Sit Down With Us

FOMO Or Are You Scared To Fail?

• Faith & Zara • Episode 21

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0:00 | 38:17

"We are 27, not 75—but we are so glad we aren't growing up in today's generation." 

This week on Sit Down With Us, Faith and Zara tackle the emotional weight of missing out. 

Faith opens up about the deep childhood alopecia anxiety that kept her out of a stylist's chair for 13 years; while, Zara shares the unique challenges of navigating style trends as a wheelchair user.

With prom season in full swing, the girls look back at the intense peer pressure they felt to look perfect while managing physical differences and the blunt truth of being left off the guest list for the official after-prom party. Finally, they debate the political move to ban under-16s from social media networks, exploring how short-form content actively rewires children's attention spans. 

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#DisabilityAwareness #Alopecia #ZaraAndFaith #WheelchairLife #Inclusion #RepresentationMatters #Podcast #ZebedeeModels

SPEAKER_01

Hi guys and welcome back as we sit down on today's episode and dive into FOMO and a fear of missing out or is it just fear of being seen doing something new? We're gonna get into all of that today, including a little zone and a honing into the younger generation on how their FOMO may be changing very soon.

SPEAKER_00

And as it's prom season, we are gonna dive into prom.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And our experiences with prom and our thoughts and feelings and everything in between. And so much more.

SPEAKER_01

So stage. So I think let's talk about what FOMO means. So FOMO is the fear of missing out.

SPEAKER_00

Fear of missing out.

SPEAKER_01

And I feel like it's definitely come from social media. Oh already. Like just that phrase I feel like came from social media as a whole of like yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I think with FOMO you can look at it in different ways. You can look at it as in like, is it Jomo? Alright, just JOMO. Joy of missing out. Because I feel like FOMO started and everyone was like, oh my god, I've got FOMO with the. And then some people like twisted and I was like, actually, some of the things people say we've got FOMO from, yeah, it's actually what we get joy from missing out on purpose. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So this I think that's part of like protecting your space. Yes. Which I think is very prevalent, especially with this time at the moment. It's like it's okay to say no and to not do things.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like I feel like everyone's at different stages of I feel like especially as you get older, you don't want to be doing things you'd be doing at 18. But some people are still there. Yeah. Like I know 30-year-olds doing 18-year-old stuff. Yeah. And fair dudes. You do you. That's what they want to do. But that's not where I get FEMO.

SPEAKER_01

No, not anymore. No, not quite. But I think where I used to get FOMO where I first kind of felt it was with a hair salon for me. And I didn't think it was something that I'd miss out on because I wore wigs and that was where like my focus kind of lied. But I remember I think it was like my 11th or 12th birthday. I had like um all my friends and I, we went to a local hair salon, and I was just like, why can't I enjoy this as much as I should? Like I'm 12 years old, I should love getting my hair done, but all I was doing was like worrying that they'd cover up my bald patches and my bald spots at the time. Oh no. And not gonna lie, the last time I went to a hair salon, they gave me a dry cut, so I had like less hair. Because as much as my hair was falling out, it was really thick. Yeah. So they just like dry cut and then charged me £12. I was sat in the chair for seven minutes. I'm sorry, £12 was back in the day. I mean, not that you're old, but like You know, we're talking like we are talking like 13 years ago. Yeah, like it was a joke. That's my own. It was awesome. I went with my dad and I came out crying, dad came out fuming, probably went and got a coffee or like a hot chocolate afterwards to cheer me up. But after that, I actually didn't step foot into a hair salon until earlier this year, actually. But it was for like a wig training session. And part of this wig training session, they they have to like it was it was all part of the training and how to put a wig on properly, like a hair system, so it would stay on your hair, you didn't have to take it off.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And so you'd actually pencil the outline and trace the outline of where your hairline would be, and then they went to rub off the line, but used the wrong solvent. It was like an oil-based solvent they used rather than like a micellar water. Yeah, it was like a more oily-based, yeah. And so when they found this out, they was like, Well, you you need to have your head washed now because the wig won't stick on with that on. And I was like, that's fine. Wasn't me that put it on the head, by the way. Um, I was like having a head massage like the whole eight hours I was there, but um and then I sat in the bowl with my head, and I was like, This is I've actually never had my head washed by somebody else before. Oh my god. Like no one else has touched my head apart from my partner and me. Yeah, so it was really weird that sensation. I was like, I've missed out on this, like I guess how that the idea of like going to a hair salon and like picking out a colour if you want to dye your hair or like a style. Like I never did that.

