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"You’re So Inspiring" — The Hidden Burden of Online Confidence

• Faith & Zara • Episode 20

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0:00 | 35:17

"You can't judge someone’s highlight reel because you don’t know the struggle it took to make it." 

This week, Faith and Zara are giving social media culture a massive reality check. They also take aim at toxic productivity "gurus," calling out that viral Stephen Bartlett clip claiming a single glass of wine "ruined three days of his life."

Finally, the girls get completely transparent about their own private lives. Faith opens up about burnout and why she recently wore her wig to the cinema just to escape public staring and blend in, while Zara breaks down the illusion of constant confidence. 

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SPEAKER_00

Hello, sit down with us and get comfortable. As today we're going to talk about our own realities. But before we get into that, we're going to talk a little bit about social media realities.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And maybe a little bit of Stephen Bartlett. Well stay tuned. Stay tuned for that.

SPEAKER_01

And if you're new here, please like, subscribe. If you're watching, subscribe to our YouTube channel, and if you're listening on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, then leave a little review, please. We would love to know your thoughts and ideas and future episode ideas. Yeah. For that matter. And yeah, let's get on with it.

SPEAKER_00

So I think first we need to address uh social media realities compared to actual realities.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Like, don't get me wrong, I love social media, and it's through social media that I believe that I've got some of my confidence in life, especially following people who are on similar journeys to me or have a visible disability or just like a disability in general. Um, my watch is telling me to roll. I can't be doing that right now. Thanks. We are on a roll. We are on a roll, on a different type of roll. Anyway, also, if you in case you didn't know, again, we love to digress, but this is actually for my wheelie gals and boys. In case you didn't know, your Apple Watch can actually record your roles. Really? Yeah, everyone's surprised. Like I told my PT she was like, seriously, and I was like, seriously. This is technology in its prime. If you were thinking, if you feel like you're missing out on the whole 10k 10k steps and all that jazz, you can record your roles. Yeah, that's cool. Get an Apple Watch. I don't know if any other like garments and all that jazz do them, but Apple Watch definitely does that.

SPEAKER_00

I guess as we're on the basis of like step count and garments or whatever the other ones are, I think, especially just from doing my run, which so proud of you by the way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. We've not really I think we kind of like brushed past that.

SPEAKER_00

But it was I am going to talk about more the aftermath later on in the pod in this episode. But just on the preface of like social media reality to actual reality, I don't think people realise the ups and downs of running or the ups and downs of a workout and a training plan. Like it's not all rainbows and roses and that's great.

SPEAKER_01

As social media is, I feel like in the recent years, like the five decays, the 10ks, the all of that has become a bit of a trend. Yeah. And I don't think people realise that not everyone can do a 5k. No. And I'm not just saying that because I'm saying like people are disabled. No, like not even your average able-bodied person can do a 5k.

SPEAKER_00

Honestly, when I start when I first started running, I I couldn't run a 5k. Like I would could barely do like I wasn't a runner. I was a dancer. It's hard. Running was actually I was told not to run as a dancer because it's supposed to like really mess with your ankles, your shins, like your calves. It's hard work. Like as a dancer, I was built a different way to move, not to run on concrete. I was built to jump on a sprung floor, on a sprung dance studio, you know, on a rage stage within heels. Like I was built differently. And so to then run, it's completely different how your heels work and how you run and different shoes, and I think people get way too caught up in how you should do things rather than just learning it along the way. Yeah. And I think that's just the running side of things. And honestly, some running community is so nice, but if you want to take a bag of water with you just for like a 1-2K, do it. If you need to take a bag and a rucksack with you just for a walk, do it. I do. Where else am I going to put my keys?

SPEAKER_01

I literally I think there was this thing that I'd seen on social media where people were taking the mick out of people who wear running vests for 5Ks. Yeah. And I'm like, if you want to wear a running vest to walk down the road, do it. Like, why do we care? Why are we judging?

