The Nurse’s Perspective | 35 Years on the Frontlines with Angela

 "It’s not really a job, it’s a vocation."

This week on Sit Down with Us, we’re getting up close and personal with Angela. As a nurse specializing in brains and spines, she’s seen it all and busts a few myths along the way.

Angela opens up about the "heartstrings" that get pulled when a patient’s life changes forever and how she uses her daughter’s experience to comfort women facing hair loss before/after brain surgery. 

We talk about resilience, the power of a cup of tea in the middle of the night, and why being a nurse makes you a "brutal" but empathic mum.

Whether you’re in the medical profession or have ever been a patient, this conversation is a beautiful reminder of the human connection behind the diagnosis.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hi, I'm Zara and I'm Faye. And we would like you to sit down with us every Wednesday. On today's episode of Sit Down with Us, we have special guest. And you might have recognised her from one of our previous episodes, but on today's episode, we have the lovely Angela joining us again.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Thank you very much for having me. Thank you very much for having me. And from the previous episode, we learned that my mum is a nurse. So today we're going to get a nurse's perception of the trials and tribulations of ability and disability and differences, and how it is, I guess, in that hemisphere of the world, which I know little about. I'm one I'm one of those where hospitals kind of freak me out. I want to be in and out very quickly.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

But even growing up with a mum as a nurse, you know, I yeah, I I'm just very intrigued.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

And I feel like as people with differences and disabilities, we've always been on the other side of it. So it's kind of nice to have like a face-to-face conversation with someone who is in that industry and just see it from their point of view as well. So, first of all, we would like to know what actually made you want to become a nurse? Was there like a pivotal moment? What was it?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Um okay, so I think uh I'd be about maybe 14, 15. I was heading that way anyway. I always had like a probably like a bit of a a caring element to caring nature. Um and then uh my dad was uh gravely ill uh in a hospital setting. He passed away. I was only 16 at the time, but just that that phase of leading up to it, I thought, do you know what? I want to do this. This and that just cemented it for me. So I obviously then went to college and did a care um certificate. What was it called? It was a called a uh B Tech back then. Um I don't even know where they do it now, but yeah, so um I went to college, did a B tech, um, and then after that applied for nursing. Um have a look back since 35 six years later, 35 years later, um still in nursing and still loving it. It's not really a job, it's a vocation.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

That's what's what I like that.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

I love that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Yeah, that's really cool. It's a job that you really you see, it's it's a job that you really w have to do. Have to do. No, it's um it's not a job that you decide. I think the job kind of finds you.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

That's really gorgeous take on it, actually. Yeah. So where has your job taken you and where are you now?

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Well, so initially I was um at seven at 17, I was uh back then we were called auxiliaries. We used to wear brown dresses, it was delightful.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Uh the healthcare very cold the midnight. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

But really old now, but no dogs.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

That's not what I meant, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Oh gosh. Um yeah, so I was a healthcare assistant um in theatres, uh, so like running around like cleaning, organising stuff. So um that that that was that I really enjoyed that job as a 17-year-old as well. Uh, and then uh obviously went to do my training, loved my training. Best laughs um of my yeah, yeah, best three years of my life, I think, at the minute. Oh, apart from having children.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

I was about to say, yes, excuse me. Is that right here?

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Um, some good friends, um, and had some amazing times. Um, and then obviously uh initially got a job on a uh medical ward uh uh and then the ward closed that that was yeah, NHS cuts even back then. Um and then I went to work in theatres and was a scrub nurse for oh nearly two years. Wow, uh it was uh passing hammers and chisels for a living, but uh no, that that was good again. That was uh that was interesting, good fun, learnt a lot. Yeah, uh, and then one day I woke up, I thought, nah, miss the people because they were asleep by the time they come to me. Yeah, so I thought, ah, miss the interaction with the patients at that point. So I was like, no, let's have a rethink. Um and uh I ended up on um a uh ward that was uh specialised surgical ward, uh or brains and spines, and I've been there ever since, yeah, 30 odd years. Surviving just without surviving.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

I think one big question that I've been curious from with meeting different people in the past few years is the process in a hospital when someone's gone from able bodied to disabled, and the support that's there, because I actually have no idea what support is there. If I was ever in that sort of situation, I I wouldn't know who to turn to or what would happen. So what is the process?

