Are We Flirting?

S** Tape Auditions, Couch Surfing and a Cannibalism Debate

• Syd Matthews and Greyson Hoelzel • Season 1 • Episode 6

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0:00 | 56:27

This week we talk about one of the worst weeks of our lives - Greyson's couch surfing, Syd lost her job and a whole bunch in between. Let us know your thoughts!

SPEAKER_01

Cheers.

SPEAKER_03

I can't be indoors when I sing. It's like a weird thing with like the the waves that bounce off the walls, the acoustics.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Perchance.

SPEAKER_01

You can only sing outdoors. Okay. That's untrue, but alright. Hey everybody, welcome back to Are We Flirting? I'm Sid. I'm Grayson. And we're now we're in my living room.

SPEAKER_03

And now we are in her living room. We're getting adjusted.

SPEAKER_01

We're we're adjusted. I think I like this spot.

SPEAKER_03

I think I like this little spot. We're really on the same page today. I know.

SPEAKER_01

I think we have a flow. It's because we had a really I think we drama bonded yesterday, and I have Stockholm Syndrome.

SPEAKER_03

So I think it's because we've had quite possibly the worst two weeks of lives in a long time. So for those of you who don't know, Isabella's gone. I don't, she's she's usually here.

SPEAKER_01

She's like, she she's doing a music video for Suki Waterhouse.

SPEAKER_03

She quarters herself in this house, which is illegal via the Constitution. I believe it's the Fourth Amendment. Um and she just harbors away in here like a stowaway child or a rat, perchance. And so usually she's here with us to record. Um so now in place of Isabella, we have a mirror behind the camera that we have set up.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

There's one tiny little light that I can only see if I really focus.

SPEAKER_01

And it's almost like she's here because when I look at her, it's like looking into a mirror.

SPEAKER_03

So you guys do are starting to look very similar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So oh now I miss her. I should give her a call. Her location right now says she's at an elementary school, and it said that for the past four hours.

SPEAKER_03

Interesting. Okay. Yeah. Um, so improv's good. So I took my first improv class. I did improv I'm doing improv 101 at UCB, Upright Citizens Brigade, for you people at home that don't know. Um, it was a ton of fun, actually. It there what was funny was right next door to us, there were two classrooms. There was improv 401 and then improv 101, and we had like a uh a shared wall. Okay. And so what was funny was like I got there 15 minutes early, and I was like one of the first few people. I sat in the corner by myself, as I do, away from everybody else, and I was like, Why did I do this? I shouldn't have done that. Um, and as more people were showing up, nobody in 101 spoke to each other. Not a single word was uttered in the room, but you could hear through the wall, people in 401 were like talking to each other. And so for the entire 15 minutes that I was there, all I could think about was like, should somebody say something? Like, are we should we talk to each other?

SPEAKER_01

So is 401 like the experts?

SPEAKER_03

So the way it works at uh UCB, my understanding, is like there's four levels of classes. There's 101, 201, 301, 401. You can't take one, you can't take any of them unless you've taken the previous level. So like I can't move on to 201 until I finish and graduate 101.

SPEAKER_01

You can't audition.

SPEAKER_03

So auditioning is what comes after 401. Oh so they have like in-house teams and then they have like other shows, and like that's where you can audition to be on their in-house team, or you can like audition for a different show. Um, so I don't know if I'm gonna do that, but like I definitely want to keep going. So improv 101, it was a lot of just like getting comfortable being embarrassing. Um, it was a lot of like you're gonna do these funny movements, you're gonna like say dumb things, and so like we were going around and like trying to like really just shake ourselves up, like physically.

SPEAKER_01

We snuff a little, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, literally. And so, and then we did like a couple of really fun exercises where it was like somebody threw out a word, and then two people had to like do a scene where they were literally saying yes and yeah, so it was like somebody would be like, I when I first got there, the first thing you had to do was you had to stand up and you had to do a monologue for like it was you and four other people standing, and the teacher of the class he would like point at one person and you had to monologue for as long as you could with like off of nothing, and he was just like, say like talk about something for as long as you can that you're really passionate about. And so I talked about uh I think pigeons are actually really beautiful birds, which was funny, which is funny because the person before me was talking about like wanting to get into acting, and he was like like really serious, and he was talking about like how his dad like did acting and stuff like that, and then he shifted to me, and I was like, I think pigeons are beautiful birds.

SPEAKER_01

And he goes like ten pigeon packs.

SPEAKER_03

And for like the entire rest of the three-hour class, pigeons kept getting brought up in every single like different activity that we were doing, like when we were doing scenes with a partner, or when we were doing like um uh like panels where like we had sat four or five people on like in chairs, and then the guy teaching the class would be like, Alright, I'm gonna ask you questions, you guys have to pretend to know each other. And so it was like stuff like that. And every it was it was you would love it, like genuinely you would love it. And it was really cool. I I f I when I first got there, I was really nervous, really, really nervous that I wasn't gonna be like good or I was gonna be the worst, and I don't think I was, which was nice. And I'm not gonna say anybody actually was the worst. I think we were all just like kind of getting comfortable, but like I think going into it with the mindset of like, oh, somebody's gonna be bad, somebody's been gonna be good, and then by the end of the class, I was like, we're all pretty bad, and we can get to it.

SPEAKER_01

Just let go of it, I think. It's like that with with acting classes too. But that makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_03

It was really fun. I really think you'd enjoy the class.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, and and also Grayson has a showcase that he won't invite me to.

SPEAKER_03

So they did say I don't you don't technically have to do the showcase. You should definitely do it. Oh, I will. I will for sure. But like when they said that, I was like, Oh, thank God. Because like I know some people in that class are probably not going to.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Like, you can just tell like they were there for maybe just sip outside their comfort zone. Yeah, literally, like some of them were just like, I just want to get better at public speaking. And so, like, I don't think that they would do the showcase because it's literally in front of an audience. But the the teacher was like, honestly, invite your family, invite your friends. You'll find that that is going to be the most the most rewarding off audience because they actually like know you and they're gonna cheer you on regardless of how bad you do. I don't think I want anybody I know there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but like if I literally I I know you exactly.

