EPISODE 3: The "PERFECT" Day with Hedi Field

In our third episode, “The Perfect Day,” we sit down with Hedi Field of Hedi Field Photography to explore what a “perfect wedding day” truly means.

Together, we unpack the common misconceptions couples often carry into the planning process, and the subtle (yet impactful) things that can stand in the way of a day feeling effortless, meaningful, and fully present.

More importantly, we redefine what “perfect” actually looks like—not as a rigid standard, but as an experience rooted in intention, emotion, and authenticity.

Through Hedi’s lens, we also dive into how this perspective directly shapes photography. Because at the end of it all, your photos are what you take with you—they are the lasting reflection of how your day felt. Capturing that feeling requires not only technical skill, but a deep understanding of moments, energy, and connection.

You won't want to miss the tea - 

Grab your coffee, because we're spilling the tea...

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:09

Welcome back. Thank you for joining us today for our third episode of Coffee with CoBella. Today's episode, The Perfect Day with Hetty. I'm Rachel Coger Farrow, founder, head planner, and CEO of CoBella Events. And I'm so excited to be here with you today. We're joined by Hetty Field of Hetty Field Photography to talk about what a perfect day really looks like, the misconceptions, the things that can get in the way, and how it all connects to photography. Because your images are what lasts long after the day is over. Let's What do couples think the perfect day looks like?

SPEAKER_00 0:51

I think the perfect day is a day that you get to be present in it and also enjoy it with friends and family. My most successful weddings are the ones that couples are just so in the present and not worrying about everything else that is happening around them.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Like if the flowers got to the church.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

I think, yeah. And honestly, I think a lot of my couples don't even notice things in the moment. Um, and that's why they're happy on their wedding day.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

So I have the opposite. I have a lot of couples that like we have, you know, you've seen my timelines. Like they're 30 pages, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

I have so many couples that on the day of cannot loosen the reins. And they want to check to make sure everything not a lot, that doesn't happen a lot.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

And maybe it's because I come from the photography aspect of things and I do naturally have a very calming presence. Um, I really prioritize my clients to feel calm and just having a good day. Um, and I do go out of my way to make that happen. Of course, things go wrong, and you know, we'll get to that probably more in this episode. But no matter what, probably just trying to enjoy the day is my biggest advice.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

Yeah. And I think couples agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Like that's why I like that. That's what they want to do.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

But they s should not be micromanaging the day because I think that will ruin the fun. Funny enough, I think I'm a type of person that cannot enjoy her own parties and events because I do do that, and hence I eloped and I didn't have a wedding because I don't think I could relax on my wedding day.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

You know, a lot of people don't know this. I was planning a destination wedding in Key West. And then I got pregnant and I was told I couldn't get pregnant, and I had just put a huge deposit down on the Casa Morena. And I was I was upset. I mean, you know, so we decided that we were going to elope a wedding planner, right? Like the wedding planner is gonna elope in their apartment with a flower crown and a moonloo dress and a giant pregnant belly with no shoes. Like I was not happy, and that was my wedding, and then we planned the bigger wedding for the next year, and I was like, all right, well, I'll fit in my dress, I won't be upset, you know, like whatever.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

And where was your bigger wedding?

SPEAKER_03 3:34

It was at the Chandler, but it was only 20 people. Okay. It's gonna be like an anniversary party set like celebration. And I got pregnant again.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

And it is a blessing, but I well, so I my point is I almost feel like Did you get to have the Chandler wedding? I did. Were you like pregnant? Pregnant, pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

I was pregnant, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

Yeah, um the Anna's alterations in Fall River. I am gonna give them a shout-out. They somehow took that dress out, and I was a double killer. So props to them. But I got to wear my wedding dress just for the pictures. I didn't wear it longer than that because I was gonna pass out. It was like cutting off my circulation. But I when was this?

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Was it during COVID? No, this was last year. Oh my god, how did I miss that? Yeah, duh. When was your wait, when was your March 21st? I think I I think I remember seeing the photos. Yeah. Now that I'm I post them every once in a while. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

A couple of photos of it.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

But funny enough, I actually don't go too much on my business page, and my friends and when their friends often get really like mad at me because I like miss a lot of things, but I don't really use Instagram to too much, so I miss a lot of posts. I do too.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

I'm on it, but not that much. I I have now I have my assistance to it because it's too much. Yeah, yeah. It's too much.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Yeah, it's too overwhelming. It is. I also just invested in a brick. I don't know if you've seen them, but it basically locks.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

You're the second person to tell me about this.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Yeah, I I need it. I try not to go on social media too too much.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Um I do enjoy it, but I think yeah, I think it's better not to be interesting for mental health and psyche.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

It is, and it I need my I think as a professional, I end up comparing myself a lot.

unknown 5:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

I don't need to do that.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

I don't need to do that.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Yeah, I think it's not healthy, it doesn't put you in a healthy mindset for sure.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's great for inspo, it's great for inspiring.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

If I want it's funny because I use it as like a search engine. If I need something, I'll go on it, but it's definitely not a good idea to spend more than an hour on it and just looking at posts.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

But it does offend people because I miss their posts or I'm not really liking or engaging when people are like, you didn't like my post. Like that reminds me of like my space when we had the top 10 friends.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Yeah, I will no, because I you're younger than me. No, no, no, not because of that. Um, I just I just didn't have that. Yeah. What expectations do you think come from social media? So my favorite couples are the ones that don't have social media. Why is that? Yeah. I think it can again, the comparison game, it can induce anxiety, um it can set unrealistic expectations, and there's a lot of that. And also trends really do change often. Um and if you try to chase the trends, um, you know, it's never ending. So it can really affect your mental health, in my opinion. And then um you won't be able to have a day that you know you're present in it, you're so worried about all the different things.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