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Yeah, that yeah, that is quite a good good question, especially because um we obviously deal with brains and spines, uh, and I'm not this this is what I've done for for years. Um there's I know there's a lot of support groups out there, but uh a lot of our patients uh when they come in, they are quite that we come in, they they obviously they've got issues, but they they're quite use they can be quite mobile, um full head of head of hair because obviously they some of it is brain surgery, so they're having some of the hair buzzed off, uh, which is like the image for men and women uh can be an issue. Uh but obviously the spinal issues, um, if they've got uh operations to the spine, um some again make complete full recovery, but not every surgery is um 100% guaranteed. Sometimes it can be simp control, um, depends what they come in for. There's a lot of issues. Um, so any disability that they might uh acquire or be left with uh as a result of the illness that they come in with, um it it is dealt on an individual level. Um I think it depends how the patient uh I think leading up to their surgery, they've been counselled and um like prepared for the surgery, uh everything is explained even in the um consent process. So they've got assigned to consent for the operations or the procedures that they're having done um so that they're aware that these potential things, could life-changing um situations can be happening for them, and I think the family um a big a big part of it is supporting the family as well.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

I was gonna ask about that actually, how the family almost deals with that information, not that they have to deal with it, but it's still a shock to them with almost turning their life a 180 and just how they process and navigate through that as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

100% because uh obviously from being um because sometimes quite a few of our patients can be then confused, uh, personality changes, um, so that they're dealing with a lot on a on a daily basis and it can change on a daily basis as well. Someone coming in with like head injury, uh a traumatic uh brain injury, we deal with um headway as well, but so that there are other um support groups and um like support services that they can uh like tap into uh when leaving hospital because we're quite uh acute, so they don't they tend not to stay with us very long, they move on to rehab centres or rehabilitation route. Um so we we deal with like the acute surgical side of things and then they move on, but uh dealing with those changes with them at that time. Um again if the patient is confused it's the family that need the support as well. Uh and I I do I do like working uh with with the families as well and trying to support them, trying to just give them that reassurance that it might not be permanent, but you don't always want to give them false hope either because nobody knows. Um at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

I think as well when it's brain and spine, it's it's so sensitive.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

Yeah. It can go either way. It can yeah, it's it's and it is quite life-changing. Obviously, every disability and difference is life-changing to an extent, but I feel like with that one, it's it's as as personal experience. I mean, mine wasn't an injury or anything. I was kind of born with it, so I don't know any different. But I can imagine how one day being able to like front of the shops and the next being completely bet bound. And I often see on like people on social media who've had injuries where part of their accident or however they've ended up with an injury or a spinal um disability, um, there's always the depression side of things, which I hadn't really thought about before um listening to their stories, which I think, and I guess that's what kind of you come across as well with your patients. And I do wonder, is there a particular story or a particular patient that's kind of stuck to you, their story stuck with you that you can share with us?

SPEAKER_00 8:33

I think you always have those few patients that will always stick with you. Yeah. Um, it's like I even from years ago, decades ago, I still remember the lady's name that I injected my first injection as a student nurse. Oh wow. Yeah, yeah. Um that was quite special, actually. Yeah, well, yeah, at times like that you are petrified and you've got to say, you've got to, I'm confident at this, I've practiced some marriages, you know. Um so difficult to actually do it on a real person was like, oh um, so uh a lot of patients. Uh I think sometimes you don't always embrace a patient, it's the the whole family. Because you you do get involved with the whole family, especially if it's uh something quite close to your heart, or you've you've literally especially if you admit them and then you see them through the virtually the whole journey, you get to on a personal level, uh they do tug at the heartstrings quite often. It is very difficult to separate the two sometimes. You do go home worrying about your patients sometimes, uh as well, which again I don't think um I don't think I'd be a good nurse if I didn't do that. Yeah, yeah. Uh that's just part of the the job I feel as well. You you just can't always switch off, leave it at the door and uh carry on with life.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

That's what makes you a great nurse for all these years.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Well that's why I'm I think that's why I'm still doing it as well, because I um you don't live and breathe the job obviously, but I think and I think you are a um obviously you you've got your own life after, um, but you've always got them in your mind as well. Um I think uh there was a a gentleman, I won't go into too much detail because and obviously no name, um but uh he was similar age to myself, um and uh again he he had life-changing uh injuries, uh went on to rehab, but he needed every support services and he had a lot of life events happen unfortunately. He was with us with a significant length of time, uh, and he lost uh family members um and yeah, uh while he was in hospital. Uh so it was very difficult for for him uh with added pressures from outside. Yeah, but those ripples for him, we helped him deal with them as well because we got to know him, his family, so it was like it was happening to what for for us as well. So we we we really kind of went through everything with him. Um that's so interesting. And he's since he obviously been to rehab, he's since been back in for all the procedures and bits and bobs, and it's one of them like hi you're from down the corridor, and it's like you you it's just that face, it's like even though they might lose a bit of weight or um or have a sh the you know the share the shave of the haircut or whatever, it's like you you never you never forget them.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Yeah, never forget a face. Yeah, yeah. So obviously from working in different areas at the hospital and you've experienced now as a nurse, what has changed over time, I guess, for the better within this realm of topic?

