The One About the "Heart of the Matter"

Welcome back, friends!! In this episode we talk through the realities of being in front of the camera both from a wedding and portrait, family or otherwise, perspective. From practical advice to diving deep into the "Heart of the Matter", we tackle it today. Join us!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Hello. Hello, everybody. We're back. We're back. You're back. I'm back. Yay. Woohoo! Back for another episode of the Red Letter Days Podcasts. We are your hosts. I'm Sean.

SPEAKER_04 0:16

And I'm Michaela.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

And we're so happy that you're here with us, guys. Thank you so much for all your support and everything. It's just every time. I'm just so thankful for the people. Thank you. For the people we have in our lives. Welcome back, sweetheart.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Missed you. Mr. We we missed that you were a part of the nerd day.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

That's okay. I I listened to the nerd day and I loved it.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Oh good.

SPEAKER_04 0:47

Great job.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Good job, Josh.

SPEAKER_04 0:50

Yay, Joshua. You did fabulous. And so did you.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Thanks. Well, I'm trying, I'm still trying to figure this out. I feel like I talk too much in some instances.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

And so I'm trying to I feel that myself.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Trying to find the balance. Well, today I think you'll probably do more of the talking. Shoot. Which is good. It's great.

SPEAKER_04 1:12

I mean, good for you if you don't want to talk very much.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

And good for our listeners.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

Oh. You didn't have me last time, so you get double portion this time, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

I think it's great. All right. And I think you have a lot of wisdom to share today. And uh want to do some ketchup before we get going?

SPEAKER_04 1:32

Yeah. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

So this is in in full transparency, this is take two.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

Yep. Yep. It doesn't always work to wing it.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

And I was noticing yesterday that it was kind of like gloomy and rainy outside, which is like we we love that if we don't have to go anywhere. Yeah. Like we can get in cozy and everything. But it also puts us into a certain mindset of like, yeah. Yep. I'm just kind of chilling and very laid back. And so we didn't like prepare a ton. We I had an idea what we were talking about, we but we didn't do a ton of preparation. So we did the whole thing, and we're like, yeah, it's great.

SPEAKER_04 2:13

It works fine. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

And then today, like, I think we need to redo it.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

It woke me up. Like, I was thinking about it as I awoke this morning. Like, oh my gosh. That was so scatterbrained. We need to redo that. So here we go.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

And we can. And it's okay because we want to we want to get it right. And it's our podcast at the end of the day. So um, but today it's kind of nice outside. Get the sun is shining and everything. So maybe that has something to do with it.

SPEAKER_04 2:47

I feel the warmth of the sun.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

I can see it shining on you. And maybe it gave us a little bit more clarity. But um I I have to share right now, just get this out of the way about my recent adventures because I think it's I think a lot of people are gonna relate to it.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

So, listeners, what's the deal with Facebook Marketplace for real? Like this this thing is insane.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

It's the wild, wild, wild west on the earth.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

It really is. It's crazy. And so for me personally, I've been kind of doing this thing where I've been helping uh our daughter Emma and their dan and her dance studio kind of sell off some older gear and everything because they're gonna get like a new system that they're gonna be using for their performances. And so I figured marketplace would be would be fine for that. Yeah, and so in that process, I started looking around the house and finding things like oh, I can get rid of this stuff, get rid of that, and everything. And so I do all the research beforehand and make my posts and title, and Chad helps me. Chat GPT, Chad, I call it Chad, helps me kind of come up with the whole thing and figure it out. So some of these things I'll get responses immediately, like same day, and then literally the next day I'm I'm bringing it and dropping it off with somebody, and they're paying the asking price, and it's like this perfect transaction. I'm like, marketplace is the best. That's the dream. And then you have this completely other side of the pendulum experience. So we're gonna be getting a um inflatable hot tub here soon, thanks to Michaela's dad. Thanks, Grandpa D. Yeah, and that's really exciting. But the trade-off was Michaela uh said to Emma, she said, Okay, if we do this, we're gonna have to get rid of the trampoline. And I I'd hate this trampoline. Like it's it's been great for the kids, like we've had it for many years, but now at this point, because they don't use it, it's literally just an obstacle when I go out and do yard work. So I have to pull this thing, literally, pull this thing across the yard when I'm doing yard work. So it's become a little bit of a burden for me. It's fine, it's been great. But yes, when you said that, I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:04

Right, because for a while now you've wanted to uh move on from the trampoline, and I have been like, nope, let's not, because I think there's some sort of like sentimental aspect of it.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Totally. It it well it came in a very unique time in our lives.

