The Senior Zone
The Senior Zone is the DMV’s #1 weekly radio program dedicated to empowering adults 50+ to live fuller, healthier, and more informed lives — now available on demand as a podcast.
Hosted by Shawn Perry since 2012, The Senior Zone features thoughtful conversations with trusted experts, community leaders, advocates, and everyday people doing extraordinary work in aging, health, finance, caregiving, and purposeful living. From timely resources and consumer protections to inspiration, wisdom, and real talk — this is where experience meets opportunity.
Whether you’re planning your next chapter, supporting a loved one, or simply committed to thriving beyond expectations, The Senior Zone delivers insight, clarity, and encouragement — one meaningful conversation at a time.
🎙️ New episodes weekly
📍 Originally broadcast on WYCB 1340AM (Washington, DC)
The Senior Zone
Ep. 724 | Your Experience Still Matters: Mentorship, Purpose & Navigating the ICU
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
What happens to decades of experience after retirement, career changes, or major life transitions?
This week on The Senior Zone, Shawn Perry talks with Dr. Deborah Heiser, applied developmental psychologist, TEDx speaker and founder of The Mentor Project, about mentorship, purpose, generativity and why the wisdom we accumulate throughout life still has tremendous value.
Then, pulmonary and critical care physician Dr. Lara Goitein helps families better understand one of healthcare’s most intimidating environments—the intensive care unit. What should families expect? What questions should they ask? And how can they participate confidently in decisions concerning someone they love?
Plus: Birthdays of the Week, Dear Grave Woman featuring Joelle Simon, the Later Life Lowdown, and another Weekly Vitamin for the road ahead.
The Senior Zone airs Mondays from 10:00–11:00 AM ET on WYCB 1340 AM and streams live at MySpiritDC.com. Listen on demand afterward on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music and other major podcast platforms.
Thank you for listening and until we meet again…keep your head high, your heart full, and always — be someone who makes someone else look forward to their tomorrow.
Welcome to The Senior Zone / Weekly Vitamin
SPEAKER_11Welcome to the Senior Zone, where we connect older adults with the organizations and resources that serve them.
SPEAKER_02Senior Zone's goal of working with local and actual partners aims to educate, empower, enlighten, entertain, and engage older adults with the tools and information to stay healthy, happy, and secure.
SPEAKER_09Great guests, health tips, upcoming events, and useful information.
SPEAKER_02So get ready to take notes and have some fun. It's now time for the Senior Zone.
SPEAKER_00Good morning, family, and welcome to another Monday edition of the Senior Zone. I'm Sean Perry, and for more than a decade now, we've been here every week reminding you that getting older does not mean becoming less relevant, less capable, or less important. In fact, sometimes the years behind us become some of our greatest assets. And that leads me to this week's weekly vitamin. Never confuse a change in your role with a change in your worth. I'll say that one more time. Never confuse a change in your role with a change in your worth. Jobs end, titles change, children grow up, our bodies change, life rearranges itself. But everything you've learned, the mistakes, the victories, the relationships, the wisdom, you still carry that with you. And somebody somewhere can benefit from what you know now. And that's where we begin today. In segment one, we're talking about what happens to all that life experience when the career ends or the title disappears. My guest is Dr. Deborah Heiser, an applied developmental psychologist, TEDx speaker, and founder of the Mentor Project, and we'll talk about how experience can become purpose through mentorship and connection. And then in segment two, we turn to a place that can create tremendous anxiety for families, the Intensive Care Unit, also known as ICU. Dr. Laura Goyteen, a physician specializing in pulmonary and critical care medicine, will help us better understand what's inside the ICU, what happens inside the ICU, what families should ask, and how to navigate those difficult moments with greater clarity and confidence. And folks, remember, you don't have to catch every conversation live anymore. The senior zone is now available on demand wherever you listen to podcasts. So you can take us with you, share an episode with somebody you love, and continue the conversation whenever it works for you. Now, before we finish today, we'll celebrate our birthdays of the week. We are here, another edition of Dear Grave Woman featuring Joelle Simone, and then we'll bring you the latest resources, events, and information in our later life lowdown. And before we take this quick break, I gotta send some love and gratitude to our sponsors and partners. So as always, thank you, Legal Counsel for the Elderly, AARP of the District of Columbia, AARP of the State of Maryland, Compassion and Choices, Jewish Council for the Aging, Mary's Center, and the DC Department of Aging and Community Living. Folks, we'll be right back after this short break, brought to you by Legal Counsel for the Elderly, providing free legal and social work services to DC residents most in need. Don't change that dial. I promise we'll be right back.
SPEAKER_01Legal Counsel for the Elderly champions the dignity and rights of D.C. elders by providing free legal and social work services to those in need. Worried about eviction or foreclosure? Need help obtaining Social Security or Veterans Benefits? Call Legal Counsel for the Elderly at 202-434-2120. Income eligibility applies. LCE is an affiliate of AARP 202-434-2120.
SPEAKER_12Attention, listeners, criminals are consistently developing new ways to steal your hard-earned money and personal information. But the AARP Fraud Watch Network is here to help you protect yourself and your loved ones. See or report scams in your area with our scam tracking map. Get guidance from our trained fraud specialists and sign up to receive information on the latest scams. Knowledge is power. If you can spot a scam, you can stop a scam. Get more tips and resources at AARP.org slash fraudwatch network.
