should men console their girl friends post breakup?

Ayo - we are going to start posting weekly on wednesdays at 1pm EST! 

This week we talk about wealthchella, tax evasion, guy/girl friendships and puberty

Also, we'd love to hear from you! Feel free to email any questions to happierpod@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of Are We Flirting?

SPEAKER_02 0:04

I'm your host, Sid.

SPEAKER_04 0:05

I'm your host, Grace Sid. I'm on one. Shall we get into it?

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Testing one, two, three, testing one, two, three, three, three. Testing one, two, three, testing one, two, three, testing one, two, three. Can you hear me now? Uh but like hold it farther away. Yeah. I'll just put it in my mouth the whole time. Uh pause. Okay, give me a beat.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

Do you what fast or slow?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

A little bit of both. Cold killer. More like weld ciller. I'm at home killer.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

That's why we only drink nuts frets, though.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Yeah. So speaking of uh why do people hate Starbucks?

SPEAKER_04 1:01

Uh there was a couple reasons. So back in maybe one or two years ago, they were donating money to uh a country that was killing an act of genocide. Yes, killing a lot of people, committing an act of genocide. Um and so people were boycotting them for that, and then they stopped donating to that country. And then now people are boycotting them because they are closing all of the unionized Starbucks locations. And so they're anti-union, they're what's called union busting.

unknown 1:35

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:35

Not to bust your balls, not to bust your chops, not to bust it in and get it up but locked.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

I'm bad at that.

SPEAKER_04 1:42

That's okay. You will get better.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Okay. So uh right now it's tax season.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

This is sponsored by Turbo Tax. No, I'm just kidding. It is tax season.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

And my friend, uh, whose name I won't name, um, because I don't know if this is like illegal or not.

SPEAKER_04 1:57

Isabella.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

It's not. It's Holly. Holly Count. Holly Count. Um no, she basically was saying that um with her taxes, because she is a like a freelancer, so she owes like an exorbitant amount at the end of the year, but she found out that she can pay it in like really low installments. I think it's like$11 a month. So she said for the duration of Trump's presidency, she's only gonna do like she's only gonna pay the bare minimum because she thinks that'll be like the price of like one bullet. That's it. So she's she's like, that's a fair trade-off. And I was like, that's actually that's that's a logical ass response.

SPEAKER_04 2:34

I think that's, and then is she gonna pay it all back?

SPEAKER_02 2:36

I've never heard you say that's T.

SPEAKER_04 2:38

Sorry. I'm growing as a person. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

Um, yeah, I don't really know what I guess she'll pay it all back in the next presidency. Okay. So she'll probably owe like only like 50k or something, chill.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

Um speaking of, I didn't uh pay my taxes in time. It's like due in two days. So I had to file an extension. And my parents, they're like obsessed with this tax guy in Idaho, who's also licensed in both Pennsylvania and New York, and he also manages like or does the taxes for like uh um influencers. So my parents were like, You need to go to this guy, and I was like, I can just file him on my own. They're like, No, you're gonna go to this guy. And I so I I emailed him and I was like, When are you available? And he said, May 19th.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Oh. And I was like, After tax season.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

And so his assistant, shout out to Holly Count, um, she was like, Oh, I'll just put you down, we'll file an extension.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

What's her name?

SPEAKER_04 3:30

Lizzie.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Is that triggering?

SPEAKER_04 3:34

Yeah. Uh here's a fun story. Shout out to Lizzie. I'm not gonna say her last name. Um she's not listening to this. Um When it was I think it was like 15 and it was New Year's Eve, and I made out with her.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

How many Lizzie's have you made out with?

SPEAKER_04 3:57

One. Oh! Two!

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Remembering you're like, it's love of my life. That's okay.

SPEAKER_04 4:09

Did you ever hit record? Is that in the Okay. Yeah, it's recording. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Yeah, so I feel like I've been seeing a a lot of of Coachella stuff. I'm I don't really have a desire to go. You kind of do.

SPEAKER_04 4:23

I allegedly. It's not that I have a desire to go. I just and we've talked about this. It's the respect of being invited. And I got invited this year and I said no.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Oh, okay. Right. All right. So but that was because it's I don't want to play dodgeable, I just want to get picked first.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

Yeah, exactly. I just I want to be wanted.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:43

You know? And we can unpack that at a later time. Um yeah. I I did get invited and I I just didn't align with the brand company that invited me, and I was like, nah, I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

You're so noble for that. I'm brave. You're brave. I'm brave. Well, I don't honestly, I feel like it's better that you didn't go because I I don't know what you would have worn.

