Episode 17: Boundaries

Let’s be honest—some people are comfortable with you having no boundaries.

In this episode, we talk about the hard truth behind setting limits, the guilt that comes with it, and why not everyone will like the version of you that chooses yourself.

Growth is uncomfortable… but so is staying stuck.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back, TDT fans. It's Marie and Seth. And we have had a mini pause break for two weeks because we lost a very close family member who was like a father figure to me. Um, so there has been a little pause in recording, but we are back for good and a little more. Well, I'm a little more stable mentally. So um, yeah, guys. I feel that. I'm a little more stable mentally, also. Yeah. And that was rough.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Um quite all the way there.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Yeah, but no. Definitely more stable. Stable enough not to cry every five minutes.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

There we go.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Yeah. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

I cry.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

I don't cry that often, but I don't know if I've ever seen you cry.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

I you've definitely seen me cry. Like recently, like literally like two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Maybe it's just so rare. I just like, yeah, I don't know. I really don't know. Maybe I space it out. Probably so. I wouldn't blame you. Even when I watched you give birth, I was like, damn, this bitch doesn't cry. I was definitely crying. I was definitely calling it. Well, no, like for the most ball my eyes out, bro. Like, I don't think you were bawling your eyes out. Like you were like you were upset because you were in pain, obviously, but like I was like, you know, when you like think of someone crying, they're like oh like sobbing. Yeah, like I haven't seen you really do that. Yeah, I really I don't do that. Um, so you know, she's a strong beach.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

I am emotionally in tune, okay. I just I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

She cries, she just doesn't will cries. Yeah, hashtag sav is short. Um today we're gonna talk about boundaries. Yes, we are because I feel like we're gonna shift a little more towards mental health um in our episodes. Um, we might still do like a little bit here and there of like true crime topics or spooky, spooky things, but um, I feel like mental health is our thing, like we resonate a lot to it with each other so um yeah, I was gonna say fuck yeah, but then I was like screw yeah, but that doesn't sound right neither. So let's stick with fuck yeah. Fuck yeah more intense, fuck yeah, and I sound like a toddler cussing. I know I get told this all the time. Everybody's like, she's so sweet and like my toddler cussing. Yeah.

unknown 2:26

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 2:28

Yesterday we were driving in separate cars and Marie flipped me off from the other car.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Well, she was flipping me off too. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

You and your man, my brother, flipped me off first, and then my child saw it. So he's like flipping everyone off in the car. And I was like, you know what? Everybody, let's everybody in the car, mind you. I had what one, two, three, four kids with me in the car. And I was like, okay, everybody, let's flip them off. So me and a car full of kids, I know that parenting, bad TTing, and all of that. But you know what? I don't give a damn. So we all flipped them off. And when I tell you, Marie's job was on the floor, it was hilarious, so worth it. Stefano was like, Oh, he's grounded. Yeah, I was like, don't. I told him, I was like, tell your mom that I said it's okay to do this.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

I told Stefano, just give him one break. I'm like, I'll take the fall. It's okay. Savannah's grounded, guys. Just so you know, she cannot go out past 6 p.m. now. I'm spiritually grounded, so yes. Okay, yep. Um, but um, what was I gonna say? That was um the highlight of our Saturday. And maybe yours. I had a good Saturday, is all I'm gonna say. That was the highlight. I don't know. Driving by a car of kids flipping you off is kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Yesterday somebody actually asked me, um, they said, what was the highlight of your week? And they were like, it can be anything, like literally anything that just was like the highlight of your week. And I'm sitting here really thinking because I'm like, what was the highlight of my week? I can barely remember yesterday. But I couldn't come up with anything, so I was like, you know what? I had a really good six-piece chicken wing combo from Wingstop the other day, and hit spot, bro. Hit spot. I was like, he was like, okay, so wingstop I was like, yup. I've never been Wingstop. Is it good? I love Wingstop. Their fries are really good. I like them. Okay, I need to try them. Uh girl, you gotta get them the right way. Make sure you get the extra crispy. If you don't get your wings, if you're eating chewy wings, you belong in a padded room. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Yeah, I don't know about chewy wings. Um, I love lemon pepper wings, so girl, like I said, sweet and spicy. Sweet and spicy is always my favorite. Um, but okay, so we are gonna talk about boundaries. This is one that me and Sav clearly have struggled with in the past. Why clearly? They don't know it's Marie. Everybody has clearly struggled with boundaries. Let me tell you that.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Some people do not. Some people that may be a strength for some people. I think they and I have met many people who that is a strength for that they are able to set boundaries and they're very disciplined.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