SPEAKER_00Welcome,
Dr. Deborah Heiser: Why Your Experience Still Matters
SPEAKER_00welcome, welcome. I am your host, Sean Perry, and this is the Senior Zone. Family, let me ask you something. After 50, 60, or even 70 years of living, working, raising families, solving problems, making mistakes, and learning from them, what happens to all that knowledge? Because sometimes once the career ends or the title disappears, people begin wondering whether their value disappeared with it. And I don't believe that, and neither does my guest. Dr. Deborah Heiser is an applied developmental psychologist, TEDx speaker, and founder of the Mentor Project. Deborah, Dr. Heiser, as I should say. Always good to have you back here on the Senior Zone.
SPEAKER_03It's so good to be back here with you. I just love your show. So thank you. It's a delight to be here.
SPEAKER_00It is an absolute pleasure to have you here. I am all smiles for our listeners out there, uh, having Dr. Heiser here. So let's start right here, uh, Dr. uh Heiser. Do we sometimes confuse uh retiring from a job with retiring from relevance? Because I think some older adults leave the workforce and suddenly start asking, okay, who am I now?
SPEAKER_03Oh, for sure. You know, most of us have a what I'd call a business card, but we call it an identity card. And we identify all of our relevance with our job title and our work. And so we think, well, retirement means I'm not gonna be anything. Um, my identity is going away, and my relevance, therefore, is going away. And that's a really tough thing for a lot of people because work takes up most of the time, more than eight hours a day in time, but it takes up in our mental space um way more space than that because we've spent our time, our early years preparing for this job, whatever this title is that we have, and whatever we're doing, and we we then have that as taking up a lot of space in our mind. And that can be a big problem.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it's important because the title may disappear, but everything that we've learned, uh earning that title, it's still there, right? And that's what I want to share with our listeners. So, Dr. Heiser, how does somebody in their 60s? I've got my hand raised right now, I'm in my 60s, uh, 70s or even 80s recognize what they actually have to offer because sometimes what we call just life experience may actually be valuable wisdom for somebody else.
SPEAKER_03You know, we all have relevance and we all have wisdom. We all have things 60, even 50, if I back it up, our jobs are just our jobs, right? We have that skill set that we have no matter what, whether we're on the job or we're not. But most of us don't realize we have a lot of emotional stuff at 60, 50, 70, whatever. It doesn't matter the age. We have a lot of emotional relevance. So if we were to look, if I were to say to you, hey, what is it that you want people to know about you and you're 60? And what do you want to say? Hey, I'm here's my footprint on life. Most people want to say something concrete that had to do with their job or has to do with something that they have as in their expertise title, whatever that is. Most of us don't realize that all of our most amazing stuff that we pass down is the wisdom of family. It's our culture, it's our value, it's our um religion, it's the traditions. We're coming up to the fall, and we have all these holidays that are coming up. You know, like there's Halloween, there's um Thanksgiving, there's, you know, the winter holidays coming up. Everyone can picture what their holiday can be like, whether they like it or not, they have the picture in their mind of what that is. And the food that you eat, the smells that you have. You were talking about cookouts earlier. We all know what those tastes are gonna be, what people are gonna be doing, how we're gonna be feeling. That is one of the things that we pass on, that feeling of closeness, that feeling of values. And that is what at 60, like you said, um, is what we can turn to and say, what emotionally am I passing down? What am I giving back? What am I putting out there that is emotional that somebody else is going to carry in them? Hardly anybody ever thinks about that. But when we think about life, that's what we reflect on. We say, Oh yeah, my grandma's wisdom, she left me with this. We don't say, oh, grandma, you know, had a title, you know, that's not what we think about. We think about how people make us feel.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And such a great segue into my next uh question. Dr. Heiser, you know, I've been thinking about something that I'll call wisdom equity, right? You just spoke about wisdom, but wisdom equity, because you know, we talk about home equity, we talk about financial equity, but after decades of living, we also build up judgment, perspective, relationships, lessons, and experience. With all of that just being said, why do you think so many older adults underestimate the value of all of that?
SPEAKER_03Oh, we are underestimators with everything. We have impact amnesia. We do something great, say something great, have a good, and we forget. And that's just one of the things that we do. So um we're great at remembering things other people didn't said, but we're really bad at it for ourselves. And part of it is that, you know, we we're kind of built to be humble. People are saying be humble. And so we we put those things to the side for ourselves. We're even humble with ourselves. But if we can start to think about all the emotional things, everything you just listed out, they're all emotional things, you know, judgment and wisdom and things like that. Those are the things that we should not be humble about. We should be saying, I want to make sure that I am the top-notch, you know, wisdom giver, um, which could mean all the recipes and values and things like that for the holidays and the cookouts and whatever. But those sorts of things we have a problem with. And it's partly because we do the same thing with jobs. You know, we we are pretty humble as as Americans, we're pretty humble with things for ourselves, and that's why we forget. But in terms of the emotional stuff, it's simply remembering for ourselves. This will help us remember judgment, relationships, having better parts of that to say, I need to make sure that I'm doing these things and when am I doing it? So reflecting every day on it, what have I done? Who have I talked to? What wisdom have I imparted? Um, did I say something to anybody? Did anybody say something to me? And that's going to help us to build up that bank of memory of the things that, like judgment, relationships, values, wisdom that we're already doing. Nobody's not doing any of that. We're all doing it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And speaking of bank, you know, I would say that most of our valuable assets, they may never show up on a bank statement, right? Because we have them in intelligence and wisdom and just life experiences that we have uh lived and surrounded ourselves with. You know, we hear so much, Dr. Heiser, about what supposedly declines as we get older. I want you to flip that around uh for us. What are some things that can actually become stronger with age? Judgment, emotional maturity, et cetera.