SPEAKER_00

I think it was like a run club or something. I don't know where it was. I think it was like a London run club. Did this. It's like, what are your running icks? And I was like, how is it an ick if someone's running? Like, let's just take that back for a second. Yeah. Because I'm sorry, it is a privilege to be able to run. It's a privilege to be able to change your clothes every morning. It's a privilege to be able to have different experiences every day. So why are you actually saying that's an ick when actually that's a privilege?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because I know like some ic are crazy and some icks are like over the top, but like this ick in particular is just stupid. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

Again, that is where the highlights of social media and reality people's brains get lost, which is where the very, I guess, blind-sided, small-minded comments and opinions come from. Yeah. Because they're so fixated on themselves, which is great, you should be selfish, but the world is much bigger than you.

SPEAKER_01

Have a bit of grace. Yeah. Have some thought process before you.

SPEAKER_00

But that's just one side of the highlight. This has just come to mind as we started this conversation with you talking about your your wheels.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, like this wasn't even in like our thought process to talk about this today. No. This wasn't part of that. But yeah, I just think I I know I just said like people get pressured into doing things, and I promise you, this is not being pressured into doing it. But I have the ta before I get into it, I have the type of personality, I was just saying this before off camera, that I when it comes to things that aren't traditionally meant for disabled people, it makes me want to do it. Because as weird as this sounds, I always think, what if I have a child in the future and they're like, oh, this is cool. Have you ever done a 10k? Like, I don't want to say no. I don't know why. Like, I don't have to be like, no, I haven't done it because I can't do it. Like, I just want to prove to myself and my future children that anything is possible.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I think also what's made you sign up was watching me.

SPEAKER_01

I was about to come to that.

SPEAKER_00

But not watching me and me being the issue and being the problem. I think it was the fact that being a spectator. Oh my god, the vibes, you know the sentence, the vibes of immaculate, truly immaculate. That, but this is where I go back to social media versus reality because being a spectator, I can imagine to be stressful. Like doing the run for me was great. Like I loved every minute of it. You can see the photos on Smile and every single photo looking like a psychopath. But the point being that when I finished, I was a lost puppy. I had not a clue where to go. I was just so happy that I found my people. Yeah. Like, because I did it on my own, I didn't run with anybody. So, which I also think is fine. I think a lot of people think if you do a half marathon or do a you need to have someone, you know, like everyone on the run, you just talk to people, you just everyone is supporting everyone. Yeah, that's pretty simple. Yeah, well, we will we but we can't if you saw someone slowing down, you'd be like, come on, you got this. And because you've got your name on your top, everyone's like, Come on, faith.

SPEAKER_01

I'm trying to figure out where to put my name because if I do it there, I'm so low you can't see it. I might have to put it on the back on the back. Yeah, you can. On my chair.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I um some people have two. I think that's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, but I put mine on my backpack. Well, on like the bit at the front, I'm not gonna do that because it writ. Oh you do not PS my water bottle, but that's that's that's my problem. That's some stuff for an old day.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, I just think so. Yeah, in to get into that, I am actually signed up to do the 10k. Which slightly scared, slightly nervous, but I am doing it with you. Yeah. Which I feel like we're just going for a laugh. Yeah. And technically speaking, I think we have six hours. I don't know. I mean, we're not I'm not gonna take six hours to think that will be a bit of a joke. That would be a new kind of record to do a 10k in six hours. But I'm I'm gonna I'm going for a good time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, go for a good time. I think that's another thing. People think when you do these half marathons and you do these 10ks, 5k's, marathons, whatever it is, even the ultras, you have to go to like get a certain time and to like get a PB and to get across the finish line. A lot of people actually don't cross the finish line. Like a lot of people do struggle, and that's normal to struggle.

SPEAKER_01

Another thing I feel like the bad side of social media, when it especially when it comes to runners and all that jazz, is people judging other people's pace. Yeah. Like I've seen it so many times where people have put up their what's the what's the app? Runner? Runner, Strava. Strava, that's the one. Strava, and it's like it shows you your pace per minute. And if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, I'm only new link to the game, so I don't really know what I'm talking about. But it's like it tells you how many miles, how many minutes it took you to do a mile or something. And a lot of people look at that for other people and like, oh my god, that's so slow, that's this, that's that. And I'm like, it's like, but like equally on the other side of it, you see someone doing a mile in two minutes, whereas I do it in five minutes, and you're like, damn, what am I doing wrong? But it's like different bodies built differently. But you know what?