A lot of those great people say though that they did use to be used to be a pushover and they learned from it. So it just I guess it depends on how good you are at being assertive with your words.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yes, I I agree. Um I think that just like it is to be disciplined, like it takes work, like that's not something that just happens and like is natural. Like you're gonna have days that you feel like you don't want to do it, and you have to push yourself to do it. That's where you know the discipline comes in. And I feel like that's kind of how boundaries are. That's how I see boundaries, is like you have to set those boundaries for yourself, regardless of how uncomfortable it may be for yourself or for someone else. Like, those are so important. I feel like I've learned a lot about boundaries because one thing about me, y'all, I am so and so patient and I'm so forgiving. And I in the past was very, very passive. I would let anything slide. I was very like so understating to the point to where I would like justify people's behavior and be like, okay, well, they could be dealing with this. This just happened to them, this or that. Like, I was always making excuses for people who were overstepping boundaries that I have set and I would just allow it to happen. Eventually, it would become a norm. Like that they wouldn't really, they'd be like, Oh, she ain't got no boundaries. I just do whatever I want.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

I feel that I feel like my peak of that was when I was like from 18 to 20, I think 23 or 24. I was like a huge ass pushover. Like people could, I was just so nice, and like I still am, and I'm still working on it. I'm just not as bad as I used to be. Um, but you know, like I've always cared about what people thought about me, and honestly, saying no is okay. Yes, that's so hard for me.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Yes, I'm such a yes person. Saying no is so hard for me.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

But you have to like sometimes you have to say no because not everybody, and like I don't know how other people view this, but for me, like I'm starting to come more into it since the passing of my father figure. But um, I've learned through seeing his life and like how he was raised and what happened to him as a kid, and then how he and like how his life ended, like not nobody was in his life prior to that. Where and he had boundaries. He told people no, he and he had his small group of people who loved him. But he didn't let people who didn't put in the effort, not like the same effort, because obviously some relationships give and take, but I noticed that through that he he loved people who made mistakes, but who would also give effort back, right? No matter if it was like obviously not the littlest effort possible, but you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Like if he saw that they were working to improve themselves or you know, making the changes or doing the self-work, yeah. Um, he was more open to like putting the wall down that he usually had up.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah, yeah. And that's like a big thing for me is like being such a pushover. I feel like people will people will take over and like it leaves you brokenhearted so many times when you feel like you're not up to par for people or nobody likes you. So, like for me, seeing that through his life and seeing how he ended his life with everyone around him that loved him, like for me, that's a big signalization for me that I need to prioritize the ones that do love me and the ones that are showing up and showing out, and even if they make mistakes, like be with them through it. Right. But for the ones that aren't, like, I need to make those boundaries where I'm setting clear indications like if you can't be there for me, like yes, I'll be nice, I'll be there to like give prayers or things like that, but I gotta set those boundaries that I just can't be a pushover to everyone.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

That's a conversation I was having yesterday as well. Was not everyone deserves all of you, not everyone deserves the same version of you, not everybody deserves that same depth, and that's where I feel like I have started to learn more about setting boundaries is that you know, I am such an open book and I'm so just kind of like welcoming, and I'm like, excuse me, I'm very um, I mean, literally open arms all the time. Like, you know, I'm very accepting, and um there's very little that will really upset me or any of that, but um that's where I need to set boundaries, you know, because you don't know everyone's intentions, A. And B, once somebody sees that you are like not somebody, but just people who don't have great intentions, yeah, you know, they will take. If they see that you are a giver, that you're so just open or vulnerable, they will take and you will be left with nothing. I've been in that position, and honestly, I have struggled with setting boundaries for so long, and I feel like um since the beginning of the year, that's been my lesson for this year is setting clear boundaries and communicating those boundaries because I also see and I've noticed myself that when I don't communicate the boundaries, how am I supposed to expect somebody else to know that? Yeah, to know what boundary is set, you know, if I don't, if I'm not clear about it.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