SPEAKER_03Are anything emotional becomes stronger? So, you know, as we age, I'm wearing reading glasses, you know, I can't run as fast. We all know that that's gonna happen. And that scares us, right? That we're gonna have some of the physical decline. But ask anybody who's at the age where they need reading glasses if they care if they can run as fast as they used to be able to, and they don't. These are the emotional growth that we have, we get much more satisfied with having better judgment. You feel better in situations, you have better coping skills, you know how to navigate a tricky situation. If you are you're not caring about the Joneses as much, so you don't care if somebody thinks, you know, they don't think highly about whatever you're doing, meaning like maybe you don't decorate your lawn nicely enough, or maybe you, you know, whatever the deal is that's out there. Nobody cares anymore. They just don't care. And that, when I say that, is not a negative thing. That's emotional maturity. When we can have that, we feel more comfortable in life, we feel more satisfied in our relationships because we're not looking for things that are going to impress other people. And an example of that is I was just talking with somebody who's in her 60s yesterday, and she was saying, Oh, yeah, so you know, one of my friends, she ended up, you know, having a new relationship with someone, and they got married. And she said to the person, um, is he the type that you would have married when you were younger or dated? And she said, No, he didn't have the look she wanted. He didn't have, you know, the stuff that was going to be impressive to others, but they're unbelievably happy because they have a deeper emotional connection. And that's what we're good at doing is finding those deep emotional connections with friends, with family, with coworkers, with, you know, when we're getting, you know, love interests. We're really good at that as we get older.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Some things just have to take time and marinate and before they can uh become what they are at this stage of life, right? You know, the things in 60, yeah, we should not have been wanting at 20, and vice, vice versa, just different parts of uh life. Let's talk about sharing wisdom without preaching. You know, I want to challenge my older fellow adults out there just a little bit. Sometimes, you know, we complain, Dr. Haji, that the younger generations they don't listen. But do we also have to learn how to share our wisdom? Maybe less, you know, let me tell you what you should know, sort of thing, and more listening, asking questions and having conversations with younger folks?
SPEAKER_03That's, you know, yes, we should always listen. One thing we should always do is say, um, you can still preach what you want to preach and say what you want to say, but you also need to listen to what they have to say. So I think that we have to be willing to then hear what the other side has to say. And that we found that works in business. So I'm I'm never gonna say don't preach because I've learned some of my biggest lessons from one of my grandparents preaching to me something. And, you know, I I'll hold that forever. If they didn't do that, I wouldn't know it and wouldn't hold it dear. But here's one thing that people can do is that they can listen. And Jack Welsh did this when he said, I want to talk about reverse mentoring in the workplace. And he started to say newcomers need to be listened to with regard to, and he thought of it as the new tech, you know, teaching the old dogs how to write emails and do things like that, which, you know, in the 90s was a big deal. So if we think about that though, in life and in our families and in our relationships and everywhere that we are, what do you have that I can learn from you? It stops at being preachy and it makes it so that the other person gets to feel like they matter too, not that they're just a receptacle of wisdom that they may or may not want at that time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So let's turn this around, Dr. Heiser. What can somebody who is 65, 70, or even 75 genuinely learn from someone who is 25 or 30? Because as you already know, mentorship doesn't have to be a one-way street.
SPEAKER_03You can learn culture and values, which is one of the biggest things. A lot of companies miss this mark. And I'm gonna list companies because it it also applies to relationships and people and families. So imagine I, and this happens all the time, imagine I go to sell something and I want to sell you a pen. I have this pen here, and you're 20, and I'm like, I've got this great pen. Look, it's red, it's fabulous. If I'm writing, I like a nice ballpoint pen, and you're 20, and you say, I don't use a pen ever. I don't even want a pen. I use my phone. I don't ever write anything on paper. I have to understand that because I'm gonna be missing the market for this, you know, selling this pen, or I'm gonna be spending a lot of money on marketing to people who aren't gonna want it. I need to know the culture and values of those who are younger. Now, if I'm in a family and I dismiss the culture and values of the younger people, we're not gonna have a relationship. I have to understand where they're coming from and be able to at least hear it. I don't have to like it. Like I could say, I want to sell this pen to a 20-year-old. Man, I'm I'm so disappointed they don't like pens. You can feel that, but you have to be able to then deal with that. And that's one of the things. If we're in our 60s or 50s or 70s, whatever age, we need to know that we can get the culture and value of the younger generation and understand where they're coming from. I learn all the time from my students, and I've seen how relationships and and and younger adults shift in how they communicate with others. And I don't feel scared of it. It doesn't feel negative, it doesn't feel like something that I should say that's bad. I am able to see it from their perspective, and then I don't have to communicate like that, but I get what they're saying and doing then, and I'm then I'm not gonna get the okay boomer comment from someone.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I just believe, contend that you know, we can all make each other better if we are open to becoming uh better. Let's let's dive a little deeper. I want you to be even more practical. Uh, someone listening says, hey, Dr. Heiser, I'm retired. I'm not looking for another career. I don't want another full-time obligation, but I do want what I've learned to help somebody else. Where do they begin? Does mentoring have to be a formal thing?