SPEAKER_00

And it's interesting you see that because some people would see sitting in a salon as a chore. Yeah. Like just sitting there doing nothing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think it's because I've never experienced it. Yeah. I think that's why I feel like I've missed out, but I've had so many other experiences away from that anyway.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's it's similar with me and wearing one of the things that I get FOMO from is wearing heels. Yeah. Like I know so many women who are like dread heels, they're like, they put tapes all over the feet, they're like, it hurts, there's this. But I'm like, I would just love to wear a proper pair of heels. No kitten heels, none of that. Just uh bang in the middle, 10 inch are they 10 inch? I don't know. Maybe I'm going maybe I'm going to this is how you know I don't know anything about heels. I feel like six is like pretty because for me personally, I've got two issues. So when it comes to wearing heels, the platform of my wheelchair doesn't sit right, so I can't when I wear one, it just wouldn't, my foot wouldn't sit right. And another thing would be the size. So I've got freakishly small feet. Whether that's to do with my disability or whether that's just because of what it is, I don't know. So like finding nice heels for my size, for the way it fits, is just a challenge. So I would just love to because like some outfits, like you know, like a jeans and an ice top outfit. Yeah. The way to spice that up would be a pair of heels. Or a boot.

SPEAKER_01

But a heel.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I've I do boots on a night out. Yeah. But I just some I just I don't know what it is about a like a big like like a me a Mina Mawadi pair of heels, like I see them everywhere. Yeah. And I'm like, I mean, don't get me wrong, they're expensive, so even if I could wear heels, I probably wouldn't be wearing them because I couldn't afford them. But it'd be nice to know I could, and I think heels are one thing, and it's actually funny because digressing a little bit, but Doc Martins have always been trends. But growing up, I used to have special shoes, special made, so it was like at the moment I had braces with no shoes attached, but back in the day it was shoes attached to the brace. And the shoes were Doc Martin's, but like not Doc Martin's, but like Doc Martin's style. And till this day, I don't understand the height with Doc Martin's because it just reminds me of of those braces, which is quite weird because everyone's like, I see Doc Martin's left, right, and turn, and I I just I couldn't imagine myself willingly buying shoes that I once dreaded wearing. Fair, but yeah, so that's my photo. Damn. I feel like I've had other ones as well. Yeah, for sure. I feel like throughout I think throughout the years, the regardless of our difference and disability. It changes actually.

SPEAKER_01

Like the more you grow up, it changes what you feel like you've missed out on.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it's like looking back. Yeah. Because like in the moment, sometimes you're like, I'm not missing out. Life is great, life's like like I'm not missing out, but like looking back, you're like, Yeah, I would have liked that. Like with me and like parties. Okay. Growing up, because like obviously you grow up as a teenager, you go to certain parties, obviously, legally. Not like I'm not talking about like underage clubbing or anything like that. Uh but like parties, even like house parties, and I always felt being disabled, and especially a woman, but also like more importantly, being disabled, I've always felt vulnerable to put myself in a situation like that as a young person. And it really wasn't until I was like mid-twenties, early or mid-20s, where I felt comfortable being in and out. Like I didn't I never had that unique experience of fresh as week, fresh as year, what fresh as year, no, that's not a thing. Fresh as week and things like that because I just felt quite vulnerable being out as a wheelchair user.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So I think that's well, someone that did freshers, like I did it in my wig, and I remember just staying with my friends and flatmates, and half the time, like we hired like the wristband to go to like 10 events, we went to half, and we ended up just having like flat parties and like we only did the first year of freshers because then like my second and third year, one it was COVID, and also so after COVID it did just change, like really yeah, personally from that scene, clubbing wasn't the same after COVID.

