Baby Steps with Christ

I Don’t Love God Yet — But He Still Loves Me

• Leigh Trupin

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Do I have to love God to have a relationship with Him? 

In this episode of Baby Steps with Christ, host Leigh Trupin shares a deeply honest and personal story about how her relationship with God does not always look the way others might expect.

Leigh explains how she was judged by someone who was disappointed when she said she did not love God yet. Through this experience, she reflects on the idea that a relationship with God does not require pretending to feel something you do not genuinely feel.

Through her own journey, Leigh shares that God is not judging her for where she is spiritually. Instead, God continues to work in her life, teach her, and help her grow — even while she is still learning what it means to love Him.

If you have ever felt pressured to love God before you are ready, or worried that your faith does not look like someone else’s, this episode encourages you to start where you are and take one step at a time.

In this episode, you'll hear:

  • How Leigh was judged for saying she does not love God yet. 
  • Why God is not judging her for not loving Him.
  • How her experience shaped her understanding of a personal relationship with God.
  • Why you do not have to pretend to love God to begin walking with Him.
  • The importance of starting your relationship with God honestly and without pressure.

Join the Community:
Leigh invites you to her 100% free online community on Skool where you can grow in your relationship with God at your own pace without pressure or religious expectations. Listen to the podcast and access all free resources in one place!

Take the Next Step:

Resources :

👉🔗I Don’t Love God Yet — But He Still Loves Me

Welcome back to Baby Steps with Christ. I'm your host, Leigh Trupin. This is where we develop a relationship with God one step at a time, where we learn we have direct access to God and don't need a middleman. We can go directly to the source. And if you've been listening to this podcast from the beginning, then you already know this is not a place where I pretend my relationship with God is anything other than it truly is. I keep it real. I say it all the time. The relationship between you and God is exactly that. It's between you and Him. And just because it looks different than what others expect it to does not mean it's wrong. No one but God knows how He's working in you.

Today I want to share how I was judged because my relationship with God looked different than what someone else thought it should. I was recently invited to be a guest on a podcast, and I accepted the invitation and had a pre-interview call with the host. And that call started off great. I shared my story with her as I've shared it with you about how I didn't grow up knowing God, how He unexpectedly introduced Himself to me. I told her about how I became so upset with God that I called out to a devil I didn't know existed and became possessed. I told her how I tried going to church and it didn't work for me. And how eventually I became so desperate to be free that I learned to call out directly to God. And He set me free from the hold I allowed Satan to have over me.

She loved my story. She was intrigued. Then it happened. Deeper into our conversation, I said it: I don't love God. And as soon as those words came out of my mouth, her whole attitude changed. I actually thought she was going to tell me I was no longer welcome on her show, but she didn't. But with disappointment in her voice, she asked, “Did I hear you right? Did you say you don't love God?” I told her, “Yeah, you heard me right.” And I sat there. I waited. I could feel her disappointment with me over the phone. But I wasn't changing what I said. I said what I said and I meant it.

There was silence. Maybe a minute, but it felt so much longer. And then she said, “I need to think about this. I've never heard of such a thing. You were just boasting about Him.” And I told her, “Yeah, and I'll continue to boast about Him. I think He's a great guy. I appreciate everything He's done for me. I appreciate everything He's taught me. But I don't love Him yet.” And in disbelief, she went on to say, “When I look at how Jesus died on the cross for me, the love just comes pouring out of me. How can you not love Him?” And I told her simply, “Because I'm not there yet. I'll get there when I get there. The fact that she feels that way for Him is great for her. But I don't feel that way. And until I do, I won't pretend that I do.”

Listen, it takes time to love anyone, even God. Admittedly, I've been at this for a while with Him, but I don't love Him. Now I no longer hate Him the way that I used to. And I've grown to really like and respect Him. But love? Nah. And you know what? God's okay with that. Here's the thing: that woman was judging me. She was disappointed in me. But God isn't. My lack of love for God says more about Him than it does about me. And let me explain.

After that phone call, God made something very clear to me. He told me He's not judging me for not loving Him. He still loves me. He's still using me for ministry. He's still working in me. He's still teaching me. He's still helping me grow spiritually and in my relationship with Him, despite the fact that I don't love Him. One day I'll grow to love Him, but today's not the day. And God's okay with that.

God also told me that others will see what He's doing in me, despite the fact that I don't love Him. And that will inspire others to start their own relationship with Him, not loving Him yet either. And guess what? He'll do the same for you. You may not love Him yet, but that doesn't disqualify you from starting a relationship with Him. You don't have to feel for God how others expect you to feel. Feel however you feel or don't feel. Just take a step. One day you'll grow to love Him. But for now, God's okay with the fact that you don't. So don't feel pressured. Just start where you are. God will meet you there without judgment.

All right. These are my words of wisdom for you for today. I hope this message inspires you to build a relationship with God even when you don't love Him. And if this message resonated with you, please share it with someone you know needs to hear it. And don't forget to grab your free guide to today's episode. I'll leave the link in the show notes. Keep taking those baby steps with Christ. Until next time

Join the Community:
Leigh invites you to her 100% free online community on Skool where you can grow in your relationship with God at your own pace without pressure or religious expectations. Listen to the podcast and access all free resources in one place!

Take the Next Step:

Resources & Links: