Stronger Families Podcast
The Stronger Families Podcast
A weekly podcast delivering bite-sized, practical, and relatable conversations focused on building stronger families—rooted in God, strengthened in relationships, and equipped to answer the call of God on your life.
Through real stories, biblical wisdom, and applicable next steps, we believe this truth: Strong families produce strong cultures.
When God strengthens you, He strengthens your marriage, your parenting, and your home. Let’s build strong families together.
Stronger Families Podcast
Championing Your Kids & Your Family Values! Thomas & Jenny Cabantac | Justin & Emily Free
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Welcome to the Stronger Families Podcast!
How do you champion your kids' unique gifts, dreams, and talents without compromising your family’s core values? In this episode, hosts Justin and Emily Free sit down with Thomas and Jenny Cabantac to discuss the art of intentional parenting across every stage of childhood.
Together, they dive into why learning each child’s distinct personality is essential for effective discipline, coaching, and growth. Thomas shares how understanding their daughter's dyslexia changed his perspective on parenting her, while Jenny breaks down why explaining the "why" behind family rules helps instill biblical truth long before kids face real-world peer pressure. From keeping sports and academics in healthy perspective to equipping kids for tough conversations ahead of time, this episode offers practical wisdom for raising grounded, confident children.
It's not about being perfect parents—it's about staying consistent, being intentional, and giving your kids your absolute best.
Weekly Challenge: Take time to observe each of your kids individually this week. Ask yourself, "Am I parenting them for who God made them to be, or trying to fit them into a box?"
Whether you're in the middle of toddler discipline or navigating the teenage years, this podcast is for families who want to build with wisdom, vision, and God-centered values.
Let's build stronger families together.
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And ultimately they have free will and we don't make the decisions for our kids. That's good. But I'm gonna give them all the prep I can to try to get, like I said, into their heart before those moments happen. That's weird. And they're thinking through, okay, what do what do I wanna do? And let me have a plan. Yeah. Let me have a plan for how I'm gonna handle that. And just walking them through that, I think, is so helpful.
SPEAKER_05Welcome to the Stronger Families Podcast, where we believe that strong families produce strong cultures. I'm Emily Free, one of your hosts, and today you're gonna hear from real people with real stories and God-centered wisdom to help strengthen your family. Whatever season you're in, we believe that this is gonna encourage you. So let's build stronger families together.
SPEAKER_02Alright, welcome back to the Stronger Families Podcast. My name is Justin Free.
SPEAKER_05This is my amazing Emily. Okay, sing it. It's me. And we have the amazing Coppin Talks here. Hello. Thanks for having us.
SPEAKER_02Welcome back to the podcast.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for having us.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Hey, today, uh, man, we get to talk about something that I think has been kind of a uh a common thread, not only in your in your family, in your home, but as someone who's looking on at your kids, at your at your family, this is something that shines bright. I don't know if it's brightest, but it does shine bright. And it's how do you champion your kids and all that they have going on, their dreams, the things that they are gifted in, talented in, the things that they care about while not losing your family values, while holding firm to the things that you know are important. And so I'm really excited to dive into that with you today. So uh I'm do you want to kick us off?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, so the first question when you look at all three of your girls, how unique they are, the different dreams that they have, um, how have you learned to parent and champion them uniquely to each one of them?
SPEAKER_04So I think it starts or it started for us like early on, right? You can see your kids' personalities. You guys probably already see with yours, you can, they're just so different. I remember being pregnant with Quinn, that's our third, and thinking, okay, well, she's gonna be like one of them. Right. Like she has to be, there's no other alternative. And then she's born, and it's like, okay, it's like a little triangle. I guess if you had four with y'all, then it's gonna be a square. Like, yes, they're just all their own person. The Lord literally gives them who they're gonna be. So, but you've got to like see those things in on the strengths of each person. So, in like early on, disciplining them even. What works for one is not the same that's gonna work for another, you know. We always joked, like to spank Madden, like broke her into two million pieces, and there were times it was appropriate, and it's what you needed to do, right? London, a little more of the personality of like, okay, if I do this, I'm gonna get a spank him. Worth it. Spank me. Yeah, I'm brilliant. Yeah, okay, it'll be over in a few minutes. And it's or even like Madden, you send her to her room, she's gonna lay on her bed and read. London, you send her to her room, that's the worst punishment you can give her. She wants to be with the people. She, it is like you have hurt her so bad. Okay, I will do anything. Yes, let me out of here. They're just different, and you just learn that in them, and so um and that applies to the way you're gonna coach them with their friends or coach them in their schoolwork, or coach them in any of the things that come up that yeah, you're gonna have to see what works, and sometimes it's trial and error. Like you don't know that right away, but you're gonna learn, okay, this doesn't work for them. With disciplining, we always like whatever a consequence, it was not just like this is what it's gonna be no matter what. It's like okay, it needs to matter to that kid. And if this doesn't hurt, it's not really a consequence for them. If it's not something that's gonna make them think twice about it, you know, so it just can look different based on the kids, I think. Yeah, that's good. And just learning them. So that's the answer to that, in our opinion.