SPEAKER_03

If I know you and I see you in the crowd, I'm gonna be like mid saying something and then I'm gonna make eye contact with you and I'm gonna be like No, I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, know why amazing. Um, awesome. Wait, speaking of pigeons, really quick. I have a girl in my French class that has an Instagram account that is her and a pigeon she found that was like, I don't know if the pigeon was injured or something, and it's her whole account. So she's in my French class, and we're like, what do you do for work? And she's like, Oh my I do get ready with me's with a pigeon. And I was like, shut up. So I found her. It's called Oh, what's her name? I'll I'll plug her.

SPEAKER_03

Shout out to pigeon lady.

SPEAKER_01

No, she's so cute, and like she just has this pigeon. I'm like, I've oh my god, I just love people in New York, they're so fucking weird. And also, this really is the year, I think, of just like just just going and being a student again. Like it's so fun to just realize something new. Yeah, you have but like I know everyone, you know, has beat this to death about free will, but you have yes.

SPEAKER_03

No, I was gonna I was gonna break into song, but I wanted you to finish your thought first.

SPEAKER_01

But anybody everybody has the free will to just like go and take a class whenever they want.

SPEAKER_02

One, two, three. This could be the start of something new. Feels so right to be here with you.

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah. Uh Grayson.

SPEAKER_02

We really are on the same page.

SPEAKER_01

We really are, and honestly, I'm glad that you're breaking into song because it's like it's almost like I rubbed off on you or something.

SPEAKER_03

You better not be rubbing off on me.

SPEAKER_01

Rubbing off on my side.

SPEAKER_03

All right. Anyways.

SPEAKER_01

So Grayson and I had the worst day of our lives yesterday.

SPEAKER_03

So it's been a really rough two weeks since our last uh podcast. Yeah. Sid, do you want to take take it away? I just I just monologue about all my stuff.

SPEAKER_01

No, thank you for sharing it. Um so yeah, yesterday Grayson really showed up and showed out as a friend in my life, and he's he'll get uncomfortable with that. But um basically, I was already having the worst week. Grayson was having the worst week, and uh we'll get into that, but we show up to the same place to do a shoot together. Shout out to first rounds on me. Shout out to first rounds on me. But Grayson and I sort of forgot to let them know that it we were gonna be there.

SPEAKER_03

We we have a very good photographer that we were like, hey, we want to do like some podcast themed photo shoot. Shout out to Sophia. Shout out to Sophia, um and we just we had to we've postponed twice now, so this is fully on us.

SPEAKER_01

It might have been three times, it might have been three times, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And so leading up to it, the week of, we just never said anything. And then the day of, she was like, Yeah, I didn't think you guys wanted to do this anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so yeah, so that was completely on us, but I show up and I'm all frazzled because I just was in the middle of a sort of disagreement on my phone and like tossed it into my bag, or so I thought, and it was actually the floor of an Uber. The Uber drives away. I start chasing it, and then it's gone, and I go back into first rounds on me to meet Grayson because he has my location. Um, Grayson comes in, he's like, Oh, a lady just yelled at me, and they called me a pervert or something because Grayson decides to wear these jeans that have a hole in the crotch.

SPEAKER_03

I've had these jeans for literally eight years now. Yeah, they have new ones. I have loved them like they are my child. And I literally, when I wear them, I'm very conscious. I don't want to make anybody feel uncomfortable. I do love the jeans, so I sit with my legs closed just like he's about to get hit all the time. Even when I'm not wearing the jeans, actually. It's kind of my general body language. Um and I I don't know if this I do think this woman was not of sane mental health. Because she was she was there and sitting in a corner, and like it was like very there were people that were sitting next to her, and then they moved across because like I don't know why. I just I think she was not very friendly and presenting kind of like a very not mentally sane. It makes two of us call. I get it. But anyways, yeah, she called me a pervert and then that somebody should call the police on me. I think it's because I had a hole in my jeans, even though I was closed legs protecting myself. I don't want to keep you know, I don't want to bother anybody. Um, but yeah, she was just like as soon as I left, she was like, F you and I was like, Alright, so I guess she was.

SPEAKER_01

So you're all shooken up. I we're we're like seeing each other, Grayson's all shooken up. I have no phone. I'm like, Grayson, can you look at my location? And he's like, Yeah, it says your location's here. I was like, check it again. And actually, says I'm a couple blocks out the street. I'm like, Can I use your phone? I chased this car for like two miles. I'm sprinting in a full sprint in loafers. I got the the world's nastiest blister on the back of my foot to show for it, but I'm not gonna show you because I have been um requested some foot picks, so I'm not giving that shit out for free no more. It actually does happen, people. It really does. So I um chase this car around. And also, what pisses me off the most is I took an Uber because I didn't want to mess up my hair for this shoot, and then I'm just running, and it's the it's like 35 mile per hour winds outside. I'm sprinting chasing this Uber, like about to throw up tears flying in the wind.

SPEAKER_03

Like those, I mean we're talking like big ass bulky loafers, like the the ones that have like the really thick soul.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and and I wasn't crying because of my phone, I was crying for a plethora of reasons, but the phone was just the cherry on top. So I get back, and then Grayson's like, by the way, said uh the shoot isn't happening because we're dumbasses, and I was like, No, that's actually perfect. So I sort of have a little bit of a breakdown. The women to our right definitely were like, What's going on there?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, the yesterday was a day of crying for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Did you cry?

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Well, um, so then Grayson was like, How about this? Let's go to book club bar.

SPEAKER_03

And which is uh sorry, I don't mean to cut it.

SPEAKER_01

No, great, great go ahead.

SPEAKER_03

We it was a it's a great place to go where if you like to read, if you like to write, and you like drinking while doing those activities, it's in I think the East Village, and you just show up, you can like grab us the expectation is like you're there to read, so there's not a ton of talking, which is nice, even though that's kind of all we did when we were there.