So same thing. Saying no, super hard for me. But you know, I'm like, I admire people who do set boundaries, and I even I encourage people if I am crossing boundary, please let me know. Like, by all means, because the last thing I'm gonna do is cross your like cross a boundary or you know, do something that you are not okay with or something that is just like a a no-go, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Yeah, but I think for me, what gets me is um sometimes those people that do set the boundaries, like I've I feel are like to me, I admire that too, because clearly I'm not someone who's really ever set boundaries before for myself, too. And I mean I it it landed me in situations where me and the other person that I would have that situation with would come into off terms, and so for me, like but even setting boundaries sets you into off terms, and like so setting boundaries is hard, but I feel like when people set boundaries, if you're a boundary setter, you have to respect someone else's boundaries too.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

I agree, and I feel like that sorry for interrupting, but I do feel like that is something that um I lost my train of thought.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Damn it. When you're when you're a boundary setter, like you want people to respect your boundaries. So and that's like something people anybody should stand by. If you're a boundary setter, anyone should respect those boundaries, since that is something that you're requiring for yourself. But if someone else comes in and they have boundaries too, those people have to respect other people's boundaries just as much as they respect their own. I remember my thought. Okay, came back, Simi.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Um, and I lost it again. Hold on, give me like two seconds. This is a daily conversation, okay. Uh we were talking about boundaries and then okay, yes, I remember. So I feel like you whenever you set those boundaries, that's gonna show you who whose intentions are, like who means well and actually cares for you. I feel like, you know, and if even if in the very beginning when you set that boundary, yeah, you know, everybody responds and reacts differently.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

If the first initial response is for them to pull away and to be like, oh, like sorry, and you know, I feel like just personally, I take the time to let them process that I am setting a boundary so that way, you know, they know that I'm still, I'm still here, you know, I'm still, you know, but I need you to know that this is a boundary that I set, and me just being who I am, I usually explain why I have set that boundary. Yeah. But you don't have to do that, you know. But I feel like people who understand why you're setting a boundary and respect it, those are your people. Those are the people that care for you, those are the people who want to see you succeed and want to see you grow. If you set a boundary and somebody is like, oh, okay, and just has like a real off response, it's like, okay, well, obviously I like I listened to my intuition, I set that boundary, and this is why, because I shouldn't allow you if you can't risk like that. Is basic respect is respecting someone's boundaries regardless of what they are. Yeah. You know, it could be something as simple as I don't I don't text back after nine o'clock.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

And somebody's sitting there blowing you up with a bunch of text messages. That's crossing a boundary. Because why are you texting me after nine? Well, you clearly communicated nine o'clock.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Okay, that's just hypothetical after nine. No, no, no. Most people go in sleep mode.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

What's that sleep mode? How many times have you tried to call me after 8:30?

SPEAKER_01 14:50

I'm like, bro, just put me on the approved list. Okay, ain't nobody on the approved list.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

Literally 0% people on the approved list.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Ain't nobody approved. Um, I was gonna say, I agree. I've been on the other end though, where I was because like if we're being honest here, we have to be honest about everything, but I've been on the other end where I didn't respect boundaries as well. And you know, I feel like you get a sense of guilt um when you don't respect someone's boundaries because you can obviously see that it affects them. Right. So I now that I'm like older, I'm almost 31, and like a lot of people would say that's still a baby, but um, I've learned a lot in my life that setting boundaries is okay, and setting boundaries to be respected is okay as well, but not everyone is gonna respect those boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

No, they're not.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

And it's on us to on the person that is setting those boundaries to decide on how they handle those. But how would you handle someone not respecting your boundaries?

