Self-Love Secrets: 7 Tips for a Better Mindset | The Sunday Reset

"I was raised not to be a quitter, but I might complain along the way!" 

If you don't define yourself, the world will do it for you—and they usually get it wrong. This week, we’re sharing the 7 steps we use to take the pen back. 

We’re wrapping up our Month of Love with the most important relationship of all: the one you have with yourself. Today, Zara and Faith are sharing their personal "Self-Love Toolkit"—from the simple joy of a Sunday bath and cold-water face washes to the deeper work of therapy and setting hard boundaries.

If you’ve ever felt the burnout of working from home, the "doom-scroll" fatigue of social media, or the struggle of standing up for yourself, this episode is your permission slip to slow down.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Zara. And I'm Faye. And we would like you to sit down with us every Wednesday. In this episode, as it is, closing February, the month of love, we are gonna hone in on self-love. Because I think it's very it's so needed in these days. And everyone needs above self-love. 100%. Every now and again. So we've got seven amazing tips that we both use and have found that really, really work for us as people that look different or are disabled. And I think anyone can relate to these regardless. 100%.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Yeah. And if we've not mentioned something that you do as a form of self-love, we would love to know in the comments. Yeah. Just so for us as well as everyone else. Just to see as many self-love tips and tricks as possible.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I think there's endless tips. And I think there's a new thing every month, like a new trend or a new self-love vibe. But I think these seven that we've kind of collated together are like the main ones that we personally hone in on and that have really made a difference in our confidence and our self-love anyway. So yeah. Should we get into it? Let's get into it, guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

So the first one I want to talk about was solo date slash wellness day. Yeah, like a wellness moment. Just basically having, well, to me, that means having a day to myself, just basically not necessarily doing anything I would do on a date but myself, but just basically having a day to myself just to do anything I want to do. Yeah. That could literally be a walk in the park, or it could be taking myself for a three-course meal. A hundred percent. It just depends on what what kind of head head space and what I need as a form of self-love. That day.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

For me, this comes every Sunday. I see it as like a Sunday reset day. Nice. But that's where my solo day wellness day comes in. And it's always either a bath or with like some candles and like a full-on solo day. Like really wine and dine yourself. Not necessarily something you do every day. No, because I can't. I wish life was that good and I could have a bath with candles every day. But no, so that's my Sunday reset. Nice. And it's a bath and candles, or it's like a face mask, and I really hold in on my skincare that day, and I do every step, even though I've not got that many steps, but I just make sure that I do everything I want to do within that day. Taking your time, I think that's a major thing. When it comes to that. Speaking about time, another big self-love tip that I use a lot is a routine. And that doesn't have to be like regimented military time. 5am get up. No. Like I mean, if that's your thing, then good for you. Like I'm kind of jealous if you're like a 5am girly. I'm like a I'm a night owl and I always have been a night owl. But because of that, I always make sure my morning routine is the same because it sets up for my day. And like I always try to get up early, and when I need to get up early, if I have an an important day or occasion, yeah, I will be that hot like 5am girly, but I won't be happy about it. Yeah. You know, I was raised to be what did I read the other day? I was raised to be um raised not to be a quitter, but I might complain along the way. Oh yeah, 100%. I won't quit, but I'm not gonna be happy about it. There you go. You know? That's great. Yeah. So, but for a routine in my morning, I make sure that I wake up and the first thing I do is I wash my face with cold water. It just wakes me up and then I have a herbal tea. Nice. Because if you know me, I love my coffee, but I try to delay that at least a good hour until I've officially woken up.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

So my morning routine honestly just sets up my day, and that's the little bit of self-love that you will then naturally get into the routine of doing every single day.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Yeah, and I think self-love is always about mindset and having a clear routine sets you off for a better day slash a better mindset throughout that day. I think a big one for me as well is making plans, having something to look forward to. As much as I feel like the name, the term self-love could not necessarily mean spending time on your own. I think it's all it's also good to nutshell yourself out to the world and actually making plans, whether that's with your family, with your friends, with a partner if you have one. And yeah, just making sure you've got something to look forward to to brighten up your day.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Yeah, and I think to add on to that, I think a lot of us now we either work from home or we work on our own or in an office where people are more colleagues and colleagues than true friends. And so making those plans does make you look forward to some commonality and just some good company as well.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

