Episode 15: How To Lose 3 Guys In 10 Days

No… this isn’t a dating guide. It’s the story of what happened when I thought I was ready to date again.

In this episode, I talk about putting myself back out there, meeting a few people, and genuinely trying to build a connection. But the more dates I went on, the more I realized I wasn’t looking for a relationship—I was looking for peace.

Sometimes we think we need someone else when what we really need is ourselves.

We’re talking about learning to enjoy your own company, taking yourself out, finding happiness without depending on someone else, and asking yourself one important question: When you’re alone, do you actually love the person you’re with?

I also want to say something to the people I met and then never texted back. I’m sorry. It was never my intention to waste your time, lead you on, or disappear. I truly appreciated the time you gave me, but I realized I needed to step away and spend that time reconnecting with myself. That wasn’t about you—it was about where I am in my life.

This episode is about choosing yourself without guilt, protecting your peace, and realizing that being single isn’t something to fix. Sometimes the best relationship you’ll ever build is the one you have with yourself.

So if you’ve ever questioned whether you’re actually ready to date—or if you’re just learning how to love your own company—this one’s for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Oh my god, there's a lot of things I gotta say in this podcast today, and hopefully I don't get canceled or people don't hate me on this. It's just how I feel. You know, can a brother feel his feels and tell the stories that need to be said? And said what I said, and I said what I meant, what I meant, what I said, and I said what I said, and I meant what I said. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but hey, here it goes. Welcome, welcome back, guys, to another brand new episode of the problematic pod. This podcast is problematic. You know, the title is actually um one of the best things I've ever created. And I was actually looking in the internet to see exactly if anyone has like got that uh title. But the thing is though, everyone I I you know, especially on Apple Pod, there's like a few problematic pods. And on YouTube, there's like two. And mine, so there's three, but whatever. Hey guys, hey guys, uh, how's everyone doing today? It is Monday. I actually was gonna record this on last Thursday. I promised you guys I was gonna, you know, have like a separate episode of like the last topic I was talking about on the podcast, but shit happens, the time, the timing wasn't right, and to be honest, I took a walk. I took a walk on last Thursday, Friday, I know last Friday actually, celebrating the anniversary of like you know whatever what happened, and you know, I was at peace, I was fine, and I I took my little recorder and my little like microphone to record, but all you heard is like fucking bird calls, win, and me heavy breathing. As a fat ass, you know, that's all you're gonna get from me. No, but I really wanted to record a podcast. Uh, I've been really wanting to talk about things, things that's been happening for the last month. July, oh my god, July has been a fucking roller coaster. Mercury wasn't retrograde, that's why. So I think everybody felt it. Uh, I don't really like believe in signs like that, but when it comes to the retrograde, the Gatorade, it's you feel it, and you know, and I was feeling it. But the thing is though, like, I do want to say that, you know, like I've been feeling good recently, and a little too good, which I'm like, okay, I'm I'm like waiting to like any bad news or whatever, you know. Uh mentally I've been fine, physically, I've been fine. I dropped down a few other pounds, and I can fit now in my I'm gonna say what size pants, but I I can fit some of the old pants I used to wear, so I'm actually excited about that. And I have uh a lot of Palooza this week, so yeah, I'm really excited. I was excited with everything. You know, I don't know, it's just July has been kicking my ass, but kicking my ass, but I've been I don't know, I've been good. It's just like in between, like, you know, it's you're good and you're bad. Has anyone ever felt like that before? When it comes to like, you know, feeling like in the middle, you're in a limbo or whatever, you're in the good, but you're in the bad, but it's you're in the middle, but uh whatever. I don't I'm not making any sense. I want to talk about a few things today, guys. I want to talk about as you can read a title. This is something I didn't want to talk about, but I I feel like I have to, and you know, so it's not me necessarily like losing somebody, it's it's me really like finding myself and wanting to be with myself. I do want to say, and