One Arm, One Year, One Mission: Kai Dacosta

Join hosts Zara and Faith in this powerful episode of Sit Down With Us as they chat with the incredibly charismatic Kai D Costa. 

Kai shares his unbelievable journey from a life-altering motorbike crash at age 18 to becoming a model, public speaker, and master of health psychology. After waking up paralyzed from the neck down following a spinal surgery, Kai fought back through multiple surgeries and chronic pain. 

Realizing the standard medical approach wasn't giving him the answers he needed, he took his recovery into his own hands by changing his mindset, studying the psychology of pain, and healing himself.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hi, I'm Zara and I'm Faye. And we would like you to sit down with us every Wednesday. So on today's episode, we have a special guest, aka Kai aka, my husband.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Thank you for having me, guys. It's lovely to be sat here with my wife, I must say.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

So if you guys have been watching our episodes from the beginning, you know we did dating and Faith here has been in a relationship for seven years. Yeah. I've been single until now. Or have I?

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Mm-hmm. So the question. So we're gonna get into that. So Kai, would you like to introduce yourself?

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yeah, my name's Kai DaCosta. My full name is Kai Francisco Terence DaCosta. I love that. I've never called it. Thank you. It's a very mafia name. Do you know what I mean? I like it. I mean, I feel like you know what it is. I feel like when I laid that down, I'm like, yeah, I'm either gonna be an awful or I'm gonna rob you. Who knows? Do you know what I mean? Like, um, and yeah, I'm called Guided by Kai on socials. I have a YouTube channel called The Guided By Series.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Yeah. We'll put all the links in the use follow in the description.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

And also don't forget to follow the podcast. Do you know what I mean? Sit down with us because you've got to support these incredible two independent strong women. Do you know what I mean? Out here.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Okay, you can definitely stay, you can definitely come back. We can definitely come back.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Um but yeah, obviously I do modelling like you guys do, signed with Zebedee. Shout out to Zebody every single time. Um, public speaker for a public health campaign, help run nights, and I'm generally just a personality.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

We love Kai. Yes. We love Kai jinx.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

We're gonna that's gonna be that's gonna be a tag on my videos, it's gonna be you.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

We love Kai. We love Kai. So speaking about the photo shoot that you know announced the wedding. Would you like to dive into a little bit of that?

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Yes, obviously, recently um me and Zara got married. I had the best day of my life of marrying this absolutely beautiful human. It was, you know, I've got to wheel her down the aisle, which was an absolute honour, it really was. Um, but no, we we got yeah, we did an age uh a gig with what was the name of the uh organization? Hospitium in York. Yeah, the York Hospitium. Um it was absolutely incredible. Lovely team, by the way. Honestly, incredible team, and the venue, so accessible. Actually, accessible.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Like I know sometimes venues are like, oh, we're accessible, but like except from those things like genuinely accessible through the house.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

And it was built in the 1400s. Wow. So there is no excuse for any place not being accessible. Like it's honestly immaculate, it really is. Really beautiful venue, and just a really good day, and obviously, really nice getting to know you more. Really was.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

But yeah, so obviously, if you're not caught on, that was an April Falls. We are in fact actually not married. Happy April Falls Day, everybody. I am I am still for the taking, if anyone's watching, any single eligible batchers are watching, but anyway, let's talk about your story.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Yeah, so my story starts back in 2015. Um, people that follow me would have heard this story about 400 times, so apologies there.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

But I love a personal story though, even the more you talk about it, the more you hear and actually are in tune with the person. Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Well, and I like I do love tennis, it's a huge part of me and my identity, which is nice. Um, but yeah, I was a mechanic up until the age of 18. 8th of May 2015, got involved in a motorbike crash where the nerve that controls my left arm, called the brachial plexus, tore from my spinal cord, which means that my left arm is permanently just dead, doesn't work. Um, over the next few years, after coming to grips, rather ironically, with the loss of my arm, I um I started, you know, studying psychology, you know, started doing music, started doing things that aided me in my recovery and helped me come to grips with the situation. Um, obviously artistic stuff and psychological stuff. Um went to college, did really well in in this access course, which is like um social sciences, so to do sociology and psychology. And I was never academic at school. I was always very hands-on, but obviously when you lose an arm, you can't do that no more. So I was like, I bet I start using the I mean I love the use of humour.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Yeah, because I'm the same. Yeah, we have to.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

If you're gonna have to do it, definitely um yeah, I got to university, um, but I was collapsing all the time and they they didn't know why, and it turns out that I had a herniated spinal cord, so where the nerve pulled out my spinal cord, it damaged the spinal cord. Um, and I was just so the the the signals that were being sent from your mind to your body weren't being sent sometimes, and it would just stop being sent, so I'd just like collapse randomly, which is obviously terrifying because you're like, oh my god. And I just got to uni in 2018, literally was there like two weeks doing threshes and stuff, and I got a call from a guy called Barry White. Not the he, you know, I mean more this was this was a this was a spinal surgeon in Nottingham. A professional call. Very cool geezer though, very chill. Um and uh and he was like, You need urgent spinal surgery. Went in for an operation, dropped out of uni, woke up paralyzed from the neck down, regained upper body movement. Um, but with the you know, after a few days regained upper body movement with the exception of the left arm, but my legs were completely gone, neurological loss. Did neurological rehabilitation, you know, walk-in rehab, all that, but obviously it's stroke rehab, so it's because I only have one arm, it's very, you know, you can't use the beams or anything like that. It's it takes a lot longer in essence. Um but I got out of the wheelchair, got back to university, was in immense pain. They said the pain was a result of the spinal cord injury again, gave me an upper operation, more disabled, more in pain, gave me an upper operation. By this point, it was 2021. I had three spinal ops, I was more disabled than ever, I was more in pain than ever. And they were saying I needed another spinal break. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And it just felt like I was I wasn't being listened to. Yeah, it felt like a vicious circle, but like the most vicious circle ever. Like it was paralysing my life, it was debilitating pain. It was like, so I just so I started saying to my doctors, I was like, I think you've missed something. I think there's something that you guys have missed. This pain is being it's attributed to something else, because the more you're healing me, the more damaged I'm becoming. Um, so I started studying pain, um, looking at pain as you know, as opposed to being just a biological thing, which is what the biomedical model in the NHS teaches most of the time. Um, well, what they're kind of like falsified under at the moment, because we're going through the time of change at the moment, where we're going from a biological approach to a biopsychosocial, which is a biological, psychological, and sociological approach. So it's a more holistic approach. So it's taking account your emotions, it's taking into account your situation, your context, taking into account who you are as a person, because you're not just bones, muscle, nerves, you're a human. And when you're in a hospital bed and when you're paralyzed, it's not just affecting your body, it's affecting every aspect of your life. Um, and then from that, I learned so much about pain, I healed myself in essence, and I came with all the medication I was on, stopped doing the soil surgeries, got back in the gym, started getting back to yoga, got back to university, did really well at my degree, ended up doing my master's, going on to do my master's in health psychology, got hired by a public health campaign, got signed with a disabled modeling agency, and now my life, my bread and my butter is pain and disability.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