SPEAKER_01

Gap city. Okay, we played a real good game, we played a um a couple fun games of chess, I beat Grayson, and then um we made some friends. We went to Gap City, but then the Uber was close again with my phone, and Grayson's like, again, the sweetie he is, he's like, Sid, it's close, it's close, sit, I'm close. So I'm sprinting after it again. I go, I leave the book club bar to go chase it down with his phone. He's now phoneless, and um, I can see it. I think that that was like the most painful part was I could see detail of it, and I was like, That's him. I know that's my guy. And um, I never got it. So anyway, so I end up going to a friend's house. I'm like broken down at this point. I have no friends. Grayson's like, Do you know how to get there? I'm like, Thank you. It was like one train, like three stops. He's like, make sure you know how to get there. He's texting my friend, he's like, Did she get there? Okay. And then um Grayson calls the guy and he hunts down my phone and gets my phone and returns it to me at Nina's residence.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, shout out to Nina. Um shout out to the guy for the the Uber driver. I'm sorry, Uber driver. How many times did I end up calling your phone? 24 times. No, yeah. Uh I called her phone 24 times. I had to, I was seeing a movie, and so I as I sit down in this movie, the other lights are off. It's about to start rolling, and I get a call from the guy. I get a call from or I called Sid's phone one more time because I was like, all right, I'm about to take a two-hour break. Like, I don't, you know, I want to make sure I can get in contact with whomever as soon as I can. And so the gentleman picks up and I was like, hey, I think my friend left this phone in your Uber, and he was like, Yeah, I have it with me. And I was like, Oh, thank God, like I can, I'm I'm busy right now, but I free up in two hours. Can I swing by and get it? And he was like, Well, I'm done driving Uber right now and I'm gonna go home. And I was like, Okay, do you live in New York? Yeah, there's there's like schmegma on the mic.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, do you live in New York?

SPEAKER_03

So I was like, Do you live in New York? And he was like, Yeah, I live in Astoria, which is kind of out of the way. Um for the most there, it's not out of the way. There's just not a ton of trains that run over there. And so I was like, Thank God. I got his uh I got the Uber driver's actual phone number because I was like, uh, you know, hey, send me send me your address, give me your actual number so I can like communicate with you in case Sid's phone dies, or in case the person who lost their phone's phone dies. Um and he was like, Okay, that sounds good. Um, yeah, so the movie plays, great movie, it's called Slanted, you should check it out. And I ended up going to like I forget like Ditmer's Astoria, got the phone, went to Nina's, gave it to And returned it to Sender. Gave it to Sender, and that was the no Sid's No Good, very horrible, bad day ending.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and what was really uh the most upsetting was I was supposed to see my nephew, and so like that's what killed me after Grayson probably saw me cry like five times yesterday, but I was looking, I was watching the video and it was just like eerie, like happy birthday, dear Sam, you know. I was like, anyway, it was like the it was one of the worst days of my life.

SPEAKER_03

Are you gonna see family sometime soon?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, now that I'm unemployed, shout out unemployment.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so shout out in the last two weeks. Uh Sid's homeless Sid's jobless. I'm homeless. Yeah. Uh so that's fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

We're going through big changes. Yes, yes, yes. So it's really good. I would going through change.

SPEAKER_03

Change.

SPEAKER_01

I was gonna sing it, but then I didn't because I was like, did we sing too much today? No. No, we didn't.

SPEAKER_03

We don't we don't sing enough. And that's what the comments say every single time.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, so that was a uh a little bit of a crazy day week. Um I'm like, I think I'm going through a little bit of a manic episode in full transparency. Why do you say that? I can just feel it brewing. I went to the gym today to try to run it out of my system by physically running it out of your system? Yeah, yeah. But I have this gigantic blaister well on the back of my foot. So it was like I was just running with like a little limp. I I just feel insane right now. In lighter news, go ahead. Grace and I got asked to do a sex tape together.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so that's kind of fun. So this is how well we present our friendship online is people are like, oh, they can fuck on camera for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And not just and I not even just something sweet. We can't talk too much about the what it's for. It was a really, really cool project.

SPEAKER_03

It's a very cool project with big names attached to it, and there was a specific request for sit and I specifically to get naked. And do an animalistic and literally word for word, animalistic sex scene. Yeah. Um, where we have to like say the script. Oh. Yeah, we say things for sure.

SPEAKER_01

And the thing was, is that Grayson really doesn't want to do it.

SPEAKER_03

I don't want to do it. I don't want to be naked.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, my favorite was he's like, he's like, I'm not, I'm not Evan my best friend. Which I was like, oh on cute. And then um, and then I was like, yeah, I don't think you'd be able to anyway or something. And then you were like, no, I'd be able to. Like you were like, you got defensive about being able to like act. Like I was like, oh, I don't think you'd be able to do it without laughing. You're like, you're like, I wouldn't have a problem with that. Like you got all serious, and I was like, okay, shit. Okay, reverse psychology. So anywho, um, yeah, so we're not gonna do it. Right.

SPEAKER_03

We're not gonna do it. Although we are we do have self-tapes stuff stuff today. Right?

SPEAKER_01

What's today?

SPEAKER_03

Sunday?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, we're doing a self-tape today. Oh, you are.

SPEAKER_03

I thought you had a monologue.

SPEAKER_01

I have I have one that I'm I have I don't have it memorized, but you could still do it up there, too.

SPEAKER_03

I only have two one-line things to do. So perfect.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I have the screen. I have one of those um screens that you can pull up from the ground. It's perfect for anybody that does self-tape related things. Um let us know. I have some beginner's tips.

SPEAKER_03

Let us know in the comments. Holly County. Shout out Holly. Shout out Holly. Shout out Holly.

SPEAKER_01

Um, but yeah, so that's that's that. I'm really disappointed, but it's fine. I'm really so upset that it had to be it has to be like so intense.

SPEAKER_03

So it has to be graphic.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Who do you think would be a better phone sex operator, Mirio?

SPEAKER_03

You have like a I think I may have said this before. I feel like you have a very um voice actor voice. Like it's very smooth. Like you could do the Watch Mojo voice so well. Welcome back to Watch Mojo. Today we're counting down our top ten moments right before disaster that happened on a tour bus.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, let me try that first part. What's the first line? I forgot.

SPEAKER_03

Welcome back to Watch Mojo.

SPEAKER_01

Welcome back to Watch Mojo. No, that's too sexual. Welcome back welcome back to Watch Mojo. No, it's already still too. Just welcome back to Watch Mojo.

SPEAKER_03

Just like project and enunciate.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so yeah, what are we sipping on? I'm sipping on a little bit of Pinot Noir in a brown cup because it keeps me grounded. And Grayson?

SPEAKER_03

I have a glass of Nespresso because I have a long day ahead of me. It's fully.

SPEAKER_01

It's 6 p.m.

SPEAKER_03

6 p.m. Uh I'm going on vacation. So are you. Should we talk about that?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So I'm going to Costa Rica next week. Sid, where are you going?

