The "Body Positivity" Trap | Are Gyms Still Failing Us?

Happy May! We are kicking off a brand new month by diving into the complex world of body positivity, fitness, and diet culture.

Faith shares a massive personal update: she’s running a half-marathon for Little Lady Locks! We discuss why she’s doing it "bald and brave" (no wig, no lashes, no brows) to support children with hair loss. 

Meanwhile, Zara gets real about the "gym-timidation" of being a wheelchair user, from inaccessible changing rooms to the "inspiring" comments that actually aren't that inspiring.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Zara and I'm Faye. And we would like you to sit down with us every Wednesday. Before we get into this episode, just a bit of a disclaimer that within this episode we will be talking about weight loss, fitness, and diet culture.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

If that's something that triggers you or you've had issues with it in the past or currently, then we would advise you to click off this video and catch us. Or just be aware that these are the topics that we are discussing today. Yes. And if you do wish not to watch it today, we'll see you next week. Yeah. I can't believe we're in May. I know, right? Happy 1st of May, every well, it's not the first of May as you're watching this, but happy May, everyone. Happy May. On this month and on more specifically today's episode, we're gonna dive right in to body positivity. Mm-hmm. Love and hate relationship with that term. Yeah. And I think when you first mention body positivity, you kind of think about looking in the mirror and picking out what's right and what's wrong and how other people will see you. And being people with different slash disabilities are visible, this really is a great conversation to be had for us and for anyone listening who might be also interested, is because it's just interesting to deep dive in and just seeing how that term is for us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

So this actually hits home for me because growing up, body positivity was a big thing, not only with dancing, but with my hair falling out from the age of 10. And so this at the end of this month, because we're in May, I still can't believe we're in May, I've said it twice already, but how is it May? At the end of this month, I am doing a half marathon for Little Lady Logs, a charity. Whoa! Yeah, a charity based in Manchester that supplies support, hair systems, hair alternative ways of working for them for young girls and also young boys now, um, which is really cool. And I love this charity so so much. And so if anyone is going for like a summer hair chop, if your hair chop is going to be like seven inches or more, please let us know and I will give you contact details on how to send it me because any hair seven inches or more can be used for a wig. And essentially, and it just goes a long way, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

If you're not in the position to donate hair, please, please, please use the link to donate money.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Any amount house pence a pound. Literally any amount house. Because these wigs aren't cheap. Like I was in a fortune, a very, very fortunate position growing up, which if you look back with our the podcast with my mum for our Mother's Day special, I talk about how many girls my age they couldn't afford the wigs that I was having, and at that time They're not cheap. They're not cheap. And at that point, the NHS coupon was a thing, but we are talking 10 years ago, and that is not a thing now, I believe. So yeah, but this charity, oh my heart, I love the charity so much.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Little Little Lady Locke. If you see me on the last Sunday of May wheeling about town, I'm just following faith. If you do see me, follow me as well, and we'll get to faith.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

And I will purposely not be wearing a wig, not be wearing eyebrows, not be wearing lashes in my little Lady Locke t-shirt. Oh, eh. Listen! Yeah, but that is why um body positivity body positivity hits so close to home for me. So can I just say, I've just realized. When yeah, you didn't mean to like colour coordinate right now. But I also just have to do it. I also can do it. Can you?

