Story Time 016 - I'm Rooting For You Pal

What happens when you mix a quiet West Village street, an altered ID, and a friend who thinks making fake police siren noises is a hilarious prank? Absolute, unmitigated chaos. In this unhinged edition of TIATM, TheRealKingFish officially opens the vault to tell the legendary tale of his very first (definitely not his first) run in with the law. From sharing chips with substance dependent individuals, to narrowly dodging a felony charge, to surviving "The Tombs"—this is an all-time confessional.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:21

What is up, you clowns? I am your host, The Marathon Continues. And this is another episode of Storytime with the real King Fish. I'm joined by the man, the myth, the legend. The real one. The real Kingfish. What's up, man? How you doing, bud? You know, I'm I'm doing great. I um I feel good. You know, like uh feel a little bit like the the plane can go down now, you know? Like it's all good. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

Like it's the trip home now. It's like you went on the good vacation and like it's you're satisfied. Yeah, I hear you. I I I definitely there's like some Nick's withdrawal, Nick's hangover going on, but I actually I'm sort of looking forward to like a little time without sports, you know, just relax a little bit, maybe watch some TV with my wife.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

This is that time of year, right? Where there's really much going on.

SPEAKER_04 1:14

There's not much going on, although um, you know, I I think we need to start sort of transitioning this back into like the the antidote to fantasy football. And our draft is not far off.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Oh boy, right? I'm not ready. I am not ready.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

I have to do my thing where I call Mikey and like ask him to remind me who was on my team and like kind of make him give me a synopsis of the season and and stuff like that, so I can get going.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

I think he should do the email that he used to do.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

Oh, we should go back to that. But we should go, yeah. No, like retro, right? Like go back to emails, like none of this AI, none of this texting, like send out a summary email. I I yeah, I think that's I think that's got an idea. I think that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

We'll see. See if we can get it done.

SPEAKER_04 2:02

Yeah. So I I have a story. Hey, no, I want to ask you a question before I get into the story. It's sort of a sort of a a lead-in. Are you like, do you know people's birthdays?

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Uh so I have a process with this one. I if I come across it, okay, I add it to my running to-do list. I I use an app called to-doist. Shout out to all the to-doists out there. I will add your birthday as a to-do list item for that day to call you because it's your birthday. So I I do my best. I'm trying to compile them over time.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

Okay, so I'm putting you in the birthdays guy category. Sounds like birthdays, you care about people's birthdays. That's nice. I I'm not a huge birthday guy. I'm not even a huge guy about my own birthday. I know when my birthday is, but I'm not a huge, like big let's have a party guy. But but I do know um the actual birthday of one guy in this in this fantasy league. Uh, and it's right around the corner. It is uh Oh this one I know. Yeah, if I'm doing it right, I think it Monday, the 28th, is uh is Sean uh is Ron burst in himself's birthday. Um, and so I was thinking about Sean, and I was thinking about the time of year it was, and I think that it's time for me to finally really in full detail tell the story of the the first time I was arrested and and some of the role Ron played in that and and some of that that story.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Fantastic.

SPEAKER_04 3:40

Yeah, and and this one is a this is a doozy, I have to say. Uh, this is one that I I actually I don't feel I feel that I I've told pieces of the story many times. Most people in this league have probably heard parts one of us was there for for the beginning of it. Um but I I swear that this is these are not embellishments, like this is real. This is a real story. Well, I remember it like it was yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

If this was a text message, I'd be sending you eggplant emojis right now. This would be the point in time where you'd be getting this is so the story.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

If we were not 21, I think it was oh three. So this is after we got beat up by the one guy for sure. Right, maybe the summer after that was you know, maybe the same year, sort of Jan one into that. It was right, it wasn't June, I think it was closer. Well, no, it was June, but probably early June. It was right after college let out. We went out to Fat Black Pussycat, which is was on Third Street, you know, like down in the West Village.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Shout out to Fat Pussycat.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

Yeah, it's yeah, solid place. Um, and uh we we met up with these these girls we were friends with, and one of them, I think it was her birthday, she passed out, like she fell asleep. And so I remember the night got cut. This is a real sort of fork in the road moment. The night got cut a little short, like we had to leave, like the girls had to take her home, and so we kept going out. And I was with Sean, as I recall, I was with Sean. I'm sorry, Ron.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

I was gonna say Schman.