And here you are today.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Here we are today.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

Such an inspiration. That is a mad life. That's a roller coaster.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Yeah, it's been a crazy journey, like actually mad, like genuinely a crazy.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

I'm waiting for the film.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Yeah, well, I think that's to be honest with you, like, so that's one aspect of my life, the disability. Obviously, I had a crazy life before it. I grew up in East London. I grew up, you know, I'm from a mixed background, I grew up in a very impoverished part of London. I had a very, you know, um, what would you call it, like rough childhood. Do you know what I mean? Like it was on the streets of London. Then I went from that to being in a little village when I was going into high school, moved into the Midlands. My dad's like the first ethnic person in the village. Do you know what I mean? Like, I've gone from being in a very poor area to being a poor person in a very rich area. And like, you know, we're in the council houses on one end of the village, and the other end, it's like manor houses, big yards. And I'm now for the first time, even though I'm in the best situation I've ever been, I'm in a lovely house in front of strawberry fields in the Midlands, I've never felt more oppressed because my dad's been, you know, people taking a piss out about my dad because he's ethnic. People are there, they're like, you know, oh, you're poor, you know, you live in a council house. They don't understand what that means. And it's mad because they're calling me poor then. I thought I was poor when I was in London. I felt rich when I was in this field. I was like, I'm in front of strawberry fields, I'm surrounded by all you lot with helicopters and boats and all that. Like, I'm the most rich I've ever been. Like, um, so yeah, I've had a lot of drastic change in my life. It's been a very but the beautiful thing about that is with change comes resilience, with change comes capability, with change comes adaptability, and it just gives you more of a stronger mind, which means yeah, you can overcome different stuff.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Yeah, and with change comes growth overall as well, absolutely throughout life.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

Yeah. So yeah. Speaking of the film about you, who would you like to play it?

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Oh that's so that's a great question, Zara. That is a brilliant question. I mean, let's be honest, Johnny Depp. Let's be fair. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I mean, I think he would do a good job. I think when I'm older as well, by that point it would probably be to uh too old, but I think Johnny Depp would do a great job. And I I do, you know, I do, I do feel like I am a you know, B Tech Jack Sparrow. Do you know what I mean? I feel like give yourself more credit than that. Yeah, I'm not beat, I'm more Timu. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

No. Well, Johnny Depp, yeah, I could see that.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Yeah, I think that'd be good. Or I don't know. I'd watch that.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

I would as well.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Well, if anyone wants to sign me to a film, that'd be great. But yeah, I feel like at the moment I'm on a I feel like a lot of my life after the crash was trying to kind of like I know kind of I wanted my I wanted my story not to go unnoticed because I went through such a devastating experience that I was like, I want to be heard for the first time. And I have the personality type now and the confidence now to be like, I can actually be heard and I can actually be seen, I can actually be a person that can actually this is what I've done, this is what I've achieved, this is what I want to do next. Um, but I feel like I fell into this trap of when I became disabled, like I want I just wanted people to I wanted to be famous just because I was disabled. I know it sounds ridiculous, no genuinely, but I realised, I was like, I I realised that like people don't subscribe to that. Like as much as I wanted people to care, people are so busy with their own lives, people don't care. So I was like, okay, how can I make people care about my disability? So I went down the music avenue, I've lost it on the modelling, the public space. Everything I do is down the avenue of okay, how can I make it known that I'm doing this while every day facing pain and struggle? And that's like that's what I want it to be about. I want it to be like, I'm gonna get to exactly where you are, but I'm gonna do it fighting my demons every single day and fighting the inaccessibility of the situation and fighting all of the you know trials and tribulations that I face every single day.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Yeah, I feel like it's because the public with what they see online, they want it to be perfect, yeah, because they want to see a life that they could potentially have, even though everything you see online is fake, yeah, most likely.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

And I think when people watch your content or my content or anyone else who's disabled has a difference, they don't necessarily think about what you do behind the camera.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Well, you know, I put out a very positive, very optimistic view of what it is to be a disabled man, to the point where it's like most people would not even be aware of the struggles I face. Like, you know, most of my stories are when I'm up and about doing stuff. But the majority of the time I'm not up and about. I have chronic fatigue, I have a lot of pain and I have obviously a lot of disabling attributes. Do you know what I mean? So it's like I struggle a lot of times to get out of bed, I struggle to do this stuff. So but I don't promote that as much. No, because I want to be, I don't want to be, you know, pitied. I don't want to be, I want people to be like, oh my god, he's doing so well. Because I am. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

And I think sometimes it's like those violin-esque stories get more views and things. And I'm like, why? Yeah. That really bothers me sometimes because like, why do I have to like dish my dirty laundry in a way?

SPEAKER_02 10:44

It's almost like people prefer when you're down rather than your journey up. Yeah. They love to they love to hear your worst moments rather than oh, 100% your best.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

I always think back to when I was in the actual pits of my disability, and I was saying if I posted then, I would have been gone viral already. Do you know what I mean? I would have said if I posted when I was in debt suit, but because I've posted me doing well after the fact, people are just like, I've always been like that. Exactly. It's like, but it's I think it's one of those. It's also, I think that at the end of the day, like, people are just so caught up in their own lives that to make people care about you and your life, you really have to go above and beyond. Which is why I am trying to do every single thing I can in my life to to be as above and beyond as I can, be it with the YouTube, with the challenges I set myself, with the career choices I've gone on with. Do you know what I mean? I'm trying to. There's a famous Joe Rogan clip. I don't want to be that freaking cliche like you know, Gen Z man to reference Joe Rogan here, but I'm gonna be that guy. And it goes, if you act, if you act out every day as if a camera crew is following you around, one day they will be.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

Ooh, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

And I like it because it's like if you just wake up every single day and you have the mind state that, all right, there's a crew behind me right now and they want me to, they want to follow me on my best day. How am I gonna do it? I'm gonna wake up, I'm gonna do my yoga, I'm gonna make my bed, I'm gonna get showered, I'm gonna go gym, I'm gonna go jummy, I'm gonna do all these things that break it. And and it's you know, it's you know, doing that once isn't gonna change your life. Doing it every day consistently will genuinely change your life. And then one day you'll wake up and there will be a camera crew there, and there will be people like, How did you do it? And you'll be like, I just stayed consistent and I just put myself out there.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

It's also like it's always seen as cringe until you're there. Until it works, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Look at Mr. Beast, look at Kai Sonet, look at you know, every famous per you know, every single famous person is, you know, Lady Gargoy's renowned, she was bullied, renowned when she was younger because people were like, How are you gonna be the you know the most successful um female singer in the world? And it's like, well, she did. She did it.

