Extra-Marital Affairs?! Let's Talk about it...

In recent news everywhere, there are plenty cases of Extra-Marital Affairs news being brought to limelight. So the question is..... Why?

Why do Men/Women cheat? What were they thinking? What are the reasons? Let us talk about this...

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to this episode. This episode consists of some sensitive questions. Okay. Let me just ask this question. How is marriage life to you between you and your wife nowadays?

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Are they okay?

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Tiring with kids, but still okay. Okay. Why do I ask this question is because there are many cases now online with uh extramarital affairs. Okay? One of the more prominent cases is the coplay concert affair between two high-profile individuals from a company, okay, which I shall not name. This one can be easily found on the internet. Okay. And for Singapore also, two high-profile individuals I shall not name as well for an organization, not a company. Okay, having uh marital affairs. Yes. Okay. So why do you think men cheat? Men and woman, both. But there are men, men got different reasons uh for cheating.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

I think both sides got different reasons. Yeah. So for usually, since we are guys, we talk about guys' side. For guys, I think usually it's the one of the reasons I feel is the lack of intimacy between the guy and the partner. Okay. And other than that, sometimes it's the it's not about lacking of intimacy. I think it's the feeling the partner give or how far the partner is willing to go. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Then for women, what I can see would be the insecurities. Probably the insecurities that the woman feels. That's why women cheat. Maybe they can find uh uh seek more securities in other men.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Maybe, or sometimes also the lack or intimacy because it goes both ways. Not all guys have high needs, and not all girls got high needs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Yeah. Okay, so we will explore out uh this sensitive question. Okay, we'll try our best because for us we don't cheat, so I don't know. Don't know. Okay, so yeah, we'll start this. This is Ryan, this is John, and this is Let's talk. Okay, for the case uh of copy concert, okay, there were sources on news or even the the the statement come up from the individual saying that the affair is not really an affair. Yeah, because the woman and the husband, the original husband, were really fouling divorce and they were separated, yeah, and they were separated apart for for quite some time now. But what about the man? Actually, I don't see much uh news uh stating about the what happened to the man. Yeah, but it the whole entire uh saga is during the copy concert. They were just what is it called a kiss cam? Or maybe a camera that shows the crowd. And just so happened, the male and the female were hugging each other from the back. And it was captured. Once they spotted the cameras, was actually video recording that uh the two of them uh saying they hide one of hiding, like yeah. Then after that, news broke out saying the both of them were actually married not to each other, but separately to their own other partners. And that's where the saga came out where the two were dismissed from their their the the company, okay, the two of them are actually on a very high position. Yeah. So why why the affair?

SPEAKER_03 4:44

I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Yeah. And in Singapore, uh two very significant high-profile individuals, okay, were also caught with having an affair after 15-second video went viral and surfaced on social media, showing that the male was holding and stroking the female's hand at a restaurant. And at that time, the two of them were married as well with other partners, not to themselves. And after this news has been breakup, the both of them had to resign from the organization after initially lying about the extramarital affair. So why do people cheat? From certain sources that I saw, okay, from a psychological point of view, it is the lack of respect, the lack of appreciation and the feeling of unlove.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

And seeking validation for someone else actually makes them feel more needed and important. Is it true? I don't know why.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

We don't we don't know.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

No, I think you can you can talk about, okay, if let's say in one day you feel underappreciated, unloved, your partner, your wife, doesn't really care about you. What you do, uh she don't feel appreciative. Okay? Uh you don't you don't you don't you don't feel you're important to her anymore.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

Actually, I do have I actually I do have that kind of feeling because after the after having kids, her priority became the kids.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Yeah, but you'll still be the important wife because you're the father of the kids. What I meant was, what if even having the kid, the wife is not taking responsibility or maybe not taking the importance for the kids. Okay? Or maybe she's spending too much time outside and neglecting your feelings.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