SPEAKER_00

There's a girl, oh, I really need to know her name, but she is basically running, she ran the marathon, the Manchester Marathon in April, and she ran it, she crossed the finish line, she did it, and she showed everyone the process and how many gels she took, how many fluids she took, how much like she had like sweets and stuff and snacks, and as an oversized lady that she was, as an oversized woman, people berated her that she walked it and didn't run it. She says she so she didn't actually do a marathon. And I'm like said by someone in the comments that probably didn't do the marathon and didn't watch the marathon.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, yeah. Isn't the definition of a marathon the distance not necessarily running the it's the distance?

SPEAKER_00

People people walk it like that's why you've got six hours. Yeah. I think to a fair, I think it's longer for a marathon. Yeah. A lot longer than a marathon, but um yeah, I think it's I think it's ridiculous to berate someone and be negative to someone for their success. And I think this is where people you you can't judge someone's highlight real because you don't know the struggle they've had to make that highlight real for themselves. And I think when you see a lot of people online, when they see someone doing better than themselves, yeah, they'll bring them down because they're feeling annoyed that they're not there and they've not done that. 100%.

SPEAKER_01

And I think going back to not to make this whole thing about me and my 10k, I at first at the beginning of this journey a couple of day couple of weeks ago, I was like, I'm gonna do a series about like my journey to 10k, and I was like, hang on a minute, I don't want to show my pace of like 10 minutes, and someone being like, That pace is actually really shit, con considering you were literally on wheels.

SPEAKER_00

Like the thing is though, when it's about that, it's not about the pace, it's about you've done it in the end. Unless you're going for a PV. Yeah, if you're going for a PV, go. Like, I with my half marathon, I didn't mean to get a PB. I was just having such a good time. On it, like I was just having such a good time. I made a phone call halfway to you, so I've got 10k left.

SPEAKER_01

I was just on the thing, it gives you the estimates, doesn't it? Yeah, and you were estimated at that point not being nowhere near 10k, and then you rang us and you were like, Oh, I'm 10k away. We were like, What? Yeah, like that was amazing for me, and I think that's also what it is the the at like we were talking about, the vibes being immaculate, the atmosphere.

SPEAKER_00

I think I can't wait to. If you want to see the reality of like a good human and like humanity, go to a race. Yeah, I swear to god, go to a race because no one is there bringing you down, no one is judging, no one is berating each other. No, everyone is there honestly just to see you succeed.

SPEAKER_01

And I think more often than not, the people who are doing those kind of things and blue rating all that are the people sat on the sofas not having a clue about that and jealousy, the the green-eyed monster, to say it further into my mic, green-eyed monster, like jealousy.

SPEAKER_00

Anyone, everyone listening for the ghost in the back.

SPEAKER_01

So, yeah, I just think let people be people. Yeah. You do you, and let them do them. Then like we'll all be happy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But it's like as much as we all want to be happy, no one really posts their not so happy reels. So it's like, yes, we all try to be authentic, we all try to show our like good and bad sides on social media, but we all have a personal essence that we won't share on social media. 100%.

SPEAKER_01

Whether it's medical or what we're going through personally or it's crazy because we post pretty much every day on social media with like the nature of our jobs and the nature of our the industry we're in. And half the stuff, like about I think about like 70% of the things that goes on in our lives, social media doesn't have a clue about.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

And I think but what I think is crazy is that the people who follow us, or like follow people with big um big followings, think they know every single thing about their life just because they post every day.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

Genuinely, not to sound weird, but you don't have a clue.

SPEAKER_00

No. I think not have a clue. Like you definitely build everyone does this, they build a particular life for themselves online for what they want people to know for what they want to raise a raise awareness for. And it's like if I wanted to talk about the reason why I had a blood test a few weeks ago, I'd talk about it. Yeah. But it's not something I need to talk about.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

You know? To all the celiacs out there, we should be getting blood tests every six months. But I didn't know that until I found out recently. What do you want to talk about why? Yeah, I think there's something about our nutritional um differences and deficiencies changes at the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And again, if you follow faith on social media, I don't talk about it. You you wouldn't know any of that.