SPEAKER_03 12:32

99% of the people who are successful have been bullied at some point. Oh yeah, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

There was I did a podcast um with a few um like um like personal trainers and like you know PTs and like people with IFBB pros, like you know, big bodybuilders and stuff like that. And um I like one of my most clipped um clips from that podcast is me saying that you know, uh the small guy walks into the gym and he tells everyone in the gym that he's gonna be the biggest guy in the gym one day, and every single person laughs, except the biggest guy in the gym, because the biggest guy in the gym was that guy. Like every per Einstein was an idiot at one point. Do you know what I mean? Like where every single person was at their bare minimum, was at their and they just brought, you know, you know, went through that potential and went, you know what, I'm gonna embrace it, and they just became great. And it's and it's difficult. But you have to fight a lot of the time, you're not fighting external demons, you're fighting internal ones. You're fighting how am I being represented, how am I being shown, how am I being when in actual fact, as long as you're putting yourself out there and you're being honest, true, and authentic, then no one's anyone that hates you is an idiot.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

Amen to that. Love. So it's actually interesting having a male per se perspective on the pod today, as we've not had that before. No, actually, no, and someone with a physical disability as myself, but obviously you're the male version, and because in my DMs, in my DMs, apart from crickets, there's nothing else going on. But word on the street, it's not always the case for men.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Um well, I would say so I think I'm a bit of an anomaly, um, in the sense of m all of my men, men mates, all of my male friends get no attention in any way. But I think as a disabled man, I'm quite a vulnerable man and I'm quite an expressive man. I talk a lot of I'm very, you know, you know where you stand with me in the sense. Um, and I'm very easy to talk to. So I think people, you know, I'm quite approachable. And also the thing is when you're dating, is that obviously, you know, women have a lot of fear dating because they're going around to a person they've never met, they're going out with a strange man. A lot of there could be a lot of negative repercussions that could happen, a lot of bad stuff that could occur. When you're really disabled, like like I am, I'm not very threatening. You know what I mean? Like, no girl's like, oh my god, what if I go around? Just walk away. You do what I mean? Like, just like I am so I I am so disabled that's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

I'm sorry, I was not.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

I just more likely, yeah, girls are more likely to be vulnerable with me because they're like, oh, this is a vulnerable man.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

You know what I mean? Okay, that is so true.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not I don't do what I mean, like, and also like you you could both beat me up. No, but you could just gotta sweep the leg a walking stick, like it's not easy to murk me up. So it's like, hi, like women are a lot more likely to get in my DMs and drop me a message because they're like, oh, here's a guy that's open, he knows who he is, he's confident in who he is. Do you know what I mean? I'm not a bad looking geezer, do you know what I mean? I tr I go to the gym, I try and do what I can. So it's like I thought there's a lot of factors that come into it. But I think the yeah, major every other of my disabled male friends do awfully.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

Okay, right, okay. Absolutely awfully. That makes me feel better. So sorry to them, but that makes me feel better.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Yeah, but I think it's it's one of those, isn't it? I think it's very do you know what I mean? I think attraction is a weird thing. I think it comes from internal things for sure. I think um when I have not liked myself as much, I've not dated as much. When I've loved myself more, I've dated more.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

That was definitely me as well. Like I only started dating when or trying to meet someone when I felt more secure in myself with my alopecia. That was the only time when I actually started putting myself out that more. That's the way to go, otherwise you're like projecting your insecurities onto that. But they do say you need to love yourself before you love somebody else, but even when you meet someone else, your love for yourself does go up and down. So it doesn't mean never, yeah, but it's just you need to be accepting of who you are to make the show.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

I'm not gonna lie to you, I feel like I've gotten in some really bad relationships because I've gotten with people when I've been at my lowest and I've actually not loved myself, and I've actually felt like I I've kind of resented myself and I've and I've gotten with people where no doubt, they're not, it's not like they're bad people, but we're not compatible people. So I've just been low and they are low, so we've bonded through that trauma, through that like you know, through that low energy, that low vibration. Um, but now I'm up and I'm you know I'm feeling more vibrant, I'm feeling more me, and I'm you know, I've you know I've done a year of EMDR therapy, so a year and a half of this really intense psychological like reprocessing therapy that looks at re reprocessing complex PTSD. So I have a lot of complex trauma from obviously having the same disability and the same trauma and the same pain occurring over multiple stints, which is what you know differentiates PTSD from complex PTSD. It's when it occurs multiple times and it keeps happening. Um, and after going through that therapy, I realized that a lot of these people I was getting with and a lot of the reasons I was getting with them weren't there weren't they weren't for the best intentions. It was because I was lonely. It was because I I needed affection, I needed validation at that time. And that's why you should have a really good support network in regards to friends and family. Your best relationships, like romantic relationships, will come out of your best friendships and your best, you know, parental relationships and that those primary socializing relationships dictate any future secondary relationship in your life. That's why high school, you know, friendships and you know, those that are so important for socialization, because later on in life, that's what when you when you gain trust of someone, if you had no trust in your childhood, you won't have any trust in your future. So I think it's um yeah, I think you know, the reason why I've done not too bad with women and the reason I'm, you know, is because I'm quite outspoken. I know where I stand, I know what I want, but that is also a negative because it means I've gotten with people when I should have been single, when I should have been isolating, I should have been left alone. I instead got with someone to hide the trauma, to hide the feelings of insecurity, to hide the and that's wrong as well because you project.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Yeah, and I feel like so many people could relate to that watching.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

And I feel like look, I'm not gonna pretend I've not been the bad guy in a relationship. Of course I've been the bad guy.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

Maybe we'll wing toxic at some point in our lives. Come on, guys.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

