"Check Yourself" | Invasive Questions & "Tone-Deaf" Podcasters

"Why do you feel entitled to know?"

This week, Zara and Faith are moving away from the media and looking at the people we deal with every single day: the public. From the "hero" who tried to push Faith’s wheelchair without asking to the strangers who assume a bald woman always equals the "C-word," we’re discussing why public perception can be more nerve-wracking than anything else.

We also get heated as we tackle the "Low IQ" podcast and Candace Owens’ controversial take on inclusive fashion. 

Why is it so "tone-deaf" to speak for a community you aren't part of? 

And why is "No" a full sentence when a stranger asks for your medical history?

But it's not all venting! We also celebrate the power of social media as a tool for change. From breaking down harmful stereotypes to busting the common myths surrounding disability and facial differences, we discuss how being visible and vocal online is rewriting the narrative.

Follow us for more:
📸 Instagram: @sitdownwithuspod @faith_hiles @zaraborji
🎵 TikTok: @sitdownwithuspod

#DisabilityAwareness #Alopecia #ZaraAndFaith #WheelchairLife #Inclusion #RepresentationMatters #Podcast #ZebedeeModels

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Zara and I'm Faith. And we would like you to sit down with us every Wednesday. On today's episode, we are going to be talking about everything public perceptions. So previous episodes we had the lovely Angela, obviously, and also the episode before that, we were talking about media perceptions. But as influential as media perceptions are, I think as much influential, if not more, sometimes, is the public's perception of disability, indifference, and the world.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

100%. And I think it's a public's pers it's public's perceptions sometimes that are more nerve-wracking than anybody else because it's the public that normally you deal with every day. Going to Tesco's, I love a Tesco shop. I feel like I talk about Tesco's a lot. Need a sponsorship. Please. Um yeah, or it's even just like going to your local for some bread and butter in the morning or anything like that, going to the hairdressers, you know, nail salon for girls, like it's you know, you're up the public's there, it's everywhere. And there's so many people now, and there's so many opinions. Oh, yeah. Some wanted, some unwanted, some why did you say that? Um, that I think that's why the public perception is more nerve-wracking than anyone else's sometimes. Yeah. I think, especially when going back to dating and relationships, you're always nervous about what your partner's gonna think. If you try something new, or if you've got to like come out with something and you, you know, you have an opinion, but normally that's a disagree or or agree or agree to disagree moment. Yeah. But when it's a public and when it's someone that you don't know a full stranger, it's very hard to really get around the hard conversations when they are out of order. But obviously, we're not rude people. No. It's so hard to then put them in their place.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Um, a story that I have actually that symbolises that is when I was walking down the when I was walking down the street. No, I wasn't. Let's be real. I was wheeling down the street. Do you know what? I always say wheeling, and then other times I catch myself like walking, and I'm like, Why are you lying for? Why are you lying about? Um I was wheeling down the street in a very busy street in Manchester where I'm from. Well have we mentioned that? We've said we're northerns. Yeah, we're not. Yeah, we are Manchester Secret Center. Um and I was basically, obviously, it was in the middle of Manchester, it was very chaotic, it was like rush hour, was wheeling about, and my bag was on my shoulder, I was getting like all types of hyperventilation, if you can call it that. And then so I was a bit slow. Well, usually I'm like woman on a mission, yeah, right? And then so I was slowing down, and then I my bag fell. So I went to pick it up, and then I noticed this like force pushing me, and like by say pushing me, I mean my chair, right? And I kind of because I was already on edge, I kind of got my bag and I went, whoa, yeah, what is going on? And then he just went, Oh, I just I I saw you slow down, you needed help, so I just thought I'd give you a bit of a push. I'm sorry, what? Obviously, at the time and in every other time, I'm not a confrontational person at all. Like you could wall a call over me, please don't. Don't do it. Don't do it, but you could. So at the time I just went blank, wheeled away. Yeah. But it was the fact that he thought that I I was struggling. So his first instinct wasn't to ask me if I needed help, wasn't to approach me in a nice way. It was just to like sure push me. Yeah. And the way I always see it, if you or if anyone else was walking down the street, I if I pushed you, that's not okay. Or if I held your hand to walk you across the street, that's not okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

