Ep 10: "Am I Just a Tick Box?" | Q&A Special

"We’ve made it to double digits! Blood, sweat, tears, and a lot of miles driven."

To celebrate our 10th episode, Zara and Faith are diving into the DMs to answer your most requested (and occasionally unhinged) questions. 

This week, we’re getting real about the "hidden" side of living with a disability and a visible difference.

In this episode, we discuss:
• The "Quota" Trap
• Job Application Fails
• The "Can You Walk?" Question
• Alopecia Myths
• The "Cure" Conversation

Join us every Wednesday as we sit down to bridge the gap between curiosity and reality.

Follow us for more:
📸 Instagram: @sitdownwithuspod @faith_hiles @zaraborji
🎵 TikTok: @sitdownwithuspod

#DisabilityAwareness #Alopecia #ZaraAndFaith #WheelchairLife #Inclusion #RepresentationMatters #Podcast #ZebedeeModels

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hi, I'm Zara. And I'm Faith. And we would like you to sit down with us every Wednesday. So today's episode is our tenth episode. Guys, we've made it. Blood, sweat, and tears. But we're here. A lot of drives. I now no longer need my sat nav to get to Zara's house where we film this. I think that's that's that that in itself is cause for celebration.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

And there's many a times where I'm like, should I just sleep here? Like you are becoming part of this house. Yeah, this house is now mine also. The day when I don't see faith, I'm like, what's happening?

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Like the day does not is not complete. I think we went like one or two weeks not seeing each other, and I was like, babe, who are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Like, I don't Do you know what? It was funny, because when we first started planning this, like months and months and months ago, like back in the last year, we were like, yeah, we'll do Fortnightly, we'll see each other fortnightly. I'm on my third day this week. I don't think we've ever. I don't think we've ever done Fortnightly. No, it's never, it's no. We've not? Since the day you came to house. We've not, no. I think the only time we were separate is when I went on holiday. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

A few months ago, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

That's been it. But in our 10th episode today, we are going to be answering some of your questions. Yeah. We've had DMs, we've had messages, we've had a phone call, actually, I had with someone. Ooh. Just like family. Wow. Love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Want to know more? Just came up with conversation. To be fair, I am going to give a shout out to Imi, Imy M U A, because she actually triggered. Inspired this. Inspired this idea because she asked some questions on our part from our to our DMs. She asked some questions and we were like, hang on a minute. Be with the point. Yeah. And we've had the odd questions, like story replies and things like that on our podcast page. So we thought, let's just dedicate an episode. Our 10th episode special.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Let's get into it. Oh. Right, should we do because Imy did inspire today? Why don't we start with Imy's questions? Have you got the DM?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Because I do not. I do. Here we go. It's a hefty one, guys. Long it is a hefty one. But I'm gonna kind of like summarise what she said. So it's regarding like the industry and like the what's it called? The job industry?

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Yeah, like the process of getting a job. Yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

And her dilemma is the fact that why is in a questionnaire when you apply for a job, they ask for your disability and then kind of offer you the interview. Why is it not based on your experience and your ability to do the job? And then once they've kind of narrowed down who they want, is then okay, let's find out who's got certain needs, da da yadda yadda yada. Why is it not the other way around? Why why does it matter?

SPEAKER_02 2:58

And it's you're still qualified enough to do that job more than the next person.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

It's so interesting because before she'd said that, before I'd read that DM and I was like, I had never thought about that. Neither. But it's so true. It's one of those where it's like you can tell those kind of questions and the the processes have been made by people with no understanding of a dis of a difference slash disability. Disability. Does that make sense? It's like, yeah, you you don't know you've not run run this by someone with a disability or a difference.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Like you've just It's almost like that's what makes it feel like a tick box. Yeah. Like a company quota. Yeah. When you're ha you're having to disclose personal things about yourself before you even meet them. Yeah. And it's about you, but at the end of the day, you're applying for a job. You're not applying to be the upfront marketer of the job. Exactly. You're applying for a job that someone else can do, yes, but it should be against that and not your physical, mental.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

