When Heaven Calls

From Death’s Door to Deliverance | Luis’ Radical Encounter with Jesus

• Forest Soleil • Episode 7

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Luis’ story is a powerful testimony of going from death to life.

After growing up without a father, serving in the military, and diving deep into new age spirituality, Luis found himself battling severe illness, fear, and spiritual confusion.

What began as a search for truth led him into darkness he didn’t fully understand—until one moment changed everything.

In a terrifying encounter with 7 demons, Luis was faced with a reality he couldn’t explain… and made a decision that would transform his life forever.

In this episode, we talk about:
• Father wounds and identity
• Military influence and spiritual deception
• New age beliefs and the pursuit of “oneness”
• Severe health decline and hitting rock bottom
• A real encounter with darkness
• Calling on Jesus and experiencing immediate change
• What it means to walk with Christ as a husband and father

This is a raw and honest conversation about spiritual reality, personal responsibility, and redemption.

If you’ve ever questioned what’s real, what’s true, or whether God still moves today—this episode is for you.

Support the show: Follow/subscribe and leave a positive review or comment wherever you listen or watch.
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More info: https://www.forestsoleil.com/when-heaven-calls-podcast

SPEAKER_07

What would you do if you suddenly heard voices telling you that your time was up? Not in a dream, not on drugs or psychedelics, wide awake in your normal day-to-day routine. Today's testimony is one of the most intense stories we've shared on the podcast. From military influence to new age spirituality to being physically on death's door. Lewis found himself in a moment where everything shifted. And in that moment, he had one choice to make. This is a story about what happens when you open doors you don't fully understand. And what happens when you call on the name of Jesus. This is Lewis's testimony. You're listening to When Heaven Calls, true testimonies and extraordinary encounters of lives changed by Jesus. I'm your host, Forrest Soleil. Welcome back to the When Heaven Calls podcast. I'm your host, Forrest Soleil, and I'm here with my friend Lewis.

SPEAKER_00

Hello.

SPEAKER_07

Thank you so much for being here, Lewis Bernhardt.

SPEAKER_00

It's a German name, so it's Bernard, but you know the Americanized version is Bernhardt. Takes away the power.

SPEAKER_07

I'm here with my friend Lewis Bernhardt.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Doing my best. Um, well, thank you so much for being here. I feel really grateful that you're willing to share your story. And I'm really genuinely curious. Some of the stories that we've had here, I've heard before, or I've heard bits and pieces. And yours, I I don't know a lot about your story. And I feel like really excited to hear it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it's very um, it's very in the in the in the gray area, you know. It's not very um, I don't really share many people.

SPEAKER_07

So okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I I guess I'm a mysterious person, but I just call it progress.

SPEAKER_07

I was sharing that with Alon. I was like, I I hope I get to figure out more of Lewis today.

SPEAKER_00

Well, everybody shall.

SPEAKER_07

So sometimes I've just dove right into the early life, but I'm curious today to hear grounding into the here and now, what does it look like for you walking with Christ now?

SPEAKER_00

Walking with Christ now is uh an experience of learning every day, trying to put one foot in front of the other wherever he his footprint is. And he says, I shall go. And I think that's uh that's a learning experience and it's a discipline thing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But also it's a I need you thing. And I you have the you have the ability to show me where I need to go and where to leave my family.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, that's good. It's it's important. You have an important role there.

SPEAKER_00

Well, yeah, we all have our roles in the family house, right? And then you know, one is one is nothing without the other. So that's why the creation is beautiful.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh the fact that we there's man and woman in unity in one flesh, and and and we can we have the opportunity to create and bring children into this world and have legacy, which is this this deep-rooted thing that has seeded out to my heart.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And um, you know, just being to have that rich legacy born into this world. You know.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, it's like when I think of being on my deathbed and like reviewing my life, really my heritage of children feels like the most meaningful and important thing in the relationships that I've cultivated in my life, my marriage.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Definitely. Definitely our our children are the shout onto the wind. Or, you know, I'm sure that took that from somewhere, not really sure.

SPEAKER_07

I was like, was that a Bible quote? I'm not familiar with though.

SPEAKER_00

Probably.

SPEAKER_07

You you have shared this term with me before of moving from death to life. When you look at your life now, like what does that mean to you? Going from death to life.

SPEAKER_00

I I literally think it's that red in black. Living a life of dysfunction. I was very ill. I was very I was on death's door, and we can dive a little bit into that later. Um, but now there's fruits. There's there's growth, there's new growth. Spring is here, thank God. And uh yeah, I think it's um it's quite literally from from death to life, and and it's something that we revisit in the Bible very often from death to life. And this is my testimony.

SPEAKER_07

Beautiful. Do you identify with that phrase like being born again?

SPEAKER_00

Um yeah, I I yeah. I mean, I think it's important when when somebody chooses to become baptized, I I think there is a revelation in their life and there is a rebirth, shedding of the old weight, um, and and having a new body in a sense. There is a sense of that.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Um so how long has it been that you've been walking with Christ?

SPEAKER_00

And that's the shocker, right? Uh it's been relatively new. It's been really relatively new. Uh I would say within the past two to two and a half years.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

It's um it's it's been a walk and and it's been um new. So I'm really surprised that how he can take up an individual from one place to another.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And and it just keeps going from there. It keeps building.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, it's amazing. He can do a lot with very little, and he can do a lot in such a short amount of time.

SPEAKER_00

It kind of makes you think of the the loaves of bread and fish, right? And feed the people.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. That's one of my favorite stories. And do you guys watch The Chosen?

SPEAKER_00

We have.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. That it obviously not all of it is appropriate for children, but that scene is so inspirational and it's really like friendly for kids. So I love to show it to my little one.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_07

Um, so what was your what was the early soil of your life like? What was your childhood like growing up? Was there any Christian influence or Christian foundation there?

SPEAKER_00

So growing up, I grew up in a single parent household. My mom, she's uh an excellent hard worker. She tried her hardest to provide. But you know, there was there was a day where I would go to bed on an empty stomach or eating a bowl of cereal, you know, back when I ate fruity pebbles.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That stuff was so bad for you to um yeah, and so we did have a slight influence of of the Christian church. My mom would try her best to get us there. I never really had a relationship with Christ. I never really connected with the church. I'd been there, you know, it wasn't consistent. It was it was when it was convenient. So I would say the influence of the Christianity wasn't it, it was present, but it didn't, um it didn't capture me. It didn't contain me. I was kind of just in my own world and didn't really have feel a connection or a draw at that point in my life. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_07

What would you say had had the greatest influence on your life and your childhood?

SPEAKER_00

Probably the fact that my mom got us through it. You know, and being who I am now and seeing how much raising a child is and what it entails, it's like, wow, not only did she um do it, but she did it by herself.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, and that's and my hat, I tip my hat to her all the time. And maybe in my past, you know, there's some past trauma with that on the relationship side and and maybe a little bit of like physical um abuse type things. But you know, my mom, she was dealing with so much that you know, she had so much stress in her in herself that and and I thank her because we we had a long conversation about it pretty recently um about that in particular, and she broke down and she apologized and about the physical abuse. Yeah, yeah, she broke down and she cried and you know, and I told her, like, you know, mom, I forgave you a long time ago. You know, I underst I I saw your pain, I saw what you were going through. I I understood that my father didn't step up to be who he who he was supposed to be, the role he was supposed to play. And uh, you know, so with that in mind, I had to grow up early, right? I had to, you know, at at the grade, let's say, grade five, grade four, I was waking up at six, six in the morning, getting myself ready, feeding myself, going to my bus stop, transiting to school, you know, and then after school going to a community center so that my mom, when she finally gets off work, can come and pick me up. So I definitely had that um sense of um independence.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Did you have any siblings?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I have a sister on my mother's side, and oh my gosh. My father, who wasn't present, um you're not gonna believe this, but he had over like 13 different children and all majority of them were from different women.