Especially just out of the blue. Like I see it personally, I see it as the same as someone picking me up to move me. Yeah. Because that's like because as much as people may see a chair as an object, it's it's it's it's you. Yeah, it's my legs. Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's yours, that's your space. So if they're gonna go into your space without asking, yeah, and I can understand where he probably thought he was doing a kind gesture there. Yeah. If you hadn't properly thought it through, like you said, it was rush hour, but even so it doesn't make it okay just to literally push me.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah. And I don't know if you've noticed, if you know me personally, you have, but I don't have any handles on the back of my chair now because I'm like, that's just some more invitation theatre.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

It's removing that incentive already, yeah. Which I shouldn't need to do. No. But yeah, I just think that could be bizarre. I think that's just a miscommunication thing as well. So people do think that it is okay to do that because normally on like we'll go back to TV then, that's what you see people doing. Yeah, just pushing them. When you come out of hospital, it's the chair.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

When you see like a like a a couple, it's wheeling the chair, you know, even so yeah, so And I'm annoyed because like going back, like looking back, I wish I'd just like stopped and educated them. But like I just want to remove myself from that position, but I just was like, whoa. When you've already got so much going on already. But I wish I'd just gone and been like, that's not okay, like you need to ask.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Yeah, but I didn't do that. But yeah, I think to add to that, I think it's definitely just the public's perception of thinking they're right, and it's also at their point like their truth and all they know. Yeah. And that's where the education, the awareness comes in. That's why we are here. Hi. Yes, hello. Um, and because I get the question a lot, and I know a lot of other alopecia girlies get the question a lot if we are ill. So I get the cancer question a lot, and just to state, I have never had cancer, I have no experience really of cancer. I've been very fortunate that no one really in my family has had um if we've had scares, but nothing to where I can be so attached to even talk. Yeah. It's not your experience. It's not my experience at all. So I I don't feel like I can talk on the subject at all. However, I can talk on the fact that when people have asked me if I've had cancer, or if I if I have cancer, I mean that's why I'm that's why I'm bald. I always start with saying sorry, no. And it's like I shouldn't have to apologise for not having and apologise for you being wrong for making an assumption.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Again, I understand where that assumption has come from because majority of the people that are bald is due to the chemotherapy and the hair loss being the symptom of the chemotherapy. And so that but again, alopecia, I think it's a very new awareness concept. Only for the past few years where people are more aware of it now. So there's times now people ask me, they uh they say, Is it alopecia or are you and before they even say it, I'm like, Yes, it's alopecia. Because I find it's very awkward when they do bring up the C word. Yeah, you know, I c I call it the C word because I just it's yeah. So it's um but the worst thing for me is when I go to the doctors. So especially with all my other autoimmune conditions and blood tests that I've had to have every six months just through my celiac, it's good to have checkups every six months. A bit of a tip for all my celiacs out there. Um and but when I when I'm sat in the doctor's surgery, obviously everyone's there for a reason. You even if you bump into someone, you're like, Oh, great to see you. Yeah. Under these circumstances, when you're at the doctor's, it's always an awkward one, isn't it? So I think everyone feels the same. You don't really want to be seen at the doctor's surgery, you just want to get in, get out, do your thing, um, and not really talk. But when I walk in, I feel all eyes come to me. And normally if I go to the doctors, I'm ill. Like, as you as you heard from last week, my mum is a nurse. I was raised like, if I'm like, I've tried the paracetamol, I've tried everything. If I'm like ill, I'm going to the doctors. Like it's like the last resort for me. Um so if I'm there, like I'm ill, don't talk to me. I'm there for a reason. Yeah. You know? And obviously everyone's there for a reason, but you don't want attention.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