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Three, two, one. But yeah, so we this wasn't planned. No, this wasn't planned. You're literally navy top navy trousers. Trousers, bottoms, and base. I am literally opposite. But that doesn't show that we're two pieces of the same brain.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Yeah, I don't know what does. Mm-hmm. Love it. Literally. Yeah, well let's get into the yeah. Yeah. But I'm guessing from the half marathon, what made me because you can do a fundraiser for anything, like a da as a dancer, a dancer song probably makes more sense for me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I've done that in the past. Love the sound of that. Oh fun. So for 12 hours, we just danced. I did it at uni for the charity mind, and it was so fun.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Anyone else thinking about Gilmore Girls like now? Do you watch Gilmore? Have you watched Gilmore? Yeah, I watched Gilmore Girls. That episode. Yeah, yeah. They're like old, it's like in the 60s.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, I'd love to do that. But I think in terms of running and half marathons, I think it became a trend to do half marathons and get into running as a form of charity, yes, but a form to lose weight and I think to like feel better in yourself. And I think there's a fine line between running because you love it. Because don't get me wrong, I didn't love running before I started this, but I wanted to love running because I I did love running as like with high school. I like the long distance running, the 1500 metres, that was my bread and butter. And so yeah, but I think I definitely prefer running outside than in a gym. One because of my body temperature regulation, but also it's just more interesting. But I think the reason why people run has a bad rep to it. I think runners have got a bad rep to it. Similar to the hierarchies, people are doing it for a trend.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Yeah, and I think it all comes back to like the whole fitness industry. Like I see so many different videos on social media where people are like, oh my gosh, like fitness is fitness industry, fitness influencer, this doing that, they're doing that. And I'm sorry, what happened to letting people do what they want to do? Like I feel like it's it's almost as when people are like, you should calorie count. No, you shouldn't. This is not what I'm saying. You shouldn't calorie count, but if you want to calorie count, do it. If you want to eat to your heart desires, do that as well. Do it. And I think it's become in a way where like the people who are working out and the people who are at the gym, and not necessarily for weight loss, and I think that's one thing that people always assume that you go to the gym to look a certain way. Yeah. And 90% of gym goers, or like the ones that I've spoken to, it's for the mind. Gym isn't just for looking aesthetic. Yeah. It's it's for like, don't get me wrong, for me personally, looking and feeling a certain way comes to it because I'm not gonna lie, I use 99% of my upper body to move around. So being mostly muscle or being more lean helps. I'm not gonna lie and say I don't go for that purpose. Um, but yeah, like just I just think they the fitness industry gets a buy of the rep and it really triggers me sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

It's like for me personally, I've over-trained in the past, like especially through uni. Like I remember through like my master's training, we'd do a full like nine to five day of we'd have ballet contemporary rehearsals, like choreography, intense training from nine to five. I'd then go to the gym and run a 5k on the treadmill. Like, I was over-training and not fueling my body so much, which is also why two years prior to that I tore my hamstring because I wasn't fueling my body enough, the room was too cold, kicked my leg too high, and I tore my hamstring. And so that was again, I was not fueling my body, I was over-training myself, thinking I had to fit this certain type of a fitness person or dancer to fit an aesthetic.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Yeah, and it's I think it's important to note here is like too much of one thing is bad. Like if you were to be home 24-7, not see the light of day, not go for a walk, not go to the gym, you won't feel good. No. And yeah, that's that's the reality. But also, if you're at the gym 24-7, like you just said, you'd end up causing that accident. Yeah. And that also wouldn't be good. So balance is key.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Yeah, I think my key point and saying at the moment is everything in moderation. 100%. Like you're you're all we're only on this planet once. Literally. So I'm gonna enjoy it. And I always say if I see a gluten-free cake, I'm gonna eat the cake. Because very rarely do I see like a something gluten-free, not gonna lie. Like we were at Starbucks earlier today, and there was a new gluten-free brownie, and I'm like, I'm gonna get it. Like, sorry, I know it I've already had my lunch, but I'm gonna try that. I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

I know what I'm gonna be waiting with at the end of that marathon line. No. Like a big cake. Big gluten. Gluten-free cake.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Just like I'm not gonna say anything, I'm just gonna be like, Congrats. But um, no, I just I just think that in terms of the gym, like I've I've done the calorie counting thing. I've done the We've all been there.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

We've all counted how many little almonds we're gonna have.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Yeah, but it's like it's when I was measuring broccoli, I was like, what am I doing? Like, what am I measuring broccoli? So I think like there is there is a healthy way to do it and an unhealthy way to do it. And though, like I have friends that have done bodybuilding competitions, so yeah, you have to calorie count because it's regimented. It's you're literally being judged on your body and your muscle and your vascularity. So that makes sense. But and if you are wanting to lose weight, a lot of PTs will say just track your calories, also to be mindful of what you are eating and what your body needs, but not to over access.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

And also kind of just to kind of come on that as well, it's not necessarily just to lose weight. So, for example, I've got a coach at the moment, and I'm trying to build muscle in some areas, and even I have to calorie count to a certain extent, not necessarily to stay under a certain amount, not necessarily to eat less than I'm supposed to be, but more to see how much of something I'm eating. And if you know me personally, you know I'm not one to hold back if I want to eat something. And yeah. So I think it's important to know the different reasons of why people do something and not to judge. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