SPEAKER_00I think yeah, learning them, yeah, right. Learning what makes them uh what the punishment is versus giving them props, right? And and helping their confidence. Um, one quick thing with Quinn, Quinn has dyslexia. And we've known that for a long, long time. But for the longest time before that, I did I didn't really know I like I I'd be honest with you, I thought she was just the the least smartest of all our kids. And I'm like, what is it? You don't know your colors, you don't know this. So when Jenny was able to figure out how to get her diagnosed, it really helped me understand how to teach a parent a Quinn. Yeah. Fast forward to now, and the way that I see Quinn adjust in life with her school and how she talks with me and Jenny and how she organizes things at the house.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, okay, I know how to do it now because that's uh Quinn in a dyslexic world, right? I'm like, okay, this is this is it. But if we didn't have that, right, I think I would be very frustrated at her and and who she is because it it wouldn't have come out so that even just the outside help has helped us learn how to make our kids more uh kind of conquer the day. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's really good. I love that you mentioned learning your kids because that takes what we talked about before, intentionality. That's right. You have to slow down, you have to watch them, talk to them, communicate to them. That's right. Um and yeah, that's just a good idea.
SPEAKER_02And so we have we do have four, but three of them two of them can't even talk. So you're still figuring that out. Still learning them. Yeah. Uh but even the oldest I feel like is now at a point at four, almost five, where you start to see a lot of the hey, we're gonna sit down, we're gonna have a combo. Or we're this is gonna be a discipline moment, no questions asked. This is gonna be a, hey, let's talk about what just happened, instead of just like he has no emotional awareness to ha to be able to process. And so we're just now getting into that stage where it's it's more than just like spank or time alone for two minutes, or you know what I mean? So it's right, it's great to hear you guys talk about that.
SPEAKER_04And you can do so much more of that. You're already getting there because you can talk to a four-year-old. He does know, he can talk about you know, right and wrong and what caused the situation, and you're that's only gonna become more and it was always really important to me. I mean, really important that my kids understand the why behind any rule of our home, or like when we said yes to certain things, or when we said no to certain things, which we said no to so many things that everyone else around us said yes to. And like it there was always a reason, and I wanted them to understand doesn't mean they're always like leaned in, like, tell me, mom, or what does the Bible say about that? Right. There is a reason we didn't make arbitrary decisions because it's what felt how we felt at the time, or we wanted to make their life harder. It's like, no, there's a why that this matters, and here's how I think it affects you or your heart or our family, or whatever it was, like you know, and not every conversation's an hour-long theological conversation, but like dripping those things onto our kids every chance we get, I really think affects their heart decisions later on. Because like, right, our goal is what that they're eventually making those decisions along with like the Holy Spirit in their life on their own, because we're not there for all those decisions, especially where our kids are. But like that's they've understood that process of how you figure out, you know, when you join your personality with this or this, I can do this or this.
SPEAKER_05I love that you say that because the easy thing to do is no. That's right. Well, why? Well, because I'm the mom, and I said no. Like that's way easier than a hundred percent. Well, because buddy, this is what our family believes, and this is what we say, more in the bite, like that is way harder than just well, because sometimes at Target the answer needs to be no, and they better listen to you, and that better be the expectation.
SPEAKER_04We're not sitting down cross-legged at Target and having a conversation. And I want that obedience quickly in that moment to circle it back if it's something that needs circle back for them to understand that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's really good.
