Episode 61 | Rudy Vasquez | From Addiction to Purpose: Stacking Wins and Reclaiming Life

In this episode of Rain Brings Growth, Matt sits down with Rudy Vasquez, barber, entrepreneur, father, and living proof that real transformation happens one decision at a time.

Rudy shares his powerful story of battling alcohol addiction, struggling with obesity, being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, and spending years convincing himself he was a “functioning alcoholic.” What started as a simple conversation in a barbershop turned into a life-changing fitness journey that forced him to confront hard truths, take accountability, and ultimately choose a different path.

Through fitness, sobriety, and personal growth, Rudy discovered that healing isn't about focusing on everything that went wrong. It's about stacking wins. From waking up early, showing up for his family, building a successful barbering career, and finally facing the trauma he spent years trying to numb, Rudy opens up about the lessons that changed his life.

Matt and Rudy discuss addiction, mental health, fitness, accountability, entrepreneurship, childhood trauma, emotional growth, and the mindset shift that helped Rudy break free from destructive habits after more than two decades of drinking.

This episode is about choosing growth over excuses, finding purpose through discipline, and learning how to celebrate the small victories that eventually change your entire life.

Topics discussed:

Rudy Vasquez's transformation story
Alcohol addiction and sobriety
Type 2 diabetes and health struggles
Fitness, accountability, and weight loss
Mental health and emotional healing
Childhood trauma and personal growth
Building confidence through discipline
Barbering and entrepreneurship
Family, fatherhood, and responsibility
The power of stacking wins

Follow Rudy Vasquez:
Instagram: @vasquez_kutz3
Location: Idaho

Subscribe to Rain Brings Growth for more real conversations about faith, family, fitness, adversity, entrepreneurship, and the stories behind the success people call “must be nice.”

#RainBringsGrowth #RudyVasquez #SobrietyJourney #FitnessTransformation #AddictionRecovery #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #Entrepreneurship #BarberLife #StackTheWins

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

People forget we're stuck in this mind state of you know just stacking those oh my god this happened and this shut the fuck up man stack the W's baby you woke up today your babies are safe you're safe right rents paid maybe you don't have money in your pocket but goddamn it you got a place to live. Yeah you know what I mean? Do you have food at home? You can't take your kids out? Don't worry about it, you got food at home. Stack those fucking W's, man. People gotta stop being so goddamn negative.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Thanks for coming back on. Episode 48 with Rudy. Yes, sir. It was uh it was a fun one. I don't know what happened. TikTok didn't like all our swearing or something, but they didn't push it up. It's like we're doing it again.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

I knew it. I knew my cuzzed too much, man. People tell me that, but I can't. I'm passionate. What can I do? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Great. Yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do, man. Um, but it's like gotta be yourself. So yeah, that's right. Yeah, dude. Um one a couple things we didn't cover last time is obviously you're my barber. That's how I met you. I it was like Thanksgiving Day. It was, yep. And uh I just met you there, and then a couple months about it was probably like a month later, I went in and get a haircut, and then I realized that you needed a trainer and I needed a haircut, and then we've just been Yeah, that was uh It was at New Year's.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

It was after New Year's Remember we were having a conversation and you were telling me about um how you were doing the the online training, um, and then you had mentioned one of your clients, and um, and I remember you asking me, uh, do you have any uh goals for the new year? And I'll be I'll be honest, bro. I did I wasn't even trying to get involved in by in in in gym at all. I was just kind of like talking out of my ass, man. I was just like, oh yeah, you know, I mean I genuinely I did want to go on a little health journey. And um, man, I have been I have been I have been wanting to stop drinking for a long time because I was drinking severely. Um and obviously, you know, being overweight and stuff, especially in in in the in the barber thing, you know, you you're on your feet all day, your back hurts. Um you didn't really think that you were drinking that bad, right, before? Like you didn't think it was like I mean I knew I knew it was bad. I just uh I I I had this um I had this vision in my head. I think I romanticized myself a little bit. Um I always I always said I was a functioning alcoholic, right? Um be at work, I made sure I was at work. Um whenever my kids needed me, which is you know, morning, night, after everything. I drop them off the squad, pick them up. So um, you know, everything was on me and I was handling everything. I was taking care of everything. And, you know, I wasn't getting into any trouble. I I'm not a bar drinker. I literally go through my day, pick up a case on the way home, uh, and uh, and then sit at home and drink and watch movies with the kids and chop it up and stuff. Uh and I I thought, you know, I thought I was a functioning alcoholic for a long time. I didn't realize till um after I made the decision uh to just completely cold turkey it. Um I didn't realize until then um because my my girl told me uh how bad I really was. But yeah, I didn't I didn't think I had a a huge issue, man. Um you know I had a uh I had been diagnosed with uh type 2 diabetes. Um now I gotta be some kind of stupid because I didn't put those together, right? I was never like I never thought, damn, if my drinking's giving me diabetes, right? Or I put myself in a position where I could I I got diabetes from just severely drinking all the time. I honestly thought it was just I'm a fat ass. You know what I mean? Like I'm just I'm I'm overweight and this, you know, I never put it together, man. So um when you asked me that day, I I in in in in all honesty, bro, I was just making conversation. Um and I was like, yeah, you know, I kind of want to go back in the gym, but man, I had I had I had gotten a gym membership to Planet Fitness before they even opened. I got a pre- I pre-ordered one. And I had it for like three or four years. I never stepped, I still don't know what the inside of Planet Fitness looks like, bro. I never once, but I was paying every month on that motherfucker, right? Just thinking, I'll go, I'll go. And I never did, bro. I just never had the motivation. I never I honestly never wanted it that bad. And so I was just kind of making conversation, and then when it came up, like, hey, let's trade services and shit. I still was just making conversation. I didn't think it was gonna lead to nothing, bro. And it wasn't until you you basically held me accountable where I was like, damn, I guess I have to do this now, you know what I mean? Um, and it sucked at first, it really did, man. I dragged myself into the gym. It's not something that I enjoyed at all, bro. I was just like, fuck, man. Because I just wasn't in that mode. Um, but with time, man, it just became something that just it's normal to me. You know, if I don't go, it feels like my day feels off.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

How long do you think it took you before you started feeling like you were getting into it? Um less hate it.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna say it was probably I'm gonna say I I think I can I think say it was like six months, dude. Because I struggled really hard for those first for those first, you know, five, five and a half months.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Um I remember the one of the issues with you was that we weren't having an easy time tracking food.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

Yeah. I still don't, dude. I am horrible at it, bro. And it really it comes down to me just being fucking hard headed, man. Hard head. I know I know the value behind it. Um, but it's just I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

I'm so hard-headed, bro, that I'm just like Well, and you were also still drinking, and you didn't track tracking the drinks. You weren't tracking your alcohol.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

It wasn't until you said something one day, and you're like, are you writing those down? And I was like, Am I supposed to? You're like, yeah, bro, there's calories in that. I'm like, and then when I that was that was the first like light bulb moment when you said that, bro, because then later, you know, at that point you would I I had learned what macros were. I had heard about all this stuff forever, dude. I just I could never really understand it, bro. And it wasn't until you broke it down for me that I was like, okay, cool. I kind of get it now. And uh, and then when I started looking at it, and I was like, man, every beer I drink is I think it was 120 calories per beer, and I'm smashing 18 to 24 a day, bro. A day religiously. I mean, I was I was drinking my calories for the in just you know, just in beer. And I mean, you know what beer, you know, when you get drunk, bro, it's late night snacking, right? Uh, you feel horrible in the morning type stuff, man. And yeah, it wasn't until then when I started breaking it down, like, oh damn, I think this is I think this is the issue. You know? I think this is uh this is one of those and it and and even then I still didn't stop, man. You know what I mean? It was just it was one of those things, man, where um I was just so used to it, bro. I mean, I I started drinking when I was like 12. You know what I mean? I've I've been I've been drunk more than I have been sober in my life. You know what I mean? Um Yeah, man, I was just I I I spoke about it for years and years, bro. Spoke on it and uh I waited tried to wake Marissa up at three in the morning. Sometimes like three, four in the morning, drunk as shit. Just just you know, nodding off, and I'm just like, babe, I don't want to, I was just telling her, I don't want to drink anymore, I'm done, bro. And the next day, Brahm just right back into it, you know. But for years I wanted it, man, and uh it's weird how our body forgets about pain.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

You just remember the good times. Yeah. Which is uh it's kind of cool to think about it like that because if you can switch flip the script of like putting yourself through pain to get the good things in life, you're gonna forget about it, you know, like this bodybuilding prep sucked. But I'll I'll forget about all the times where I just didn't want to do it, but I'll remember like what was on stage or like when a when a woman goes through pregnancy and they're like, you know, going through major pain, but somehow like their brain blocks that out and they want to have more kids later.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

Yeah, this is a beautiful miracle out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

But your but your brain, like you don't remember those times where you're just puking your guts out, pray to the porcelain gods, and then you're like, Oh, yeah, yeah. But I do remember the fun time for that hour, but I don't yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

Yeah, you know what? It was never even fun, bro. It was never even like the crazy thing is, bro, it's like um, I'm almost a year now, sober, right? Which is crazy to me. Um in that year I've I've I've grown so much mentally in that one year, bro. That it it's crazy to me how stunted I was for that when I was 35 when I stopped. So it's 23 years drinking, you know, stunted bro, emotionally, mentally, right? Just stunning, man. And now I look back on those things and I and I realize all these issues that I have um stem from that, right? Like, um like I I I spoke to you about something uh probably like a month or two ago, how I genuinely think I have um an eating disorder. Um and it's and it's and it's because like uh I just remember during that whole time of me drinking, man, I uh I would starve myself. Right? And and uh and it sucks, dude. Anyone that anyone that's felt like a a starve starvation, man, it it's uh you get nauseous, cold sweats, like it sucks and it hurts. You know what I mean? But I I I almost grew to like it, to love it, right? I I I I I remember just mentally thinking like this feels right. You know what I mean? Like this pain that I'm feeling. It almost I almost did it to make myself feel something, right? Feel alive because I was I I feel like I was dead inside from from a lot of trauma that I had growing up and shit. Um and I think that's why I used alcohol so much, man. It's just trying to get away from that, bro. I've healed so much being sober because you have to face it, right? And it's a beautiful thing facing trauma. Um you're able to just let it go and and start new and start fresh, right? And get a vibrance from life that you just never had, right? 23 years, bro, drinking, and um I've never in that time I've I never I never had a day that was worth you know in those 23 years, those 23 years weren't worth a day that I have now, right? Because now I take everything in, bro, from I wake up early, man, and I'm on it, right? Gym, four in the morning, I'm fucking on it, bro. I'm at the shop, right? I'm waking everyone up in the morning. Come on, guys, just get up, just have breakfast, right? Never did that before, bro. There's a vibrance in life. There's there's the life is back in me, bro. You know what I mean? Like my soul is alive again. Um, I didn't and it it sucks to it's dope, but it kind of sucks because I'm like, damn, man, 23 years, bro, it took me that long to like snap out of it. But we're here now, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Yeah. Well, you see some people in like your 60s, 70s, they're still alcoholics. So I mean, oh you take care of it in your 30s, whatever, you're good.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

Right, right, right, man. And you gotta and you gotta take those wins when you when you do stuff like that, you know. But um if we had never gone on this journey, I I don't I really don't think I ever would have stopped drinking, bro. Um everything directly, I mean, you say, you know, we're talking about me barbering, dude. Best decision I ever made in my life, dog. Uh, everything that I have in life now, man, and anyone that knows me, uh, you know, um intimately as a person, um, they know where I've come from, dog. They know that, you know, what the dirt that I came from and uh and how much I struggled, bro. And um it wasn't until I did the barbering thing, man, and and it was tough at first, but I've been blessed, bro. I'm going on three years um professionally, and uh I've done more in these three years, bro, than I've done in my whole life, right? Um just suc just the success that I've had with it.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Um Yeah, I think last time we left off, you You were talking about the pharmacy, pharmacy tech, and that didn't work out. Mm-hmm. Um because you had you were wanting to have sticky fingers. Oh yeah, oh yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

It was that it was that criminal element of my life, man, that um just would rear its head, right? I don't know if we ever we ever talked on what you did after that though. Man, I did everything, bro. I mean, uh I can I could probably it'd be easier to name things I didn't work in than the things I did, bro. I just worked in everything you could think of, man, from restaurants to concrete, uh to construction work. Um I worked at Jalobi Jungle for a while taking cars, car parts, you know, and cars apart and stuff, and uh uh what else. You guys find some wild stuff and take cars apart? Oh, bro, there was some crazy shit, man, where they would bring cars in. And I was a the forklift guy, so I'd have to take the cars off the semis and bring them in. I'd be the first one that got to take a look at them, bro. And uh there was some that you could there were car accidents, right? So they had the the caution tape around them and just blood all over the windshields and shit. It was crazy, man.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Oh, really? They don't even clean that up before they take it. Any of the blood, you know?