SPEAKER_04 5:17

Yeah, I was with Ron, uh Lane Karshauer, the guy that punched me on in the train station, and uh my buddy, another Sean, a different Sean, a third Sean, a Sean, a college Sean, yeah. Is that I remember it, yeah. To some in some ways, I think if I I think Sean, the college friend, had like was sort of like the real victim of all this because he was really just thought he was here to have a good time in the city, and instead I we took him on a wild fucking ride. So we left the bar and we went around the corner. I remember I had to take a piss. Why I didn't take a piss in the bar? Obviously, because I was a drunk idiot, and I had to take a piss, and I went around the corner. Sean and I went around the corner to Manetta Lane. If if if you're familiar with the East Village, Maneta Lane kind of like burns around from 3rd Street to Sixth Avenue and seems very quiet, right? Um, and I went around to that corner. There was a like an iron, you know, one of those wrought iron fences, and I started to to pee. And Ron started sh making siren noises. Like he was starting to yell about the police, and he was making the sounds of a siren while he stood behind me.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

In true Ron fashion.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

Exactly. And and I don't remember if I saw it for later or immediately, but I immediately realized that there was a of like a white, big white van just like sitting maybe 20 feet from where I was pissing.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

So not a joke. Originally assumed it was a joke. Yeah, not a joke.

SPEAKER_04 7:01

No, he wasn't trying to communicate to me that the police were there, he was trying to scare me and make me uncomfortable. And I may have inadvertently called the police, I'm not sure. I turned around, like two guys in plain clothes came up behind me while I was still pissing. They were like, You can go ahead and finish, but we're like they basically like talked me through what was about to happen while I was taking a piss. When I turned back around, like there were two of them when I first turned my head, and after I finished pissing, there were like 20 of them. Oh my god, there were so many of them, and they were not like I got to know these guys pretty well over the course of the night. It was a long night, they were fine, they were very matter-of-fact, and I they were like they went in my pockets, and of course, I had a bag of weed in my pocket, a small one, like twenty dollars worth of weed and a pipe, and they were just like they were, I would say they were more annoyed than anything, and they were like, Oh no, what the fuck, dude? Like, this is so stupid. And then I remember one of them saying to me, I don't remember if it was then or after we got in the van, they said, Um, you know, Bloomberg's daughter lives around the corner, and like this is a no-crime zone. Oh, like nothing goes down over here, period. And I was like, Oh, well, like that would have been good to know, but I didn't know that. So they put me in the van, the very same van that I should have spotted before I started taking a piss. They put me in the van, and we were in the van. You know, what I figured out over the course of this night, and I still find fascinating, is like there's a big logistical problem. Like the court can only go so fast, the cells get filled up at bookings, the cells get filled up at the precinct. They gotta put you somewhere, so that's why you're sitting in the van. We sat in that van. Man, this probably happened at 12. I was in that van for hours. Oh my god. And I'm it's like me, three crackheads in the back, and people keep coming in the van with new stories about what happened. And like, I'm the only one in there, like, who's like has any sense of what's going on. I'm talking to the cops, we're listening to WFN. Uh, and finally, I'm like, listen, I'm gonna piss myself. Like, I gotta pee again. I mean, it was so long, and I so finally we go to the station, and uh, it's been hours. I don't remember what I was doing for work that summer, but we're I the work hadn't started yet. There was one summer I didn't work really. I took some bullshit class, maybe it was that summer. It wasn't like oh, and sorry, and so Sean, other Sean and Lane like see all this go down like from the corner, right? They gotta call my parents and be like, he's not coming home, so Sean's gotta do that. Ron has to do that, Ron's and then and and then and then Ron two has to go with Ron one to fucking Queens. This guy's never even been to, he's like, it's like his first time in the staying with you, so he's gotta go home.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah, he's staying with me.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