SPEAKER_01

I'm going to Costa Rica the week after. What?

SPEAKER_03

Are we going to be there at the same time?

SPEAKER_01

No, unfortunately not. Yeah. Grayson's going there before me, and I thought that he was going to do a TED talk, but he's oh, you're not to say who you're going with?

SPEAKER_03

I think I'm allowed to. Yeah, you're allowed. It's yeah. Uh so I'm going with TEDx to talk uh to for the subject of climate change, which is great. Um, of the people that are going. All right. They recruited me because of my occupation. As some of you guys know, I am a He's an environmental engineer. Environmental remediation engineer. Um, did I not say that I am an environmental engineering remediation expert that works in consulting with the emphasis in groundwater management ground in uh stormwater management and groundwater treatment and process system design?

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Speaking of what so Grayson's gonna be in Costa Rica and we're not gonna be there at the same time. So maybe I think when you go, you should leave me a little note somewhere and then I'll go find it.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And maybe you can the note can say how you really feel about me.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. It's gonna be a pretty short note.

SPEAKER_01

It's okay.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna traverse the jungle in Costa Rica.

SPEAKER_01

Because I don't think we're staying in the same place. We're not staying in the same place. However, um I'm very I booked this before I lost my job. Um, so it was a very, you know, um, it was like a spontaneous thing with me and my friend Nina. Shout out Nina and um Nina Count. Nina Count, and now I am sort of regretting it because it's kind of super expensive, but it's gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_03

One thing I will say, and I kind of have talked to you about this before, um, I am a firm believer in money comes and goes, which is not stable financial practice, I will say, but um, I am a firm believer of like if you don't when I first moved to Philly and I had like less than three thousand dollars left it just in general, and my rent was half of that, um I was like, you know what? I'm gonna try and be fiscally fine fiscally responsible and like you know, save money when I can, but like I'm still gonna offer to pay for people's drinks, I'm still gonna offer to pay for like food, because like that's the kind nice thing to do. And I'm like, if I invest that kind of energy into the people I'm around and the world that I'm a part of, I do think that money will return. Still broke. So I agree about that.

SPEAKER_01

I have to because I'm spending all the time. So I don't know if you guys can hear that, um, but I sure can hear. Um so my neighbors are sort of in war right now. So you notice that the door next door is open. Did you see that? And it's being held open by um cans of Hunt's tomato paste. They're at war with one another, my roommates. Do you hear that?

SPEAKER_02

I do.

SPEAKER_01

I'm actually gonna so yeah, um, right now the one roommate is trying to blast the other roommate out by playing music very loud. And the woman that lives there is trying, she keeps leaving the door open so that the dog escapes. She's like hoping the dog runs away, and he's told her that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so there are. They're at war with one another. So the combination of blasting music loud as all hell and keeping the door open with cans of hunts tomato paste is is a recipe for a headache for old Sid here.

SPEAKER_03

Well, here's the thing, roommates, people across the hall. We're shutting the door.

SPEAKER_01

You can talk.

SPEAKER_03

And we know you're listening. So I'll monologue while Sid's gone. We know you're listening. Because you guys, you guys You guys have this big problem, right? You guys are just like really going back and forth, really fighting. Um you guys should just sleep together. That's all you need to do. Like you guys are just like, there's all this built-up tension and aggression in that household. I can feel it in the foot through the walls.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Just bang.

SPEAKER_03

Just bang. Get it out of your system. That's uh that's all you guys want to do.

SPEAKER_01

Speaking of bang, whenever I feel like I'm running low on energy, I always I always can get a burst of energy with b with bang energy.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, or Nespresso.

SPEAKER_01

Or oh yeah, don't espresso people that we actually talk to sometimes.

SPEAKER_03

So shout out to Nespresso. Stuff I'm drinking.

SPEAKER_01

When I am feeling down and I want a little special treat and a little caffeine kick that's gonna send me over the edge. Not like over the edge, like I'm gonna jump.

SPEAKER_03

No, yeah. Backtrack, backtrack, brand-friendly, PR, brand friendly, brand friendly.

SPEAKER_01

I'll have some Nespresso. They didn't also ask us to say that.

SPEAKER_03

No. No.

SPEAKER_01

But we would love if you did ask us to say that.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. So we are doing the podcast version of social climbing where we are begging on our hands and knees for sponsors because I don't know if you guys have picked up on this. Sid doesn't have a job. I'm homeless. So things are not looking good. Nespresso. If you want a little less espresso. Have a n espresso. Through some espresso. Have an espresso. Okay. Yeah. So I like that.

SPEAKER_01

You're really good at coming up with stuff like that on the spot.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, thanks. Well, I'm an improv 101.

SPEAKER_01

So he's so yeah, he's Gwen Classic. I like, yeah. So I'm going to Costa Rica the week after Grayson.

SPEAKER_03

Um, are you doing anything exciting when you're there? I cut you off so much. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01

It's just like crazy because I'm a woman.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Let me back, let me sidetrack real quick for the purpose of I think it's funny. Um during Improv 101 today, we were on a panel uh doing the panel exercise, and it was the group I was with, we were talking about like uh getting men pregnant as like a feminism thing. Yeah. And I I started by like I started my little monologue piece by being like, well, it's important that as the second man on this panel I should speak up about feminism, and then I cut a woman off.

SPEAKER_01

Perfect. And you're so you're so good at playing the part.

SPEAKER_03

It's almost like method acting.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, I'm at war with these folks.

SPEAKER_03

It sounds like they're at war with each other and you are trying to involve yourself. Anyways, what are you doing when you're in coach?

SPEAKER_01

I hate when people fight and they don't include me. I'm just honestly going there for vibes. I'm opening my journal.

SPEAKER_03

Is it kind of like a loose plan?

SPEAKER_01

Like, I'll be loose.

SPEAKER_03

Nina, what are you doing to our girl? You're breaking her down and busting around and ripping things up.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, sometimes I write things that I think could be really funny in improv. Um, like I thought it'd be funny if we were two items in the lost and found bin at a roller skating ring. Okay. But we can do that later.

SPEAKER_03

No, we can do that. I mean, we can do it whenever. But that is a really whatever we want. That's a really funny idea. Genuinely.

SPEAKER_01

Grayson. Remember when you said it would only take two bottles?

SPEAKER_03

Right now it's three.

SPEAKER_01

You really act it gotten more.