SPEAKER_02Hitting on the obedience, how have you seen the younger year discipline fight for obedience play out in 1518 and 19 or whatever whatever your kids are now?
SPEAKER_04I think in so many ways that consistency early on is like really the only thing that's gonna lead to where, you know, they get to the where they are today. We're seeing the fruits of that a little bit. Like that's one thing that we I feel like did pretty well. I'm not saying we were perfect at it, but we were really together, like we're gonna be consistent. Yeah, we were really big on expectations that our kids would know what to expect. You know, you see families where you can just see when there's like the floundering of like I the kids don't know the expectations laid out for them. So it's like in one, you know, when the mom doesn't feel like addressing it, it's fine, and then all of a sudden it annoys the mom, and then they're hollering about it, and it's like that that kid is like a wash with no anger, they don't know, like knowing what to expect. If you do this, there's this consequence, or here's what we expect from you, and just that consistency, I think they're looking for that. And we all have heard that the kids are looking for boundaries, but they really are. They want to know I can go to here, and that when we say this is gonna happen, this is what happens, like it's how they're learning the world and the boundaries of where I can go and where I can't go and what's safe and what I can't. And so just trying to be really consistent. We always, you know, we've led tons of parenting life groups and all kinds of things over the years, and we were just have always cautioned younger families like if you say it, you have to follow through. Yeah, they will pick you up in a moment's notice of weakness if they learn, oh, okay, you say it, but you're not really gonna mean it. So if you're at a restaurant with your two-year-old and you're like, if you do that again, we're leaving, you better be prepared to pick that kid up and we're gonna wait in the car while the rest of you finish your meal. And man, you might later be like, Well, we're never saying that again because that really sucked. And we should have said we'll deal with that later. Whatever the case, like you just have to be consistent with what you say so that they know what you say you mean, and it matters, and you're gonna follow through, and there is I can count on you. There's a lot of things shifting in this world, but what my parents say, they mean. And they're gonna count on you. I don't know what you want to add to all that.
SPEAKER_00Um, I I also believe that that uh um friends, right? So kids' friends they bring home there's multiple examples here, but uh just uh watching friends react and what they do, and then our kids talk about it, and we'll have you know when they're younger teaching moments. Um a very specific one when London was little, little um we were at Chili's and there was a couple tables over. This kid was throwing a huge tantrum, huge, huge parents were trying to talk him down, and I remember just looking at London real quick. She looked at me and I said, What do you think about that? And she was like, uh that kid's in trouble. I'm like, that's right. Like that, nope, no, we're not gonna do that. But um ultimately uh using the friends as examples and trying to teach them that what we really should do. Why are they doing that? And then going further, like, hey, like that kid's not making good decisions, whether you know, alcohol, drugs, or whatever, like what do you think about it? Of course, talking about it, but making sure that they they can see one, that's not good. Two, do your parents do that? No, you know, we don't do that. So trying to be that example. Yeah, that's really good.
SPEAKER_02And it goes back to explaining to them. This is why. This is why.
SPEAKER_04Well, and this would be a whole nother podcast. But whether it's about all the things they're gonna get approached in their teen as they're leading to teenage years, sex and dating and alcohol and drugs and parties and friends and all the influence. We were really firm believers on like we talked about all that stuff way before it was ever a thing for them. Right. Right? Like we're gonna talk about sex with our kids way before that's something they even really know what it is. Like you're gonna hear about this from us first. Yeah. You're gonna know what the Bible says about it first. Way before your friends are mentioning it, you're hearing these words thrown around. We're gonna talk about what you're gonna do. Not okay, that my kids are just never gonna be at a party with alcohol. Like they're just never gonna be there. No, we're gonna talk about when you are, and like how are you gonna make that choice and what is that gonna look like if you're doing something different than everyone else? Like, yeah, we had so many conversations because I just to say that's never gonna happen and like, oh, they're just their friends are never gonna do that, and they're no, that would be so silly of us, you know, and ultimately they have free will and we don't make the decisions for our kids. That's good, but I'm gonna give them all the prep I can to try to get, like I said, into their heart before those moments happen. That's right, and they're thinking through, okay, what do what do I want to do? And let me have a plan. Yeah, let me have a plan for how I'm gonna handle that, and just walking them through that, I think, is so helpful. Yeah, I feel like it has to be a good thing. That's so good.