SPEAKER_05

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00

So it kind of I don't know what who would do that. Um, but I mean it's a big thing, it's a big problem. So um it just kind of it paints a picture of that you know, he was after his own desire.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know, he was always going for what he wanted rather than what he needed to do.

SPEAKER_07

Right. So wow. Was there any part of your story where your father was present, or from the beginning, like he just chose not to be a father?

SPEAKER_00

Um, well, in the beginning, when I was born, he was uh he was really, really extremely abusive. Um and I I'm actually a quote unquote miracle child. Like I wasn't I guess that's a self-defeating argument because God proclaims who's supposed to be here and he that happens because it's in his will, but the odds were against me.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, he threw my mom down a flight of stairs while sh I was in the womb. And so there's there was a lot of physical abuse on her end as well. Um, so uh yeah.

SPEAKER_07

It's really wild, you know, in my studies of midwifery and and doula were to learn that the number one cause of death for pregnant women is domestic violence is heavy and shocking. And like you think it's so rare, but actually it happens sadly a lot. And I'm so sorry that that's something that your mother experienced and you in the womb experienced. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm I mean, obviously I didn't have any recollection, but just stories.

SPEAKER_07

Right. Um So she chose not to have him involved when she saw that level of Yeah, I mean he was a he was a gangster, right?

SPEAKER_00

Like he was selling things and illegal things and you know, putting getting put in precarious situations, getting shot at um in this in the streets of Chicago.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So um yeah, I mean I'm I'm glad I I didn't have much influence from from him and uh and his the ending of his life was um pretty recent as well. It was around 2021. Uh he decided to take his own life. Um yeah. Yeah, I mean this and the way he did it was quite gruesome as well.

SPEAKER_07

And how how did that impact you?

SPEAKER_00

Um, you know, I dealt with uh the whole thing of not having a father for my entire life. So it's like you know, the the chance of not having him present was something I dealt with, but also in the same sense, like, oh this is normal ground. You know, this is but yeah, losing him did affect me. And I think it took a while to kind of integrate itself into my psyche and what it actually meant. But you know, I grieved and moved past it.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, beautiful. I'm curious from from what I understand, human psychology and things of that nature. The the sometimes having the lack of a father role can cause this tension between other authority figures. And I wonder if that's something that you experienced in your life. And then I kind of connect that to like the ultimate authority figure being God, and if that ever caused for you some resistance to the idea of Christianity or religion in general.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think you're touching on something that really is part of the story. And uh after we get done telling it, you'll be able to really see that that I there was a point in this story where I specifically chose to go against God and and our promise together because it's a relationship.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And so I there was a point where I went against him any particular moment that that caused a chain of events for me for um radical choice making that really dictated the future of where my life was gonna go. And that was a choice of life or death. And that's something else you we'll be able to talk about here.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, awesome. So it sounds like growing up with your mother and you were going to public school, I assume, and going to like community center afterwards, and that was kind of your experience in Chicago all the way through your teens. Did you always live in that area?

SPEAKER_00

In seventh grade, we moved to a uh northwest Indiana, um, which was a better neighborhood and um f fertile ground for a young, a young man and and a small family. Yeah. You know, I went through school, I was paying attention to the wrong things. You know, I wasn't really focused in school, I didn't have any guidance, I didn't have any um no real direction, uh, which was a problem because I was so concerned about um women, you know, I was that's all I cared about. It was like, oh, the next girlfriend or something like that. And you know, it clouded my vision, it clouded my drive, and and it really uh set me up for you know the next years of my life of how that looked. You know, I you know, I do I do wish I had paid more attention to my academics, my um, my my you know, how I treated my body. You know, I wish I had more focus and intention and was But you're young, right?

SPEAKER_07

We're all so naive at some point.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's easy to write off, but you know, where could you have been if you didn't start where you are, you know?

SPEAKER_07

Right. And did that that lack of focus or like discipline, as you say, did that kind of cause either your mother or your teachers to guide you into going towards the military, or was that a decision you made yourself?

SPEAKER_00

I think it was a decision. I'm it was definitely a decision I made myself because uh I didn't really have anything going on at the time. I know I didn't want to go to a university or college because um I didn't want to get into debt, you know. And and at the time I was researching on, you know, people who actually get out of school with these great degrees and their employment. They're actually underemployed, underpaid. And I was like, well, that doesn't really sound like a good deal, you know. Um, so I kind of found myself working at a a print shop with my mom at the time. Um, and she just she sat down with me and she was like, Lewis. It's like why I don't want to see you in this same working place that I'm in. I'm like, well, I mean, there's a lot of opportunity here, you know. I can get into graphic design, you know, XYZ. Um, and she said, No, I want better for you. And she was starting to have her own little reactions about me being there and doing her own mom thing and just not wanting to see her son where he is because she sees the potential.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that was at that time, I think God was uh pressing on her. Um, she was definitely more she has been more um into the church. Um she really f had had a relationship with God since the beginning. And you know, that's something that I can say that what has been there. Um it's more apparent now, she's more open about it now um than back then.

SPEAKER_07

Isn't that funny? Some I like notice that even in myself. Like I I want to have this morning routine, but I need to incorporate it with my child so they're really seeing the fruits and they're seeing the discipline and you know, how to create a relationship themselves. It's interesting. Sometimes the things that are most valuable we kind of keep internally, yeah. But what a benefit it is to like reveal that to others and to to share it, especially with your children.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, definitely. And we we can look at the world, right? Storytelling and and connecting with people and telling your story and and relationship. It's it, you know, it's impactful, you know, and it it needs to happen in a more positive, constructive matter. Um instead of the news just trying to infect our brains about the next end. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

No, thank you. Um, so when you were in the military, what was that experience like for you?

SPEAKER_00

Oh wow. The United States Navy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Were you in Annapolis?

SPEAKER_00

Uh no, I was in Norfolk, Virginia.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Uh I was at I was tied to a destroyer. And man, I tell you what. Not the best place to be when you're when you're sort of a renegade spirit, you know? You know, you have that like that training of like authority issue, and you know, and I have a brain of efficiency and effectiveness. So when I see a system and I evaluate a system, I instantly try to make it better. And that doesn't work in the military because no, it's what they say. That's what happens, and you need to do it and do it now, or else. And so yeah, that that got me in trouble a few times, I will say that. But you know, I'm everything's okay. You know, I got I did my time and I got out. Um, but I will say there, there uh in the times that I did get in in trouble, there like I I would get on restriction. And what restriction means is that you're not allowed to go anywhere. You need to stay on this specific installation. You can't go anywhere, you can't do anything. Wow, you have to show up at different times, you need to, you need to do extra work, you need to do extra cleaning, you need to do yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, I wouldn't do well there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I I definitely got a flogging in a in a literal, not a literal sense, but a meta like a um um metaphorical sense. So in that time that I had to myself, there weren't many people around. So, you know, I started searching on YouTube and you know, I didn't realize the influence that what was going on behind the scenes in the military was really impacting the person who who I was developing to be.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um behind the scenes spiritually, I mean spiritually and frequency warfare.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's a f it's a thing. Acoustic, acoustic, harmonic manipulation. It's a thing.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And people don't realize that. And people try to tell you, oh, I love the government. This is exactly what, you know, I believe in what they're telling me, right? And I'm like, well, I've been on the other side of that and I see what I've seen first firsthand what's going on. And I'm telling you, you know, XYZ, it's real. And so, you know, in the midst of that, I started researching frequencies and I started trying to look up binaural beats and start to this idea of meditation, right? And and and it's that's when the that's when the idea of me came in. The the ideology of self, the ideology of of truly Satan, right? When he saw an image of himself and he thought, wow, bask in the glorio his own glory. And and so he um, you know, he thought he can be better than God. He thought he can be God, right? Um and so which kind of ties into this whole um this whole modern day ideology around being God, be and and meditating and reaching enlightenment. And and so that's where that was born. That that's That's how that seeded.