SPEAKER_03

I think that you just I saw you cry five times yesterday and I was like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Did that give you the ick? Okay, wait. Does seeing me cry make you more or less attracted to me?

SPEAKER_03

It makes me feel more maternal towards you. Like I just want to take you under my wing and be like give you a little nuggy. Yeah, actually, in a way. You would have to pick the nipple hairs out of your mouth.

SPEAKER_01

Do you have nipple hairs?

SPEAKER_03

I do. Is that something I should? Here's actually a good question.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I saw some discourse on TikTok the other week where it was like men don't realize that they apply deodorant and the deodorant material just sticks to their armpit hair rather than their armpit, and the stench comes from the armpit skin, not the hair. Should I trim my armpit hair so as to better like coat the armpit skin?

SPEAKER_01

I'm pro-trim.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um, and one thing I love about deodorant is that we all know what it tastes like and it tastes bad.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Is true, right? Right.

SPEAKER_03

You're kind of losing me, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Isn't that kind of crazy?

SPEAKER_03

Like, what do you mean? Like what how do you think?

SPEAKER_01

We've all had a little in our mouth. We know what it tastes like, and it tastes really bad.

SPEAKER_03

It yes. I agree. Yes, deodorant does taste bad. And do you prefer the flavor of like the white kind or like when it's the gel kind?

SPEAKER_01

They're both. Well, the white kind is actually despicable. Like it's the worst taste ever. Yeah. You oh, you prefer that one?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I can't remember the last time I tasted the white kind.

SPEAKER_01

Haven't you ever licked a girl's armpit a little and tasted it?

SPEAKER_03

By accident? Sweetheart, the women I bring home, they're not using deodorant.

SPEAKER_01

That's your job. Well, that's good to know. Is that all I had to talk about? Oh, sorry, were you finishing something that you were saying?

SPEAKER_03

No, you still haven't like what you're not you're genuinely not doing anything in Costa Rica?

SPEAKER_01

I'll probably wear a bathing suit for a week.

SPEAKER_03

UV's 11 there. I know you're gonna get real tank.

SPEAKER_01

No, you're gonna get real you I know you're gonna get so burned. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Which I didn't go to the pharmacy today to pick up supplies, so that is going to be a concern. I don't want to have to go to the Hudson News in the frickin' uh Newark Airport and like spend fifty thousand dollars on toiletries.

SPEAKER_01

I know. But we I have I have some sunscreen you can wear.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, I do have one can.

SPEAKER_01

Is that not gonna be enough for you?

SPEAKER_03

I'll be there for three days. Sweetheart, I'm pale. I'm gonna cook through that.

SPEAKER_01

I know, I know. I actually don't think I've ever seen you with a proper tan.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, well, that's good. Um, if anybody wants to sponsor Grayson's sunscreen adventure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

If anybody wants to sponsor Sid, we are accepting donations from LinkedIn. Uh Facebook Marketplace, technically, Craigslist would be a great one. Anything really.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. So, yes. Um, okay. So I did want to talk about this, the man who got kidnapped by dolphins.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so we were talking about this a little bit when the uh cameras shut down. Um, but basically, there's a man that was kidnapped by dolphins, and he was forced to build an underwater, like build underwater architecture for them, and he was underwater for three days. Yes, Grayson.

SPEAKER_03

This is all allegedly. I wish you started out with that, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, allegedly. I love that we even have to say that.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So, anyway, so all of this and moral of the story is that this entire story was debunked by the police there, and they said that, oh, this isn't true, this never happened. But then, allegedly, there were a group of people that said no, they did witness this man, and apparently this is like a thing, and then some girl commented on my video about it and said that allegedly that this is also there's been people that have mentioned this. Um, I was in some part of South Africa, like something about dolphins as well.

SPEAKER_02

Alright.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just saying, dolphins are also the most sexual of the animals. Yes, they are horny and they're very, very aggressive about it, and they are like their brains are closest to ours in the animal kingdom, allegedly.

SPEAKER_03

And for our dolphin viewership. Um because we do have we're gonna lose viewership if we don't at least kind of try and justify behavior a little bit. Um you know, I so my take, your I'm assuming they communicate through clicks.

SPEAKER_01

Hold on one second. Take that to the back.

SPEAKER_03

So for listeners only, Sid is she's essentially making noises like she's giving head.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, no, I've never in once in my life made noise like that giving head. And I've been told by a ton of people that I'm really good at it, including my uncle.

SPEAKER_03

Have you ever talked with a dolphin?

SPEAKER_01

Um no, but I can I have talked to mere cats when I worked at the zoo, and I can also sing to cows. Wait, can I I can can I show you a video real quick?

SPEAKER_03

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, it'll be really fast.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01

Um so so yeah, I I learned that I can communicate to animals, and I know that you're gonna think this is a joke. It's really not. It's like one of my first videos on my phone. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03

So when you when you sing to cows, what is generally their response?

SPEAKER_01

It's like so they come towards me. So I did this a couple times, so I go like oooh, like it's a special, like a cow call, and they'll come to you. Okay, here it is. This is only part of it. Oh, it's a special recommendation. It was like that. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03

And do you do you think that this has like anything to do with a cow's like instinct of like, oh hey, there's a human, maybe there'll be food.

SPEAKER_01

No, because I was standing there for a long time, and then I said I'm gonna learn how to juice, and I would go back every day and I would do my special whistle sing.

SPEAKER_03

Were cows in like eye shot of you? Or did they just come out of the woods?

SPEAKER_01

No, they came out. That's what I'm saying. Uh-huh. And then when I worked at the zoo, I'll show you this, because I I sang to the mirror cats, and they came out. Not of the closet, they came out of their shelter. Oh, wait, this is the one of the turtles fucking. Remember, I showed you this one.

SPEAKER_03

So now the part of the podcast where Sid shows me stuff on her phone.

SPEAKER_02

Which is great for podcasts.

SPEAKER_01

You know what that was like to try and explain to kids?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I feel like kids these days are old enough to know, like, hey, you know what's this is gonna be you and me and our our ourselves.

SPEAKER_01

This is what they send me as inspiration.

SPEAKER_03

This is the audition that we were gonna have to do. And for the listeners only, um, we're watching videos on the phone of bestiality.

SPEAKER_01

So No, bestiality is a person and a and an animal. These are two torties.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so this is these are two. This is the last one.

