10. Women supporting women and not diminishing ourselves

In this episode, we are talking about something many women do without even realising it. Downplaying our wins.

Whether it is brushing off a compliment, minimising an achievement or quickly shifting the spotlight away from ourselves, so many women have been conditioned to make their successes feel smaller than they really are. We explore why this happens and why it is time to start celebrating our progress without apology.

We also chat about the importance of women supporting other women in business and creating spaces where achievements are recognised rather than quietly brushed aside. Because when one woman owns her success, it gives others permission to do the same.

At the start of the episode, we also share a little life and business update. Flick talks about her recent experience speaking at the Wolverhampton International Women’s Day Conference, while Verity shares what she has been working on delivering diversity, inclusion and equality training.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Wildly Intentional, the podcast for business owners who refuse to play small.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

This is where we have bold talk, honest conversations, and dig into what it really takes to create big breakthroughs in business and life. And we're here to share the lessons, the mindset shifts, and the unapologetic decisions that helped us to level up.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

So if you're ambitious, growth focused, and ready to do business on your own terms. Think you're in the right place. Let's get wildly intentional. Morning. Morning everyone. Hello, hello. We say morning, and then it's like, oh, people could listen to this in the afternoon or evening. Yeah. So we've said that several times.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

We did this before, didn't we? Truman, the Truman Show had good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whatever. Whenever you're listening, hello. Hi.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

How are you doing? Yeah, I'm not bad. I'm not bad. I've had, you know, just come back off holiday. I know, I haven't seen you for ages. We've had a bit of a break. Well, the the week before my holiday, I completely lost my voice, which was just before I had a you know a massive speaking gig, which was just like, oh my god, the panic that set in. So yeah, I cancelled our podcast recording session because I was like, I need to save my voice for the conference.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

I know, just so the listeners know, I totally got deprioritized at that point. You know, it's all good. It's all good. Can we talk about that for a minute? Just to like, you know, let's do a bit of flick promotion. Let's talk about how it went. How did it go? Because that was a huge thing for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

It was amazing. It really, really was. So, you know, I talk about um imposter syndrome and how it affects when we show up online, and you know, how we can we can fight imposter syndrome to to show up as our authentic selves. Um, I share a little bit of a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

You said that word you hate.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

I know, I know. And I'm I'm embracing it. I'm embracing it because we need to, we need to embrace we do need to embrace authenticity, but it's just it's overused. And that's that's the thing because I don't hate the word, it's just it's overused.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Um, but yeah, so to really inspire people, you know, I tell them a bit about my story and the fact that, you know, I shared possibly the worst day of my life on the day of my life I shared it on social media, um, and how that, you know, all that implications and how that actually affected my business, which it affected it in a really positive way. Um, so yeah, I had at one point I had like a queue of women who were lining up to hug me and tell me their stories and how much my story had resonated with them. So um that was absolutely wonderful. And like how I didn't cry with some of the stories that people were telling me um with their with their miscarriages and and stuff. And um, that was that was really quite emotional. And then um, you know, the rest of the day was fantastic with some other fantastic women speakers and panels and things like that. Um, and I was I was quite humbled by the fact that throughout the rest of the day it seemed like everybody seemed to reference my speech and my talk um when they were delivering theirs and the panels and things like that. And so I'm like, well, it obviously hit home and and lots of people got some really good takeaways. Um so it was the International Women's Day uh conference over in Wolverhampton. I should probably tell you what which event it was that I spoke at. Um so yeah, so it was you know, it was all about women in power and women, but we had we had some allies in the audience as well. Um, you know, it wasn't just a women-only attendance, there were some men, there were some uh people who, you know, non-binary people who um yeah, just really supportive atmosphere, supportive room, and and the speech went down really well. So so many people have you know, thanked me. And I've seen some of the photos as well that have come out, the professional photos, just waiting on the video so that I can chop that up and start using that in some content for myself as well.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