SPEAKER_03 13:33

They take that shit in and then you put those aside because you know there's biohazards and shit. Um, and those get crushed. They probably get bullet holes and everything all in them. All kinds of shit, bro. And those get crushed directly, right? Everything else, uh, the mechanics kind of get first dibs on everything. So it goes in the shop, they start taking engine and all that shit. Um, they go through the inside. So if there's like I mean, you get like iPads and there's money, bro, dope, like all kinds of shit people leave, right? In in Rex, and so they kind of get first dibs on that.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

So the cops don't go through them unless it's like a criminal scene, and they if it's like a if it's like car crash and it goes to the tow yard.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

Especially if you're finding like the dope and shit, but yeah. Um That's wild. I mean, that's kind of shit we found, right? I mean, iPads and shit like that, you know. And I'm no stranger to it because back when um when I was with my ex-wife, I mean back when we were dating, actually, her her dad was uh a mechanic and he worked for um uh uh parts place over in Ontario and he would bring shit home all the time, dog, iPads and all that kind of shit um that he would find in cars, you know what I mean? So I'm guessing I think it it probably depends on what happened, yeah, if they're gonna thoroughly go through the thing or not. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 14:47

I just met a buddy that he well he became a buddy, but he also just he sells stuff, but he um his wife's a repo agent for cars, and so once someone doesn't make their payment after a certain amount of days, they go and get the car, and then they have a certain amount of days after that to come and get their collectibles or whatever, and if they don't, then it's theirs. And he has got a laundry basket full of iPads and laptops and Apple watches, Apple phones, like different kinds of cell phones and stuff. And oh yeah, he's like, bro, take your pick, like I'll make you good deals. You know, like how'd you get all this? And he tells me like he's he does he does oil between Alaska and Texas, and then when he's home in between on his like three weeks off, he just you know collects all this stuff that his wife gets and then he just sells it. And I'm like, damn, what a sick job. That's cool. That's good to connect. I like that. Yeah, that's what I was interested when you talk about like taking cars apart. I'm like, you probably find some cool stuff.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Oh, dude, we did, bro. It was crazy, man. It was um I remember there was a big like uh the ambulance box, right? That goes on the back of the cab and shit. And um, I I was in there, man. I was looking through everything. I was like, I'm one of those dudes that I'm super curious, bro. If I jump into something, I'm kind of like, man, every time I go to see a doctor, bro, if I go to a dentist, my lady's always like, yo, stop grabbing shit, right? And I'm just like going through drawers, I'm like, what's in here and shit? I'm not trying to steal shit. Yeah, you know, I'm just like curious. So I always would jump in and be like, is there anything cool? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 16:13

And my wife was always like when when she would have a baby, she's like, take everything because they're gonna charge us for all this shit anyway. Oh, I did do that with my kids.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Hell yeah. Hell yeah, I did. When my daughter was born, uh, they give us a little ribbons, and I grabbed a handful of them bitches like all the diapers on that car, everything.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

You guys can charge me for anyways.

SPEAKER_03 16:30

Yeah, hell yeah, brother. You gotta take all you can get.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

That's a real burglary right there.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Hell yeah, bro. Yeah, man. Um, yeah, I did all kinds of work, bro. Um, at one point I had uh I think it was two jobs, maybe three. Because I was I was trying to help my mom catch up on her bills and take care of my baby at the same time. And um, so I remember there was uh a time period where um my mom would watch my kids for me. So I would I'd wake up at 6:30, get them ready, take them to the babysitters, be at the job, uh doing concrete work at like 7 or 7.30, be done by about 3.30, go home, or go pick the babies up, go uh go to my mom's pad, uh, take a shower really quick, eat something, spend like 20 minutes with the kids, and then I'm taking off, bro, and I'm working until 2-3 in the morning at Jack in the Box. And just to try to make extra money, come home, sleep a few hours, get up, do it all over again, right? And I did that for a while, man, just trying to help my mom catch back up on bills and stuff too again, and um you know, just there's been a lot of sacrifice um for for for my kids, bro, and and uh a lot of that came with work, man, always picking, you know, kind of higher end jobs so that I could make more money for them. But you know, the one thing, bro, uh uh and it's always been the same is um anytime I ever try to uh get a new job or or look into getting a new job, it's I always consult my kids, bro. Even when when they were little, bro. When they were little, my daughter was like five years old. The first time I consulted my baby, you know, I'm thinking about getting this other job. Here's the pros, here's the cons. Are you cool with it or not? You know, and depending on what they said, then I'd either go for it or I wouldn't. You know what I mean? Um, and it was always just like the next thing. And I'm I'm one of those guys, bro. The reason I've had so many jobs is not because of anything other than I get I get bored. I get bored doing something. I did uh I did uh automotive paint for like four years at one point. Really? Probably one of my favorite jobs, automotive paint, and we and I was doing the the graphics, the the um H2O dipping, right? The water dip. We'll have to talk about my truck outside then. Yeah, oh dude, I used to do some crazy work, man. That was probably one of my funnest jobs. But I've done all kinds of work, bro. Everything, man. Once um once I stopped working at the pharmacy, and um, you know, I had a moment where um man, I I I used to take the pills to try them before I'd sell them, right? And uh I crossed one time, man. I don't I don't remember what I crossed. Um and uh I was pretty bad, bro. I was pretty banged up. Um I was actually my mom had taken me to church and I was cold sweating, man. I was just like in and out, so I ended up going outside and laying in the car. She came out, we went home, man, and I remember just dragging myself to the bathroom to throw up on the floor, just crawling, man. I go in there, I close the door, I'm throwing up, and I remember I had this just this conversation with uh with God, and uh just you know, you have those moments where like when you're super drunk or super stoned, you're looking in the mirror and like call talking to yourself, you're like, dude, don't we're done, we're not doing this anymore. So I kind of had that, but it was God, bro. And and I asked him, you know, God, if if you don't want me to to do this anymore, if you don't want me to sell, you know, illicit things or in drugs, do you if you want me to end this, just give me a sign. All I need is a sign and it's over. And uh, and I remember, man, at that moment the light flickered. As soon as I asked that question, it flickered. I was in the bathroom, it flickered, never flickered before, and it never flickered after, bro. But it just like a like a real nice flicker, man, and it just felt like like he was speaking to me. And that moment, bro, I opened that door, I went into my room and I grabbed this little suitcase I used to have. It was my little pharmacy, and I just started dumping shit, bro, into the to the to the shitter, you know, the toilet, man. And I remember my little brother walked past and he and he looks in there and he's like, What are you doing? I said, I'm getting rid of these, bro. God said he doesn't want me to do this anymore, and I'm done. He comes rushing in and he's like, Well, let me have it, let me have it. And I was like, No, no, no, no, I'm not getting you involved in this. We're done with this lifestyle, bro. And he was like, Well, I want to make money too, right? Like, why why would you throw him away? I can make money. And I was like, No, we're not doing this, we're not making money like this anymore. This is it. We're done with this shit, right? And that was legit the last time I ever sold anything, bro. I was done after that. I was like, I'm not working at a pharmacy, I'm not putting myself in a position to lose again, you know? And I'm not selling dope and I'm not selling pills, I'm not selling shit anymore, bro. I'm gonna do this the right way, you know? And I could have gone and still worked at a pharmacy and just held, you know, if I held my kelp myself accountable. I wasn't strong enough, bro, and that's why I was like, I'm gonna, I'll do everything but that. And I did every job I could, man. Whatever people would offer me, I shoveled shit, right? Horse horse poop as a job one time. Like, whatever people needed from me, dog. Side work is doing little mechanic jobs, um, whatever I could, man. Just whatever I could, dude. It was just I just needed to keep myself, you know, doing something, man. And I just I never wanted to go back to life. And thank God, you know, um, I've never Never have. I it's there's been a lot of times where I've been like, I'm in the jam. You know, I'm broke. I I don't know how I'm gonna feed my kids. And uh it's just like it'd be easy to pull a jack move real quick, you know, go right back to that life, man.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

What was the biggest what was the biggest like job that you ever did? Did you ever did you ever do anything like I don't know, like um like a big drug thing or uh like a big transaction.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

Um biggest one I did because I learned a lot from looking at my or watching my uncles and cousins do their thing, right? Everyone get popped. Just moving too much weight, right? Or or not being vigilant enough or whatever. So I kind of always made myself just I'm gonna do small work. And if I don't have to touch work, then I won't touch work, right? I'd have like kind of like my own little team and delegate, right? I'm delegating to you what you're gonna tell them to do. Subcontracting your drug work so because I I wanted to space myself out from the work as far as possible, yeah. Right? So that just to give myself a better chance. It was just something that I was like, I see my cousins do it, I kind of want to try to do this better, right? So um, it was always small amounts, bro. It was nothing crazy. I think the biggest thing I ever did was um I was probably like three grand in pills. Really? In pills, man. It was um yeah, it was pills were popping a lot, a lot, and this was uh like oxies or what? Yeah, oxies were popping, bro. It was 2000 in the tens.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yeah, fentanyl wasn't even a thing, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:43

No, I don't remember hearing it back then. You know what I mean? Um it was crazy because like I'm dropping off these oxies, bro, and um, they were selling for I think at that point, I think it was a dollar a milligram, right? Um and I'm dropping them off, bro, and I and uh homeboy's counting them out. He's counting I'm counting on my money, and I see dude in the background, and he's crushing it, putting it on a on a spoon, and cooking it, and then he's like smoking it with uh like a like a pen, right? Like you take the pen apart and it's just like the tube. And I was like, what the fuck is he doing, bro? Like, I thought they were popping these fucking things, bro. Cause it was like a group of four or five of them. I think they put their money together because I cut them a really good deal, right? They were getting them for a dollar a milligram. I was selling them for far cheaper. Because I'm just trying to move work. I'm just like, it don't mean nothing to me, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Were you getting those from the pharmacy? Or was it something else?

SPEAKER_03 24:41

No, that was something else.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

That was something else. Um, but it was I was trying to fast track them, just get them out, yeah. Um, and uh seeing them smoke it, I was I was like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Because it's an opiate, so it's like heroin at other point.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Pop them, dog. What are we doing? Why are you smoke, right? Yeah, that's when I realized like, damn, these are these are you know, this is this I'm selling meth. You know what I mean? Basically, like this is crazy. I'd never seen somebody do that shit. And that kind of was like, damn. You know what I mean? It was one of those things where it was that was one of my last one of my last ones that I did because that that kind of fucked me up. I was like, shit, man, am I gonna fucking you know, somebody gonna take too much? Like that's crazy. Because I remember when I first got that drop, I popped it myself. I popped one myself. I I've always been the dude that whatever came my way for me to push out, I always tried it first because I wanted to know the quality, right? Um, so I popped one. I remember I didn't wake up for like like 36 hours, bro. I woke up like a day and a half later. I thought it was still the same day, and I was like, damn, what time is it? And he told me, I was like, Alright, I've been out for like an hour and a half. They're like, no, bro, that was a day and a half ago, homie. Like, that was a long time. I was like, damn, bro. So for them to be smoked, I was like, this is not kosher, homie, this is wild, right? And I just didn't want to be a part of that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

You know, did you ever feel any guilt for like if someone got popped after you had sold them? Or if they like over not overdose, but if they ever had like anything. I had a guy on here before and and uh he was selling people drugs and then he changed his life up, but then he would see them later on and in like the prisons or anything like that, because he would go out there and talk to them and stuff, and he would feel guilt because he felt like he was someone that contributed to like their demise. Um, you know what, dude?