SPEAKER_04 5:09

I so I've actually thought about this. If I do ever go, it's going to be a plain white shirt with jorts.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

The whole time. Yep. I kind of like the idea of you wearing the same thing every day. Uh, do you know Tiffany Haddish, the comedian? I do. She was um, I watched her an interview of her, and basically she had this one really expensive dress that she got, so she's like, I'm gonna wear the hell out of this. So she wore it to like five different red carpet events. And I was like, that's what we need to be doing. That's funny as hell.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

That is funny. It's um, did you ever hear about Daniel Radcliffe, the boy who was Harry Potter? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

So the man.

SPEAKER_04 5:46

The man. Um he for like I think it was like 30 consecutive days, he wore the same outfit every time he left his house, so paparazzi, because they needed like, oh, an updated picture, but it looked like he was the same person for 30 days in a row.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

We need to start doing that. Yeah, for when we leave and people are like, Oh, it's Sid, oh Sid, oh Grayson, Sid, oh You're you're that person that posted that running video and I got 5k views, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:11

You ran more kilometers.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

That was so mean. I found out how much a kilometer is.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Didn't I tell you that that guy said, or didn't you see my video? You don't even watch my stuff anymore, it's fine. But this guy was like, Oh my god, it took you seven minutes to run one kilometer, and I was like, bro, I'm American. I don't know what that is. How long is a kilometer?

SPEAKER_04 6:32

Uh it's like 0.7 miles.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

It's like 0.62 something, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:37

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Oh! Yep, slow ass motherfucker. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 6:42

I'm I'm also a slow runner.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

What's your mile time? Um what's your mile time?

SPEAKER_04 6:48

If I am I trying to sp like go really fast for one mile?

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Wait, let me set out the scene for you. You're uh middle school. Tell me your middle school crush, quick.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

I don't I don't think I had a middle school crush. My eighth grade year I did not. I did have a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Did you have a crush from your teacher or something?

SPEAKER_04 7:05

Yeah, well when when I in seventh grade I did have a girlfriend. Her name was Jamie. Shout out to Jamie. We did recently have a rekindling, but it didn't go anywhere, of course. She's trying to weasel her way into my family. She works at the same hospital that my brother-in-law is going to work at.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Oh, okay, that's cute. Okay, so Jamie's in front of you. Okay. You're sitting behind her. Okay. You can't stop getting a boner. It's math class. Okay. P. E.'s next. Okay. You're sweaty. You haven't discovered deodorant yet, so you kind of smell like shit.

SPEAKER_04 7:31

I'm sweaty in math prior to PE.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Algebra. That'll do it to you. Puberty. Let me tell you.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

You get to P.E., you're sweaty, you smell a little bit like shit. Like onions and turkey meat. Okay. Because you're sweaty.

SPEAKER_04 7:44

Okay. I did eat a lot of turkey sandwiches. This checks out.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Yeah. And um, you're wearing Adidas shorts and a um a white tank tap that has a stain on it from.

SPEAKER_04 7:56

I would never wear tank tops. I was horribly insecure about how small my own.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

No, the tank taps underneath your shirt that you're wearing because you're wearing layers because you're insecure. Yeah, I don't want my nipples to put it in. You're actually wearing three shirts. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_04 8:06

Okay. Proceed. No, yeah. This checks out.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

There's a stain on mid the middle shirt from spaghetti because your mom made spaghetti last night. And instead of taking off that shirt because you're so insecure, you just put another shirt on top of it.

SPEAKER_04 8:16

Yeah, no, that makes sense. I always did carry an extra shirt in my PE locker just in case something were to happen. Sweat stains, piss.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

So you're wearing three shirts and you're wearing two um you're wearing a pair of underwear and a pair of shorts and running shoes. Jane, you find out Jamie is in she's wants to see you run your mile time in your PE class. So she goes to the the track and your coach is like, Grayson, like you need to run um the presidential mile, which is where like I think Donald Trump he can run like a seven-minute mile or something. So you have to run that.