And I'd like like we've said, um I think people that post anything on about the gym, they get a bad rep. I hate that. Definitely. Like you're going to the gym, like you're getting out, and it's most of the time, anyone that goes to the gym, it's for their mental health regardless. Yeah. Even if you think it's not and it's for your body, if you weren't going, you'd feel like crap. It's when they say everyone is.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

You never regret a workout. Ever. And 90% of that is because of your mental state, of how good the endorphins that it really says. Don't get me wrong, my workout could be completely different to yours, but we both get the same endorphins. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

I think I've only ever walked out of a gym session once not feeling good, but that was not because of the gym, that was because of things going on outside of the gym in my personal life. That's the only time I've walked out of a session going, oh my gosh, I feel horrific. Yeah. Because you need space or you need time to process. But that was not because of the gym, it was because of things outside of them. That I needed to work through. So, but otherwise, every time I've been to the gym, unmotivated, motivated, forced to go, which my partner will say sometimes it has forced me to go, yes, you're right. It's good to have that. Push though. Yeah, it's good to have a push, but at the same time, at the end of the day, you do cut walk out of the gym feeling amazing. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

Or wheel. Yeah, of course. Excuse me. I can't believe you sat next to me and you said what you're like flying for my eyes in. This babe. Yeah, you wheel, you walk, you can do whatever.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

But yeah. I just turn. I turn out the gym. What? I leap out the gym, I dance out the gym. Fly out. Fly out. Yeah, with my jet pack. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

This is unraveling a super conversation.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Well, let's move on.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Talking about me wheeling out of the gym, one thing I am really passionate to shout about is how unaccessible the world obviously, but more to do with this video, gyms are. Gyms are like they are so unaccessible to the point that you wouldn't even believe. Number one, I've had situations at the gym where lifts have been out of order, but also out of order in the sense that it's been out of order for like two weeks. Yeah, yeah, should there be a fix.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Yeah. Should be fixed.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

And out of order in the sense that I've made the trip to the gym, then realised it's out of order. Not a courtesy email, not a courtesy call, nada. And also more of a I mean, I was gonna say more of a necessity, but a lift is a necessity. But equally necessary changing rooms. Yeah. Changing rooms being out of order really grinds my gears. And number one, I hate so I've I've had a dream where the disabled toilet was separate, like completely separate area to the normal space, which is great, love that for me. But also it was just used as a storage room. And I'm like, hang on a minute. No. No. Like there was like loads of different stuff in there. I'm like, not sure you're supposed to be doing this. No. And the other thing as well is when I would there was a point where this happened and they just said they've got that that I can go to they were like, oh, but like the female toilets are open. And I'm like, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

So it's like the because this makes me think. Think of all the past gyms I've been to and what have been accessible. So I used to work in a gym a few years ago, and like that was my first kind of job after uni. And looking back now, it was actually fairly accessible. It was all on one level. Um, and I think we did have a few people there that would come in in chairs, and I think we had one guy with that had a prosthetic leg and he would always go on the rowing machine. Ah, I love the rowing machine. So, yeah, but like so I'm trying to think of the process that we went through, but in terms of the disabled toilets, like our like it was either the shower was either always broke and it never got fixed, but and again, it wasn't attached to the actual female's toilets, like there wasn't a male or a female, it was just a disabled toilet, which I can say normal, like an everyday everyone used that basically. Like it was a it was everybody used it if you couldn't be bothered walking into the changing room. Everyone used it. And it's like, but the gym I go to now, it's not similar, but kind of similar. So the steps going up, and I think there's a lift there, but I've never seen it used the times that I've been there. Yeah. And the changing rooms, however, they both have a disabled toilet gender-wise. Oh, okay, that's nice. So I think every gym is slightly different because I've been to some gyms as well, and I'm like, thinking about it, it's steps up. The disability accessible toilet is at the other side of the gym, but there's no lift that I've seen to actually get up to the gym. So I'm like, actually, yeah, gyms have not taken that into accountability.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