SPEAKER_00

No. I but they don't need no one needs to know about that because I don't even know about it. No. Literally. Like I can't tell you anymore. We're finding out. We're still finding that.

SPEAKER_01

So like no, I think yeah, there's just it's like you need to take social media with opinions. And I hate the I think there's like a line, but I can't think of the exact line, but the idea that people think, oh, but they're sharing a life, they they want opinions, they they should expect expect the hate, they should expect no. My thing is, one, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Do not say it. Scroll past. Scrolling is free. It's a thing. It's free. Very easy to do. Slick of the wrist. Like, come on. Come on.

SPEAKER_00

That's how you got on my video, just keep going. Yeah. And another thing is like, why do you think hate is needed in the first place? Like, what yeah. Like, why? Like, it's a shame that people think that hate needs to come from someone's success. And there there is a big saying, I think, within this industry of people saying, once you have hate, once you have a hate comment, you've made it. Yeah, but I also don't agree with that because why does it need to get to that point? Yeah, literally. But it's like people, it's just it's it's foul. It's like, why? Like, why we need to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01

For example, this I followed this lady who was basically embracing her size and didn't care what anyone says, which was good on her. But this, I used to look at her comments every single day. She used to get a lot of hate for needing to lose weight, this, that, and the other, and I just thought that was horrible. Anyway, because of all this hate, obviously it affected her mental health. She came off for six months. When she got back, she had lost a lot of weight, and she basically didn't discuss how she lost it, and now she's getting a lot of hate for having lost the weight. And I just think on social media, if you listen to the comments, if you let the comments get to you, you cannot. I was gonna swear, but like you cannot win. No, that's not the answer. Yeah, and at the end of the day, you don't owe people anything. I was gonna say people who don't know you, but also you don't even owe people who know you. As long as you're not harming anyone, yeah, do you and I think that's what social media needs to realise.

SPEAKER_00

Literally. Do you do you? I think sticking with the social media thread here and the comparison, I think we're all very quick to judge our successes on other people and like compare our successes from whether that's a career, uh a career path or where you are in life, whether you're married with kids, if you have a house, if you've got to be a good one. We've all been guilt into that. If you've got if if you've got that modelling job, or if you've got if you've a dancer and someone else has booked a job that you wanted, we compare our successes to other people. Yeah. But all I'd say to that is you've had other successes that that other person has not had.

SPEAKER_01

Don't get me wrong, I do think a little bit of competition is healthy. It is, and like it makes you think like I should strive more, but also you don't really see the exact steps that it took that person to get to do that, that you've just seen the end result.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but I I also see it as everyone has their own path in life. Yeah, and there's no timeline. Yeah. Like we're not running out of time. No. Like technically, us right now, first season of friends. Now I know I've said it before in the past, yeah, but it's like people think they're running out of time. Literally. And it's like you're not, and I think even recently, Grace Beverly and Stephen, not Stephen, he's later, we're talking about him, Simon Squib, they talk about how fail failure is key to learning what you love to do. And like you're you may as well figure out what you want and try different things. 100%. If you can manage the worst case scenario, like go for it, try new things, trial and error, basically.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

First season of friends, may as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And I I saw this thing and I actually used it for a trend on my own Instagram, and it was basically like I I apply it to myself, and obviously, like if you have a disability, if you have a difference, you kind of get in your head in a bit a little bit of being like, Why me, why this, why that? I wish this was different, I wish that was different. And we've all been there, whether you like to admit it or not, we've been there. And I for myself can admit that I've been there as well. And you just have to think at the end of the day, you might have your struggles, you might have a completely different life than the one you imagine to have, and the than the one that's like the social media norm, I guess. But you're only gonna be this young and hot for once in your life. You're only gonna be the age you are and the however young you are once in your life. And what do you want to do? Do you want to look back when you're like 80, 90, being like, oh yeah, I didn't do that because an able-bodied person did it better than me. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Well, like, I'll Vicki Patterson. I'm gonna go back to what she said, and I've mentioned it before in a different episode, but basically she said, no one it's a bit morbid, oh my god, I just realised, it's no one's gonna be at your funeral saying she looked great in a bikini. No, you know, they're gonna be like, I remember that day on Blackpool Beach, you know, I remember that day, no, like when we just took a solo trip to Paris, or when we like they're gonna remember the times and the the not experiments, but the trial and errors, the the experiences. Yeah, they're gonna remember that over the reasons why you didn't do something. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think it people just need to I don't know what that was. People just need to. You just need to. You just need to.