And I think that's what I was not knowingly getting at earlier. Like a lot of my clients, they like they want to make sure that the custom matchboxes are out and they're displayed in a certain way because that's that was the point. Like it's not the point, the point is you're marrying your best friend.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah, and I am a perfectionist, but truly and true. Like, I am I am way more of a perfectionist. But that's why we have higher you, it's not your wedding. Yes, but I think like when I have my couples in front of me, I want them to just be in the moment when I'm taking their photos or whatnot. Um, and it's funny because I think most of my couples are like that, they care about photos, but they trust a professional. Um, we'll see how 2026 and 2027 is, but 2025 for me was a very good year to the point where I had like, you know, I I take on a good number of weddings per year for like the level of work I do. Um, and then I will have like, you know, a few days without like any emails, which probably makes you really jealous. Um, but that's how yeah, that's how unproblematic I would say my couples are. They're just amazing. Um, but we'll again we'll see how the next, I guess, like we're kind of switching generations, kind of Gen Z is getting married now. So we'll see how it's gonna be. But definitely more texting with the Gen Z and I would say with my younger clients, um, than email, which I love. I don't mind it. Yeah, we'll see how things go. But overall, so my clients are the types that aren't spending hours and hours on TikTok and trying to emulate all the trends and they want the more refined things in their wedding day, but they also trust the professionals that they hire and they can kind of let go and relax on the day of.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

I think that's the most important. Like, I don't care if you want custom whatever. I love it. I actually do too. If anybody, anybody that works with me, clients or vendors know that I'm a Morris girl, more is more girls, yes, more is more is more details. More like my house that I'm in right now. More is more is more is more. Yeah, yeah. I am all for it. If it's going to affect your mental psyche on your wedding day, would you put all this time, money, effort, sweat, blood, tears into? Don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

I think it also comes down to trust. I really want um couples to trust me because I actually care more about their photos than they care about their photos personally. That's a really good that's a really good way to put it.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

I'm gonna tell my clients about it.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Yeah, that was a great way to explain that.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

That's why you think they care significantly more about their day than probably. I mean, they care a lot, but we care. And in a deeper level than just like this business, I think we especially as females and creatives, it's our identity, and we don't want one of the most important things in my life. Me too. It comes equal to my family, probably.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

You know, I literally tell people my business is my first baby. Yeah, it it is though, yes, you know, it's the eldest child, but it's my first baby. Yeah, and um doesn't mean I love it more than my children, but yeah, it's very important to me. It is very important, and the reason is because of what we do, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

Um and you know what's funny? I often think that people already assume this, and then when I see like my clients like asking me questions or implying when when we do like the you know, consultation call, I assume that people know this about me, but then I have to remind myself like we just met and they don't know that I really care about their wedding name, so I have to like explain it to them.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

They're like, Yeah, I'm going to make this perfect.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No matter what, it comes down to trust. And sometimes um, I think most of my couples do trust me, thankfully. Again, I don't know about 2026 and 2027, but so far, so good for me. I've had couples where they don't really want to take too many photos. I think that could be a challenge. Other than that, I don't think I've had a situation where somebody's questioning my authority opinion on what should be exactly. They actually want me to make those decisions for them.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

Yeah, and I think that makes a huge difference too. Yeah, like some of my friends, I'm t I tell them no phone on your wedding day. You should not have your phone. Yeah, you should not have your phone. Yeah, definitely. And some of them are like, No, I I have to have it. And I'm like, Really? That right there is gonna that that just brought down your perfect day a little bit. Like it could be perfect if you just put your phone away. Yeah, don't know what's going on, don't have your maid of honor sneak into the reception and take pictures before it's set up because that's not what it's gonna look like, like that kind of stuff. Yeah, you know, well, and the social media thing, like as a planner for the times before they hire us, they go, Well, do you think this is a realistic budget? That is such a hard question to answer because I don't know what kind of flowers are we talking about? Are we talking about orchids and full blooms and a staircase ball? Or are we talking about minimalist centerpieces and a couple of pieces on the cocktail table? Because that could be anywhere between 12 and 30,000. Like I can't tell you if that's a realistic budget for you. Can it be done? Yes. Are your priorities in that budget? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Yeah, those are the things that I'm not super involved in. Yeah, but those are the things I think social media prevents clients from having a perfect day. Yeah, and even one person is listening and they are planning their wedding and they're not in the wedding industry. I also do attend seminars where I often see photographers who charge, you know, hundred thousand dollars and more. Yeah. A lot of those photos that you see on Pinterest, Vogues, fish specially, over the moon, brides. Those weddings cost anywhere from 500,000 a million and up. I mean, I do the same thing. I go on architectural digest and I want the house, but I just realized that there are lamps in this world that cost ten thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

I mean, yeah, you love them.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

I love them, but I think you do have to set realistic expectations. Although, you know, in Newport being a very expensive area to get married in, it still costs a lot to have a wedding, and you know, it can be a few hundred thousand dollars, but it might not still be in the caliber of the weddings that you see on Pinterest.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

Well, and a lot of times too, and I don't think this is talked about enough. A lot of these weddings are AI generated.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Are they? I did not know that.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

Oh my god, so many are not even real. Wow. So when you think of it that way, that's even scarier. These are things that aren't even real.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

I feel like literally I think that's why people are gravitating towards film photography because it's kind of like ra and authentic.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

And every time I get a photo done, we do film.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