SPEAKER_03 26:35

I never felt anything. Um, and that stems from um uh one of my uncles, bro. Uh he was like a father to me. He is like a father to me, actually, he's still around. Um he did some Fed time, and uh when he came out, man, he did tell me one day that he felt really responsible for uh some of his high school friends that later on in life he ended up selling to. And one of them overdosed, you know, um, and a lot of them were doing were down bad, and and he was like, you know, I feel guilt over that. And and and from that interaction, I kind of it was one of those things where I was like, that's you know, it was it was a learning curve for me because I was like, all right, I gotta have I have to I have to kill off that piece of myself that feels anything. This is business, this is money, you know what I mean? Like I'm just I'm doing this to to better my situation. Because I was coming from some a severely broken home and a single mother who was struggling, trying to trying to keep her oldest son on on the fucking rails, you know what I mean? And and and raised two younger sons and a daughter that was in college, you know what I mean? So um I I've always been a I think I always was a selfish person. Um like that. I I'm not like that anymore. Um but I I just remember being very, very selfish and just being like, it's about what it's about mine. I gotta do what I have to do for mine, you know what I mean? So I've never felt that way, bro. But um, in that same sense, I always kind of felt like um I was a responsible. I was more responsible than than some you know dealers because I was taking that first hit, right? It didn't matter what it was, I'm taking it. Right? Because I wanna, I wanna, I wanna feel that shit. I want to see what I want to know what you're gonna feel. Because if this is dog shit and this makes me sick or this puts me somewhere, I'm not selling it to everybody else. Yeah, you know what I mean? What it was one, it was pride. I I I wanted the best shit, right? I wanted to be known as selling good shit. And two, I wanted to be responsible to be like, okay, I'm not putting dog shit on the streets, right? This has to be clean enough. Um, and I always sold small amounts, so it's hard for somebody to to to OD, right? Or or have a reaction like that when you're just selling small amounts, dog. Right? And it's easier to carry a smaller amount, as well as conceal it, um, and get rid of it in in a moment of right? Oh shit, somebody's popping, cool, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:10

So like that's the scary part about fentanyl now, is like a small, small amount and you're done.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

Yeah, you know, it's different times, man. You know, uh 20 years ago, somebody said you want a bump. I was like, fuck it, right? Actually, it's funny. I I just had somebody just offered me a bump the other day. I went to a wedding on Saturday, bro. The wildest thing I haven't seen dude in 15 years, probably, right? Um comes up, shakes my hand. It's six o'clock in the afternoon. I just remember thinking, You're already drunk, homie? Like the ceremony just ended. We're eating, you're already drunk. This is crazy, right? And and and it's it's a part of myself, and I got I gotta chill because I I'm kind of an asshole um judging people that drink, which is wild. I don't know why I do it. Um, but just being sober now, I'm just kinda like, man, why are you why are you drunk right now? I would have been in the same damn boat a year ago, dog. I gotta stop that shit. I'm gonna hold myself accountable. Um, but I just think it right and we're walking around and stuff, and he's offering me everyone's all offering me alcohol. Hey, do you want a drink, bro? You want I'm like, no, no, I'm good. Um, and he was just like, you know, you want to toot? And I'm like, I'm grown on me. Those days are over. I'm not doing that shit, right? And it's it's different, man. You you gotta think about that shit now, man. You you you can't just people can't just freely take shit now, bro. It's just that that one time could be the last time. You know what I mean? That fentanyl's it's crazy out here, bro. Back in the day, man, I had cousins who would cook shit. You know, and they cook good shit, and and they would peace me off, and I'd go and just no no charge, bam, bam, bam, try that, and it's a hook, right? And then success. You know what I mean? But nah, but we the fentanyl things is uh it's scary, man. It's it's it's scary, it's out of control. And um, yeah, I don't know, man. It's it's a hard, hard world to be in right now. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Back in your day, was there any drug that you didn't like hit lying in the sand? I'm not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Heroin, bro. That was the one thing I was like, if I if I gotta put a needle in, I'm out, dog. Not doing that shit. Right? If I can if I can smoke it, pop it.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

So just injectables, because right, right.

SPEAKER_03 31:25

I'm not doing injectables, right? Because you can smoke heroin, but oh I guess so. Yeah, I never thought of that. I'm not saying for me, it was uh and I think it was just growing up with movies, watching people, yeah. Yeah, I was like, mm-mm, bruh. Right? So for me, I thought it was I didn't even realize you could smoke it. Don't smoke it, guys. It's nasty shit, man. Be be sober sober.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

So what was it that turned you away from doing drugs? You kept you kept uh doing, you know, sm you kept drinking, but like what was it then that just God moment in the bathroom like you're like I'm done?

SPEAKER_03 31:57

Yeah, yeah, that was it, man. It was just it just felt like um, you know what, bro? I don't think I've ever thought of it actually. You know, I guess, yeah. My mind was only set on the on, you know, I'm done doing them, done selling them too. You know what I mean? It was just one of those things where it was like, it's enough. You know, and and I didn't want to catch Fed time. I was just about to have my first baby, you know, my oldest, my daughter, and just had a realization I but yeah, I never stopped drinking, man. It was just I don't know, drinking's one of those things that's was embedded in me, you know, from a child, obviously. You know, and you always speak on it, bro. And and I like that you speak on it. It's uh, you know, we watch we we we see what our what our parents are doing, and that kind of forms who we're gonna be. You know what I mean? And um, and that was, you know, my dad was just a daily drinker. I will say he was never as bad as me. I remember my mom, you know, going and buying a six-pack and kill off a six-pack. That was light work, bro. That was introduction for the afternoon, right? A six-pack was not it was like half, like I am, I'm done in like half an hour with a six-pack dog. It was bad. I mean, it was just like yeah, it was it was bad, man. And uh, but it was just seeing that it was normalized, right? Every time we were somewhere, a party, and still, it's still kind of normalized. Normalized in in my culture, right? Where um I think a lot more people are c becoming hip to it, and and now they're starting to put on like um invitations for kids' parties, right? Like no drinking for the day. You know what I mean? Which is it's kind of cool. I used to be like, You fucking dick, bro. What do you mean? We can't have a party without drinking. You see sure as shit you can, bro. You know, it's just we're so used to that. That that's kind of just what we do, right? Um I have an addictive personality, bro. And um when I'm when I'm on something, you know, like like that was beer for me, bro. It was just I don't know, man. It was just something I look forward to every day. You know what I mean? And um, I think it just numbed me. Um I I used to think, you know, it makes me normal, it makes me kind of function. And I I I used to blame my kids all the time and be like, you guys stress me the fuck out. So I you know, I have to drink. It was never the case, man. I was just trying to numb myself from the inside so that I wouldn't feel the things that I was feeling. Because I went through a point in time before I met Marissa where I spent time away from dating and I spent time away from everything else, other than I just wanted to spend time with my kids, get closer to my children, um, and I spent time just killing off portions of myself so that I could um survive, honestly. Because I'd gone through a a bad marriage, um, and we hurt each other a lot, you know? And um it took me it took me a long time, bro, to finally get to a point where I was like, I have to be done with this. I can't be in the corner waiting for somebody, right? And it was uh it was it was almost like mourning a friend, dog, right? Like the person that you know is dead, right? The person you met and you fell in love with is gone, it's not the same person, just like you're not the same person, right? Um, and so I went to a point in time where I was just killing off emotions in myself, so I wouldn't feel anything. And the and the alcohol helped me so much with that, right? To get to a point to where I couldn't feel anything anymore. So if somebody said something to hurt my feelings, didn't matter. That part of me didn't live, it wasn't, it was dead, and I didn't feel it anymore, you know? Um, and it sucked because that's when I met Marissa. So Marissa got the worst part of me, bro. The poorest part of me. I used to be uh romantic, poetry, right? Yeah, Valentine's Day, all rose petals on the entrance, all the way to the back tubs, shit like that, bro. When she met me, I was cold, dead inside, dog, like trying to start new. And she never wavered, always just stuck around, always stuck around, bro. And um, I don't know how she stuck around. I was I got I had no feelings, bro. I used I was an asshole. And um, but I used alcohol kind of to help me get through those those tough moments, you know what I mean? Um I realized now it was just weakness, man. It was just I was I was I was I was pushing away something I needed to resolve, right? A lot of that I've been able to resolve in this last year, um, not drinking, right?

SPEAKER_00 36:33

And uh And Marissa wasn't a drinker, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:36

Nah, she's never been a drinker, bro.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

She doesn't do shit, she really So she was dealing with you as a shell of a man and you were drinking a lot and I had kids, yeah, and I had two baby moms, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Um and uh oh she she she's been uh she's been an angel, bro. She's been an angel to me. And matter of fact, when we met, bro, she was she didn't even cuss. Right? Like I was I'm such a bad influence, bro. So bad, man. And she just I don't know, she saw something in me, bro. She saw, she saw, I think she saw a potential, you know, and um I think she saw she saw my heart. You know what I mean? How big it is, and and uh she stuck around, bro. And and I'm super glad she did because um Oh man, dude. It's just the journey's been great, man. It's it's it's been it's been tough. Um, but I I wouldn't be where I am without her. I I honestly I wouldn't. The barbering thing, bro. I never would have gone to barber school.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

Yeah, well, what made you what made you leave and start looking into that area?

