Welcome to the Christianity and Business Podcast with host Darren Sheer, an initiative of the RTW Dunham College of Business at Houston Baptist University. This is the show that helps Christian business leaders integrate their local values into business. You can get more information about HPU Center for Christianity and Business and sign up to receive free access to all pages of the Christian Business Review Journal by visiting our website at Christianityandbusiness.com.
SPEAKER_03On this episode, we're joined by Tom Tweed. Tom is a Christian career and business consultant whose goal is to help Christians to become disciples in the workplace. Tom and his team have successfully developed several global projects into multimillion dollar ventures, specifically in the wires and cables industry. And he's also a youth pastor and helps young people to navigate their career options and discover what God has called them to do in the workplace. Tom, welcome to the Christianity and Business Podcast. Thank you, Darren. I'm very glad to be here. So what inspired, and we're going to be talking in this particular interview, we're going to really hone in on this issue of dealing with difficult coworkers because that's something that you've had experience with in the area of expertise that you're coaching people on. So what inspired you to start diving in and helping people in this area?
SPEAKER_02Well, in the very early stage of my career, I was in sales and I come to realize there's so many different types of personalities. And I got a hold of Myers Briggs MBTI diagram, and I realized there are 16 different personalities. So with each one that's different from us, we tend to uh since um we don't get along with them, there are um adversaries, but instead, if we're to realize they're here to help us, to help us grow, and we can achieve uh much more in a teamwork environment. So um the way I look at difficult personalities is to understand and to have empathy for these people. And uh a lot of times it's not they're they're um the people they're they're not difficult people, but people with difficult behaviors, and with each uh size of behaviors, they're um ways we can help them and help us to work together.
SPEAKER_03Is there a particular scenario that comes to mind from your personal career, maybe in your sales background, where you had to deal with a difficult person or personality type? Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I remember a while back I used to work with uh a buyer in our company, and um she is very tense. And uh um when she received work to process purchase orders, she would not give out response or be waiting for uh a time for completion, and she would not give us any feedback. And um uh it frustrated all the sales department because we want the order to be processed on time. And after a while, um I paid attention, I realized this young lady, when she comes into the office, it takes her approximately two hours to warm up, and then um she would be more um uh she would she would be more friendly to others. So um between 10 to 12, and then after lunch, after lunch, probably around like one to three, and those are the good times. It would be very good to talk to her, but after three o'clock, and she sends that pressure, you know, um, to complete the work before before uh the end of the day, she'll get tense again. So I come to realize there's uh a good timing to work with the people um who has difficult behaviors.
SPEAKER_03Tell me about some of these difficult behaviors. You've kind of uh you've got some archetypes that have been defined that are probably gonna be familiar to some people, like the like the bully and the manipulator. Correct, right?
SPEAKER_02Um we have the uh the bully, uh, the passive, the uh the one who has um high ego, um, who is very systematic, very rigid, um, or simply rude, um, like the one I mentioned, who is very silent, or the whiner.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And I'm sure those uh descriptors are quite familiar to our audience. And then you talk about the Angry Bob scenario. What is that?
SPEAKER_02So the Angry Bob scenario is in a large manufacturing company, um, the owner, Bob Sr. walks down the production line one day and uh sees an operator assembles a piece of uh plastic thumbscrew incorrectly into a high-end copy machine. So he begins yelling and shouting at the operator, tells him that the screw will come loose and his poor workmanship is going to cost the company's reputation. And uh Bob Senior wants a scene and make sure the entire plant can hear his screaming. So the quality team quickly comes over and exam the screw, and indeed it was not seated properly, even though it looks and feels tight, but it may fall, you know, eventually have so many uh vibrations in the field. And the field service costs is very expensive, it costs the company revenue, and uh plus you know the customers may get upset. And with this scenario, um, how would an operator respond or a line supervisor or the quality team, or how will we um resolve the situation peacefully and quiet uh quietly with Bob Senior? So um what I would suggest is to acknowledge the situation um of the uh the quality issue and uh point out um the training program because a lot of times when the manufacturing uh production team they rush people or the operators put them on the production line to work, but they were not uh trained properly or satisfactorily. And also with the um the uh online inspection, a lot of times the the inspection was not done properly. So the the owner or the customer when they walk down the line, they will catch such mistakes. When someone when someone is able to explain those uh details to the to to Bob, Bob Senior, that he would understand this and then he would um give the authorization to the person who is in charge to resolve the situation instead of picking up the job and do it himself.