for any of you guys listening, it's not that I damn, I don't know how I say this without sound like a fucking prick. I was talking to multiple guys, okay? I was talking to multiple guys, and you know, I know it was shitty of me to do that, but the thing is though, I um I realized at the end that shit, I wanna be with myself, I want to be by myself. Uh, even texting, like I only met up with one of those guys, but with the even the the texting going back and forth, and I'm just like, damn, this is too much work, and this is not for me. I honestly like felt like I was going to I don't know. I just feel like it was so much work, and you know, I met up with one of the guys, and let me just say this, you know, all of the guys that I was talking to, they're nice, they're sweet. I'm not gonna say their names, but let's say the first one is Larry. So with Larry, you know, I met on TikTok. I met him like a few months ago, actually. And he was he, you know, he he's a nice guy, you know. We were chatting, sending messages back and forth, this and that. The one thing I do want to say is that he was really um, like he was really into texting and really like expressing his feelings and how, you know, oh, you know, hope you have a great day, or I hope this and that, and you know, he was like, which I I I appreciated. Trust me, I I do, but sometimes it's just like, all right, you know, bro, we I'm good, you know, I'm really good, you know, everything's fine. But I met up with him, I think, like a week, two weeks ago, and it was a fun night. I I will say that I was a little drunk, I was a little tipsy, and but I met up with him. Um met up with Larry, and he picked me up. We were cruising around, he took me to this bar, which was real cool. I never I haven't been out in a while, so I was kind of like out of my element. But I was I was drunk. We were, you know, drinking, and you know, the night, you know, I mean the ride back home, it was it was fine, and you know, like he he's he's a good guy, he really is a good guy. But the thing is though, like I'm not gonna say like, oh, it's not it's not for me. It's like definitely for someone, but not me. And and and it was like, you know, we you know, I we we talked about like kind of a lot of things, but I just, you know, it it just sucks that you know I kind of feel like I wasted this this man's time because I didn't really feel anything and nor wanted to, you know, I I I said this many times in podcasts, like, you know, I'm not looking for love. I'm not I don't really believe in loving like that anymore, to be honest. Like, I don't the last time I got excited about someone was it was back in 2020, and you know, this one guy I was talking to, I will say his name because I don't think he's here anymore, Andre. Like, I was talking to him in 2020. It was this dude that you know I met, of course, online. And you know, this is how excited I was when I was talking to this guy. I used to wake up really early in the morning. Well, I used to wake up regardless, whatever, but I used to like send them messages, like quotes, like, you know, like today, this day, and blah blah blah, season day, you know, oh, the weather is this. I'm like, what the fuck was I doing? And he was like, Hey, good morning. Oh, thank you. You know, so I was like doing the most when these motherfucker really did nothing to do with me. Like, he didn't even like we talked about, and I never met up with him too. That's that's the fucked up part. I never met up with him though, but I did, I really did like him. I started to like him a lot, and you know, I was getting a little excited because you know, like I used to, you know, I was doing my own thing in 2020, and I was really excited to just trying to talk to him and everything, but he was just like, nah, no, no. I might he didn't say it like that, but you know, he did kind of uh ghost me around July of 2020, which is like wow, you know, but he was going through his own shit too, and you know, we expressed how much we liked each other, which was so stupid, but he was just like, Man, I wish I had time. And then his motherfucker was on grinder. I went to my one of my friends' house, you know, I went to my friend's house, and my friend at the time, we were like, we used to go walk around uh during the summer back in COVID time, and then you know, I we uh we were just like, oh, let's just go on grinder, see what's up, you know. And he was on fucking grinder, and I'm like, oh wow, and then I got texts on the next day, like, oh, how you doing, you know, nothing, and but yeah, whatever. Motherfucker's talking about like he doesn't want to hang out or anything like that, but he's on fucking grinder, typical fucking gay. Like, but yeah, that was like the last time I got excited for someone, fucking Andre. I think he's he I think he lives in