And yeah, and you might just be in your head about something and like going out with a certain person, you might think, Oh, actually, I'm not the only one who thinks about this.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

I think for making plans it's as well not shutting yourself out, which kind of links back into that working on your own and working from home because all you might see all day is your computer screen and people on Zoom, and that's about it. So it is important to get out and to see other people, even if it's just to like a local cafe and you've gone for like a little drink or just to your local Tesco's, like that's me. I will literally just walk to Tesco's and get a meal deal sometimes just to see another human. Yeah, just just that little interaction could be great. But not gonna lie, this has made me want to get a dog so bad. Oh my god. It's gonna happen, guys. I promise you that I will have a little dog at some point. I know.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

It is its own self-love. Yeah. Another one that's really important to me is therapy. I know there's still a lot of stigma around therapy, and hearing someone that's going through therapy, it's like, oh, there's something wrong, and there's like reasons and reasons and reasons behind it. But genuinely, as someone who's been through therapy for many years now, can't remember how long it's been, it is so much more than that. And it's just again, if you don't have that person to talk to you or that person to make plans, having that therapist to talk to, and just yeah, it it really helps you kind of check back in with yourself, whether that's intentionally or unintentionally. I remember like when I speak to my therapist about something, she makes me think about think about other things that I've not necessarily thought about. Is make you think about things a different way. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

I recently did do like a small course, which was a mental health first aid course and awareness, and now they now see mental health as a spectrum, and you bounce up and down this spectrum throughout your whole life. So you'll never okay all the time, and you're never not okay all the time. I love that. You always bounce within okay and not okay, and sometimes you don't need any help, or sometimes you need a lot more hands-on help. And I think that's where the stigma of mental health has changed massively and become so much more, I guess, socially acceptable. Yeah. Which I think is so disgusting that I've had to say, but it should always be socially acceptable to say that you're not okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Yeah, it's definitely more in more conversations, which I'm loving. And yeah, it definitely there's still kind of a long way to go, or wherever at, it's great. So, yeah, having therapy, I think it just really helps you know your own self-worth through someone else. So that kind of gives you that unintentional self-love, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Yeah, and I think adding to that as well, even if you can't go to therapy, whether you're trying to go private or the NHS, is just it's a really long waiting list, which I know it is. Such things as journaling and just checking in with yourself. Yeah. Or do you mean like just small little tips that we're staying throughout this episode?

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Not necessarily paid therapy. No. It could be any kind of forms of therapy that means something to you.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Going on to another self-love tip, I would say it's getting outside, getting some fresh air, vitamin D, even though we probably don't get much of it in the UK with the weather not being so sunny all the time. We can be sunny in ourselves. Yeah. And I think fresh air and just getting out in nature makes a big difference. Now, I'm not saying you need to whip your shoes and socks off and get your feet on the grass and ground yourself physically in your own. Or go on like a 10 10 mile hike or whatever. Even though I do know people that have done that and have really that does work and it grounds you back to reality almost. But just a little walk or a stroll or a little venture outside is enough to also just turn your mood around.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

I think for me, it makes me realise that there's so much going on around the world, and to put it quite weird and blunt, makes me realise we are just on a floating rock at the end of the day, and obviously some situations are more serious than others, but it just makes you think for the most part, for me personally, it makes me just realise that just being outside is what I needed that day, and it to just put things into perspective for me.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