I think I think regardless of spending too much time outside or spending more time with the kids, because regardless of guy or ladies, we need the emotional support from each other as a partner. Right? So I think uh regardless of the partner, whether it's a guy or a girl, spend more time outside for work or whatever reasons, or spend more time with the kids. End of day, there should be still time for each other. Yes. So when when there's a lack of this, right, I think it's important to voice it out. To talk to a partner. Instead of just going to cheat.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Okay. Let's take an example of a woman that chipped. There was actually a news in Singapore as well. A great delivery partner. Okay, he works day and night. Yeah. And he earns about$5,000 per month. And all the money was given to his wife. So he doesn't, he only kept certain necessities. Some money for uh for his own needs, like his food, his petrol, because he's a bike rider. Uh yeah. And he spends so little time at home. But the catch is here. The man thinks that he he spends so much time outside because he wants to earn more money to support the family. Because the wife is not working. Okay, he has given all his money, he doesn't really keep up much to himself, and give to his wife for her to spend, for her to so-called make the home. Okay. But the woman actually cheated on him with another guy. So here comes the the the question here. Why did the woman cheat? Firstly, is it because uh the DV rider actually earns too little money? No. Okay, it's mainly what what what what what the sources say is it's mainly because he spent too little time at home to accompany her that she feels lonely, lonely, unloved, okay, is insecure, she needs someone to accompany her. That's why we found another guy who is always with her. Okay, got a job, got a stable income. Not say very rich, okay, but just so happened that he is able to make time for her. That's why she cheated. Now, is it fair?

SPEAKER_00 10:11

I will say I won't say it's fair or unfair. Personally, my take is if you are in a marriage or even a normal relationship, cheating is wrong, regardless of the reason. If you if you feel unloved or whatever, you could end the marriage before you get into another relationship. Alright, makes sense? Yeah, makes sense. Yeah, so for me, I always uh personal take is cheating is wrong regardless of the reason. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Okay. So in that case, it's mainly because of the time that uh men are unable to provide. But he he does his part to provide for this family. So there are many debates on whether it's uh okay, cheating is definitely wrong. But the debate saying that whether the cheating is caused by the man or is it caused by the woman? Firstly, the man makes too little time. Okay, he focused on earning money and he neglected uh his wife. So is it the man's fault? Or maybe the woman's fault for her to feel that uh because you spent so little time with me, I have to find someone else.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

I think both parties are partially at fault because I'm not sure whether they tried to communicate. Yeah, if the wife had voiced out that hey, I need a I need more time with you. Can I work lesser? Then maybe they have some communication or discussion on how they can make do with lesser income and more time together. Or maybe ask the wife to go work. Yeah. Then the wife won't be feeling feel so lonely at home most of the time because she has something to keep her occupied from morning to the evening. Yeah, and then maybe the guy can work lesser hours, then they have some time together. This is a possibility, right? Yeah, true. So that's why I say it's both partially at fault if they never never communicate. Or if the guy has a solution, when the wife voices out, but the wife doesn't like it. So the guy had no choice but to continue working long hours to support the family. Yeah, I would say it's the wife fall out. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Okay, and there were another. There are many, many different cases. But this is this case actually intrigued intrigues me, huh? Malaysia. Okay. There was a video of a Malaysian man who took to the social media to expose his wife of an elite affair.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Okay. He called his wife of 10 years. Okay. Cheating with a doctor. 10 years? They are 10 years of marriage, huh? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

10 years of marriage. Okay. Okay. Cheating with a doctor in a BNW car. So they were having a fair in the car? Yeah. The man was actually still dressed in scrubs.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

It's not a scrap. It's not some kind of play, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Yeah. Yeah. Initially, uh this man actually felt something was wrong, especially after his wife started spending more time outside. Okay. But he was shocked that the wife actually cheated on him with a doctor who is reportedly also married. What's with people having an affair with another person who is also married?