SPEAKER_07

Because you were learning about you were noticing harmful frequencies and and then you were diving into what's really going on here and what am I seeing? And then your consciousness was expanding around that, but also, oh, how can I attain enlightenment or how can I, you know, what is enlightenment, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And were there certain teeth like spiritual teachers that you started following or I think there was a few YouTube people that I really um quote unquote were resonated with. Um, but you know, I was just trying to evaluate it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Make an assessment, identify what feels right. Um, and so from there on, it it that was what was born in me. And and I kind of just went with that. I I after the military, um, that's when I started to soul search more. I wanted to deep dive more into this idea of meditation and and stillness and mindfulness, and um, where is it coming from? What's the origin, right?

SPEAKER_07

One of the things I'm curious about from this time of being in the military and and exploring the new age, but also sounds like post-military, is like, what were the beliefs specifically that you were starting to hold about yourself and about the world?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I just started to see everything as as one, right? I started to think that everything was sentient. Like if you could meditate to a point you can actually put your hand through a wall, that sort of delusional thinking was in my brain. Like I I like I started to believe these ideas of of metaphysical powers, and which is an issue because it it kind of like takes you out of reality in a way.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

Um and you yeah, it it doesn't go well. And so um, by the way, little side note, when people say that that uh aerosol ejections are not real, um, they are because in the military we call it chaff. It's a specific thing that we do to to channel um storms.

SPEAKER_07

And that's something that so you were really a part of geoengineering when you were in the military.

SPEAKER_00

That was a thing. They didn't tell they didn't tell the lessers that like me, but you know, it doesn't take anybody when we're when we're specifically assigned to go along a hurricane and walk it up the side of the United States of America, you start to put two and two together with the some of the terminologies and things like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

That's fascinating. I mean, I've I've believed that for a long time, but it's nice to have it confirmed. I'm curious if if your peers, comrades, like the other people that you were doing this with were having similar discussions with each other, or it felt like a very solo journey recognizing these things and kind of having to internalize it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um, my military experience was not great. Um when I when I first got on board uh to my ship, I reminded the crew of somebody that just left that they hated. So I was instantly put into a box. And and from that moment on, I was not the build I was not able to build a good reputation for myself because I was always living in somebody's shadow.

SPEAKER_07

That's terrible.

SPEAKER_00

It was really odd, and um I didn't understand it. I think yeah. And and a lot of a lot of hazing, a lot of um ostrization, um, a lot of um just nastiness that comes with that.

SPEAKER_07

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, it's all right.

SPEAKER_07

It's you know well it's not all right, but I'm sorry that that happened. And it I'm glad that you're able to see it for what it was and not take it on as like a true story about yourself and just see it for like people's emotional immaturity and brokenness.

SPEAKER_00

You know, people, some people are are can be like thoughts, you know. If it's a nasty one, it comes into the mind, it leaves the mind. Right? I don't have to hold it. You know, you know, I'm thankful for when they come into my life, but I'm also grateful when they freaking leave.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Amen to that.

SPEAKER_07

So after the military, it sounds like you were expanding your mind, you were exploring a lot of beliefs, you were into like oneness, consciousness. And is that when I know that you had a period of your life where you were traveling and kind of exploring the world? Is that a cute scene for that?

SPEAKER_00

Oh wow. Yeah, I experienced a lot of things and from the military experience of traveling, pseudobayed Greece, a lot of Israel, Croatia. That was from the military. But after the military, you know, that seed of travel was rooted in me. I was very excited about seeing different cultures, experiencing a different life. And um it's a very, you know, humbling experience when you go to places like Thailand or India. Um, primarily um in Thailand. I I did some studying at this Buddhist temple. Um, stayed there for about a month and a half, just trying to tap like just trying to live the life of a monk, right? See, see what's going on, you know, read, you know, read the Bhavakita, um, and really try to get in touch with that that side of Buddhism, Taoism, and and Hinduism, right? That like Eastern idea uh of of spirituality and which is now knowing what I know now, I have some reflections on that. And did you did you know that the high the high priests in in the Hindu religion, the one who covers covers themselves with ashes? And I was this was verified by an an uh and Buddhist individual and active practicing, and and he he um he's actually from India, and he says that you know like the ashes that are on their skin are actually human ashes. And on top of that, the whole community that they're in, they're they're well, I I guess you can't say everybody's okay with it, but there's a common consensus that they're okay with if the high priest, but I I would call him a witch, um if they see somebody and they see that they're dead in spirit, they can eat them.

SPEAKER_07

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

So it's like it yeah, it sounds like they're kind of linked to like the 13 bloodline families doing satanic rituals, perhaps.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Or just influenced by the same demonic spirits.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it sounds like you're more knowledgeable on that than I am, but um it's just a wild fact that that kind of makes you think about well, in the garden God told the serpent that he will he will he lost his arms and his legs and he will tread the earth. And eat dust, and so from and from dust you've come to dust you will return for those who are who are in this flesh, right? And the serpent will eat dust. And so it's a it's a it's a self-defeating thing. Um and death will destroy destroy itself. Um so it's cyclical.

SPEAKER_07

Um Yeah, it's really it just strikes me so much how I could have, and so many of us could have in the past believed that Christians were so naive and so stupid, and that how could you possibly believe the things in the Bible? They're just stories meant to teach morality at like the Odyssey, and and and that we would think that Christians were like delusional and so naive. Yeah. And yet some of the things that we believed are truly wack-a-doodle. And and then you look at all the dots that are connected throughout, woven throughout the Bible, and how much the things that were happening historically then are still going on today. And it's just like it's really mind-blowing and how much factual evidence there is.

SPEAKER_00

It's the great illusion.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's it's modern day illusion work.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Just like allopathic medicine, modern day pharmacia, you know, the black screens that we sometimes stare at for more longer than we shall. Uh illusion work. It's like, oh, smoke and mirrors. You didn't see that. Watch this. You know?

SPEAKER_07

Wow. Um that's really crazy. Uh, did you learn about that with Ashes while you were there in your travels, or that's something more recently?

SPEAKER_00

I just learned about that probably a year ago. About I was doing some work on a on an infrastructure project, and and I was I started doing work with this individual, and we we just got to talking about our spiritual beliefs, and um, he shared that with me. And I'm like, oh, so they can eat them, you know. And so I was like, Oh, got it. All right, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_07

But do we still in that religion and totally cool with it?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. And it was a normal thing. The way he he communicated that it's like normal. That's that's good, in fact. That's what he was communicating. Making sense. Somebody.