No. Fair enough. Like me personally, wheelchair user, probably can't do like an Amazon warehouse worker. Obviously. I mean, I say obviously. There might be some of the bits I can do, but like that I get, but at the same time, I know not to apply for a job like that, because I've read the description. So it's not as as if they can even justify it by being like, oh, we want to find out because of certain aspects of the job. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That does make sense. But I'm just like, that was a really good question.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

And yeah. I've never seen it like that before either. And sometimes I've been on jobs and I've felt that I've only got this job or got this role because of my look. Oh, a thousand percent can live. Rather than actually because I can do it. Yes. I've almost felt like I'm only there to tick a box. To be in the background of a camera to not actually be there for the purpose, just there so it's like more inclusive. Hold up. But trying to be inclusive, but they're not at the same time. So there was one particular time I was part of a dance music video a few years back now, and I was excited. It was one of my first gigs after uni and you know, a music video, thought it'd be a vibrant. They were actually looking for bald people. Their term was skin heads, and I don't like that word because that's a very show term. Like to describe me, I think that's just skin gross. Such a weird term, skin hair. That was on the ad, and I was like, okay, you mean bald people, like yes, whatever. Um, people with less hair. Okay, so I applied and they got back to me straight away because a woman who is bald, I think they were expecting more men, and there were more men there. But yeah, so I applied for it, got the role, and they asked me if I knew anybody else. And like there's like a community role in a group chat. You know, and then um the group chat. Sorry, that just made me lull. And so the first day I couldn't attend because of a different job or some some other commitment, but they were fine with that. And they said, come to the second day, which was the filming day, we'll slot you in, it's fine. We get to that day, I'm slotting, it's all good. And then the choreographer that was there basically told me to swap roles with someone. Now he wasn't very clear, he was very stressed. I think it was probably his first big time role as well. Wanted to make a good impression, kind of backfired. So I ended up doing the role that I believed he wanted me to do, and he ended up shouting at me in front of the whole team, being like, No, that's not what I asked you to do. Let me know like you're throwing me in the deep end, like I do know the routine. Yeah, you've just told me to be this position, I'm this position. And so I apologise, I'm like, oh, sorry, like mixed messages, whatever. And then everyone is dead silent, and then they go to rap again, and then like their casting director comes over and she's like, Are you okay? And I'm like, No, I'm not okay. Absolutely not. So I sit out, and actually the take they used is where I'm not in it. Because everyone was so tense, everyone did it really well after that, and so they took me to one side and I was like, I want to go home. I don't care how much you want me here, this is not worth it. Like I'm out. I'm not being shouted at like that when you want me, you literally didn't need to hire me.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Like, and also there's a way to go about something like that. You don't just it's not like you're not in primary school, and kind of like you don't just like shout in front of everyone.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

And can I just say it wasn't a serious set, it was a fun set, especially the song. Like, I'm not out in it because I really hate like watching it back gives me like I hate it. Yeah, I hate watching it back, but it was a fun set, and like we broke for lunch and he came and spoke to me, the choreographer, and he was like, Can we talk? And I was like, No, actually. Like, which is very rude on like a set, you'd never normally say no to the choreographer. He was first. I don't want to talk to you. Like, the way you spoke to me is disgusting. You yeah, like I didn't need to be here, I couldn't even make the rehearsal. You still wanted me for the day, and then you're gonna talk to me like that. Absolutely. And I'm like, first job out of uni, I was like, yeah, no. Not one. After that event, I felt so uncomfortable. And I was like, I want to go home. Yeah, it's just and how forceful they were, not forceful, but kind of how like pushy they were for me to stay, was just a little bit normally in any other situation, they will let you go. Because I was I was literally like, don't pay me, I don't care, like you've not even got a the good take yet. Like, I will just leave. Like, I don't want to be here anymore. Yeah. And they were like, no, it's fine. We spoke to the choreographer, like everything's fine with there. And I was like, right, okay, I'll stay. Me now I would have gone. Would you? I would have gone, yeah. Yeah. The way I spoke until I didn't feel welcome. They wanted me there for my bald head, and they just didn't make me feel welcome at the end of the day. It was just not not a good vibe. Not good at all. In terms of the production, love. Loved the production, they were very kind. But overall, how I felt, that's how I felt. Yeah. That's just yeah, not it.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Not it. And you know what? Being such a young age and dealing with it like that, that's actually so passive. Mm-hmm. You I should.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