I'm so proud of you. It's like you just embracing the stage at the minute, and you're doing so well and you're getting such amazing feedback.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Yeah, it's it's something that I didn't I didn't really anticipate when I started the business the fact that I was gonna want to do that, but now I am fully, you know, on stage. Yeah. But you know, I'll teach and I'll coach and so I'll constantly talk in front of people, you know. We now host podcasts. So we you know, talking to people and inspiring them is kind of what I do. So it's it's sort of that natural progression for me to to go on to stages and go and talk, you know, in front of people like that. Um and I don't know why. I it never entered my mind that that would be a thing that I would do, but now that it is, I'm like, when's the next one? Like, you know, want the next one now.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Amazing, amazing. Um, I'm gonna give a heads up because actually what you're talking about leads us really nicely into what we're talking about today. Um, but just a heads up to everybody, I do have a chesty thing. I am trying trying to resist the urge to cough at the minute, but I am gonna cough throughout this. I'm not gonna apologize for it. It is what it is. You know, we show up. I've our authentic selves. So it is what it is today. Um, but actually, what you're saying is leading us really nicely into um our topic today, and it's about celebrating your wins without downplaying them, which is what we do as particularly. So I'm really sorry for any other gender that's listening to this because today apologized. I did apologize, I did, oh gosh.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

We're not apologizing to any other gender. No, no, we're not apologizing.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

We're saying just put up with it because today is about it's about the ghillies, I think. Because you know, we've just had International Women's Day, we've just had Mother's Day, and I know this is going out a couple of weeks after that, but this is kind of where we are right now. So let's celebrate the women in our lives or those who um who live as women, and what you just said was amazing because you know, we do need to celebrate that for you. That was a huge achievement, but as women, we don't, do we?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

We're really and even when I was talking, I could feel myself, and I was like, you know, I could feel myself getting a bit blasé about it of like, oh yeah, well, it was really good, and yeah, I don't really want to talk about it because I want to shy away from the fact that I did this amazing thing, and I could feel that in myself, but I was like, no, I am flick, hear me roar. Like this is you know, this is what we constantly do. Animal reference. Exactly. Um, you know, we constantly sort of downplay ourselves and kind of shrink ourselves into these little boxes, and we talked about that, you know, in the ADHD rep um episode as well, episode seven, um, where we're constantly shrinking and masking, and it's like, well, no, no, we we shouldn't be doing that, and as much as I hate the word should, um, but this is an achievement. I have done this thing, I have done this amazing thing. I have inspired women. I've you know, I've had people come up to me, complete strangers telling me like, you know, their stories, which was just amazing. And the fact that my story gave them the confidence and the the uh inclination to be able to do that, to come and share with a relative stranger. Um, that was just truly magical. Um, you know, amazing doesn't even cover it. It was, you know, and I shouldn't I shouldn't be shrinking about that. I need to need to embrace that, and we all need to embrace that and just go, yeah, I've done this amazing thing.

unknown 7:22

Look at me.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

I wonder why we do though. I don't know whether it's maybe it is like a neurodivergent thing, or maybe it's just that we've kind of especially people of I'm gonna say my generation rather than your generation because you are younger. Um, but you know, we kind of grew up in the the last leg of children should be seen and not heard, and women should, you know. I'm not in the kitchen sink generation, obviously. I'm really not that old, but I am of the, you know, my father was very, I don't like to talk to him very about him very often because, you know, let's face it, he was, I'm gonna say, an asshole. Um, but he was very much, you know, women are that there's a place for women, but men are the ones that bring in the income and they, you know, I wasn't allowed to talk as a child. It was very much my voice was very quiet and down. And I wonder if a lot of people have it kind of experienced that, or when they're going through that life, they're told, you know, we can't be too much, we can't be too loud, we can't do this, we can't do that. And actually, it's really you just said, you know, I'm flick, hear me roar. And actually, women should be, especially now at a time where being a woman is a very vulnerable place to be, I think, in the the way society is going and the way politics are going and the way people are being talked about. I just think that women should be standing up and roaring like hell. Because let's face it, if there was women at the top of power right now, none of this shit would be, oh, it's all none of this stuff would be happening. Um, but you know, I just I think we spent our lives kind of suppressing our voices. And then when we go into business, it's we've got those, oh, do you really want to do that? And don't you think you should get a real job? And you got all that criticism coming in, it all just kind of knocks your confidence down a little bit more. So when we have wins and we do things that should be celebrated, no offense, but a man would be out there, it's like, look at me on the stage, look at what I did, and we're going, oh, I did this thing for International Woman's Day, and it was really good, and it was lovely to hear all the feedback. And actually, it's I got on that stage, look what I did. I was fierce that day, but we're terrified of it. And from a social media perspective, sorry, I know you're about to talk then. You know, I heard it for years. Sorry, yeah, god, yeah. Anyway, moving on. Um, you know, we hear it all the time where people don't want to shout about their wins on social media because they're terrified they're gonna be seen as bragging or it's gonna be, you know, really big-headed and all that kind of thing. And it's it's like, come on, we're grown-ups, we should be. How do people know how good we are at our job if we do not celebrate the good things we do in our job?