You don't want no. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

You don't want attention in that moment. No. And as soon as I walk in, sign in, turn around to find a chair, I just feel all eyes on me. And I just feel like everyone's brain is kind of ticking and perceptions are forming. And I feel like half the time it's actually what you think they're thinking, not actually what they're thinking. So it makes it worse. Yeah. So I get this a lot when people are staring, but it was worse years ago. Where I used to think, oh gosh, people are staring, they think I'm XYZ, when actually they're probably just trying to figure it out, or someone actually might have just lost a daughter. Yeah. And I because I've had that I've had that recently actually. Um I was working and a guy came up to me and said, Oh, you just look just like my daughter, and showed me a photo and she actually did have cancer. And it was just a moment for him, not to get closure, he didn't use me for closure, but for him it was just to I don't know, he he he just said he was very proud. And I didn't I didn't need that on a stranger, but for him he needed that. And so I have space and I have patience for individuals like that, which I actually have got more recently. Interesting. Um but yeah, I think yeah, I've had the the the C-word a lot, and I think that's the main perception that I want to change, but also the perception of if I did have cancer, would you actually go up to someone and ask?

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Yes. I I think we touched on this on last week's episode. Yeah. But it's just like, why, why, first of all, why do you feel entitled to know? Like what what is it? Yeah, unless it's like a medical, like you are a medical professional. And also it's like, what if the answer was yes? Yeah, like what if you were terminal?

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Mm-hmm. Like for me. What what like I just I don't know, it's just maybe maybe it's just how I've been brought up, but I would never directly ask someone if they are real.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

No.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Especially when I'm a stranger and I don't know you, and you don't ask that much of a personal question. Like, yeah, so that's the main perception thing that it kind of needs to change. No, it does need to change. 100%. It needs to change. So I know so many alopecia girlies, and I would keep referring to alopecia girlies because there's so many of us online, we all follow each other, and that's what helped me accept my alopecia through hearing their experiences and thinking I've had the exact same experience. Like, you're not alone in this. Yeah, this is not out of the ordinary, it happens a lot. Like I think I I feel very strongly saying every alopecia girly that's either been wearing a wig or is has gone out bold in their proud, bold look has had this question. I will I strongly believe majority, if not all of us, have.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Because it's it's weird because it's like to them it's the only obvious answer, but it's not. No. Like you just need to open your eyes to different possibilities and not assume.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

Yeah, and it I mean, we're saying this, it's got a lot better to the point that sometimes people have come up to me and they said, Oh, is it alopecia? And I'm like choking on my words, like, oh my gosh, you know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

You know, like you kidding.

SPEAKER_03 11:18

You did and it's those moments that I smile and laugh afterwards because I'm like, as if I thought they were gonna ask me if I had cancer instead. So it's almost like then it's gone back on me, yeah, overthinking what they're thinking. So it's like my perception of the public's perception. Oh my gosh, yeah, we're going down a cat 22 right now.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Like I am Oh no, okay. And I think going back to you not necessarily wanting to, you don't necessarily need to know. So, for example, no one needs to know if you have cancer or not, no one needs to know if it's alopecia or not. Like, fair enough, you can disclose that if you wish, but they don't need to assume. And I think that leads on to people and the public um sort of putting that opinion and perception out into the into the world. One example that really boils my blood. Is that her? Boils your blood. It really truly does, even though I didn't realise it was a term, but it is. It is, is from a different podcast, and we're not here to bash the podcast world. No. We're all friends here. We're not to say we're better than any other podcast.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

We're not here to out anyone or to cause any more drama or hate, but we are here to talk about things to raise more awareness of our reality.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

We are here to bash myths where they're meant to be bashed. Yeah. And one mm one thing that kind of stood out to me was on the low IQ podcast. I mean, I d I've never even watched this podcast, but it came up that particular episode came up for me on my TikTok. And it was basically a scenario when one of them asked, if your girlfriend was in a car accident, and I believe the term they used was became mangled. With some gestures, by the way. Yeah. Like not just the word, but I don't want to do the gestures. Yeah. It was just like it was yeah, you need to watch it for yourselves, even though I don't know if that episode's still up, but if you want to go on TikTok and watch it for yourselves. Yeah. They've not addressed as far as we know. If if you know that they have, let us know, but we don't know. So yeah, so they said, if your girlfriend was mangled, um, would you still stay with her? Or something along those lines. There's three of them. One of them said yes, and then the other one also said yes. But the person asking that question was like, no, you wouldn't. You'd be too worried about what people thought. And I'm like, Whoa, hang on a minute. Let's retract. Yeah. And to some people watching this, maybe that's just an innocent thought, and maybe that's someone being uneducated, and I agree, they are definitely uneducated. But a conversation like that and an opinion like that to be put out in the public eye is you are standing on business. Yeah. You are standing on the your opinion.