Yes, film is a really good example of what people want nowadays, which is a little bit more authentic and real and raw and emotional. Um, and I love the direction that photography is going in, at least. I think people are caring a tad bit less about extravagant, just more design that is related to them. So, like they're bringing in their favorite restaurants or they're bringing in favorite. Yeah, exactly. For sure.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Um, I'm noticing that with a lot of the younger people getting married now, it's more so about tradition. Going back to tradition. Like and what is the point? What is the point of getting married right now versus the guest experience? Which I'm all for a guest experience. Don't get me wrong. I don't want you to make your guests walk a mile down the street. I'm not saying that, but I think it's gotten a little out of control, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah, it's not about your guests, it's about you. I think actually, Gen Z, it's funny you say that because I feel like they care more about having a party, and maybe the type of clients that I see is different.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

But they want to do it with the things that they like, yeah, not what other people want.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Whereas in the past couple of years, I've noticed people are like, I really want this, but I don't think my guests will like that. No. No, no, no, no, no. This is your wedding. Yeah. You want block print on your tables, and you think it looks weird with the striped seersucker, that's okay. That's yours. We can make it look good. Yeah. You don't need to worry about your guests with that. You're worried about, you know, I was just talking to my client yesterday and she brought up how she was worried that the guests were going to be upset if they had to wait in line for a drink. And I said, Some things we can't control. We're doing everything we can to make sure that we have enough staffing, bars. But if there's gonna be one rotten apple at your wedding that complains about that, don't worry about it. Yeah, like that's not that that's not gonna ruin your day. It shouldn't ruin your day. You won't know about it.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Yeah, and that's on them. And I don't know, I feel like I've been to weddings and I've never even ever crossed my mind to think about how long I waited. In a line. That's what I'm saying. Like, if the person is at the wedding and thinking about that, yeah, you probably shouldn't have invited them because they sound awful. Yeah, I'm usually just grateful for being there, but that's just me.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Me too. No, me too. What do you think are like some misconceptions couples have about wedding photography? Like, because a lot of times a lot of my couples want editorial or candid.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

What do you think about that? So I love the direction that wedding photography has gone towards. Um, and I think we are taking away, moving away from labels and putting ourselves in a box. So for instance, back in the day it used to be a fine art photography, and then you had your fashion photographers, and then you had your um, I don't know, dark and moody photographers. I think nowadays you have to look for someone that can do it all. So if you have like a light and airy situation where you have a wedding by the ocean and it's a bright day, do you really want like someone that is gonna make that the like sit on the people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, no, you don't.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

And uh and I have portfolio albums where that has happened.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Yeah, so you want things to be you want someone that is able to do editorial photography when the time is right and a documentary photography when things are happening. Um, so documentary is just documenting things as are unfolding. So, like think ceremony and cocktail hour and reception. Editorial photographer, my understanding is that it's more controlling the environment to achieve that editorial look, which more magazines and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Or posed or it's still controlled.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

So documentary is purely you don't interrupt the moment. Um, and editorial is more that you control the environment to achieve that editorial look. Um ready can be editorial and it's a little bit more fashion forward. Fine art photography is often associated with young format film. And I think we are moving a little bit away from fine art photography and that really, really light and airy, I would say. There's still a lot of people that do it beautifully and a lot of couples who want it. But I think what people want truly is more like your photographers in Europe or high-end photographers that kind of combine it all, where it's very true to color, a little bit inspired by film, but also has that editorial and documentary moments in it. You want to be able to capture movement, you want to be able to capture guests having fun, you want to be able to capture those iconic moments. But these often happen naturally, and you have to look for them throughout the night nowadays, or at least if I were to hire a photographer and what I ask I aspire to be is someone who can kind of do it all. I can use drone, I can use film, I curely a film photographer, but I can use different elements to really truly tell the story of the day produce some iconic photos because that's important. Their photos are amazing. Oh, thank you. No, they are they're so amazing.

SPEAKER_03 19:59

Like you, you really do, you capture it all, and you can do multiple styles. Yeah, like you have to combine well. A lot of the times my clients will ask for a specific like I I like uh candid, I like I like editorial, I like documentary, but I can send you to them, yeah, and they like you every time, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

And I think that's the key because you cannot truly be candid or editorial with family photos, you have to have structure. People don't want a weird angle often. Families don't want that in that five to ten minutes that we're doing family photos. Weddings move fast. We don't want to keep you doing portraits for hours and hours. So we need a list for that. At least I do. And there are some photographers that are truly, truly candid. And I wish I could be like that. But like I'm really good at it, so I wish I could kind of be like that. But I do get nervous that people will miss a photo with their and they regret it.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

That happens when really yeah, and I've had that happen.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

When we hire photographers that promise not to, because that's what the client wants, that's what they're asking for. But we're essential photos because of that. And that I think is a very common misconception: candid photos versus posed, and what you want. You want a little bit of everything because you will miss those emotions.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

And pieces a lot of my clients, because they are not used to being in front of the camera, do want some direction, which goes back to auditorium.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

I always want direction.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Yeah, I always do it.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

Not like overly sniff, no, I want, but I want it. Like I want you to tell me how to put my leg and move my head and rest my hand. Like, I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't want a bad angle. Yeah, you better tell me because if I see that photo, it's a bad angle.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

I'm gonna get a big thing. Also, like awkwardness is something that I look for. Like, I don't love awkward photos. I want to like a fifth grade, like that, but also some couples are not meant to be. I think that's a huge misconception. I have clients who are serious lawyers. They are, they work in, I don't know, finance, and they're not gonna do cheesy or playful photos because they're not naturally playful people. And they they work better when we give them a high fashion designer outfit for their engagement shoot, and we lean into more of that editorial and serious kind of, but we can still do my favorite, favorite engagement shoot that I've done. I just did it at Newark um the public gardens, and they were somewhat playful, but we it was very natural and very like it. I'm not gonna make them, you know, pick her up or do the same poses. I want them to be in their natural element, and then I'm just capturing them. And I want people to look good, and I don't think people everybody looks good and those, I guess, like code on code.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

No, that's a really good point. And I think you've hit something.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Some some people do look really good. They want and laugh all the time.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

But I think you've hit something because there are a lot of times too. Like, what do you do? What do you do when a couple is showing you photos that they want that they wouldn't look good doing that?