My dad was shocked, but I was like, no, I want to stick up for myself. No one's gonna shout at me like that when okay, his paycheck may have an extra zero on the head of mine, but Honestly, if that was me, I would like just cried on the spot. Yeah, well, I'm borderline did. I was like 21, I was barely 22 yet, and I was like, the heck is going on? Yeah. Like first big role, and yeah, no, not for me. No. Their loss. It was. So, but that was definitely a moment where I was like, I'm here for my bald head. I am here because I'm a bald woman, and an anomaly within the bold men in the ph in the music video, that's the only reason why I'm here. That's crazy. And it's very obvious because they liked to get a clear shot of me multiple times.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

The to be honest, there has been times where I've like had jobs where like I knew I was just a tick box, mainly because I mean I found out later because they let me go really quickly. And I was like, it was just a tick box, and then time's gone, you've done the tick box, you can't really on ticket, can you? So, and then they let me go. And then there was other times where it didn't even get to hiring me. Um, I remember there was a time where I had a job interview, and in the job interview, if you've got a disability or a difference, you you'll know this, but it's it asks, like, do you have a disability? It's like, yes, no, prefer not to say. This is kind of where the question comes in again.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Yes. But the end that we just spoke about. Is life where there's yeah. Literally reality.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah. Right here. Right real life example. So I I was like, do you know what? Because every now and again I used to be like, prefer not to say yes, no. No, obviously no. Never said no. I'm not stupid, I've never said no. Um yeah, um, I put yes or prefer not to say. This occasion, prefer not to say. Um, and then early on to the job interview, went there, and then it was like right in the heart of town, not not anywhere like secluded or anything. It was like literally the heart of town, Manchester town. And then I got there and then the lift was broken, and there was like a set of stairs. And I'm like, oopsy daisy. So I oops. Literally. I at this point I was like uh like late teens, so like this was like my first experience into the real world. Yeah. Um I rang this guy, the person who I had contact with, and I was like, I can't get in. He's like, why can't you get in? Just use the stairs, like and I'm like, I'm actually in a wheelchair, and I can't there's the the lift doesn't work. And he was like, he kind of paused on the phone, and like the the the wheels are the clogs are turning in his head, aren't they? And he was like, Well, I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. And then the line went dead. Did he even come down to meet you? No. What? No, see that's giving rude. No, no. Not one. Didn't even suggest moving, didn't even suggest me coming down to you, saying hello. None of that. End of the call. I went home. Heard nothing from them since. That was that was and it was one of those moments, like I remember a few episodes back where I was like growing up, everything was rainbows and roses, and then I got to the real world, and it wasn't rainbows and roses. And that was one of the moments where I was like, where are the rainbows? Yeah, what's going on? Like, there was none. Why is it doom and gloom? What's going on? What's happening? So, yeah, that was one of those episodes. One of those moments, yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

So moving on, let's get into some more, I guess, DMs. Yeah. We both had DMs each. Yes. So yeah, let's rattle some of them off. Who's going first? Go. Okay. I'm not ready for mine.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

So someone's actually asked. Obviously, we're gonna keep these another mess. Yes. Because yeah, some of these questions are like, oh, really? Some are quite unhinged.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

I had one that was a bit unhinged. I was like, huh. Speak your mind, babe. You pop off.

unknown 13:32

Do you?