SPEAKER_03 14:17

Yeah, I think with it as a as a platform where you have so many viewers and watchers as well, you can't say something as harmful as that. No. Because that is very damaging to so many people, whose, by the way, reality that actually is. Yeah. You know, and it's not that's not just a flyaway hypothetical thing. Because as much as people say hypothetically, somewhere in the world that's somewhere that's someone's reality.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Literally, and I know we like our word of the week, word of the episode, tone-deaf. Tone deaf. Text if that's two words. It's a phrase. It's a phrase. And I think the only way to describe that particular podcast episode, again, I don't really watch their podcasts anyway, but that particular episode, tone deaf. Because you'd have to be tone-deaf not to realise how damaging and ignorant what steaming you just put out there is.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Because also it's the fact that because he obviously retracked and said, no, you wouldn't, because you would be embarrassed or whatever, just to hold hands. I'm like, well, where's that opinion coming from in the first place? Like why do you even have that to say? Like, and I just think even just to out your mate like that, yeah, that's putting him in a tricky situation, but you've also just screwed over yourself at the same time. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

And going back to our dating series last month, um, I'm not sure if I mentioned this particular story, but basically it hits closer to home for me because one time this guy, I think I did actually mention it, when the guy cancelled the date with me because he was afraid of what the what people were gonna think of him to be seen with me. And obviously, not everyone has that is close to home for them, but back of on the back of your head, you always have that what if that's what they're thinking. And for podcasts to be out there in clear as day, globalization is rife as well, so the world can see this. Literally, to be like, this is normal. Your thoughts about thinking people are gonna judge you by being with someone who's different or disabled is normal. Let's not normalise it, please. We are not here to normalise that.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

Because also it puts out the perception that it's okay to joke about it when I'm sorry, we're we're 20 years ahead right now. No, it's really not okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Like we said in previous episode, I joke about my disability as much as the next girl with a disability. And I think there's a difference between oh well and good, me taking the mick out of my own disability, my own disability, not anyone else in a wheelchair, not anyone else with a dispany befitter, my own experience. Yeah. Where and that's different compared to someone, for example, you or anyone else taking the mick out of someone with a wheelchair because you know someone who's disabled, like that, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

And I think people joke about their own situations naturally to get through it. I joke about my my alopecia, and I have been since I was 11 to cope with it. Like what what 11-year-old has taken the mick out of themselves like that? No one, but that was the way I coped with it. Yeah. And I think many people do this, whether it's a spot on their face or they don't like, I don't know, they don't like their eyebrows, or they don't like something about them. They will joke about it, just the same as like you you joke about something that's that's gone wrong in the day. You end up turning light to it to get through it. It's the exact same thing. And I think for someone else to joke about it, it's a no-no.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Yeah, the lines are to be drawn there. If you don't know anything about it, if you're not personally experiencing it, shh.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

Yeah. I think my statement especially is because there's so many platforms nowadays and everyone thinks they can have an opinion, everyone thinks they can have an opinion, however, they have an opinion on things they have not experienced. Yes. And that's where I'm like, check yourself before you actually say your opinion. Like, not that not the fact that your your opinion isn't valid, but is it backed up? Does it make sense? Can you actually talk on this topic?

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Speaking of little Miss Candace Owens. Now, we already know she's a very controversial person in many of her opinions.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

And to be fair, I do love her. Like some of the things she's said, her statements are so true and pure, and she does speak facts the majority of the time.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

But this particular time. Oh, I need to take a breather. Yeah, she recently, well, we say recently, it was a few years ago, put out this statement, speaking statement, and was basically bashing the Skims. Skims, if you don't know what Skims is, is a brand of like underwear and like active wear and like pajamas and things like that by Miss Kim Kardashian. Um and she basically had a problem about this post that was by Kim Kardashian's brand Skims, and it was a it was a woman in a wheelchair wearing a bra and underwear, and it said Skims for everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

