It's Father's Day [Minisode 1]

Hey DDC fam. Father's Day is here again and I just wanted to pop in and say yes, this day can be hard and frustrating and feel like it will never end, or maybe it's joyful and light and full of happy memories. No matter what Father's Day looks like for you now, just remember you are never alone. There's an entire community of grievers standing behind you.

So please enjoy our first ever DDC minisode and may your Father's Day be whatever it will be.

See you next time.

Transcript

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What's up DDC fam? Happy Sunday and Happy Father's Day. Yeah, I know. Probably one of our top three least favorite days of the year, but here it is. I knew I wanted to release something today, but also knew a full-length episode was not it, so welcome to the first ever Dead Dads Club mini sewed. I have nothing new or profound to say when it comes to navigating Father's Day after your father dies, other than it can be a roller coaster. And that's the case whether it's your first, fifth, or fiftiet Father's Day without your dad. Between the barrage of businesses in your inbox letting you know all the money you can save buying your dad's gift from them, to the casual encounters of dads and their kids, just out and about getting to enjoy a type of togetherness you know you'll never experience again. Can all really feel like some cruel joke and you're at the punchline. I don't know if I can say I miss my dad more on Father's Day. This will be my third one without him, but I do know that I miss him differently. I miss being able to buy him a car that I know he won't only appreciate, but we'll keep along with the 30 others he's received from me over the years. Or trying to figure out what to get him because he's gonna tell me he doesn't need anything, but if I pray hard enough, I could manage to coax out what it is that he wants. And with Father's Day being on Sunday, that likely meant that we were gonna celebrate the night before as a family, go out to dinner, and the day of is reserved for church in the morning and family time in the afternoon. So, like I said, while I can't say I miss him more or less today, I do know I do miss him. Just different. And there may be some of you who today doesn't really affect you at all. Maybe Father's Day wasn't a thing in your family, maybe you didn't have the relationship with your dad that warranted celebrating him on this day, or maybe you've just conditioned yourself to forget that this day exists, and that's okay too. Your reaction to Father's Day, no matter what it is, is valid. So, while there may be a lot of sad that comes with this holiday, there's also a lot of good. I have to imagine. There comes a point where the grief transitions from all pain to just some pain and some gratitude. And who knows, maybe next year it'll be all pain again, but I can't let myself worry about that now. All I can do in this moment is feel how I feel and make it through the day. And I wanted to say that today I'm also holding space for all of my guests on DDC, both the ones you've gotten to meet already and the ones whose episodes have yet to drop. I'm so grateful to all of you for taking the time to share your dads with me and giving me another person to honor today. I hope this Father's Day brings you some sort of comfort, peace, I don't know, I hope it brings you something good. And if it doesn't, if it brings you something bad, then I hope it's the type of bad that you can make it through and maybe find some good at the end. And to those who I don't know and are grieving, you're not alone. Whether today makes you smile or cry or feel the urge to break something or I don't know, maybe a healthy combination of all three. Just know that even though it may feel like the day is looming over you, you can face it, and tomorrow will just be another day. And last, I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to wish it happy Father's Day to all the dads who have lost children. One of the things grief has taught me is that you should never be so self-involved that you forget to see things from the perspective of others. And I was reminded of that this morning when I saw a news story about a group of dads in London who meet up twice a month to play football, not our football, proper football, and talk about their grief from having lost their own child or children. I don't think it ever dawned on me before to really consider what it means to be a father without a child on Father's Day, even though I know I've given that same consideration to mothers time and time again when we think about Mother's Day. So for the dads out there, I hope this day will one day bring you feelings of joy or lightheartedness as you remember the incredible person you helped bring into this world, even if their time on it was far too short. I thought I'd end the show on something a little different this time. Everything I know and love and appreciate about music I got from my dad. I was lucky enough to grow up in a house where music was an everyday occurrence, and that music was probably from the 60s and 70s. Uh, one of my dad's favorite songs was I'll Be Around by the Spinners. Um, and now whenever I hear it, I just think of him. It just feels so Dowie coated. So here's a little bit of the spinners as we end the episode. Happy Father's Day, everyone. Especially my dad. See you guys next time. Bye.