SPEAKER_02 15:53

I think it depends on the level of not respecting my boundaries. Now, if I set a boundary and I see that they're totally against it in that they just are blatantly like letting me know either with body language, with words, with um just uh um Demeanor. Yes, yeah, um, if that they are not gonna respect that boundary, yeah, then I'll remove myself. Now, if it's like I said earlier, um everybody's gonna react differently when you set a boundary. Yeah. Um, and so if it's an initial, an initial like response of, oh, uh well, my bad. Like, I'm gonna allow it to simmer a little bit, you know, like sit in it, think about it, and process it yourself, you know, because that's what I do when someone sets a clear boundary with me. I will process it and I'll be like, okay, you know, because I feel like self-awareness, I was having this conversation last night too. Oh my god, all of these things are coming up and it's Taurus season, and Uranus is finally out of here. So, anyway, I was reading some the first time in eight years that Taurus finally gets to just be free, anyways. Um, so I this was a conversation I was having, but I feel like um self-awareness is one of the most important things that you can have because it also will help you learn other people, you know? Like the more self-aware you become, the more aware of other people you will be, you know, because you take yourself out of a mindset of like um almost I won't say like insecure, but you will pull yourself out of a mindset of they're responding this way because of me. Yeah, you know, you're able to look at it in a different way because you're self-aware, you know, and you're like, okay, well, this is how this happened, and this was their response. Maybe they're going through this or going through that, they haven't processed all of this. Let me give them some time. Yeah. I feel like that's that's what I do typically is like either I'll pull myself away if my boundary is just being like blatantly disrespected to my face. But if a response is just um like the initial response is just like really surprised or like something like that, then I'll just allow them to kind of sit in it. If they want to talk about it, if they want to ask me about it, I'm very, very willing to openly tell you why I have this boundary set. Now, if it's like just like I don't know, like a really intense situation, and you're like, oh, well, why don't you want me to do, I don't know, something that's crossing a boundary, like if you're like out or something and someone tries to grab your ass and you're like, don't fucking touch me. Yeah. And they're like, oh, well, why not? Because I'm gonna punch you in the fucking face. Why do you mean why not? You want to fuck around and find out. Fuck around and find out. So there's there's different boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Yeah, I can understand that. What about you? Um, if someone blatantly like, so like you said, if someone blatantly disrespects my boundaries, I pull away. Um, I definitely pull away. I don't like to be, I've come into a I used to push myself to go around people that would blatantly disrespect me in many ways. I have family, friends that's done it, um, people I've known my whole life. So for me, like like I've told you before, like most of my people that run in my life are people that are not blood. So for me, nothing, nothing is soul tied, I feel like, just because something is tied through relation, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

So if someone blatantly disrespects me, no matter who you are, like I will pull away. That could be a parent, a I probably would never do it to my kids. I would set boundaries with my kids, but um girl, being a parent, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

All you do is set boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Um the boundary I had to set this morning was ridiculous. No eating Cheetos before 10 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Yeah, the kids always be trying to disrespect that one.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

But and they do, they cross the boundary every time.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

I was gonna say it's you know, it it comes down to a lot of um no matter who to me, just is just to me, no matter who you are. I am an understanding person, but I do not I don't like disrespect or bullshit. So for me, I I just don't get close to many people.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

You know what about you also is um you're very honest, like regardless of what it is that needs to be said, you gonna say that shit. And I feel like people who don't know you don't know how to interpret that honesty because there are not many people in this world that are just honest and that are just open. Like, if somebody fucks up and they're close to you, you're gonna be like, bitch, you fucking up. Like, you will let somebody know. I try to be honest, I try to be nice. You know what? Yes, you do, but I think maybe specifically you and I have reached a point in our friendship and like sisterhood that you literally will just be like, Santa, what the fuck are you doing? Like, how do you do that?

SPEAKER_01 21:11

But me and you were like, so like that's a okay. So I don't let many people close to me though. So for me, instinctively, you, my husband, my kids, and my best friend are probably the closest people I've ever had in my life. And anybody outside of that, I love and I care for very deeply, but I will I've just learned and I'm coming into that realization that nobody will matter more to me than my people.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Oh yeah. So I mean that literally for what two, three years now, I feel like that's something that I upset a lot because it's something that I've been working on too. Is like my village, you know, growing my village, having people around who are wholesome people, having um that's something we talked about not too long ago was the fact that we can look at our kids and know that they are always welcome to start a conversation with any adult in the room. Yes. Any adult in the room is always gonna be there to tend to them and listen and hear them and be there for them. You know, every adult that is around cares for them. We don't ever have people around who make our kids feel like they can't be a part of a conversation. Or, I mean, unless we're really just having a conversation that needs to be had that like an adult conversation. But even then, they're usually we usually wait and we do it on their time where they're like doing something or occupied or playing, and we wait until that passes so we can have a more serious conversation. But yeah, yeah, I feel like having a good village, big or small, is so important. Um, because you and I share that. We don't have like, you know, I do have a big family, but I feel like in my day-to-day, in my I mean, you know, I live a little bit further, we both live a little bit further from everybody, from everybody. Um, so um, it's hard, you know, and I get it. Everybody has their own lives. Like I don't feel any kind of way about it, but it is hard. I'm a single mom with two toddlers. I have a five-year-old and a two and a half year old, yeah, you know, and I have my hands full all of the time, you know. So I appreciate my village. I appreciate, you know, like the people who are there to support me, even just to check in or be like, hey, let me show, you know, yeah, one of my littles something. Or, you know, if my little hey, I want to call, I want to call TT. Like, you know, I'll be like, okay, and we'll FaceTime you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