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Do you know what? The do you keeps coming back. Do you. Anyway, go, babe. Um, so someone's put, can I ask? Dot dot dot. Are you able to walk? Okay. And do you know what? This also ties in with when people ask me. So whenever I tell people like what I do with the gym and they're like, oh yeah, off the body, right? I'm like, babes, I do like 20 squats. I do like two 20 s 20 reps of three. Like damn. I do 60 squats and a sesh. Like these glutes are gluten. They're gluten. But no, to answer that in the more simple way, I can walk. I always say it like this. So I can walk. One with my leg braces. Two, if I'm like really trying to walk, then with my crutches. But I couldn't like stand up right now and be on my women Mary way. Yeah. I couldn't do that. Okay. Yeah. That's it. And I think the the more like technical way to say it, I think, in like in my like medical forms, it's like she can walk for 20 yards. Not a clue how long 20 yards is.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

I don't get yards. Like when I'm coming off the motorway, I'm like, Sam, I'm not a clue. I just look at the lines and I'm like, I'm sure that's 300, 200, 100 that I'm on. Yeah, so apparently the NHS is going by yards.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Sam.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

The UK confuses me sometimes. You use way too many like metrics.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

I think that's one of those questions where like I feel like every non, every non, every person who is non-mobile gets at some point in their life. It's like, can you actually walk? Or it's like, oh, it's the assumption that we don't walk at all.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

I feel like that's a that's a similar vibe to me getting the cancer question.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Yeah. So I get it that often. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

It's like, can you walk? And it's one of those where like sometimes they're like, oh well, if you can walk, then you're not actually really disabled. No, yeah, but it you do know we have ambulatory wheelchair users. I mean, I'm not one. I'm literally in my wheelchair like 99.9% of the time, apart from when I'm filming. I'm sat on a sofa. But yeah, you can get people who are like ambulatory and like use it as a med. And that doesn't mean they're not disabled. No. It really does not. I feel strongly about that topic.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

But what's your question? Next one. So as as much as I get the cancer question, do I have cancer? The answer's simply no. Um, this question is, let me get it up. So, random question. But what colour was your natural hair before alopecia? Ooh. How do you feel about that question? I don't mind it. Okay. Because it's like it is an interesting one. Yeah. I mean, it beats the cancer question, to be quite honest with you. I mean, yeah. Anything but that please. It's a little more lighthearted than Do you have cancer? Well, I don't actually mind it because I then asked them to guess. Oh, okay. Only a few people have in in like face-to-face have actually guessed it right. So most most most people say blonde. I would have said mousy brown. I think I said mousy brown on the first place. Yeah, because I have a blonde wig at the moment. I say it's like strawberry blonde, but it's more like the blonde side of like strawberry streaks. But I was bright red ginger. I can't picture that. Yeah. I had like I had frizzy hair, not curly like ringlets, but I had frizzy hair, wavy hair, and um yeah, really thick. That was my natural hair, but I had dark features, so that's why my eyebrows, my transfers will always be dark, and my lashes I'll always get darker brown for my lashes as well. So yes. And no, I don't use mascara because I have no lashes to use mascara with.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