So, but he's not going to my house. He goes to Ron One's house, and then so there's that whole thing is happening, right? They're worried, and it's like, what are you supposed to do? You have this idea in your head, you're supposed to like bail your friend out of jail. What is even happening? They take me to the precinct. I get to the precinct. These dudes, so I guess when you get to the precinct, they the guy says to me, Um, listen, when I when you get out of the van, just walk through the precinct like you're handcuffed, like with your hands behind your back. And I'm gonna walk you to the bathroom. You're supposed to get searched. And I was like, All right. And I didn't I like all I had was the weed. They asked me a number, they kept asking me about other shit, and I kept being like, Listen, I'm just like a college kid that likes to smoke a little pot and drink beer. Like, I just like this is it for me. And so I go in the bathroom, the cop goes in the in the toilet, I'm in the I'm in the urinal, and he says, uh, if it was me and I was in uh the bathroom right now, I would take anything else I had illegal on me and and and throw it in the garbage. And I was like, but I don't. And he's like, well, that's great then. Good for you, but whatever. Takes me to the they take me to the to the um, they take me to the you know, the the cage, the cell, the little tiny cell, like in the back of the precinct. I'm sitting there.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

He thought for sure you had spoken on you.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

Exactly. And I I I certainly did not. So uh and so I can't so what I remember from this period was the only time they got mad at me was like I was completely unable to find their follow their instructions about getting fingerprinted. Like I just like it took them so long to fingerprint me, and they were getting so annoyed. It was like an electronic fingerprint machine.

unknown 11:56

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 11:56

And I just like I couldn't like turn my wrist properly.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

It was like right, it was yeah, that those are finicky from what I yeah, they were very finicky and early.

SPEAKER_04 12:05

It was early. Like you do that now, it's a breeze, but you you do it then, you know, it was like the first year that that existed, right? They had us handcuffed. There were it was me and two, I shouldn't call them crackhead, that's not appropriate. Two people with you know, with chemical dependency issues in the cell together. They had us handcuffed to each other. No, yes, so like I had, and I was in the middle, so I had one guy, one uh chemically dependent man on my right, and one chemically dependent man on my left.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

They couldn't even give you the end piece, they gotta give you a piece of yeah, it's just bad luck.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

You're saying bitch in this fucking and they were very nice that at a certain point it had been so long, they were like, Are you guys hungry? And I was like, Yeah, you know me. I'm like, Yeah, I'm starving.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Always. That's what I say. Are you hungry?

SPEAKER_04 12:53

Always, yeah, always. They get us our they get us a bag of chips. I don't know where they sat the chips down, but I'm telling you, how are you gonna eat chips if you're handcuffed to a drug addict? I'm telling you what we did. Yo, we put our hands in the bag, and then like dude takes the chip, puts it up to his mouth, eats a chip, I put my hand in the bag, I eat a chip, then I do it on the other side. So the bag, all the chips are gone, one chip at a time, me and these two guys. I mean, this is like what are we even doing? So then so this, so whatever. I'm in there a couple hours. Dude comes out, the cop comes out and he's like mad. And he's like, hey, come here. And I he's like, you know, lean forward, whatever I lean forward. And he's like, I thought I fucking asked you about anything else illegal. And I'm like, and I'm like, what? And he's like, What is this? And he takes out my chalked ID and he's like, This is he's like, he's like, he's like, this is serious, and I'm just like, what? You know what I'm saying? He's like, he's like, this is worse than a fake ID. He's like, this is altered, this is a felony, yeah. And I was just like, uh, I was like, I I don't like I don't know what to tell you. Everybody does it, I don't know what the fuck I was gonna say, right? And uh he just kind of like left. That was it. That was the last yeah. So I was like, but honestly, I don't even remember like being that it was like I had so much going on, I wasn't even like up to the worrying part yet of like what was gonna happen. Then we go after a certain amount of time to the tombs to central booking, like proper jail, you know, not jail, jail, but like the courthouse, which you know, and we'll get to this, but like ironically, the same build, like my dad worked in that building for 20 fucking years, and subsequently I would work there as a paralegal. I went in a very different door this time, you know. So, like they drop us off in the van. I remember like coming out of the precinct in the sunlight, being like, Oh, what the fuck? Like, oh my god. We go in. I don't know, you take the elevator. I don't really remember, but you're like, now you're in the guts of it, right? No shoelaces, no belt, like whatever. Do all that, they take you in, you get deeper and deeper, and they put you in a cell, 30 guys in a cell, uh, benches all around, toilet, you know, like with a little bit of stuff around it. And what I remember about that is like I passed out. First thing I did was pass out probably an hour or two. Uh people were real mad about people taking shits. It was like they would get real, but like it's a lot of guys, it wasn't scared, really scary. It was like a lot of dudes, and they have, I guess it's like it was very clear I was like on the misdemeanor side.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yep, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 15:47