I was gonna say, I feel the same way. I'm just I think we're very alike in a sense of that, but we're very different in a sense of that as well. So for me, yeah, huh? I agree.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Yeah, we are the responsible one, and I'm the one that's just always on a side quest somewhere. You could call me at any given moment. I'd be like, I'm in the desert hunting lizards.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Like I think, like, you know, and that's something I'm prioritizing for myself though, because I don't heal as fast as most people do from situations, and I've had so much like trauma over the years that I just felt like I can't heal properly. Um, so that's why I am prioritizing that. But for me, like sometimes I do take shit personally, like yeah, if people like family or friends, yeah, if it feels personal, like I will take that shit personally because the only time I ever do though is if it's expected from me. Don't don't expect it from me if I can't expect it from you. Yeah, so that's the only time I take shit personal because I'm like reciprocal. Yeah, other than that, like that's just mutual respect, like, and that goes for anyone in my life. Like, if you mutually expect me to like reach out to you, to come to you, or to see you, to like because I've even had like someone in my family, like my blood, who's like, Well, you don't ever call me, you don't ever do this, or you don't ever let me come see your kids. And I'm like, that's a boundary because for me, if you expect me to do it, you should be ex like you should expect yourself to make the same effort I'm making, right? So that's the only thing I would say. Not that we're I mean we're different, but we're like we have the same wants, but we're different in a way because of I have had um how do I put that? I don't wanna like I don't know if you had because you don't really speak a lot on it, but my family has burned the shit out of me in the past, so like my blood.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Honestly. If anything, I have probably been and I can take accountability, I've probably been the one to burn bridges the most in my family. Well, my relationships with people, not even just family, but friends too. And that's something that I am also processing and trying to heal from and understand um deeper why I why I made decisions that I've made in the past, what made me make those decisions and get to the core of that and um really try to grow into myself and as I've done with you, you're one of the people that I have hurt in the past, and I've put a lot of effort into our friendship and our relationship to show you that you can trust me and that you can depend on me and that I'll be there to support you. Yeah, but I also understand why, you know, whenever we um kind of reconnected that you couldn't put that trust in me. Yeah, and I understood that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yeah, um, so I mean the same way. Yeah, if I make mistakes, you know, you know me, I've apologized to so many people before, and sometimes you're overly apologetic, and you need to stop that shit because I hate it whenever you're like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

And I'm like, girl, stop because I wouldn't even think about that shit. I was over here thinking about a six piece six piece wing stop.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Uh you know what it's really been on my mind.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

I'm not a chick away. I'm not gonna lie though, you know, that's like a part of me. Like most most of my childhood was fight or flight. Like, I was just my yeah. So for me, like growing up, like I just had to be really responsible one, and that's just led into my adulthood, which most of the time, I'm not gonna lie, I have done things wrong. I have been very rude before to people when they didn't deserve it. I've you know, I've lied to people in the past, I've done things, but I have changed completely from that person. Right, set a lot of boundaries. I've I mean, I'm not you've done a lot of self-work too.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Yeah, like you are so proud of you because you really have done so good. Like, I mean, we've known each other for how long now? 11, 12 years. 11, 12 years, yeah. And I was what? I wasn't even another stuff. I am stuttering stuff every day. Um yeah, I was 17. So you've known me, yeah, 11, about to be 12 years. So I'm like, I feel like we have seen each other in a lot of different, you've probably seen me in more phases of life because I just have been unstable in certain parts. But um, I'll let you see. You've done you've done a lot of self-work, and I'm very proud of you.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Same. So have you. Thanks for proud of you.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