SPEAKER_03 37:35

I had I had looked into it, bro, uh 2018. First time, I think 2018, 2019. It was right before the pandemic. I had gone, I'd taken a tour, and um, it was one of those things where I went and I I was I I I was having my son's haircut. My daughter had an undercut, so my barber was doing her and then she was doing mine, and I was paying like a buck something. 100 and something dollars. I'm broke, broke, dog. And this is you know, I'm pushing these out every six months, man. I'm trying my best to I look shaggy, but I'm like, I can't afford this, right? And I'm just sitting here like, man, that took him an hour and a half. So I started talking to my barber, and I had I had been I had cut hair in in high school, right? Nothing crazy, right? But like my neighborhood, we didn't have no barbers, dude. There was one barber in the Plymouth, and it was an older gentleman, and all he gave was military, right, high tops and like high fades, dog. So, and we can afford barber, right? Like, so I would just cut everyone in the neighborhood up. No big deal, and um, so I you know, throughout my and then during the pandemic, I I I used to cut my nephews and stuff up, and uh I I I man just working so many jobs, I got so tired of having bosses, bro. Being a single pop, you know what I mean? Like my kids get sick, um at school, before school, whatever, like I have to take the time off. I have to be there for my babies, you know, and uh as a man, dude, no one understands that in the workforce. No one does. You know what I mean? Like, you're supposed to be this hard shell, this hard motherfucker, right? You can be, but those are my babies, dog. You know what I mean? So I just got tired of of the bullshit of being like, hey dude, I gotta go pick up my baby, you know, she's sick or he's sick, and and and the look that they would give me, right? Which is it's it's one of those shameful things where it's like, I guess do what you gotta do, right? And it's like, damn man, like I'm trying to be a father, yeah, and it's so hard because when a woman does it, not and I'm not trying to like, but let's be realistic here, right? When a woman asks for time off to be able to, it's totally fine, right? That's expected of her, right? You expect a woman to to take care of the babies and and be there for them when they're sick and take them to their to their appointments and and and all that shit, right? I did all that shit, bro. I had to do all that stuff. And oh, and it wasn't because I I didn't I had to, but I wanted to, man. I I I all I ever had was my kids, bro. And uh I just got tired of it, and so I I was thinking of ways, how the fuck do I do this without you know, like how can I make this work financially? And I was like, I gotta start a business somewhere. So I was kind of kicking things around. Uh uh a taco truck was one, um, and I would like cater events from time to time. Um uh mechanics was another one. I mean, I had already done, you know, a little bit of it um doing the the car part thing, and um in my head, I was like, I I need to do something people always need, right? They're gonna need a mechanic all the time. I always need a mechanic, that's for damn sure, right? Um, but then watching my barber do his thing, bro, I was like, I I think I can do barbering too. And so um I chopped it up with him, and and he was cool enough to like give me some lessons as he was cutting my kids' hair and stuff. And I sat on it for a while, bro. I kept talking shit, saying, Oh, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go check it out. I never did, man. And um and then one day I was like, you know what? Uh because in the big thing, bro, was I I I thought that it was only Bone Barber School, and I thought it was Barber, Boise Barber College. It's a Boise dog. I got I have a job in Caldwell. I gotta drop my kids off in school in Caldwell, and then I live in Nampa. Like I didn't have the time to do all that. And when I found out Paul Mitchell had one here in Nampa, I thought Paul Mitchell was a chick school, right? Like, I thought it was long hair. Found out, I went and checked him out, I did the tour. Um, and uh at the end of it, they were like, oh yeah, you know, you just gotta do FAFSA and this and this. And then it hit me, I was like, damn. I have I have loans out still from pharmacy school. So right then and there, um I just quit. You know? I've been a quitter my whole life, bro. When when when when somebody says no, I take that and I and I walk away. Every time. I never eh no, hey, well let me turn nah bro, it's just okay, it's a no, I'm out. So right then I was like, well, that's never gonna happen. You know what I mean? And I let it go. And uh it was uh during the uh during the pandemic, I was looking for a job, man, because I got laid off. And uh they just happened to call me. Some dude, and he was like, hey, are you still interested in going to barber school? And I was like, I don't know, bro. Um I don't I don't know that I can get the uh the the the loans for it. Um and I got kids, man. I'm kind of old, like I just don't think I have the time for it anymore, you know? In my head, I was like, bro, I'm too old for this shit to go back to school. I got two kids, man. You know what I mean? Like we were living in a uh uh a little one-bedroom studio, uh, not even like apartment, it was a it was a shed. It was a shed in back of a property behind a trailer. You know what I mean? Like it was, I think it was might have been the size of this actual studio, bro. We lived there and we were there for five years. Me, the two kids, and uh, and Marissa um in the later years, just shoulder to shoulder, bro. And uh during the pandemic, bro, that's they called me and I was just like, I don't know, and they were like, Alright, well, why don't we schedule something? Why don't you come back through, blah, blah, blah. And so um at that time, um, you know, I had me and Marissa had been together, and uh, she kind of talked me into it, right? She's like, Yeah, you need to check it out. So I went and checked it out, and uh she was really the one pushing me. Like, do it, baby. Like, I had I had again, man, I discussed it with my kids, like, what do you think I should do? Mechanics or barbering? And I had a a bigger conversation with my family as well. My brothers, my sister, my mother, right? And I said, What do you guys think, man? And they're like, Well, why those two? And I said, Well, everyone needs a uh a mechanic, right? And people are loyal to their barbers, you know. And um and people always need haircuts, people always need mechanics. Which one, you know? And everyone just it was it was an overwhelming majority, right? It was just like, dude, you chop it up pretty well. You got a mouthpiece on you. I think you'd be great at barbering. And so I kind of went, I went in, did another um walkthrough. It was a it was a different girl. Shout out to my girl, actually. Um, different girl, bro, and and um that was uh dean of admissions or whatever. Her vibe was just different, man. Like very inviting, and just made it seem like anything is possible, you know. And I was like, well, I have this and this. It's cool, we will figure it out, right? So I went through the paperwork. Uh I get like the first like sweet, your paperwork's in, whatever, whatever. Man, I went and I told my whole family, guess what? I had already picked the date, right? This is when I start. Man, I was looking up, bro. I I went to work and uh for a year I had been telling my uh my homie and Ricky, bro, um, I'm not gonna be here forever, dog. Give it a little bit of time, I'll be gone. I'm not doing this forever, you know? Um, and he'd be like, You're just bullshitting. I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm I don't plan on being here forever. And that at that time I was thinking about um doing the taco truck thing. It was always I was always trying to scheme something up, bro. Just trying to make something work, you know what I mean? And um, and finally, bro, I finally a year later, I was like, dog, we're going to barber school. And he was like, No, you're not. I was like, hell yeah, I'm done, bro. I'll be done. I'm not working for anybody anymore. I'm done with this bullshit, you know? And um I think it was like a couple weeks in, dog, I get a message um that my loan didn't go through because I had the outstanding loan from prior. I remember that day clearly, bro, because I I almost cried. Uh I was so embarrassed, dog, that I had spilled the beans and told everyone, I'm fucking going, dog. And everyone's excited, and um, and it just felt like oh, right, like the wind from your sales type shit, right? Yeah. Like, damn, bro. Lost hope. Yeah, I was at work and I mean I was in a good mood, and then boom, man, and I remember just like I almost wanted to go to the bathroom and cry because I was like, fuck, dude, this is it hurt, man. My chest was on fire. I I didn't even text Marissa, bro, for probably a couple hours. Because I I was like, I gotta process this, man. This is embarrassing. I'm gonna have to go and tell my family again. Sorry guys, I'm not, I'm gonna be this fucking warehouse worker forever, you know? Just crush me, bro. Crush me. I'd already told my kids, you know, and and in my head I was like, damn, they're gonna be so disappointed, dawg. You know what I mean? I had already told my daughter, oh, I'm gonna learn how to do girls' hair so I can do your hair for prom and all kinds of shit, you know? And told my little man, dude, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna have you cleaned up, right? Man, dude, and uh, yeah, it crushed me, dog, and I went home. I went home, and on the way home, I text Marissa, and I was like, it's over, baby. Like, I'm not going. And she's like, no, we can do something. And I was like, it's over, dude. It's over, right? Like, I was just telling, it's over. And she was like, No, no, no, we can figure this out. And I was like, You don't fucking understand. Like, it's over, leave it alone, right? Bullshit, she left it alone, dog. She went online, she found some shit. She says, Look, call this number, tell them you want to get on this program, they'll set you back up. You can get a new loan, they'll like solidify them, they're just whatever. I don't know what the fuck she was saying. I was done, bro. I was like, it's over. And she was like, just do it. She told me, just fucking do it. I'm stuck. I was like, alright. So, man, I was not looking forward to it, dog. I hate, I hate people crushing my dreams. Because it it it fucks me up mentally, right? Um, and uh, I remember I grabbed a couple of beers, dude. Grabbed a pack, my pack of cigarettes, I went outside, I sat down, and I was like, it's gonna be a long one, right? I'm expecting to be on this phone call forever, dog, and like begging and shit. It's like I've made the phone call, man. And uh it was so easy, bro. I went to I want to do this, this, and this, okay. I didn't even get the first sip of beer, didn't even spark the cigarette, and it was done. And they were like, cool, you should be approved. I was like, what the f I never would have done that, and it sounds stupid and and like a little thing, but when I tell you, bro, that I never would have looked into it, I just would have left it as is. I never would have looked into it. Never. I'm the kind of guy that if I go to a restaurant and you get my my order wrong, I'm gonna take it on the chin and I'm gonna pay whatever it is. I'm not gonna be the one that goes, hey dude, this is not right. It is what it is, right? Um, and and now with that all to Marissa, man, she really pushed it and and and made it a a thing, bro. And and on top of that, I mean, I had her support. I still got babies, right? And and and now I'm working half half a week. So how how do I keep up with the bills and my kids? She was like, I got you. You know, and she stepped up during that whole time I was in school, bro, and and took care of of two kids that weren't hers. That she didn't have to, right? She took care of them, bro. And they love her, absolutely love her, man. And um just made it easy for me to to be at school and not be like, fuck, are my kids alright? You know, are they doing alright? My I gotta check in. It she just made it easy for me to go and and and just do the damn thing, bro. And um yeah, man, it I started, bro, and it it was it was kind of a it was a trip, man, going to school again. You know, 30, I was 33, like 33, 34, something like that. Yeah, so I don't know, right, early 30s. Being with a bunch of 17, 18 year olds. It was a 16-year-old kid, you know what I mean? I was like, fuck, man. I don't want to go to school with these. I almost sucked one kid up like first day. I was like, I don't like the way you talk to me, dog. You know what I mean? Like, I had to learn patience and shit, man. Um, it was a great journey though. You know, I I I wish I would have done it a lot sooner, bro. I'd be so much farther in life if I would have. But I don't know that I could have done everything I've done. Um, I just wasn't ready. Mentally, I wasn't ready. I think everything falls into place and God has his own timing for us, you know. Um, and for years, man, the one thing that got me to will out was um God's got me, practice patience, right? Uh words Nipsey also said, man, on the song is just God's got me, so I practice patience, you know. When I learned that is when good things started coming to me, bro. Just be patient. I'm the most impatient person in the world, bro. Worst. And um when I started, when I just started working in patience, man, it was just like things progress and they come to me. You know what I mean? Um, it's been it's been a great journey, bro. Great journey, and I had good people behind me um to to kind of help me with the transition, right? Um super blessed, dude. But Marissa, man, I I give it up to her, bro, every chance I get, man. She she and she and she she'll talk her shit, bro. She'll be like, it wasn't for me. You were like, you better stop that shit. I've been doing this shit for years now, man. I built the empire on my own. Stop it, you know. But um, she knows, man, I give everything to her, bro. She her her having her and her family in my life, bro, her mom and dad and her brother, have been a fucking blessing, bro, from jump. From jump. I'm this guy that when they met me, bro, um, she never cussed. They don't. It's not how they talk. Right? They're very good people, man. And uh having I just this this this fucking absolute idiot walk in, introduce himself with two children, with two baby moms, right? They hadn't even met the third, not my third baby yet. And uh just a lot of pa a lot of baggage, man, and um having this foul mouth of mine, bro, that TikTok doesn't even like, you know? Um and they just accepted me, bro, and and it was wild. And and and um, you know, I I I can say, dude, I haven't shared this with too many people, but um the the main factor behind me really finally um uh being done with drinking, bro, I credit her dad 100%, dude. 100% it was it was what he did for me that I don't know, pushed me over that edge. Because like I said, man, for years I've been talking about quitting drinking. I was I didn't want to, bro. I was done. I hated feeling um toxic in the morning, right? Like just this nastiness, man. Even even when I started on my on my journey, right, with with the gym and stuff, um, it just I couldn't let go of the beer, dude. It just I don't know, man. But I still I felt toxic, right? But I felt better a little better because I was doing something, I was getting active and shit. And it wasn't until uh what day was it? It was August. I want to say 28th, I could be wrong. Um, it was on a Sunday last year. Um we went to the Idaho, the the Western Idaho Fair. Her parents came with us. Um, and uh I had told her that I was thinking about, you know, cutting, cutting drinking, and she had mentioned it to my sister, and uh my sister's an MA dude. Um sometimes I call her Dr. Susan because she, if you're like, oh my head hurts, you sure you don't have a tumor? I was like, shit, you know, she's one of those, bro. And she was like, I had mentioned it, my my girl had mentioned it to her, and she was my sister was like just wean off a little bit, uh, off of it a little, you know, because um do little by little because you can get sick, man. You've been, you know, balls to the wall every day for all these years, man. You can't just cold turkey, you know. And uh she had said that to me. My my brother-in-law was also in the medical field, had said that um, and on that day, man, we were uh remember we're eating tacos from one of the taco stands, and uh she my Marissa's telling her brother and her mom this, and we're standing in the middle of the thing, dude. And I remember just thinking, like, the fuck, dude. You put my business out there, you know what I mean? Like, these are my people too. I don't want them to know this shit. It's kind of embarrassment, you know? And um, and they were like, that's great, you know, that's great that you want to stop, but you should, you know, do it slowly so you don't get sick and yo, you can die from it, blah blah blah. And I remember the clearest clearest day, bro. Her dad just breaks through the middle of them, parts him like the sea, homie, right? Parts him, bah, and just walks and just comes straight up in my face, dude. And I was like, what the fuck? And he was just like, um, not like in my face, right? But just straight at me, dog, and just stares at me. And he tells me, If you want to do this, Rudy, you can do this. You can do this. You just have to do it. Don't worry about what anyone else says. Don't worry about none of that. You can do this. And if you do, you're gonna have so many great memories with your babies. And he said, not that you already already don't. Like I know you guys have great times, but I promise you, you'll have so many, uh, so many more, right? And uh, I had heard it a thousand times in my lifetime, in my life, right? Thousand times I heard it, bro. I never wanted to hear that shit from anyone, right? Somebody would say that and be like, I don't want to hear that shit from you. You don't know what I know, you don't know what it feels like, you know? But I was talking to a man who himself had not only quit alcohol but also substances, right? And he's a great dad, bro. Right I didn't have much of one growing up. I know what a good dad looks like. He's fucking, he's a fantastic dad. He's been a fantastic grandfather to my children, bro. A little emotional, dog. He's been great, dog, I absolutely cherished, man. And uh it it was something about the way he he said it to me, right? It felt like uh like we're brothers, you know what I mean? Like like uh like a comrade, bro, like we're in this together type shit. Like, you know, I felt different because he knew what what it was like to to see the end of it, right? To be like, it's over, I gotta stop this shit. And he successfully did it, bro. I could hear it from him because he knew the struggle, but it was it was the way he was looking at me, dog. It was like uh he had a belief in me. And you know I had gone through life, dog, um really like seldomly having people believe in me. I I was I was more the guy that would prove people wrong, right? Than the guy that would prove people right. If that makes sense, right? Um I didn't go up, I mean my family believes me, but it's family. Outside of that, like ah, bro, I didn't really have that. And it was the way he looked at me, bro, and the belief that he had of of me. Just this this dude that is dating his daughter, right? So I guarantee at that point, probably wasn't the ideal guy that he wanted for his daughter. But he accepted me. They accepted me, they accept me with all my faults, and uh even through all my drinking, you know. Like I don't know, bro, it was just the way he he approached me that I was I knew that moment, dog. That moment, it tipped the scales for me, and that was it. You know, something that uh that nobody in my life did before get me to stop, right? Like it was that one moment, that belief in his eyes and and uh and the camaraderie that we shared that I was like it's fucking over, dog. I knew it. And uh I went home and and I drank that night. And uh I didn't kill off I didn't kill off uh the beer. I I have uh I think three beers left in my fridge still. I never throw them away. Because that night I was done, and then the next morning I was like I went to throw them away and I was like I want to stare at these bitches every time I open this fridge. You know? I want to stare at the face of my biggest enemy and and and walk the fuck away every day, right? So they sit there. They sit there and uh Yeah man, it was goddamn, dude, it was uh a hell of a journey, man. I'll tell you that much. It was crazy, man. I uh for years, dude, I wanted to do it, and it was when when I first got um diagnosed with uh diabetes, my type 2 diabetes, dog told me, hey dude, you gotta stop drinking or you're gonna fucking fuck up your your liver, right? I went home that day. This is fucking years ago, man. And uh I remember I called my sister, bro, and I was crying like a bitch, like a child, homie, like right, like an emotion, like a fucked up cry. I wasn't crying because I was scared of my kidneys or not my my liver failing, right? Bro, the thought of not drinking had me in an anxiety attack, crying like a fucking child to my sister, telling her how scared I was of life without drinking. I mentally was not prepared for that shit. You know what I mean? And uh I I I honestly believe you have to be prepared to end something like that, end the cycle. You don't even mentally people ask me now, like, dude, how'd you do it? Like, I want to do it too, you know, people around me. And I always told me you can do it, but you have to do it on your own time, dog. And you can't do it because you can't do it for your kids, you can't do it for your spouse, you can't do it for anyone else but yourself. Because you have to hold yourself accountable, and uh, it takes more than I gotta do it for my kids, right? I mean, they're great, children are amazing. You you shouldn't put that on them. This is on you. This is a truth that you should live within yourself, you know what I mean? And and until you're mentally like able to do it, it's not gonna work, man. It's just you have to be ready for it, bro. I wouldn't been ready for it anytime before that. You know what I mean? It just it worked out, man. And like I said, you know, where it's his parents, man, just it was everything from from the time I met her to the you know to that day was like God led me to that. You know what I mean? He put those people in my place, man. And um, forever grateful for them and and uh and their support and their continued support, bro. You know, they're my biggest fans, man. They're just you're amazing. You know what I mean? And uh they've created, you know, they've helped create this this new person, bro. And um, I love it, bro. I love it, man. I I I have a the the vibrance in life, dog. Like the clarity that I have every day, man, just makes me want to want to wake up and continue. You know, people always ask me, do you get cravings? You know, um some people are like, oh, uh, we won't drink around you. Like, dude, by by all means, do whatever you want around me. You know, you want to drink, you want to do your thing, bro. Do a line, fucking, I don't care if you smoke crack and do fucking pull-ups. Shit does not bother me. It doesn't do anything to me, bro. There's nothing about any substance that makes me wanna, you know, go back to it. It's just I'm good. If anything, bro, like I said, I'm kind of judgy. I'm kind of an asshole, man. And I've caught myself, and I'm trying to get better at it. Um, because who the fuck am I? You know what I mean? A year ago, I wouldn't have been that judgy asshole, you know what I mean? So I'm trying to get better at that, bro. Um, but I don't want to go back to it, man. I'm good. And and honestly, this is this I I was analyzing this shit this morning, bro. Without Marissa, I never would have gone to barber school. Without barber school, I never would have met you and began this this at first forced almost felt like um health journey, right? That turned me into a gym rat now, right? I love it, dude. I love 3D gym. Amazing. Never been to another gym where I want to work out when I get in, right? And just the ambiance, bro. Like Charlie and Mary doing something amazing for the community, bro. The feeling I get when I walk in, it's like it's time to work, you know what I mean? Like I'm amped. You know what I mean? That's Marissa. Sometimes I'm in there doing, I'm like, I'm like doing squats in the morning, getting you know, doing my stretches, like you ready to go to work out at four in the morning. It's just like you're doing too much, right? It's just something, bro. You know, it turned me into that, bro. Without barbering, I wouldn't have met you. Um, and it goes beyond like clientele, like I've we I feel like we're good friends, bro. I feel like we understand each other very well, and um, you know, I wouldn't I wouldn't have been to the gym. Honestly, I wouldn't have gotten to the mind state of like I should have quit drinking. And none of this would have ever happened, dog. Um, and I I thank God for that woman, dude. She's she's been amazing, she she's continues to be amazing, man. And um, yeah, dude, now I'm you know I'm almost a year sober. It'd be amazing. I I want to celebrate that year. I haven't celebrated month, three months, six months. She kept asking me, you want to celebrate? I'm like, for what? This don't mean shit. At a year, that's what we can celebrate. Because I I would never would have never would have thought about that, bro. Never never would have thought about being sober. Like I he would have asked me a year ago, what do you think sober is?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:05