SPEAKER_02But I feel like a lot of people I know for me, you may not feel this way. For me, I feel like what would keep me from talking about the list you just laid out drugs, sex, partying, uh the whole list is the fear of what if. Well, on the back side of that, if you don't talk about it and their friends and your kids find out and they're engaging in it, that's right, now you're living in what you feared most.
SPEAKER_04Well, and if you mean what if, as in like, what if they didn't know it exists, I'm like, yes, at four, but I'm telling you, yeah, there is no chance. No chance. There is no chance they're not gonna know. I mean, I remember Madden being way too young, way too young. And I picked her, it was her and a friend in the backseat of my car, way too young, maybe eighth grade, in the car talking about how this girl and this boy had had sex behind the football field, and everybody at school knew. And I've always told parents too, like, you gotta be unshockable, okay? Like, yeah, unshockable. You're gonna hear all the things. And if you're the one that's like, if you freak out about every little thing, like they're not gonna come talk to me. And I don't mean unshockable, like, oh, that's cool. No, no, no, no. Like, we're gonna talk about it, but I'm not gonna be like, I cannot believe this, and I'm just overwhelmed and I don't know what to say. And it's like I want to be able to have those conversations and be able to, and we in that moment we were talking about how you know that girl can do different things with her life. She could repent tomorrow, like her reputation though, that's never gonna go away. You know, like it's those moments of any examples, way before it's a thing for my kids that like I'm hoping I'm gonna plant a seed of like, you know, you there will always be restoration. There's nothing you can ever do that would make us love you any less. Right. But that doesn't take away consequences of any of our choices. And there are just real things that happen when we make one choice, and it can be this or this or this, and like, man, how sad for that girl. Everyone in the school's talking about this, and man, you're gonna remember that when you hear her name forever. You know, like just those moments, but to say that I don't want to bring it up because man, I don't want to introduce this to them. No, you want to be the one to introduce it to them through your lens, through the biblical lens, because it's coming at them either way.
SPEAKER_02What would you say to parents who feel ill-equipped or uncertain of how to navigate?
SPEAKER_04I would say seek people who can give you like, you know, advice. I mean, there's lots of other places, like join a parenting life group with a parent who's walked through this before. You know, we had lots of good advice. I read books, you know, again, I'm raising girls. I was like seeking all the information I could. We did Passport to Purity with all my girls, you know, as they were like entering middle school, introducing those, you know, that's like a resource that's there. I didn't have to just come up with it all off the top of my head. Right. Something you can utilize. I um one of the best things I feel like a visual that I had given my girls, and it's because I stole it from someone else, and it was like you did it every time on our weekends when we did Passport to Purity, is I just had them, I was like, what are all the dreams you have for your life? Like just I mean anything. Like I want to be a mom, I want to do this, like all these things. And then we drew like a timeline, like a straight line. It was like, okay, here's when you're born. Okay, let's say you this is your whole life, you know, and it's like most of the things they listed were gonna be, you know, once you like, I want to do this job, I want to have kids, I want to do this, was over here. And I was like, on this timeline of your life, like your teenage years is this much of your life, like it is a blip. But the decisions that you make in this tiny section of life can alter all of those things you listed, it can change the whole trajectory. Because when our kids are teenagers, it feels like that's all that matters. Yeah, yeah. Whether I fit in with this group, whether this person thinks I'm cool, yeah. It feels like it is all that literally matters, and just giving them that perspective. Again, this was like middle school. Like, I'm not saying we didn't re-introduce these things through all the years and different conversations, but just getting that into their head of like, listen, it feels like it's all that matters, but there's so much more on the other side of it, and every decision you make affects everything that you get to do with that. I love that. But I mean, that's stuff we got from other people is the point. So, like, you don't have to navigate all this on your own, you don't have to figure it out for yourself. Yeah. So that's it.