SPEAKER_07

Um, so I imagine that in your travels, and it was this like a solo backpacking kind of adventure.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I had some companions with me at the time. I was one of them was uh more than a friend, and so I was I was with that individual for um quite some time, and we were kind of going from place to place Thailand, India, Philippines, uh, Indonesia. I was doing a lot of rock climbing. Uh that was a really cool experience. Rock climbing has been a passion of mine for a while. I haven't done it in quite some time, but I want to get back plugged in with it. Cool.

SPEAKER_07

I'm sure there's a bank community around that here.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, definitely. Uh there definitely is, but you know, rock climbing can be like anything else. It can be an ego thing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I'm doing it this way. You know, like, all right. Like, chill out. You want to climb or do you want to talk about this, you know? So um, yeah, I I want to plug in and I I I think that climbing is the it's a very it's a challenge, right? It's the idea of like you're you're having to use every part of yourself, you know, your perseverance, your will, your your body, you and your you have to control the emotion because you can easily fall. You know, you can easily fall. I mean, you're tethered, hopefully, if you're not a lunatic. Um, but that was a I think I I've always wanted to push myself to to those limits to to kind of get that oneness I idea, right? This because you're completely present. You have nowhere else to be but in that specific moment to take one hand in front of the other, yeah. And and try and grasp for the next hold, right? Which is um quite an allegory for life. Um, if you ask me.

SPEAKER_07

And were you able to experience that oneness that you believed in?

SPEAKER_00

Um no.

SPEAKER_07

Or was it more of like a mental construct?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I thought I was c cultivating these practices and doing the all the right things that I construct in my mind that this is fact and this is truth. Um, but when in fact uh I think this I I ended up having a dream later on as I was coming back to the States. Um got and I think it was a dream directly given to me from God, his the heavenly kingdom, that I was I was in the midst of of a place. I'm not sure what it was, but I was basking in the void, like I had a body, and I was I was just myself, and but there was a a void coming there was a void in my heart, and there was there and there was a pouring from my heart into this um this hole in front of me. And and I was just sitting there taking all these different things and shapes and items, and and I was trying to plug the hole so my heart could stop flowing into this bottomless pit. And um none of those things would fit, nothing would fill the void in my heart at the time. And I thought it was profound at the time. I thought, well, I I thought it was like it was something else, you know. I created my own ideas, but now reflecting it, I definitely have a better understanding as to what that means. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

What do you how do you perceive that now?

SPEAKER_00

Uh God, God alone is the only one that can fulfill any void in anyone's heart. Not just, you know, not just what I was trying to replace things with. Um and so yeah, I think that it was that simple. I I think he was he was just leaning into the fact that, you know, I you know, I can have a dream and I can see in color in the dream, and and I was experiencing this in the dream. So it was just like kind of that messenger, yeah, you know, trying to reel me in. Um, but kind of to to backtrack a little bit, um, out of the military, I started to experience a lot of illness, um, extreme illness, and it started to to accumulate more and compound over time, um, to when I finally got anchored into where we are now. And so it it turned out to be pretty bad. So bad that to the point where Alexandra, she would say that the room literally smelled like death.

SPEAKER_05

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like I was rotting from the inside. Oh wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Um what were some of the symptoms that you experienced?

SPEAKER_00

Um, some of the experiences that I had were was um incredible, immense uh fear of or or discombobulating um mayhem inside of my my mind and body. When I would go into stores, I would just get compounded and the walls with little room would close in. I would feel like I'm being watched, I'm being and I'm like claustrophobia, yeah, and then schizophrenia, maybe even. Exactly, exactly. And it started to really impact my life, my relationship. Um but from that mo moment, um I just really didn't know where to go. And these things were um just impacting me. And prior to Alexandra meeting to her meeting her living in the western North Carolina area, I s I was, you know, on my own. I was trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with my life. I had jobs here and there. I was never able, I was never stable. I was able to provide for myself, um, but the local economy is just not not um not friendly for a single male at the time, especially here. It's super um tends to be on the more liberal side, which being a white male uh is not a good thing. It's not a good thing, apparently.

SPEAKER_07

So um I never thought about that, but I can totally see what you're saying. Like you're not like a queer woman-owned business. I don't want to support you.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I never thought about that, but that I can I can absolutely pick up what you're putting down.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and it's uh it's almost like I was being discounted from the get-go.

SPEAKER_05

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Didn't have the right opportunity. Um but um as I started the years started to pass by in in this area, um, that's when the the symptoms of everything that I was experiencing started to really take hold of me. I was not able to eat things. Anytime I would eat, I would it would come right back up. I was severely underweight. I would I'm I'm like 5'10, so you know, short king, but you know.

SPEAKER_07

I don't consider 5'10 short.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, well, my dad was 6'3.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So I'm very upset. I didn't get that height. So we'll we'll just leave that there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Um did you feel any of these symptoms when you were traveling around in Southeast Asia, or it was just like became a lot more severe when you were back in the States?

SPEAKER_00

I did start to feel uh feel, but they were more subtle at the time. They were like, you know, I would start to get little arrhythmias here and there. I would start to get like a panicky thing out of nowhere. Um, and then I'm you know, I'll just be like, oh, I just need a ground. I just need a I need to go meditate. Yeah. I need to get the sickness out of me, whatever it is. I can I can meditate it out of me. I can think myself into health. Put some mango on the altar for whatever God's Yeah, I wouldn't for me, I would just I just need to sit in stillness for about two and a half hours and think of think of my body being healthy. And that and um so yeah. Um but after after things got to a point of no return, I was I was at a loss. I really was. I I didn't know where to turn, you know, I was going in and out of the hospital with no answer. They're like, no, you got IBS, you're good, just take this pill. Yeah. I'm like, no, like I'm I'm like I literally can't eat anything.

SPEAKER_07

They're like gaslighting you that it's something way less severe than it was.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and they're like, oh yeah, it's it's also your your anxiety is triggering the IBS, right? I'm just like, okay, whatever you're the you're the expert, right? At the time. I kind of subscribed, but I also knew about natural re remedies of you know hull um homeopathic medicine stuff, but I ne I still subscribed to the the allopathic at the time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, this was back in 2021, or I'm sorry, not 2021, 2019. 2019 in transition to 2020.

SPEAKER_07

And were you flying solo at this point, or you had met your now wife?

SPEAKER_00

Uh no. Uh I was starting to um talk to Alex at the time. Um, and we were starting we were starting, we had met a um a heart and tension circle where everybody gets in together and we sip on cacao and we talk about so what do you want to be when you get to spring? You know, like what do you want to be? What is your heart surrounding around? How do you want to what do you want to manifest, right? And we all sat in a circle and talked about what we wanted to do or where we wanted to be, and we like kind of channeled that to bring us into alignment with that. And I'm just like, you know, I was just there just to meet people and you know, it was a nice experience because I was a single male at the time. And um, so yeah. Um that's when I met had met Alex. Um, there were a few um Coral Lady events after the fact um that was just very odd. You know, I I went to a watering hole up Route 9, and um, you know, it's not a very it's not a well-known watering hole, but it is you have to go way out the way to get there. And there was one time where we just ran into each other. She was getting I was getting water, she was getting water, and we had a, you know, we just exchanged there. And but it was very platonic, very friendly. She had a boyfriend at the time. I was, you know, I wasn't even thinking about anything.