You look perfect with her. Thanks. Thanks. So, next question. What's something about your disability and it'll be in your case a condition? Condition? No. Your difference. I don't know what I call it condition. People call it I don't know. Is it? I don't know. That people always assume about you that's actually totally wrong.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Damn. I think people assume that I'm sad. Because I get a lot of like head tilts. Yeah. And like, oh, and I'm like, no, not all. It's okay. Like it happened last week. Thrive in love. Yeah, it happened last week. An old gentleman went, You're right, love. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, grand, mate. Off to a modelling gig. I'm grand. Like money. It's rolling in. I'm all good over here. Like, yeah, but I think people assume that I'm not happy or that I wish I had my hair when I don't.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Yeah. I think very similar to me, like people obviously assume that it's like I am sad because I'm not running. Um, but it's fine, I'm I can't do marathon, big deal. Um, but also the other side of it is Mordy M's. More D's, guys. Um the other side of it is um people always assume that I'm looking for a cure. Oh really? Or like looking to so for example, back in the day I had a PT and my reasoning for a PT was to gain a six-pack. Not no really, but like lose a bit of pounds around my belly by the time. And straight away when when me and her had a chat, she was like, Oh, so you like wanting to walk? I'm like, no love. No, I I quite understand where I am. Yeah, like I I came to terms with that um when I got my diet exemples when I was like two days old. Yeah. See what I mean? Like I knew that shit was sales back then. But yeah, and I mean it's a fair assumption, but also not at the same time. Yeah, I think it's an assumption that they want the best for you, but in reality you're already thriving. And I think how you are. And I think part of it, because like most of the time I get it from the older generation, and I think it's coming from the fact that the dislike having a disability is like there's something wrong with you. Obviously, there's something physically not right, hence why I am the way I am. I'm not blind to that, but also I've adapted my life to it. We're not in the 1950s or like the 1930s, where like disabled people were like behind doors, like shunned. Do you know what I mean? So like I am living in the world, happily thriving. I have my moments, don't get me wrong. Life would 99% of the time would be easier if I could just like grab the thing at the top shelf in Sainsbury's. But you live and you adapt. Yeah. And I think, yeah. So that's one of the questions that I get that I'm like, not sure about that. Hit me.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Next question. So I had this one from a friend. Okay. I think she was just curious, to be quite honest with you, but she's and I think Giga probably answered this as well. Okay. So I'm a bit of curiousity. She said, This might be a weird one, but what's the most inappropriate questions someone has ever asked you about your condition? Where do I start? You start. For me, it's a question that I have the same reply to you're not gonna find out. So the question is, do I have hair loss everywhere? Oh. Use your imagination, peeps. Use your imagination. So interesting. With what they're wanting me to say.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

So my response is you're not gonna find out, so why do you need to know? It's so interesting because mine's on the same line.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Really?

SPEAKER_02 21:23

So why is it sexual? It's weird.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

But can I say wait, let's Can I say the word? Yeah, sex.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Well, I just said sexual, so surely. I guess we're saying sex.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Men's suck about sex, baby. We're gonna get copyrighted. Let's not do that. Right. I think my question is, yeah, let's talk about sex. They say let's talk about sex. Can you have sex? Is the question that I always get. Well, I say always, more from like creepy DMs or like creepy men and like random boys. But it's like, can you have sex? And it's like, first of all. Buy me a drink. Yeah. But also, I'm why would I answer that? Like, are you propositioning me? Because that's that's giving like well, I know what you're here for. Exactly. Like Are you like saying you want to have sex with me because that's not the way to go about it? Mm-hmm. Like you need you need a playbook because the one you're reading off, not the one. Yeah. So yeah, so pretty much the same as you is like, you're not gonna find out. So but yeah. If you're just curious, do about Googling. Google search engines are free, I I promise you. Yeah, they're they're very alive. Yeah. No. And obviously, like we say, not all disabilities are the same. If, for example, if my my answer might be one thing and another disabled person's answer might be a different thing, you shouldn't assume. But at the same time, if you're really that curious that you're having to come to my DMs about it, just Google it.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Yeah, Google it. I mean, you can approach it in like a I'm really curious. No, I even then I don't think it's right.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