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I came to even, you know, when I was choosing my walk-on song, and I I I looked and I looked for ages of like songs that really resonated with my speech and what I was talking about, um, that were by female artists because it was International Women's Day, and I really wanted to champion women and and things like that. Did you go Katie Perry? Uh no, I did not because it's not really my style of music as well. Because that was the other thing, is I wanted it to be sort of my rocky kind of genre, kind of alternative music. Because I was like, well, I can find songs that will do that, but I'm like, they're not gonna pump me up as well, because they're not my kind of music. And I narrowed it down to two songs, and one of them's called Headstrong, um, and I forget the name of the band that it's from, um, but the the lyrics are Headstrong, I'll take you on, Headstrong, you know, I'll I'm gonna show up, kind of thing. And I I ran this past uh my husband Rob and you know, we're talking about what music should be my walk on music. Um, and I got it between Headstrong and Fallout Boys Champion. And again, the the lyrics of Champion are if I can live through this, then I can do anything. Like, you know, looking at the the worst day of your life and going, actually, if I can live through that, I can do anything, like nothing's gonna hold me back. And like I said, the the two songs were really much they were they were speaking to me. And Rob just turned around and went, is headstrong right? Because if a headstrong woman is seen as a negative thing, and I was like, I sort of sat there and kind of was like, Oh, is it is it still a negative thing to be a headstrong woman? You know, it's like and I was like, Oh, and it just sat with me of going, like, you know, we still see headstrong women as like this negative thing of like because they're a force to be reckoned with, and it's like, oh, and I did actually go with champion because I was like, I don't I don't want it to come across as con the wrong connotation of the fact that I'm going, well, I'm headstrong and I'm gonna take on anything in a really aggressive way.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

And actually, coming from your husband, who you know, we know is not in any way, would it never put women down? He doesn't see live like that at all. But the fact that that came out of his mouth, I took an in-break, take a breath then, and then thought, actually, he's right, he's right.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

That's he didn't want to put my audience off because there is still that connotation, and he was like, Is that song gonna instantly jar people to what you're then gonna talk about and talking about your miscarriage and talking about that story? Is that gonna peep put people off because they've not gelled with that song in the way that you intended it? Um so yeah, so we went with with with the champion because it did fit with that, and I just sort of said that, and I was like, Yeah, because you know, we still as a society go like, oh, headstrong women, oof, oh that's that's that's against the norm, that's not right. But actually it is because a headstrong man is is fine, he's successful, you know, he's an entrepreneur, he's he's brilliant, but a headstrong woman, oh that's that's aggressive, that's negative connotations, but it's the same descriptive word for male or female. It is, it is or non-binary, you know, a headstrong non-binary person. I don't know what the connotation is for a headstrong, non non-binary person.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I don't know where to go from there because it's just you're right, that is exactly what I mean. If my husband said that to me, I'd just laugh in his face. But you know, it's just the fact that Rob said that means that that's a consideration. It is a consideration that people are going to perceive you in a certain way. And I think you just nailed it. There's the problem, right there. That's the problem. But it's sad, isn't it? I mean, we just we should celebrate. We should, you know, that's just really throw me. That's really throwing. I don't know what I'm feeling now. I don't know whether I'm really angry or I'm really sad. I don't know what I'm feeling. It's just like that this isn't where it was going this morning. I was getting really excited about talking about tower tribe wins and you know, where we used to celebrate each other, even little wins. But let yeah, let's still go there. But it is, it's right. Come on, like girls, come on, enough's enough. We can't put up with this.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

This is just and you know the the post that I was seeing yesterday for Mother's Day and like the amount of women that were saying, like, you know, how strong my mum is, and she's faced this and she's done that, and you know, my mum's the best, and all this kind of all these posts on social media, which are absolutely wonderful, and I loved reading them all. And I'm like, you know, we we've got some really blooming strong women in this country, in this world, and yet we still go, oh, if they're a headstrong woman, that they're they're negative. But yeah, so where you're sitting right now, I was sat right right there while I was trying to decide on my my walk on music because it was a well, I do want to say that I'm headstrong. I do want to say that, yeah, I've I've I've faced this and I've I've challenged it head on, you know, that like there shouldn't be a negative thing about saying that I'm a headstrong woman. Absolutely not, but there is still that perception.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