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Well, going back to trust, and a lot of my clients do trust me. I only ask for inspo pics to get a sense of their vibe, but I don't use it as a shot.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

Let's do this close. Does anybody ever give you those? Like, this is how I want this is what I want. Oh, uh no, yeah. I've had like 17 pages worth of the exact photos of that engagement shoot was my favorite.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

She works in fashion, she's actually the person that puts together those like decks for photographers. Oh, we love that. Um, but she still didn't give me like I want this pose. We were like, okay, like let's wear this outfit with this kind of like setting, and then we'll switch to this and vibe that they're going for. Yeah, we work on vibes, nothing.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

Well, I think that that sets the precedent for it to be a perfect day without it be like perfectly imperfect. Because I mean, that'sn't talking about misconceptions. Another thing that people don't realize, I am constantly taking photos. I rarely ever have time to even for a second stop taking photos. Um, you've seen me. I don't eat, I don't know you don't go away. Yes, I even when I'm buying.

unknown 24:24

I know, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Um, I do not step away. So I'm constantly taking photos and creating moments and getting to different angles. I think it's silly to me. You need to trust your photographer.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

Yeah, and I'm I don't like when couples are overly controlling, and I think that's where your perfect day is ruined.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

I think it also comes from maybe hiring someone that you don't fully trust them. Maybe they were your second choice, third choice. I think I think you just need to go with your guts, and I say that a lot.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

I think like if you're already uneasy about hiring someone before you even hire them, don't hire them because that planning process isn't gonna be fun. No, for sure. Yeah, I agree with that. So we all have couples that go, I all I want is the day to go perfectly. That's it. I just want the day to go perfectly, but like, has it ever actually gone perfectly? Have you ever had like the perfect, perfect day? What was the closest to a perfect day?

SPEAKER_00 25:25

I don't I feel like yes, and it's because I don't see the background. No, and one, because I have a memory of a goldfish and I forget all the all the bad things that happened. Um but yeah, I've had plenty of weddings that I'm like, oh, today was so perfect. But I can't speak on behalf of the wedding planner because I don't know if the florals were elite or they weren't correct, or I don't see that side of things. Right. If the sun is shining in Newgland and Newport and the grass is green and the birds are chirping, and that is perfect.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

I love that you said that because that means that on the back end we're doing our job because it looks perfect. Because I will tell you, not one event was perfectly perfect.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

I know I it was funny because I was talking to a wedding planner of mine yesterday, and it was like, wow, your wedding the other day, it was like truly perfect. It was like a very unique design, it was absolutely stunning. The bride looked so happy, and she like listed me like five major crises that like she had to manage. And I was like, I could have never guessed. I have stories of like days that almost turn into a disaster, maybe like dwarf rate. Well, the thing is, but not because of me, because of typically it's the weather, but I still I still we still did it. Make that clear, it is not because of her perfect.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

No, I'm kidding. No, you are, you are no, but and I think that's awesome that your day goes perfect, though, because that's the point of having a planner again. Not every wedding, but no, no, no, but you have had ones that do. I can tell you I have never had a perfect wedding, but I've had many weddings that look like they were perfect, yeah. And that is all we strive for. So I think that's awesome that you're also on that other end. Yeah, I mean that makes sense though. You're with the client most of the day in our lead.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Yeah, I'm not really. I come to a setup reception room, hopefully, and I'm I don't need to worry about what is the least perfect thing that's happened, most memorable. Yes, and I love this couple, but so to start off, I have a fear of flying. Oh, wedding. Oh, did you go on a boat or a plane for that? Yes, and there was a hurricane. Was this in September a couple years ago? Two years ago, yes. And all the fairies got canceled. Yep, and I was like, I ha I always tell my clients so funny. I'm like, unless I'm in a coma, I will be at your wedding day. Um, and all the fairies got canceled, and I had to go on this tiny plane. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

No, I was like, a four-person plane.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

And I got my husband with me on the plane, and I was like, it was the most stressful thing. I was like, I need to get to that wedding. And I actually got there.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

You did that for your client.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Yeah, I was like, I am getting there. No, I'll swim to Black Island.

SPEAKER_03 28:40

How much did it like it was expensive, right? To do a private plane like that.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

I I paid for it, but then thank graciously my clients did pay me back, but they didn't have to. I was just so worried about getting there that and the same, you know, their hair makeup artists did the same thing and they found ways to get there. Because Black Island doesn't have a lot of like photographers and you know, other vendors. Yeah, so everybody has to come in. Yeah, but I think that was and then obviously I got there and you know, set up everything, everything went well, and then I went and you know, checked in, met with my couple, and they were just starting to get ready in the morning. Um, and my bride was like so calm, but it was a hurricane, so obviously not great conditions to do photos outside, but they were so fun, and we only had like five minutes to do everything outside, but we still like it was just funny. Everybody was laughing. My bride wore like her rain boots, and we like ran outside and did photos, so it was still a great perfectly imperfect, yeah. It was it was a really, really fun day, and they were just sweethearts, honestly. I loved them so much, and it's funny because I was staying at the same hotel as them and where their venue was, and I kept running into them the whole weekend and on the way back from with the ferry, so their photos were very memorable and beautiful, and it was a very emotional day, so it turned out great.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

But wasn't it sunny at the end?