SPEAKER_03No, you know, everybody's mentoring without knowing it. Our biggest mentors are grandmas and grandpas. They're out there sharing their wisdom and nobody even knows it. You know, like nobody's taking it in. But let me just ask everybody where they got their family recipes from, their traditions from, whatever. You're mentoring. When you know that you're doing that, if you're just saying, oh, I'm babysitting the grandkids, you can think of it that way, or you can say, ooh, I have an opportunity to, you know, share all of the things that are important to me. Um, you know, I remember being a kid and I was five, and my grandfather took me on road trips with him to run all of his errands on Saturday. He was helping out my mom, you know, giving her a break. But I got like, it was no joke, like a PhD in Grandpa Wisdom on every Saturday when we went out. So if you are doing things just practically, think of who you're hanging out with. A lot of people can do that with family, but you know, you can do things like join the local rotary or chamber of commerce or those organizations, um, and you can give back in that way. So a lot of people like to volunteer. They say, I don't want to do formal mentoring. I want to, I want to do something else. Well, you know, if you join some of those local organizations, you're gonna be doing the turkey drive, giving back to people less fortunate and doing some of those things that can take some of what you have values in and put that out into the community. There's tons of places, faith-based institutions have that. So getting more involved is where you're going to be touching the lives of others, even if it feels like there's one degree of separation from it, like if you're volunteering and not seeing the family eating the turkey that you helped with the turkey drive or something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So that's what mentors can give, right? Let's talk now about uh, because you are the head of the mentor project. What have you learned about what the mentor gets back from those relationships?
SPEAKER_03So I I want to clarify, I ran the mentor project. I founded and then was CEO for eight years, but we had it, um, it has it it's done now. The mentor project is not happening anymore. It was a it was a great ride, but that I learned a lot, including enough to write a book about it. Um that here's what people get back, and this was a journey of learning because I didn't know that this was gonna be be the case. People feel useful. Have who doesn't want to feel useful? Um relevant. Um, people who retire get to the point where they don't feel relevant. You feel relevant and you feel useful immediately when you are mentoring somebody. Um, you get to feel like you have a place in the World. In terms of some of the other things that a person gets as a mentor is the feeling of a legacy. When I spoke with um Bob Lefkowitz, he's the 2012 Nobel Prize winner in chemistry. He said, I didn't know I made an impact. I know I got the award, but I was I was kind of wondering how did this happen? Where did this evolve from? So he made up a tree that he called the legacy tree, and on it were all of his mentors. And he didn't know how many people he mentored. So we had a couple people on there, but he, you know, he wrote that up, but then he published it. And he went to a conference, and somebody came up to him at the conference and said, Bob, I'm six degrees Lefkowitz. And he said, What do you mean? And the guy said, Well, I've been working on the work that you started, but there are five people between you and me. And he said, Well, what are you working on? And the guy told him, and he felt so moved. He said, That was such an important moment for him, like almost as big as when he had his children because he saw his life in somebody six degrees away from him. So the mentors get something way bigger than a mentee. That guy felt like, okay, I had a I've had this opportunity to do this work, but he knows that he lives on six degrees beyond himself, and it's gonna continue. Getting to see that snowball effect is huge. And everybody has that. You can look at your grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, grandnieces, grandnefews, neighbors, you know, community things. That's what mentors get is the knowledge that their footprint is deep.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Dr. Heiser, as always, we run out of time uh when you come on the senior zone. I have about 30 seconds or so for this next question. I want to close with the person listening right now who may be thinking, I'm 68, I'm 72, I'm 80. Nobody really needs what I know anymore. Talk to that person this morning uh with within about 30 seconds or so, my friend.
SPEAKER_03We need you. You need to look to your left and look to your right and share your wisdom with somebody next to you because you may not know it. They may need to know the values and the culture and the traditions and the wisdom that you hold. That might just unlock something important for them that will change their life.
SPEAKER_00Gotcha. And my last question now is how can our listeners learn more about you? Is there a website contact number? Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03So you can find me at Deborah Heiser.com. I write for Psychology Today. So you can find me there, the right side of 40. I'm on Substack, the Right Side of 40, and I'm kind of all over the place. If you just type in my name, you'll find me all over.
SPEAKER_00Gotcha. Dr. Deborah Heiser, always a pleasure here. And family, I hope you heard this message loud and clear. Your job may change, your title may change, your responsibilities may change, but your experience, your perspective, your lessons, and your wisdom, they still have value. And sometimes this chapter of life isn't about achieving more, sometimes it's about sharing more. You can learn more about Dr. Deborah Heiser and her work again at Deborahheiser.com. That's Deborah Heiser.com. Deborah Heiser, Dr. Deborah Heiser, thank you once again for joining us here on the Cena Zone.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00Always a pleasure. Folks, this is Sean Perry. Please stay with us. This next break is brought to you by Compassion and Choices, empowering everyone to chart their own end of life journey. We'll be right back. In life, choices matter.