Boring as fuck is what I would have said, you know? Anything but, dude. I have so much more I have the same I have the same time that I did then. Right? I just fulfill my time more now with things that matter than you know being inebriated and shit. So, um, it's been a great journey, bro. I mean, I've been super blessed these last couple of years, man, especially where I landed, right? Um, my barber holding a spot for me, dude. For I think it was like eight months, he held that spot. I told him when I went to barber school, check it out, dog on barber school. And um, just asking him, hey, can I come by and shadow, check you out, and the guys and kind of get some different points of view. And he was like, Yeah, for sure, man. And like, I think my second month in, he sent me a picture one day of a station that was empty, and he was like, I got your station waiting for you, bro. Hurry up, we need your help. You know, we keep letting the the the walk-ins leave because we're booked. And uh, and my brother had offered to uh to um to pay for the chair, right? Because it's I mean he's gotta make money off the chair every month. And he was like, nah, you guys are good here. You know what I mean? Like that's that's the kind of people that I was I was blessed to surround myself with in a barbershop dog. Um he was he's been a great mentor for me, bro, and and pushed me to to where I am now and and and the other barbers too, man. Just everyone's I think I I I've um I'm a good mix of everyone's wisdom, right? All in one. And um it's been great, dude. Business is is is is doing really well. Um, you know, you could always grow a little more, but I don't stress like I used to stress, man. It's really become more of um um a very pleasant, pleasant um way to live life, right? I I don't see it as a job. People say, I hate saying I gotta work tomorrow. It's so weird, but it doesn't feel like a job to me. I enjoy what I do, man. I love talking to my clients. I love making people happy. I like making them feel great. You know what I mean? And um, yeah, it's been it's been great, man. It's been amazing. It's been absolutely, absolutely amazing, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:15

Yeah, you touched on a lot of good topics there and and key points I think everybody could take from life. One, your father-in-law gave you the best advice, but you only took it from him because of his past. So the things that most people think disqualify them is actually what qualifies them to help others. And that's an amazing thing where a lot of people think where, oh well, you know, I'm I'm just too broken. I can't help anybody. I'm I'm too broken. I can't go to church, I'm too broken. Like that's where God works is within in the broken. Like you're you're qualifying yourself to be able to help others. And I'm sure that you know your family has taken notice of your changes and seeing like the difference in ambiance with you, and you're just you know, obviously you've slimmed down a bunch, gone and had bought a whole bunch of new scrubs and stuff. Yeah, and um so I mean they're seeing that, and now now like you say, like you can only take a horse to war, but they gotta decide to drink, right? So they could see all that you're doing in your life, and now they're gonna start making that choice on their own instead of you being like, Hey sis, or hey brother, you gotta you gotta change, you gotta you I'm telling you, and even though you want to tell them because you know how good it is, yeah, you also know that people told you the same thing. Yeah, and it's but they also could see where you came from, probably when you were an alcoholic and all those things, where now they can see where you're at, and they're gonna start making that inference of the in their own head of like, what what is the difference about Rudy? And then they're like, Oh, he stopped drinking, he started going to the gym. Yeah. The other thing I want to touch on was that you said it was just like the environment of like when you go to the gym, like the the right environment, right? The difference between like a planet fitness that you never went into, but like the planet fitness to like a 3D fitness.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:50

Yeah, well, and and I was at the rec center for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:54

So like surrounding yourself with the right environment, just because you're at a gym doesn't mean you're at the right environment, right? Just because you're at a bar doesn't mean that you know it's gonna be the right environment for you. Like you could still have a social event with somewhere else that's gonna be more productive. But when you surround yourself in them now with the barbershop, right? Of like those kind of guys that are always sharing their wisdom with you when you guys help each other out, iron sharpening iron, like those two key points themselves are are huge topics that I think everybody could be able to take from. It's just environment is huge because dude, I can totally attest with the 3D fitness. If you would have asked me a year ago when I just left my job at the prison June 7th, and now it's like June 10th, so it's been just over a year. Like, if you ask me, Matt, are you gonna do a bodybuilding show? I'd be like, fuck no. Right, like never. Like that's not my thing. But yeah, you'd be around these people and you start seeing them and they're pushing themselves to higher limits and like really putting them through themselves through hard work, and you just see them like grinding, and yeah, you are in that environment. You got these motivational posters all over, and you're just thinking, like, man, I gotta put more work in, you know. And then pretty soon you're like, Yeah, I think I'll try it, you know? Yeah, yeah, hell yeah. And then uh yeah, just with the barbershop, do that. That's that's sweet, just surrounding yourself with other like-minded people that want growth aren't just satisfied with just you know making their bills, but they want more. Yeah, and then you your hustle culture, dude, is awesome. Because I know besides just doing your barbering stuff, you're also doing house your house calls for people, which is cool, because then there's you know, and and on top of all that, you're really good with autistic kids, and that's been a godsend for us with my son, yeah, like how patient you are. So, man, it's it's cool just how many different topics you could cover and how much wisdom you got. Yeah, it's it's but the thing that gives you the wisdom is all the downfalls you've had to go through to life to get there.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:51

A lot of people are just afraid of that failure part and like taking a risk or you know, sticking with that safe job, whether you're at Jalopi Jungle and it's it's a safe job, or you know, but when you realize that you're not fully potentially or fully living out your potential and you want more happiness in life, and you gotta take that risk, and it's scary. Yeah, and then you have are partnered with someone that believes in you more than you believe in yourself. Like that's just a beautiful thing. Because I know for myself, Ashley has believed in me a lot more in this last year at times than I believed in myself, wondering if I'm making the right decision, right? Wondering, you know, whether I should have just gone back and she's like, No, like I believe in you. Yeah, other people believe in you. Yeah. And um, so I I think partnering with the right person, surrounding yourself in the right environment, right people, and just not disqualifying yourself just because you made mistakes. Right, huge.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:44

Right, right, yeah. No, you're right, dude. I mean, the environment is it's it's huge, man. It's um somebody once told me, um, um, show me your friends and I'll show you your future. Right? And um, it's one of those things where I I never thought any of it. I was like, okay. Sounds cool, bud. Right? Never put it together, man. And um I'm living it now, bro. Like, um, I surround myself with good people, man. Um, along with changes in my life in the last couple years, I've cut a lot of people off, bro. Not for anything, and and not in a bad way, man. Just um in a way that like I can see you from afar and we, you know, we're good. Um, but I just I I don't have I don't have the want or the need to be around certain people, right? Because they don't they don't do anything for me spiritually, they don't do anything for me emotionally, they don't do anything for me um business-wise either. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:36

Like, um Have you ever heard that quote from T.I. and he said the grass and the trees don't hang around the same place just because they started at the same place?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:44

Damn, I haven't heard that. Okay. I mean, it you know, it's just it's one of those things, bro, where if you want real change, like you have to look at the people who you surround yourself with. You know what I mean? You're only gonna make it as far as the people that are around you. If you surround yourself with good people, um and it depends on what you're trying to do, right? Like successful people, and you know this, you've done this um so much now um with your with your business, bro, and and and the podcast world stuff. Um it makes you ambitious, right? You want more, you want more, you want more. And um the environment, yeah, environment's a huge thing, bro. And and I I I think it really does tie into everything you do, you know. I um I wouldn't be where I'm at if I didn't surround myself with a with a loving woman, um, that's very supportive, along with you know, the supportive family and stuff. Um you know, it's environment's huge, man. And I think we should start teaching our kids that. And I do teach my kids that, right? From now, bro. And people are like, they're a little young, like that. I'm like, no, no, especially for my son. I'm like, dude, I'm imparting you with all my wisdom now, and it feels like a lot, but there's a lot to live, man. And I want you to do good things in this world, and and um I want you to learn as fast as possible because the world doesn't give you time to be a reckless kid, you know. You take that time, you become too reckless, man. You you end up in jail or dead. You know what I mean? Um, or in between somewhere doing some some bad shit, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:21

Um what's the biggest thing that you teach your kids that most normal parents don't? Normal, as in quotes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:28