SPEAKER_00

No way, personally, yeah. I did I no, we did wait, no, so I've never done clubbing before COVID. So yeah, this is how I know when my clubbing started, because it started after COVID. It yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like it's become more like groupy after COVID. Okay, but like before COVID, you would just sound awful, but you would just share drinks with your friends, like with strong and everything, like really house parties you drink from the same wine bottle, like we'd have like a full-on bowl mixer, maybe.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sorry, I'm no passenger. I'm no passenger. I was gonna say I'm no princess, but passenger came with it. I'm no princess.

SPEAKER_01

You are a passenger princess though. But you are a passenger princess though.

SPEAKER_00

In the wheelchair, oh in a car! Because I thought you meant because I'm sat in a chair and passenger. I was like, wait, I don't think you can go and talk to yourself.

SPEAKER_01

I know, no, you can carry.

SPEAKER_00

You said passenger. Anyway, moving on. I'm not a princess, but I could not imagine sharing drinks with like random people. Yeah. So just like there's a flat, yeah, it would be like King's Cup. Okay, maybe I'm I don't have FOMO then.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Maybe, maybe, maybe it was a good thing. Don't remember if that's just a uni thing though. Like some like a house party thing. Yeah, like my sister's my sister's at uni right now, and she's dealing with the same like messiness that I had to deal with. And I was like, dude, I wish I could forget.

SPEAKER_00

Like, I wish I could forget. I think at that moment, because you're so obviously drink responsibly, but sometimes you're so out of it that you just don't.

SPEAKER_01

I think it's part because when you turn 18, you're then like le legal. Yeah. Like you are, I don't mind doing quotations, you are.

SPEAKER_00

Well, you should be.

SPEAKER_01

You are, even if you're not you should be. I feel like you then just kind of go mad, and that's what that's what uni is a little bit as part of like then finding yourself. Yeah. But I feel like personally I found myself more when I graduated uni, when I came out of uni.

SPEAKER_00

See, I I have always said, I think in previous episodes, that I because of my disability, I feel like I grew quick, but in some ways I couldn't, and it's like with things like nights out and like going out for drinks and blah blah blah. I felt like that only started like in my late 20s, where like some people quit at that age. And I was like, come on, buddy, let's go. Everyone's like, I'm going to bed. And I'm like, come on, let's go. No, I'm like, and I think that also came with the fact that um I became more confident within myself. So I wasn't this like I didn't feel vulnerable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

If that makes sense. See, I was almost like, I'm ready now to dress up well because I knew how to like not hold myself, but you become like sure of yourself. Yeah, you know who you are, and like Juni helped that transition because I could be away from like my hometowns where everyone knew me, so I could just like discover who I was when no one knew me. Yeah, you know, make mistakes.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like that's what everyone loves about going uni away somewhere else. True. Also, I just appoint that I actually never went to uni, so if anyone who has a physical disability that I actually went to uni, I would love to know your uni experience. Because I've always I've I've never had regrets growing up in terms of like where I went and like not going to uni, but that's a story for a different day. But I've always wanted to know what it would have felt like for me as a disabled person, but because obviously I have my school experience and we're gonna get into that um in future episodes, more specifically in like August time, but I would love to know just like how it was for you as because kind of an adult, like you're an adult, you mean yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I wonder what it is, so let us know. I mean, to be fair, in terms of my allop show, I didn't get much support, but I was kind of sure of myself at that point and like confident enough. Yeah. But like a few times I wore my wig and everyone didn't recognise who I was, which I went to like a dance show with everyone. Obviously, I was on the dance course, so I didn't wear my wig to the classes. Uh but then if we were getting dressed up, I'd wear the wig. Did you do you think you got special treatment from like teachers and professors and tutors? I don't think so, just because the environment I was in and the fact that the classes were so small. But going into my masters, I'd it wasn't a marketing or publicity stunt, but as like and they'd celebrate diversity anyway, but there was a few times where I was just like, why have I got in? Like, but was that imposter syndrome and me just feeling low and low low self-esteem? Or was that some truth there? I don't know. But part of me did feel that, and all the people that I've spoken to from other courses that have gone into the same like MA that I did have felt similar, but I don't feel like that is the case. I think it was just like moving with the times, growing with the times personally, so yeah. But I think one thing the most that I've had FOMA on is because of my celiac disease. As a foodie? As a foodie. I get that. If you know me, I love coffee as much as I love food. Like I love food so much. Yeah. We bond over food. Yeah. I love share food. So it's like if I got my partner, we can't get the garlic bread to share. Like, or the the camembert share. It's all for me. No one can share it with me because no one wants the gluten-free bread. So it's literally all for me. I can share with you.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I love camembert.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I don't actually know what gluten-free bread I can.