Like, yep. So I was I was hanging like in there, there was a small group of guys. It actually in my mind was like actually immediately like race, like divided up by race. Like I remember like chum, like talking to like two white guys, like the only other two, you know.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

It sounds like like a sample of a real, like a real jail experience.

SPEAKER_04 16:06

Yeah, a little. I mean, it wasn't scary though, like there was no menace, like it was like the guy's taking his shit, and the other guy is like, and then like some guy's making fun of him, right? Mert uh Ron actually would have been he would have fit right in. It's too bad he wasn't there. So I met a guy in there, so I was chatting with this guy, and everybody did some dumb shit. Then after about an hour, uh coming across the other side, I ran into a guy I knew from college. I run, you know me. Like you get a group of people together, this dude, Dave. I don't even remember his last name, but he I found out later that he hit somebody and the person hit their head, and he it was a real ongoing thing for him. Like, I don't think he went to properly went to prison, but it was like he had a real problem. He got himself into yeah, and I saw him punch people at college too. So, like, he definitely did that shit. That was a hundred percent tracks for sure. Yeah, so I was in there a long time, and what obviously what what became clear to me was that like, and there was a phone in there. I don't actually remember speaking to my parents while I was in there, but there was a phone in there too. Yep, and uh maybe I did speak to my parents, maybe I didn't, you know, Ron was obviously taking care of all that.

SPEAKER_03 17:15

Um and uh yeah I thought I thought Ron would have bailed you out by now.

SPEAKER_04 17:21

Yeah, I remember I had two while I was in there, I had two meals, like baloney two of those like double baloney sandwich meals, nasty ass meals, really bad. Oh, you were in there, you were I was there, I was there until the next evening. So I was there until about it was like dinner time when I got out. It became very apparent though, while I was in there that people were coming out. I was one of the last ones in the room of 30, right? Of course, everybody has a term being last, and so people were going out the same order that they went in, and I was like, I could I was starting to figure like I'm never getting out of here. I'll be stuck in here, dog. Yeah, now I I I think I've never spoken to my dad about this, but I'm certain that he made a phone call that was like, get this kid the fuck, like, can you just help my kid get out? Wow, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Never spoken to him about oh, I've spoken to him about what happened.

SPEAKER_04 18:15

Uh we spoke quite a bit after, uh, but I never asked him what who he had to call. And look, I'm at like what I did. So I tell people all the time, I'm a unicorn, I'm a white man that got arrested just for marijuana possession. That's like that statistically, like never happens.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

But right, arrested for peeing.

SPEAKER_04 18:38

I don't even think it appeared on the ticket. Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

So, you know, they have no grounds.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

This is well, now it's not illegal, but then it was obviously. So, you know, like there was no it. I don't think my dad would have ever asked for this because that's not, but like there wasn't any lower this this could happen. It was too, you know what I mean? It was like I got a t I ended up with a ticket that was then dismissed.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Like, it's not like you know they did nothing about the chalk ID.

SPEAKER_04 19:03

I'll get to that. Oh dang. I'll get to that. So yeah, no problem. So yeah, great question. So I I got out. Oh, so then I go to the so now I go, then they put you in another room, and that's where like for people who have to meet with their lawyer. Yep, and you know, I'm I'm in this uh now I'm in another cell of like six people, and it's got those like little privacy booths, like a church confessional. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

You gotta pick up the phone. That's uh you're like in the case.