SPEAKER_00 13:59

I don't know. Do you understand, right? Yeah, you usually, from what I know, usually cheating cases is usually a married couple with a third party. But recently I have been seeing a lot of news or heard a lot of news is always a married couple.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

And the funny thing in this case is, okay, the guy, the husband, asked why the doctor was actually destroying another person's family when he already knew that his wife already had children. And to the husband's surprise, the doctor told the husband not to touch the woman since they were already divorced. And the funny thing comes here. The husband actually replied, Since when did we get a divorce? Is it on paper? They were not divorced. So so the woman actually told the doctor, the one that she's having an affair with, say that she's divorced. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Like what the hell, right? So technically, the doctor is wrong for cheating on his wife, but he's not wrong for because in his knowledge, he's having an affair with a person who is divorced, not married. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Yeah. And then after this thing happened, what comes next is the husband post and he pull out a photo of a divorce document. So let the woman have a dream come true, like really divorce her. Yeah. So why? Is it the sexual frequency now?

SPEAKER_00 15:57

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Or is it the monetary monetary temptation?

SPEAKER_00 16:03

I think all plays a part, depending on what the person is lacking. Okay? Because if you if you think you will see all those high-profile individuals that we spoke of, they were making quite decent.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Both of them actually were making quite decent.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Yeah, but it's too cheap.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Yeah. So in the Malaysian man cases, okay, the the the wife found a daughter. That's number one. Wow. Daughter earned a lot of money, yeah. I don't know how Malaysian daughter was like. And he drives a BNW. Then you're like, wow, this guy rich. Can have an affair with. You have an affair with a guy that drives a BNW. You might as well find a fine find someone that drives a Mercedes or a Bentley or something like why BMW? Yikes. Okay, so in one of my search online, sexual dissatisfaction. Okay, a decline in sexual intimacy or lack of sexual chairman shape can be a significant figure or factor that leads to extra marital. Yeah. So, how often have you had sex?

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Very sensitive question, you know. Yeah, it's a very sensitive topic.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Yeah. Yeah, to be very honest, I have sex maybe once a month. Yeah, I'm not that sexual active, I'm old really. Yeah. But to me, it's I don't find myself to have a the high desire or high uh sexual desire. Okay. What may constitute to me cheating would be I don't really know. Maybe if I found out that my wife doesn't accompany me anymore, doesn't show concern anymore. The two of us go too wide apart. Or maybe not too much. I don't know. What would be the what would be the if you are listening to this, help us in this. Why do people cheat? Because really, is it temptation? Is it really the kind of a temptation or is it an immature thought?

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Not really sure, but for guys usually from what I read and understand that I found online, I I feel for guys usually it's the sometimes we won't ask certain things of our partner at home the way we want it. But some guys they cheat because they're able to ask whatever they want with that partner outside. So you cannot communicate with your partner at home.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

So now it's not communication, so now it's you you you is it really the kind of a communication breakdown between you and your partner? Or is it because you and your partner have been known have known each other for too long that you have zero topics anymore to talk about?

SPEAKER_00 19:41

I think it depends. Some guys they can be very loving husband, father at home, but they still cheat outside. Because of I think sometimes uh what people look for when they have a high limbo is the thrill factor. The thrilling factor.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Yes. People the the guy actually uh like the the this kind of a taboo adventure kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Is it uh sometimes I I think that is one of it. I think another one is certain, maybe certain positions or certain actions or place that they won't ask of their partner, they are they are able to ask. Yeah, I found this, huh?

SPEAKER_01 20:26

The thrilling factor, the excitement of the hunt or the taboo nature of a secret affair can be the major driver. Particularly for those who are bored with their routine life. You earn too much money, you don't know what to do. You find trill in having a mistress or to splurge on to spend money. I find stupid or is it the kind of uh the validating your masculinity? Alright. Maybe you're an old dude. You go out, you're seen hugging a model. Okay, by the way, spending, splurging, uh LV bag, Hermes bag, Chanel bag, everything. Then the men can boost their self-esteem. And they confirm that they still have it. Even though I'm old, I'm bored, like no more hair really, or hair very white really, but I'm still rich. I still have it. You see? I spend woman calm. Yeah, but this is all happened in the movie. I don't know whether it hatch a life, it happens.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