SPEAKER_01

I think it tastes fine, but obviously it's all unknown now. Like I can't remember how Warburton's taste. But like, what's the camembert bread?

SPEAKER_00

Is it like uh no camembert?

SPEAKER_01

Camember bear's cheese.

SPEAKER_00

No, we know. But like what's the bread around babe? You I was gonna say you were talking to uh lactosentaurian gal, but also as a lactose, I shouldn't really be having no.

SPEAKER_01

Anyway. I think the only time I had it, it came in like did it was like the Aldi wreath around Christmas?

SPEAKER_00

The camembert wreath. Yeah. Is that the what the bread looks like? No.

SPEAKER_01

I'm talking like visually. No. What's the bread like? The bread was just like gluten-free bread cut up into lines, toasted.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, like a toast. That's the best you got. So like a toast. A gluten-free toast, but with camembert. Yeah. Yeah, you might be on your own with that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But this is where the FOMO comes in because I can't. I'll try pizza, or like when you get deals when you go out, like I can't try. See, I've had gluten-free pizza. I don't I don't I don't mind it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

I think I rate gluten-free cake over normal cake. Well, of course I would. Do you? Of course I would. Naturally, we can't eat normal cake. But no choice. But people have said that gluten-free cake is lighter and fluffier than normal cake. If you get it right, otherwise it could be really clacky.

SPEAKER_00

Do you know what else I like? Gluten-free pasta. Yeah. I much prefer, even before I knew you, I used to have gluten-free pasta. Yeah. I it's just so much like like you said, like less heavy.

SPEAKER_01

I miss just going to the shops and just picking up whatever I wanted. Like not having to read labels. And now I like look like a psychopath reading all the labels. See, speaking of having a show.

SPEAKER_00

I am a newly not allergy gal. I honestly, so I say newly because they still don't know what's actually wrong. I'm still within the midst of it. Which, if you've got any like not allergy advice, please tell me because I'm I I'm in the depth. One minute I'm fine, and next I eat something and I'm like hyper pet hyperventilating. It's it's not great. Um, but yeah, so I feel like that's gonna be like I see the future of me, and it's not like but no, it could be worse, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's my phone moment at the moment. Yeah, I I sympathise with you on that. But there is a gluten-free festival, food festival, shush, yeah, and there's a gluten-free cruise. So they're my two things that are. Where is this? One's in Manchester at Christmas, and I want to go to that. And then another one is the cruise. I don't know where that is. But it's like a full gluten. Yeah. So I think that's why whenever I see something that's gluten-free, whether I am full or not, I will be going.

SPEAKER_00

I have to try it. I also feel like it's it's come a long way. Yeah. Since like back in the day. Like I remember literally going to Tesco and the free from art free from section was like one line. Yeah. Or like two shelves if that. To be fair, in small stores it is.

SPEAKER_01

But if you go to like a big big Tesco, bigger Tesco or like a a normal normal Sainsbury's, yeah, like there's a big range. There's there's a lot going on. But Aldi, don't bother. Really? Yeah. I don't know how people find them. So I've seen like videos and TikToks of people being like, oh, all these things from Aldi. I'm like, where are you? Which Aldi is this? Send your pin. Like honestly. Can't relate. Can't relate. Aldi. I'll have a look out. Yeah. Because I've no idea. But this like it's really weird because then brands that are gluten-free will then make their egg not gluten-free. So it's like one prime example. I swear it's like it's either the Malteseer or the Kit Kat Bunny for Easter. One of them is gluten-free, but they look so similar. Like the packaging's so similar, but then the egg is not gluten-free. Oh. Yeah. Surely it'd be the same ingredients. So weird. So weird. That is weird. Really bizarre. So yeah. But my biggest form right now is gluten.

SPEAKER_00

Have you ever, question? I know this is like really digressed, but I'm really curious. Okay. Have you ever had like a pack, like something within a packet that says gluten-free, but like it wasn't?

unknown

Curious.