LA now, whatever. But back to Larry, but yeah, I I had you know when I was hanging out with him, I'm just like, you know, I okay, you know, I have the time the entire time it's not that I was drunk, but I was just like I it liquored courage, you know. Like I was in it. So it, you know, I you know, yeah, it was but like I said, he's such a nice guy, he really is. He was really down to earth, really had he has a good head on his shoulder, and I it's not that I don't want him, you know, but I I do want to say is that like I said, like he's nice, he's nice, but I wasn't feeling anything, and I don't want to say any attraction, you know, either. Like, okay, I know this sounds so bad when you say, like, okay, you know, I feel like when you are dating someone or you're interested in someone, there has to be some physical attraction. And I'm not saying that he's ugly or anything like that, it was just not doing it for me. Because I don't think that was my type, you know. My type are like the little nerdy fucking guys with glasses to be fucking playing Pokemon Go. You know, that's you know, my fucking type, a fucking nerd. But yeah, it was just like it wasn't, it's not that it wasn't do it wasn't doing it for me, but I was just like not really damn. Everything that I I'm gonna say, it's gonna sound like so kind of rude and kind of fucked up. But here it goes. No, I wasn't attracted. I wasn't attracted to the guy, I really wasn't. He was a nice guy, he was everything like in and paper, he's perfect, but there was nothing there for me to even, yeah. I I just you know, even to for send another text or or you know, explain to him anything. Like, I have not texted him like since last week or two weeks ago, and nowhere I kind of I don't want to. Like, I you know, we can be friends, but the thing is though, like it's not there, and if it's not there, I'm sorry. If I don't feel it in the first time we meet, I'm not gonna look, I'm not gonna like look again or go on, you know, just to no, I'm not gonna do that. But Larry, you were a good guy, and like I said, like you, you know, whoever ends up with you, he will be like so lucky to have a guy like you, but the guy is not me, and you know, I'm sorry. I I I I c sorry okay, so after that, so I I met another guy. You know, okay, am I the only one who's on that Facebook dating thing? It's like there, so I'm like, might as well just do it. You know, you're just bored and you're just browsing around. So I think I met him on there. Let's call him Jake. So, Jake, like, I never met the guy either. Never met the guy. But you know, we we talked on the phone, and we we talked like for like an hour here, an hour there. Like, we were on the phone talking, and we got along so so good. And you know, we were matching each other's energy, we were like, you know, talking shit to each other and and just going back and forth, and that and that was good, you know. I it I had fun, but again, the attraction wasn't there. Like, okay, I didn't meet him in person, but even looking at his pictures, I okay. I just want to say clarify, none of these guys I'm talking about, I'm not saying they're ugly or anything like that. It was just not my type, and I had to have some kind of attraction. I'm I'm sorry. I'm not saying that I'm all that either. I'm not saying like, oh, I'm like this fine piece of ass or whatever. No, not saying that at all. But what I am saying is that if I'm gonna be with somebody, I you know, there's gonna be some kind of attraction. And how do you guys need to understand that? Like you have have you guys, you know, might agree with me or maybe whatever, but I'm not settling down for just for anyone. I'm not like I'm looking to you know to date, you know, to be together or whatever. If it happens, it happens. But you know, the attraction I had with these guys, with this guy, with Jake, I it wasn't there. He was a good guy, funny guy, makes me laugh and all that. It wasn't there. It it really wasn't there, and you know, and I kind of fucked up by actually we we set a date we were supposed to go out, you know, that Thursday, but I cancelled on him and I went out with like hurry. Yeah, but you know, shit happened, I guess. You know, who hasn't done anything like that? Or is it just me? Okay, Jake. You were a good guy, you were a great guy, but I'm sorry the attraction wasn't there. Um I should have told you sooner. I should have talked to you. I should have. But I feel like you knew exactly, you know. You know, I we didn't text much or anything, and yeah. So that was that was Jake. Okay, let's let's talk about number three now. Number three, I'm not gonna say he was a dud. I'm not gonna say that at all. He's like the first guy, actually, that I started talking to in the last month, I wanna say. Let's just say month, you know. In the last month, you