SPEAKER_01

This is me, this is me getting the mirror cats to come out by singing. Okay, you can't tell, but they were initially all hiding. But I only got the second part of that. Oh, wait, that's the last one. Look. Okay, that was just a goat. And I the goats there, oh my god. Do you know that goats like they don't have con control of their sphincter, so they just like that's why they go potty everywhere? And we do have control of our sphincter because we're predator and they're prey. Well more you know.

SPEAKER_03

So are you saying that if a goat had control of its sphincter, it would use a toilet?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no, but it would the the thing is it would be able to control the situation in which it defecates. So because it goes whenever, it's not like like for us, it's important that we can hold it because we if we're hiding, we don't want to like be like, oh, that we we don't want any way for any um predator to smell us or anything. We can we can hold it, we can control it. That's why. Did you ever notice when you get closer to home, sometimes you'll have to go to potty way more? Yeah, yes, it's because your body's like, okay, it's safe now for us to go. Gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So anyway, that does make sense. Um and this has been another episode of Animal Plan.

SPEAKER_01

Uh I'm trying to think, wait, I like how it says on here, lost my job. Sunday recap, Stockholm Syndrome. That was me to you, actually. Oh, I loved um everybody's freaking out about um Timothy Chalamet now. They're upset.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because of the ballet and um opera discourse. I will say this. I think I think there's a lot of people that are I forget the term for it. Um you know when like people are only speaking on things because it makes them seem like a better person?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Do you what's the term for that?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

There there is a specific term for it, but um, I just feel like it is. Okay, so Sid's gonna fill up another glass of the vino. Um I forget that I really wish I could remember things.

unknown

I don't know like a fucking narcissist or a child.

SPEAKER_03

No, I just think a lot of people are like flagging this as an issue so they can be like, well, opera and ballet does matter. And I'm not saying it doesn't, but I'm just I don't I think in context, if you actually listen to what he says, he's saying he doesn't want he doesn't want cinema to die in the way that ballet and opera have.

SPEAKER_01

And but they haven't. I I think what he said was stupid, he's been saying it for years. There's old videos of him saying it, and genuinely I just think it's like, what is your beef with opera and ballet?

SPEAKER_03

I think the general public is more often gonna go to a movie as opposed like if given the choice, you take any random person, you say, Hey, I have tickets to three things. I have a movie ticket, I have an opera ticket, or I have a ballet ticket. What do you think they're gonna do?

SPEAKER_01

Why are we even conflating, like, well, I don't know why we're we're we're that's what he's doing in the thing. I get it, but they're not even the same thing. That's like just like there are people that historically love b ballet and the opera and orchestra, like more than they want to see a film in cinema, or they'll see both. I just think in what world do we have to compare? Like, it's not like the the um viewers like time we're like quick, you have one option. You can either see the opera or you can go see Morty Supreme, like no one's doing that. I I just feel like it's so weird for him to be talking about it at all, especially considering he's a theater kid and he did ballet. The fuck. Yeah, and as somebody who did a beginner's ball ballet class and got and got demoted to Foundation's ballet, it's a really it's really fucking hard.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I took a ballet class.

SPEAKER_01

You did when?

SPEAKER_03

We've talked about this. I took it with my coworkers in uh back in Philly.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, we should do it together again.

SPEAKER_03

I'd be down. It was actually a lot of fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Would you wear a tutu?

SPEAKER_03

Probably not.

SPEAKER_01

You don't have to. I just wanted to know.

SPEAKER_03

I I would want to feel comfortable when I'm plieing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. That's okay. Okay, font. Not trying to brag, but Grayson's trying to learn French now, too.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you'll be surprised at the the lengths I will go to to get a woman to like me. And that it like me, by the way. No, it's not Sid. Um, it's when I want a woman's attention, I will I will do so many things to show her that I am yearning. Especially a woman that doesn't reciprocate. Does not want me even a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

We I um unrelated to that, one of the or the question that we got when I asked, like this is the one question I said that I actually think was funny. Who would eat who first on a d uh desert island?

SPEAKER_03

I know the answer to this. Who? I would gladly give myself up to you for you to eat me. I if any of my Philly friends are watching, they would say the exact same thing. They would say, Grayson would be the first one to be like, I would probably what I would probably do is I would kill myself without you knowing and leave somehow figure out a way for me to just like leave my body next to you so you would have no choice to either starve or eat me, and you wouldn't have to be like, oh, I don't have to kill him. Because I feel like that would be the one thing preventing you from eating me. Because you would be like, Well, I don't want to have to kill him. So I would kill myself so that you could just have your way with me. Uh is this thing on?

SPEAKER_01

Where would I start? Grayson, I would kill myself so you could eat me. I hope you know that. Actually, or no, you would try to kill yourself, and I'd be like, Grayson, no, and I would grab the knife with my hand and it would be cut and I'd be bleeding, and I'd be like, Oh my god, and then you'd be so hungry, you'd be like, and then you would sniff the blood on my hand, and then you would start sucking it out like Edward clone, and then you would be like, I can't bello, I can't stop. And I'll be like, Go, no, you can have it. You can have as much as you want. And then I would cut your hand, and then I would drink your blood, and then we'd be blood sisters.

SPEAKER_03

Sometimes when you monologue, I get a little scary.

SPEAKER_01

I wouldn't I wouldn't let you kill yourself because then who else would I talk to?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, would you rather starve to death or just have somebody to talk to?

SPEAKER_01

Starve.

SPEAKER_03

No, I guess technically you would starve and have somebody to talk to, or would you just rather I think you could entertain yourself.

SPEAKER_01

No, I know that I could, but I wouldn't want you to die. I would be upset all weekend.

SPEAKER_03

Well, especially now that you have Stockholm syndrome, I wouldn't have to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01

Like I I literally need you. I think you did this on purpose.

SPEAKER_02

Did what?

SPEAKER_01

I think you put me in a position where I need you. So that way, yeah, like with the Uber thing, I don't know. I just feel like there was something that you did to make sure that my phone got stuck in the Uber. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

I thought you meant me taking an Uber to go pick up your phone. I was like, oh, somebody supposed to it was like an hour and 25 minute subway ride. I wasn't gonna do that. It's so hard to get to Astoria.