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Primarily I think uh general um uh medical sciences and things and uh techniques, procedures have changed a lot. It's like some of our patients at one time, like years ago, would never have survived a journey to have uh like a brain procedure we had to send to London at one time. They would never survive the journey, whereas now we do we do it locally. Um and so again, um if they did survive the journey, they they might have had complications that um nowadays things are hopefully caught earlier so that those complications aren't left with long-standing problems. Um so I think catching problems early, it's uh early diagnosis that that I think that could be key as well at the minute. Um yeah, and um that early um intervention, yeah. Um could be a big thing. I say accessibility to facilities, which isn't not physically, um which obviously was a big big issue, um but um I think being able to access your your GP and and like tap into the services, uh I think that's been testing times as well, and I think since COVID um that has had an impact and there's been funding cuts and things like that, but I think that's just the nature of the NHS. There'll always be that, but you know, you ev every every job has its problems, so you just you just rub along and you carry on. Roll through it. Yeah, yeah. Um I think um the way we uh nurse patients after, I think the we get them up quicker. Um we um the patients take a bit more ownership of their recovery as well now. Whereas one time it was like you stay in bed for a week, you've had this operation, whereas now it's like come on, get up out. It's like I've had an operation. Yeah, but the quicker that you can get you up and and moving um does down the line improve the recovery. Very much so, very much so. Yeah. Um, but ta just technology and um I'll be honest, the bane of my life, the bane of my job is computer. Hate a computer. But it's kind of took over the job. I used to love sitting on a bed, chatting with a patient, cup of tea, let's have a natter. Oh, yeah. Three o'clock in the morning. I had quite a few of those moments as well, because I worked nights bringing up the girls. Uh I worked nights for 21, 22 years. So a lot of the the the therapy really and the uh the counselling and the psychological side of things happened in the middle of the night, a chit-chat, um wanted 10-15 minutes, but you put that patient at rest, um, you know, put the mind at ease. Um and I think it's that's how the job I love. And I st and and I still I I'd forfeit the computer any day, but I know things have to be done and it's gotta be done, but I would always have a natter for just that it's a 10 minutes. Yeah. I'm always getting getting in trouble for talking at work.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

It doesn't always have to be about diagnosis and serious stuff, does it?

SPEAKER_00 14:25

And I think you've got I think as well, um no matter how serious things have got and how the the pace the the the pace of everything um as well at work, you you you have to have the camaraderie and the uh the giggles, the laughs and giggles. The laughs and giggles, I love that. Um sometimes it can be inappropriate moments, but uh yeah, I think it I think it kind of makes the moment less inappropriate. Um because yeah, it's just the circle of life that you've gotta you've gotta be a bit more lighthearted with these days. Um I think it helps.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

So now we've come to the myth part of our podcast. I guess what some people think is that nurses generally tend to be used to um trauma slash death. And we were just wondering what you thought about that as being an actual nurse.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Okay, so obviously we do deal with uh both trauma and and death. Um just I think every nurse will come across it in the career. Um as for trauma, uh I I actually work on a surgical ward because I'm not very good with trauma, as my middle daughter will uh let you know. Uh some of them broke a finger and it's like, oh no, come on. Someone else is probably let's go and see somebody else. Um so but from um no, I think because I work on a surgical ward, um I can say more controlled, but not necessarily. Um so the trauma thing I think you just deal with at the time and you just you you you you find your way to process these things because it some it can be very traumatic. Um as for the death, I think I can't say you get used to it. Uh every death it's it's like um you've got to keep it as a it's like an honour to be there, uh to nurse somebody at the end of their life. Um I think you're not only nursing that patient, you're nursing the relatives as well, you're being there for the relatives. Some people want you there, some don't. Again, you you it's the wishes of the patient and the family. Um and then I think uh immediately with the patient passes away, I think uh just giving it's that just giving the support to the family, uh giving them time and going through the process with them, comforting them. Uh I get a lot of comfort from that, especially if I've nursed this patient and you do get quite close to them. Um and I think um one of the one of the things I find an honour is doing uh we call it last offices, like just preparing the patient to to move on to um to go to the mortuary before they they carry on the journey. Um and I find that an honour. That's the last thing I can do as a nurse for that patient.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

So it's very lovely. I can imagine something that you actually can't get used to because every person's different as well. Um so yeah, that's uh we've busted that myth. Do we? So as you are, I would say my mum and a nurse, how has being a mum impacted you as a nurse or has it impacted you as a nurse?