And uh I was speaking to someone else about this whose gym's in London, and she was saying how there's listen to this. There's steps to get into the disabled toilet. The common sense hasn't said she was like, there's like a few steps to go to the disabled toilet. What? I genuinely have no words. Mind you, this place is a chain. It's a chain. It's a chain gym. And I was like, I can't.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

To be fair though, I think chain gyms sometimes are worse with this because they have like a set a set.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

See, I've always been to a chain chain gym and I've had problems at some point. Another problem that I've always had, which might not seem like an accessibility issue first hand, is for example the layout of the gym. So for example, so I keep saying for example, so for instance. Change it up. Yeah. Um for instance, the weight corner, you know, like the infamous all lads at the weight corner at the weight section, whatever. When I tried to go to the weight section at a particular gym, I'm not gonna name drop because I just know about that. At this particular gym, the the machines are so cramped against this weight section, my wheelchair physically can't get in. And so you're basically saying if you're in a wheelchair, that section isn't for you. Like one point, because there's four, like I'm not saying I'm gonna go pick up 20s, I'm not doing that, like weight wise. But I was literally about to go there to pick up fours, and I literally like had to snake myself in, and I actually hurt myself off one of their machines because I was like trying to get in, and I'm not the biggest, like my wheelchair isn't the biggest wheelchair ever. So if I can't get in, a lot of people can't. But yeah, so that annoyed me. And I don't think that really annoys me personally, is I don't understand this this is not necessary, but the maps are on a hangar so high, so freaking high. They're all the same, and so it's annoying because every time I go grab one, obviously I'm struggling, so immediately it's like, oh, helpless disabled person. Whereas if it was on a right, yeah, like right like level, I would have been able to do it. And sometimes, don't get me wrong, I have enough rage to just like yank it. But another problem is then I can't put it back on. And you know how every sign at the gym is like put your equipment back. And so every time I leave it there, it makes like it like goes through me because I'm like, I'm not doing this by children. Yeah. And that really annoys me. I get that. And yeah, I'm like going hot and like all flustered. But flustered.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Well, speaking of getting hot and flustered, when I'm in the gym, yeah, right, I just get stared at. That's what I feel I get stared at. I might not do, but I feel I do. I think, especially if I go to a new gym, everyone's like, whoa, who's this new bull chick? Like, yeah, yeah. I guess I feel stared at to the point that I know. So there's there's times when I've been out in town just on a daily shop, or like I've just been out enjoying my time with family, with my partner, outside of the gym in like normal clothes, right? People have literally come up to me and go, Oh, do you go to XYZ gym? Stop it. And I'm like, part of me literally wants to go, well, is there another bald girl there? Because I'm sorry, clearly you can just recognise my head. No. Notice that I'm a girl, and then comment. But I'm like, who are you? What's your name? Where have you come from? I actually haven't don't think I've actually met or spoke to you in my life before. I don't recognise you. And I'm like, love the type of like interaction and trying to be social, but do it in the gym. Actually, talk to me face to face. Learn my name, not just the bald girl from the gym, which I've had for years now.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Oh yeah, I've I've had sense. I've had people come up to you and being like, you are such an inspiration. Meanwhile, I'm like mid-squat, trying not as a guy. Not the time. Not the time. And I just think I was gonna say there's a time and place for that, but there isn't. Like, don't come up to me and call me an inspiration unless I'm doing a speech or I'm doing a TED talk. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not an inspiration just because I'm doing a squat. Fair enough. Like maybe I'm an inspiration if I'm doing a marathon. Maybe. But even then, everyone does marathon. I mean, not everyone, but like, even if like if every one of these people do marathons and it's not inspiration for them, then it shouldn't be for me.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

I think it's more the point of like people have such a closed, like, they've closed blinkers. Oh yeah. So they don't see that there's other people with different abilities that still go to the gym. So I think it's that they say, oh my gosh, that's so inspirational because it's shocked them so much that it's inspired them to probably keep going. And to probably think that their bad day is actually a really not a bad day. No. You know, so I'm thriving babes.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Um, and I think going off like people not knowing and almost having blinkers on, is the fact that I, as a person with mobility issues, can squat. And a lot of people are really shocked about that. And don't get me wrong, I can't just like drop and give you 20. I can't do that. And my version of a squat is basically holding on to something and then squatting. But I do it, I do it in my own version. It's not like I've gone, oh I can't do it, so I'm not even gonna attempt. So a lot of the times you'll find people with disabilities adapt. exercises for their for themselves and it's not like we don't just say, Oh, we can't do it, so we're not gonna do it. We are very adaptable. Yeah. Independence. Independent. Yes. So yeah, I think it's good to just know and not to assume. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