And I feel like the time, you know, I'm I'm I'm dating a girl at the moment and it's going really well, and she's a very shout out. Yeah, she's she's incredible, she's genuinely really great. And I don't want to put my you know, I don't want to be like, oh my god, like she's the one because obviously I'm young and we're still dating, we're figuring this out, but she's more matched to me than anyone ever has been, in the sense, and that's only because I'm more me than I ever have been. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? So that is, I was gonna, I was gonna find it. I was gonna we were gonna vibe because I was honest, I was authentic, I was genuine. I was like, look, I you know, I really like you, but I can't do a relationship right now because I've been through a you know a stint of bad relationships. And I want and and I said to her, I was like, We we have a couple's page on Instagram, this is my dear, but we're not even in a relationship yet. I said to her, I'm not asking you to be on my girlfriend until we've been dating six months.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Because I went, I just I I need to implement that boundary for me. I was like, you're great, you're fantastic. You I would really love to be with you, but for me, I need a boundary, which is I can't rush into another relationship. So we're doing the dating game, we're chilling, it's really nice. We're posting some stuff because we went viral in a comment section on social media and didn't mean to go viral, and people asking about updates, and we're like, how do we show them updates? We're like, create a little page. So comment section couple, check it out. Um, it's um, but yeah, it's like comment section couple, and it's really it's cute, it's cute, but yeah, it's um yeah, I think being self-aware, being confident in your own abilities, um, regardless of those capabilities or what their abilities are, that that's what lends to a good loving relationship. Love that. You're right. She's like, why is he taking over the such a patriarchal man? What is this man like? Is this my podcast? Go home. I walked in here with long hair, and you guys are just pissed. You're like, no, how dare he?

SPEAKER_02 20:04

How dare he better?

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Trust me, you look better bold than I ever would. So honestly, my my my hair's receding. I'm like, oh, only I can look good as face with no hair. I'm dependent on this for my modeling and training.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

I think we're this giddy because we've had a coffee. Yeah. Tea and coffee. Well, speaking of tea, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

Um, can I ask you a few questions about what what what's your like favourite tea?

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Drama. Has it like the brief? Oh my god. If I'm not in it.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Oh my god, that was absolutely perfect. Like, wow. That's brilliant. This is some tea. As it liked brand of tea. Yeah, like like Tetley, PG. Tetley. You're a Tetley girl. Tetley. What's your opinion?

SPEAKER_02 20:49

I'm an Earl Grey.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Oh, grey, but what L Grey do you have a brand? Like twine. Aldi's own? Aldi's own.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

I'm a basic B over here.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Girls, girls, girls, basic.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

I'm an armhate. I'm a coffee girl.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Do you like matcha?

SPEAKER_02 21:02

No, it tastes like brass.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

You know, matcha like Pilates girl, no? No.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

No, no. Pilates.

SPEAKER_03 21:07

Going back to my roots, armor tea. Persian tea.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Yeah, no, no, you're right. Like, honestly, I did street interviews recently and I asked the public, and all the Iranian people I spoke to, they were like tea or. Oh, all the Iranians.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

Maybe I can just venture out more.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

I'm very basic, I'm like latte, so milk. Armor tea. We've got cinnamon ones. We've got rose petal. Yeah. We've got, what's that? I don't know. Cardamom.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Cardamun does slap. I'm wearing a scentless cardamom at the moment.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

Don't take top.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Honestly, I'm living under a rock.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Yeah, you do you want tea you need to try? Birchill's.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

Birchill's. I don't feel like I've heard that.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Because I rave about it constantly. Birchill's tea. Birchill's tea. It's genuinely like people will come round. They'll come around just on a chill and mate will pop round, you know, and mate will come over after the gym. Like, do you want a cup of tea? I'll make them every single time. If they're new to the tea, they will have the exact they'll slip and go, what is this? Well, that's me coming around for tea. Let's go. I swear to God, this tea is its own advertisement campaign. I'm not even sponsored. Birchill's, please. Please sponsor me. Please. I've been in your DMs, I've emailed you. You're not replying. I need you to understand that your tea is fantastic and I need to rep it.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Oh, if you get a deal with him after this, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Yeah, I'll be gassed. I'll be so gassed. No, genuinely. Really serious question?

SPEAKER_03 22:20

Where's guided come from?

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Guided by. So, um, so the guided by idea came from I had this idea for a podcast actually. Called The Guided By Series. Um, and the podcast was it would be I'd get people on and it'd be like, you know, guided by Faith, guided by Zara. So the reason I'm called Guided by Kai is because it's my guided by journey. Do you know what I mean? It's like I'm guided by myself.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

That's lovely. Um that's where the idea was.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

So the episode with Amy Trusdale, the Paralympian. Shout out to Amy Trusdale, absolutely incredible human. Um, hope you're doing well. Um, she she um her episode on my YouTube channel where she's trying to help me get a six-pack and do a 5k is the guy guided by Amy Trusdale. So it's like, so that's the idea of the premise of being guided by Kai. And also it's this idea of like, you know, whenever you go do something, there's always like a guide, there's always like a formal book on how to do it, anything these days. I'm the idea of burning the book, getting rid of it, and just going out and trying it. Just doing it. Love that. Actively doing it, no matter your capabilities, your physicality, no matter your situation, just going out and actually trying it, regardless of the perfection, just doing it, actively doing it, that's the goal. Do you know what I mean? So that's why I was like guided by Kaida, guided by series. How can I guide myself and get get taught by other people on a journey of self-discovery, self-development, and just becoming a better version of myself.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

Speaking of actively doing it, you are actively a male model.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

I am indeed.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

How is that going?

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Incredibly well. I've uh really unexpected part of the journey, to be honest with you. Because obviously everything I was doing was contributing to the, you know, the the discipline of disability and you know, pain and the broad spectrum of what it is to you know, just be in my situation. The first time I got into modelling was with you, Faith. It was through the Trafford Center campaign.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Yeah, that was insane.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

It was crazy. Was that when you got booked with Zebody?

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

So we got booked under the same casting call.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Mad. And it's been revolutionary for both of our lives, hasn't it? It's genuinely changed up the game. Like it was mad. Well, that was an incredible experience. My mate, my mate um Bridget, she's a sustainability stylist. Yeah. And she she was going down to it. She's actually one of she works at Zebedee now, which is so shout out Bridget, you're killing the game. Um, yeah, she's uh I think she's one of the um stylists. She does just kill it. Um but um she said you should come along. There's this casting call for disabled models, and I never wanted to do modelling in my entire life. Not because you know, I wasn't interested in modelling, but because I never thought I could be a model. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, do you know what I mean? I was always saying, you know, Jack Sparrow looking people with one arm and walking sticks on the front of Vogue. So I was like, do you know what I mean? It was it was just something that I'd never even thought of before. And it was beautiful because we went to the casting call so many people, as you know, in the Trafford Center, it was a ridiculous thing.