It is perception, and it's it's the wrong perception, 100%. We we just need to we absolutely need to fight against that perception. We're still and it shows we're still not there, doesn't it? We're going into a totally different topic here, but it does. It shows we're still not, you know, we've got all this stuff going out at the minute. We did say life and business, and let it just go where it goes. Um we've got all this stuff kind of going out on social media and in politics at the minute, and what's happening in America and the potential of it coming here. And whilst, you know, we'll sit neutrally, I won't sit neutrally, I'll never sit neutrally, but on this show we'll pretend to be neutral. Um you know they could come out it the conversations that are happening, like there's comments on social media about going to war and all these women that wanted equal rights, you know, are they gonna be stepping up to go on the front line? Well, sunshine, we are on the front line, you know. There are many women who are on the front line right now, and we were, by the way, in World War II and World War One. So it's it's a mute argument, but there is still that, you know, if women want equal rights, why can't we have equal rights? We're all human beings. What has our gender got to do with any of it? We are human beings.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

You I was I was watching a reel um the other day, and it was um it was really quite powerful, actually. I sent it to quite a few of my male friends, um, but it came out from International Women's Day, and it was um, you know, CEOs of some really big companies and and really successful, and they were men, but they were being asked in this interview questions that are asked of women, of like, you know, do you do you think your partner um is proud of your success? You know, like um, where does your success fit in with your family traditions? Um, do you think the fact that you've earned the right to the success because you because you are a man? You know, and they phrased it the right way. And like you could see that these these men, these CEOs were going like, what has this got to do with anything? Why am I being asked this? And they were sat really uncomfortable. Um, and obviously at the end of it, they were then asked, like, how did it make them feel that that these were the questions that were being asked of them? And they were like, it was really uncomfortable, it didn't make it. And it's like, but these are still questions that are asked of women in interviews, of of you know, it's like, well, which is often makes us shrink away from going for those big jobs. And I think the the statistics are is something like if a man when when job searching and and you know looking for employment and things like that, if a man feels that he meets 20% of the criteria, he will apply for that job, but a woman will still not apply for it even if she meets 80% of the criteria that they're looking for, because we know we're then going to be faced with these sorts of questions in the interview of of what it is, and it's so wrong. We have really gone off topic.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

We are really, but let's go with it. Um, because it's quite a relevant topic for the world we're living in right now. And actually, you put something out months and months ago that I now use because I'm training in corporate environments, so I'm seeing my speciality topic is equality, diversity, and inclusion, which the neurodiversity comes into that as well, but it's equality. Um and we use case studies all the time. And I actually picked up from you a case study to use, and I use it in every single trade um training now, and it's and we're talking about the kind of where it sits in terms of equality and how it should be dealt with. And the example was when the Women's World Cup, when they won the World Cup, and the captain of the Women's World Cup was interviewed by a female journalist on TV, and she'd been really open on social media about how she was feeling quite guilty, she's been away from her family a lot, she talks about her children, and the reporter felt it necessary to say, does this win? They'd won the World Cup. Did this win negate all the guilt you were feeling about being away from your children? And when I put that out in the classroom, it is always an intake of breath, a shock. It's like, why would somebody say that? And it's always when I drill down and I say, why is that not appropriate? Why was it not okay? And every single time they say, because they'd never ask a man that question, ever.