SPEAKER_01

Grayson, I owe you for whatever that Uber costs. Look, I no, you're not allowed to say all right to me anymore. Alright, alright, alright. My mom has a huge crush on Matthew McConaughey. She'd definitely have sex with him.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so Should we talk about people our moms would have sex with?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Should I ask my mom right now? Can I call her, please? You never let me call her.

SPEAKER_03

You do this every single time. You bring up calling your mom every single podcast. I'm calling her. Do it off business hours.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'm gonna call her and then I'm gonna ask her or I'm gonna tell her about the sex tape. Hi, mom, it's Sid. I know. How are you? I'm good. Um I'm on the podcast right now with Grayson.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Hey, Christine. Hi, how are you? I'm good.

SPEAKER_01

Did I tell you that Grayson and I got an audition to uh to be in this movie that's like for a pretty very serious audition. Um but we would have to do a sex tape. What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Like the audition is a sex scene scene. Is a sex scene, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You're so foolish.

SPEAKER_01

No, mom, I s I s literally swear on Sammy.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we're not doing it because Grayson doesn't want to do it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I I don't I don't like having my bupkiss out, if you get what I'm saying, Christine.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so I get exactly what you're saying. Would you do would you do it? No.

SPEAKER_03

Christine, you wouldn't have sex with me.

SPEAKER_01

The next time that you come to New York, you should. You we should you can meet my my co-host.

unknown

Oh, I think you were saying you should have sex with her.

SPEAKER_01

I appreciate that. Alright, well, that's all the time we have. Thanks so much for calling in.

unknown

Oh no, thank you. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01

All right. I love you so much, Mom. I'll talk to you soon.

unknown

All right. Love you too.

SPEAKER_01

Bye. Okay, well, that was a good one.

SPEAKER_03

Lovely Christine. That was helpful. We got the one answer that we needed out of her.

SPEAKER_01

She wants to have sex with you. It's kind of I felt a little bit of tension in here. Will you like to say that word on YouTube?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I think we can. I mean, we can I I think we can't I think I don't think we can use it on social media, but I think on YouTube, yeah. There's a guy named Kevin, and I only know this because it was on TikTok. Um he posts like full-on nude videos on YouTube under the guise of like I'm educating, like it's an education thing. Like he was like teaching guys how to wax their buttholes. I think his name's Kevin.

SPEAKER_01

It's still on there?

SPEAKER_03

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

That's disgusting. What's the account?

SPEAKER_03

He was like show I'm pretty sure he was showing hole. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, well, so we can we can we can we can talk about boinking as far as I'm concerned.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Alright, well shit. Well, I think that oh, I'm taking an oil painting class tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03

Ooh, that's exciting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I've never done it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay. Do you you do have like an an artistic bug though? Like you do like to paint and draw and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I used to teach painting classes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so like, well, what was the difference between acrylic, not oil. Oh, we're doing nails now? If you went down to the bottom of the sea to do construction for dolphins, show me the receipts.

SPEAKER_01

Show me the receipts.

SPEAKER_03

Have you ever seen on SNL uh Kristen Wig and Fred Armison when they do the the couple's songs, like the couple's album on weekend update? I feel like every time you start speaking when I'm like trying to do something and you want to like mimic or copy what I'm saying, it feels like that bit.

SPEAKER_01

In a good way or bad way?

SPEAKER_03

Well when I'm in on it, good. But I'm never in on it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Should we try it?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so I think we should do improv.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, let's try it. Hey, so this is hats out of the bag minus the hat. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Minus the hat. I think I need to start working on like effects on the video though.

SPEAKER_03

You know what we should do? We should put on our thinking caps.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, ready?

SPEAKER_03

Three, two, one. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I was thinking that I could work at an auto-body shop. Okay. And um, you can be the ghost of my high school boyfriend. And I don't know I don't find this out until halfway through when you're trying to get your car fixed.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so I am a an actualized ghost of your high school boyfriend. And scene.

SPEAKER_02

Hey. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_01

Hey there. What's up, guy?

SPEAKER_03

You know this is gonna sound crazy. I'm having some car troubles.

SPEAKER_01

You look oddly familiar.

SPEAKER_03

Does uh does uh ninth grade biology ring a bell?

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. Ricky Dick. Ricky, first name Ricky, last name Dick, disuhan. From high school. My high school boyfriend, you are.

SPEAKER_03

Out of the scene, out of the scene. You said you weren't gonna know that I was your high school boyfriend until midnight.

SPEAKER_01

No, I wasn't gonna know that you were a ghost till halfway through.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay. Alright. That makes more sense. Okay. I was like, you just you just got right to the end. I want to get over it. Okay. Okay. And back in scene. Yeah, it's Ricky Dick. And I I need you to work on my car. I need you to work on my car real good.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's not the first time I did now, huh? I remember. I remember. So what do you need? An oil change? You got you me to change your blue uh you need a new pair of windshield wipers or something?

SPEAKER_03

Let me can you real quick pop out from under that car, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah, body still looks good.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Talking. Let me see. Speaking of body, let me see the body of the.

SPEAKER_03

So you see that car out there. Yeah. Alright. The one next to the camry.

SPEAKER_01

You see it? Yeah, I see it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so it's a it's a it's a Toyota Sienna. What? Front is busted.

SPEAKER_01

I can see that.

SPEAKER_03

Front windshield gone.

SPEAKER_01

Gone.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Why is it translucent a little? I notice that Duck.

SPEAKER_03

Translucent is because I got a uh custom, I would say, in a word, custom paint job.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Um and yeah, the front's a little busted in and the windshield is gone. And you'll notice the the driver's.

SPEAKER_01

Were you leaning in or was I leaning in?

SPEAKER_03

I think you were leaning in, but I think that's just because you were on the little the like the swivel chair. The mechanics.

SPEAKER_02

The mechanics sometimes go on. Yeah, mechanics. That's me.

SPEAKER_03

And you'll notice that the the driver's seatbelt is no longer there.

SPEAKER_01

What happened?

SPEAKER_03

I got into a bit of a fender bender.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's there's no it's crazy because there's no way somebody could survive that thing. Look at that. Look at that whip.

SPEAKER_03

Well, here's the So you're right. And I thought the same thing when I came to after having part of part of my head gone in the in the crash. But when I came to and I noticed that my Too soon, too soon.

SPEAKER_01

Keep going.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, come on, let's respect the dad, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

The show's kind of mediocre on my right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Hey, sweetheart, don't go to the lookalike contest. You don't look like JFK Jr. Alright?