SPEAKER_08Compassion and Choices is here to support you on your journey. Our organization provides a wealth of resources to help you navigate difficult decisions with compassion and understanding. Need guidance on end of life choices? Visit our website at compassionatechoices.org for a range of informative articles, toolkits, and personal stories. Our compassionate team is just a call away, ready to assist you. Because, let's face it, talking about death is not gonna kill you. Compassionate choices, empowering you to make choices that reflect your values.
SPEAKER_11Hi, neighbor. I'm inviting you and your wife to my husband's 65th birthday party next week.
SPEAKER_04Great. Has he applied for Medicare yet?
SPEAKER_11Not yet. It's very confusing.
SPEAKER_04Call Montgomery County Ship. They help me with questions about my Medicare coverage.
SPEAKER_11What's Montgomery County Ship?
SPEAKER_04It's ship like a boat. Montgomery County State Health Insurance Assistance Program. They help seniors like us, or people with disabilities, or caregivers and families with Medicare insurance questions.
SPEAKER_11Can anyone call them?
SPEAKER_04Sure, as long as you live in Montgomery County. You can call them at 301-255-4250. Or check out their website at www.medicareabcd.org. What's that number again? Montgomery County Ship. 301-255-4250. Made possible with a grant from the U.S. Administration for Community Living through the state of Maryland and Montgomery County.
SPEAKER_10When you hear the chirp, it's time to do some work. Change the battery. Working smoke alarms save lives, including yours. For more information on smoke alarms and other fire prevention and safety tips, contact the DC Fire and EMS Department Fire Prevention Division at 202-727-1614. Or email us at FEMS.fireprevention at DC.gov.
SPEAKER_09Growing older shouldn't mean giving up your independence, connections, or the life you love. The DC Department of Aging and Community Living supports district residents with nutritious meals, transportation, caregiver assistance, benefits counseling, and resources to help you remain safe and independent at home. For more information, call 202-724-5626 or visit dhtl.dc.gov. The DC Department of Aging and Community Living, helping older adults, people with disabilities, and caregivers live well in the communities they call
Dr. Lara Goitein: Understanding and Navigating the ICU
SPEAKER_09home.
SPEAKER_00Welcome back. This is the Senior Zone, and I'm your host, Sean Perry. You know, at its baseline, more than 5 million patients are admitted to ICUs in the United States annually. Unfortunately, COVID-19 has only increased these numbers. Almost all of us will be touched by the ICU at some point, directly or indirectly. When your loved one is in the ICU, it's not only possible to be an advocate for your loved one, it's essential. With us today to discuss how to navigate the intensive care unit, once a loved one has been admitted, is Dr. Laura Goitin, a Harvard-trained physician specializing in intensive care and lung medicine. Dr. Goetin, welcome to the Senior Zone.
SPEAKER_06Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.
SPEAKER_00It's a pleasure to have you here. For our listeners, share your background and why you decided uh to uh uh to speak about navigating uh the ICU.
SPEAKER_06Absolutely. I'm a physician specialing look specializing in pulmonary and critical care medicine. That means lung and ICU medicine. And I have practiced in various ICUs uh for about 12 years. Over the past few years, I um have transitioned to mostly administrative work running a quality program for uh my hospital. But I wanted to use my experience uh in ICUs to help the family members of patients, particularly during COVID-19. And that's why I finally wrote this book, although it's been on my mind to write it for about 15 years. I've always sympathize deeply with the family members of ICU patients, probably more than with the ICU patients themselves, who are for the most part uh sleepy or sedated and not very aware of what's going on around them. In contrast, the family members of ICU members are uh very much awake and they are terrified for their loved ones. On top of that, they're suddenly immersed in a very alien, intimidating world hidden from most of us, um, and um extremely overwhelmed by their surroundings. They're in desperate need of clear, good explanations, which sometimes um busy doctors and nurses as much as they would like to, just don't really have the time to provide in depth. So I realized I had a repertoire of explanations I've given to families over and over through the years, and that I could put it in a book. And that's what this book uh is about.
SPEAKER_00And the book is entitled, I failed to mention that, and my apologies. The book is entitled The ICU Guide for Families, Understanding Intensive Care and How You Can Support Your Loved One. Again, that's the ICU guide for families, understanding intensive care and how you can support your loved one. I know for me and my limited experience, and thank God I have limited experience with ICUs, but I guess my question would be is even when I go to the hospital, if it's not the ICU, is I don't know who's who in the ICU and who to approach, which doctor is specializing in what and who to go to. Because there's so many moving parts. People are moving around and trying to take care of those that are ill. You know, is there a way that you can just identify as there always appoint person you would have if you go to an ICU?
SPEAKER_06Yes. ICU medicine has become so specialized that it really requires a whole team of experts to take care of ICU patients. But there is one person who is coordinating that whole team, and that is the attending of record. They're the ones with final responsibility. In the ICU, that will be colloquially referred to as the ICU doctor. In a teaching hospital where medical students and residents are training, it will be called the attending. But it's basically the senior doctor who's coordinating the activities of the whole team. And that team can include uh certainly very important players, the uh the bedside nurses who take care of the moment-to-moment needs and treatments of ICU patients. Um, the uh, if it's in an academic center, the medical students and residents who are integral parts of the team, there are respiratory therapists, nutritionists, um, uh physical therapy uh specialists, uh, spiritual care, palliative care, social workers, case workers. I don't want to give anyone short shrift. I'm sure I'm leaving some people out. It's a huge team of people. What I would recommend is that if you're in a situation where your loved one is in the ICU, you bring a notebook with you and keep careful notes. You will be tired, you'll be in shock, and your memory will not be great. So you can write down details. Um, you want to remember questions that you want to remember to ask. An important thing to write down is the name and role of each person that comes into that room and is involved in your loved one's care. Um, that can help you keep track of who's who and help you to communicate with the team. But you should remember there is one I see you doctor of record, and you should know who that person is and expect to talk with that person for time to time from time to time to get an update.