SPEAKER_04 19:32

Yeah, but I didn't, I I guess. Well, I'm gonna I in the end I had a lawyer, but uh I didn't like what are we gonna talk about here? You know what I'm saying? Like there was no really in there, a guy said to me in there, a guy told me that he he was like had his conversation with his lawyer, and he came out and he was all pissed off. This is the only time I was like actually really afraid during this whole thing, and he was like all mad, and he's like, They're telling me I'm gonna do three years, and then he goes, but I killed that boy in Chicago, and I only did a year. And I was like, Okay, okay, I was like, I'm rooting for you, pal. Yeah, gotcha, but so then I go out into the courtroom, and um they they got you on the side of the courtroom, like waiting to speak to the judge. And I was in there with I don't know why, it was like me and like a whole group of prostitutes that had been arrested together that all knew each other. Oh, and they were like fucking around, like being so noisy, like they were having the time of their lives, and I just remember like sitting among them being like, This is fucking crazy. I don't remember much about the judge. I had the lawyer, I I got an adjournment in contemplation of dismissal, which eventually was dismissed, ended up being no big deal. It comes up with a remarkable frequency when I'm like having to do paperwork, um, which is pretty funny. It's been 23 years now, and then of course, the worst part was facing my parents.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Right.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

What I remember about this that is so shameful is that Ron too was like still with us for the weekend. And I thought that like I had a legitimate argument that like like I was like, my friend is here, like I should be able to like go out to like have dinner with him and stuff. I remember being like, if you try and leave this fucking house, like don't come back, you know what I mean? Sure. So so there was that. There was like, you know, I remember like the car was real quiet, you know, the taxi was real quiet on the way home. Yeah, you know, that was real bad. About a week later, maybe, you know, and this was good good parenting. Uh, I remember my dad trying to tell me, like, you know, I don't. What he was trying to tell me was like, I don't really care about weed. What I care about is like you doing dumb shit. Stupid, being stupid. Yeah, like why can't you just like just don't be stupid? And also, like, obviously, this probably wasn't the first time you did some stupid shit. Like, you probably didn't get arrested arrested the first time you did something stupid. And obviously, we've talked about a lot of things I had already done. Yep. Right. So, like, and you know, I wasn't even like that's a pretty cool message, and I was not even really hearing it. I was just like, I don't know, you know, I was like, I don't know, this shit shouldn't be illegal. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 22:35

You can't get arrested for abandoning a bloody friend, like a friend that's bleeding out on the floor, right? You can't get arrested for that.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

Can't get arrested for that.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

No, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

Uh so then so all right. So then fast forward a year, maybe more. I get a letter in the mail at my house from New York Sports with a return address at a New York sports club. And I'm just like, I don't understand what this is. I open it up and it's my ID. Just that's like nothing else in the envelope. Yo, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

That's incre a year later.

SPEAKER_04 23:15

It had to be a year, it could have been longer.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 23:18

And I figure the cop just took the ID, put it in his desk, and then like a year later, somebody was like, What is this fucking thing? Like, send it back.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

This is so you are that is one of the more incredible things I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, these the cops just take it easy on white people, man. That's yeah, I had to go to court. I got the same thing. The same thing happened to me in Connecticut, and I was dealing with that shit for 18 months. It was and it was a huge cost, and luckily it got expunged eventually. But man, Mike chalked ID fucked me. Yeah, over.

SPEAKER_04 23:54

And I will say, like at in at in Bethlehem where Lehi is, like, things were very different. Like it was very strict, like they didn't because they had nothing to, you know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like nothing else to do, yeah. And his money and like all that, you know, very different. Um, so and I just want to say something, and I'm not just saying this because it's Ron's birthday. I love him. I was never first of all, I don't think he actually I it I never really thought that it was his fault, but second, I was but even still, it never even occurred to me to like be mad or whatever. Like, I always thought it was kind of funny, and uh yeah, like I mean I think he might have felt bad, but I never held it against him.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

No, I got some follow-up questions. Uh so Sean, well, first of all, I'm just picturing you know that look that Sean gets when he's like the eyebrows go really high, and he's sort of like, What like when I imagine yeah, like that's what I imagine he looked like as he does a thing where he's like when like something bad happens, like where he's stuck, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 25:04

Or he kind of like laughs and he raises his eyebrows and he opens his mouth and he's just like he's stuck, like it's like he he yeah, and like on your computer when the when the the rainbow wheel is spinning, yes, exactly. And yeah, I can imagine that he was just like, I yeah, I'm sure he had that look on his face. And just look, you're probably picturing him in his steep deck. Obviously, it was summertime, so that's not what he was wearing. Um, he was probably wearing his Rasheed Wallace jersey with no shirt on for that is a specific type of cat, the cat that will wear a jersey with no nothing under.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

I noticed that.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

Uh yeah, we we had a big well, there's been a lot of that this week. Yeah, um I often think about how my time wearing a jersey with nothing underneath was so narrow. There was like between my build and the hair I grew on my body, it was like I had six days closed, huh? Yeah, the window closed really fast, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

All right, so I I want to know what's the dynamic when you get home. You gave me a little bit of it, but so tell me, is your mom more upset? Like, is your dad more upset? I I imagine in these moments, like this is like a dead the dad steps in, like your father steps in, because as you said, this is uh revolving around stupidity. So, you know, I think it was definitely like you want to step in and be like, you know, let's uh figure this out.

SPEAKER_04 26:41

It was definitely more of a dad thing. I don't recall um I don't recall like a lot of maybe thank god Ron from upstate was around, like to sort of cushion the blow a little bit. Um I don't remember like yelling or anything like that. I think it was just like because I knew I fucked up, like you can't, like you know, uh so yes, it was definitely more of a dad thing, and I think it was like my parents had obviously had but also my parents had had time to like strategize, sure, you know what I'm saying? So like it was in hindsight, I think it that that they must have done that.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

Yeah, I'm sure they went through a bunch of stages, but like it reminds me of the boiler, you know the the the kid from the boiler, oh yeah, like how his father treats him. There's like a scene that I'm vaguely remembering that is like he's just disappointed.

SPEAKER_04 27:39

I'm a j yes. I that movie first that movie is fucking awesome. Shout out to that movie, yeah, for sure. Uh that movie is slept on. It you know, obviously they've remade you know, it's the first attempt to make Wolf of Wall Street. It's obviously not Wolf of Wall Street, but more people should see that movie. That movie is a fucking classic, and yes, it was a little bit like that, I would say. Um and honestly, like it's funny, I am laughing about it now. I did have for a long time, and this wasn't the only brush with the law I ever had, but like I used to have uh, you know, I'm definitely the kind of person where like the seriousness of situations and like it doesn't hit me for a long time, you know. Like I'm not in the moment, I'm very like just going through it, yeah. So but I had dreams about getting arrested for years, years. Yeah, so I was like not like so broken up about it in the moment, but I used to have dreams like that for yeah, I had dreams for a long time, so it definitely had an effect on me.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

Other thing I'm curious about, so you know what type of dynamic did your brother bring to the table? Like, is he sitting in the back, like laughing at you? Is he supportive? What's the similar situation like that? You know, it's so funny that you ask that.

SPEAKER_04 29:02

I feel like could he have been in college? No, I don't think he would have been in college yet, but I don't recall him being around for this. Wow, yeah. I mean he heard about it, I'm sure. I remember, I mean, a lot of people heard about it. I remember Father's Day. Okay, so this was the summer I was working at the Virgin Megastore for sure. It's coming together. Okay, remember there was a Father's Day, it would have been before Father's Day, shortly before Father's Day. Okay, and then we went out because I remember I remember I didn't show up for work at the Virgin Megastore so I could go to Father's Day, and then I remember at Father's Day, my grandfather pulling me aside and putting his arm around me and being like, I heard it's like, thanks, mom. I heard a story, and like my grandfather really was like the proper like patriarch of that side of the family, like sure, and I remember him putting his arm around me and being like, now I know I'm not gonna hear another story like that about you again. Like it was like so fast, and I was like so scared. Like, you know, I don't think yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

Um saved your I mean, that's right. My god, uh whoever that cop is, man, that really restores my faith in um I policemen.

SPEAKER_04 30:21

That guy, I'm sure, is retired with his pension, you know, like making wood decks for people and living in Florida and voting for Trump. But he he and whoever they were, yeah, they they hooked me up. I'll I'll never forget them. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

Um, I mean, you know, I um well, shout out to you for being white. Um, it really helps, man. Man, does it help me? It does.

