Belonging

In this episode of Ma, Arya reflects on ohana, family, identity, and the deeper meaning of belonging. Not belonging because we have earned our place, or become who others expected us to be, but belonging because our stories matter to one another. A quiet reflection on chosen family, parenthood, and the people who know our story and stay anyway.

Ma: Between Sound is a contemplative podcast blending personal reflection, literature, philosophy, and cultural analysis. Each episode begins in conversation and is rewritten, refined, and performed in Arya’s own voice.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Welcome back to Ma, a conversation between sound. Ahana. What does it mean to belong? When I was younger, I saw a film set in Hawaii that many of us are probably aware of or have seen in some form or fashion in the past twenty years. I don't remember every detail of the story, but there is and always has been one word that stands out to me, and that's ohana. So much so that it's even tattooed on me, and between it are the initials of my children. At the time, I thought it simply meant family. But as I've gotten older, I've come to think there's something more to this ohana, and it it it makes me excited as a parent, as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister, as a spouse, so many things. Family is a simple world. But word, excuse me. Well, the world isn't simple either. But real life isn't simple. So some of us grow up with people around us who understand us. Others spend years trying to explain who they are. Some families fit together easily. Others spend a lifetime learning how, and yet somehow remain connected. And when I talk about family, I mean whatever version of family it takes for you. I'm not talking about the quote unquote American dream of a mom and a dad, a wide picket fence, and all of that. That's not what I mean. Family is a representation of whatever it means to you in your life. And we we remain connected. But Ohana is not about can perfection. It's about belonging, in my opinion. And it's about belonging not not because we've succeeded or met someone's expectations. Not because we've become the person that maybe others hoped us to be. And I I love how um Ohana has the belief that it's not just about family and it's not just about uh blood res relatives. Um it's it's it's none of that. And uh i it is that and then it's other things. Um in fact, ohana means that whoever is in your ohana, and if you want ohana to mean family to you, it means that they are never forgotten, they're never left behind, they are always with you, and you are always with them. It is an unconditional love and support, and for some people that's what family is, but I think Ohana goes even deeper than that because Ohana it doesn't matter what happens in life, it means that these people who have become your ohana, they're there for you always. And it doesn't always have to be family in the true sense of the word for some people or how it's written in the dictionary. It's not about our blood relations, it's about who we've chosen. And for me, it's about my parents, it's about my wife, it's about my children, it's about my sibling, it's uh about my niece and nephews and and my and all of those people that are in my life, they are my ohana. And the pe and also there are people who have walked beside me through different chapters of my life. Some chapters were joyful and some were painful, some I'd happily read again, and others I'd skip if I could. But they all became part of the story, and as a parent, I think about this often. My children are becoming themselves. Not the people I imagined, but I I'm I'm a hundred percent certain I didn't imagine what they'd become because I really just wanted to be open and have the joy of being a parent and let them see life and what makes them happy. And I I don't want them to be copies of me or anyone else. I want them to be themselves, and perhaps one of the most important things I can give them is not an identity. It is Ohana. And in this instance for me, Ohana also means that I give them the knowledge that they belong while they discover who they are. There's no earning your place in Ohana. There's no need for them to become someone just to be loved. That does not exist in Ohana for me, in my Ohana. Our home is not a reward, our home is a foundation. And maybe that's that's really what Ohama means to me now as well. It's it's not just family, it's not just identity, it's it's belonging. It's that thought that no one gets left behind. It's the quiet certainty that our stories matter to each other, and we're not meant to carry them alone. So and as I always do, I have a question for you to think about. Who knows your story and stays anyway? Who is your Ohana? This podcast has been produced by Sentinel Studios.