SPEAKER_00 30:20

If it's the same day on the end, no, no, unfortunately, I think the other part of the island got a little bit of something, but I didn't. Uh but we still do photos outside, of course, and we found like a beautiful hotel, and we they had like an empty space, and we did more of their like editorial portrait style photos there, and it was fun. That's awesome. I did get on a tiny piece of it.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

I would say that would that hit both my questions. I mean, that was a quick recovery.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

It was the only part that was really bad for me was the plane and a hurricane. Yeah, it was very I can't believe they were flying.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Have you ever have you had other weddings where like the the weather like it just threw you off?

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Always. I mean, weather is just I always have rainy, rainy days. If you think about it, last year it rained every Saturday in May and June, or like beginning of June. Yeah, a rainy wedding and easy. Um, but the rain doesn't throw me off ever. Yeah, I think that's what people worry about the most, especially with photography. I don't know the rain. Yeah, I don't worry too much unless it's like downpouring the entire day. We don't often get days that it's like fully downpouring. Yeah. I guess the challenge with the Black Island one was berries are a little bit more unpredictable. I kept like calling them and trying to see. Oh, they're impossible to reach. Yes, they're impossible to reach because I've I've done blocks. And then it was like fine like an hour before, and then yeah, they randomly just cancel out of nowhere. So my new rule is unless I can go to a wedding venue like a few days ahead of time, that is a little bit more hard to reach, it has to be I have to be able to reach it with a car.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

So have you ever seen something go wrong that actually made it better?

SPEAKER_00 32:08

I don't think so. I don't again, like I don't have a lot of major events at my weddings, they're typically kind of like perfect a day.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

That's awesome, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Like, what is your ideal client? I think there's an ideal client for each type of photographer, and there's so many different styles that you know my ideal clients will be different than somebody else. Um, I care a lot about fashion and design, and I love people I really get along with clients that I can like, and especially um, I say clients, but mostly brides.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

We usually work with the bride. And I work a lot with moms too. Yeah, we work with the bride, essentially. Like I I sometimes work with the groom. I would say like five percent of the time I'm working with the groom.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

I actually I think my favorite brides are the ones that you know live in the cities and like New York City or New York City girl. I I aspire to be or like Miami and they love, you know, like I feel like my Miami girls are colorful and fun and wild and yeah, they are confident. Yeah, it's it's funny because I'm describing some of my clients, but they just have this like aura of like they trust her professional, but they're cool and fun and they make good decisions with their fashion senses, and we can just have fun with them, take cool photos, they're iconic, and then their husbands are there. No, I love our rooms too, and oftentimes this type of bride people who are kind of cool and like that. But um, when I also work with men, they also care about their suits and they wanted custom tailored and oh I love that.

SPEAKER_03 34:04

Love that men please, yes, if there's anybody listening, please care more about your appearance. They do, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Some a lot of times they actually care more about photos sometimes. Um, and they want that editorial cool photos, and they want like I don't know, that's my ideal client. I've decided that I will be working with all your clients. We're gonna make a we're gonna make a package, yeah. And they like pose. I literally have so many instances where like the guy like cares so much about photos, and they want those like iconic, kind of like more serious, cool, like with me speaking a groom.

SPEAKER_03 34:49

Like, so we you know, my job, I have to manage so much stuff behind the scenes. I think a lot of times when things do go wrong, we're blamed, but it's like not like your planner is the one that wants everything to go perfect, and your planner is the one that's putting out fires, whether you know or not. Yeah, exactly. There's so much stuff behind the scenes. So I I just think I don't know, I feel like couples need to understand that it is so important, so so it's more more than I can explain and express to trust who you're hiring and let the let the professionals do their job. We know what you want, we know you have a vision, let us execute it. That is why you're hiring.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Yeah, and a lot of times I feel like my favorite couples are the ones that were kind of like teamworking to achieve their wishes and desires and want people to have a vision. I want it to be their vision and not somebody else's from like TikTok or social media. I want it to be unique to them. I wanted to work with their personality, and I will move. As I said, like with my photography, I try to be a little bit more fluid where flat lace, let's say, like the easiest thing to control. Um, I like to get the flat lace suite beforehand just so I can have the proper backdrop and I can like kind of be plus yeah, exactly. So I usually study for a wedding day, and I will have you know meetings with my team and just to prepare them. I have like PDFs of exactly you know the timeline, of course, but also the names of the family members, the family dynamics, and all these things and the design, which again I'm very passionate about fashion and design. It is just building a trust over the months and also really trying to understand their vision and then adjust your vendors as what make it perfect, not you.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

Like, yeah, you know, like it's true. Like, I get that you want this, and I know you want everything to go perfectly, and I tell everybody I promise you your day's not gonna go perfect, but you're gonna think it is, and that's all you need to know.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Yeah, and that also comes mostly from probably mostly you too. Oh, thank you. Yeah, because you're well, you're putting up a lot of fires.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

Oh my god. Yeah. Well, you worked with me on the worst wedding I ever had. That was the worst wedding I ever had. Yeah, that was the worst wedding.

SPEAKER_04 37:19

And it still went actually amazing.

SPEAKER_03 37:21

Yeah, it was great. And the couple was happy that they were, but behind the scenes it was a lot of things, though. A lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

I mean, well, I didn't even notice, so I say you did really good.

SPEAKER_03 37:34

Did you know that one of my girls I had to send her out to Warwick? No. What happened? They didn't have enough chargers, the the venue didn't order enough chargers for the table. So I had to send my girl out, which happens, that's yeah, that happens. So one of my girls had to leave, go to Warwick, and come back.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Oh, you want to hear a funny story? One thing, and I love them dearly, and I've done older baby photos after that wedding. But one of my favorite couples of the year, um, a few years ago, they the groom grabbed the wrong uh bow tie, and when we were like putting the bow tie on him, he had the kids' bow tie. So they actually had to go get and we were on the Cape. I think they had to drive like two hours or something like an hour to go get a bow tie. It was so funny. They didn't have a planner if they did.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

Well, if they did, we would have sent our assistants to go get you a boat.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Exactly. It was it was so funny, though. I just remembered that. Um things like that happen all the time, and you just have to, you know, half the time people don't even know. Like, you didn't know, you didn't know that you had a girl. To me, it was fine. The birds were chirping and the ocean was that's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

I mean, I can't tell you like how much stuff we did that day, including buying vendor meals. I know$500 out of pot.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

You know what though? I don't even care about food. I know like there are vendors who really care about food, but as a photographer, I like I don't either. I don't. I I know bands do. I don't care about food.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

I care that my client paid for vendor meals from a venue and that they should have gotten them.

SPEAKER_00 39:25

I know.

SPEAKER_03 39:26

And in the contract that they signed, they're responsible for feeding those vendors. Now am I gonna go to my client and say that there are no vendor meals? No, I'm gonna take care of it behind the scenes. I don't care. I mean, obviously, I care about my vendors being treated well. That's that's a big thing. Like, I want to make sure everybody you don't work well if you're not treated well. That's why I left my first job. Yeah, I'm not gonna be treated in any type of way like that. And I don't expect anyone that's working on a team to feel that way.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

And so no, you care so deeply, and it truly shows. For me, I have and this is kind of TMI, but I don't even go to a bathroom. It's so bad. Yeah, take care of yourself. No, I don't. It's kind of bad. But and I've worked like 12 hour days. No, but I know what you mean. But I go into this. Do you know that the flow state a lot of times it's really hard for me to like pinpoint what I do, but I when I take photos, I go into this like state of flow. Yeah, and I hung up and I have a hard time kind of getting myself out of it. We'll talk more. I know it's on the list to talk about the day after hungover from like a wedding day. It feels so funny because I don't drink water, I cannot, I can just go hours without eating. I don't even think about myself. I'm just like trying to because I have like a list in my head, I'm trying to get everything, capture everything so perfectly. And I I can relate to that. And most photographers that I know are like this, uh the ones that are at least successful, but yeah, we go into this like state of flow and we forget about ourselves. So I I a hundred percent one time relate to that when I had first started, I like had gone, and it's problematic when like you're working on a hot day. I like almost fainted at the end of the night. I was like, okay, like I maybe need to drink water throughout the day, and then nowadays a diet coke is the best thing at the end of the night. It's definitely needed to rehydrate.

SPEAKER_03 41:31

I remember when I first started, I was doing weddings with only one other person. Now be team's like six, and we were crushing it, but I did 32,000 steps that day. I was my god, that's crazy. Like, I'm not even kidding. I have my footbit and I 32,000 steps, and actually it died, so I probably did more.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

Yeah, I always lose weight during wedding season. Oh, such a plastic lose the baby weight.

SPEAKER_03 42:00

Yeah, no, I know, I know. Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

It's fun. I mean, we have such an amazing job.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:10

We're so lucky, so lucky.

SPEAKER_03 42:12

I say that all the time.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

And I don't know if you go to a lot of industry events, but that's one of my favorite parts about my job, truly. I love industry events so much. I'm part of Whip Up Boston. Hopefully, in the future, I'll go to more international industry to do that.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

Um, so I'm waiting for that. And then we have my assistant right now, is in Italy, and she is on like a eat, love, pray journey right now.

SPEAKER_00 42:39

I love that for her.

SPEAKER_03 42:40

Yeah, me too. But she, and I'm very honored about this. She believes in my company so much that she actually prepared business cards. She speaks Italian. Oh. She prepared business cards. Can you take me with you if you go to Italy? That's she set up so many vendor and venue meetings to get us introduced and make connections so that she can eventually go over there to have weddings for us in Italy.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

Can I go?

SPEAKER_03 43:06

Yep, please. You can tell me about that day after hangover.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

Oh, yeah. Um, and I'm gonna get my coffee. It's been too long, babe. I rarely, but sometimes it used to happen more when I, of course, just started. I used to a few years ago. 65 weddings a year. I've done when I first started doing wedding photography. Are you crazy? Yeah, you know, when I first like year one or two, and I only second shot briefly, and then I worked for a bigger company who outsources their, I guess, like photographers, and I really like within a few months I was their lead photographer. Um not surprised. And I yeah, I was very talented because I used to do photography before that, and I was I had like what's your story? Like, how did you stop? Yeah, so I feel like it's so cliche. I don't. I bought a camera when I was ten. No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_03 44:04

Um listen, mine mine can't be any more cliche. I planned a wedding and then wanted to plan a wedding. It's like it is what it is. You just find your thing.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

But yeah, it's funny because I bought a camera as in middle school and I started taking photos, just so many photos. But I wanted to actually be a journalist and do more like work photography, or that's when I didn't have a fully developed frontal lobe, but because it's so hard and I didn't realize that I'm afraid of everything in the world. Um you wanted to be like a journalist. Yes, I wanted more in the realm of magazines and journalism and taking photos like that. But I actually um did get published at a local newspaper. I had like a gallery, uh so I grew up in Iran actually. Oh yeah, so because the environment, of course, is a political space and I was a young, rebellious teenager. I used to take photos in spaces that were not permitted, and I did a lot of funny things when I was a kid. I was a rebellious little young kid. Um and it is a also a very artistic country, so like I I was very involved in the arts and I studied arts in high school and I wanted to be an artist, a journalist. Um and I moved to United States for college. Actually, I started with photography. And did you go to? I went to UMass, yeah. And I realized very soon that I did I wasn't learning too much from the program that I was in, so I switched to just business because I wanted to learn. And then I graduated, I uh became a US citizen, and so that kind of like amazing. Yeah, I what makes you you? I think it actually really helps me because those year that's why I say documentary style photography is kind of woven within my work because I have that photojournalism aspect. I used to take my camera, go to places that I wasn't really taking. The people are I find that they're more modern than America. Interesting. Yeah, so not just taught. Yeah, just to give you an example, my grandma and think like my grandma, she's 90 now, she uh graduated from college. She lived alone in the city and she bought her first house. She got married to the person that she loved. She had a baby at 30.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

That is not the picture painted in school.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

Oh, yeah. It's this part I actually would be good to say because um no, I I agree. My grandma was, you know, my whole family. My great grandma was educated, like everybody was educated. Yeah, I have the most like open-minded parents.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

I you have the most open-minded like personality and skills, yeah, because the city that I actually grew up in is way more open-minded and modern than here.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Like people have a clo Yeah, it's very progressive. We are taught politics from a young age, studied so much about art and history, and so I was more like, let's create some like like New York in the 90s, you know, like what I mean. So that's the scene that I kind of came from. Um New York in the 90s, yeah, and it was cool, and we were creating art, and it was it was awesome. But then I moved to the US and oh, and I met my husband, and we got married, and I became a US citizen, which has shaped me into this person and beautiful. Thank you unbelievably to be and a good perspective on because it's all about perspective and all about having an open mind and all about kind of like being an artist, and you do have to have a perspective of the world. I think my listeners need to know that she's the smartest woman in the room. Oh, I love you.

SPEAKER_03 47:59

You're so sweet.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

No, you're so smart.

SPEAKER_03 48:02

Okay, I am gonna say two different things, and you're gonna tell me which one you'd rather have on a wedding day.

unknown 48:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 48:10

Rain all day, but it's a perfect timeline, or sunshine for 45 minutes, but behind schedule.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

Behind schedule.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

You want to be behind schedule. All right. I would kill you. It won't happen, but no, I would take sunshine and be 15 minutes behind that. Yes. I agree.

SPEAKER_00 48:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 48:27

Um, the dress bustle breaks, or the DJ mic cuts out during the speeches.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

Bustle.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

Bustle.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

100% easier to bad music is not a good time. No, and well, bad mic. Oh, that's even worse. That's what it is. I judge bad mic.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

Oh my god, me too. Well, so and I think misconception, lapel mics are great because you can't see them, but don't do them outside ever. They pick up the smallest amount of wind and it goes in and out. Oh, yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 48:55

Do not, I don't care what entertainment company tells you that they have the best up-to-date new edge technology, it won't work. Yeah. I literally had this happen to me last year, and the band insisted, nope, no, no, we got it.

SPEAKER_00 49:10

It's gonna be and I feel like unless it's like a very good band. Oftentimes, bands have a lot of issues with their mics that are like at ceremony spaces.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

Well, that's because a lot of them use the lapels. It's not oh really, yes. So, and one thing about Newport, which we're mainly in Newport. Yeah, it's windy. Yes, it's always windy. When it's not windy, it's windy. Yes, you know what I mean? Yes, you cannot have a lapel outside because of that. Yeah, you can have a lapel if it's still, but I wouldn't even risk it. I always tell my couples just have a mic stand, just have a mic stand. You have never noticed a mic stand in a picture, you've never noticed it, you don't care. I promise you, it's not that big of a deal. Don't have it. Yeah, don't have a lapel because that's when you hear that cutting out. Yeah. So a band was insisting they have the best, best wind guard mics. And I'm like, all right, I want to stand on the side of that ceremony with a mic just ready to go. What do you think happened within five minutes? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

Also, when like mics don't work in the middle of speeches. Have you had that happen? No, that's a really bad mic and they have to run a different like oh god, no, I've never had that. I nobody notices, but we do. No, they notice, they just aren't gonna say anything.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

Those things are noticeable and they bother me like a lot.

SPEAKER_00 50:34

Or like if they play the wrong music during the first games. Oh my god, yeah, the wrong first. I judge. I judge.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

You had one job of making yeah, we have ten jobs. You have one, yeah. You just have to make music right. Um, crying flower girl or fainting groomsman.

SPEAKER_00 50:57

Yeah, crying flower girl. One thousand first time. Last um season, uh, we had a fainting bridesmaid. At the wedding, like in the at the church ceremony, yeah, in the middle of the church ceremony, and it was definitely not ideal. I always try to pretend nothing has happened during so do you also do the same?

SPEAKER_02 51:17

I'm like, I pretend nothing happened. That's why you think my days are perfect.

SPEAKER_00 51:23

So funny. Like, no, who fainted? I don't see it.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

I had a um, I had a a bridesmaid give birth at a wedding. That is insane. She was going into labor at the ceremony, she was in the church, she didn't want to tell anybody. So she waited until the ceremony was over and she never came back. And we she texted us a picture.

SPEAKER_02 51:44

She put texted us a picture the next day. Or no, the night out that she had with her baby.

SPEAKER_03 51:49

Oh, that's such a good friend, such a good friend, but what a wild story.