I don't know, in my I'm not very sure, but I f if personally I find it quite stupid because if I have the money, then I'd rather spend I mean you got nothing to spend now. If I have the money, I'd rather spend on my wife buying her new bags, new shoes. Maybe because uh the the the wife was so old already, that's why. Possible, possible, that is one possibilities. Yeah, but I think another one is the desire for variety that I speak of. Correct? Like they like to have a new partners because new partners sometimes will also give them new type of sex. Sing siang. Uh maybe. Uh new fresh, fresh feeling.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Fresh feeling, like how you how you have it with your wife last time, but now don't have baby, then you find another another woman to have that car.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Okay. But this for the men's side. So for ladies' side, actually, we not very sure, but maybe we can.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Okay, but there were also cases where it's not an extramarital affair, but the husband actually lied. Okay, in this case, happened in 22.5 last year in November. Okay, during the Hat Tai, you know, the Thailand board, the border of Thailand called Hat Thai, having an emergency whereby the whole entire places got flooded. Yes. Okay. The wife caught the husband in Hat Thai after receiving live location during flood emergency. So what happened? The man initially told his wife that he was traveling to KL, Kola Long Po for a meeting. Okay? But in reality, he had crossed the border to Hata to ease his mind with friends. What do you mean by ease his mind?

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Which mind?

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Which hit? Yeah, which it. Which mind? Okay. So we don't know.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

Okay?

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Because Hata got many things to do. You can ease either the bottom head or you can ease the upper head with all the casino. Okay? So his plan took an unexpected turn when the the motel, the chip motel that he was staying in, you see, you go travel, you still stay in this kind of cheap motel, okay? Began to flood. Okay. Yeah, due to the continuous heavy rain in the area. Yeah? That's not all. His cover was blown when he accidentally, I don't know how accidental it can be. Shared his life location with his wife. Okay. Showing that he was at a motel near the Hatai floating market.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Okay. Stupid, right? Yeah, very stupid.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

So he told his wife that he's going to Kuala Lompo for a meeting. But instead he went to Hattai to spend holidays. Yeah, ease his mind, to spend his holiday. And he still shared his life location accidentally to his wife.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

And that's not all.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

He even told his wife prior to the accidental uh the accidental mistake. He told his wife that oh Koropo also flooding, so he cannot come back home. He cannot leave the location. Like KL got no flood. It only happened in Hatar. You lie until I know it's almost a life location.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

It's a live location.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Okay? So according to the post on the Cinna Daily, okay, is uh Malaysia Malaysia news. Yeah. The wife said she she she had already suspected something was off after noticing the clothes her husband packed. There are no beach in Kuala Lopo. Kuala Lopol is like a city, it's a central area. But the husband packed summer clothes. Beachware.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Beachwear. Can I go for swimming pool man? Huh? Swimming pool also can wear beachwear, what?

SPEAKER_01 26:18

I don't know. But now the the the husband can use it really because he's he's in the flood. Okay? So I don't know. Would you would you would you have lied to your wife in order for you to go somewhere to ease your mind? The upper mind, not the bottom mind.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

I don't know. Just tell the truth.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Would you have told your wife that you you are going overseas for a uh uh a business trip, but instead you went overseas to no side see, have a solo somewhere to I think if you if you have been true to your wife on what you are going into, then there's no need to lie.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

Yes, so and on day a lie.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Okay, so what happens here? There may be certain few factors, but what I see is maybe or possibly the wife is the type of person that will nag at the husband. If let's say the husband wants to go to Hatay for a holiday with his friends, maybe the wife will want to take along, or maybe the wife will tell him why why why why why don't he bring the whole family go there together?

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Or it's not about going inside.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Yeah, go to Thailand. Yeah. For certain few guys, like they want to go uh on a on a solo trip, yeah, on a holiday. Okay. Uh it's not for sexual pleasure or sexual desire. Probably they just really just want to take a break. Yeah, they want to take a break from work, they want to take a break for family. What do you mean by taking a break for family? Don't want the financial burden, you know the financial burden that a guy has at home.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

It's not about financial, it's more of an emotion and emotion tireness, also.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

Yeah, it's it's like it's it's like a trip to have a have a to drop down everything.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Just be stressless, carefree for that few days. Yeah. Without worrying anything at home.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