SPEAKER_00But you with that question, like basically what you're asking is how do you be intentional about finding information or the how-to on approach this these subjects? Because the the idea of just like ah, it's never gonna happen, or when it comes up, I'll just be able to stiff arm it. You're already behind the game. Like you're you're late. Yeah, you're late, especially um in this day and age with all the social media, yeah, and uh again, your kids are the little kids growing up in the big, the big sister, big brother world, like you're literally behind, but the just being intentional trying to find those things and and then the flip side of it, you're intentional about actually doing it, right? Jenny doing the passport to purity. I'm like, I don't know anything about that. Thank God she's a good mommy and does that with the kiddos that's at his house.
SPEAKER_04You'd have done it if it was boys. 100%. There we go.
SPEAKER_05You'll take the dogs, the boys.
SPEAKER_00I have the dogs. Where the boys at? Yeah, the boys.
SPEAKER_05I'm not in charge of the boys.
SPEAKER_04That's him. That's the boys.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, okay. Um I feel like we need to like splice that all that we just talked about, and make that like a separate podcast. Because that was like a little a little venture. Okay, um, all right. What have you done to keep sports, academics, or success in proper perspective for your kids?
SPEAKER_00I feel like I feel like in a real really good nutshell, it's all about their personal effort. Like them, you know, whether you succeed or whether you don't, like you win or you lose. Volleyball's a very easy example. Did you win a game, do you lose a game? Did you get the position? Did you make the team? Um or even in their academics, did you how hard are you trying? Are you just not trying at all? And you're acing the class, or are you maybe you need a harder class, right? Um an AP class to actually challenge you. Um But we we try our hardest not to like, Olays, yay, no, no, like we are we're really uh we can watch them at the dinner table doing their homework, not doing their homework. We can watch them on the volleyball court, how much are they putting in the effort or softball, whatever, basketball, whatever they're playing? Um, and then even being a sister to their other sisters, how much effort are you doing to try to be a loving sister? Or even putting in the being a consumer versus a producer at our house, how much effort are you doing to do the dishes or put out the trash or help with the boys, right? Help with the dogs, or you just running upstairs and consuming all of our our uh groceries and sleeping on our bed. All the free amenities. All the free, right, right, right, but um personal effort that's really good. That's great.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, specifically having like we said, Quinn has dyslexia, and she's doing so good. She's a straight A, she's awesome. But we put a lot, she that girl has worked so hard, so much energy. But like just that one example of academics, like her personal best might look different than Madden's or whatever it might be. And she's always done great in school, even with that, but just taking each of your kids as they are and saying, I want your best, and I need that to be your best. So if that's an A for this kid, it might be a B for this kid or whatever in academics, but like just assessing each one and like, are you putting forth your best effort? Because that's all I that's all I'm asking for out of you. You know, we're not gonna have the same measuring stick for each of each, whether it's in academics or whatever, you know, in sports whatever.
SPEAKER_05Because it cultivates a uh instead of a comparison to a friend or their own sister, they're comparing against themselves. That's right. And they're wanting to just grow in and of themselves rather than comparing to the other person.
SPEAKER_04And they are gonna compare, that's the thing, right? And they are, but as far as knowing what my parents are going to be, I am not gonna be upset at you, no matter the outcome, if you have put your best effort in. And that's all I'm asking. We will be able to do that. Because honestly, again, the world comes at them, they're comparing themselves to constantly especially girls. I mean, everything from how they look to how they dress and the clothes I have and all that, and like there's so much of that, and all I can do is what I can do to combat that, and I'm trying, but like as far as we are concerned, yeah, they're you know, you're doing their best. But one funny story of just how our parenting, like the girls have always been very athletic, sweet, sweet girls, strong and athletic girls, like they were little, and it was like the toad suck race, you know, when they're like five, they can do and like it's one of the first ones they did, and they've just always raced. They end up they did triathlons for years, they've done so many cool things, but it was like one of the first times. And I remember going to Madden, and I'm like, just do you just run, just do your best and just have fun. And then Thomas was like, There's a trophy, and if you get first, you can win the trophy, and here's how you're gonna get it. I mean, it's just like you know, it's like we both we come at things differently too. And of course, if they had gotten last place, he has I've never heard him come down on them for one thing in their life because in that regard, like he would he is absolutely not that dab, but like he's gonna give them all the technical skills that are gonna help them be there. But it's just funny. Right.