SPEAKER_01

Every time I get sushi, I can't have the sauce. Normally, we can't have the sushi sauce. Yeah. But I think the main time that's happened was I spoke about it previously on a different episode on the show. On the shoot of the photos the shoe on the back. Yeah, I'm not that one.

SPEAKER_00

I think uh I think it was the episode with Kai. Because that's what I always wonder when now that I'm like not allergy, not allergy get owl, I'm like, what if I check something and it says it doesn't but it does?

SPEAKER_01

To be honest, from my experience, I feel like they still take a nut allergy way more seriously than gluten. Which shouldn't be the case. No, because I know people say like you can't die from a gluten allergy. Can you not? As much as you won't die on the spot, there's so many other underlying factors that will mess you up. Like if I have to do it. Also that's not a good reason not to. No. Like it should be taken so it shouldn't be taken as seriously as any other allergy because of how dangerous it can be. Yeah. It's like if I eat gluten, for example, what three hours later I'll see it again, but then for the next two weeks I'll be so fatigued and I'll have no energy. That's that yeah. I'll break out fully and I'll literally my body will be inflamed. Like and I'll have so much water return. Well, these way of saying there's something wrong, that's not right. My body's way of saying what the hell have you just done. Yeah. Yeah. But moving on from FOMO.

SPEAKER_00

This is just shows that we are for you years.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Because how long have we just spent talking about food? Right, it's making me hungry. Can we move on? I'm stunned. So one thing about a FOMO though is that it's okay to not want to do something. Yes. And I think this brings me on to prom.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Because prom personally for me, before we talked specifically about prom and like wearing whatever you want to wear, personally for me, I was not invited to go after prom. Oh no, me neither. But all my friends were, but I didn't feel bothered. Like I thought I'd be more bothered about.

SPEAKER_00

You'd be like, home by 10? Lovely.

SPEAKER_01

Honestly, I don't know what it was, but I was like, I'm done. Like I'm done with this chapter chapter of my life. I don't need to see drunk underage people like in a big house. No. Just didn't appeal to it. I don't see.

SPEAKER_00

I think for me it was very similar in the sense of I didn't get invited and I was like, it didn't bother me back in the day. Because I think for me it was the fact of going back to not feel feeling vulnerable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't want to put myself in that situation of I think me as well, because I w I was wearing my wig at the time. I just wanted to get, I was so happy that everything stayed on. Yeah. You know, and I'd I'd had a good time, I'd danced, I'd had the food. Like quit while you're ahead type of thing. Yeah, I was just I was like, I swear to you. Which is sad, yeah. And I swear on my way back, me and my mum just went and we got a McFlurry or something. Oh yeah, because I wasn't I wasn't I would have been celiac at this point, but I didn't know. So I was like, let's get McFlurry with all the bits everything on it. Yeah. But for the after prom, it was like my best friend, she really wanted to we'd both went hadn't found one and we found out who was hosting one. And it was a guy Yeah, it was a guy that I went to primary school with, so I knew him. Obviously the high school was fairly everyone knew everyone. Yeah. So she managed to get an invite, but I didn't. And that was kind of that was solidified for me of like I kind of know where my path is going now. Like I don't Want this, like, I don't need no, I don't need the random invite for a prom. Yes, and to be fair, he was really kind about it. He l he came over to me and it was like, there's just no more room, and I was like, Bro, it's fine. Like, I'm actually not upset. No, I'm kind of like half happy, yeah, because I don't have to turn it down and like I don't have to be like or I'd having to go because you'd be tired. Yeah, and it's like it was also like I don't have to make an excuse not to go. Not that I would have made an excuse not to go, but I would have been like, Oh, okay, I need to call my mum to tell her I'm going here now, somehow get home to get changed and then venture out again. Like for me, it was like I just want to go to bed. Yeah. This chapter of my life is done.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I just think it's the same with like that and like just parties in general and like drinking. Like I feel like there was so many underway drinking in my not in my friendship group necessarily, but like in in my year in my high school that I knew about, and I'm just like, what are you doing? Like, do you know what I mean? Like that.