SPEAKER_07

So you were talking about your your health symptoms really escalating, and then I was just wondering if as I know that Alexandra herself has also had some health things, so I was wondering like where those overlapped and if you guys experienced that at the same time, or you had your journey with it, and then later you guys got together and Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh we were both uh experiencing that at the same time.

SPEAKER_07

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but pre pre Alexandra, um, I was having my own experience. We came together, and this is like a this is like a starting to become a crossroads moment um because I had a roommate at the time who was deeply involved in paganism. And that's a whole story, I tell you. Like during the transition of when I was moving out of that place is when I try to make a pact with God. I was like, because I didn't, as I said, I didn't know where to go. I had nowhere to turn, nobody was giving me answers. So I was like, who can? And I turned to Jesus at that time, just a just a ear note, we'll earn that, right? Because later on, something else happens. So I'm I'm on the ground and I'm just praying. I'm like, please, for the love, please, God. If you're real, because at that time I had no faith.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_00

I was just like, I was shooting the arrow in the dark. I was like, you know, if you can you could throw me a bone, this is someone listening to me. Right. So like, and so if you get me out of this mess, I'll be a devout. Follower of Christ and you and the the Father and um who are one.

SPEAKER_07

Because we're all one.

SPEAKER_00

Well, yeah, there's so many different convoluted ideas around that because that plays a role in the whole development of the person that I was becoming and who I am now. Um so long story short, God was showing up. God was showing up. Uh I met Alex and we started to engage more. We, you know, I left the current roommate situation who what turned into a very, very demonic um exiting.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

She went into like this sociopathic existential crisis, putting pentagrams everywhere, mirrors.

SPEAKER_05

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00

And yeah, it was quite um, I'm glad it that cord was cut. And um, and I ended up, you know, being with, you know, I lived with Alex at the time, and we had this like little shack on the side of the road. Um, it it got us through, and God showed up because things started to be better. Although my health didn't immediately change, there was gradual improvements. Like we were st I was still experiencing a lot of illness. I was still, you know, the improvements were life ex life experience improvements. Like I had I had somebody I could rely on. We were together. We ended up getting pregnant, you know. Well, she got pregnant because men can't get pregnant. News flash for anybody out there.

SPEAKER_07

Um and so I love having a trucer on the podcast. It's so good.

SPEAKER_00

We gotta draw the line in sand.

SPEAKER_07

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

We can't just be blind and complicit. Because you're with being being complicit, you're agreeing, you're coming into agreement with that, and that's not something I'm for.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm sure you're not.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, you're preaching to the choir, but I'm I hope you're also preaching to the people that are listening.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we can only hope that God is seeding, seeding something on their heart, yeah, and that they grow into uh somebody who can come on this this show and give away. Amen. I would love that. Amen. Right. Um so um life improvement was happening. Uh Amara was being was developing in the in the womb. So things were going better than before. You know, I had a I had a place to stay. Alex and I we were we just kind of got thrown into this belt together, right? Like, wow, we're we're having a child. You know, I was still having um issues with illness.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So there was a real moment in time where Alex and I, we we had to shift out of the place we were staying.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And we were looking for places. I was having these anxiety attacks, this panic sort of disassociated attacks where I could just had to go, I just had to go somewhere and just like sit and just like I felt horrible inside and out. Out yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

And um And you just you had no idea at the time like what the root of it could be or where, why, when that started happening, like if there was any particular reason, or it felt like this mystery thing that you just couldn't figure it out.

SPEAKER_00

I I you know, in the military we do a lot of things, and we're exposed to a lot of things that cause that. And so, yeah, 100% I'm just yeah, that's where that rooted from. And I'm gonna I'm gonna keep that there.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, just just for that purpose.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so things uh things were developing, you know. We were looking for a place to rent. Um, I couldn't be as much help as I wanted to be. I didn't have really have much of a job situation. Um, I I couldn't go into stores. And the big thing I'm trying to highlight in this moment of time is that Alex, I feel so bad, my heart goes out to her in this moment in time because she was giving birth to her, you know, she was on the verge of be giving birth to a child. We were looking for a place to stay. And on top of that, the father of her child was was like not even existent because he was dealing with health and dealing with the unknown of you know whether or not he's gonna make it out of this because she was she was directly walking with me and she saw what was happening. Yeah, she's she told me that the room smelled like death while we were sleeping.

SPEAKER_05

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And she I don't even know what that even meant at the time. I didn't even know like what is she smelling that smells like death.

SPEAKER_07

What like I took showers, yeah, you know, like I mean, I've definitely smelled people that are like fasting and detoxing, and I I'm just assuming it was something like that, but who knows?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Um, so I was just trying to get through it, you know. Um I ended up one day, I don't know where Alex and I were doing our thing, go to a farmer's market, and we ended up meeting a applied kinesiologist functional medicine doctor. And so, long story short, with that, we went on this health journey. We eliminated a lot of things from our diet, we started taking the right supplements and eating the right things. And I'll tell you what, if you have a parasitic infection or any sort of thing um going on with Lyme, like that is a evolution that's an evolution in and of itself because you go through these these like stages of of of progressive health. Um and I I have my own theories around parasites and and engineered weapons against humanity, but we don't have to go into what I think are, you know, you know, um, but there is there's definitely something around parasites and and biological weapons and things like that. But I will say that I did have parasitic infections. I had uh so many different things, you know. There's a laundry list that, you know, a lot that's kind of personal, yeah. But the the the real story is the fact that I was on death's door.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I and not only did I know that, but I felt that. And uh and Alexandra, she saw that as well.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So as we were um doing the right things, making the right decisions, um, things were getting better. You know, life was I was starting to experience health. I was able to go into grocery stores, I was able to sleep at night, eat. Wow, great human things that are a blessing. Amen to that, right? Because you don't know what you have until you lose it. And when you lose, you don't have it. So yeah, um, that's something to really be appreciative of that I think it's easy to lose sight of that that God has given us this blessing of this meal, of this time, of this moment, right? Because, you know, yeah, it is beautiful.

SPEAKER_07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

And so things were going good. And out of nowhere, it felt to me as if it was out of nowhere. Alex started reading the Bible. Hmm. And I was like, okay, you know.

SPEAKER_07

And she's in her motherhood. You guys have already birthed at this point.

SPEAKER_00

She's still in her in her pregnancy.

SPEAKER_07

Pregnancy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So that's end of 2020, going into 2021.

SPEAKER_07

So funny. I had the same thing happen at the same time when I was pregnant. I was like, I think I need to read the Bible.

SPEAKER_00

Wow.

SPEAKER_07

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think we had a similar change. I think you and her actually connected on that about right. I think so.

SPEAKER_07

God works in mysterious ways.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I think it's mysterious to humans because we can't possibly comprehend on the way that in which he works.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Let's be yeah, I don't know. That's just my thought around that. But things were going good. But I was very resistant to this whole idea of the Bible being in the home. I was at, I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna be one of those Bible thumpers and read the Bible. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna be one of those. And I was like, I identified at the time, like, I'm a Druid.

SPEAKER_02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

You know, like I, you know, I talked to you about my ancestry, and like I was like, I, you know, I feel connected to the earth, and I, you know, idolatry of the earth.