SPEAKER_00When is it? I've you know, here on the senior zone, we speak about having our final affairs and our wills and power of attorneys and all that sort of stuff in order, right? But that's when you're being, you know, proactive. You know, when you're in an ICU in many cases, if it's an accident, you know, in an emergency sort of situation, you and you may not have gotten around to that. So let's say you have someone who doesn't have their final affairs, you know, in order, right? How are the medical decisions made regarding their care? Is it the just the next of kin? I know, I know if it's a spouse, that's easy. How does that work in ICU? Or is the are ICU folks, the ICU staff just making the best healthcare decisions in that moment?
SPEAKER_06So if the patient is competent to make their own decisions and to communicate their own decisions, that is the medical decision maker. In the case that they're not able to communicate their own decisions, it helps a lot, as you alluded to, to have a durable power of attorney and have assigned a person to take that role. But in the event that you have not had a chance to do so, uh there is a default list of priority for various uh people in your life uh to take the role of medical decision maker. And each state has its own order, although they are they're uh roughly the same state to state. Uh so there is a default uh list, but I think that is something certainly uh worth for everyone visiting and seeing whether that is in fact the person that you would want to make medical decisions for you, and if not, to create a durable power of attorney. Um and even uh more importantly, to have some conversations with that person about your general feelings of what makes life meaningful, uh, what sort of uh things would make you want to not be maximally aggressive with life support. For example, is physical activity extremely important to you? Is an intellectual life extremely important to you? Have some conversations about what's important and how long you might want to be on life support and what kind of residual function uh might be acceptable to you. If you're looking for some support for these kinds of conversations, there's an organization called Five Wishes that provides some questions and discussion points uh for families to have. Um hopefully they'll never be needed, but it sure is helpful to the family if they are.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, good and useful and relevant information. And I'm just I'm just trying to drive home a point uh to our listeners here on the CNAZone to get your affairs in order. Uh no time is better than the current uh time. You know, how common, Dr. uh Goy Team, is you know, is it to have an illness that requires ICU?
SPEAKER_06It's it's common. As you mentioned, about five million people are admitted uh to the ICU every year. Um and that leaves each of our odds every year of not being admitted to the ICU pretty good. But if you do a little math, that also means that about a third of us are likely to have one of the five people closest to in our lives admitted to the ICU over the next five years. So we are very likely, as you pointed out, to be touched by the ICU as a family member, if not as a patient ourselves.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. What's the best thing that a caregiver, Dr. Goytin, uh can do uh for their loved one when they go in ICU? You know, from where they sit, you know, and they they're not able to touch and and see their loved one, but how can they, what are the say top one, two or three things that they can do with all the fear and anxiety that they have to best advocate for their loved one?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I think a a big uh goal of my book was to try to convince family members that they really can play a central, helpful role in supporting their loved one and the team of ICU um caregivers. Um and I think a lot of family members have an intense, awful feeling of helplessness when their family member is admitted. Um they they they want so much to protect their loved one and do what they can, but they just really don't know what that is. So my book is designed to give people very practical suggestions at each step of the way of what they should be looking out for and how they can help their loved one actively. So, you know, there's just many, many suggestions. I'll give a few examples. Sure. One is bringing in an accurate list of medications when you come in when your family member is first admitted. That becomes extremely important in understanding what medications may be on board, what interactions with other medications may exist, and what medications need to be restarted later in the hospitalization. Having an accurate list is very helpful to the ICU team and to your loved one. Um I would say there are a number of sort of practical ways that people might not think of where they can help on a day-to-day basis. One of those is in helping with uh mobilizing the patient. So we know that keeping patients moving as much as possible helps to guard against complications like blood clots, pneumonia, uh, delirium, uh, bad bed sores. Um, but uh getting patients awake enough so that they can do some movement and exercise, and then supervising the exercise itself is a tall order for nurses who are extremely busy with their patients and never more so than now. So, one way that family members can help is to offer to be present at the bedside and help to supervise while that patient is awake or perhaps sitting upright in bed, um, and just be an extra set of eyes on that patient to help to encourage and facilitate mobility. Another way that family members can help their loved one is to help protect sleep. It is really hard to get enough sleep in the ICU for patients. Things are beeping, people are coming in and out. So asking the nurse if he or she would dim the lights or quiet the alarms at night, bringing in eye shades and earplugs or a white noise machine, for example, to help with sleep. If the patient has been in the ICU for a while and has started to stabilize, it may be possible to protect a few hours at a time at night for uninterrupted sleep without tests and vital signs. These are things you can speak with your nurse and the nurse manager of the unit about. So helping to guard sleep is another way that families can help. But there are many, many practical ways that families can be a real support to the efforts of the ICU team.