SPEAKER_04 30:48

We we've I think the other episode where this came up was like internships, like getting paid to do nothing.

SPEAKER_03 30:54

Yep, yep, just pay my kid because he's also white and I know you from college. This reminds me of a story, actually. I don't know if you were there or not. Um were you there that time we were on the strip when the cops came driving down? So we were the strip, for in case you don't know, was like right by Riverside Park, like 96. Yes, oh yeah, right. So we were sitting there smoking and drinking as we did normally, and we would sit towards the middle of it, so you could see like pretty far in each direction. And the cop car, well, there's a car that pulls in on the 96th Street side, you know, that entrance over there. Cop pull the car pulls in and is driving down. It's like, who else could it be but the cops, right? So everybody goes and stashes their shit. We put the beers behind the the, you know, it's like we're you're red-handed, you're caught red-handed.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

Yeah, I know exactly the scram, the scrambling.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we get and the car is going slow, and then the car, it like slowly pulls up and it stops right in front of us, and then the window rolls down. Yeah, I know this feeling. Yeah, and the cop goes, have you seen a bunch of kids in the park smoking and drinking?

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Yep, I just went down that way. They went that it went that way. All right, cool. And they roll up the window and they drove off.

SPEAKER_04 32:16

No, and then the awkward part is what do you do after? Like, and you got all this weed and all this beer, and like you, you're like, it was so hard to get, and you're like hanging out, and you got everything lined up, and it's like, where do we go now? What do we do? It was I was with Ben Roth once, I don't remember who else I was with on his block on River on Riverside, not in the park, but like you know, right at basically right outside his window. Yeah, and uh we had some weed on us, and uh we were obviously planning to smoke it. And I remember a van or a car pulled up on March with cops in it, and the cop rolled the window down. And in my recollection, he just went like smoking, and then he drove away. And I remember we were shook, but like back in the day, I mean, listen, I don't think kids should be out here smoking all the weed that they smoke, like it's definitely bad for you. But like, I know so many people that got arrested for in all over, uh, just like for smoking weed, and it's like you you you have 17-year-olds like spending the night in central booking, yeah. That's too much, you know what I mean? It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 33:18

Well, shout out to white privilege, shout out um uh all you guys for dragging me along. Meanwhile, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:25

Meanwhile, you go to the next parade. Let me tell you, talk about weed getting smoked.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Holy wow, that's a that's something that I notice about New York City as a as a rule now that didn't really exist before. Like when I go there, it's just like there's just weed smoke in there. That's just what's going on. Yep. So that's cool. I like that. Nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

No, not at all. So yeah, that's my story.

SPEAKER_03 33:49

I feel like how did Schmila do with the weed smoke?

SPEAKER_04 33:52

How did how did you I told her what I what I told her was it was a day where like rules didn't really apply, like people were cursing, skipping work, drinking, smoking. I was like, you know what? Like, this is sort of like this isn't real. Basically, I was like, this isn't real life, and then her first question was like, she was like, Can I say the F word? And I was like, Yeah, go for it.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Oh yeah, shout out to you, shout out to you for that.

SPEAKER_04 34:21

All right, man.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

It's time. Well, well, this was wonderful. Yeah, always good. This is a classic one. Oh yeah, shout out to you, shout out to everybody.

SPEAKER_04 34:29

Shout out to Ron One, shout out to Ron Two, shout out to those two cops.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

Yep, shout out to that look that Ron one makes when uh his rainbow.

SPEAKER_04 34:40

I can't wait to see it. Like when when he when his like when somebody asks him whether he has any sour skittles and he says no, but then like a giant bag falls out of his pants. That kind of a look. All right, man. I love you. All right, let me do it. Let me do it.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Let it laughter, they won't let me go. They won't let me laugh, they won't let me go. They won't let me go.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

What is up, you clowns? We are back with another episode of the which podcast is this? Storytime with the real kingfish. I am joined by my wonderful you know what? We're gonna cut that one.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

I thought it was going really well until the end. Yeah, here we go. Okay.