But yeah, adding on from feeling like I'm being stared at, because I'm very recognisable, whenever I'm in the gym and I'm trying something new, I feel like I can't fail. So I love trialing calisthetics at the moment. So my handstands on is it all trip I don't even know what it's called. I just grab some things I start doing handstands. Yeah, but that and then my pull-ups anything like that I love to try and give a go because I could do pull-ups in the past I want to get them back again. Which to be fair my partner will vouch for me. I did like one or two the other week and I was very impressed with myself. All of that. But yeah, I feel like I don't have room to fail in the gym because I'm always being watched. See I just a mean thing and a perception of myself because of how many eyes I feel like are on me.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

It's it's the same with me. So for example the other day I was at the gym and you know those bars where like people put weights on them again something that's not accessible is how high the blooming bars are sometimes but one one day I just wheeled into the gym and the bar was like on a really low surface and I was like that's my time to shine but wait oh I again I felt like all eyes were on me and don't get me wrong I can bench press well I used to be able to bench press like 30 and that's to me that's pretty impressive. Um so I was like okay I'm just gonna do this and it hasn't it has been a while since I've been bench pressing so I went to lift it up and then it kind of like jolted jolted yeah and I was like that's so embarrassing because basically 99% of the eyes were on me and I feel like if that was any other person no one would probably have noticed.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

And I think yeah that was like now it's scared me off even ever going near anything that's yeah so I think to put this back to body positivity that's why I'd love to see more more individual diversity and inclusivity within fitness media. Yeah so that's from like Gymshark I know we spoke about that they've had a disabled mannequin in the past like a wheelchair mannequin in the past I just want I want to see more of that I want to see more body positivity in terms of inclusivity going on within the fitness world and just like more sports accessibility yeah more sport access and like yeah more sports people taking into account accessibility uh disabilities and just yeah we just we just want more body positivity for everyone yeah not just people of difference or with a disability but to feel comfortable in a gym I think that's that's the key yeah because I think a lot of people start their gym journeys not feeling comfortable in the gym and that was me. I didn't step foot into a gym until I had actually torn my hamstring.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

And I think that's put sorry to put in but like a lot of people feel like that. Yeah and I think it's normal very but also it's harder for us because like you said we've been blotched.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Yeah I mean at the time I when I first started going to the gym I don't think I think I still had my hair at the moment I was wearing a headband and I was swimming so I'd wear a c like a swimming cap. So basically my physio was to swim for my hamstring health and also like some hamstring exercises that I could do in my room basically but then as COVID was about to happen I was just getting into the gym and then COVID happened you know so I started running and doing my physio at home and then going back to the gym after COVID I really didn't want to like but I knew I had to because of my training and my dance training but even me who I train every day at that point every day dancing in the studio to stepping to a gym was the most daunting thing I could ever think of and I did not want to do it. So going from someone who I was very fit I was very athletic not wanting to go to the gym like I can't even imagine how it feels for someone who feels self-conscious about themselves to then think they have to like they want to go to the gym. I bet it's so daunting and so I think that push and that movement to make gyms more I guess friendly and inviting I think the gyms have a rep of like you get the the meatheads and the muscle crazy and I think this comes with having more awareness of disabilities within your trainings.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