SPEAKER_00If I looked at you look at Madden, I'm like, oh no, she she really could win this thing. Yeah. Like, all right, we're gonna give you some pointers here. Let's down the inside lane, ride out Run hard first so you're in the front, you know, get bunched up, and then right after you pass the turn, you hit the you hit the jets, right? You just go. And it worked every time, which is great, right? But if I if I had gotten the idea that they weren't going to do that, of course I would I'd probably more on do your best, honey. Oh no, you you can actually win this. So it's one of the things, girl. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I just remember being like, you know, it takes both of us. That's why you're in the failing. That's right. That's why you have to parents, the Lord brings a mom and a dad together. Yes, that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, y'all mentioned a little bit earlier uh you've said no to a lot of good things, explaining the reasons why. Uh can you share a time you said no to a good thing or a good opportunity because it threatens something more important to your family?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this one recent. Oh, it's really um so London, she just finished her um high school volleyball that won state, and she was selected for the all-star team for the state, kind of a big deal. Um but we had Jenny and I had planned a family trip to Scottsdale, Grand Canyon. Family trip, right? Well, we didn't know there was gonna be this volleyball. We had no clue. So then we're getting ready for our trip, and we're about a month out, maybe three weeks out, and then we get the notification that London has made the team. Well, uh at this point we knew London wasn't gonna play in college anymore, so but we thought um, well, this could be our last uh trip to see London play some volleyball. But once we figured out it was on the same day, we're like, oh man. So we had a choice, right? Do we cancel our whole family trip to watch London play a game in which we've watched her play eight years of volleyball, or do we respect everybody and everything that we've done for our family and stick with the family idea? And so we chose, we said, sorry, London, like it's a great accolade, that's awesome, right? Kudos, you're right, you're written down team, people will see you on the roster. You just don't we, Jenny and I don't get to see you play again. We're gonna go on a trip. And of course, um we feel like we prioritize family and we feel like the kids understood this is what we're doing. This is it's not like we're we have a whip to them, but we're trying to pro you know provide the why and stick with our consistency.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um and there are times when I think, man, I really wish that we would have watched her one more time. But you know what? We've watched a lot of volleyball with her. Yeah, and we'll see her in intermirals one day playing volleyball too. Um but that one that was a lot of things.
SPEAKER_04But there's gonna be a million of those things.
SPEAKER_02You know, talk to me through she ended up playing.
SPEAKER_04No, no, no. We went on our family trip. No, she did not play. Yeah. We went on our family trip.
SPEAKER_00Wow. How was her response? Um I I honestly I feel like it was positive. I mean, she she understood like uh everybody everybody knew she was good, right? And so for her to make the team wasn't this complete shocker. Um so she understood the the family thing, and the whole time we were on her trip, she's she's engaged with the trip, she's not talking about voting. She could have done both, but she was yeah, she was good. She was good. I I I truly feel like there was no bad attitude at all towards why are we at the grave unit.
SPEAKER_05Well, and I feel like you guys that that decision was not just one decision that you guys have made. Yeah, it was based on several years of your family growing up in a culture where f where family is the priority. I mean it's not a good idea. And so, yeah.
SPEAKER_04There were three kids and we made that decision early on. Like one activity can be two nights a week of a practice. Like we cannot do more than that. You know, and there's families where their kids do 10 different things, and it's just how it was for us. We've got church is a priority, our family's a priority, family time. Each of you guys, we're gonna pick one activity, and that still was a lot with two kids, but that was like you know, a foundation to even something like this. Like, hey, here's here's you know, it she wasn't things like that.
SPEAKER_05She wasn't surprised whenever that was the decision. She's like, Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. No, we didn't get any pushback.
SPEAKER_00We even like tried to think, okay, can we push the trip back? Right, up and then we're like, no, this is just impossible. So in not canceling it, we we went. But again, I I agree, like all the steps built up to that one, this last episode to where she took it like a champ.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. That's so good.
SPEAKER_02Good job to y'all. I know that that's not it's not easy on either end. Yeah. The receiving end for London or the delivery end for you guys. Right. You're right, man.
SPEAKER_00I'd watch my kids play chess or checkers. I don't care. I love watching my kids do whatever, right? Um, but missing that one, uh again, it for me it was just like, oh man, I'd love to watch her play one more time. But again, it's um we all sacrificed on that one.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah. That's good. Um, I love this question. How did you keep or do you keep faith from becoming just one more activity um and instead making it a part of the culture of your home?