So he could have been honest with his wife, saying that he really needs to have a solo trip or a trip with his with his friends, okay, to so-called let go. Yeah, have a have a short let-go. Those that actually help improve uh uh one person's mental health. Yes. Yeah, sometimes every everybody needs this kind of solo time.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

And sometimes it's not only helps in the personal mental health, sometimes it helps in the marriage itself also. Because when you are a part, then you will feel more appreciative of your partner at home sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

Okay, okay, last but not least, this one happened in 2022. This one I find very funny. Why? This is the most funniest cheating case that I saw.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

The wife actually caught the husband with a mistress at Singapore airport.

unknown 29:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

What happened here, uh? Imagine not knowing where your husband is for six months. Six months. Six months. Okay. But only to find him returning from a trip with his mistress.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

But wait, wait, wait. They are married for six months. They are married for I don't know how long. But the wife doesn't know where the husband is or was at for six months. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Remain uncontacted, huh?

SPEAKER_00 30:18

That's super long. Let me say one, two days understandable. Or maybe.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

I'm very surprised that I don't see, I don't single uh person missed the missing person passed. Yeah, for six months. Okay. That was an unfortunate reality for the wife who claims her husband cheated on her while after busting him at Singapore China Airport. Okay? So this is a viral clip. This is a video clip, huh? Okay, you can find it on on the on the internet, on the social media, or even the news. This one is a news for Australia. I know how come Australian news can report Singapore news. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

I think because it was already happening.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Yeah, so in the clip, the furious wife can be seen confronting her husband at the iPod as he walked through the arrival gate, hand in hand, with another woman. And the two of them were actually wearing copper oversea t-shirt. You always got a Thailand white-color t-shirt with a cartoon cartoon. The guy with a flower, the girl with don't know what. Oh my god, that is so childish.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Maybe they were they were thinking it's cute or lovely to wear it together.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Okay. And when there's confronting, uh, the mistress actually were like stopping the two or there, like, what happened, what happened, what happened, what happened?

SPEAKER_00 31:48

So does the mistress know that she was in it?

SPEAKER_01 31:52

Apparently, yes. Yes. Okay. Okay. So the woman actually said, excuse me, I'm talking with my husband. Who are you? Before the most before the mistress walk off. Six months, you know. Six months uncontacted.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

I I don't know why, but sometimes when I read all this on news, right? I feel like I'm watching a drama.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

Still at the arrival gate, uh, the wife continued to uh berate her husband in front of all the onlookers at the airport, demanding him to answer where he went, where he was, as he accused of uh him of neglecting her and their four-year-old son. Excuse me, six months missing. You got one wife and a four-year-old child.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

I can't imagine not speaking to my kids. And they are still legally married, yeah. I can't imagine not speaking with my kids for more than one, two days apart. Six months.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

And how he went missing for six months, huh? Okay, how he went missing for six months, huh? The husband actually told his wife that he was going to see his dad, his father in Malaysia.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Oh, so the guy was a Malaysian. Or the father moved to Malaysia. Probably.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Okay. So the husband told his wife that he's going to Malaysia to see his father. But then the man's father called the wife asking where my son is, huh?

SPEAKER_00 33:49

Where's my son? He never come visit me. No, in the first place, did the father know the son is visiting or not? That's a very big question, right? Maybe the father just out of curiosity, hey, why my son so long never contact me? Ask the wife.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Where's my son, huh? And somehow, the wife is a full-time housewife since the birth of their son. So she got no income. How she survived six months, yeah? I don't know. You see, six months, no income. No contact from the husband. The husband just disappeared. I don't think. Only to find out that he went on a trip with the mistress.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Don't tell me they were on a trip for six months.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

I don't think so. I don't know. Yeah. Come on! Six months. And from the news I see now, the husband and the wife has been together for 11 years. And during the the confrontation at China Airport, the son was there. Oh, where do you go?

SPEAKER_00 35:03

Six months, I cannot imagine that.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

How no video call. Contact number cannot be contacted. Like he changed his contact number, and during the whole entire confrontation, the man just required. I mean you want to divorce, you divorce properly. You don't want her, you don't want her, you say like you go missing for what?