SPEAKER_07

You just lived with a pagan roommate before that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I was going to like land worshiping ceremonies, you know, and whatever else is happening outside of my art perception and people doing as illicit things. Well, yeah. So I I was very resistant and I didn't want to be a part of it. And that in that moment, if we can we can hear the fact that I turned my back on God in that moment. Um I thought my way is better. And, you know, he has helped me. If we, you know, take a step back and we remember when I spoke about I I sat with God and I asked, I pleaded on my knees on my mat. And I was like, please get me out of this mess. And it maybe didn't happen overnight, but gradual change. You know, I was having I have a stable stable job, I was have having a child, I was uh, you know, I I had help.

SPEAKER_07

If you met the right people.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's that's the hand of God showing up in my life. There is no coincidence, but there is cognitive dissidence to say that I can in control, you know, you may be able to take the steps, but God shall lead those steps so that you know that you are where you need to be. Um and so it was it was wild. Um go forward. Um I was it was annoying. This is the day that changed everything. Um uh Mara was born, and and then we were things were going good. Um I was breaking out of the health crisis and I had a stable job, and I went, I was just going to work. Normal thing. Normal thing. Um and then out of nowhere there was this sense of that everywhere, everything that has happened didn't exist. There was something that switched in my brain. Everything was backwards, everything was upside down. The wall, the the um pictures on the wall weren't they they swapped to different things. I was like in a completely different reality. I wasn't on drugs, I didn't I didn't do anything different that day. It was just a normal day. Everything turned upside down. I was at work, and at the time I was working with uh adolescents at a at a uh therapeutic boarding school.

SPEAKER_05

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

So suddenly I get this like fear of doom, like this impending doom feeling, this sense that came over me. Um it was something that I've never felt before. Um the all I felt was this was this pure sense of evil.

SPEAKER_05

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And there were seven of them know that because I can hear each distinct voice, and they came around me and they said, Your time is up, and they snarled and they laughed. And from that moment, I flipped out. I was like, like, but I'm at a boarding school, so I was just like, Oh my god, like what is happening? I I just want to emphasize like I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't drink, you know, I don't really do these things that kind of will alter alter a state of mind. Um so I I panicked, I was freaking out, I experienced everything that I've been has been built in me was suddenly no longer a thing. I was experiencing everything that I once experienced when I was on death's doorstep, and literally I was in that moment because I turned my back on God and his and our our promise, you know, and a lot of people don't realize, but God is a just God and God will discipline, He will. And for as especially somebody who's supposed to be a leader of a household, we answer directly to him. And and I was experiencing the the Ra.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I was experiencing what he can take away.

SPEAKER_07

His protection.

SPEAKER_00

His protection, but also seeing this evil in.

SPEAKER_07

Like it's not that he sent them, but that like he had his hand over you, and you're like, Oh, you wanna not follow? You don't want to read the Bible in the house, you're gonna turn your back.

SPEAKER_00

He let the dogs out.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And they came.

SPEAKER_07

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And I was panicking. I was flipping out. I was trying to like, I was like, I need to leave, I need to go now. I that's all I said to whoever I needed to talk to at the time. I got in the car, I'm dropping stuff, I'm and what you're seeing is still different, right?

SPEAKER_07

It's still altered.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like the color of houses different. Like the houses look different, the orientation of houses were different where things were originally because you know, I've been going to this job for quite a few months at the time. So it was like things were upside down, they weren't they weren't what they were. And so I'm sitting there just trying to get back to what I was expecting, get back to my life, right? That's what it felt like. I didn't have my life anymore. And then out of nowhere, I just say, I proclaim Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. And everything from that moment on, they they dissipated, they weren't there. My nervous system was still freaking out after that. Like I was like trying to eat food and drive and like trying to call somebody, and oh man. And I just clinged to Christ. I clinged to him. I I clinged in the moment that I knew that it was a moment, it was a crossroads. And it's funny because the house that Alex and I live in, there's a church right next door. And it's called the Crossroads Church. And it's just uh it's just a glance of time that like, you know, God has breadcrumbs. God, you know, he uh he's the grand knitter, right? Right. You know, there's threads and he's weaving them, you know. He in in their mother's womb, he weaves us, you know, and and there's still a story for everybody. Um for everybody. He has he has a plan, he has a story. Um that's always a rough story to talk about. It shakes you to the core, or at least, yeah, it shakes me to the core because it was such a real experience. Yeah. From that moment on I just cling to to Christ and and from that moment on, clinging to Christ, I my life has exploded in ways that I can possibly imagine. There's there's fruits in my life that are just the best fruits. They really are. They they have everything that you can possibly imagine. And it my life is bursting with life, and that's what he brings to anybody's life. For they if they choose to walk with him. And I I'm I've been changed from the inside out, and I'm still changing each day that I continue to decide because it's a daily decision. It's not just a all right, I chose you, God. Come on, we're doing this together. Um it's a walk, it's a it's a it's a struggle because we still toil with everything that we have going on internally. Um in whichever way that manifests, right? Um, and the the enemy is real. The enemy and his henchmen and principalities um in this particular area. I think there's a strong principality that every time I go into the town center, like I feel like anytime I get involved with anything, I can feel that that presence of of the henchmen, if you want to call it that. Um I had I just don't like going there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

How did how I'm so curious? Like, how did you know to saying I proclaim Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior? How did you even how was that even on the tip of your tongue in that moment?

SPEAKER_00

It's a good question. Well, I think at the time I just needed to I needed the direction, right? I needed I needed something that was outside of myself um to kind of come in and and write the wrong. And that's what Jesus Christ, his blood, does. You know, it writes it rights the wrong, but we need to be, we need to be proactive in those steps. It's not like you can choose that. I mean, a lot of that's a theological question that people are talking about. That oh, at the last moment, can they can they just proclaim that? I'm like, well, that's not for me to decide.

SPEAKER_07

Right.

SPEAKER_00

You know, you have to see where your life has been and where your heart has been, and with all the intentions that you have, and God is the the ultimate judge to be, we will be in front of. And we have no choice but to go there. And some of us will be ready, but also we're gonna have to m face the things that we didn't face, right? Like which I can only pray, hope and pray that his arms are open and he's like, Well done, son.

SPEAKER_07

I'm so grateful for you being willing to be vulnerable and yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think it was it was just something that highlighted the fact that growing up without a a father is like the true father in my life was cr was was God, you know, teaching me how to even be a a fatherly figure. Because I have no template of of that, right? So yeah.

SPEAKER_07

You've done a great job.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_07

You have such a beautiful family and you're leading them so well. And I notice that every time I'm around you guys, it's amazing. It's like you should be really proud. And and I yeah, I I wonder if you'd like to share any about that of like how how God, how Jesus has shown you to like really step into that role.