SPEAKER_02 24:48

So I remember getting there at 11am because I had an event in the evening. That's the only reason why I went, because I was gonna be in Manchester anyway. So I thought, why not kill two hours in a queue? And honestly, I was in two hours in that queue until I got there, but I knew I had nothing else to do about pick up some nails, like that was it. So yeah, but I went there for two hours and you just got chatting to everyone there. It was a really nice day.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

It really was, it really was.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Yeah, and they were really lovely when you got to the end, but yeah, that was my first ever casting, like putting myself out there like that.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Well, I was surprised because obviously before that, before any of the modelling stuff, any of the public speaking stuff, before any of the, you know, the the you know, any of the the new version of Kai, the guided by Kai, I was called GGK, Green Guy Kai. And it was my I had a I did release loads of rap music, I did music all around Manchester, all around the country, got on BBC Radio, did load gigs, headline show. It was really, it was great. But obviously, after the the real disability started hitting me with the paralyzation from the neck and waist down, I couldn't bring the energy on stage. I was in a wheelchair, I couldn't, I couldn't be jumping around anymore. I couldn't jump, I mean it was all just it kind of went. So I was like, how can I tell people about my story without you know jumping around on stage? So I got into like the more public speaking, spoken word type stuff because with spoken word, you can sit in front of a room, everyone's dead silent, you'd have to bring energy, you can just bring passion, you can just speak. Yeah, do you know what I mean? It becomes a lot more visceral and a lot more like, oh wow. And then from that, obviously, I started you know putting myself out there in more of the disabled world. When I got to this casting call, I had no idea when I got to the front that Zoe already followed me on Instagram. No, no, you're your GGK. I've been following you, I've seen your whole recovery. Can't have your arts about. So obviously, when I was telling her about, you know, that I don't do I didn't do the GGK stuff anymore. I'm actually now doing this guided by Kai stuff and I'm doing a lot of disabled advocacy, public speaking. She was exactly what she wanted to hear because she was like, oh my god, like we're looking for models that are trying to be spoken about disability, trying to so um it all just happened at the perfect time, and obviously, it's given me new opportunities. Obviously, got to do the London Fashion Week was an incredible opportunity with um Unhidden. Shout out Victoria Jenkins.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

How was that?

SPEAKER_01 26:48

It was absolutely incredible. A knackerin day was obviously travelling down to London the day before. I got to see my granddad, which was nice. Yeah, he's like 90 now, so and I've never just chilled just me and him.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

Oh, and I learned so much. Like I didn't even know I've got like Indian heritage, like his mum was Indian. I always thought I was just like Jamaican, Irish, Portuguese, and a few other things.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

Just just the just just the five different things.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Now I know why I can cook rice so well. I was like, I knew I was the best at cooking rice. I smash it every time. There had to be a genetic predisposition to this. There's lineage to this. Do you know what I mean? Like, um the answer to why you can cook rice. Love that. Long story short, incredible opportunity, really good day. Um, but yeah, obviously, as a disabled model, it's it's difficult, isn't it? Running around, doing all these gigs, and then yeah, and trying to look great in front of the camera when you're riddled with fatigue and you're knackered and you're in pain and you're like, oh god.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

So it did seem like a long day.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

It was um great day. And there was, I think, because there's so there were so many disabled people there, like everyone on the catwalk was disabled. That's nice, though. There wasn't a single person there, other than some people helping organise and staff helping get us drinks, refreshments, who wasn't disabled. So it was a really nice situation. Everyone around you is from the same boat. Do you know what I mean? Obviously, different life, everyone's got a different disability, all unique in our own ways, but we're all coming from the same situation of you know, we've struggled, you know, we've not been represented, now we are here to be represented. Yeah, and um, they had a band as well. The band played as we were going down the catwalk. It was it was a disabled song about that the oppression of disabled people, and it was like proper heavy metal song, and it was just like the whole event was really well orchestrated. Like Victoria did a really great job.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

So it was a runway, wasn't it? Yeah, it was, and obviously people saw it from the runway's perspective. Well, behind the scenes was it actually accessible.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

It was, it was, it was accessible for sure behind the scenes. Obviously, like any event, there's a high it's a high stress thing. It's London Fashion Week to Victoria. This would have been like a huge revolution. I mean, it's massive. She's done it before, but it's still you're doing a disabled runway at London Fashion Week, you're changing the game. We are still new to the scene, yeah. But obviously, there's a lot of stress that comes with that, and obviously, like, you know, yeah, I remember it, you know, in parts we're all you know, before going on the cat, we were all in this room, and we're all like, you know what I mean, we're all like getting pumped and stuff like that. But everyone's so supportive. Everyone, you know, when you go on these gigs, when we've gone on these gigs, with everyone is so supportive in the situation. Um, so I you know, I would I I would love to show you some gossip about how there was some behind-the-scenes mockery or something. Gandalf. It was all great, it was all really well handled, Corey's ears, but yeah, other than the fact that the the food was a co-op meal deal, other than that, it was all great. But we had the best experience on Trafford Centre, and that was my first module.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Yes, they did. They try it, they set the bar high.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

They did, right? Setting the bar high. They did. I was like, when's Madrid coming? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, I was uh it was insane. It was insane. It was really good. Have you what what about you guys? How has the modelling been for you guys? Like, have you has it has it been like generally? Have you tried acting? Have you tried voiceover stuff?