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Then go cheat, you mutrieless. You're not happy with an relationship, you end it.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

The husband and wife were Malaysian. He says here, the wife followed her husband for coaching Malaysia to Singapore when he decided to get a diploma in Singapore. And things changed when he left to Singapore for a job interview.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

So so I was I was saying that this lady has been very supportive of the husband. From supporting him to study, come here to take care of him when he was studying, and also for him to come here to work.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

The most supporting is the son. Yeah, the son kept asking the mother why my why my my papa never called me? Why did Mapa never come and see me? The wife and the son actually still stays in Malaysia. Only the husband came to Singapore to earn money and also take a diploma. But instead of taking a diploma, he took a woman's diploma.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

I think maybe uh finished his diploma and he started work. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

He's like, okay, from here is she then she decided to enter Singapore to search for her husband and seek assistance from the police. The police told the Singapore number, not available, but found out from a friend that he went to Thailand. And during that whole entire period, the wife and the child had been going back and forth from the hotel and Singapore airport to wait for the flight from Thailand to Singapore. So she actually spent almost every single day searching for a flight that uh from Thailand to Singapore. Yeah, that's Thailand to Singapore, and stand there at the arrival gate. Almost every single day. Not knowing when he's coming back. What the kind the kind of determination.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

And when when he when she finally found the husband. He was holding hand in hand. Holding hand in hand with his female. Oh, he says your female student. Oh maybe he's his classmate. No, the woman was his violin student. Wow. You wow. Take a picture teaching violin, and then you got a girlfriend there. While getting while you are married.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Wow. So so also teaching Wow, you're a bastard. Wow. So after playing the violin, you play the girl.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Wow. So why? This kind. I think this is this is this can be labeled as the unmet needs. When a partner stops being a lover. He went to seek sexual and emotional intimacy. Maybe I don't know. No, maybe see the girl is young, easy to bluff. Possible.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

But 11 years with a four-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

11 years of uh managed maybe lesser, I think.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

Yeah. But 11 years of relationship.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

With a four-year-old. And the whole entire problem is you are you're having an affair with your with your student.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

What kind of teacher are you, man? But this one will cause a big childhood trauma to the kid, man.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

I I feel no matter how old a kid is, as long as the parents is have parents, one of them have a cheating case and it's found out it's a trauma. Regardless of how old the kid is. It's just how well they can they can manage the trauma over time.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

But the most important key point is here for guys for all the listeners, no matter what happens, always, always, always put your family first. Yes. In what kind what what whatever kind of uh things that you want. Even if you wanted to cheat, okay? And the thing of your family. And the relationship with either with your with your mistress or your legal wife. Okay, if you don't love your family anymore, okay, don't hold on to it.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

Don't don't in Chinese we call itong.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

Yeah. Long pain. Long pain, why not shop pain?

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Yeah, so why not just end the truth with your partner and end the marriage, which you might still be friends with your partner after marriage end, and then you can go on to do whatever you want now.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

Yeah, I think I think that's more acceptable.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

Yeah, because you know let's say you're afraid of having to go to the court procedure that you need to give uh the maintenance fee for the wife and the kid. I mean, come on, uh. No matter what, even if you have mistress outside, the mistress has your baby, you also need the support, right?

SPEAKER_00 41:43

Even if you fall cheating. You don't want a child, then don't drop your pants. No, I think I think sometimes guys cheat, right? Because thinking they can get away scot-free. Or think that they will never get found out. So that do they do not have to spend the child support or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

Ultimately, you still need to spend the child support, or whatever you're talking about. You say you pay for the school, you still need to pay for the tuition, you still need to pay for the diaper, the milk powder, it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Yeah, but that of the mind. They think is they think it's exciting.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Yeah. Best of both worlds.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

Yes, correct. So personally, I still feel you want to have some fun or some excitement in your life when you are married. End the marriage first. Yeah, and the marriage.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

And for ladies, please open your eyes, be big. Okay. This I shall keep this video for my daughter next time. Open your eyes, be big. Yes. Okay. Don't think that oh the guy is rich, the guy is handsome, useless. Okay? The richer you are, actually, the more prone you are. Cheat, actually.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