SPEAKER_00

Um well, it's not easy. Uh, and I want to highlight that for anybody who's interested to walking along. Um, because that life brings toil, it brings heart share. You know, we still have the we still live with, you know, the flesh that comes out sometimes. And but I um for me in particular, it's denying, it's denying myself, right? It's it's thinking about, well, I need to deny myself and take up my cross and and and walk with him. And you know, and that's it shows because the more that I do that, my actions follow. My actions follow the more that I lean on him, the more that I ask him to come in and change my heart, the more that I ask him to guide my words, which I'm still working on. I'm still working on. I I know that I I apologize to well, I want to apologize to Alex for, you know, my my shortcomings. Because I know I could be I can be a very uh hasty individual when things aren't, you know, in line with where where they need to be. And so growing into a better husband, growing into a better father is on my mind consistently because um there's a lot of pain in the world. And I think it's important that if I can model a better human in the world and the impact that they can. brain then I'm I'm I'm I'm doing the best that I can. Right. And we don't know the impact of that and how that the ripples it impact others from that. Um so yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah it's a beautiful thing for a child to grow up in a home with a loving parent who's providing for them and creating a safe a safe space for them to thrive and like your desire to really know them individually and um yeah help them to reach their potential is is beautiful. And I think you guys are doing a great job.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. I appreciate that it's it's nice to have an external um presence uh like you like a friend to to say hey you're doing good you know because sometimes excuse me sometimes you know you you have the covering of God but it's not always that he's over there patting you on the back. Yeah you know he's not always you know giving you a thumbs up right but you know things do happen to where you're like this is in line in alignment with his will so that's that's a good affirmation um but yeah um I do I do want to highlight the um as the closer that we come to to Christ it it feels as if the the enemy tries even harder to either put snares distract or try to um just get in try to get a foothold right try to get old cycle things that you have fallen for present them differently you know provide different opportunities to maybe influence you to make a bad decision um to um and that's a real thing and it it's all it's always a good thing to try to just cling cling to Christ right and get into the Bible and which is something I'm not very good at. I'm really not Alex is so much better than I am about the a reading of the Bible but I'm more on the relational side and and talking with God like internally that's that's where I feel like you know I have my relationship I and it's gotten me this far.

SPEAKER_07

You know it's gotten me this far but I do know that I need to be more devout in getting into my bottle you know praying more intentionally you know praying praying over my family more openly you know being robust about it and and proclaiming it rather than you know oh I'm just gonna say it inside you know yeah and uh so yeah it's so funny hearing you share that story of um being at work and like experiencing that dread and and evil and and then having this come literal come to Jesus experience of proclaiming and just yesterday when I was hanging out with your wife she obviously because we were gonna do this podcast today she she told me um that she came to Jesus um before and she was you know reading the Bible as you mentioned and wanting to incorporate it into your lives together and that she was met with resistance and like you said you didn't want to like yeah be read you're like I'm not gonna be one of those Bible dumpers or you know we're the Bible belt but that's not gonna be me which fast forward is kind of amusing you know yeah but this she said that when she was reading her Bible it told her you know wives if like if you are unequally yoked that the the move really instead of trying to shove it down your partner's throat or to like convince them is really to let go and let God and to pray for your pray for your partner and to um be the change like show your partner the fruits of you yourself cultivating a relationship with God. And so she realized that she needed to like zip it stop like pushing it on you and to to just pray for you and to cultivate in herself become more like Jesus and she said that since she started praying for you you had that experience just two weeks later. And so she's felt like really convicted of like that the Bible I mean the Bible is truth it tells it gives you the roadmap it tells you what to do and she saw the fruits of that so quickly not saying that that's necessarily what happens for everyone. Sometimes it could take more time you know not everyone has this like two weeks late I pray and then have an immediate gratification but um did you know that first of all and like if you knew that what was it like to later after coming to Christ hear that like your wife was praying for you and contending for you well I didn't really know what was going on at the time I was at the time when she was praying praying for me I didn't know she was actively praying for me.

SPEAKER_00

Um but I did know that she was she was in that that walk and she was trying to come closer to God. Um which there were subtle things at the time of her trying to be step into that which I didn't know what that looked like so it was hard for me to extrapolate what what the change was actively. I was just I just saw it as you know almost like a usurpation honestly um like well like we kind of got together in this whole and I thought we agreed in in in in the whole idea of oneness and all that. And and we're you know so it felt a little like she was trying to force pain but the fact that she prays for me you know God God moves and and I think that that's a why that was very wise of her to do that. Um because prayer it does a lot and people tend to just write it off but prayer moves and it it can change a lot you know I've seen I've seen it move in in many different ways that have catalyzed things and what was the second part of your question as well.

SPEAKER_07

What what was it like r realizing later after you came to the faith that you had a wife that was praying for you and how does that feel or how does that land?

SPEAKER_00

Well I'm thankful. You know I think I think that you know if we don't have that strong womanly presence to kind of counterbalance your the masculinity that God is bringing up in you that it needs to have an equal force almost and we all flux you know in where we're coming from and but I think that I'm just grateful that she was came to Christ and she wasn't really pushy um overall. She talked about the Bible but she didn't really um I think it it it had a a us uh it played a role it definitely did but I was I'm a very in my own mind kind of individual that will take information and make my own decisions uh regardless of what anybody tells me which is can be a benefit benefit but also hurt me in some ways um because I and I think that's something that's how that God has developed me as a human to He made me very resistant to illusion work made me very resistant to accepting the status quo and everybody's doing it so why aren't you all let's take a step back and think about this. Right? Let's let's actually you know critically think and I think that's a you know a slight gift that God can has given so um thank God but um something else I wanted to talk about was uh the fact that he prepares the feast in front of the enemy right and the that's the little last thing that I have wrote written here and I think it like it's like the cherry on top it's because there's so much happening in my life that I like good good and there's also turmoil in the good right there's like these crazy chaotic things that are that I'm experiencing inside of all these other things right half the time I kind of explained it to your husband um I explained it to him how it has been feeling for me and he he shared very similar feelings. It almost feels as if I have two ropes right and those ropes are attached to a lot of things right and that there's a lot of things going on in my life and it's all attached to my life right and sometimes I'm like trying to to reel it in or I'm trying to hold it and you know steer the horse in a way and sometimes one thing gets far up here so I have to tighten the rope on this end and then the other side kind of rolls out. But what I'm trying to get at is that I wouldn't be able to do these things without relent relying on Christ relying on God to strengthen me to to focus on me to help me prioritize and there's a lot of activity in my life and that's you know activity is you know it's good you know there's a lot of life from that and just highlighting the fact that he's preparing the feast in front of the enemy you know he's helping me he's helping me walk but if he's he's sh he's preparing the feast in front of the enemy like you're living in the world and you have all of these things going on.

SPEAKER_07

So is that in is that what you mean by in front of the enemy?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah like you have to be in the world on that of the world. Yeah exactly we're here but also there's a lot of fruit there's fruit you know right now I'm I'm making the most money that I've ever made and that is a a family poverty thing that that had a grip on me for a long time. You know there were moments where I only brought you know X amount of dollars which was I tell you it was less than 20 in a year.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I mean I was extreme poverty you know and um Alex you know walked with me through that and she's been a very uh helpful and supportive but also um helping me try to get on the right track and just which I I feel bad because you know she had to go through that because we were in that we were in that the trenches right yeah um it's cool to be able to like have the longevity of relationship to sit back and see that you've walked through all of these different things together and made it on the other side.

SPEAKER_07

I think in some ways it makes you appreciate it so much more.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah yeah I'm very grateful that we have the the time to look back on right and the memories and the and the tr the trials right because those trials are more ways to help us to get better and to evolve and to where God is leading.