SPEAKER_04 5:21

Yeah, this it was from the grandparents, all of our all of our kids' grandparents, as a gift during lockdown. So it was like amazing, super special to me in that way. And the kids have loved it, got a great use out of it, and now they're older and busy and they don't use it as much, but I still want to think of them as little.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Yeah, no, it's and it has been great. Like when we do outdoor movies and stuff, this is true. They'll they'll go on the trampoline and and and watch it from the trampoline.

SPEAKER_04 5:49

It is still cool, but now we can watch it from the hot tub.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

Yes, now is the time. And so I was super excited. So I'm like, let's just put this thing up for free on the marketplace. And so I did. I made the post, took the pictures, all the thing, um, and got a bunch of responses immediately. Like just tons of people flooding my messenger, and I want this, I you know, whatever, whatever. I'm like, great. Um, and then it was kind of a battle of like, well, who can get here first? Then because I'm like, first come, first serve, guys. Like, just just come and get it, literally. And I'm not helping disassemble it, and I'm not held helping you load it.

SPEAKER_04 6:28

Like, I'm so done with this thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

And so uh it's pretty big, so yeah. So, anyways, it kind of came down to like two primary people. Um, and so one person was like, I can come right now, and the other person's like, no, like, and then they're like, I'll give you a hundred bucks. And I'm like, Oh, okay, well, I'll let the other person know. I figured that was gonna end there, you know. Sure. So I went back to the other person. I said, sorry, this person offered me a hundred bucks, so I'll probably give it to them. And then they're like, 125. I'm like, oh boy. So it literally started a bidding war, it ended up making it up to$180, and then the other person just like drops the got uh drops the gauntlet and was like$325 if you help me disassemble it. Yeah, I'm like, wow, something that I put up for free, like all of a sudden,$325. And so I let the other person know, and they're like, uh, well, thanks for trying to make everybody happy. You know, they can have it for$325. I'm like, okay. Like if anything happens or whatever, just let us know. I'm like, okay. I'm thinking in my head, no, like it's a done deal. Like they want it real bad. Yeah, like they're and they literally messaged me, they're like, We're an hour away, leaving now. Um, and then they texted me with like a 17 minutes out message. I'm like, great, just park in this third bay, you know, and everything. And then the 17 minutes goes by, 20 minutes goes by, 25, half an hour. I'm like, I message them like, you guys, are you did you get lost, or can I help you get here and everything? No answer, no response. They didn't even see the message, like to open it up or anything. And then I'm like, hello, you know, just nothing. An hour goes by. And I'm like, I apparently just they decided to it's like you said, what do you what do you relate it to?

SPEAKER_04 8:30

I said um the only thing that I could come up with to explain the reasoning was like it's some modern day version of a prank call.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:40

Which is terrible.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

Like what? Seriously. I mean, it did sound too good to be true, but you know, maybe it was gonna be like a lucky break, but apparently not.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

Anyways, I so my brain immediately goes to, oh no, they didn't make it. Like, are they in an accident? Are they okay? Or maybe they got uh detoured in and out and they got stuck there or something, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

I mean, but then let me know. Yeah, they didn't communicate at all. If that's the case, that's fine. Just let me know.

SPEAKER_04 9:08

So they was fake.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Yeah, so I don't know what happened to them, but I went on there and I rated them one star and just message and everything. And that's the that's the weird thing. It's like you're not like what's you didn't gain anything from this except you know, now people are gonna, anyways, it's probably a fake profile. Yeah, I don't know. Anyways, I had to message that other person and be like, uh, they know showed and everything. They're like, You're kidding. So, anyways, it ended up working out great because this this uh this gal, um, she was super excited because her son is one of these for a long time, and that kind of led me to thinking, like, you know, maybe I'll just ask these people stories, like, why are you why do you want this and all that kind of stuff? And then I can choose based on like you know who who kind of could use it more, right?

SPEAKER_04 9:59

Like send in your application. Yeah, let's hear.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

So I guess in a way, my greed got the better of me. Sure. My my humanness, my greed got the better of me. It was kind of fun that it was a bidding more thing, but I was humbled in the end.