SPEAKER_00Good stuff. Dr. Gorson, I need you back here in the CNAZone because we're just scratching the surface on things that I just want to ask you, but our time is running out. You mentioned that you had uh shifted away from the ICU some time ago. You know, uh you're now focusing on long medicine. Uh do you miss the ICU?
SPEAKER_06I do miss the ICU. Um, I miss uh the medicine, which is fascinating. Even more than that, I miss the feeling of being so central and important in such a pivotal time in people's lives. Um you get to know your patient sometimes through their families extremely intimately, particularly if you're discussing issues such as what makes a meaningful life and how aggressive to be with life support, and um if and when to withdraw life support. Um, you find out what's important to people, whether they believe in God, whether they're afraid of being dependent. All of the small stuff, the trivial stuff kind of falls away, and you're left with the heart of what's most important. And I tell you, what's most important is often those uh relationships with family members uh that gives meaning to the lives we're trying to save.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, all things come into perspective uh during times, times like that. Well, I wish I had more time with you, Dr. Goy Team, but I don't I do welcome you back here to the Cenazone uh one day uh soon. Oh, I'd like that. All right, I look forward to it as well. Ladies and gentlemen, we've been speaking with Dr. Laura Goyteen, a Harvard-trained physician specializing in intensive care and lung medicine. She is also the author of the ICU Guide for Families, Understanding Intensive Care and How You Can Support Your Loved One. Dr. Goyteen, thank you. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Folks, this next break is brought to you by AARP DC, your wise friend and fierce defender in Washington, D.C. When we return, it's birthdays of the week, followed by Dear Grave Woman featuring Joelle Simone, and then it's your later life lowdown. News, events, and resources you can use. We'll be right back.
SPEAKER_08Today is your day to connect with AARP in DC. AARP is here in the District of Columbia working hard to make it an even better place to live, work, and play for people of all ages, and you can help. Put your skills and talents to good use as an AARP volunteer, where you can help lead local events or become an advocate for the issues that matter in your community, like funding for programs that help district residents age with dignity and independence. AARP is also helping you get the most out of life. Check out their educational workshops where they can help you grow as a caregiver, find a job, and teach you about the latest technology. Or enjoy a night out at any of their exciting local events, like their happy hours and free movie screenings. Today is your day to connect with your community and with AARP. So let's take on today and every day. Learn more at aarp.org slash DC.
SPEAKER_07Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday!
Birthdays of the Week
SPEAKER_00Welcome back, everybody. It's time for one of our favorite weekly traditions here on the senior zone, and that's honoring, recognizing, and celebrating some of our amazing seniors who are adding another candle to their life's cake this week. So let's get this celebration started. First up, we have Joanne Kasen 72 today, Monday, September 21st from Baltimore, Maryland. Happy birthday, Joanne Elvira or Elvira Patrick 71. Today as well, September 21st from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Elvira. Melvin Johnson, 74. Monday, September 21st from Capitol Heights, Maryland. Happy birthday, Melvin Vita Hicks, 61. Today as well, September 21st from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Vita, Julianne Malvo, 73. Tuesday, September 22nd from Washington, D.C. Happy, happy birthday, Julianne. Tamika Price or Pierce, I should say. Tameka Pierce, Double Nichols, 55 on Tuesday, September 22nd from Passaic, New Jersey. Happy birthday, Tamika. Johnny Steele, 68 on Wednesday, September 23rd from Alexandria, Virginia. Happy birthday, Johnny. This one is personal, a very good friend of mine, Valerie Salisbury Edmund, 62. Social Security Eligible. You don't need it. 62 on Wednesday, September 23rd from Houston, Texas. Happy birthday, Val. Carl Mitchell, 62 as well. Social Security Eligible on Wednesday, September 23rd from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Happy birthday, Carl Millette Green. Friday, September 25th. She turns 57 from Washington, D.C. She's on NBC Ford News, a reporter, an anchor. She is doing it. Happy birthday, Millette. Donetta Brown Russell, another Social Security eligible one, turned 62 on Friday, September 25th from Stone Mountain, Georgia. All over the map. Happy birthday, Donetta Irish Thompson, 71 on Saturday, September 26th from Alexandria, Virginia. Happy birthday, Irish, and last but not least, Sonny Brown, 82 on Sunday, September 27th from Temple Hills, Maryland. Happy birthday, Sonny. Again, folks, happy birthday to each and every one of you from all of us here at the Senior Zone. May this next trip around the sun bring you good health, plenty of laughter, meaningful moments, and more reason than ever to keep looking forward to your tomorrow. And remember, if you'd like to have your birthday announced here on the senior zone, just send us an email. Send that email to info at the senior zone.com. That's INFO at the senior zone.com. Please include your full name, your birth date, the age that you are turning, along with your city and state. Now,
Dear Grave Woman featuring Joelle Simon
SPEAKER_00from celebrating another year of life to a part of the program that reminds us just how meaningful every part of that life can be. So now let's turn our attention to this week's edition of Dear Grave Woman. Joelle, the mic is yours, my friend.