No, like that's not No. I think the way I would trying to give him an excuse. I think the Yeah. I think the way I would justify it is that if I was in a relationship, or like if I was getting to know someone and he was curious, and we were at the stage where we were like thinking about being sexual, then I would respect him for asking that. Yeah. But a random person in my DM. Just out of the blame. Nah. No. No, like why do you need no? I can't believe you needed to try to justify that. Yeah, sorry. I don't know who you are anymore. I don't. Coffee's got to meet, clearly. Right. So, what's something that's labelled accessible? But in reality and in real life, it isn't. So I have a bit of tea to spill, so to speak. What's that? Tea. That's a phone. That's wait, how'd you do a tea part? Tea. Oh wait. Nah. Spill it. No, spill it. Okay. That's can you tell we've had many a coffees? Many a coffees or right. So I first of all, one thing that's I think the most obvious one is travelling. That's to be fair, that's the first thing that came to my head. Yeah. And it is inaccessible. And I am gonna dedicate an episode with a story time about my travelling, which is gonna come in future episodes. But in today's episode, I am gonna talk about another one that another thing that's like accessible in theory, but it's not, uh, and you might not think of it. But working environments. Obviously, depending on where you work and what you do, but I back in the day, I used to work nine to five. Not gonna say where, not gonna help them, not because of anything specific, it's just kind of kind of like it's in the past. It's in the past, it's happened. No announcement animosity there, like it's it's drawn. Line has been drawn. So to cut a long story short, very short, I had a work event where other clients, let's call them, were also invited, about 50, 60, 70. I was part of the planning of this event, but another person who was technically above me, not my manager, but like above me within our team, was also um in charge of to plan and all that jazz. So it was kind of like a conference. So had the conference, all good, and then actually, not totally all good. He so I was supposed to deliver a talk, and this person specifically put me in a group in a section with all bar type high top tables. And I just looked at this person, I'm really I'm really like trying to hold myself not to use their name or like their like pronouns because I do not want-I mean, people who know me know the story, but if you don't know me, I don't want you to know the story, the ins and outs of it. Anyway, so this person, um, I turned around to them and I was like, I don't want to be annoying, which right off the bat shouldn't have said annoying. No, it's not annoying. Have a backbone, people. I did not. This was a few years ago. Um, not to be annoying, but I don't think this is gonna work. Um they just walked off. Mind you, there were external clients slash partners within earshot. Mm-hmm. And my other some of my other colleagues also within the earshot. So me being the emotional person that I am, went to the toilets, one of my colleagues beelined with me, and was like, nah ah. So she went and told my manager, manager sorted it out, rainbows and roses, until the end of the day. So this person had planned a lovely, lovely meal with all of our clients and the staff members, and we were all driving. So me and my said colleague got in the same car because we were like, we need to decompress of the whole day. Because the whole day I was like, from what happened at the beginning, I'm just gonna ignore this person. Yeah. I'm just gonna stay out of their way. Clearly, they're having some issues. Did you bring it up after the event that No, I wasn't even gonna bring it up. No, no, no, no. I was like, it's happened, all's gone well, I've done my job. Meal time, whoop. And then she put the place in the sat nav and we were on the way. And I was like, knowing this place, no, knowing this person and what happened today, I bet you this place isn't accessible. Ha ha. So I'm just gonna ring them. I ring this place again. I'm not gonna out where this place was. Ring this place, very well known chain restaurant, might I add. Hi, I'm just checking. We have a reservation. Is your place accessible? We have, I believe the words were, it's a 20-step um to the restaurant, and we can't help you in because it will be a fire hazard. So, no, we're sorry, no, we'll make extra adjustments, no, we'll figure it out when you get here. Just none of the straight up no.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Okay. Can I just say that's very odd, even for a restaurant to not have an accessibility entrance, like that is odd. I mean, we went out a few weeks ago and I was shocked that you had to go through the staff entrance because I was like, you're not staff, you're guests.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Like, this is It's funny that you got to check out with that. Whereas with me, I'm like, I'm just happy I'm here. Yeah, no, whereas that's not the point. For me, I was like, we're not food groceries. Exactly. I've come from our study. It was like the back, like the alleyway, like it was it was in the trenches. Yeah. That's when I was like, this is not No. This is not not an alternative. No, yeah. So yeah, so I was like, and again, I was having an emotional time within that whole day. So my friend just pulled over. She was like, We're not going in there, obviously. So I'm gonna come with you, blah blah blah. Streams of tears, streams of tears, obviously did not go there. Anyway, this part, and then the it this happened on a Friday. So by the Monday, I was like, I am going in. By the way, on this, on this day on my way home, because this happened in a different city, on my way home, I was like, one of my colleagues couldn't make it, one of my colleagues slash best friends couldn't make it. So I was like voice noting her whilst being in tears, so what's happened. And whenever I'm having like a like look how far come I've come away day, I listen back to those voice notes. Wow. And I I still cry. Oh my god. Oh, because like I'm thinking uh it takes me back to what's happened anyway. Um so what annoyed me even more about this situation, immediate team loved them, they were great. Manager was sort of great. Um but the CEO of this place basically sent me a long email, apologise, all unnecessary things, blah blah blah. You have to, don't you? Yeah. But then they kind of put the onus of me into what happens to this kid. And I'm calling their kid because it was childlike behaviour. Yes. She did not miss a beat. No, I did not. And I'm calling this person I know I just said he, but I'm calling this person. Yeah, I just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