I know, I was like yes, that is true. Like that is so because also it's like if I'm gonna buy a dress, like it would be lovely to see a bold model wearing it, to see if it would look too weird for no hair. Because there are some dresses I've had in the past and I'm like, oh hundred percent. Like turtlenecks, not for me. 100%. Like, yeah, so it is lovely to see representation.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

For example, for me, if I'm wearing if I'm buying jeans, oh my god, I'm sure people in wheelchairs and people who sit down majority of the time can vouch with this. The amount of times I buy um jeans, and it's like it makes me look like I have a bulge. Because it just doesn't look right. And I'm like, if only I'd just seen that on a model who was sat down. Yeah. And obviously, in the next episodes, we are gonna go into the importance of having monikins and fashion and models who are and also a fashion brand that I actually quite love, that's very new.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

But I know they were in London Fashion Week last year, and I'm actually gonna bring it up next episode because it's so vital. Yeah, stay tuned for that.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

But yeah, going back to Little Miss Candace Owen's opinion, I don't know why I'm calling her little miss, as well. It just feels very sarcastic, but yeah. Anyway, she basically said, she I'm not gonna tell you word for word what she said, but she basically said, one, the disabled community don't care about seeing that, which absolutely false. As one of the members of the disabled community, we absolutely do care. As I've just said, the importance of it, seeing a model. Like, for example, if I'd seen that underwear and it was like bulging and it was like just not looking right, instantly I want to buy it. Yeah, because you you buy clothes based on what the model is showing.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Because the model isn't there to show themselves off, they're there to show the clothes and how it fits and how it looks. 100%. Hence why on the description it actually says what size the model is wearing. Yes. So you can like reflect back and go, okay, I'm a size 10, I'm a size 8, and that will fit me, or I'm a size 14, great. That's how it would potentially look on me.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

So it it again, it brings it more personal to you for shopping because online shopping has become so much more personal. So why would you not want to be inclusive? Sorry, continue. I'm about to go off as well.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

I know, I'm getting here, we're all getting here over here. And what annoyed me about this whole thing, I mean, there were many points in this episode that annoyed me. But one of the things that annoyed me is that she went off about her whole opinion of how this isn't right, how people don't need to see this, of how, for example, she literally took the make and was like, oh, people who are with crutches are now gonna come and like expect to be in these things and they don't care about this. She gave all her opinion and like halfway through, she said, Oh, but like, I don't know anything. Please educate me. Yeah. Like I'm sorry, if you start off with an opinion and a wrong opinion of that, then you can't end it with, but if I don't know anything, please educate me. Yeah. I'm s no.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

I feel like all of this would have been fine if at the beginning she said, I really don't know how to take this. And I feel very uneducated on it because I'm I can't experience this myself.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

But so please educate me in the comments. However, this is how I feel right now.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

Like protect even though how she felt wasn't even necessary.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

We didn't know how you needed to feel about that, babe. I'm sorry. There was no facts backing up what she was saying. And it was just really frustrating that she felt like she had an opinion. And again, it's going back to people thinking they have an opinion on something based on based on nothing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

And it's like, yeah. And don't get me wrong, I love freedom of speech. Everyone can speak their mind. Yeah. But to an extent, like, come on, maybe maybe talk it with your best friend first. Yeah. See if it see if it translates before you see it on a big platform in front of thousands of millions of people.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

It it yeah, it that that speech genuinely baffled me to the point that I wanted to speak on it a few years ago when it happened on social media, but then I thought it was annoying because at that time I didn't have the confidence I have now. So I thought, oh, what if I say something and people actually back her?

SPEAKER_02 23:18

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

And then then it all just And I think that's when that's when like the popularity, the online controversy and everyone's opinions, freedom of speech comes into play, and then you feel scared to stand up. But actually it's like if you don't stand up for what you believe in and what is actually true to you, who is experiencing this first hand? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Like don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong. Some disabled people, I mean, I don't know who, I can't imagine anyone would, but maybe someone's out there that thought she was right. I mean, I can't imagine anyone, but maybe some people thought she was right. But as someone with that platform, you need to have the mindset of there's gonna be at least 70% of the people who are gonna disagree. So for you to sit there and put everyone under the same umbrella of the opinion that you have, it's just wrong. No.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

And I think as well, it's um personally, I feel it's almost like she she thinks everyone should have that opinion, like you said. Yeah. And it's like, and then she goes, doesn't she go on to then say, I'm over this, like this needs to stop?