SPEAKER_04 8:51

I can run a seven-minute mile. I was never good at doing a Trump impression.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

So that's I never understood the presidential um fitness challenge. I'm like, the president cannot do that.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

The president can fit this nutsack in his mouth. Donald.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

DTJ? DJ T.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

DG D. I have dyslexia, so DG D T J What's his middle name?

SPEAKER_02 9:16

What are we, fans? I don't know. So anyway, you're in P. Okay. And um you literally just got a text from your mom.

unknown 9:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Pantech Pursuit. That was the phone I had in seventh grade. So if I when I was walking home from the bus stop, if I ever got kidnapped, I could call 911 and then call my mom. Pantec Pursuit. It's a little green flip flip.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

So it's that phone. Okay. And you get a text from another girl in school that you actually thought was really cute, but you have a girlfriend, so you're like not really pursuing it.

SPEAKER_04 9:45

Okay. My girlfriend's Jamie. Yeah. Okay. And this is another one. So I'm a I'm a whore from in seventh grade. Yeah. Okay. Alright, checks that.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

So she texts you and she's like, Do you like me? Yes or no? If so, hug me in the schoolyard after PE. You get on the track. What's your mile time?

SPEAKER_04 10:03

So what kind of what kind of underwear am I wearing? Am I wearing something tight or something loose? Okay. It's not gonna make a difference. Nobody's gonna see anything, but it is gonna mentally it's gonna play a big, big part.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

It's it's um it's loose because you uh you should have thrown them away, but they're like really worn out. There's a hole in them.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

What where?

SPEAKER_02 10:20

In the crotch. Because easy access. You didn't know that you could unbutton it and it or pull it down to pee, you just ripped a hole in it when you had to go pee through your underwear.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

You know that in boys' underwear there's like a flap.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

You but you didn't.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

Okay. So you ripped a hole. Yeah, no, that makes sense. Okay. Um I will probably with all that which wasn't a lot for me to focus on all at once, I would say maybe like eight minutes, 42 seconds.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_04 10:48

No.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

That's really slow.

SPEAKER_04 10:50

It is very slow. I'm not a fast runner. I've never been. For with distance.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Are you a fast sprinter?

SPEAKER_04 10:56

No, but I wasn't like slow.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

I want to race you soon.

SPEAKER_04 11:00

Okay. I might tear like my ACL. When I was in high, I think I was a senior in high school, I ran like a 4.740, which is not fast.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

4740, what's that mean?

SPEAKER_04 11:09

So 4.7 seconds in a 40-meter 40-yard dash? It's like the NFL combine.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Yeah. 40-meter dash? That's like so stupid. That's a stupid race. That's so short.

SPEAKER_04 11:21

Should we name all races that we hate?

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Do you have another one?

SPEAKER_04 11:25

Um, ultra marathon. I think that's two marathons. That's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

That's two marathons?

SPEAKER_04 11:30

Yeah. 20 what is that? 52 point.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Should we run a half marathon together?

SPEAKER_03 11:37

No.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

I think we should. I think we're talking about it.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Why do you want to you do you want to do everything together? Why is that?

SPEAKER_02 11:43

God for fucking bid that I want to spend time with you. Um, I think it'd be fun to do it together and like to kind of like train for it, and then I think we could communicate to each other through Strava.

SPEAKER_04 11:54

I do want to get into running, and that is a good way to get it by holding yourself accountable with via through an extra party.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

Through a buddy.

SPEAKER_04 12:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Buddy system. Okay. Okay, set up a situation for me now to run a mile.

SPEAKER_04 12:06

Okay. You have to run a mile. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Alright. You are.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Wait, ask me how fast my mile is.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

How fast is your mile?

SPEAKER_02 12:13

What are the s the circumstances?

SPEAKER_04 12:15

Oh. Let me give you a circumstance. Okay. So you are.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

What college did you go to?

SPEAKER_02 12:22

Temple.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

Temple. Did you live at home or did you go, did you stay on campus?

SPEAKER_02 12:26

I stayed on campus. I was kicked out at 15.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

Ooh, alright.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

This matters. Therapy. Oh my god. I told you I went to government mandate therapy and nothing happened. And I went to a place and the whole place smelled like sweaty dog. And I had to go in there and I'd sit with this woman, and then she would ask me every single week, where's your dad again? And I would say, He's in prison. And she'd be like, Where's your mom? And I'd be like, Oh my rehab, Deborah, every single week. And it smelled so bad. Have you ever smelled wet dog, like true wet dog?

SPEAKER_04 12:54

Maybe once or twice.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

It was like that and mold, like black mold.

SPEAKER_04 12:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

So black mold's cancerous. Yeah. You probably got cancer. Literally years left.

SPEAKER_04 13:03

Okay. Literally years. That could be any set amount of time. So you're 21 years old. You're you're you're at Temple. Okay. You are. Did you work in college?

SPEAKER_02 13:14

I worked three jobs.

SPEAKER_04 13:15

Okay. What was your middle favorite of them?

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Middle favorite? I I did taught painting classes.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

And that was your middle favorite? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

So I worked at the zoo. That was my favorite.

SPEAKER_04 13:27

Okay, what was the least favorite?

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Just for I worked at a bagel shop and I would make a lot of breakfast sandwiches.

SPEAKER_04 13:33

Okay, and that was your least favorite.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Yeah, because I had to get up at 4 a.m.

SPEAKER_04 13:35

Okay. So you're at the painting class.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 13:38

You for some reason you decided to have like a Chipotle bowl or something. And you were like, it's gonna be a long day. I'm doubling down on the classes because rent is creeping up on me. Uh because I was kicked out at 15. Um and so careful. And so you're you had a Chipotle bowl at 11 38 a.m. Because you're like, I'm stocking up early, I want to be full, I want to make it through the entire day. And so you it is now 3 37 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 14:13

You all of a sudden have this IBS literally like a pile of just like goo in your stomach, caked up from the Chipotle. There's little pellets of corn because as we all know, they don't be digested. It can't be digested. So you've got little corn pellets and a slile of and a pile of sludge.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Slyle of pudge.

SPEAKER_04 14:38

Slile of pudge sitting in your stomach acid. Um and you're like, alright, so it's 3.37 p.m. This class ends at 3.45. You're wait- you're literally counting down the seconds till you till you can leave, so you can go home and and drop Duke, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:52

So this really sort this kind of happened. Oh, there's a band that always walks outside my house. Is it Irish? Irish would go away. It does that. I don't know what that is.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

That's okay. Maybe they'll hear it, maybe they won't. Maybe this freaking YouTube video gets copyrighted again. We're battling. If you work at YouTube, we're going to war.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

If you work at YouTube, call me.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

I'm Stop copywriting our freaking videos.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Wait, just a quick aside, when I did work at Pain with a Twist, there was one time that I actually did have Chipotle, and I was about to teach a class, and I took a step forward and I shit my pants. And I literally was like, You gotta take this one, Chief. Like I literally was like, I have to go. And it was just, it was like, no, I I had no control over it. Like it wasn't even one of those where you like think it's gonna be like a two, and it's like no, like it just came out and I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

So you turn your legs into a Jackson Pollock. Thought of that as soon as you said you shit your pants, and I was waiting for you to be.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

I need to put the you know how I always say I'm gonna put something here and then I don't every single episode.

SPEAKER_04 15:54

I'm like, oh I can't wait to see this in post. I watched the whole entire YouTube video, I'm like, maybe I have bad connections.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

No, yeah, no, yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_04 16:04

So it is now 346. Somebody stayed after one minute to ask you some question. Meanwhile, you have a load just sitting in your carcass, your your like middle stomach, and you're like, Dog, I'm about to drop pants.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

He's in the the small intestine or the large intestine?

SPEAKER_04 16:20

Sweetheart, that waistline, you only have a small intestine. And that's T. I'm learning. Ally.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Did you just hit on me?

SPEAKER_04 16:31

No.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Oh, she did.

SPEAKER_04 16:33

Oh boy. Trouble in paradise. Anyway. Uh anyway, so it's 347, 346. Uh, this person finally leaves because you're like, Yeah, dude, I don't care. It's open to it's art. You can just, it's, it's expressionism. Whatever you feel comfortable with. And he's like, Oh, thanks. I was actually, do you want to get a cup of coffee? And you're like, I'm bisexual, but I only have boyfriends. So sorry. Um, and so you are now, for some reason, your car broke down, so you're trying to start your car and it's like and so you get out of your car and you're like, How far am I away from home? You're exactly 1.0 miles on the dot, which is 1.42 kilometers. No. What? No, that's not true. If a kilometer is 0.6 something, how much is Yeah, one point it'd be 1.28 miles? Okay. Or sorry, 1.28 kilometers.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Kilometers.

SPEAKER_04 17:31

And so you're like, alright, fuck it. I'm gonna run.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

This is disgust- is this podcast for boys?

SPEAKER_04 17:36

And so now you're sprinting home, what's your mile time?

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Okay, but I'm in pain.

SPEAKER_04 17:41

Yeah. But the pain is feeding into your adrenaline, and so you're pumping faster than you really. You're shitting your pants in this scenario.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Yeah, I've been there. Yeah. 25 minutes probably. Because I'd have to stop.

SPEAKER_04 18:01

You could walk faster. You could walk a mile faster than 25 minutes. So you're jogging and you're slower than walking.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

I wish I could demonstrate it. But it would be like.

SPEAKER_04 18:13

Okay. So for the audio only listeners, Sid Sid looked like she was like.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

You seen Up? You seen the film Up? You know that old guy? You know the old man.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

You're like Mr.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

Do you want to watch that after this?

SPEAKER_04 18:27

No.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

You never say yes to anything I suggest.

SPEAKER_04 18:30

Yes, and.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Can we see the drama?

SPEAKER_04 18:33

Yeah, I actually heard that was really good from our manager. Shout out to Elisa. We know you don't listen.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

That's so funny to say.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

I don't think she does.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Something about so good.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

Okay, listeners. Real quick, Chris Barnes made a video. Chris Barnes made a video about when ice was at uh airports, and it was like the day, literally the day it got announced, and he made a video about it. Super funny, like super, like very punching down on ice.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

I think I've seen this.

SPEAKER_04 19:02

It's it was so good. And it was they're all so quick.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Oh, I love a good I love a good also. I saw ice at the airport when I was there, and it was so annoying. They were like literally just the one guy was like standing there checking people in, and he kept messing up because he was like checking too many people in too fast, and they were like, like, Tom, stop. And he's like, Oh, sorry, my bad. And he was so smiley, and I was like, and everybody just kept looking over him and like shaking their head. And I was like, I just like would not. I don't know in what world you'd like want to work for ice.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

Yeah, it it that sounds like those mafia henchmen that just like fuck everything up.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

They're like, Oh, I'm sorry, Bosh. I should have done a big boss. I didn't mean to do it. Yeah, I listeners, we have a question for you.

SPEAKER_04 19:44

Listeners, we have a question, and this involves uh take it away, Sid.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

Okay, listeners, we have a question. If a man goes to hug you, Grayson asked me off camera before this, if a man goes to hug you and they put their hand demonstrate on me.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

Like hand on the back of the head, like in a hug, like that. For the audio only listeners, I am hugging Sid. She's smelling my armpit. It smells good, actually. What is that? Irish Spring? It is. Um, and my hand is on the back of her head in a very like you know, I don't like a You've never touched me that long.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Grayson was comforting a friend. He had his hand on the back of her head. You know what? Similar to Erica Kirk hugging JD Vance. Wait, yeah. Actually, just like and he's curious if that is a problematic way to hug a woman.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

Hug a hug a friend.

SPEAKER_04 20:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

Yes. So a female woman that you've hung out with like a numerous.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

Well, hey. Let's not use the female word.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

A female woman, I say.

SPEAKER_04 20:44

A woman is a woman.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Um so anyway, uh, let us know if you think that that's inappropriate. I think not. Also, we you have some really great listeners that literally will be like, hey, you asked a question at this part. This is my opinion on this.

SPEAKER_04 20:58

We do actually read the comments, so please comment. Like, that's my favorite part is seeing how you guys interact with the episodes. I don't know why this is. Maybe there's one thing that's changed since I had a solo pod to now, but in this in the solo pod, I would get like 30 comments a video. Guys, we're still here. We read them. We do.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

We brought you down.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

No.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

Just say that.

SPEAKER_04 21:19

No. I mean, statistically speaking.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

I did have a Yes, but emotionally speaking, no, God.

SPEAKER_04 21:27

Sorry. I did have a really funny idea for when one of us can't make the pod, and I'm gonna surprise you with it eventually.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

Because you know I'm not gonna be able to make it.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

Well, no, if I can't make it, you'll I'm also gonna get something for you to do in my in my stead. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

I'm really excited and scared.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

Yeah, I think you're gonna like it's gonna be a super funny bit. It's gonna take a lot of effort, but it's gonna be a super funny.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

So I'm gonna have to do it because I have to edit. I think we should do impressions. Okay. Okay, ready? We're gonna make a song because I'm gonna put something in the background. Oh, yeah. Impression time. Do with me. Impersion. That was kind of good. I think you can go lower though.