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Tried, I've tried acting, so we're doing acting, we're actually doing acting classes. We are doing acting classes, yeah, to get into it. But I it's it's an experience, yeah. So I did a recent kind of walk-on-roll. So they we're now called supported artists rather than extras, yeah, yeah. Support an artist. Which I feel like it's better. Yeah, I enjoyed the term. Yeah. And it was a production set in Manchester. Uh it's coming out very soon. And um again, older Andy, I don't really want to say anything, but the production-wise, during the catering, so in terms of like disability access, unfortunately, our green room, there was only stairs access. Yeah. Um, I think we were there on that day. Yeah. And there was no other way to get into this green room other than stairs, and I just thought they knew we were coming. Yeah. They could have kind of prepared a little bit more. Yeah. But for me, on the dietary stance of everything, I also have celiac disease.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Yes, I actually remember this.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

Yeah. And we've just had um autoimmune disease awareness month back in March, and this was very pivotal for me. So they gave me food and because they will provide lunch on set, and I asked for celiac friendly, gluten-free. They showed me a photo saying that it would be gluten-free, but I'm sure there was like a star by it, which normally means that you have to ask upon request. And they gave me this food, and I'd convinced myself from them convincing me that it was gluten-free, and obviously. Well, you would trust your trust, yeah. They're looking after you that day, so you trust them. Yeah, three hours later it was not gluten-free. Oh gosh. Um, and so for me that was the kind of carelessness, I don't know, or just lack of awareness on their half upon dietary and how seriously they need to take things other than people's well-being, that also comes into play. Yeah. But that's the only issue I personally had because I did a shoot in Germany about a year ago, and they were great there. They were asking me if I was too cold, too warm. Yeah, because obviously, with having no hair, my body temperature fluctuates up and down, like you wouldn't believe. So I could be cold one minute, sweating. Five seconds later, I'm freezing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

I'm the exact same. My body can't regulate homeostasis, so it's like because of spinal cord injury, I'm like a menopausal woman. I'll be sitting there, it'll be snow outside, and I'll be like sweating, like you'll see vapour. It'll be like, what happened to Kai? It'll be like, it's not evaporating. My mum fanning each other at the back, like, oh gosh.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Yeah, but they they were great. They um always had like a dressing gown, like onset. If it got too cold, they put it on. Like they were wonderful. Or they had a fan, if got yeah, so they were always great, and I've never had any issues for me personally. They've just loved that I only take half the time straps to my hair. Yeah. Only my makeup. So valid.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Right? Why that's the I'm like the opposite. They only have they never have to do my hair. Like it's not other than tying it up, there's not much they can do. So it's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

So you have that. That's brilliant. Yeah, so that's all I've experienced personally.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Yeah, on that shoot, I remember because I remember the first day you went home, the second day I went home. You did. Yeah, because of the fatigue. Yeah. Because it was like 11-hour days of waiting around. Like it was honestly like it was in and like they would keep saying something had happened, and it's like something like you're waiting for something to happen. You're like on the edge of your seat, but it was like that was the whole day.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

Yeah. And some people were there from like 7 a.m. or like the call time. They weren't used till about 4 p.m.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

I I actually said to Dom, my agent, afterwards, I said that I I'm not gonna do any more of that work because it was for the days, for the money, you know, equipped. I just couldn't, it didn't make sense. I was out of action for two days afterwards. Like, you know what I mean? They're only paying me for a day, but because of the amount of work I put in, the amount of fatigue my body went through, and I was in agony by the end of the second day. I literally had to tell them, I need to go home. Like, I'm in so much pain, I'm absolutely exhausted. Like, one day of that I could do, two, no chance. And obviously, yeah, with the celiacs, with the everything that you went through as well.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

It's like I do feel though, because of my look, they had me in shock a lot because of my look. So I feel like they just used the bald head. Like I they didn't really use me as an as a supporting artist, they just used the bald head to be inclusive in that moment. I did feel like that a lot.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

I so resonate, which is like I go back to what I was saying earlier about like being seen and being heard as a disabled person. You it is one or tover. Like it feels like either you are kind of like look at what happens during Pride Month. All of these incredibly terrible companies will start posting all of the rainbow flags and all stuff like that as a way of just saying, Oh, look, we care, and that's what they're doing at the moment with disability in a lot of the ways. They're just kind of inputting us. Don't get me wrong, most of these campaigns I've been on, these inclusivity campaigns, have been genuinely respectful and taken into consideration who I am as a person. But there will always be a select few that will use you for your bold head, use you for your wheelchair, use me for my walking stick, use because we fit a certain look, and then that means they can tick that off, done, they've done their bit, sorted, but then they're actually making no adjustments, they're making no they're not actually doing anything to promote, you know, equality or equity within our lives or accessibility or anything like that.

SPEAKER_03 34:49

That goes beyond media, like for example, with my jobs previously, um I mean, I mean the with my job now, it's like modeling and like in a public eye or whatever, but like with previous jobs, it was like completely like a nine to five, and it'd be like they'd do like a different disability awareness training once, and then crickets for like the rest of the time. And I'm like, but like it what's happened? Like, there's new people coming on, like they're not gonna get this trading. No, no, and it's like, why? It's just like a tick box at one time, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

It is annoying, it really is. And it's I think it's like there's always there is always gonna be barriers, I think, when they're trying to do inclusive stuff because obviously they wanna it's a weird one for these people that are creating the campaigns, I imagine, because they're in a rock and hard place where they wanna obviously include disabled people, they also don't want to kind of manipulate people and use people for their disability. And it's like so it's yeah, it's it's one of those. The thing like I rem I was listening to your podcast before I came, and it was uh and there was uh yeah, don't forget to not followed, you've not you've not shared this to your Insta story, what you're doing really independent disabled people, like come on. Uh yeah, yeah, gotta give it that drive there. Um, I was listening to your pod, and there was a bit where he's talking about acting and about you know all these roles where you know, as a disabled person, we're not gonna be able to do abled-bodied roles. Like, that's not a we can I can't do the walk on, I mean, like, can you just walk normally for this take? Like, no, I can't do that. Like, do you know what I mean? So it's like in those roles where they can put a disabled person on, it would be great if they could, but obviously an actor's job is to act. So they have to do what I mean, obviously their job is to play someone that they're not. Do you know what I mean? So there is a there has to, I think there has to be a level of um like understanding, be it from the abled-bodied sense and from the disabled bodied sense, of just being like, look, we know there's a long way to go here, and we know that we're not always gonna get it right, but as long as we're going, yeah, constantly getting people on, we're constantly having this discussion when we're talking about that's the important thing that needs to be, you know, to have pain. Before you start with your next question, yeah. I'm gonna drop this one. If you was to give up alcohol or tea for an entire year, which one would you give up?

SPEAKER_03 36:51

Alcohol.

unknown 36:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:54

Are you alright then? Are you with us?

SPEAKER_02 36:55

I'm well to face thing is just tea.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Tea.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

No, I don't drink it anyway. You don't drink tea?

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Well, barely. Like I prefer a coffee.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Yeah, but coffee's so like intense and so like uh coffee's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Have you met me?