SPEAKER_04 10:14

Crazy Facebook man.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

But yeah, so that's the that's the full like pendulum that marketplace can be. I know there's people out there that that get it and everything, but anyways, that's been my recent adventure.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

So I will be so excited when I have everything sold off on marketplace. You're getting close. Yeah, almost there. Yep. Almost there.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

Good job. Way to way to handle all of that. The highs and the lows.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

I'm I can I can tell in my posts and in my descriptions and how I interact with people. I I'm getting more and more jaded. Like, you need to you need to answer this question or something like that. Like, are you a real person? Yes, you know.

SPEAKER_04 10:56

If it's still up, it's still available. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

That's the first line in the Adam description. Just get that stuff out of the way.

SPEAKER_04 11:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Anyways, that's my rant.

SPEAKER_04 11:05

So it's a good one. Yeah, so you've been up to that. You've been still busy, still doing lots of things.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Like good stuff.

SPEAKER_04 11:14

We had our first wedding of the year last weekend. Yeah. Oh well, I guess a weekend and a half ago now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Um weather turned out great. That's it was great.

SPEAKER_04 11:24

Yeah, it was beautiful. I'm so happy for them. Yep. Um, they had uh, I think um the meal. I was like, how did you guys do this? They had these like burrito bowls for their meal, and it tasted just like chipotle, but it was like homemade.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Exactly. Yeah, it was weird.

SPEAKER_04 11:46

I was like, wow, this is kind of tripping me out a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

But yeah, so good.

SPEAKER_04 11:51

Props to the cooks, man.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Well, and the great thing was they had the bowls kind of pre-made, but they also had giant bowls of like the proteins and stuff like that. So you could just add a little more, whatever you wanted. And it was like, oh man, that's great. Perfect. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:05

But it was a great day. It was a great day. They were very sweet.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:08

Um, it made me excited to get back into wedding season. I know we have like another month or so, month and a half.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Yeah, month and a half. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:17

Um, before like it officially kicks off for us. But that was a good like help us out in the meantime to scratch the wedding itch because I miss it.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah, me too. It was a nice ease, ease in, yeah, ease back in. And yeah, I'm I'm really excited for this season.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah. It's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_04 12:36

Woohoo.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

Okay. Okay. Shall we dive into this?

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Yeah, let's dive into it. What's the you you put up a poll?

SPEAKER_04 12:44

I did put up a poll in Instagram Instagram stories, which I'm not the most savvy with these, so I felt pretty proud of myself to figure out how to do that. Yeah, well done. Good job. And I realized you couldn't like give a full explanation in the poll. And uh if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of long-winded. Like I just can't condense into a few words, so I had a hard time with that. But um, the one that every the most people voted for was how to feel best in films and photos. And I couldn't like explain in depth what I was thinking with that, but what I was thinking was what are some of the ways that basically um give you the best end result? Like make you the most comfortable on the day, but also help you to look like you've felt your best, you know, in in your photos and in your films.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

So yeah, because I think there's more to it, it's kind of a deeper subject than people might realize initially.

SPEAKER_04 13:49

Yes, it's not just about your outfit, although that does play into it a little bit. Yep, but there's like a whole psychological part of it. So um, yeah. So I th I thought we could dive into that. We could kind of talk about um think tips, like practical ways for it, and then also just actually tackle that psychological part. Um, it applies to weddings and it applies to like family senior portrait sessions and whatnot. So I figured we'd talk to all of it.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

I love it.

SPEAKER_04 14:23

Photos and video. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:25

So yes. Um, I'm I made notes this time.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Good job. Good job. Very organized.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

So I'm gonna be referencing them and you can help reference them as well.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Yep, I'm tracking along.

SPEAKER_04 14:38

Perfect. Um, I think like just as kind of an opener, like the reality of it is that our society and the way things are viewed nowadays, there is this immense pressure on people to look a certain way, act a certain way, present a certain way. Yep. Um, and because of that, we all have our like insecurities, our like fears of being awkward or uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 15:12

And I just want to let you guys know that that is like a real thing, and it's totally normal to feel that way, you know, because of the way that um our society views photos and films and like because of the social media world and the pressure it puts on people.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Yeah. I think because of the way that the more successful influencers are, you know, they have a majority of the audience, and so that how they portray and everything, that creeps into our, you know, kind of insecurities and stuff like that, and makes us think, oh, I need to present myself that way and everything. And so we get in our heads and start to care more than we should what people think about us and everything.