know, let's let me see. If if I were to describe someone, he was very like I don't know, like I don't I don't wanna say dry. I don't want to say anything like that. He wasn't dry, he like it was a nice conversation, he has a nice little accent, little, you know, you can tell he's very Latino. Uh you know, and he was very you know let's let's call him Freddie, okay? So Freddie and I met once again on the Facebook dating. I should just title this episode horrors of the Facebook dating, whatever. But he um we we met on there, we started talking, and then even like before anything, like you know, me being busy, like I didn't text back on the on the side, and he's like, Well, you know, like he I think he got mad. He got mad talking about, oh, like, you know, oh, are you gonna be talking to me, or is it gonna be one of those like, you know, like you take forever to text back, or oh, I don't be waiting for nobody on my way. Hold on, slow down, slick. Like, this has nothing to do with anything. I just I've been busy like shit. Like, sometimes I forget, sometimes I don't even be texting anyone ever. You know, like the only people I'd be texting or fucking Snapchatting is like those fucking people that I work with because I need to know what the fuck is going on. But, anyways, yeah, he was he was like that. We we were talking, it was fine, it was cool. We never set a date to hang out, he wasn't bad looking, but Freddie, it wasn't it either. It was just like we talked, it was fine, and that's that's about it. And the the only thing, well, the thing that all these three guys have in common, you know, the three guys that I was talking to, who was it, Larry, Jake, and Freddie, they have one thing in common, and the thing is though, like, damn, I wasn't interested. And it's not even, you know, because like I said, it's not because like they're not attractive, it's that they're not attracted to me, or you know, you know, hold on. Let me let me say it like this. I I was just like not feeling them like that, okay? But whatever. And the moral of the story is that at the end, I chose myself because to be honest, dudes, okay. Let me just say this. I've been doing my own thing, you know. This whole year has been fucked, has been ups and downs and problems here with friends, with family, you know, this and that, and blah blah blah. It was it's just been too much that I've really isolated myself from like really the whole world. I all I do is just go to work, come home, lock myself in my room, and then on the weekends, or if I don't work the next day, I'll be in the garage just chilling. And that's pretty much what I've been doing. And me talking to people, me like trying to hang out with anyone or even try to set a date or even date someone, I feel like that's taking like away a part of me where I'm like, no, I'm not, I don't, I don't, I don't think I should be doing this. Because to be honest, when I when I hung out with Larry, I the next morning, it's not that I felt sick, but I just felt like, who the fuck am I? Like, why am I doing this? Why am I you know it wasn't anything to be kind of mean or anything, but I was just like, oh, this is not me. Like, why am I talking to people? Like, no, like I prefer my quiet, my peace. You know, I've I'm I haven't experienced peace like that since COVID, actually. Like when I just I was doing my own thing, not talking to anyone, and I was just like, just there, you know, doing my thing. And, you know, I pretty much felt like that. Like, you know, me being in my garage is just like doing my thing, but you know, texting people that I have no business texting and promising things that you know I'm not gonna like fall through with. You know, that's that's kind of shitty. That's I I will agree, that's kind of shitty. That's kind of something that I did, and I, you know, I was telling people you know, my story and everything like that. And you know, like it seems like I was just like bored, to be honest, and uh I was bored, and I I think that's why I started talking to people. And I never get bored, honestly. When I'm by myself, it's just me doing like you know, watching my TV, watching it, hearing hearing my music, fucking doing karaoke and shit. You know, that's me, but I've never I felt this loneliness that I haven't felt before, and I kind of wanted some interaction, but it was the interaction wasn't with anyone that I wanted to talk to. I mean, I I want to be seen. I want to be seen with someone cool, someone who counts, you know? And not that they didn't, but it's just someone that I wanna be seen with. You know what I mean? It's kind of yeah, that's that's that's what it is. I'm not trying to be mean and malicious or anything, but but yeah, but like I said, I was lonely for some reason, and for me to even admit that, it's kind of disgusting because