It depends. I already I really feel this one depends on the upbringing of the family. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

It's a lack of understanding of the consequences of the actions. Yes. Okay. It's a lack of lack of understanding. But there is also one important thing that may cause you to cheat. What? On and this kind of cheating is not based on whether you want it or not. Substance abuse. For example, alcohol. Okay. For guys out there, you must also be protective of yourself. Not only girls, huh? Guys, you also need to protect yourself. Substance abuse, alcohol. Very, very easy. It will lead you to poor judgment. Okay? And ultimately, to whole run sing. Meaning to say when you're drunk, you don't know what you're doing. You may be having sex with another person. You let your your ultimately if you are having. Drunk sex with a with a female say okay. You know, later or happy, happy you drunk sex with another guy. Okay, I have a friend who who did that. I got one friend, okay, a very long time friend which I never never never contacted really. He he had a girlfriend, he went to a party, after party, he woke up next to a man, and the man was dead. Wow. Okay. And I heard the best thing is his the hole that he shit the button bleed. And he sent to the hospital. He went overseas in Malaysia to it. I think I don't know what's the what's the what's the what's the thing? He actually sued the guy for raping, but I don't know whether it's legit or legal is Malaysian or not. It's Singapore. Okay. But wow guys, you have to be protecting ourselves. Yeah, it's true fact. I'm not gonna name it. He actually found out me talking about it. I don't uh think I changed my number.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

But wow. Yeah. Okay, I think it's okay. I never named him. He only only he himself knows, but it's a funny, funny, very funny thing.

SPEAKER_01 45:24

He actually went overseas. Okay, he's actually doing a solo trip to KL. Okay. He went to a club, not knowing what the club, the the nature of the club is. Actually, the club that he went is a gay club. He went drunk, dizzy, don't know what happened. The next thing morning. Was he drunk? Maybe.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

I don't know. Nobody knows. So he also knows. For all our listeners, regardless if you are a guy or a girl, when you go drinking, never go alone.

SPEAKER_01 45:59

So now, if I remember correctly, that time we were both 20 years of age.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

But the girlfriend, after founding out the news, broke out with him.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

Whoa. I think he he kinda both physical and emotional.

SPEAKER_01 46:21

Yeah, so I don't know what happened to him. Because after that case, I also like I also set up my run away. Like, wow. Your ass actually kinda poke.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

Unknowingly. I don't know. Yeah, so like I say, regardless, you're a guy or girl, if you go drinking, protect yourself. Even if you go with people you know.

SPEAKER_01 46:47

Okay, I gotta wrap up, wrap up on uh primary reasons why I mentioned lack of appreciation, okay, feel underappreciated, emotional neglect, feeling ignored, feeling neglected, or maybe a magnet, okay, when the person stops, when the partner stops being a lover and becomes more like uh like a mother or a roommate or someone who co-shares the house, householding. Okay, this kind of uh emotion and sexual intimacy. Okay, for couples, you whether you're a guy or a girl, show concern to your partner. Okay? No matter how big or how small.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

Okay?

SPEAKER_01 47:32

Always show some love. Okay? Insecurity and ego meant validating masculinity. You don't need to boost your self-esteem. Okay? The more you boost your self-esteem, the more the more childish you actually look in front of others.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

You just need to remember the only validation you need is actually from your partner. As well, your partner appreciates you. That's the that's all you need actually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:03

You don't need to confirm that you still have it. Okay. Or maybe the feeling of less than. Okay, maybe the man repeatedly feels inadequate because he's got network. Like nothing is nothing is enough with your partner. So you seek another affair partner to who offers uh approval. Okay, or offers you admiration. Okay, for partners, please. Always show your partner how in how adequate he is, or he or her is. Okay, you are enough. You're never never not enough. It's your you are enough. Yes, okay. Stop nagging. You're not a mother, or you're not a father. Okay. Sexual activity, sexual frequency. Decline in sexual intimacy can cause cheating. Or maybe the desire desire for varieties. Not in terms of changing partner. Maybe sometimes, you know, cosplay, you know, BDSM. See the movie Fifty Shades of Green. It helps. Okay? Maybe the thrilling factor. Okay, some men want to have a thrill factor, like uh adventure, seek uh uh mistress, like the secret affair, secret everything. Don't watch too much movie. It doesn't work that way. Okay? Don't be bored. Find something else to do. Go fishing. Fishing is a very nice hobby. Yeah, or drive grab during your free time. Okay. Relationship avoidance. Okay. Some men cheat because they want to end their relationship, like the Malaysian guy did to the wife and the four-year-old. Okay, uh, went missing six months. Don't be a coward, don't be too afraid. Okay? Go and seek a family service or you know, those kind of couple counseling. If it doesn't help, then just end the end the relationship. It's easy. Don't hold it. There's no point. No point finding out the person cheap and still hold on to it. Okay? It doesn't mean that you hold on to it, the guy will still willing to give you money, or the guy can still let you stay in the house. It doesn't work that way. Some sooner or later you still have to support your own. Think about your kids. If you don't have a kid, think about your dog. Okay? Or maybe a revenge. Maybe he felt hurt, he or she felt hurt, uh, being disrespected or be cheated on him himself or herself. They want to take revenge. Hello. Revenge doesn't work that way. Don't go and do this kind of stupid thing to go and cheat back. In court cases, the both of you cheat. Both at wrong. Both at wrong. One person cheat, go caught, you are right. Okay. Lack of commitment. Be committed if you are in a relationship. If you don't want to commit anything, okay, or you want to look for an opportunity to escape, you are not suitable to be in a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

Unless both parties agree to be in an open relationship. Yes. That's a different story. You can do what you want.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

Okay? But always let the other party know. That is a key one, huh? Okay. Individual situational factor, the opposition and temptation to simply having the chance to cheat because of a long business trip, boss and secretary, too much corn. Or in work environment with high temptation. You are only one guy, but your office content office ladies. If you have such an office, do let me know.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

You wanna go?

SPEAKER_01 52:08

Okay? Can lead to infidelity. Okay? This kind of a high opportunity and temptation. Like for example, the Malaysian guy again with the violin. Okay, having a student. Usually female students are the ones that always do violin because of the gracious night. I don't know why. Immaturity, a lack of understanding of the uh consequences, okay? Success abuse, like my dear friend, dear, dear friend. Or maybe childhood trauma. Okay, maybe having a history of neglect, abuse, or see the parent cheap. If you ever have this kind of uh childhood trauma, do seek a counseling. Okay? It's it's it's very wrong. Yes, okay. Regardless of where you are, it's not it's not that you are wrong. The whole entire trauma is wrong.

SPEAKER_00 53:03

Correct. Well, no matter which country you're in, I believe there are counselors for this. Yeah. Speak to counselors.

SPEAKER_01 53:09

If you are the one who cheats, please don't let your child be at home. Okay?

SPEAKER_00 53:15

Don't go and cause this kind of trouble trauma to the dear boy. If you are the one who is currently cheating, stop it. End a relationship with your partner. Yeah. Okay, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:31

Oh, and that summary, manage your own emotional issues. Always remember your mental health. You got a mental issue, seek help.

SPEAKER_00 53:44

Yes. Yeah. For our listeners, okay, because we're only talking on the men's part or the guy's part, the for the You can relate it to the female also. Female one. Do let do share with us also in the comment that why do women cheat? Yeah. Yeah. We also want to understand.

SPEAKER_01 54:07

Yeah. Mainly because we need to understand our wife. Okay. So please, uh, if you like this uh episode. So that we can prevent it from happening. Okay, so if you like this video, please do like, share, and comment uh for our YouTube video, or you can share this podcast to other listeners, or to if you know some your friends who have been cheating, uh, please share this this this this episode with him or her.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:41

Okay. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:44

No cheating goes unknown forever. And you take two times to clap. Yes. Clap. No, I'm not cheating with you.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

Yeah, no. No way. Uh so let's uh end this uh this session. This session this part of his session. Okay, this is Brian Pish.