SPEAKER_03So what archetype would Bob fit into?
SPEAKER_02I guess uh egotistic or uh what type of uh difficult behavior he would yeah, yeah. Well, it would be the bullying type because yeah, he would not be the one to do the work. He could just call a meeting, ask the line manager or the uh the uh QA supervisor coming and have them done the job, but instead he did everything himself.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. Let's hone in on this bullying issue. It how how prevalent is this in our workplace today? Where does this show up?
SPEAKER_02It is very common uh from customers, um, sometimes from suppliers, internally, from uh uh VPs, directors, or even the line supervisors. It happens very often. This is because the company is mostly profit-driven, and especially with uh uh the public companies, they have uh pressures to present themselves to the media. A lot of times uh the companies I used to work with, if something goes wrong and the media knows it, uh you can see the stock drop immediately the next day. So instead of um uh resolving the situation peacefully, um, they would aggressively seek a solution immediately.
SPEAKER_03And so what are some other scenarios where bullying shows up? Maybe um anything that you've experienced personally?
SPEAKER_02Well, um what I experienced personally is because the resources in the uh in the company is limited, a lot of times we cannot uh foresee how our group is um able to pick up certain market or certain clients. Um I remember a couple years um we would receive a lot of um uh inquiries for quotes, uh for samples, for drawings, and we're sure if we're able to get that business. So uh with limited resources, we still need to get the job done. Um I reflected um to the to the uh owner of the business, we need to make more hires or even part-time or seek interns, um, the idea was shut down. So I was in a situation where I need to lead my team to complete the uh the business proposal, otherwise uh we wouldn't get a fair share of our annual evaluation. So in that way, I feel I was moving.
SPEAKER_03So, what are some ways that we can help people with difficult behaviors? So maybe you're uh maybe it's it's your boss, maybe it's your co-worker, board member, whoever it might be. What are some ways that we can help those people?
SPEAKER_02Well, I think uh the best way is always to start with the Bible. Um, in the Bible, there are a couple passages that states very clearly um what we would need to focus our heart on. So um with the fruit of the spirit, it says um love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. So that's in Colossians 5, 22, 23. Um, we always speak truth in love and love our neighbor as ourselves. So those are very good teachings straight from the Bible, and also um in Ephesians uh chapter 6, 14 to 18, the armor of God. I think the most important is to stand firm, uh, make our position known to others so we would not be bullied, and also uh pray. A lot of times prayer works, and once the prayer works, we share that as testimonies, as stories to others, so they can feel the presence of God with us at the workplace.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think that's a good point about the the armor of God and it just that display of a God-centered confidence is really a repelling force against bullying because people will begin to recognize that they just can't that you're not gonna put up with it. You're not gonna you're not gonna tolerate it. And so, and that's what bullies do is they go after the weakest link, right? People that look like uh, you know, they've got they've got some of their own interpersonal problems or they they react with with a lot of fear and anger, and that bully knows how to push those buttons, right?
SPEAKER_02Right, right. So um in the workshop that I teach, um, I start with the the power of the Bible and uh to understand difficult person who has those behaviors. Like I say, MBTI is a very good uh uh key chart that I use to understand there are 15 other personalities that's just different from us, especially at the workplace. Um, this is uh a team environment, teamwork environment where to accomplish a goal, to make a profit. And uh I think the key to work with people with difficult behaviors is to have compassion, um, to understand how they feel, to help the person to develop a positive identity. A lot of times um the clients I work with, they get very upset if something goes wrong. Or internally, if um certain departments are not able to reach a goal, for example, sales or for accounting, they were not able to um collect payments from certain clients or production, they were having uh high failure issues um or get upset very quickly. But instead, we need to help that person first build up his or her confidence for him for them to uh explain the reason themselves so we can get to the uh the root of the problem. Um and I I mean um there are always people like that, and sometimes even you know, when we're having a bad day, you know, we're the person with the difficult behaviors. So the way I see it, we don't want to give them a hard time, but for them to uh explain the situation um clearly and concisely. And difficult behavior is the form of communication for them. Like I said, the people who um use many uh uh inappropriate communication methods like bullying, being manipulative, uh lying and cheating, that's the their way of communicating. For them, it makes perfect sense. It doesn't make sense for us. So our standard is the Bible. We go back to the Bible to see what the Bible teaches, and then we help that person to change, to realize um their room that they can become better. So what we need to do is to pay attention to every little details. A lot of times um there were signs for withdrawal, signs for agitation. So that's the time for us to slow down and not to uh go further and uh uh hit on their self-spot.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious as we wrap it up here, your your position as a youth pastor and working with these young people, what are you observing in terms of how they're approaching the world differently than you know, maybe even the millennial? Because the the you the high schoolers now are they're not even considered millennials, right? What is it called? Like which generation is it now? Uh the Z generation? I think you're I think you're right. Um, what are you noticing in terms of the way they're approaching as you help them with navigating college uh options and career options? Uh what are what what's kind of making them tick?