SPEAKER_01 37:12

That's so jokes. That's so jokes. No, I yeah, coffee's morning for me. Tea is any any part. I can have tea in the morning, tea at night.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

I'm seeing this question in a different way. I'm seeing it as am I strong enough to live without alcohol for a year? And I'd like to. Oh, I think I am. See, that's how I've answered it.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

That's what I'm doing. So my 30 by 30 challenge on middle of December, well, I started the 12th of January, officially, would have been a year if that was my birthday when I turned 29. But from the middle of December, I've not drank any alcohol and I'm doing a whole year completely.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

Oh, I would love to do that.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Replacing it with tea.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

So, like anywhere I go on a night out, I'm just drinking tea. Anytime I think I'm drinking tea. I'm just, yeah, and I've called it the tea journey. So it's just one thing of the yeah. So it's like obviously the this year is about 30 challenges before I turn 30. What number are you on? Uh, well, it's that's the thing. So a lot of the challenges I can't tick off until the end of the year. So I've obviously not do drinking alcohol for a year. I've started, but I can't tick it off until the end of the year. Um, one of them's getting a six pack. Love to have. See, I'm trying it at the moment. Amy Truesdale, we're trying them, we we really are. Um, and do a 5K is one of them. One of them's becoming a stand-up comic. So I'm working with a comedy club at the moment called Creatures Comedy. I've been speaking to them, they're gonna get me doing some street interviews for them and stuff like that. Also, they put on a lot of you know comics and stuff, and I've always wanted to, rather ironically, do stand-up comedy, like comedy. So I was like, I thought of irony. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like, why not? I'm falling over all the time. Might as well get paid for it. Do you know what I mean? Like, um, and there's a few other challenges along the way that I want to do, like, you know, try and become an international public speaker. So do my first international gig abroad, like doing public speaking, um, some travel stuff, some food stuff as a you know, with uh an asylum seeker called Amul, get my diet in a best. So there's loads of uh everything's around self-development. How can I become a better person this year? So when I turn 30, I'm the version of myself that I wanted to be when I'm 30.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

That's amazing. Just to clarify, I can go a year without alcohol, I'd just rather not. I mean, so she says. So she can. I couldn't go a year, I couldn't go a year without coffee. Sorry, so if it was between kicking me now. Does it mean to? Oh no, it's you've put it off camera, so you can't even see it. But if it was between coffee and alcohol, I can't give up coffee. You can't? No. I love coffee.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

I'm dependent on coffee for mornings.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

And you know what? Decaf's a thing.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

Yes. I drink decaf. Don't get me wrong. I still feel like I'm like sitting there jittering because the psychological effect, the smell, it's just too much. Like I'm just there, like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

I do wish I was a tea drinker. Like, I wish I was like a 6am morning walk with a little caramel. No, not caramel, that's for like evening. Yeah. Like lemon and ginger in the floor. You can sleep on the way to walk. See? Lemon and ginger in the morning. Yeah, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

These conversations make me want to give up alcohol for a year.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Yeah. Well, like, do you guys drink a lot?

SPEAKER_03 39:55

No. No. So this is I'm like this, right? So I didn't hadn't drank for like until like mid-feb. Yeah. That's like beginning of January till mid-feb. And then now I've got like three um night outs back to back every night. So like I'm eat I'm all or nothing. Yes. It's almost like alcohol.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

Well, that's I'm not gonna lie to you. I've been I've never been a big drinker, but I feel like a lot of my mates, all of my mates are like musicians, they're always doing events for that. So I'm constantly at these events, and I feel like over the last year in 2025, I probably drank more in that year than I ever have. And although I wasn't trying to, it was just happened.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

Social drinking.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

I was just drinking like every week. I was having and I realized that it was just like I'm putting like it's a neurotoxin, it's an actual poison. I have too much chronic pain already for any more inflammation in my body. Like I'm already fighting against that every single day. So it's like I thought, you know, I get prescribed, you know, medical zarzar anyway. I mean, I'm not gonna say the word because I know that the algorithm don't like it too much, but I get I get that legally anyway.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

Medically.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

Yeah, legally, medically with a prescription via a doctor. And if you want more information about it, check me out on Instagram at guided by car. Hit me up seriously. Um and it's the only time I was like, look, I already got I already got my vice. I've already got my vice that helps me, that helps me sleep, that helps me in my recovery, that aids me. I don't need another vice that is ruining my sleep, causing me more pain and having a negative impact on my life. Most people can drink Alcarn be fine. I'm just not one of those people. So slightly.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

Yeah, I think for me, I I did uni, but I did uni through COVID. Yeah. And so so COVID was two years of my university experience, and I was there for four years while I did my BA, then my master's. And so I had some feral nights to where I blacked out, yeah. And like I've done the way too much, and I've had a drink to get drunk to enjoy myself rather than drinking for enjoying the drink. Yeah. So my last holiday, we went to Bernador, me and my partner, and we both had a night and we were like, why are we here? Like, we're not enjoying this. We'd rather like listen to our each other's conversations or people watch. And I remember getting a takeaway early that day because there was a really nice like noodle place that did rice noodles, and I could have them. Yeah. So we ended up getting some noodles one night and just people watching, and we were honestly stone cold sober in the middle of an ador. And you can grow out of it, and that's not true. Yeah, so I think now I drink more for the taste, yeah, rather than like, and for an occasion, yeah, rather than like let's get on it. No, that's not me.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

And I think we were saying this earlier that we act drunk being completely sober. Yeah. So we don't need the drinks.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

This is so this is the most important thing that I've realized since not drinking alcohol. See, I run a lot of events in Manchester. I help uh host this event called Show Up, which is like a jam night, open mic. Shout out all the team at Show Up, you're incredible. Really nice night on a Tuesday night in Manchester, really chill night. And most of the time I was hosting it, I'd have a few drinks because it would help ease the nerves. Since I've not drank alcohol, I am so much more confident and so much better at being a host because I'm not dependent on anything to be me now. I'm just confident, I'm oozing out charisma. I'm like, oh my god, like and I can be in front of all these people and feel there's no part of me that doesn't want to be there. There's no part of me that feels like it needs to hide away, that it needs like that boundary to be like eradicated through the use of alcohol anymore. So it's like I feel like my confidence and in what I thought was that I would be less of the life of a party when I drank out when I didn't drink alcohol. What I've learned is I'm actually, I am the life of the party. Do you know what I mean? Like it's do you know what I mean? I don't need I don't need the I'm ADHD enough. I'm confident enough that I can just jump into your life and be like, yeah, what we're doing? Do you know what I mean? Like, so it's like, yeah, I don't I don't need the Zambuka for that. I've got it, I've got it in me.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

I think as well with age, hangovers just get worse. Oh god. Like 18 having their first drink, enjoy the hangover. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Enjoy that. Please. Can wake up and go gym on a hangover. I I'm dead for three days. I turned 24. Yeah. Gone. Yeah, out of action. And the thing is, I don't even need a lot of alcohol to get a hangover now. I can just drink a pint and I'll wake up and I it's not that I feel like, oh, I've got a really bad hang. I just don't feel optimal. I don't feel like and the thing is like, I need to be optimal because when I'm slightly below optimal, I'm on the floor. Like literally, just like, I know. So it's like I need to, like, I need to be as like working as optimal. Need I need my sleep. I need my food. I need my yoga. I need my these things that I crucially, as a disabled man, if I don't do, I will be falling over, I will be in a bad way. I'll be and it's yeah, an alcohol sink that I just don't need.