I've never felt like lonely like that before. But I felt that I guess it's true, you know, everyone does go through some periods of like loneliness and stuff, and damn, I I felt, you know, I went, but the dating world for me right now, it's uh I don't know. And I didn't lie about when I said I haven't been on a date in forever. Like I haven't been on dates since like my ex. And that was 2019, that was like seven years ago. And I you know, it's not you know, that's why like part of the I wanted to do like a full episode on that topic on him. It's not like like he broke me, it's not like he damaged me, it was nothing like that. It was just like I don't want to waste my time anymore. I don't want to waste my time. And good thing I didn't even like you know talk to these guys like like a lot. I talked to them like maybe like a week or two. So it's like, yeah, I wasted two weeks, but I still kind of um didn't really like, you know, I don't I don't see anything bad about it. Okay. The loneliness was just like there, and I'm just like, what the fuck? But after that, I'm like, wait, hold the fuck on. No, hell no. Like, I'm gonna no, like, I I need my piece. I I I like my peace, and when I do go out, I go out by myself. Like, honestly, like this weekend, I'm popping out. I am like, I don't give a fuck where I end up. I don't know I'm be a lap, don't worry. But when I go out, you know, I take myself out and I have fun, regardless of what the fuck I do. I go watch a movie, I go downtown, watch the fireworks. It's downtown Chicago in the summertime. There's a lot of things to do. So I take myself out and I have fun. And why do I need to bring somebody else with me? You know, that's I mean my relationships that failed, they failed for a reason. And I don't want to go to that again. I don't want to go, you know, the whole thing with, you know, trying to meet somebody like, hey, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite number? What's your favorite movie? Like, no, I I really don't, honestly. Like, I don't want to date. I just want to be with myself. And I want to be free, and I want to be just locked down with myself, focusing on myself, focus on my health, mental, physical, all that stuff. Cause like I said, this whole year has been shit. And yeah, I don't I don't, you know, me continue on talking to these guys is it's not gonna make me feel better because why would I even wanna talk to anyone? But anyways, guys, that's the story. That is the topic of how to lose a guy in ten days. Which is kind of yeah, it was kind of ten days. I you know, it it it happens, I guess. People just you know, just don't like to hang out with people, and that's me. But yeah, guys, that's like some of my experiences that I happen this month. It's really been that. And am I still on the Facebook dating? Yeah, I mean, it's just there, you know. I just I get bored. It's like I feel like everyone that has that, like, you know, people I I remember I was talking to this one guy who we used to just like talk and hang out, kind of like fool around, but we were never anything, which was like that was kind of perfect. Um, we were like friends, but you know, all he did was like, you know, like you know, went to work, chilled, we chilled, whatever, and then just be on hinge or fucking whatever and scroll. That's like a nightly thing everyone does. Because we're just bored, it's not like we're not some people are not really looking for anything. We just like, you know, it's it's like a we're just looking, like, oh, who's around? Blah blah blah, and that's it. Rarely you find someone you are really attracted to or is actually, you know, your type, but other than that, mostly just creeps and psychos and another Billy Luna somewhere out there. But yeah, guys, it's a short video, short audio, guys. There's nothing else for me to say about this topic. I just want to say I apologize to everyone that I've hurt. I am sorry if you feel that I took it too far. I might have nothing bad to say about you guys. Thank you so much for listening to me and talking to me, but I'm sorry for wasting your time. Alright, guys, that's a wrap on this week's episode. Uh kind of like a 20-minute video. It's all good. Next week I will return. You know what? I'm trying to have like videos, maybe like every Monday or Tuesday, just to keep like a like a schedule floating and all that. So, but yeah, guys. Alright, guys, until next time, please be safe out there. Remember, if you don't want to be with anyone, don't waste people's time because that's what I did. Alright, guys, thank you so much for listening to the problematic podcast. This podcast is problematic, and I'll see you in the next one. This is the public service announcement. If you're hearing this, then you're part of the problem. This podcast is problematic. Let's go.