SPEAKER_00

But like finish that sentence for you. You need to do whatever you want to do. Yeah, in the comments, let us know what you need to. Well yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah? Let us know. Okay. Obviously, yeah. Right, it's come to this time in the podcast now. Well, we're about to digress, if you don't shut up. So I think social media, podcast-wise, a lot of it's like verbatim and word is gold, and it's like a new bloody Bible.

SPEAKER_01

And I think we've talked in the past where people have given their unsolicited advice. Yeah. Like at such as the local meeting. I'm sorry, that is so extra, and I love it. If you're watching this on YouTube, please comment on this.

SPEAKER_00

It's such a cute water bottle. But it's not an ad. It's not an ad. I actually don't know who it who it is. But where is it from? Little Lady Locks. I got a little um like thank you box from them. Really, really cute. That is so cute.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, oh my god, that is really sweet. Oh, it's this stuff. Do you know why not? I said I we literally said I'm gonna show up before we digress. We digress. Stop our need to digress.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, sorry, I'll put the water down.

SPEAKER_01

How many litres was it?

SPEAKER_00

Because it's a it's one litre, but you want to drink it twice a day to like have two litres a day. That's what you should be averaging.

SPEAKER_01

But again, if you're averaging 500, you do you.

SPEAKER_00

Actually, if you're averaging 500, please drink more. Oh, because that's me.

SPEAKER_01

No Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Please drink a little bit more. I'm I'm being told that. Okay. I tell them off all the time. She's like, Oh, I've only had one glass of water today, but and I'm like, okay, how many coffees have you had? Um, drink more water. I think for me, I

SPEAKER_01

It hits me at night. So during the night I have like a leader, but I don't recommend that. No.

SPEAKER_00

But anyway, anyway, digressing. Podcasts. Yes. So we've we've talked about other podcasts in the past, and we're not here to just out podcasts.

SPEAKER_01

No. We're we're we're not that kind of we are in the same world, so we're all friends here.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Some of us. I've not met these people. Yeah. But you know, uh, basic respect. However, a few weeks ago for when this podcast comes out, this episode comes out, there was a big clip or a short clip of Stephen Bartlett talking about this one glass of wine ruined three days of his life, essentially. And I think these three days that were ruined due to his own perspective of what his productivity should be like, what his success is and how he felt in general.

SPEAKER_01

I think those kind of statements and those kind of topics are what roots the pressure within social media. And I think that's why something like that really kicked off. Yeah. And like should be thought about before. Like, I'm sorry, but like, how can you because he's got a team, he's not just like two people just like with a with a camera, like there's a whole team of podcast producers. How can you be sat there editing that and thinking that's okay to post?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I think as well, it's like if genuinely you don't drink for a full year and have one glass of wind, one glass of wine the next day you're gonna feel a little bit funny. Yeah, let's proceed.

SPEAKER_01

And we're not here to condemn alcoholism.

SPEAKER_00

No, please drink responsibly. Yeah. Of age. Like, yeah, like that goes without saying. Like I can spot a fake ID. Please drink of age. Any don't bring your fake IDs near home. Don't bring them in the club. No.