Yeah and I just think with more awareness within the industry and PTs and just people who work at the gym like it would go a long way for someone's experience with the diff who has a different slash disability and one example of that is a place I used to go to I am actually going to give them a shout out because I love them. We sculpt um they're mainly in Manchester but they've just opened I say just it's been a couple of months um in London one their first studios and it's basically like a Pilates on like a hybrid Pilates on a reformer bed and it's it's great it's like more strengthening than regular Pilates but it's a great time and what I loved about their studio is one fully accessible throughout and the other thing I loved is because as someone with a disability and with all these horrible experiences I've experienced in the past that we've just talked about it was important for me to feel included. Yeah and walking in straight away everyone was lovely but what really shocked me the most is my first class um actually no not my first class so yeah so my first class going in the trainer pulled me aside and she was like this is like this is the bed and they do that with every um person not just because I was disabled and then but also she said she ran through the routine with me and she said this is what we do and obviously she hadn't worked with me before she was like if there's any that you can't do let me know and she adapted it for me and I thought okay like she's doing that because it's the first up first episode first session blah blah blah clearly in the thingy mindset the podcast mindset um and then going on from that every single session different um different instructors not just that one person different instructors did the exact same thing so every time I'd go in about five minutes before they'd run through the routine with me and I would either I would have them come up with something different or they would already be thinking about something different. Wow and I I think that just it might be like five minutes of their time or two minutes of their time and obviously their time is valuable so I'm not saying that doesn't mean anything but it was such a short amount of time for them but it meant so so so much to me and I think that's what we're trying to show that like the little things do really mean a lot and I just I just love them and I know we've kind of said many negative things about the industry but I just wanted to give them a shout out because they're great. So if you are around Manchester or happen to be in London just check them out.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Re-sculpt re-sculpt studios love them that's really sweet that's really cool that they've actually just gone out of their way to because that's that's a I was shocked. I was shocked Michael very good that is a very good teacher characteristics of themselves.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

100% because what makes a good teacher is that everyone can be included in the class yes yeah I truly appreciate that and I truly yes there was moments where people were doing lunges and I was doing something with the straps like doing an arm workout but I felt truly included and it I wasn't just sat there letting them do their thing and I was just on the sidelines which what happened to me 99% of the time during PE in school but we will talk about our school experiences in future episodes.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

But I think one tool that can be used massively within this industry is social media and I think we're already seeing it used and we're already seeing body positivity which I love to see but we're also seeing like toxic like the toxic side of body positivity which is almost like the the health thing the overanalysing things the being accessive with everything but I think social media can be used in a way to almost validate another community which is the dis the disability and people of difference community which I said before like it'd be great if Gymshark different brands would include these people which one of my first shoots was Nike and they included me within their Nike Well collective brand and I felt so a part of something big there. Yeah because they even thought about my poor head in the sun they brought sun cream they asked if I was too hot too cold like it was it was a really love really lovely photo shoot and so I wish that I just I just wish I saw more of that in social media because social media has a rep to be fake to be full of filters and really show a false representation of what a gym goer life is like. Yes and I just I agree. Because I think social media as well talking body positivity you want to see this like filter like almost this filtered life you see everyone's highlighted reels on in on Instagram and TikTok specifically you don't see the downfalls the fails you see the highlights and the highlights like I said normally include a filter normally include some sort of like like perfect skin, big eyes, long lashes, perfect brows, perfect hair like perfect body, summer body and I just think that is very damaging for people starting their fitness journeys or just understanding how they want their body to be and look I think it's very damaging. So I think it needs to start possibly there first because it's such a big turning point for so many hundred percent other aspects of life at the hand and talking about looking and being perfect through social media's eyes Botox.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Yeah I think Botox is a way longer conversation to be had and one that we will delve into in future episodes.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

I think with with Botox I am a love and hate of it because if you're open and honest that you have you have it great but if you're coming if you're coming out saying this skincare routine has got rid of my wrinkles no no no like be honest be authentic with your followers please I'm someone that I believe that maturing and growth and age is beautiful. Yeah like I don't want to get rid of my wrinkles because it makes me then almost look at my mother and my grandmother and her mother and her mother after that to say like wrinkles are ugly and wrinkles aren't nice. When actually like wrinkles show wisdom it shows love it shows experiences like I don't get where it's come from to once I get rid of these I think definitely tabloids and social media obviously but I think that's always going to be my opinion I guess until like I'm very blessed right now I don't have any wrinkles 25 you know sometimes get the odd bag if I've not slept but you know but I think in terms of wrinkles wise if you're gonna promote a product because put S serum's got rid of your wrinkles when actually it's a botox and be honest with your followers and I'm only saying that because I know people that I followed that have done that.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

So and I think it's also what the wrinkles represent yeah like I'm sorry laugh lines are there because you're laughing you're having a great time why would you want to get rid of that like no like do you want to look like a statue?