I'm really trying, you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

But I feel like that's where we hold each other accountable and boundaries. Yes, boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

We even that has nothing to do with like, I mean, I know it's the boundaries. But listen to this, each other set boundaries and keep our boundaries set.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

On a funny note, before we end this episode of boundaries, um, that sounded automated. Um, the other day, she was on a phone call with someone, her brother, my husband, and she wasn't answering my freaking phone calls. And so they finally answered whatever after like five minutes of me blowing her phone up, probably 30 times, maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

This past I have no idea. You called me a million times this week.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Like I was literally dying, and she didn't answer the phone. Um, but not really.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Um texted me, it's urgent.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

I do that sometimes because she's bad about well, most of the time she answers me, but sometimes she'd just be in a fucking mood and doesn't answer, and then I gotta tell her that I'm like, girl, either we have on the phone is outside on a balcony somewhere, and I'm inside trying to pull a child off of another child.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

I don't know, girl.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

I'll be all over the um well. And that's my boundary. And she needs to put her side bitch, her brother, to the side because I'm the motive.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

We he literally has known me his whole life. And I've no no he's so jealous.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

My whole life, he hangs up the phone, like he'll walk by and put you on mute while I'm on the phone with you because my phone's in the other room while I'm on my AirPod, and I'm like, bruh, stop. And he's like, Y'all talk too much.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

You know what? It's his fault for getting a dope ass wife, okay? Not my fault, his fault.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Yeah, I'm pretty dope, guys.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Yeah, but I feel like you know, we have said the word boundaries at least 236 times.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Boundaries.

unknown 30:25

Boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Um, yes, I hope that it burns into all of your brains how important boundaries are. And I feel like this episode was a lot more natural for us because we're able to, you know, whenever we do our true crime episodes, they're a little bit more structured because you know, we we're factual and we have to provide like documentation of like where we get where you get sued. Um so I really appreciate being able to do these kinds of episodes because I feel like we get to share ourselves too, and also if anything that we say makes somebody feel like seen or that they're not alone, I'm like that's a win.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

That is a win. And honestly, guys, that's kind of what we want to do, is like it's real world, real life. Mental health is so so important, and we know it's not sunshine and rainbows every freaking day of life, and sometimes you just need people to know that we understand you boundaries do need to be set, but we love we love people. Don't get me wrong, even though I'm like closed in, I'm a really shy person, that's why.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

But wait till she gets comfortable, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

You don't want to know. But um, no, for real though, even though like you could be the sweetest person, you could be the most closed-in person, boundaries are real. You should always hold yourself accountable, even if it's your own actions or others, someone else's actions, and just always be self-aware. And we're here, you know, we've been through it. I've made many mistakes in my life, I've lost many people in my life, but wife, life. Marie, you lost your wife. Man, um, but yeah, like just know you're not alone and just know that you have people who are flawed, heavily flawed. I'm not perfect whatsoever. Girl. And you can still find your people no matter what.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

And I feel like, and honestly, you and I have not talked about this. We probably should, I probably should tell you this, not on the podcast. But anyway, um, I feel like, you know, we do have a link for what like submission stories and stuff, yeah, which we can still do, you know, if you want to send in spooky stories, haunt, you know, haunting stories, true crime stories, things that have happened to you. Um, or if you want to share any kind of mental health awareness stories, I feel like that would be something that we could do if you feel like you want advice from us. I don't know why you would, but I would be down for yep. Yeah, send in any questions, comments, anything. Honestly, we could yep about any moves.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

That would actually be pretty fun, guys. Send in your questions, no matter what it is. It could be like, why do I take a shit on Tuesday? And I would be like, because shits on two days are I mean are cool. Yeah, I mean, shits on Mondays, nah. You're mid.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

Yeah. I feel like Tuesday is a better day. You know, you've already got Tuesday, and you know, you could think Taco Tuesday. Yeah, pretty good cleanse.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Put the hot sauce on there, and you'll be shitting in 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 33:39

I ate two hot Cheetos yesterday and was like, nope, I ain't putting myself through it.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

I love it. Um, but yes, guys, thank you so much for listening. I know it's a banter talk, but we appreciate you and we love you, TBT fans. Love you. It's so good to be back. Yes, see you later, alligators. Bye. Someone's mowing outside.