unknown 19:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

And it absolutely took away from her win. All the achievement that she'd done, all that hard work, the reason she was away from her family in the first place, and men are away from their families all the time, by the way. Yeah, all the her achievements just got completely crashed and smashed in that one question. And I always say, you know, how should it have been handled from her employers? And every single time everybody feels it should be absolutely, you know, down the disciplinary route, because it was completely inappropriate. Even if a male captain of the world rugby team had been open on social media by missing his kids, he still would never have been asked that question. And this, by the way, for anybody who's listening who's not um identifying as a woman, this is the reason we don't celebrate our wins as much as men do. This is where it comes from. Society today.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Whereas you'll literally see, like, you know, men who who do win in sports and things like that. Now, I'm gonna be honest here, Verity, I have not yet caught up with the rugby, so please do not spoil any rugby with me right now because I was on holiday last week and yeah, so the week before I was sort of packing and and the conference and everything else. So please don't spoil any rugby.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Can I just say though, just just going off topic quickly, um, and it won't give anything away. Given the last time we talked about the the Six Nations and how disappointed I was in the Welsh men's six nations, can we just men's six nations, yeah. Men's Six Nations. Um, we did we did improve. I'm quite proud of the Welsh team now. You know, we we kind of showed up after that England game, so we're all good.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Anyway, but yeah, even that is the fact that I had to stop you to clarify that we are watching the men's six nations because the the women's doesn't get as much, I mean it's getting better coverage now, but the women's six nations, and even to the point where you know we could quite happily say, oh, the six nations rugby, and you and I know the fact that we're talking about the men's six nations, but if we were talking about the women's, we would clarify the fact that we were talking about the women's, and we are now getting better at actually clarifying that we're watching men's football or women's football, or you know, um, and of completely oh yeah. So um talking about the children with with sporting things is the fact that I've seen in certain circumstances where you know you've got male um sports persons of one thing and they've got their little child and they're holding them on the hip or on their shoulder or whatever, and they're walking around and waving to the crowds and stuff like that. And it's still not brought up about the fact that, you know, are you are you happy to be away from your child because you're training so much and because you're you know, they've literally got the child there. Whereas, yeah, and by all means, if anybody has not seen that clip, I'm sure it's available on YouTube, but it's just that shock horror of you know, it I still to this, I can't believe the fact that a female reporter asked that question, whether it was scripted or not for her to do so. Like, why did she not challenge that and go, This is not okay? This is not okay for me to ask that question.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

And I'm sure, you know, and we talk about this in the classroom as well. I'm sure um that. The female reporter was probably coming from an empathetic viewpoint. She was probably trying to relate to it. But you know, then we bring in intent versus impact. And just because the intent was kind of good doesn't mean the impact. But all of the women out there watching it wasn't still that powerful. It should never have been asked in the first place. It's just a ridiculous question. But that's the society we live in. And that is why I feel like we're regressing massively as women and we're going backwards and we're having to fight again for ourselves and our rights. And we just, it just shouldn't be like that. Gender, somebody put a quote out yesterday, and I thought, you know, you can talk all day long about the different genders out there and how people are identifying now. And I just, you know, I kind of come from the viewpoint of just live and let live. If somebody's happy, let them be happy. Why is it a problem? But okay. Um, but somebody said, you know, that equality should never be about what somebody's gender is. Equality is about being part of the human race. We are human beings, regardless of what we identify as or what we say we're born as or anything else. It is men, women, non-binary, whatever you want to be, we're all part of the human race. So why should any of us dull ourselves down? Why should any of us not have the same rights as somebody else? Because we're the fairer sex. And for those who don't, who can't see this because you won't, because it's a video, I did do that in averted quotes. Um, but you know, it's just it's just ridiculous. I just, yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Well, I mean, what you said with intent versus impact. Um, so as you know, you know, I I work at beer festivals and I I and I remember this story so so vividly. And we were setting up Grantham um beer festivals, my local one, which I'm now the festival organiser, but at the time of this story, I wasn't, you know, oh, I nearly said I was just, and I don't like just before any kind of job role. But so I got along to volunteer and we were setting up and we were moving casks of beer. Now, um a Furkin is approximately 72 pints of beer inside of an aluminium sort of metal or they can be plastic kind of case. They are quite heavy. And we were moving them from one side of our church to the other. And I was the only female in attendance who was helping that day, and you know, we were moving these casks from one side of the church to the other, and one of the other volunteers came up to me and said, Oh, do you need a hand with that flick? And they literally stopped where I was, you know, moving this cask and stood on it like full Captain Morgan kind of pose of like foot on the the you know the barrel-shaped um turkin. And I said, Well, that depends. And you he sort of looked at me and went, What? And I was like, Are you asking me because I'm the only female here? Are you asking me because I look like I'm struggling, or are you genuinely asking me because I have a job that I'm doing and you don't have a job, and you're asking me if I need any help with the job that I'm doing to be supportive? And this guy, you could see his face of like the absolute horror, his eyes were popping and going, and he just went, Whichever one doesn't get me in trouble. Because he wasn't asking us that, that sexist kind of thing, but it was just that he'd made a beeline for me. There were other people who were working, there were other people who were lifting things that were heavy, but he came up to me and said, Do you need a hand with that flick? And he was probably doing it, you know, his his intent was to be helpful and to be friendly and that kind of thing. But which is why I clarified because the impact could have been seen by other people of the fact that well, he's gone to the woman because she's she's lifting things, and and women should not be lifting things, and and women can't lift as much as men, um, and that kind of thing. And it's like it's like that clarification. It was just the way his face in horror went, whichever one doesn't get me in trouble, because he hadn't quite realized that his the impact, you know, his intent was you know to be helpful and friendly, but the impact could have been seen that way.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