SPEAKER_01

But but yeah, I but I think it's just a matter of at the end of the day, what triggered me is that at the end of the day, he's not a professional within what he's talking about when when it comes to drinking. And that's why his comment particularly triggered me. Because if you're a actual, actually a professional backing what you're saying with facts and figures and science, not just your own opinion, fair dudes. But even then, everybody's different.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And it's like that probably was his reality. But again, I've already said social media, it's quite dramatised. Yes. It's over accentuated, it's not fact, it's like drama, fact. Like it's it's dramatised, dramatic. Yeah, it's glamorified, so it's interesting, it's it's dramatised, exactly. So however much that is true is his truth.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

However, one glass of wine will not ruin three days of your life. It will, you know what though, what I want to know, what was that glass of wine for? Were you celebrating? Were you with friends? Did you have a good time? Literally. Like, did you have an experience? Like, as much as it's a glass of wine, so much can happen with a glass of wine. Like new friendships, new experiences, like there's that that you need to see over the days that it potentially ruined.

SPEAKER_01

And I think going from what we talked about with like the fitness world and like that with social media, I think the bottom line is yes, what is the bottom line? I think the bottom line is too much of a certain thing is excessive. Like you you need to find balance. 100%. Don't be in the gym every week. No. No, sorry, not every week. Every day. Every day. You might want to go to the gym every week for your mental health, if anything.

SPEAKER_00

But it's like rec in terms of that, recovery is as important as working out and training. Like, you know, it's like with runners, there's a lot of like influential runners that have had injuries, but I'm happy that they've actually posted about their injuries to share it, to say that this is what underfueling looks like, and this is what part of training looks like. Looking after yourself, recovery, time management, taking care of yourself. As much as you want these big goals, you need to also realise what needs to go on underneath the goals of actually looking back and going, right, let's check in. How are we doing? Like, is this actual actually achievable? Do we need a reality check?

SPEAKER_01

Equally, uh a night out once a month isn't gonna kill you. No, no, but like obviously, drink responsibly and drink within your means, but like typically speaking, a a glass of wine isn't gonna kill you if you want to have a glass of wine, have a blending glass of wine, do you know what I mean? Like let your hair down.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I think as well, people's opinions online can become so influential and almost not cult-like, but may as well be. Yeah. So it's like people take what you say by law, especially if you are an influencer with a big platform, people take what you say as lore and as word and as a way to live. If you go on my Instagram, I've now started showing more reality, really, yeah, of actual real comments that I've had, and some of them are very recent. Like, I've not spoken about some of the past that I've already outed on this podcast. Some are very recent, but yeah, I think if you've got a platform online and you're sharing like a lifestyle that you have, it's not law. You don't not everyone has to follow your lifestyle, everyone has different things going on in their life, everyone's got different responsibilities, priorities, jobs. Yeah, okay. Just to end fully um with this podcast, with this episode, we're gonna end it on our own realities and share actually what goes on in our lives because I think it's very hypocritical for us to say social media and reality is so different, and then not share actually what is our reality. So for me, I come across as a very confident bold woman, which I am, like I don't wear my wigs, sometimes I don't wear my eyebrows, but sometimes I have really bad down days to the point that I don't want to go outside, I will be on the couch, I burn out so easily, and because I feel like I have to put this brave face on every day to be inspirational, pair with the quote marks that it's tiring. So inspiration marky. Can we just change the record? Yeah, and so it's like so. Recently, me and my partner went to the cinema, and I said to him, like, I think I might wear my wig tonight, and we were going out for the main fact that I was just feeling really low and I'd had like a few bad days uh getting in my head, as we all do, it's very normal. And he said, Right, let's let's go to the cinema. And when I tell you, it's such I am privileged to the fact that I can wear a wig, yeah, because not that I can hide, because I preface that I'm not trying to hide who I am, not trying to hide how I look, but sometimes I just need a break from the stairs, I need a break from the questions, and I'm here rolling my eyes as if like it's an issue, and I am doing it to myself, but this is who I am, and the comments come with it, which I'm fine with, but sometimes some stairs are just like I don't need it. Yeah, and this one day I just wore my wig, we then went out for a drink afterwards, and I was just like so comfortable at the fact that I blended in, which I'm privileged to be able to do.

SPEAKER_01

And I think that's what social media I think is a bit weird, and the reality is a bit like skewed, I want to say, because you don't really think about that. No, you people probably think, oh, you show yourself without a wig on social media, that's I must be fine. Yeah, and honestly, majority of the time I am like and also not just that you're fine, but also the fact that oh that means in real life you are like without a doubt also the same, yeah. But no, but yeah, that's not how it is.