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Yeah, like America. I think she was like, America on what we're doing, like this is crazy, like it's not crazy. Oh she said it's enough. She said inclusivity, we don't need I think she said something along the lines of inclusivity, we don't need it, or like, yeah, we've had enough of inclusivity. I'm sorry, we're only just getting started with inclusivity. Take a nap, babe, because you can't be getting tired of it. No. I'm like, I'm and I'm sorry, some I remember someone, whilst we were deep diving in this, someone mentioned that back in the day, Candice Owens, as a human being, being part of a program and a platform wouldn't have been a thing. Because let's be real, she's a person of colour, and that wasn't normalized back in the day. So why is it now as a person of colour, she's coming up, coming at a different community saying that, basically saying that shouldn't be normalised. I'm sorry, it's just again very tone-deaf. I'm not I'm not having it.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

No, I think the world has definitely grown a lot, and that's where there is more representation now because it's growing even more. And there's more, I mean, there's so much now where you can find the truth online. But I think if you're putting the wrong truth out there, yeah, that's when it's damaging. Digital blueprint.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Like that video of you, Han, isn't going anywhere. Be careful what you say out there. Literally. See it. Literally. Should we wrap it up? I got really hid, I'm so sorry. Yeah, but you need to because it hits close to home. It really does. I'm really pissed off. Like what was said was. No, like what do you mean? Like, if I was to go on a Victoria Fashion show, are people gonna be like, oh, we don't need to see this? Yeah. Also, I would love to see like a bold model in wings of secrets. Yeah, but are people gonna see that and be like, oh, we don't need someone without hair? I know.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

I'm just like, well, sorry, you all go to the hair salon and you've got your hair cut anyway. Yeah. Like honestly, I know we got heated there for a second, but it's justified. Yeah. Quite justified. And also, like, you don't need to be that deep. Do you know what I mean? Like, why does it bother you so much?

SPEAKER_01 26:27

We we're deeping it because it's it's our experience, yeah. And we're deeping it because your opinion is wrong. To put it blank. So you need to be educated. But and if you were speaking on facts, then fair play. Yeah. But you're not.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

There you go. Yeah. Like if you come at me with statistics and say XYZ, XYZ, fair.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Like if you came up to me and was like, 90% of the people that I interviewed said disabled people that I interviewed said that they couldn't care less about this campaign. They don't they want every able-bodied person out there to be in every campaign, then I'd be like, good for the 90%. Yeah. Not for me personally, but good for the 90%.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

But I think, yeah, if it's an opinion, just make sure it's like you actually need to say it. Like, yeah, what's what's the term? Not like, does it come from like what's the what's the elephant called? Not Bambi, that's the deer. Yeah. Elmo. Is it Elmo? Elmo, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. Is that what you said? I think it's from Elmo. Lol, I've just made something up. I haven't heard that. Lol, who the head says who says that anymore? Lol. Lol. You know, I had a friend whose mum thought lol stands for lots of love. My mum thought that as well, actually. Stop it. I was like, laugh out loud. Even though in the moment I probably don't laugh out out loud. I'm like, hmm, lol. When it's not any. We're digressing way too much. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

But we needed to make it lighthouse because we we got hit. Yeah, we did. I was about to punch you in the face. I was picturing you as Candace Owens. I was like, fuck it. What would I do if she was saying right now?

unknown 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

Probably nothing, because I I'm not confidential, but you know. Again, that was a few years ago, and I hope now her view has changed.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Your opinion has changed. Again, I we don't know. Similar to the low IQ podcast, we don't know if she has put a statement inside. Yeah. We don't know. But I doubt it. Yeah. I really doubt it.