SPEAKER_04 22:07

Impression time.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Yeah. Okay, that was weird and rough and rough. Okay, um, yeah, so I I'm gonna close my eyes.

SPEAKER_04 22:18

Okay. You probably don't know who this person is.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Oh, do you remember or Kermit the Frog?

SPEAKER_03 22:23

I do, yeah. Kermit the Frog. That's actually the impression that I was gonna do today.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

That was like a little throwback. That's actually kind of cute because that was like a much flirtier episode.

SPEAKER_04 22:33

What?

SPEAKER_02 22:33

You didn't think so?

SPEAKER_04 22:34

No. We called your mom.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

That doesn't mean anything. My mom has literally seen me have sex. Not like that. She's opened the door at the same time. What? Like I'm saying, it's just like my mom being there isn't like gonna make it more or less sexy.

SPEAKER_04 22:51

I have a really embarrassing story one time. I wish it was that my mom like walked in on me having sex.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Okay, I've never seen any. I'm clipping just that part. I wish that my mom.

SPEAKER_04 23:02

I was uh I couldn't have been older than like 14 or 15, and I would just start getting pubic hair. And my mom walked in on me looking at my pubic hair, being like astounded, and she was like, What were you doing? And I was like, Nothing, get out!

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Yeah, that's the worst. Wait, you know what's funny? I was just talking about this last night. Um, like things that you do when you're going through puberty and you don't know that's happening yet. Like I used to hump everything, like I would just grind up on things, and if a if a pillow like this was more stiff, perfect. Okay, like a that was the perfect thing to grind upon. Because this would be too soft. Munch your I was a child and another thing, because you know how I told you I have the special pelvis?

SPEAKER_03 23:46

No.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

I didn't talk to you about this.

SPEAKER_05 23:48

No.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Okay. Tell me, women, if you have this. I have a special pelvis where like if I do a certain amount of like crunches or like leg throws, I you can orgasm.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

Yeah. My ex-girlfriend had this. Shout out. I know you don't, I know you don't listen. Yeah, no, she's kidding me. Although, not scary. I don't know. Okay. Um Yeah, no, I've I've actually heard that from multiple women that they if they work out, especially with like ab-based workouts, you can get yourself to the finish line.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Yeah, I thought that I had a disease, and so I the first time I jerked off wasn't until uh college. And what I would do is I would watch Um Jennifer's Body. Because I love that one scene from Jennifer's Body with Megan Fox and Amanda Seifried making out, and I would do leg throws.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

I don't know what I'm doing when I get on. Uh ooga. So you could make yourself you can make yourself come with a with a 15-minute ab workout.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

I would throw, I would do leg throws while watching like this is how you can tell. I'm just like I come from a traumatized like Catholic background. I didn't like ever try to actually like masturbate, masturbate until like that was that was my version of masturbating. I was like 20 years old and I'm doing leg throws watching Jennifer's body on like the scene on YouTube, like that one makeout scene over and over again. Psychopath behavior. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:19

Or did you get like really good abs by doing that?

SPEAKER_02 25:21

Yeah, I was so fit.

SPEAKER_04 25:22

Nice.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

I gotta get back to that. Anyway, what are we talking about? Oh. So I'm gonna close my eyes.

SPEAKER_04 25:29

Do you know who?

SPEAKER_02 25:31

No, don't have to guess.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

I mean, I don't think you're gonna know who this guy is. It is kind of a niche impression that I own.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

It's like your one weird uncle that I've never met.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

This is Tyler. He works at a mechanic shop. No, it's uh it's a it's a niche impression that I didn't know I could do, but I learned it from through somebody else doing the impression from Saturday Night Live.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

Okay, can you do it? And then I'm gonna close my eyes. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 25:55

And then afterwards I'll tell you. It is actually accurate. So uh, but yeah, go ahead. Eyes closed?

unknown 26:02

They're closed.