Oh my god, bro. Um, I'll be honest. Um respect and and to to be very aware of their surroundings. Like hyper-vigilant. And I teach them that shit. And I hammer it into them. And sometimes people are like, take it easy. I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand the world. I do. If you want to let your kid run reckless through this motherfucker, go for it. Right. Um, for an instance, uh, when I used to go to the rec center, man, I used to take my kids to the pool, you know? I'm all about respect, bro. I I respect those around me, I respect their space because I want respect for my space. Right? And um I've been watching my kids, man, and uh my little man does this thing where he just floats on the water, right? He looks fucking dead though. He looks like he's drowning, dog. And I'm looking at the lifeguard and he's tripping, he's just like, oh, and I was like, no, no, no, no. Get up! Hey, get up. He gets out. I'm like, what are you doing? Stop doing that shit. You can't play like that. It's fucked up. You're giving the dude a heart attack, right? If they splash too much. Like, hey, hey, there's families around here. Have some respect. Watch where your hands are going. Because if you hit someone's kid, there's an issue. Let's settle the fuck down. We came here to have fun. Don't be fucking reckless, right? And and everyone's like, you're hovering over them, right? You don't let them be. I'm like, dude, fuck that, bro. I want my kids to be successful, respectful human beings. You know what I mean? And if that means I call them out more than the fucking lifeguard does, then that's just what it is, dog. Maybe I'm a little too harsh on them, but there's a fucking reason my kids are where they are now. You know what I mean? And it's just I I I'm I'm super hard on my son, bro. And and um, you know, he's he's about to go into middle school. And it's all kind of led to this, and I'm like, dude, I'm letting you take the reins now, homie. You're a little older now. Dad can't fight your fucking battles no more. If there's an issue at school, you're gonna do one of two things. You're gonna throw them hands or you're gonna walk away. But if you walk away, be ready to geek keep getting fucked with every day. So make a stand or walk away, right? But you're gonna have to learn. And I'm not saying I can't save you anymore, dog. This is the real world. You know, a lot of people they they they fantasize what their kids' life's gonna be, right? Like, this is the real fucking world, man. You know, I'm scared to death from my children because of everything that I see all around. You know what I mean? I'm trying to prepare them to to survive, not only survive, but thrive in this fucking world. You know what I'm saying? And I'm giving I'm parting stuff on uh onto them that no one did for me. Um and sometimes it's harsh, but it always comes with a lesson, and it always comes with a breakdown, right? I'm not just somebody that um hammers the fuck out of my kid and just and then leaves it there, right? I sit down, I have a conversation, a real conversation with my children, right? And we talk about the deepest parts of things and and why I'm doing this, why I'm showing them this. This stems from this, son, and I don't want you to go to that shit, right? My daughter's the same thing, you know. Hey, dude, you gotta learn his shit the hard way. I don't know what to tell you, homie. I'm not gonna be rubbing your fucking your your wounds. Take them wounds, fucking lick them and keep going. So nobody, nobody waits for you to heal. No one gives a shit. The faster you understand that, the easier it's gonna be for you to transition into what real life is. Because real life's a bitch. You know what I mean? Real life is not your dad or your mom, you know, when you hit them and go, hey, can you get this for me and I'll pay you back later? You can't do that shit with a landlord. You're gonna be on your ass. And these streets are no joke. I've seen what the streets do to people. I was I was homeless at one point. You know what I mean? Like I know the the reality of this shit, man. And I don't ever want them to be there. So I'm tough on them so that they can grow tough skin, man. That's the one that my kids are very sensitive, bro, and I worry about. My daughter wants to go into the cosmetology world. Women are very picky about their shit, and I'm trying to get her to toughen the fuck up so that she can hold her own and be able to produce a great business, right? But know how to hold her own when someone's wrong, also know how to accept fault when she's wrong. It's important, you have to have the balance. So many parents don't um don't hold their kids accountable. You know what I mean? Like you have to hold them accountable. So many times I hear parents um school being a big one, right? Like the parent, the teachers being mean to my kid. What's your kid doing though? Right? Because for me, if if I have an issue with my son or my daughter at school, and I go, before I talk to the teacher, I'm gonna corner them and go, what did you do? I need I need the honest truth. You're not gonna get in trouble. We're gonna talk this out. But I need to know the truth. If I'm gonna fight for you, I need to know where this is. I need to know a hundred percent what's going on. And I have your back a hundred percent. Even if you're wrong, I got your back. We'll figure this out, right? But I I can't confidently go in there and hold you down if I don't know what you did. I need I need you as a person to speak the truth.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:57

You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:00

See, and it's just it's one of those things, dude, that I've I've always held myself accountable for things, man. I've always been the one if I fuck something up at a job, that was me. That's all me. I'll take whatever you need me to do, I'll fix it. If that means you fire me, fire me, right? But it's always been huge important, and I think it's it's it's the trusting, man, that I've had issues my whole life trusting people, and so I've always tried to be the most trustworthy person and speak the truth, and it's hard, bro. And and that's why I'm I'm I want to get that in my kids' head. Like I know it's hard. Sometimes it's the hardest thing to do, to be honest. But it it's it may it sets your soul right, bro. Like it makes you make you feel great, you know what I mean? When you carry baggage and you lie, it's just baggage on top of baggage and lie on top of lie, and you become this toxic fucking person, man. You know what I mean? Like the biggest thing I've always told my kids is I I am who I am and I am the way I am, because a lot of times I give shit away all the time, you know. I've always been like that, man. And like now, like there's times where I'll be like, you know what? It's on me today. Service is on me. Right? And I come home and the kids like, how was it? I was alright. Did you make a lot of money today? It's like, nah, not really. I gave away a couple cuts. And they'll be like, why? Sometimes it just feels good in my soul, you know what I mean? And um it's just it's one of those things, man, where when my kids grow up, I want them to walk down the street, and if somebody sees them and recognizes them, I want them to have good words to say about me. I want to leave a legacy behind that's a great legacy. I know there's a lot of bad that I've done. I can't, I can't, I can't fix that. It's who I was, right? I can only show you who I am now and who I will continue to be, right? And and so I want to leave a legacy for my children. I want people to know if they know them and go, oh my god, I remember your dad, and I have great stories to tell, right? I don't want them to pull my kids aside and be like, hey, where's your pops? That guy's a fucking asshole. You know what I mean? Like, that's the last thing I want to be. I I had to deal with that shit when my dad abandoned us, bro. People like telling me, where's he at? I'm gonna fuck him up, right? I used to fight people, grown men, because they wanted beef with my pops, dude, when he left. Right? And I was like, I was a kid, a teenager, bro. I don't want that, man. And but I also want them to start their legacy. And I always tell them what what people see, all right, they're gonna judge you from this point forward, man. I don't care if you're 10 or 11. You become who you're gonna be later in life. It starts now, homie. The respect starts now, the accountability starts now, right? The building blocks start now, they don't start in fucking high school. That's too late. They start now, buddy. We start this shit now, you'll be a great fucking man when you when you graduate high school. And then you'll go on to do great things. Right? Like set the fucking tone early. We gotta stop letting these kids skate on shit like this. Like, I went to, and I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this. I know it, but I fucking I went to my son's fifth grade graduation a couple weeks ago. I'm sorry if this makes you mad, but biggest load of horse shit I've ever seen in my life, dog. I was so I was I was thoroughly upset. What are we doing? This is fifth grade. I expect some small little ceremony, like bam, right? Parents holding graduation balloons and flowers. I'm like, the this fifth grade. Fifth grade. You're gonna they're gonna pass you on to the next one, not it off, stop it, settle down. What are we doing? You know what I mean? And like my son had told had asked me days before that, are you gonna cry at my graduation? I said, What graduation, son? This one or like the real one, like the high school one. He said, No, no, no, the one that's on whatever day. I was like, hell no, I'm not gonna cry. What am I son? It's not real, buddy. Right? Like, they're gonna pass you. It's great that they're doing a ceremony. And he he gave a speech. I was very proud of him for that. Um I was like, I was like, when you graduate high school, I'm gonna cry a lot because I got to see a great man grow. You know? And uh but I'm not doing it for this. This is I don't I don't think there should be something like this, man. Like I think you should go on and you should continue. I think I think we're we're we're setting a bad tone for our children, man. Celebrating fifth grade, kindergarten.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:40

I think participation awards in general.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:42

Yeah, that's exactly it, brother. That's exactly it.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:46

But no, it's fifth grade. That's not real life. You don't get any participation awards in real life.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:51

I understand high school because in high school you're held accountable. You fucking show up, you don't, your credits are gone, homie. You gotta really work for that motherfucker. So yes, let's go, let's ball the fuck out for that one. I'm gonna cut my fucking eyes out, right? For sure. But I'm not doing it for this one. Right. And it just explained it to him nicely. And we got there and he he kind of looked around and he was like, This is kind of too much, dad. I know, bro. I'm telling you, right? And just the whole time, man, I was like, this is this is really fucking dumb that we're doing this for our kids. You know what I mean? Like, we're really putting them in a position where we're romanticizing what like what what what school what the school system really is. You know, and it's like that whole thing you're talking about with the quince and era. Exactly. You know, and um I just you know, and I know I'll get a lot of flack for it, but I I choose to live in a in a reality-based world. Yeah. Because my children are are born into it and they're going into this fucking world, man. And and the world is going to shit on every fucking level.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:53

I would say it's not a responsibility to raise good kids, it's our responsibility to raise responsible adults. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:58

That that's exactly it, bro. That is exactly it. Is I'm trying to raise somebody that's gonna be a functioning and successful member of society. And I never thought I'd even get this far, bro. I I'm I I was the kid that was getting arrested for for driving drunk at like 13, right? I mean, I was the kid that was doing stupid shit, man, that would never went to school. So dope all fucking day. You know what I mean? Like, I I didn't have anyone there to tell me these things, bro. These, like you said, these are things that I learned from the hard lessons that I had to go through, right? And and so it would be, it would be I'd be remiss, bro, if if I didn't share these with my children now. I don't know if I have tomorrow. Right? A lot of people are like, well, it's something they can learn when they're older. True. I don't have I might not have tomorrow on me. You never know what happens the next day. So I try to impart as much into my children every day, and I pour myself into my children as much as I can every day because I never know when that last fucking day is gonna be. You know what I mean? Life is fragile. We forget that so so much, bro. We forget that shit so much and and I I I try I try to keep that as as present in my life as possible so that I can cherish those that I that I have around me every day as much as possible, right? Even even my clients, bro. Like I have different relationships, uh different relationships with my clients than than some barbers do, right? I genuinely really care about my clients, bro. It's who I am as a person. You know what I mean? So I give out free shit. Sometimes um if I can tell a mom struggling to pay for her kid's car, this is on me today, right? If I can tell a kid like wants a product but he can't afford it, take it, bro. It's yours. I don't even worry about it, homie. You know what I mean? How much does that really take away from my life, bro? It really doesn't. It really doesn't take away that much. You know what I mean? And if I can make that person smile for today, that's more than worth it to me. You know what I mean? Like I want to leave something behind that's it's not just monetary value. I want to leave something behind that my children could look continue to look up to. You know what I mean? Like I'm I'm trying to make I'm trying to make a an impact on the world, bro. And that's why I like doing little things and and help them with community projects and and and and back to school haircuts. I my son threw me in there last year. You know what I mean? It was like dad'll do back to school haircuts at our school. I rounded up 25 other student barbers to help me, dog, and we just knocked it out, right? Over a hundred people, a hundred kids for school. Like, you know what I mean? And it's I didn't go to the news and ask, I didn't post shit on Facebook. This is nothing I do. You don't see me posting. People ask me all the time, you don't post pictures of your kids? No. Why not? Because I'm living it, homie. You don't see you'll never see me post happy birthday, Sonna. I love you so much. On Facebook. I don't do any of that shit. I don't. Why? I don't need the attention. You know what I mean? Like my intention, I'll let you know it. I will personally come to you and talk to you and tell you happy birthday. Or give you a hug, right? I'll wake my babies up at breakfast. I'll take them out. I'll do whatever. You know, I but I do it on my own time. I don't do it for the internet. I do that shit wholeheartedly. And there's a big difference between the internet and doing some shit wholeheartedly. I I firmly believe that. So I do these events, I do little things like that. You don't hear about it, dog. I don't I don't throw it, and I and I probably could get a lot of business if I threw it on TikTok and Instagram. You know what I mean? But it's not for that.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:02

It's not for that. It's it's it's it's for the people that I that I I want to I want it to affect in a positive way. But it's also I've been sober now for almost a year, bro. And and I've come to the realization that it's uh I spent all that time years ago killing off those emotions so so that I wouldn't feel anything, you know? And uh it's now it's time to to rebuild my soul. You know what I mean? And and the way I do that is by helping people and doing things for people. Even a lot of the times, bro, when I do free cuts, they are the most ungrateful people in the world, dog. You know, they're just I want this, I want that, I want this, I want that. You know, and it's like no thank you, no nothing, you know. It is what it is. You know what I mean? But I do it because it feels great in my soul, bro. You know what I mean? Feels it feels amazing in my soul, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:01

And do you think that's because you grew up with without anything? So later on life with you when you can help others out, maybe that's I never thought of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:10

Um maybe. Maybe it could definitely be something like that. You know, um, I just love I love making people happy, man. Um I'm a cook. I love to cook for people. I don't even eat, I just want to watch people eat my my food, you know what I mean? Um I love the way people react when they get a haircut that they wanted from me, right? Like a great haircut. It's great. It makes me feel great, dog. Um like I it just I'm rebuilding my soul. I'm a new person, man. You know what I mean? Like uh I'm ready to have those emotions back in my life. I wasn't ready then because I couldn't handle them. I didn't know how to fucking hold all that. It was too much for me to hold inside it. You know what I mean? Like I couldn't do it, man. I I had to I had to numb it with alcohol because I couldn't hold that anymore. The pain, the the struggle, the the everything. You know what I mean? I couldn't hold it. I can hold it now. You know what I mean? Um I'm right. I'm right in the head. And uh so now it's I'm trying to rebuild my soul, bro. And so like, you know, you've been talking about um about Luis, right? Breaking chains, man, and uh the little pieces that you told me were great. I was like, wow, that's crazy, you know? And um and and and and uh intriguing in its own way because it's it's it's somebody that looks like me. I mean not in you know not direct right, but like we're brown, we're Mexican together. You know what I mean? Like it hits harder for me when I when I hear somebody that's of my culture, right? And and similar kind of backgrounds. When they speak, I listen. You know what I mean? And man, the podcast is great, bro. I think uh he's doing amazing work um for for for these kids, man. And um yeah, it's one of those things where I I definitely I plan on um reaching out um either through you or just directly and seeing if there's if there'sn't something I can do to help. You know what I mean? Like, I mean those kids are gonna need cuts um for interviews, right? Or or you know, um on a bad day if they have to go to court, right? And they might need a haircut real quick, you know, if their parents are struggling, you know what I mean? Like I I I do I do have a little a little thing I do where, you know, if the parents are struggling, but the kids get in good grades, why not uh reward both of them, right? I know what it's like to be a single dad and have to do all the homework after a long day of work and you're you know, trying to keep your kids on top of shit. It's hard, man. And so it's one of those things where like, why not give let them have a free cut? They don't the parent doesn't have to pay, little man's gonna be happy. You know what I mean? Little something for the community, bro. So it's just it's one of those things that um I plan on reaching out. Um I really love what he's doing, man. I really it really um a lot of it I resonated um with me just being affiliated with with the people that I was affiliated with growing up um as well and seeing the tragedy that's become of their lives and um there's not there's not too many success stories, man. There's really not too many success stories, and um I think he's doing great work, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:10