SPEAKER_02Well, um for the church kids, um many of them they would they know what they want and um they got inspiration from the Bible. For the unchurch kids, um they're struggling. I see a lot of them, they're um addicted to video games. They don't read, they rush through their homework and with medieval worker grace and they're satisfied. So um for me to guide them is for me to bring them to church. Once they're in church, they're able to understand God created us for a purpose, and that purpose is to honor Him and to live out the Bible. And uh once we receive that gifts, we're able to help ourselves, to help others. I see a lot of um youth and children, they are quite normal right after um school, like let's say like 2:30, 3 o'clock. They're good. But once they started to play video games, they become violent. They were yelling, they were screaming, and the parents shut down the uh the Wi-Fi and they will throw stuff and they will punch holes on the wall, or they will cut themselves. It is just amazing. Um, I would say this generation is a lost generation, which our generation, I believe we're responsible for um for for this type of uh um issues. And I'm one of those uh people who who says, um, I want to do something about it. I want I want to help this generation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Amen. Well said, well, it sounds like your your kids are obviously in good hands, but it's um, I mean, once they leave that church and they come out from another covering of their of their parents out in the schools, and and then when they go to work, I mean, this is something that I've been thinking about more and more is it it's not just about what they're exposed to when they are when they're at school, but then if they're working at restaurants and working at you know the different kind of stereotypical jobs that a 15 to 18 year old might might work in, uh they're exposed to people that are you know in their 30s and 40s that are living a lifestyle that is completely contrary to uh to the Bible. And and that was my personal experience. And and so there's such an important uh, there's a there's a need, there's a desperate need in order to help steer these kids in the right direction, but then provide environments for them to be able to work in a safe, in a safe place to discover what life is all about from a biblical perspective.
SPEAKER_02Correct. Once the young kids they learn um the truth of what they can and cannot do, it's a lot easier for them to work in a business field to stand up to their co-workers, supervisors, or boss and say no, because a lot of times, um, as I know, the um the one usually at the top with experience, with the power to give promotions and raises, they will look at the uh the college graduate and say, Oh, you don't know that much. And you know, you can um help me to accomplish this goal, I'll give you so much for rewards. But uh the intention of that job task is just sometimes purely evil.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's right. Well, Tom, any what would what would be a parting piece of advice you would leave with our listeners today uh on the subject of dealing with difficult coworkers?
SPEAKER_02Well, there are a lot of workshops out there and a lot of books that uh we can read. There are a lot of uh Bible verses that would teach us to be compassionate, to uh be sympathetic. Um we don't want to see these people as our enemies, instead, they're our friends, they're one part of us, especially if they're Christians. We're all one part of this body of Christ. So instead of uh complaining or um gossiping, we want to uh help them. And sometimes we're this difficult person and we don't even know it, we're not aware of that. So um I would say let's pray for the love of God to help us and uh let's grow together spiritually to uh work together in a team.
SPEAKER_03Amen. And where can people connect with you to learn more about your coaching services?
SPEAKER_02Well, we um I have a Facebook page, uh Tom Tweed Consultant. They can uh uh look it up, and they they can also connect me through uh Yelp.
SPEAKER_03Great. And that's uh Tom and Twee is spelled T U I. Uh-huh. So I want to encourage people to go and um you could do a Google search and find Tom fairly easily. Tom, thank you so much for your time today and for sharing this wisdom with us. May God continue to bless uh your work with helping people in the marketplace and helping these young people discover God's plan for their lives. Thank you, Derek. It's such a pleasure.
SPEAKER_00We hope you've enjoyed this episode. And if so, we would greatly appreciate it if you would leave us a quick rating and review for the Christianity in Business podcast on iTunes. You can get more information about HBU Center for Christianity and Business at Christianity in Business dot com. Thanks for listening, and remember to keep integrating biblical values into your business.