So they put the fate of their gas career in your hands?

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Yeah, because they were like, so what now? What what what'd you want what do you want to happen? Can I just say that?

SPEAKER_02 31:14

That should have been the CEO company's job to discipline him or mind you at this point in time.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

I mean, we do now, we did we did after that, I'm not there anymore, obviously. Um we didn't have a HR team. Really? Which is some red flag. Don't get a job anywhere without a HR team. Just don't, don't do it. Um anyway, so I was, me being the young 20-something-year-old me, I was like, I do not want that person was equally like my kind of age, so I was like, I do not want to ruin this person's career. I can't have that in my conscience. Also, I had just gone through something so traumatic, can I just say, like, I was basically crying every single day for maybe about a month, like thinking about this. And I I don't need that.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

But I'm sorry, not even the restaurant, but the event in the beginning of the day, that is that's heartbreaking to be told like you can't sit me somewhere that is accessible and appropriate. Like are you being serious?

SPEAKER_00 32:20

It was almost as if, ha ha, I've got this power to do this, and you don't blah blah blah blah. It was one of those. Anyway, so I obviously said I I don't want anything to happen, like I don't want this to escalate. Anyway, um, and then that person ended up sending me the most, the most chat GPT-versed email you've ever read in your whole entire life. Oh my gosh. And yeah, it it was it was great. I mean, I still have the email, just like sometimes when I'm like having a drink, I laugh at the email, it's all fun and games. But it was not fun and games when it straight straight away when it happened. But yeah, I think one thing to learn about this is one, if you're like part of a HR team watching this or like part of a company, do not put the onus on the person. No. No matter the situation, no matter if it was like a racism allegation, a disability allegation, nothing. I mean, can I just say this?

SPEAKER_02 33:21

That doesn't happen when it's I don't think it happens when it's a sexist allegation. No, no. It doesn't go on the woman or the man in the city. 100% shouldn't go and it shouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Does not go on the victim. No. And what was even more interesting is when so when I first started with this company, there was no disability awareness course, there was nothing. There was there was stuff about racism and like, you know, like company policies and like GDPR and all that, all that jazz. Love, no, I love them, but nothing about disability. Which I thought, alright, okay. It was like my first proper big girl job. Yeah. And I was like, I don't really know what to expect. This is probably alright. And when this kicked off, I was like, I know what I want. I want a proper disability awareness course, or like disability awareness training. God. Because I was like, this ain't happening again. No. Not on Y Watch. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. It was my friend's idea. Love it. It was my friend's idea. But anyway, so I said that, but what annoyed me is one, when that happened, that person had already left. By the time that happened, this person already quit. They never got the training. No. Two, when it happened, the entire like whenever there was like an accessibility question, the entire team turned around to me. And I'm like, guys, I do not have the rule book for all the civilities. Like, calm down. And honestly, at this point I was like, I'm sick of y'all. I need to leave. I mean, I only left like four years after that, but besides the point. And then the other thing was that happened, and like I said, I was there like a few years after that. Did not hear about another disability training. And like there was like many more colleagues and people coming on, and they didn't know about that either. So it was just like a one and done, shut her up type of thing. That's what it felt like. This does not sound like a nice company.