SPEAKER_00 51:55

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_03 51:56

Poor thing. And I wish she told somebody like hi, we could have helped. Yeah, that's so funny. Um, but amazing, amazing, yeah. Late limo or missing boonier. Missing boonier.

SPEAKER_00 52:09

Nobody cares about boone ears, honestly. I don't. A lot of people aren't even doing them anymore. Have you thank god I hate boon ears?

SPEAKER_02 52:16

Yeah, why? You just don't like the way they look?

SPEAKER_00 52:19

No.

SPEAKER_02 52:20

Oh. Do you prefer something else?

SPEAKER_00 52:22

Or are you just I think a chic suit. Oh. But it has to fit right. I think I think nothing matters as much as a good fit.

SPEAKER_03 52:33

I agree with you.

SPEAKER_00 52:35

Nothing matters.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

No, that's not true, actually.

SPEAKER_00 52:38

No, a lot doesn't matter. A lot doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 52:40

If a suit doesn't fit right, a lot doesn't matter, but if it's powder blue.

SPEAKER_00 52:47

I don't know. I don't have a lot of strong opinions about a lot of things, but uh it has to be a good fit. A good fit.

SPEAKER_03 52:55

Perfect photos, but stressed couple, or imperfect photos, but a happy couple.

SPEAKER_00 53:01

This is so hard because I care about perfect photos and I also care about a happy couple. I don't know. If they are happy with their photos and say a happy couple.

SPEAKER_01 53:19

Over over the quality of the city.

SPEAKER_00 53:22

If it's gonna if it's gonna stress them out to like do something that they don't want to do, then I guess I can. I guess I can insist.

SPEAKER_02 53:36

Um, okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:38

And alright, these ones are fast, ready? Okay. Ben refuses to play dinner because they don't like the menu, or DJ disappears mid-reception and passes out the bushes. DJ.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

That's actually happened, by the way, in my both of those things have happened at my wedding. That's crazy. Father of the bride gives a completely inappropriate speech, or mother of the groom hijacks the microphone for a toast.

SPEAKER_00 54:01

Father of the bride gives an inappropriate speech. Yeah, because we don't know what the mother of the groom said. She might have said something sweet and short.

SPEAKER_02 54:09

Just so you know, all of these things have happened to me. That's crazy. And the father of the bride was by far the worst thing that ever happened.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like I've had bad father, uh, not too much, but I've had a few where it goes for too long and he everybody's rolling their knees.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

Really? Oh god, it was so bad. Um, Florida shows up drunk, or cake delivery is late and the top tier broke because the baker forgot about the wedding. Both things have happened at my wedding.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

I feel like the cake. Because it's the Floris being drunk is salvageable. Yes. As long as she does her job well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:51

Um band starts playing off tempo and ruins entrance, or Shreen Quartet quits mid-ceremony because of an argument.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

Those are both disastrous. I hate that. Um I'm gonna go with the mid-ceremony thing because we need the exit song really badly.

SPEAKER_03 55:15

We usually have speakers set up so we can take care of music.

SPEAKER_00 55:19

Really? Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 55:22

Rental company drops a table or chair mid-setup, or tent collapses during the clock. Tent!

SPEAKER_00 55:28

Tent!

SPEAKER_02 55:29

You'd rather have the tent?

SPEAKER_00 55:30

No, this one's worse. No, that's one was worse. Yeah. Are you kidding me? That is geez.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

Oh yeah. Makeup artist arrives late and cuts time short, or hairstylist accidentally ruins a hairstyline ceremony.

SPEAKER_00 55:45

I'm gonna say late because ruining a hair is kind of it can be interpretive. Like, it might not look that bad. Yeah, they might be unhappy, but it might look good. But a late start to a hair makeup will ruin my day.

SPEAKER_03 56:00

It'll ruin everyone's day. Yeah, I don't really be an imperfectly present day.

SPEAKER_00 56:04

Thank God I work with incredible hair and makeup artists. Me too. It never happens to me because I love the teams that I work with.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

Who's your favorite? You can do a shout out.

SPEAKER_00 56:16

There's so many, and I'm so sorry if I miss people, but I Ali Lomazzo has done my hair makeup so many times. Love you, Ali. She's really good. Um, but there's so many people like I think Erica is really yeah, her team. Yes, amazing. There's so many people. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 56:35

I'm just we'll be insulted if Jenny doesn't mention you. I asked her on the spot. Yes, and I also have a list on my phone, but I can't remember everybody.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

Mark Marquise Hair, Mark Marquise Mary Cruz, Mary Cruz.

SPEAKER_03 56:51

Is it Mary Cruz? I freaking love her.

SPEAKER_02 56:53

So then I also love Romina.

SPEAKER_00 56:55

Romina is incredible. And yes, I that's a fabulous that's a common combo that I get.

SPEAKER_03 57:02

Corey and Co. We work with love, yeah. Upstyle and co upstyle and co love. Girl, so many people. See, we have a dream team right there, and most of my couples go with the same people. Oh, and Kitty Dunbar, I can't forget. Yeah, so good. She's fabulous, and she does so much.

SPEAKER_00 57:17

Yeah, yeah. There's so many good Terra Mickup artists.

SPEAKER_03 57:20

Yep. And if we forgot you, we love you. Thank you for joining us today, everyone. Hetty field photography. She's fabulous. Please give her a follow. Be back soon. We're out of tea to spill today, but don't worry. A fresh pot's always brewing. Follow, subscribe, and share. And if you've got a topic or want to be a guest, slide into our DMs. Thanks for listening to Coffee with Cosabella. Until next time, stay caffeinated and a little bit extra.