SPEAKER_01 35:04

No and we're all for do what you would like and I'm also for that and like looking and feeling your best and all that jazz but also I think where I feel like we should draw the line is advertising that and just being like I use Botox come with me to get Botox blah blah blah yeah I think what makes me quite sad and really think twice about it is looking at the individual of where they've got to to think they need it.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

And I only say this because I was once at a club we'd had a few gins Faith yes she had a few gins she's allowed and out on the sound yeah still got ID'd of course but I wore my wig this night out which I actually loved and I think I'll be doing more often because less people stop me less drunk people want to know my life story and I could just honestly just enjoy my time with the people that I'm with without without actually hearing whispers and like like like talking about my head which not necessarily with you but about me which I hear I'm sorry drunk people are rude no offense if you're hearing this drunk but drunk people are rude. So like I get I get every time I've been out there's always been an instance with a drunk individual being rude to me or just overstepping and like asking very invasive questions that I've already said I don't want to answer. Anyway but this one woman started talking to me and started talking about relationships and I know we talk about a lot of relationships on this podcast but I think it's a character building and where we are in our life right now. But this woman she told me she was 32 no word of a lie I thought she was my age she looked 25 she looked like mid-20s at ager but she basically she's telling me she went on a date with this guy and the guy actually asked her how old she is and basically said she looks older than 30 35. Okay. Even though she's 32 apparently she looked older than 35 because of her wrinkles this guy actually said this to her and then he kind of said yeah it gets to an age and you just need it don't you that's what the guy said to her by the way and so she was honestly debating getting Botox within the next week just said she said she's had she's had the consultation like the first initial like talk of what she wants and how much she wants she's had that conversation and she just said she'll get back to them and their next consultation would have been this next week and I just remember literally I bought her a drink and I was like look I've had a drink you've had a drink but let's talk about this because this is not where this is not your reason.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

No fair enough do it for you but not because of other people's opinions.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

No and I think that's where the line gets blurred.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

If you're doing it for yourself by all means do it. Go for it. Like do what do it I don't wear wigs for myself but I will not diss anyone that does wear wigs like you do you.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

This is why I always feel like it's an it's wrong and annoying when people put it on social media because that instantly tells me you're not doing it for you. There's it's all well and good like we said to advertise something like this is not like saying a cream dinner but not Botox.

SPEAKER_01 38:23

You can say you've had Botox but you can say in a non-advertising way I think that's the truth and if it genuinely is collagen I want to see a true before and after photo. Yeah you know like show us evidence. All these skincare brands coming out saying it's a collagen thing is it really or is it a filter? Is your are your models just full of filter? Yeah like I just I d that's another thing on social media you don't know what's real and what's fake. No. Because everything is normally blurred and that line is so hard to see even more so with AI it's even harder to understand what's real and what's fake. So in terms of body positivity just really focus on yourself and who you want to be personally and reach out to those people that will big you up and that will help you on that journey not put you down and sway you towards a decision that you're already a 50-50 on in speaking of fakeness on today's myth educational myth we've got an educational one for you I don't think we've ever had an educational one. I think they're all educational because it's changing everyone's perceptions but this one is definitely educational educational.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

So um talking about Botox I want the the myth is that Botox is just for beauty and just for like your face and just like on a like a really what's the word cosmetic yeah that was the word it's a very co on a cosmetic level well Botox is actually used medically a lot. For example but me personally I use Botox in a medical in a medical way I don't really want to go throughout the procedure and talk about the procedure because I personally won't feel comfortable doing that. So without going too much into it it's basically used in a way on my organs to make it function how it's supposed to function. Yeah essentially that was a really like secretive way. But if you know you know it's one of those and yeah like I said I won't I don't personally feel comfortable to talk about the ins and outs I'm sure you'd understand but yeah just to say um Botox isn't always for cosmetic purposes and there's been times where I've like yeah I've had Botox like I'd had to disclose it to certain people because of a certain situation and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

And they're like I almost get sometimes a judgmental look and it's it's a bit like yeah I think that's another thing there's with the judgment on Botox if you genuinely have gone out and got Botox be proud of that you've got no shame at all. No. But if you've done it because off the back of a comment or off the back of an opinion or off the back of a social media trend maybe double think that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

Yeah. But yeah so that was our myth for today. Yeah educational one always here to educate the girls and the gays and the guys and everyone here and everyone in the room with us.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

But I guess just to wrap up today's app and also a bit of a look into next week next week's app um we don't judge a book by its cover.