I think as well, life has so much noise, and when you're outside in your own space or with someone, it's enough just to just dull that noise and really hone in on what you should be listening to. Yes, and what matters the most. 100%. Yeah. But adding on to that, self-love number six, um I would say is standing up for yourself, which I think is a it's like a yeah, I love that. It's a big girl self-love concept, I think. Because if you talked to Faith 10 years ago, she was not standing up for herself. We didn't have a backbone, we honestly we were so shy, and we didn't stand up for ourselves and we just kind of let things slide. But I have learned over the years that the more I have stood up for myself and my boundaries, the more self-love I have received from others and also from myself.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Yeah, because it makes you realise yourself worth, um, and you're like, hang on a minute, this is what I need, this is what I deserve, and in return you're not going to kind of get anything less than you deserve.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Yeah, which is not great. And you don't want to be treated any less than you deserve to add on to that. Yeah. And for me, as an example, a big one for me is no one touches my head apart from family and friends, and that's only if they really need to, which they normally never do. Um, but there has been times in the past where I've been in a group and they've rubbed my head, or they've just gone to, oh, can I have can I just feel your head to see what it feels like? It's and it's that boundary that I didn't know I needed until it was like this is ridiculous, this is too far now. Yeah. And so it's that is that's the standing up for yourself. That's the essence of knowing what you want to receive from people. Yeah. And sticking to that for yourself, to sticking to your own word. So that's a great one.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Yes. And to round it up, we thought one that we could probably all relate to, especially in this day and age, is a digital detox. Love this. And I'm really liking the fact that this has become more common in recent years. And I think as much as social media is great, and I mean you guys are literally watching this on a social platform right now or listening, and that's great, but it's also good to kind of check back in with yourself and realize that like the digital world isn't the only world to be part of, and a detox from it can actually do you more good. 100%. So I I really kind of value my time away from social media. I remember a few years back I did a month away, I did the whole January without social media, and as someone who's always constantly on their phone, that was so hard for me. And then I remember when I came back on, I was like, I literally was hardly on my phone because I was like, there's just no need. And it it was great. And to be honest, I was gonna do it again this time around, but I just never got around to it, but maybe March. Yeah, it's a detox number. Or I mean, you don't have to be as drastic to be honest. You can literally do a detox day, a detox hour, a detox afternoon, whatever works for you, I think could be quite beneficial for yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Even just like the first hour before you wake up or the first the last hour before you go to sleep, again, linking back to that routine, yes, just that hour of no screen time makes a massive difference. I think as well, working back into that digital world, it's very fake online. Like most things you see, especially now with AI, yeah, don't even know what's real these days.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Cat videos, is it AI? Is it real?

SPEAKER_01 13:03

No, I don't know anymore. It's like I was laughing at a video the the other day, and then my partner was like, Faith, that's AI. I was like, give over. No, no way. I was like, so but I think as well, people only show you their highlighted real. Yeah. They don't show you the behind the scenes and the sad times, unless, unfortunately, unless it's a trend.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

I was going to say it's become more common, but like you said, it has become a trend, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

It's now more common, which is sad, but yeah, so like so on here we are trying our hardest to be authentic, to show the good and the ugly because that is life. Life has its ups and downs.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

It's not always rainbows and roses, equally, it's not always us crying in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

You know what I mean? You know, but I think the digital detox is definitely for this day and age and needed to add on even more to doom scrolling. It it wipes your zapamine out of whack, and you know you then don't know what's what actually makes you happy, and then you're scrolling for some sort of reaction to make you feel better, but you're not making feel you're making you then make yourself feel worse. Yeah. So it's finding that balance again. So a digital detox, yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

And that wraps up our seven self-love tips. Hope you guys enjoyed. And like I said at the beginning of the episode, if there's any that we haven't mentioned that you feel works for you, please feel free to share in the comments because we're always looking out for other self-deaf methods for ourselves and as well as everyone else watching.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Um, I think just to add on to it all, if anyone is struggling with their mental health or even self-love and how to give themselves self-love, it's essential that you reach out to someone that can give you those tools, not just tips, but actual tools that you can use to become more yourself again. Because as much as you can read every self-love book, every confidence book, watch so many podcasts and get so much advice off so many different people, the only people that can sometimes help you is the ones closest to you or professionals. Yeah. Just as a little disclaimer out there as well. And that, everyone, wraps up the month of love.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Woo! We've talked about everything confidence, self-love in today's episode. Had you been watching, and some interesting stories.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Yeah, rejection, dating stories, dating tips, advice, a lot. And if you want to hit those episodes up, look back and have a look at those episodes. They're not ones to miss. We delve into a lot, guys.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Like also, this is our one month anniversary of the boss. Woo! So, yeah, so let us know how you've been enjoying. If you think we need to make some changes, just let us know how you feel, basically. And we'll see you again in March. Yeah. Yay! We thank you so much for watching this episode. I hope you enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

And we can't wait to have you sit down with us next Wednesday.