It's just it's all messed up, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 25:49

We just need to kind of we we just we're all why aren't we oh I don't know it it brings me back to the the the trending audio that again was on um Instagram like months ago, possibly even years ago now. And it was like we've never expected any other animal in the animal kingdom to to be lesser because they're female. It's like can you imagine, like you know, oh Larry got attacked by a girl shark, like girl sharks be crazy. Can you imagine? Maybe she was on a period, that's why she took a bite out of Larry's thigh, kind of thing. And it's like we wouldn't do that with the animal kingdom. Why do we do that with the human race? We are at our base level, we are actually animals, we're not, you know, we're not trees, we're not fauna, we are animals.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Why do we oh and also men, just you know, I'm gonna give you a big, big hint in life here. If you ever say to a woman, are you on your period? or is it that time of month? You are just asking for anything that comes your way. I'm just saying it.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

Can you can you imagine if we ever said that to a man of like, oh, is this your time of the month?

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Yeah, is it is this your time of month? Is this your midlife crisis? Is that is that is that what this is?

SPEAKER_00 26:59

That's what's going on. Are you are you are you reacting to this because of you know, because the the moon's in whatever phase it wants to be in, or you know?

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Maybe I'm reacting because you'd be in a pillak. Have you ever thought of that? Oh well, this definitely went off topic. Um, I don't know whether we should bring it back really or whether we should just kind of let it be a bit of a feminism episode and just you know, just have a bit of a rant about how we're not but yeah, but showing up, but celebrating your wins, but saying you are you are doing amazing things, women who are listening to this.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

And men, like you know, there are men who shrink ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

We're all doing amazing things. But it's just we just don't need to shrink ourselves. We don't, girls, women, you know, identify it as women, whoever you are, don't put yourselves down or be scared of sharing your wins.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Or allow a man to or allow somebody else to put you down. Like if somebody else wants to come up, you know, if you've won a business award or you've won an award or you've you've run a marathon or whatever it is that you've done, and like if somebody comes into your comments or or sends you a message and going, Yeah, but you didn't cure cancer though, did you? Like, just just just tell them to go away. I'm trying not to swear. No, I didn't already cure cancer.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

I I did this, but you know, I I don't know where you've got them like yourself.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Yeah. It's like, oh, well, you know, you ran a 10k. Well, I ran a marathon three years ago. Well, crack on love. Like you've you've you've done yours. Let me celebrate mine because this is an achievement for me. This is this is what I'm doing. And you know, you are your the only competition is yourself, yeah. When it when it comes to a lot of things, it's like you know, celebrate your achievement because you've you've done something that other people haven't, or other people can't, or other people don't want to do. Yeah, like that doesn't diminish your achievement, your your celebration.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

Absolutely not. And we used to do it, didn't we? Like in the tribe, we were really passionate about that Friday morning. It was always like, share your wins. Doesn't matter what it is. If it was that you just got out of bed when you didn't feel like it, it's a win because you went to work. I've washed my hair.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

I felt like that, and I've washed my hair.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

And I would say as well that you don't have to always go out publicly and share your wins. You know, this is why it's really important, and I think this will lead us to next week's topic because this was nearly this week's topic about having a community and having that support network around you. Just surround yourself with people where you can just message them and say, I did this today, it's not a big deal, but it was big to me. And that's celebrating a win, never be afraid, just don't shrink yourself. And no, you know, a man would never say, Oh, I wash my hair today, because you know that's a girly thing to say. Well, we are still women and we are allowed to say that. And you know, we can have it both ways, actually. Thanks, boys. Just saying. Um, but you know, just celebrate those little wins. It's it's just celebrate yourself, celebrate, you're doing a great job.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