SPEAKER_04That's a really good question. And you know, you look back and you think, gosh, I don't know. I don't even know that I did anything. I didn't do enough. You know, like I'm so I'm gonna start with like my biggest heart's prayer was always with the Lord. Will you please see my intentions? Like I know how many ways I'm gonna fail and all the ways I'm gonna mess up, Lord. I'm praying that you see our intent with our kids and that you fill in the gap. Because there's just gonna be so many ways we mess up, and times we made one decision and we're like, oh my gosh, we should have done something else, you know. But in general, like I just we wanted the faith in our kids to be real, you know. Like I remember when they were younger thinking, Lord, like I just want when they get older for it to be real to them. Yeah, I know I can't manufacture that, it has to just be something that's in them, and like, Lord, I'm praying for that, and please show us what we need to do for that, you know, that we're building that, and now we have these two kids that are, you know, practically adults and out, and like they're not done growing and things can happen, but like as it is right now, I'm just like, Lord, thank you for that answer prayer. Like their faith is real to them and it is personal. And like I sit at church and we're in a row, and I you know, each of my girls have their journal open and their Bibles filled with writings, and I'm just like, like, Lord, thank you so much, you know, because I know how much that's gonna impact their life today and like in a million all the years of their life that they have that foundation. Um, but just I don't know, I mean, devotions around the dinner table as often as you can, praying with your kids before bedtime, talking through things through the lens of the Bible, like I said, all of the things that come at them, like and again, not like we're not wordy preachy people. Yeah we are very down to earth in with our kids, but just you know, here's what this says, and here's the way I interpret this, and here's what I think the Bible means with this, and here's how it can apply to our life here. Yeah, and just again, it's like almost like a constant drip onto them, I think is the way that has to happen rather than these big moments of like let's sit down and have this big discussion. So I don't know if that answers that, but there was uh a moment, uh it's probably three weeks ago now.
SPEAKER_00Um so at the end of service, at the end of church, uh Pastor Amir or Pastor Hunter will um call people up, right? And so there was um there was one time Madden uh came up to the front with us because we'll we'll sit on the side and we'll pray with with those who need prayer. But I was like, oh Madden's right here, oh cool. And then I which I didn't expect, and then um a lady came up and she told us what she needed prayer for, and Madden's like, okay, I'll pray. And I expected I was expecting just to take it over, and she stepped on, yeah, sure, go ahead. The most, I don't know, eloquent, but it was the most prayer, God-driven prayer for this lady. And when she was praying, like I was tearing her, and then she was done, Madden was done, and I'm like, okay, right, and I gave her a hug. Like, weird time to give my daughter a hug during church, but I'm like, Bravo! Like, where did you learn that from? And of course, you know, she with elevation and and um kid life, all that growing up in church, but I feel like you start with the the faith-driven stuff in the very beginning, yeah, the devotions, and just keeping that culture at home. And of course, it's not only me and Jenny, nor is it not only the church, yeah, or only elevation, but that kid, Madden, I mean, we're just like, golly, you have come this far to be leading prayers at church, which again I I never saw that coming, but now I now that I see her potential even more, I'm like, oh man, y'all better get out of the way. She may be breaking, she may be preaching up there one time. Let her go, let her go sweet girl. That's incredible.
SPEAKER_02Just to see the like it the intentional consistency. Yeah. Even in the spiritual sense. It feels like you gotta hit a home run every day. Yeah, to me. It's like man, I gotta let him know. I gotta I need to teach Denver the gospel. He's gotta get saved today. Ooh, come on, Lord. It's the everyday non-stop personal devotion by you. And then in 16 years you see, oh wow, yeah, right that's come together from this. And so that's thanks for sharing a little behind the scenes. That's so good. One of these uh further down questions, we're gonna skip ahead. How do you cheer loudly for your kids without letting the world convince them their worth is in what they do?
SPEAKER_04Ooh. Ooh, oh. I think maybe to like duplicate things we've already said, like just the consistency, like consistently loving them, consistently giving them boundaries, like being that safe place for them to land. Like where they know they know what to expect in our home. It's not like we're our home is not one more place where there's shifting sand. Like they're gonna walk in, they know what to expect, they know we're gonna be there, we're gonna be consistent. And so we're just loving them no matter what, like through the times we have to correct, and through the times we're cheering them on and saying, Man, you hit a home run, you did so awesome at this. Um, we're just there through it all, being very consistent, hopefully trying to anyway.