Yeah, I'm really I'm really about with their I'm I'm glad that I was able to make that connect somehow. I don't remember exactly how. I think I just seen a TikTok video that someone had he had gone on, I think, the ranch podcast or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:24

And uh I was like, man, that's cool. I really like that. And then I think I I reached out to him, was like, I'd love to hear your story. Because a lot of the clips that I seen, he was just talking about the breaking chains, and I wanted to be like, well, I want to hear about you. Yeah. And you know, all the childhood abuse that I went through, and I was really afraid of dying with that story and nobody ever knowing what I went through. And so I think God put me through that, gave me that idea of like you're uh I shouldn't say it gave me the idea of like you're gonna die without telling your story, but somehow I got that idea of that fear of dying without telling my story. And I bet you there's a lot of other people that have a crazy story that don't have a platform, and yeah, I'm not like the biggest platform, but like if you can even just get your story out and now your kids can see it, like yeah, I think that's huge.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:18

It it was huge for me, bro. Like, you know, my I mean people my whole life have been telling me you should write a book or you know, you got stories for days. I'm like, I do have a lot of fucking stories, you know, a lot of stupid things, man. And uh um when you you know asked me to be on the podcast, I said yes, and I honestly was like, Yeah, yeah, well you know, one day. Then when I got closer to it, I was like, shit, man, I don't know if I can do this, you know. And Marissa, bro, she's the one that's like, You got fucking stories, bro. Go on there, just be you. I'm like, man, I don't know if I should cuss. Should I like wash my mouth, shit I do? She's like, just fucking just be you. I promise, if you're just you, people just gravitate towards, you know, whether it's stupid shit you're saying, or if it's something that's some real shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:01

Yeah, you just gotta be authentic.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:03

That's it, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:04

I used to have like questions and stuff I'd want to ask people, but I'm like, I just want to have a conversation with you.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:09

That's why it felt so good the first time, bro. I was nervous, and then it was it really was just I forgot everything. I thought for I forgot we were recording. It was just me and you having a conversation, you know what I mean? And it just it felt I like it that way. It's um it's real, you know what I mean? Like it's it's a real man, and and there's nothing like being a hundred percent real. And um that's why that's why I don't watch my mouth, dude. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm supposed to and shit, but it's who I am, bro. And it's um when I speak, man, and when I speak, I I speak with emotion, bro. And then like you know, there's a there's I feel everything. You when I talk about something, you can feel it, dog. You know what I mean? Because I'm very passionate about speaking my truth. And if you don't if people don't like it, that's okay. That's fine. I'm not your cup of tea. That's cool. You know what? We know where we stand now. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I'd rather that than be who I'm not and never know who's around me. Never really know their intentions, you know. I never thought you stand me at my worst, you can sit down with me and eat when I'm at my best. Yeah, you know what I mean? And so that's why unapologetic, bro, is the best thing. I just I'm just authentic and it makes people mad, and I apologize a lot. I don't I'm not the hard I'm not uh an asshole that just will say some stupid shit and then well it is what it is, right? If I'm wrong, I apologize. I'm the first one to apologize, bro. Hold myself accountable, yeah. You know what I mean? It's you have to. That's real, that's being real. Talking your shit and and not holding yourself accountable for it, that's not being real. You're just being an asshole. You know what I mean? Talk your shit. If that affects someone in a way you didn't think it would, or if you came off a certain way, because when I talk someone, I just fucking yap, yap, yap, yap, and then later on I'm like, shit. I could have said that in a different way. I could see how that can fuck with somebody, you know. I'll apologize. I'll be the first one. Apologize. I'm sorry, bro. My bad. You know, I didn't mean that. And it's a genuine apology every time because reality, bro, I'm real, I have to keep it fucking real. I keep it real with my children, I keep it real with my lady, I keep it real with my clients. From from the morning to night, bro. I try to be a hundred percent real. A hundred percent, because the scariest thing in the world to me is um being called out and not being able to be like you're a lying fuck. You know what I mean? Like the that's that's the scariest thing to me is somebody can call me out and have a basis on it, and I'll be like, fuck. How do I define myself? You know what I mean? So I'm like, I'll just be real. Fuck it. You know what I mean? It's just what it is. You like me, you love me, hate me, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:52

Yeah, man. That's cool. So we gotta do is just keep it real, and that's what I have to do with my clients too. Like, and just being online, my online presence. I had a really hard time when I started. I was trying to be this person. I'm not like I had a guy that was like, no, you need to be like confrontational and like and like uh, you know, invoke emotion because that's how people are gonna like and share, or they're gonna like comment because they don't like you or they do like you, or it's like you can't. I was like, yeah, so I tried it for a little bit and it just didn't feel right, and then I just went back to like making dick jokes and stuff that I like you know. Like I was just like, I don't want I don't want to I don't either want I don't want people to like me and then find out that they don't like me, or I don't want people to not like this person and realize I'm somebody else. Like I just if you if you are my crowd, are you in my crowd?

SPEAKER_03 1:38:39

If you're not like yeah, you don't you don't want to fake it, and then they meet you in real life, come across you in real life, and they're like fuckers nothing at all like what he's yeah portrays himself to be. Yeah, yeah, keep it real. I I I dig it, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:50

So what's uh so what's next for you, dude? You got you got the barber thing going on, kids going school, all that good stuff. But what's I know you've been talking like you just said you want to do like the back to cool back to school stuff. I know you had talked about wanting to help out with like the homeless shelters and stuff too. Um Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:08

I mean doing work like that, man, is um I feel like it's it's I I'm ca I I I want to let God speak through me and in my work. You know what I mean? Because um because I I I genuinely believe that um the path that I walked was one that God put forth for me. You know what I mean? Um a lot of people I hear this a lot. I just like why do I why don't I have this, but I've been doing this? Like, is God not listening? You know what I mean? And and I've always I've gone through times in my life where I've had my doubts, like what the fuck? You know what I mean? Um, but I genuinely think that this was the path that he set me on, man. And it's been a beautiful path. And if I can do his work, you know, through through my work, I would I love it, man. You know what I mean? Like I would love to do any help I can, homeless shelters, um back to school cuts. Um big thing for me, bro, just because seeing a child have that smile on his face because he's going to school with a nice haircut is beautiful. It's a beautiful thing, man. And and not not a lot of people can afford that shit nowadays. You know what I mean? Everything is so expensive, man. And um our wages don't go up, but the prices sure fucking do. Yeah, you know, and on top of that, you gotta they gotta worry about the kids' shoes, kids' um, you know, clothes and and and and and um all the school stuff, man. Like, if I can, you know, give them a breather, then I'm more for it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Um I do find myself taking on more work than I can handle a lot of times, bro. Um But I thrive, I'll be honest. I thrive on on um on that pressure, bro. I'm very good at with the pressure.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:54

Um one of my favorite quotes is men men are like flatbed uh men are like fat oh geez, I can't say it. Men are like flatbed trucks and they drive best under a heavy load.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:03

Yeah. That's a fact, man. That's how I that's how I was raised, you know what I mean? To to I need the when it's too easy is when I kind of fall off a little bit. They become complacent. They become complacent. There you go. You know, and um it's when crunch do you I am at my best when it's crunch time. I might not be at my happiest, but god damn it if I'm not at my best, dog, and I'm at home. You know what I mean? Because all I knew was struggle. You know what I'm saying? It's like you're gonna put me back in the shit. Been here. Yeah, cool. Right. Let's work, you know what I'm saying? Like, let's make something shake.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:44

Um, so I'm at my best when when when I put a little too much on my plate, man. Um But yeah, community work, man. I would love to do some more community work. I would love to work with Greece um and his people. I know he he's got uh homeboy over at uh them Nampa boys, right? Um I'm sure that they help out a lot, but you know, if there's any extra help, I would love to help out with with the with the with the kids, man. Um yeah, dude. Uh man, uh I have so many things I want to do, bro. Um I'm looking at investing um into um a little uh a business with my sister. Um she makes great dessert, man. She's just very gifted when it comes to desserts, cakes, stuff like that. And it's something that she does for the families all year long, bro. Every birthday party she does it for my kids, for my nephews, my nieces, my sister-in-laws, my brothers, everyone, bro. She's just very gifted, and it's something that um it's a labor of love for me. I I want to invest in her. Um, I believe in her. So I think that's gonna be my next move, um, financial move. Um start something with my sister. Um also start something with my mom. She's um she's very gifted at building shit. And and she's been working on she she her and between her and my brother-in-law, they uh they uh they made some planters for my sister's garden, and and it's something different, bro. It's a built-in sprayer system. So you just all you do is you know, you attach it to your hose, everything's good to go. And I'm like, you guys should make these, sell these, you know. And I'm kind of trying to push them to to start a venture there, and I I might, you know, invest in that as well. Um as far as my business goes right now, man. Uh you know, I the the last couple months I've just been adding um little um little touches here and there to um to you know what already is the um the experience, right? I mean, I added a fridge so that I could have waters, beer, uh whatever kind of drinks the clients would would like um when they sit down, man. Just let them relax a little more. Uh hot towel warmer, um, just a little pampering, bro, goes a long way, you know, after a long day and shit. And um, it's it's looking at my books, it's it's it's improved, right? My business so much, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:06

Um yeah, what all services do you offer?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:09

Um yeah, and another thing, man, that I've I've always offered, but no one really ever wants to get, man. And I think it's because we live in such a such a uh machismo type uh uh uh world, bro, where um men don't feel comfortable getting, you know, being pampered, dog. And I don't mean, you know, getting your toes done and shit. Sometimes, bro, you just just wanna just wanna sit in the chair and just and get some work done, man. You know, you get your hair done, bro, and um you gotta get your your your skin done. We get we're getting older, dog. You know what I'm saying? Um, why not treat yourself a little bit? You know, add another 15-20 minutes to your to your to your cut. Right? So I I offer facials, man. I've been offering them since I started. It's one thing that I got really into um when I was in in barber school. Actually, I taught a class while I was in barber school on facials because I did them so much. And um, yeah, dude, it's just one of those things that um feels great. Um and it adds, it just it adds vibrance to your skin, bro. Um, and it's one of those things that I get maybe blue-collar guys won't want to do it as much. Um, because you know, you're out in the dirt and shit. But um, it's one of those things, man, that um the people that have asked for it are usually like car salesmen, people that are up front, people are, you know, talking to people, man. You got you gotta be on point and shit. And so it's one of those things, man, that I've always had very um seldom do people ask for it. My I do it for my um for my nephews, um, and my nieces, my daughter, and her friends and stuff. Um, because it does, it really does help with breakouts and and um just to keep their skin less oily, you know what I mean. There's different, there's different um facials you can get for depending on what you what you know if you have dry skin or if you have oily skin and stuff like that. Um it's a service that I'd like to push a little more, man. I I really want to start pushing um some high-end stuff, but again, it's very hard. Um, especially uh being at a shop that's just very, very manly. You know what I mean? Like it's one of those things where I think a lot of dudes don't want to do it because they're like, you know, we don't want to be called some a slur. You know what I mean? We don't want to be less manly, right? Which I think it's dumb. Um I myself don't see it that way, but I could I understand where people are coming from, man. Um usually when I book, when people book those with me, they will book those and I will go to their, you know, it's a it's a home service. So I'll go to their home, I have all the setup and everything, and we'll do it then. Um, you know, but not many, not many have um have come come through, man. Um telling you you gotta get in that bodybuilding. That that you know, that's that's the thing, dude, is um now, you know, doing it, you know, for for for your show. You mentioned that and I was like, man, I never even thought of that, bro. But I think it's definitely something I'm gonna flirt with a little bit. Um try to put it out there and um Well you're in the right gym. Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure, man. And uh so as far as the business goes, man, I just I I um you know, I just I'm trying to I'm trying to build it up a little more, um, and do some higher end stuff. Continue on with the same thing though, you know, and just maybe promote those those higher end um things as well, man. I'm just I'm very bad at social media, dude. Um all my clientele really came from word of mouth. I've always been a word of mouth, and um, it's been great, man, because my my clientele's I have a great clientele, dude. I I don't have anyone that I'm like I can't stand cutting this, dude. You know what I mean? Everybody's very, very dope, man. And um, yeah, I want to continue pushing that. I mean, you know, in the near future, I would love to to maybe brown chattel my own. Um it's scary to think about it, you know. I but I think everyone at some point wants to, you know what I mean? And um, I know it's something that I've discussed um with my my brother, dude. Um, he wants to go, he wants to do something together. Um and um I think I'm just I don't know, I think I have a a a little ways to go learning this business a little more. You know what I mean? I I want to be a hundred percent on what I'm doing before I do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:39