SPEAKER_01

I think it was the generational thing of like just back then. Yeah. Because I think now the thing's vape. What are you doing? I've I have a chewing gum. I have a what's it called? Juicy juicy fruity. What's it called? Tooty fruit, juicy fruit. No, a tooty fruity. Juicy! The juicy one. The juicy one, like the it's like yellow. Yeah, tooty fruity. No, it's not tooty fruity, that's sweet.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, what are you talking about? What's sweet? It's like a I think for me as well, and the pressure I felt during school and just by prom as well, is looking a certain way. Like I remember putting a lot of pressure on myself to wear something long, even though back in the day I would not like anything long. I'd always want like something short, not like like inappropriately short, but like above the knee. Yeah. Um, but because I knew I'd have to wear braces, because again, coming back to like if there was an emergency, I had to get out of my chair, I need to be able to walk. Um, so I had to wear something long, but then also I wanted to make it look nice. Ended up looking like someone's grand because I was in like navy blue, was not a fan of what I wore in the end, but no offense if you wear navy blue to prom, I'm sure you look great, but it just didn't suit me. But yeah, um, yeah, just anyway, and to be fair, it was a nice dress, but going back I wouldn't wear it.

SPEAKER_01

I think you always look back and just think, oh I wish I did that. What colour was yours? Periwinkle. What is that? It's like uh pale purple, basically. Oh that's brave. Yeah. Well, it was That's a brave colour. Because my mum's my mum really treated me with my dress because I couldn't I didn't want to have my makeup done because I had to do my eyebrows because I had no eyebrows. And obviously I wouldn't want my hair done because it was a wig. Yeah. So I was just gonna curl it and brush it out. Like that was so I didn't want anything done where like a lot of other girls they were getting their head their makeup done, hairs and nails done. Yeah, it's like I tried the fake nail thing at the time. I was like, gag, I can't my nails can't do it. Like it was just I felt like it was squeezing my nail, and I was like, I've put it on wrong, we don't want to do this. No, I was like, uh where's the acetone? Get this off me. So that was the my vibe, but I did feel the pressure to like look my best to like leave because you've just done your GCSEs, and then you have like a few weeks where you don't really see anyone, no, yeah, and then you have prom, so everyone feels like you need like a medium meditation and being brutally honest with you all, your glow-up will come when you're like not a teenager anymore.

SPEAKER_00

No, and it's like you don't have to look a certain way for prom. I mean it's nice, like don't get me wrong, like put it's like you look good, you feel good type of thing. That that's great, but like don't feel like you need to look a certain way to look to feel good, yeah, if that makes sense. Don't know if that makes sense, but I feel like there's been a lot of pressure put on prom to like I agree, and I think it's crazy because we were just saying before our ways of growing up was much different to how the kids are growing up these days, the kids, as if I'm like kids in 75, I'm 27. How like the big today's generation is growing up and one of that is not I mean I say we we are saying we there was pressure, but like I feel like it's much worse these days with like social media and like MUAs, and I feel like it's it's a lot, yeah. And I I'm just glad I'm I'm not there. It's not me.

SPEAKER_01

It's not me anymore. But also I think that like furthering this on to more that generation now with the social media band that's about to happen. Oh my god, can we talk about that? Whether it's happened now, because obviously we're on the street. I think it has. First week of July now, I don't know when it actually starts or when it comes out or if it was just in the process of talking or I feel like it's like a done deal. Is it done? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

But I just think there's gonna be a lot of backlash to this, yeah, obviously, by kids underage. And also maybe some like parents. But also I just think it's I don't I don't know, I have mixed feelings about this because I'm like, it's great, but also I don't know. Because I'm like, is is that where the problem ends?

SPEAKER_01

Because I I feel like when you're online on social media, the comparison, the FOMO, the like individuality and to be yourself is also sometimes harder because you compare more. Like when I was like, because I waited, I think I was on Instagram when I was like 13, but it wasn't Instagram how it was now. No, Instagram back in the day. Like you'd just not Instagram. Like you'd post your Sunday roast and you'd get three likes, you were like, Love it! Like Day made, yeah, but it was nothing like what it was now. There was no reels, it was just you posted like it was like you posted on your you posted on your main feed as if it was your story. Yeah, literally. And it was just for fun. Now I think there's so much pressure on social media to be picture perfect, and that's where FOMO feeds into that.