SPEAKER_02Thomas said, This is the house of winners out here.
SPEAKER_01We got a lot of trophies, we got a lot of trophies.
SPEAKER_00Trying to pull the trophies out of the cabinet, you get this one today. Um, I I would say uh like a a bigger way, just being present as much as possible, right? So again, whether they win or lose, whether they want to talk about a boy or a friend or their school or their dreams, right? Or um even their memories that they had from back. I mean, it's easy to just shut someone off and go keep going, yeah, mm-hmm, yeah, while I'm watching the Razorbacks play, right? I'm like, so there are times and I'm like, pause, thank God for pause, I can pause it and actually, right? That's a word. Right, right. I mean that yeah, right, right. Just pause and listen. Um, but being present for them um to show that they are worth my time, yeah. Just literally worth it, because uh there are multiple people in this world who don't have someone to sit down with to uh or nor have someone actually pour into them. Yeah, and sometimes I feel like I'm not pouring in more like a trickle, but sometimes that trickle adds up, and then maybe one day I can pour in a little bit more. Um, but it is it is tiresome, it it really is. But when you get to see my kid, one of my kids praying on the front row for s for another lady, I'm like, okay, yeah, I see where this was going to be. I can do this again. I can yep that re-energize. Like, okay, I'm I'm I'm ready to go again.
SPEAKER_04Well, and just to shout him out as a dad of girls, I mean, we all know how important that is in this world. And like they've had nobody better. Like, he was just built to be a girl dad. I've always said that truly, he really is. Um, I mean, he has like the intentional time with him, they are all so close to him, like individually, like just individual things that is like their thing with him, and you've done that since they were so little. And I mean, I'm raising these girls and knowing what is coming at them, and like that strong foundation with their dad is huge, I think, for them having the confidence in this world to just not be blown over by I need all the attention, whether it's from other males or even just friends, and all of the pieces that come with it, like they've got this guy in their corner, like they don't need anything else, you know what I mean? And then um, just being ready to guide them at in the next season, you know, as they're looking at what does it look like I'm dating and and a husband and how they need to treat me anyway. He's just he's done such a good job, but like it cannot be overstated. The importance I think of yeah, you know, I've been there for all the deep talks, not that he hasn't, but like so much more of that, and he's he is just that solid rock for them and like truly strong relationships with each of his girls in the sweetest way.
SPEAKER_02So and we don't have time to dive into this, but I do want to I can tell your girls adore you. Like they just they love their dad. Yeah, and I talked to so many dads, and this is where we can't dive in today. But they are if there's a girl that's like them, like loves sports, loves hunting, love he's like, That's my girl, like, yeah, but if there's one that's not like that, that's more um maybe scholastics, loves to read, uh, right, right, he's like, I don't know how to connect with her. But it's it's you that's that's taking the intentional time to figure out how do I how do I get close to your heart? How do I pursue you? How do I get in your world and not allow hey, are you gonna come to me? Yeah, are you gonna come in my world? That's right.
SPEAKER_00That's good, man.
SPEAKER_02That's something for dads that maybe if you feel uh like this isn't your strength, this can be your strength. What would you say to a dad like right now that's maybe feeling that way?
SPEAKER_00Um I feel like you you gotta flex, um, is the best way I could say it. So if you like the season that we are with London, if you don't know, if I if I know where she was last year and what she liked and what she didn't like and how I could be close with her, well, this coming year it's it's gonna change.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So when it changes, I need to be able to, okay, you're more interested in this now and you're less interested in this. So I need to be able to move with the times, right? For the people who um let's just say aren't that intentional about it, I I feel for them because they're they're I mean their kids in hindsight may think it was okay. But man, I I I love my time with my kids, and I sure hope that on the flip side that they really gained some appreciation on how much Gina and I was were actually trying to pay attention to what they liked and what they didn't like.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Thank you for joining us on the Stronger Families podcast. If today's episode encouraged you, share it with another family who could use it. And remember that when God strengthens you, he strengthens your family. So let's keep building stronger families together.