SPEAKER_02 35:32

Give it a few years. They're not.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

They're not. Oh, should we out then? No, I can't. I'm just still. I know. I can tell you behind the scenes, but I'm I'm ready to pop up. I'm ready to march. Should we go down there? Yeah, I got my car, let's go. They're on they're in London. Road trip. I mean, no, it I'm road trip. Let's go. So yeah. That was that was an experience. I really want to shout them out just to be like, don't go work there, but I'm like, oh there's been some growth and some therapy, some crazy therapy. And we're over it. Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

So next question that I've had. Next question. Um so online I do kind of wig work with Novo Cabello. Well, I just I use their wigs. Yeah. Um through Novo Cabello and Little Lady Locks. Little Lady Docks was gifted to me to make content with them and help young girls on how to apply their wigs. I love their videos. Yes, they're so cute. Like they make me tear up every time. And then Novo Cabello, it was again a presentation/slash like performance of how sturdy and how amazing their wigs are as well as a hair system. So this question I get a lot of like, or I get asked this, but someone said to me, Do you ever get brands wanting to collab with you on wigs and hair products? And the question is all the time, not necessarily hair products, um, even though I did do a shoot with Got to Be a year ago, and I was kind of like, hmm, how does this kind of fall into this? But it was a really cool concept that they had. Yeah. It was a kind of got to be bold, and it was really cool. Um, because that was entertaining. But otherwise, I do get a wig companies asking if like we I want to sign a contract with them and promote their wigs and get wigs for free or anything like that. And I just I I say no. Basically. I do get asked it a lot. I've got asked one recently um through Zebedee, and I was like, it's just not me. I don't want to receive a free wig. Say I wear it when I don't. Ah, yeah, I see what you mean. So, but otherwise, I do get a lot of weights companies coming to me asking me to like promote their wigs and da da da, and it's like I would to an extent if I actually wore the wigs. Yeah. So, like, that's where I say Novo Cabello and I say Little Lady Logs because I wear those wigs. It's like you want it to be authentic, you don't want to just do it because Yeah, so so another weird company that I that I would shout out is Demuse because I've been to a few of their pop-up shops um events, one specifically in Manchester a few years ago now, I think. Loved their wigs. Love Danny G. Oh, love her. Danny G. Yeah. Her brows as well are amazing. Yeah. But I use Aralina Jackson's brows. Um so yeah. As you've seen today. Yeah. She's like in the eye armor. Yeah, but De Muse brows. She's also got lashes now. I've not tried the lashes, but for a gal that doesn't have any lashes, something I want to do. Ooh, I wonder how that works for those. Yeah. But those two are the brands that I use a lot. Yeah. Zara, Lena Cosmetics, Demuse, Cosmetics, Eyebrows, all that. Uh Nobio Cabello and Little Lady Locks. Yeah. So to circle back to the question. The question I do get asked a lot to promote wigs and hair products, but have to be. Yes, genuine. I think that's one thing. So many people are quick to advertise things they use, but I want to advertise things I actually use. 100%. Like I'm not here just to make a quick penny, you know, or get a free thing. Like no, I'm here to be authentic, and I think that's what's missing online. Again, why we are here. Hello. So yeah, but I think for this episode, that's all the questions we have.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Time for. Yes. Tune in for part two because there's many more DMs where these came from. So tune in for part two next Wednesday. Bye.