SPEAKER_04 26:04

You know, that's just great. I gotta be honest with you here. I just think this podcast idea that you guys are doing, I think it's gonna do really well for you guys. And I gotta be honest, I think I this whole setup where you guys are on a couch, you're just very comfortable. And I gotta be honest, I think that's just great. You don't know who that is. So it's uh it's Alan Alda, if you know who that is. He's from MASH. Bill Hayter does a really good Alan Alda impression.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

But I don't know what that is. And I don't know if I I kind of did love it. It was sort of comforting.

SPEAKER_04 26:33

Have you ever seen uh what's it, Tower Heist with Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick?

SPEAKER_02 26:39

No, but I know Eddie Murphy from that one movie with the animals.

SPEAKER_04 26:43

Oh yeah. Um Norbit. Sounds good. Yeah. No, it's not. It's the one where he plays a fat woman and then obviously a nerdy version of Eddie Murphy.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Oh my god, I haven't seen an Eddie Murphy movie in so long. He hasn't done much. Can you tell me what this tattoo is behind your arm, real quick? The one I've never seen. Yeah. Can you pull it up for the viewers? And then for the listeners. For the listeners, with a cross on the side.

SPEAKER_04 27:06

There's a shield, it's like an Irish thing? It's a Swiss Army symbol. Like from the Swiss Army knife?

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Why'd you put it there?

SPEAKER_04 27:12

Me and my high school friends got it together.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Do you regret it? No. Let me see it. It just that why does it say BH under I'll tell you after.

unknown 27:24

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 27:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

No, those siblings or sorry, siblings? Those initials are the initials of my favorite X.

SPEAKER_04 27:33

Your favorite X? Yeah. What if it is your favorite X?

SPEAKER_02 27:36

Can I see it again? I don't even know why seeing the initials is kind of sad. I did not know you had it there. How have I not seen that? Well, I feel like Oh god, what if this is a sign?

SPEAKER_04 27:47

Reach back out. If I wasn't blocked, um Yeah, no, all me and all my high school friends, we got the same tattoo pretty much in the same spot.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

I uh oh, I'm dying to know what the BH stands for, but we'll let it roll. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:01

Let the good times roll. It's just really sad.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Someone died.

SPEAKER_04 28:05

Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Okay. Oh, I gotta cut that part out. Sorry. Anyway, um I c if you're noticing that there was a quick shift, it's because I cut that part out. Um because Grace and I had to go cry together.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

Yeah, we're crying over her ex name God.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:26

And we know you're watching.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

He's definitely not watching. Why?

SPEAKER_04 28:30

Because he's in jail. No, just like all your ex other exes?

SPEAKER_02 28:33

No, none of my exes are in jail. One should be. The rest no. This is a really good guy. And he has a really good band.

SPEAKER_04 28:39

Drive, drive. Shout out to Rihanna. Wonder what she's up to. Probably having another baby.

unknown 28:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:44

Ri-Ri, we want some music.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Yeah, seriously.

SPEAKER_04 28:46

Why you gotta be so selfish raising a family?

SPEAKER_02 28:49

And and guess what? Yeah, that Super Bowl halftime show. Yeah, how about you actually dance, but not too much, where you look like a slut, just enough that we're more entertained. Because even though you were pregnant the whole time, you could have shook a little more ass. Yeah, that's what it's like to be a woman.

SPEAKER_03 29:05

You just Oh, is that what people were saying about her?

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Okay, I was like, uh, why would you say this? This is an interesting take. But that now makes sense, okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Do you want to hear my impression now?

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Yeah.

unknown 29:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Close your eyes.

unknown 29:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Okay, ready? What? Who is that?

SPEAKER_03 29:23

One more time, please.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Alright, ready, close your eyes. What? What? Wait, what?

SPEAKER_03 29:32

A parrot after learning one word?

SPEAKER_02 29:34

One second, ready? What?

SPEAKER_03 29:38

What?

SPEAKER_02 29:40

I don't Okay, think friends.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

I've never seen it.

unknown 29:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:45

Jennifer Aniston. Yeah. Are you actually?

SPEAKER_02 29:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 29:52

Dog, I'm a freak. Kind of like viscosity. Is it gonna be? So disgusting. Yeah, guys, this we're freaked out on this episode. Shout out to my supervisor. They're just talking about spitting my mouth. Nah, I don't want you to do that.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Do you know what I'm saying? Like you have a hand in the front, a hand in the back.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

We don't have to this doesn't have to be a like a visual learning thing.