SPEAKER_00

Like us, like for example, the recent comments that I've shared, they've taken me back. Like, as much as I've been fine to talk about it, and in the moment I have just dealt with them, like it is very true how you can get a hundred positive messages, but one negative message is all you think about, yeah, you know, and then you're just constantly thinking, like, how could I have like spoken differently, or how can I have reacted differently, or approached that in a different way, or educated more? And it's like I realised that from wearing my wig on this night out, I was just treated completely differently. No one was staring at me, no one was smiling at me. Not that I wasn't smiling back, but no one was making eye contact. Like treating you in a particular way just because, but also it's like in my reality, so much goes on behind the scenes that not that I need to share, but like family-wise and personal life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think that's what's different from each other's reality. Whereas when you say like stairs and everything, I don't know whether it's because I don't have that maybe like comfort blanket almost of like a wig. Obviously, a wig, not act an actual wig, but you know what I mean. Because I never really notice stairs anymore. No, and I think it's because I've never had it any other way, yeah. So I'm like, this is just it. Like I genuinely do not step notice stairs anymore. Sometimes I notice it more than the others if I'm like stationary and I've got someone staring daggers at me, that I notice. Yeah, but if I'm just like wheeling about, I don't notice that. And I think that's what's different because I guess I don't notice it because I can't just get up and walk for people not to stare. And I think that's what's different between our realities, and there are like, like you said, there's like some comments that keep you up at night and all that jazz, and there's definitely the same for me. I'm not gonna go through the comments because you don't need to know that, but just because we come across as confident, like for example, the other day my dentist said to me, I've been going to through to her for years, and we were just talking, and she said, You're really confident, you're this, that, like you have this energy, and I'm like, if only you saw me in bed last night. Literally, and I think it's just the way you carry yourself sometimes can uh create a not like a false image, but just because we look fine, or anyone for that matter, not just us. I know we're talking about our reality in particular, but like that's for everyone. Like, just because you look fine doesn't mean you are.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's also knowing that everyone has their down days, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like everyone has the not so confident days, like we're not here saying we're special, we have our down days because there's a everyone has a down days, and there's this thing that I saw I think it could fit into here, and it was like if you had the opportunity, if there was a ball and people wrote all their problems in it and put it down, would you pick up someone would you pick up a random one or would you be happy with your own? And I think if you think about your problems, not saying my disability is a problem, I mean I don't want to say it's I wouldn't call it a problem, but it's just a thing to me. Sometimes it's a problem, don't get me wrong. Um but sometimes it's just it's just there. Um so yeah, if for example, if like you had a problem and you put it there, would you wanna take yours and be on your way, or would you wanna pick up somebody else's? And I think thinking about your problems like that puts it into perspective a lot.

SPEAKER_00

And I think putting that into more perspective, everyone has their own problems and their own trials and tribulations throughout their own life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And it's like as much as I may feel pressured to be confident when I'm out all the time and to be and to be inspiring, yeah, someone else may feel pressured just to show up in the morning, you know, and just to be at work for 9am. So like everyone has different pressures and different expectations. So it's definitely don't judge a book by its cover, which I think is definitely what social media has kind of glazed over. Yeah. Because that's all you do on social media, you judge someone for what you see online.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and it I mean, I think as we're going throughout the years, it has kind of become a trend to be more authentic. Yeah. Which I am loving, but also I feel like that's also being diluted into like being authentic but to a point where you're like putting on on the authenticity.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe that's just me, but that's how I feel like you're being authentic to what you want to share.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Rather than what's actually going on. Rather than genuine authenticity, which I think there's that's a fine line there. True. So I hope you've enjoyed this episode and make sure to come back next week when we kind of stick on this topic, but more about FOMO and fear of and it's prom season, guys. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But anyway.

SPEAKER_00

Hope you've enjoyed today's episode. Tune next, tune in next week as we keep on this topic, but more surrounding FOMO and And more. And we'll find out then. Yeah. Bye.