SPEAKER_00

Part of that as well, I know we've talked about this before, but like going back to like being it being a picture perfect, but I feel like sometimes now it's become a trend to be too real and almost fake the realness, which again is not what social media should be. And I think going back to the kids being banned, the kids, I need to stop saying the kids going back to like under 16s. Is it under 16s being banned? Under 16s, yeah. Yeah, going back to that, I just think it's it's a blessing. In disguise.

SPEAKER_01

In disguise. I think some people will already see it as a blessing and like wonderful. Other people will be like, what the heck? Because there's kids online that honestly have started their own mini businesses. Like, if you follow Simon's. Which I mean it's good for you, but like also Yeah, and it's like I know kids where their parents run the account because they're a person of influence and they're a model or a creative already, and I think that's beautiful, but again, their parents run the account, and I think there's a reason why there is a ban, and it's already started was already a thing in Australia, but it's because there's so much so much damaging content online that can't be filtered that are so influential in a negative way.

SPEAKER_00

Like even like short form content, yeah. Short form content constantly for your brain. Again, I'm not a medical professional, but I can just tell you from my own experience, short-term content for your brain constantly cannot be good. No, it's not. It it it has been proven to actually worsen your attention span.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so imagine that as someone who's like going through education, having to like focus on different things and and all adjazz, and it's just like I'm I'm sure teachers now they've multiple people have been interviewed and they've all said that they've had to change the way they teach because of their attention span, yeah. They've had to use more interactive things or make the lessons more vibrant, which I guess is uh amazing. Yeah, because they can adapt. Because everyone learns differently anyway. I think people learn in so many different ways, so it's great that they're trying new things, yeah. But yeah, I think the social like I I remember I used to compare like Christmas because that was like one big thing that I would not dread, but just be like, oh my god, everyone's gonna ask what we got for Christmas, and it was like for me, I was happy with like a mirror, like I was never someone that was materialistic and would rub it in someone's face. No, but I think it subconsciously, yeah. But then you then see someone the same age as you in the same like school being like Prada, Pandora, Gucci bag, new phone, and I'm like, hello. What's happening? Where were your parents? So I think it's just like that already happened like 10 years ago for me.

SPEAKER_00

I think for me it's holidays, and like don't get me wrong, we used to go on holidays all the time and all that jazz, but not nothing extravagant, nothing like on the other side of the world every other day. Do you know what I mean? But like, so like and I feel like if you see influence, especially going on holidays, brand trips, and all that jazz, and that's like a 15-year-old, 14-year-old, you're like, oh my god, like that is the norm. Whereas that is literally not the norm. No, in the slightest. And I'm so excited, so excited, and I'm so happy that that's not what I saw growing up, because that would have been a very skewed version of reality.

SPEAKER_01

There is a trend that I loved a few months ago, I think, I swear it was this year. It was that I've got six I've got six jobs, I don't get tired. Okay. And basically showing that like someone that you see as an influencer, as a content creator, is also a makeup artist, a teacher, a childminder. Like they've as much as they show that they're a content creator and they're an influencer, they actually have like this whole of a life that you don't know about. Exactly. And it just puts into perspective that on social media you only see what you what people want you to see.

SPEAKER_00

Another trend that's like on par with this a little bit is the trend of things you wouldn't be jealous of me about.

SPEAKER_01

I've not seen that one.

SPEAKER_00

So it's like basically you someone being like, these are the things that wouldn't make you be jealous of me. And they'll just like go ahead and tell you like those different things, for example, like I don't know, maybe like a no allergy or like whatever. Like, do you know what I mean? It's like lighthearted stuff, it's not idea. But like it also makes you think, like, you've like been following this person for a long for ages, but like they've also got these things, obviously, not like not allergies, not that deep, but like there's like other things that like people say, like things you wouldn't be jealous of them about, which I think is quite interesting and like more like personal, personal, and like it's just that tinted sunglasses aren't coming off type thing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's like if I I think as well because your brain is only fully developed when you're 25. Apparently, apparently mine's still at the time. Mine's about to be fully developed, mine's developed. You're 25. Exactly. But yeah, I think just to wrap up that, I think obviously your brain's only fully developed, I think, when you're 25. Yeah. Um but kids imitate.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And so I think that's why social media can be damaging if they're gonna see the wrong things and then imitate the wrong things. Oh 100%. Or like what's then bad.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And then they're imitating rather than understanding who they are, and I think that's why I'm grateful for my childhood because I learned my interests and how well.