SPEAKER_05Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Dear Grave Woman. I am your host, Joelle Simone, known internationally as the Grave Woman, and this is your three-minute segment here on the Senior Zone where we talk about life, death, grief, and everything in between as it relates to pre-planning. What happens when your digital life outlives you? This month we're working with the theme of preparedness is more than paperwork in honor of National Preparedness Month. And my question today is have you prepared for your digital life after death? You may have a will, you may have a funeral plan, and you may have all of those important documents organized, which is important. But what happens to your photographs, your emails, your social media accounts, your online banking, subscriptions, videos, and messages when you're gone. You need to understand first and foremost that your digital life is a part of your legacy. Think about how many of your memories now live on your phone or in the cloud. Photographs of your grandchildren, videos of family celebrations, messages from the people you love, and maybe even your recordings of loved ones and relatives who have passed away. Those things have value. So ask yourself, what do I want to preserve? And who should have access to it? My second point is that you don't want to make your family become digital detectives. Imagine losing someone and then having to figure out their passwords, their accounts, their bills, their photographs, their subscriptions all while grieving. The most important thing to understand here is that you don't have to give everyone access to everything. But you should have a secure plan for telling the right person what exists, where it exists, and what you want to do with it. And finally, your digital presence can become a part of how people grieve. A photograph can grieve. A video can let someone know and hear your voice again. An unexpected social media notification can also reopen an old. So decide now what do you want your family to preserve, what should be deleted, and what should happen to your social media account should you have one. Because parent is not about what happens when you die. It's about creating clarity for the people who have to live after you're gone. If your digital life became your family's last connection to you, what would you want them to find? I'm Joelle Simone, The Grave Woman, and this has been this week's episode of Dear Grave Woman. Please remember that your legacy isn't only in your home, some of it is sitting in your phone. Until next time, have the conversation and remember that you don't have to wait until death makes you have it. Sean, back to you for the later life lowdown.
SPEAKER_00Joel, Joel, my friend, thank you, thank you, thank you as always. Family, Joel reminded us that so much of our legacy now lives on our phones, our computers, and in the cloud. Taking time to organize those accounts, decide what should be saved, and choose someone you trust can spare your loved ones added confusion while they're grieving. A little preparation today can provide your family with clarity and one less burden tomorrow. All right, family,
Later Life Lowdown
SPEAKER_00it's time for your later life lowdown, a quick look at what's happening around the DMV to help you stay active, informed, and connected. And now in Washington, D.C., the DC Department of Aging and Community Living is hosting Falls Prevention Awareness Day tomorrow, Tuesday, September 22nd, from 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. at 899 North Capitol Street, Northeast. There'll be free balance screenings, medication reviews, home safety information, and resources designed to help you stay active, independent, and reduce your risk of falling. For more information, call the DC Department of Aging and Community Living at 202-724-5626. That's 202-724-5626. Now let's head over to Maryland. The North Laurel 50 Plus Center is hosting a mid-autumn moon festival on Thursday, September 24th from 10 a.m. until noon. That's 10 a.m. until noon. You can enjoy traditional music, dance, and cultural performances celebrating family, community, and the season's harvest. The North Laurel 50 Plus Center is located at 9411 Whiskey Bottom Road in Laurel. That's 9411 Whiskey Bottom Road in Laurel, Maryland. For more information, call 410-313-0380. That's 410-313-0380. And finally, over in Northern Virginia, the Plum Center for Lifelong Learning in Springfield is hosting a Saturday matinee and film discussion on September 26th. That's Saturday again from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m., featuring the classic film Cinema Paradiso. I've never seen that one. It's free, but seating is limited, so registration is recommended. For more information, call 703-658-1201. That's 703-658-1201. And before we move on, here's your weekly reminder about benefitscheckup.org. It's a website from the National Council on Aging. It's a free and confidential tool that can help older adults determine whether they qualify for programs that help with food, prescription drugs, health care, utilities, housing, and other everyday expenses. Just visit benefitscheckup.org.
Final Thoughts & Show Outro
SPEAKER_00And family, that brings us to the end of another hour together here on the Senior Zone. Today, like every Monday, we've tried to give you a little bit of everything: information you can use, conversations that make you think, resources that can make life a little easier, and hopefully a little encouragement to carry with you into the week ahead. Because this season of life isn't about standing still. It's about continuing to learn, continuing to connect, continuing to prepare, continuing to celebrate, and continuing to recognize that wherever you are today, there is still life ahead of you worth living. And there are still people, experiences, and possibilities worth looking forward to. So as we move through the week ahead, stay connected to the people who matter. Take care of yourself, ask the questions you need answered, use the resources available to you, and don't underestimate the difference that one phone call, one conversation, one act of kindness, or one decision to keep moving forward can make. And one more thing, the senior zone has always been about more than just a moment. It's about building something that lasts, building conversations and connections that last long after this hour is over. That's why we are now available as a podcast so you can come back to these conversations whenever you need them, share them with someone you care about, or catch what you may have missed. Just search the senior zone. Wherever you listen to podcasts, that's the senior zone with Sean Perry. Folks, thank you for continuing to make the senior zone part of your Monday and part of your journey. I am Sean Perry. So until we meet again, keep your head high, keep your heart full, and always be someone who makes someone else look forward to their tomorrow. Love you. Peace.
SPEAKER_02Be sure to join us on our next broadcast.
SPEAKER_01Until then, live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.
SPEAKER_02Have a wonderful week, and God willing, the senior zone will be here for another informative and entertaining hour next Monday morning at 10 a.m.
.png)