SPEAKER_00

Um keep going with her again.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So yeah, and I noticed that like after I hit the tree, I was like, my car looks a little bit more clear, a little more see-through. And so I wonder if the impact from the speed, the force of the crash ripped all the paint off. And now it's translucent.

SPEAKER_01

That's never before seen, Ricky Dick. I gotta be so honest with you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So You remember high school? You remember Seven Minutes in Heaven?

SPEAKER_03

Seven Minutes in Heaven at high school in the janitor's closet? Remember that? Yeah, on the second floor next to the math building.

SPEAKER_01

Because I was like, I never seen it before. And you were like, you could do it in the janitor's closet.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I don't mean to hash out all No, no, it's it's fun.

SPEAKER_03

And it's so funny is that they put our lockers in the same locker unit, not next to each other, because that would just be like that's almost like kismet, you know. But the same locker unit, so like we would brush past each other all the time. Like sometimes like I feel it feels like now if I were to go and hug you, I almost feel like I'd pass through you. Yeah. You know, like but that's kind of how high school was. We would brush past each other all the time.

SPEAKER_01

All the time. Yeah, I remember that. I remember because uh you were so you were so good at the maths.

SPEAKER_03

I was good at math.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's what they say in in England they put an S on and don't make noise.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I know. And I feel like with you with math, it'd almost like haunt you.

SPEAKER_01

There's something about the way you're talking to me right now that feels a little bit like very it seems like very punny in a way.

SPEAKER_03

And I it's just coming out of me. Like ectope. Alright, that was a joke. That was a joke. I'm just kidding, that was a joke.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy. Um, you are you you with anybody right now, Ricky Dick?

SPEAKER_03

Um, it just feels like I'm a little lost, you know. But it's I'm glad to see it. You seem to be doing well. Like you see, this is obviously a very successful um like car shop, repair shop. Yeah. And I would never want to bring my vehicle that honestly, when I'm looking at it right now, is it look the the back of it now? It looks like I kiss you, can you at least give me a cost estimate on my car? Like, I mean, you you wanna you wanna you wanna get all up in my business with the city?

SPEAKER_01

Ricky Dick, where's your Where's your car?

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I lost my car.

SPEAKER_01

Ricky Dick, your car isn't even there anymore.

SPEAKER_03

Wait a minute. My feet are starting to go.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. Wait, it seems like my legs are invisible. Ricky Dick, you're losing your dick.

SPEAKER_03

If I if I lose my dick, what am I? Just Ricky?

SPEAKER_01

My listening, and she's like, what the fuck? Anyway, that was really good. That was good.

SPEAKER_03

Thinking caps off.

SPEAKER_01

Thinking caps off.

SPEAKER_03

I almost think we never put them on in a way.

SPEAKER_01

Wait a minute. I think that that was art, some might say. And some might also say that that was the worst thing that they ever had to witness.

SPEAKER_03

So the the people, the the the people at home listening and watching this, they're not thinking that. They're like they clicked through that part, so they just got to this where they're like, oh, okay, it's finally done.

SPEAKER_01

I really want to learn how to make you look like you're disappearing. Do you think I could do that by tonight?

SPEAKER_03

After two glasses of Vino? No.

SPEAKER_01

I've gotten really good at Canva. I think I can do it on Canva.

SPEAKER_03

Do you have you seen the thing that Ben Schwartz does? It's like a TV or it's like a news show, and it's that girl that's like, it's him and that girl. No. I forget her name.

SPEAKER_01

Does that make you think of me?

SPEAKER_03

Well, based on how you've been like uh your mannerisms for this episode, yeah, because you you got that is yeah, I know. She does that. I don't know. It is, you've been going in and out of my ears. That's annoying.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's real annoying. Well, shit. Well, I think that um we've we did this again. We said that this was gonna be a short episode, and this is like over an hour.

SPEAKER_02

You will have uh a kiss.

SPEAKER_01

Sometimes I just like to say things that make you uncomfortable. Do you want to play spin the bottle? Just me and you, sorry.

SPEAKER_03

Um not particularly.

SPEAKER_01

Why?

SPEAKER_03

Uh because I have to do laundry. Sometimes I think that like Sid only thinks that I am friends with her because she has laundry in her basement and I don't I don't have laundry where I am.

SPEAKER_01

And I got running water and I got a bath.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So sometimes it feels there's there's a theme in my life of the men that are in my life that use me for my utilities.

SPEAKER_03

Is utilities like a like a code word for something? Are you implying something else there?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no. I physically my couch, my laundry, and my running and my random water.

SPEAKER_03

I haven't used your running water yet.

SPEAKER_01

That's not true. You've never washed your hands here?

SPEAKER_03

No. You've every time I shit, I get right up at him.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you've also used my toilet.

SPEAKER_03

I don't flush.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Somebody else does. Hey, when you get to the level that I'm on, people flush for you.

SPEAKER_01

I don't even know what that means. Like, that doesn't make any sense. All right, well, guys, thank you so much. Um, that's all the time that we have, unless Grayson has anything of importance to say, but probably not.

SPEAKER_03

Um I'd like to not monologue a little bit, but one thing I think that is very important for us in a period like this, and same thing for if I can get a little sentimental for the people at home. Uh, when you're going through we're still recording. Um, when we're going through moments in life where there's a lot of struggle and a lot of strife and a lot of bad things all at once. It's important to stay positive, not take yourself too serious, and manifest the good. So I would like to take a second to manifest that things will be okay for us and things will be so much better than we ever previously thought. Sid's literally shaking with uh anxiety. I don't know. She's shaking over there. Yeah, she's literally going.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, when Grayson starts to get serious, I don't know what it does to my nervous system, but she just goes into shop. She goes into flight mode. She's like, anyway, um, so I'm Sid and I have Stockholm Syndrome.

SPEAKER_03

I'm Grayson and I'm looking for an apartment.

SPEAKER_01

And where are we flirting? Thank you so much. Thanks so much for for tapping in today.

SPEAKER_03

Go tap that.

SPEAKER_01

We're gonna go do our self tape now.

SPEAKER_03

So yes, we are gonna take our clothes off and say some in the name of fame.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Thanks, Grayson. Thanks for being such a good friend. Love you.

SPEAKER_00

That's all we got.