SPEAKER_02 41:30

No.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

And I think that is essential going forward throughout May and throughout the summer months coming up because like more skin will be on show more people will be coming out their comfort zone to become more confident in themselves and allow that don't be that negative nanny and negative nanny negative nancy negative nanny I love that well don't be a negative nanny or negative nancy.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

If you're a nanny and your name is Nancy then this is weird view. Yeah let's be kind and let's just support people this summer through whether it's a a gym situation where there is a physical difference they're going through whether you're in a bikini and you have a scar and you feel self-conscious just think you might be paving a way for someone who's covering up and they see you and they're like hang on a minute I look like her I'm gonna get my body out.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

You don't actually this is a very good point you don't know who you're naturally inspiring every day. You don't know who you're naturally inspiring every day. You really don't it's great. So yeah. And and just for a little bit of a dig, if you want to wear bikini, wear bikini If you know you know from if this is like from a few months ago now. But if you want to wear bikini wear bikini.

SPEAKER_00 42:49

If if you want to wear a thon bikini wear a bikini wear a thumb bikini. If you want to wear a full on bodysuit at the gym at the gym at the gym at the beach do it. If you want to cover up cover up if you don't want to cover up in a in a non in a way that's not going to get you arrested do it. Do it also just to kind of wear off that but kind of stay on the right tracks I feel like oftentimes I've had it in situations where I've had like bikini bottoms and if you don't know me personally then you won't know this but I've got a massive scar on my back and sometimes when I'm like lying on my back obviously because you want to tan everywhere so I start lying my back the scar is visible and like I get up to like grab a sip of water whatever and I notice everyone's been staring and I can appreciate to some people that will literally make you want to cover up. Yeah but don't give it like I'm sorry are you gonna think when you're like in your eighties being like oh I covered up that day because Joe on the next chair was staring at me. And no you're not even gonna think of the names You don't know them. Then they're strangers.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

So can I just say this is Vicky Patterson? Is that her name? She came from Geordie Shaw. Vicki Patterson. She literally said, No one is going to be at your funeral. This is going to sound a bit morbid, but no one's going to be at your funeral going, God, she looked great in a bikini. Like, God, she looks shit. Like, I'm glad she wore a t-shirt. No one is going to be saying that. They're going to be like, oh, remember that summer in Capri. Yeah, those last we had. Remember, like, imagine remember that trip to Venice. Remember that road trip and the beach. Like, no one's going to care at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

And I know we're a podcast about mainly for people with disabilities, fast differences, but that goes for everyone. 100%. If you've got something you're insecure about for your body, do you know what? Um, what's the word? Exposure therapy.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

If anything, do what scares you. Trust me, you feel better. Hopefully. But yeah, I think to be fair, that's what worked for me. One day I was like, because I've got a scar on my front and my back. To be fair, I actually controversial, but I actually love my scar on my front because I'm just like, it's just really cute. Really weird describing it. Um scar as cute, but it's part of the cute. And but the one on my back, oh gosh, I absolutely hate it. Like I I can't even think about it too much because yeah. But whenever I'm like in a hot country, whenever I'm getting the bikini, I'm like, it's my back. Couldn't care less. Yeah. And even if it wasn't my front, again couldn't care less because I'd rather if it's 40 degrees outside, I'd rather be comfortable, comfortable, in a good temperature, not being caught because I might be being judged. And can I just say, people will judge you anyway.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

Thousands. Just go do it. Just go do it. Thousands. Like the amount of times I get judged for not for like going out bald. I've had grown men roll their eyes thinking I'm crazy. I've had we've had it all. We've had it all. So who cares? Everyone's gonna judge you no matter what you do. So And as we always say I see it all the time as celebrities, they say they're too big, they lose weight, they're then too skinny. Everyone's always gonna have an opinion on you. So just literally in the nicest way possible, sod them off and do what you want to do. I was about to say, as we always say, do you. Do you yeah. Mm hmm. But I think that brings the pod to an end for you.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Before we start throwing hands. Yeah, literally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Um So thank you for watching and thank you for listening. Hope you come back for next Wednesday. Next Wednesday. Bye. Bye.