SPEAKER_03 28:30

But I know I know that was on the news, actually. It did make the news. I think it did make the news in the US, potentially.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Just crazy. Like it's honestly opinions. Sometimes say it in front of the mirror. If you're thinking it again, maybe say it a few more times to the mirror. Say it to a couple of friends, and maybe just end it there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Especially if you think it's controversial. And it's a it's a it's something that you don't feel like you can actually have an opinion on.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Yeah, not just controversial, but like something that's like you it's not very personal to you. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's very, I don't know. It's just very bizarre to think you know the ins and outs of an experience that you've not experienced.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Prime example, so everyone can understand this, it's like having an experience of sorry, having a perception and opinion of homelessness. Everyone has a s a very big stereotype perception that they're drug users, they're low life, when actually that's really not the case for majority of people. Yeah. Normally it's just they've been kicked out of home from a young age, they can't pay rent because of the cost of living. There's so many other reasons not for you to generalize. And I think that's the exact not the exact same of obviously, but another example of You could relate to it. Yeah. If you don't have an opinion or if your if your opinion is very damaging and for potentially not true, it's more generalized. Yeah. Then keep it to yourself. It's also needed. Yeah. Why why is it needed at the end of the day? It's not. But to digress onto something a little bit more positive and also why we are here talking about this. Yeah. It's because awareness in the public of differences, of different disabilities, and even different abilities is very, very needed.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

And at the end of the day, like we've always said, it's not always doom and gloom. No. It's not. And as much as my part of this podcast, my contribution has been doom and gloom on today's episode, it's not always doom and gloom. Yeah. But yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

Yeah, but I think the doom and gloom is just to again show the reality of what has been said in the past. Yeah. Because I mean, I have a story where public perceptions, I honestly thought it was going to go really bad. It ended up being a very, very pure interaction with someone. So it was just after COVID. I was bald, I'd shaved my head by this point. I had no hair. I think my eyebrows were just on the way out, to be honest, at this point. And I remember wearing fake eyelashes because they were sparse. Still aren't like, yeah, they're trying. They're not there. Anyway, so I was at the as I was at a bar with my partner, and it's it was when the bars were like you could only sit on every other table. Like, you know, that social distancing was still a thing, you know, even though you could go outside and chat with as many people as you want anyway. It was just like Yeah, it came a point where it was like the rules were becoming real. Yeah, like makes sense, not really. But we were in this bar, me and my partner were chatting, and this I can't remember quite how it happened, but we started chatting to the couple across from us. And my partner could tell this couple was looking at us, and particularly me, and he's not shy to confront like confrontate someone, like yeah, whatever the word is. Uh be confrontational and like ask them why are you staring? Look at me staring down the lens. Um but he basically asked, Is there a part can I help you with something? Is everything okay? And it turned out that the woman, a part of this couple, actually had um terminal cancer, and she was wearing a wig, which I actually couldn't tell. Oh it was a very, very good wig, couldn't tell. And um she was lovely. We ended up moving closer tables with them, so he went shouting across the whole bar. And um yeah, we got we got chatting to them, it was lovely, and then about half an hour past, we'd like stopped talking by this point, got on our own kind of tables, our own groups, and all of a sudden I saw I see um like a bold person walk out of the women's toilets, and I'm like, oh, there's another person like like me. It was her. She took her wig off in the bathroom and come out. Obviously, she went, It was irritating me, and I saw you, and I was like, sod it, let's do it. So she just felt inspired by me being me. So the likes of thinking like the representation we're over it, no, we're really not. Because it really does matter and it really does make a difference.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Oh, that's so sweet.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

So that's my story. Just to sum up on like a positive on of why like inclusivity and representation, we're not tired of it. No, like we ain't napping right now, it's happening and it needs to happen. Um but just a story to end on why it needs to happen. So yeah. 100%. Yeah, and I think that comes to a close for this podcast. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

On Little Sneepycon next week's episode, um, we are going to be talking about Fashion. Fashion. Fashion. Fashion and anything surrounding fashion and how it's basically up and coming.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Yeah, and a bit of the cosmetics industry as well that comes into play a bit. Um so yeah, and we're very excited for that one.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

Also, yeah, oh go on. I was about to say that also. Also, if there's a topic or a discussion that you're passionate about that we've not yet covered, um, please let us know in the comments, message us, like anywhere that you can reach us, let us know and we will talk about it. Yeah, we'll dive right in. Yeah. Very excited. We, as you can tell, we are very passionate about disability and difference and the world and all that jazz. So yeah, if you're also interested, we'll hope you can sit down with us again next Wednesday.