SPEAKER_07

Amen to that well Lewis there's been so so much to your story so many different chapters and so many things that you've walked through and it's also really beautiful to see the way that you're able to explain it and the humbleness that you have and sharing where you were and where you are and whether it's you know thinking about speaking to like your younger self with the the wisdom and life experience and hindsight being 2020 or whether it's speaking to someone who's maybe listening to your story right now who is recognizing parts of themselves um some of the similar experiences that they've walked through and maybe they're maybe they've recently come to Christ or maybe they are not a believer yet or they're kind of on the edge is there anything that you'd like to share with that person um piece of wisdom or advice or just something that you've learned and realized that you think might be really helpful to them or to that younger version of yourself?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Don't be afraid uh don't be afraid to um to be real with yourself and to evaluate where your life is instead of just going through the motions of life I think it's uh it's very easy just to shove things down and just like go on with your day or go on with what's it what you have to do um don't be afraid to look at yourself in the mirror and and be like where is this going? Where is my life going? Is it producing fruit? What are what are the outcomes of it? Where is it going? How can I be a better person? You know do I want to be a better person? Question you know ask it you know find out investigate yourself and really make a decision and I would highly encourage I'm not gonna force Christ because that's not love. Um I I highly encourage anybody who's listening or wants to listen that that if you decide to go with Christ it would be the best decision of your entire life and then in fact in my opinion well I guess p opinion is not fact but in my life it is this fact is is that Christ is the way that I chose in my life hasn't been the same since yeah that's powerful.

SPEAKER_07

It's it's been a very clear like before and after depiction from death to life and having this rebirth and such a change in you and such a change in your relationship and in your family and the path has has been made clear and it's a really different one from the one that you walked before even just like your health you know how you feel on a day-to-day basis your vitality and and the fact that you're you're alive and well and once we're on your deathbed speaks volumes yes it definitely does and I thank you for just listening and and and then being being here to kind of just you know guide the conversation and investigate yourself and and and and have this podcast to to communicate to people and as you said um it's it's a literal before and after and and that goes it coincides with everything because your life will completely change for the better.

SPEAKER_00

It does and it may not be overnight it may be some people may experience more turmoil than others. But that doesn't mean you won't have fruits that doesn't mean that God won't show up because he does show up and it's real and it's happening every day and God will pave the way he really does and he'll he's he may not seem like he's there but he is and and I'm just grateful because that has happened in my life and I just want to reiterate it has happened and is real in my life and when you can see all these people who profess the name of Christ and they're up in arms and they're dancing and they're rejoicing that comes from somewhere and it's not just an imaginary thing. Right. He has changed he just changed their life he made an impact on their life and that has affected them to rejoice right and I'm one of those people and so for me to sit here and say that everything I'm saying is untrue why would I waste my time you know for for anybody who is listening and who who's on the fence maybe these things are real and they are happening and it's happening around you whether you like it or not. And I hope that the enemy or his stronghold sees sees this and prepare for war. Mm-hmm I love that we need to have more of that on the podcast bringing the warrior spirit I'm just I'm just over it you know because there's so much of this world you know there's just so much pain in the world and and God has given me the the ad the sight of you know of seeing that pain and seeing the suffering and and he he has gifted a lot of people like that. And um so with that knowledge we can start to cultivate these relationships these practices of coming to Christ I mean he's the only way through it through the fog through the through this war because it is becoming more apparent every single day that we're in this world right more and more apparent with all the ideologies and all the the wars right now and and the the chronological events that are taking place um the infrastructure that's being set up with the technocrats and smart cities um people don't realize that this is an infrastructure and and it's it's real and uh it's being played out every single day and um to so prepare your house you know and keep your oil and your lantern right um so yeah I agree with you it there's a lot of darkness in the world and it's really important to cling to that light and be guided by the Holy Spirit you know it's like really the only way if you we're gonna make it out of this I agree. Well Lewis I wonder if you would like to close us out in prayer if you're inviting me I'm inviting you okay I will pray our father who art in heaven we just want to thank you for this day thank you for this opportunity to to talk about what you have done in in my life and what you can do for others' lives um Lord we just we just want to hone in on the fact that you are real you're alive and well that you're you are moving in ways that we cannot see or know but Lord we we know that you're there um we we feel you every day we we send praises to your name and we just thank you we just thank you for just the discipleship that you have given and we just thank you for all the love that you have given it just uh I'm just thinking about all the things you know I'm just thinking about all the whole life that I've that I've had and it's hard for me to jump out of that. Um Lord Jesus I just pray for the individuals like uh Forrest here and and her family I pray your your blessing and coverage over them and whatever's coming in in the next month or so Lord I pray that your hand be over that um guiding and and protecting and um ensuring that their efforts are not without that you you have a plan and you you are going to show up for them Lord and but most of all that your will be done. Lord I also pray for anybody who is watching this that made it this far hearing about my story amen to that person because I don't know I probably would have I probably would have been like all right dude but no um just thank you for whoever decided to stay this long and we pray for them uh we pray that whatever they're going through Lord that you you unpack their heart you know and and you you see what clothes they have what garments they are wearing whether that be uh pain uh uh uh self-harm or or they're they're they're just needing help with something Lord that you're you're with them and you're able to help them um you're that you're guiding them in their in their in their walk wherever that may be and that that they have they have a a a sense of your spirit next to them that they want to be drawn near to you that they want to they want to know who you are and that and that you just present yourself in a way that makes it infallible that Lord that you are are just present and and can just change them Lord we just pray for that change in their heart that they will come to you because you are the way the truth and the life and we just know that um That you're you're so willing, you're a loving God, you're and you're a proactive God that shows up for for those who want to be with you. You love them and and it is a walk. Um and we must take those steps. So we just thank you, Lord, and forced if you would like to add on.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Lord, I lift up Lewis to you. It takes a lot of vulnerability and a lot of courage to to speak boldly and and to share, to share our testimony and to share our our life story and be willing for for others to see and hear. And I thank you that you have given Lewis this boldness and this courage and the vulnerability and willingness to be so raw and so real and authentic. And I thank you for the this the testimony that you've created in his life. I thank you for the path that you've laid before him. I thank you for the wisdom that he's gleaned from the things that he's experienced. I thank you for the father that he is and the husband that he is and the friend that he is and the son that he is to you and to his mother. Um, I want to lift up his mother to you as well and his wife and children. And I pray your your abundant provision, protection, and blessings upon them. And as Lewis said, I pray that this testimony falls on open, open-minded, open-hearted, um, and willing ears, eyes, and hearts. And I pray that the people that are meant to hear this message do. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, thank you so much. And I pray all of these things in the mighty and powerful name of Jesus Yeshua. Amen. Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_03

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_07

You're welcome. If this story stirred something in you, don't ignore it. These testimonies aren't just stories, they're invitations. And in our next episode, you're going to hear a very different journey from trauma, addiction, Jezebel spirit, and deep brokenness to healing, motherhood, ministry, and walking with God for over two decades. We have a seasoned Christian joining us, and Catherine is going to share her story, which is raw, redemptive, and incredibly powerful. If you've ever wondered if God can restore what feels completely lost, you're not going to want to miss it. I'll see you in the next episode. If this testimony stayed with you, the most helpful thing you can do to support our podcast is follow or subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. That tells the platform that this story mattered. If you don't want to miss future testimonies, you can also join our email list. The link is in the description below. That's where I'll let you know when new stories are released and how this project continues to unfold. And if you know one person who's been spiritually searching or questioning the new age, I invite you to send this episode directly to them. If you feel called to share your own testimony, you'll find a link for that in the show notes as well. Thank you so much for being here. I am praying these stories reach the people who need to hear them.

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Forest Soleil

Host