SPEAKER_02 44:14

So anyway, we've learned about the 30 things you're doing before you're 30. Indeed. But what else is in the works for you? Career-wise, life-wise, watch out for.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

Watch out for. Alright, so I've got a few things on the agenda. So obviously, I've started this YouTube channel. I started on the 12th of January this year, and it was the idea of doing 30 things before I'm 30. So that's going to take me a year. And obviously, when I finish that year, I'm not quitting YouTube. I'm going to, that's like the intro to you know what I want to do, which is a lot of a lot of cool stuff. I want to go on a lot of adventures. I want to do a lot of content creation. I had an idea, a really rigid idea of who I was over the last few years that's changed a bit and become a bit more malleable since getting the modelling contract, since doing a lot more public-facing roles and getting jobs with different people. I've realized that I want to do more public-facing stuff. And originally I just wanted to go into research, get a PhD in peer pain psychologist because I knew a lot about pain. But I knew a lot about pain because the NHS didn't, and I had to learn about pain in order to learn about myself and get through my situation. Now I'm through that situation. I don't want to be restricted to just being a pain guy. I want to do content, I want to do music, I want to do food, I want to explore life. Do you know what I mean? I want to do a lot of stuff, a lot of fitness stuff as well. Um, career-wise, this makes things a bit difficult because it's a lot easier just to be a pain psychologist and you know get a nine to five and earn money and stuff like that. Being a personality, being an entertainer, being a model, being a do you know what I mean? Being being, you know, self-employed as you know, as yours. It's hard. It's very difficult as you both know. You're on the same journey. Do you know what I mean? So it's it's really difficult. But um, at the moment, I'm just experiencing. I'm trying to learn as much new things as I can. I'm trying to experience as many things as I can. I've got the 30 by 30, 30 things, you know, before I'm 30. You'll probably see a 40 before 40, but that'll be over 10 years, and that'll be like, you know, like 40 absolutely ridiculous things.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

Insane things skydiving.

SPEAKER_01 46:02

I'm not gonna say any yet, but a few of them will be like, you know, like I'll be wanting to meet like, you know, some of the biggest people in the world, you know what I mean, like do some really cool stuff. I I want to do a PhD at some point. So one of those things over the next 10 years, like you know, 40 before 40 would be getting a PhD, like a proper, you know, attainment, being a doctor. Um, you know, really cool stuff that I don't want to I don't want to allure to too much. I've got some big plans. Love it. Amazing. The main thing is just learning about myself, self-development, working on myself, and making sure that you know people realise that I'm not just a guy with one arm, that I'm someone that's gonna attain incredible things in my life and I can help change other people's lives as well.

SPEAKER_00 46:37

Love that. I love that. That's the mission. We're on it. It's one arm, one year, one mission. That is a great tagline. That's me. I'll see you in the next year.

SPEAKER_01 46:49

One arm, ten years, one mission. Any roundup questions?

SPEAKER_02 46:53

Yeah, we want like some advice on anyone going through the water. We need all the help we can get. But for those that you're going through more specifically, yeah, for those going through life-altering experiences, situations, just any advice you could give.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

I think you know, birds of a feather flock together. You know, you are the people that you have around you. You know, you have incredible people like you around like around me, I'll be an incredible person. You know what I mean? Have models like you around me, I'll become a model. Do you know what I mean? So it's um just hoping I don't go bold. You'll smash it, babe. I'm never gonna look as good as you though. Like I'm gonna have to honestly, you are stunning. Like, it's actually so impressive. I am so dependent on this for my contract. Like, it's actually mad. I really am. Um, but like, yeah, you you guys are smashing it. And I think the advice I would give to people is be authentic, be you. And if anyone has anything negative to say about you, you shouldn't have them around anyway. Jummy, get rid of them. Get rid of them, Jamie.

SPEAKER_03 47:47

Get rid. Amen to that.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

Be around the people that you love, that you want to be around, that you that you aspire. If your people around you aspire you, if you're like, oh my god, you inspire me to become a better person, you inspire me to be a better model, to be thinner, to be bigger, to be whatever it is, if they inspire you, you're the right people. If they're diminishing your character, they're hating on you, they're saying bad things when you're not in the room. There are eight billion people on this planet you can find five that will be the best people to support you, I can guarantee it. There's always five people out there, though. We should only show you love. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes they're strangers on the internet. True. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

Sometimes the bigger supporters are the people that you've never met. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

Often, look, we're all on our journeys of self-discovery, we're all on journeys of growth. The type of people that are going to sit there and follow our journeys and pay for aren't aren't on the same journey. They're on the journey of actually, I want to support these people. So traditionally, our friends are going to be on those journeys of content creation, on those we're not the type of people that support those things. I can't spend all my time liking, commenting, and sharing all of my friends' music. I'm busy making it. I can't. Do you know what I mean? So it's like the biggest supporters will be the people at home chilling right now, doom scrolling, and they'll be the people that will make your life, you know, a dream. So shout out you lot. And if you could follow me at Guided by Kai, that'd be great. And if you could follow these guys, that would also be great. Please do. Thank you for having me, guys.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

Amazing. Thank you for great. Yeah. I'm actually sad this episode's over.

SPEAKER_01 49:06

I know. I'm sure there'll be another one. There will probably be. Definitely.

SPEAKER_03 49:10

Like, comment, subscribe if you want Kai back on. I appreciate it, guys.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

But yeah, and if you haven't checked out my YouTube, it's the Guided By series. I hope to see you there very soon.

SPEAKER_03 49:18

Links will be in the description.

SPEAKER_02 49:19

All links below and follow along. Yeah. Can't wait to see you next week.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Can you do the clap and I'll do the wave? Because I can't do the clap.

SPEAKER_02 49:28

Yes, we're going to be.