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Oh yeah, very much so. Um obviously you first hand. Um I'm I'm not I have got patience at home. Um coming out now. Uh I think being um what's the word I'm looking for? Empathic at home. I I do empathize.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Yeah, but I think it's because you see so much at work that when you come home and I like a cut my runs out or something, it's just empathy runs out. Yeah. And I think especially when it's a cold or a cough, it's like, oh you're fine, you just paracetamol, kelpol, yeah, go to bed, sleep it off, you know. But I mean it's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

I don't know. I have been quite brutal with the girls walking robbing up the line. It's built resilience though. It's built resilience. That's good. That's good. Yeah, I know it's the mum in me, but it's the nurse in me as well.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

I think I feel like a lot of mothers and nurses are potentially the same with a few aunties and buzzers with nurses, that is very, very similar. And so I completely understand that. Don't hold it against you, it's fine. You're all good.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

But on the on to be fair, on the flip side of that, I I think that uh because of um I don't know, the girls just rubbing along and knowing what I'm like, I think it just enables me to be a bit more empathic at work. Um and it's and I do, I'll be honest, I do talk about my family a lot uh quite a bit at work, especially like with the patients if they're interactive, have you got family because you're just chit-chat, yeah, you you know. Um so they they want to show pictures, so I'm I'm a proud mum at work, very proud mum. Um and I actually through your alopecia journey, um obviously going back to the the circumstances uh that are working, uh some of the men, some of the women, uh they've had hair buzzed off because it's like uh brain injury, brain tre uh trauma, uh tumours. We we get all kinds um for of needs for brain surgery. Uh but just dealing with that changing uh image, um and and we get quite a lot of women. Um a few men have mentioned about the hair loss, but they just want to just buzz the lot start again, usually. Um well, most do. Um and then some really aren't bothered. But uh it's like some of the ladies, it's like, whoa, what can I do? You know, but they they are quite good in like just buzzing the minimal off. Uh they do take those wishes into consideration as well. Sometimes, if it's possible, they will, but sometimes it's not always possible. Um, but the women are like, I'm gonna wear a wig. I'm like, another person, just look at that. Oh, she's right. She's not in a wig there, she's in a wig there, she's not in a wig. That is so sweet. That's funny. I like that, that's really cute as well. And it just gives I think it just gives the patient that like, oh, oh, I can I can go out looking like half a buzzed head and you know, just embrace or the even just a headscarf look as well. Um I know as a child you never wanted to know with a headscarf because again it came with illness.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

That the like the label as that's as growing up, that's just that's the perception I had at the time. But I think by doing that it gives obviously your patients a day differ a different perspective for after, and almost what to look forward to to trial and you know, try new things. I guess it gives them a different way of thinking about it all.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

What should the world know about the NHS? Oh my god, we haven't got that enough time. Yeah, I think everyone's experience with the NHS, you'll always get bad, you'll always get good, but it's the individual experience, and I think um everyone's journey is their own, um, be it good or bad, but I think that's probably makes them a bit more resilient to what they're dealing with at the time as well. And I think if the services are the services are there to be tapped into, um I think so long as those services are put in place early for whoever needs them, uh be it psychological, uh, mental health, physical, uh, the physio, the ongoing rehab side of it, uh, to the support groups. Um, I think um a patient has to take ownership uh for their own uh recovery phase as well and their own wellness and well-being.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

So, as you know, if we've been here before, we like to ask all of our guests um any advice they would have. But in particular for today's episode, I would love to know any advice that you would have to anyone who is maybe at the start of their journey or haven't even started their journey within being in the medical profession and Potentially a nurse. So if you had any advice, was a wisdom to them.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Oh my word, don't do it. No. No. Joking aside. Advice for someone come up and coming. I think everybody's path in life. Um, be whether whether they want to do the the medical, the surgical, or um what what whatever role they want um within the healthcare profession. You can't all just say the NHS now because there's so many privatised roles that are um available. I think um yeah, you've got again, you've got to take ownership for it. You've got to work and strive to be the best person that you can be, uh, to be good at your job and um and enjoy it. Because time flies um and uh you'll be retired before you know it. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Count down a day.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Count down. But um yeah, I think um it's I think if they f they've just gotta follow the heart for for a job in the care profession. Um I think they'll know the they'll know. They'll know. They'll know.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Yeah. And it's been great to have you.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

We've learnt so much. We really have. Yes. And I think um yeah, it's big insight into that world.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

A whole different world that we're not necessarily I mean, we are part of as people with disabilities and differences, but we're not really part of, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

So yeah, it's a different name of it all. So thank you for being here today, Angela. And thank you everyone for listening and watching today. We can't wait to have you sit with us next Wednesday. Bye.