And that's one of the things I do love about my my business coach is the fact that we do have like every week that I catch up with my business coach and it'll go and it's like, right, celebrate your wins, and then then tell me what you were struggling with. But we always start with that positive, it's always that sort of bathtub effect, um, which is something that I think my husband uses all the time. It's like you start at the top, then you look at the bottom, then you bring yourself back up.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

It's like oh, I just I just do the the the sandwich.

unknown 30:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Can you imagine the shape of a bathtub? Like you've got the the side on the wall, then you go down and then you go back up. Um but yeah, so we always celebrate our wins, and sometimes the wins are is the fact that you know, do you know what? This week I got all of the work that I needed to do for my clients done. Because actually this week was a really hard week, but it's it's a win in itself, and I'll celebrate you know, small wins, big wins with with somebody you trust, somebody you know is is gonna support you.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, my message of the week, my uh it's been a while now, so you know Wednesday wild words of wisdom. Wednesday wild words words of wisdom. Wednesday wild words of wisdom are don't shrink for anybody. We don't need to shrink, we don't, we need to be more out there, we need to be, especially right now, we need to be standing up and letting our voices roar. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

And the right, the right people will, you know, it's all about straightening, straightening each other's crowns, not yeah, not knocking it off the heads, like you know.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Absolutely. I'm actually loving right now, just to you know, to end with this. If you like, TikTok right now is going through a bit of a trend with female um influencers who are biting back on all the negativity, on all the trolls, and they're doing kind of really condescending videos back at all the trolls. And by the way, on female influences videos, it is always male trolls, always, very rare. It's a woman, and if it is a woman, be ashamed of yourself. We should be lifting each other up, holding each other's crowns and all that. Um, but they're biting back and they're saying this isn't okay, actually. You know, this yeah, you can't say this is not okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

One of the influencers that I follow, uh Sami Jeff Coates says she's a fashion influencer, which is really alternative and really gothy and stuff like that. And I absolutely love her. And she's covered in tattoos, and one of the comments that she often gets is something like, Oh, it's a great outfit, pity about the tattoos, like ruining it, and things like that. And she replies with another video back to that comment, and she looks as though she's reading it. But what she does is she just twists it around, she's like, I love your sense of style, please show me more. Okay, then because every time somebody then interacts with that video, the troll is gonna get a notification of like how many people love it, how many people comment on it, how many people. And I was like, Do you know what? Having the power and the the confidence to do that, I'm like, I celebrate that absolutely for her. Um, because when the first time she did it, I I imagine she must have had that kind of like, oh my god, I'm gonna be doing this, but no, I'm gonna be this is me, this is who I am, this is what I say about it on my channel. Um, and she's fantastic for that. I just love the way that she comments back to those sort of troll comments and goes, you know what, I'm gonna show you more of what you don't like because this is me, this is who I am. I am living, you know, my life by my rules, by my design. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

And also, just for anybody who doesn't like it, you don't need to follow, you don't need to have a conversation, you do not need to be friends, you do not need to be anything on social media or in real life. If you don't like that person, it's okay not to be around that person. You can make that choice.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

You can just just just move on. Move on to the topic you do like.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

Right, cool. We went full feminist there. That's not where we were meant to go this morning, but you know, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

We'll have to think of a different title to call this one because I don't think we can go with the original title. We can't, definitely not. But um, hey, this is why why we call it wildly intentional. We set the intention when we went wild.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Yes, absolutely. Just call it wild girls go feminist or feminist rant.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Yeah, I was gonna say I can't call it women gone wild. We've already had that episode.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Yeah, all right, so feminist rant, that'll do. I'll come up with something.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

So when you when you see the title of this episode, folks that are listening, um, know the fact that I came up with this off the on the fly. On the fly, because I wanted another animal reference.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Maybe you should go out with a warning. This is worse than the menopausal one.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

I don't think it is. I think you know, the men there are men that get it, they understand where we're coming from. Um, and the ones that don't, well, hopefully this episode lets you see a little bit more about what we have to put up.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

Let it be an education.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yeah. Right. Let's sign off though. We've done our words of wisdom. And we'll see you next time. Thanks for spending this time with us on Wildly Intentional.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

If this episode sparked something for you, take it with you and act on it. Don't forget to subscribe, share, and come and say hello online. And remember, bold talk leads to big breakthroughs and no apologies.