But it's kind of like being a parent, honestly. You'll never be ready.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:43

Yeah, yeah. See, and it's one of those things where I'm like, but you know what? Like I said, I do my best work when I'm under pressure, so it's almost like I gotta take that leap one day.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:50

You do it safely though, like build up a safe, like a six-month safety net and then do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:55

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:55

And you know, smart ways to still take a risk, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:58

So it's it's a long run thing for me. It's not something that I want to just jump on, man. Um, I still got some things I want to do. And so, but that's that's the next step, man, is eventually, you know, having a little spot on my own and uh and then just growing from there, man. I got you know, my daughter's gonna graduate in a couple of years, so hopefully before then, so that I can open up a chair for her. I would like to have, you know, a chair set secured to help her get the business up and and running and um give her a shot that no one ever gave me, you know, business right out of high school. Um yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:33

I thought about that too, like for my kids. I'm like, man, I'd like to give them like have my business to a spot where I could just hire 'em. But then I was thinking, I was like, uh maybe maybe I I should like give them a year though to go flip burgers. There you go. Yeah. Maybe they let them know rather than like just like here's a job. Oh yeah. But Oh no, they could up but up maybe I could just start 'em working that in high school. Mm-hmm. And then when they get out of high school, then like you were into, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:58

That's my plan. And like have my daughter go out there, do you know, flip some burgers or do some shit. Like get it under your belt. You need that.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:06

That's why I'm teaching my kids right now, just like at 10 and 11 years old, about flipping. And my niece, because she wanted to go and work at KFC up in Oregon or something and flip chicken or fry chicken all summer long. She's like, well, it's Oregon, and they have $15 an hour. And I'm like, Boo freaking who? Like $15, let's play this out. How many hours a week you want to work? She's like, uh, like 20 hours. I was like, okay, so you make $300 an hour before taxes, and after taxes, you get like $200, $220, something like that. I was like, okay. And then I took her and we flipped some golf clubs, and she made $250 in a day. And I was like, you want to go fry some chicken still? Or yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:42

She's like, oh, okay. Yeah, man, there's there's so much you can do. I mean, these kids, bro, they they really have the world by the nuts, bro. There's so much available they can do that wasn't available when we were kids, you know? Yeah. Um, and I want I want I want to get them up to speed on that. I want my kids to be successful, man. On in their own right. You know what I mean? Not not because I'm boosting them, but because in their own right they became successful.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:08

Dana White has this clip that's going around, it's been going around for a couple years now, but he's like, it if a kid wants to be successful, it's so easy nowadays because all the kids are just so damn lazy. Like it just takes a little bit of work to stand out among the whole rest of everybody else. It's so easy to be a winner nowadays. Yeah. You just have to put in the work. Yeah. And that's so true.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:28

Like, there's That's a fact. Yeah. Like, man, I just I watch my son watch videos of people playing video games all day. I'm like, you don't why don't you play the game? Why are you watching him play the game? What do are you this bored that you're watching somebody do something?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:44

I make my kids earn screen time now. Like I'm they have especially during the summer, I'll have them uh, you know, keep their phone in their pocket and we can control whether they can, you know, get more time on it or what. And I'm like, go get your 6,000 steps in. Go play. Yeah. I was a kid, dude. I was getting abused by my stepmom and she would have let me go play outside and all this, and I'm like one just to shake them and I'm like Do you know how good it is that I want you to go just go play outside? Like, you don't even understand what you how good you have it, and it's just it's hard as a parent. I'm trying not to take my childhood out on them, but like at the same time, let them understand like how good they have it. But I still want it's like a fine line for me because I fine line, yeah. I want them to know how good they have it, but I want them to have a hard childhood.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:32

A str I want them to struggle.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:34

It's structurally hard, right? And you have the structure of you're not, it's not a broken fucking yeah, you it's you you're throwing structure is what you're doing, bro. It's not you're not torturing the kids, right? Everyone's so soft nowadays, oh my god, shut up, dude. Mind your fucking business.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:50

Yeah, try and teach them like like you got your chores to do during the summer, get it done first thing in the morning so you can have the rest of your day. It's the same, and it's the same principle I tell my clients, like go work out first thing in the morning so you don't have to do it later on today, because it's like eating two frogs when you think about oh man, I have to work out after work today, and now you're like threading it and all that, it sucks. Go get that knocked out first thing in the morning. You feel better. It doesn't hit the same way. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:13

You know what I mean? Like an after you don't work on a dog shit. You do that shit in the morning. I'm up, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:19

Yeah, you're up.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:20

I'm ready to go. Uh I'm I'm 10 steps ahead already.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:22

Life's all about stacking wins, and if you can wake up on time, you go to the gym on time, you eat your meal. Before most people even wake up, that confidence you got inside your head is so much better than anything else that you can get because you just know that you're putting the work in while other people are still sleeping. Yeah, yeah. That's why I'm really passionate about this new project I'm gonna be working on, like that 333 design about like building in the dark. And I'm like, that's just what it is, man. Like while other people are sleeping, I'm putting the fucking work in. You know, well, speaking on the the fitness side, dude, and hopefully the whole world watches this video. What's your uh what's your goal for the rest of the year? The goal for the year, man. I'm your coach, so I gotta put this all on camera and hold me accountable. What are we gonna do? Wow, man. Um and the thing is we need to set a goal that seems like it's unattainable so that you have to work hella hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:11

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:11

Maybe like I just want to lose 10 pounds, weight. No, no, no. Go take a fetch it.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:15

No, look, so it it's so hard. It's so hard because I don't know what I'm gonna look like at a certain weight.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:22

Well, just tell this, tell the quick story um about you going and getting new pants.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:27

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, so for the wedding that I went to, right? Um never been to a wedding, bro. I've been invited, I've never gone, man. I was always too broke, I was too embarrassed really to go, man. And um for the first time, and it was one of my best friend's daughters, man, and and she's like, she's like a niece to me. I've seen her grow up, and um, and her husband comes to me, right? Her husband is is one of my clients, dude. And um so it was uh I would say I told Marissa, you know, these are the colors they're you know, asking if we can, you know, match or whatever. So pick a dress and I'll get a you know, I'll get a setup and everything. And uh yeah, I ended up having to go uh you know get a shirt, uh a nice polo. I don't wear nice clothes, man. You know what I mean? I'm very laid back, and so I had to go get a polo, and then I was like, man, I gotta get some pants to match this. So I went and uh I used to uh so when I started I I was in a 44 waist.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:23

When you started working out with me?

SPEAKER_03 1:55:25

Yeah, right. Um uh and then uh those were a little big, so I went to like a 42 and I've been in 42s forever. And uh so I went, I went, I went into the fucking uh I went to Walmart actually. They had Wranglers, they just cheap as shit, bro. I was like, these are nice. So um I went to Walmart, dog, and I and uh I was like, alright, so I pulled um I was like, okay, I don't think I'm a size 42 anymore. I think I'm a little smaller. So I'm a 40s, right? I grabbed this one, I'm gonna grab that one, I'm gonna try these both on and see what's up. I throw them on, dog, and I'm baggy. And I was like, get the fuck out of here, dog. There's no way I'm I'm a smaller size, right? I I was 38 in high school, bro. You know what I mean? Like, it's like no fucking way. So I tried they look good, I was like, cool. I went, um and uh and I grabbed uh I grabbed some 38s because they were bad, and then I threw them on and they were still like a little bit like an in-between size almost, you know what I mean? And I was like, get the fuck out. I didn't even know I had this win coming, dog. Because I haven't bought pants no joke, like six years I've had the same pants just sitting in my closet. Right? Like I don't really dress up much, so um, yeah, dude. I was like, What that's a you know that that's a big win for me, stacked, bro. I was like, damn it, hell yeah, bro. I'm back, you know, into this. Um I see and I see I look in the mirror, I don't see a big difference, but I feel it, dog. I feel it, you know. One of the biggest things, dude, and and uh where's I can tell you this, man. One of the biggest things for me was like getting my tits in check, bro. Man tits, you know? Just always very, very I mean it's shitty having man tits, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like it's weird, man. And it was one of those things where I was like, man, I can't wait to, you know, sculpt these and shit. I'm tired of having man tits. You know what I mean? And um and that's that's that's another one, man. I was gonna tell you today, is um, you know, I just noticing recently, man. I'm like, all right, they're starting to sculpt, bro. They're not what they used to be. You know what I mean? Like I'm definitely losing them. And it's those little things, man, that really so I don't pay attention too much because the weight is still there, right? Like it's still 270. And like the weight's there, but I feel different. I feel good, my clothes are are different, and um, and I'm starting to see the definition, man. So my goal, dude. Um, I know at one point I was I my goal was 220, right? To get down to 220. I don't know what I would look like, man. Um at 220. I think I might be a little too skinny for for my body, you know, the way I'm structured. Um I think 240 would be a great uh weight for me. So I think the goal is 240. Um, and then if if from there I'm like, you know what, I can lean in a little more, then 220 is the way to go, I think. You know what I mean? Um, I think my doctor said they want me like 160 something.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:34

You you're out of your fucking mind, dude. One I was I was 165 in like middle school. Dude, I would look like a skeleton, dog.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:42

I think we have to have I think 220 is a good goal.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:44

Yeah, I think 220 would be great.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:46

Um, I mean, I got even I wouldn't even consider 240 a good goal. We gotta go for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:50

You would should go to 220? Yeah, it's gonna be hard as shit. But I'm down, bro. Yeah, I'm down, man. Um all right, we'll do a follow-up. Let's do it. Don't let the world down. No, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try real hard. I'm not drinking though. So I've already, I've already, you know, I've already stacked that one.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:06

Um I think the biggest thing someone could do is make their goals public. When I told everybody that I was gonna leave the prison and I kept saying that over and over again, like I said, two years from now I'm leaving. One year from now I'm leaving. Came bedtime like you still leaving in six months? I'm like, yeah, I'm still leaving. I don't want to be a liar. Yeah, yeah. I can be a failure, but I don't want to be a liar.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:25

It's the same thing with the barber, right? I told everyone I was going to barber school, and when I found out I wasn't, I was bummed the fuck out, man. Yeah. No, you're right, dude. It's it's one of those things, yeah. Let's call it 220.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:36

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:36

Let's fucking get there.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:38

It's gonna be tough, man. But well, thanks for the recap and again the part two of your life. We know we missed a lot, so I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:46

We missed the business end of it. Yeah. I got caught up in talking, you know, just stories, man. Stories, stories, man. Yeah. But no, thank you for having me back on here, bro. It's definitely um it's great, man. I I love it, you know, speaking on on these things. And um I know there's like-minded people out there, you know what I mean? And um, hopefully, you know, maybe I don't reach the a whole lot of people. But if it's a one person, man, that I can, you know, that'll be like, okay. You know what I mean? I'll give it a try and shit. Focus on the one. Yeah, that's it, man. You know what I mean? Stack those wins. You know what I mean? Uh one of the one of the um one of my favorite lines, Nipsey Hustle, bro. Uh, he says, uh, the losses we can't erase, the wins we gonna celebrate. You know what I mean? And I've I I believe that shit, man. It's uh it's one of those things I again I teach my children, you know, sometimes a loss is a loss, man. Let it go. Yeah, can't erase that shit, right? Focus on the wins. They come more often than not, bro. People forget we're stuck in this mind state of of you know, just stacking those, oh my god, this happened and this. Shut the fuck up, man. Stack the W's, baby. You woke up today, your babies are safe, you're safe, right? Rents paid. Maybe you don't have money in your pocket, but goddammit, you got a place to live. Yeah, you know what I mean? Do you have food at home? You can't take your kids out? Don't worry about it, you got food at home. Stack those fucking W's, man. People gotta stop being so goddamn negative, man. You know what I mean? Yep. Gotta stop that. And and I think a lot a big thing too, man, is you gotta give yourself grace. Stop hounding yourself so goddamn hard. It's for everyone. Give yourself some grace, man. You're only human. You know what I mean? You're only human. Just give yourself some goddamn grace, man. And and I think the world would be a better place.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:40

Yep. No, that's 100%, dude. Thanks for coming on, man. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:44

Yeah, of course. Thank you for having me, bro.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:46

We'll uh we'll do the recap. Two twenty it is. Two twenty. Let's go for it. All right. Hell yeah.