SPEAKER_00

You became who you are, and then it and then like social media came back. So I think like the social media world has really took over. And don't get me wrong, there are some positives to social media, but I just think being mindful of it too much of it at a young age, especially, is just a bit too much.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But I think as much as social media can be negative, it can also be a good thing. Yeah. And I think when I when when we say FOMO, is it really a fear of missing out? Like, do you feel like you've missed out? Or do you feel like you're just saying that because you're actually just scared to do something? True. And like that stepping out your comfort zone. And because there's then this whole hysteria of like you're being scared to be seen to fail, is that why you're not doing it? And is that why you're missing out?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, you are really.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, I did my book. Wow, she was awful one. I know. But do you know what I mean? By that, like, because there's especially with modelling or like like my alopecia, for example, speaking out about that. I feel like people who have alopecia sometimes fear that they've missed out on embracing them. So, like, I wish I did it so much sooner. Oh, me too. But I had to really figure myself out to get there. Yeah. And I just think that don't use don't use the fact that you have a difference or a disability stop you from doing something that you really want to do. Yeah, like don't hide it away. No, that's if you feel like you've you've missed out on going to a hair salon, go. Yeah. Like I I could go to a hair if I wanted to, I could go to a hair hair salon and I could just say, I just want to wash, yeah. Yeah. You know, like there's ways around things and ways to do things so that you don't miss out and you get to have that fulfilled that you want.

SPEAKER_00

And I think for me, one of the things that pushes me not to miss out is people thinking, people having the perception of me that I can't do something. Like, I d I don't I don't know if you guys seen that trend where it's like there's sound that goes through my head when someone underestimates me. That is literally me constantly. Well, not constantly, but like when I'm in a situation where someone's like, Oh yeah, but like you will do this this way because you can't do it that way, and I'm like, watch me. Watch me do it the exact way you told me I couldn't do it. And don't get me wrong, that's not with everything. Like I am a l I am like personified a lazy person. And if there's like a easy way of doing something, I will do it. But if you tell me I can't do something because of my disability, or in it like or in initiating that, or like what's the word? Or like implying that, then I'm gonna like listen, babe, watch and watch me do it. And then I think that's that's one of my favourite traits about myself, yeah. Because I'm like, that's a good trait to have, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Like you go for it, mate. Also, if you get embarrassed, yeah, you're probably not gonna see certain people again. Literally never, and it'll be a life lesson, yeah. And even if you see them, maybe you inspire them to be themselves more. Yeah, and I think there is a video, it's Ed Sheeran talking, and Ed Sheeran Not Show Mendes, which we got mixed up a few a few weeks ago. No, Ed Sheeran, basically says that the fear of failure isn't a thing anymore. Like people are too scared to fail when failure is where you actually learn and then succeed. Yes, so it's like don't be afraid to fail. Like the amount of times I've failed, yeah, but just everyone and learn from it, and you honestly learn so much from it. That's another thing you don't see on social media. Yeah. People's failures. Yeah. And I think it's because people are so quick to judge you from your failures because people want you to fail. Let's be serious. It's so hard to be happy for someone's successes than it is to be like supportive when they fail. Yeah. Like everyone is the same, but also it's not hard to support someone being successful. On that note, support someone's journey.

SPEAKER_00

Follow, like and subscribe. Support us. Yeah. Start here today. I think that's all we've got time for today.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think that's today's app. It's been good. Oh my gosh, it's been great. Loved it. So welcome to July. I hope you've enjoyed the first ep of July. Also, leave us a comment, let us know if you've been here since the very first episode. Yeah, we'd love to know that.

SPEAKER_00

Or which episode you joined us on.

SPEAKER_01

Because we're we're coming up to our six months anniversary. Anniversary. And we'll be doing another QA. Let us know what you want to see in the next six months. Because we're still gonna be here, obviously. We've already got ideas. We do. We've got Alapia Awareness Month coming up. We've got I'm loving the second half of the year. It's gonna be good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Second half of the year.

SPEAKER_01

Ready for it.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Bye guys!