Episode 16: MMHR Functional Freeze

Feeling “fine”… but not really?

This week’s Mental Health Reminder dives into functional freeze—the quiet state where you’re still showing up for life, but feel disconnected inside. If you’ve been going through the motions and don’t recognize yourself lately… this one’s for you. ☕🖤

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🚨 HELP & SUPPORT

If you are in the United States and experiencing domestic violence, emotional abuse, or coercive control:

You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline
 📞 Call or text 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
 🌐 www.thehotline.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back TDT fans. It's Marie and welcome back to another mental health reminders of the week. This is your space where you don't have to perform, you don't have to explain, you don't even have to fully understand what you're feeling. You just have to be here, take a breath with me, just one slow breath. It's okay. Today's reminder is something that hides in plain sight. It doesn't look like a breakdown, it doesn't look like crying on the floor, and it doesn't even always look like sadness. Sometimes it's it looks like strength, but it's not. It's called functional freeze. So let's dive into this. Um, functional freeze is what happens when your mind and your body have gone through so much that instead of reacting loudly, you just go quiet. It's your nervous system saying, I can't fight this, I can't run from this, so I'm gonna protect you by numbing it. And the scary part is you can still live like this, you can smile, you can laugh at the right moments, you can take care of everyone else, and you could still simply just look okay while internally feeling like you're watching your life from behind a glass. And this is where it gets kind of heavy because when you've been in the state long enough, you don't just feel disconnected from your emotions, you start to feel disconnected from yourself. You might catch yourself thinking, is this just who I am now? Did I did something in me break? Why do I feel so distant from everything I used to care about? And no one really talks about that part, the grief of not recognizing yourself anymore. And if you're a mom, this can even feel even more confusing because you're still showing up every day, you're making meals, you're comforting your babies, you're doing everything you're supposed to do, but inside you're like, why don't I feel the this way, the way that I think I should? And that guilt, that quiet guilt that whispers, you should be more present, more grateful, more something. That guilt is heavy and it's also misplaced because numbness doesn't mean you don't love deeply. It means you've been overwhelmed deeply. But let's kind of start off with some behavioral layers. Um, functional freeze can look like these things. Um avoiding text, not because you don't care, but because responding feels like pressure, staying busy constantly because slowing down feels uncomfortable. Or the opposite, feeling stuck and unable to start anything at all, scrolling for hours, aka doom scrolling, zoning out mid-conversation and pretending you're still present. It's not laziness and it's not disinterest, it's a nervous system that hasn't felt safe enough to come back online. You didn't choose this, your body chose survival. And survival doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like silence and sometimes it's like numbness, sometimes it's like being, I'm fine. So instead of asking yourself, how do I fix this? Try asking how do I make myself feel safe again? Because healing from this isn't about pushing harder, it's about softening. Start smaller than you think you need to. Let yourself feel one emotion, even if it's just I'm tired. Sit outside and notice something real: the wind, the sun, the quiet, the grass, plant your feet. I truly believe in grounding yourself. Put your phone down for a minute and just exist. Say out loud, I'm here, I'm okay, and I don't have to rush this. You're not rebuilding your whole life right now, you're reconnecting piece by piece. And if this episode found you at the right time, I want you to hear this without questioning it. You are still here and you are still in there. The version of you that laughs deeply, that feels fully, and that connects without effort. She didn't disappear, nor did he. She's just been protecting herself where he is. So today, don't pressure yourself to be back to normal. Just take one small step toward yourself. And even if that step is just noticing, I don't feel okay right now. That awareness, that beginning, that has been your mental health reminder today. And I'll be right here with you the next time as well. Take care of your mind and be gentle with yourself. And I love you later, alligators.