SPEAKER_04 15:58

Yep. So you really play the comparison game or the am I living up to it game, you know, all of those things. So that is like a natural thing to feel. It's something that I've personally experienced, you know, it's it's okay. I hear from most people before going into a shoot or on their wedding consultation, like just so you know, we are really awkward.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Yeah, I've heard that so many times.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

We do not know what to do. Yeah, like I help basically, you know, and so just putting it out there, guys, that is the most common, most natural response or feeling to being in front of cameras.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 16:43

It's not natural to be model like, and if you are that, then that's great. There's no shame in that either, but like there's no pressure for you to feel that way.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 16:54

Um so just with that in mind, um, we get it, and we have some tools, but I also want to say it's it does matter that we feel this way because it translates into what your photos look like and what you look like on film.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

Right.

SPEAKER_04 17:14

If you are hyper-fixated on how awkward you feel, you can tell.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah, you can't hide it very well. Not not many people can hide that well.

SPEAKER_04 17:26

So um it's something that, you know, if you care about that, then you might want to put in the work to address that ahead of time, you know? So um it's it's almost like a perspective shift that really changes the whole everything.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

I think that's the key, is that perspective shift.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

Yeah. Um and before we go more into that, let's just talk about the practical stuff. And what can um not necessarily not wow. I had a lot of coffee.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

You're doing great.

SPEAKER_04 18:05

And then I had a diet coke.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

So you had a I haven't had a diet coke.

SPEAKER_04 18:09

I probably should have some water. Buzzin'. Okay. Um, so what was I saying? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

You were going into the practical tips.

SPEAKER_04 18:19

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 18:21

Okay. So this kind of this translates for photo, for video, it translates for weddings, portraits, basically anytime somebody is capturing you.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 18:33

Okay. Um and I'm not gonna rapid fire per se, but we'll move through through these pretty quickly.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:40

Um, okay, so first off, what you wear matters.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

Like, I know it's you do need to be comfortable as in feel good about what you're wearing, because if you don't like what you're wearing, you're gonna be stressing about it.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

Um that being said, it's not necessarily comfortable to wear some of the things that people have to wear on wedding days or whatnot, you know. But yeah, so comfortably that's like an all-relative word. Like within reason. Yep. You need to feel good.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

So when you're planning an outfit, don't go so far outside the box that you're immediately self-conscious, right? It needs to fit you, your style, what you feel good about yourself, you know, in that kind of style. Yep. Um same thing with hair, ladies' makeup, um, or dudes, whatever. Um like you want to have you want to first of all style yourself. So do your hair.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yep. Do your hair.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

Do your hair. Guys, please do your hair.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Guys, do your hair. Don't wear hats like all the way up to right before you're gonna get your pictures taken or whatever, and then take your hat off and then think it's good because you'll have hat marks and weird creases in your hair and everything. Come on, we know this. Yes, we do.

SPEAKER_04 20:10

And while, you know, editing is a thing, there's that is not kind, number one, to do that to either photographer. Your loved ones are not gonna appreciate it, and like videographers are not gonna edit frame by frame to get stuff like that out. So, like, no, just it's simple, it's so much faster to do your hair. Yep. So do your hair. Yeah. If you need to refresh your hair, yeah, do take the 20 seconds to do that. Okay, yeah. Ladies, do your hair in a style that is you're comfortable with, like you feel good about. If you need to go get it done, go get it done. But also don't take risks 30 minutes an hour before your shoot. So, like, if you need to do a practice run, do that the day before or a week before, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

That's good advice.

SPEAKER_04 21:02

Plan it out. So you're like, I'm gonna do my hair this way. Let's practice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

You know, yeah. I I think in the in the world of the guys, like I I like go getting like a fresh cut, yeah, right before, you know, I know I'm gonna be doing a photo shoot or something like that, like family photos or whatever, especially if I'm gonna be a groomsman at a wedding or something like that. Even if like I'm attending a wedding, like I wanna, I wanna look good, you know, because it's like a it's a it's an honor to be invited in the first place and everything. So I actually get a little excited going to get a fresh cut and everything.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

And take a little pride.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I want to take some pride in that.

SPEAKER_04 21:39

Take a little pride in how you look and present yourself, you know?

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

Um, but yes, definitely like put in the work beforehand, you know.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

I like the run through with the the hairstyles. That's that's really good advice and something you probably wouldn't think about otherwise.

SPEAKER_04 21:56

Yeah, a lot of brides will do it um because there is so much pressure. On that hairdo. Sure. But like even if you're doing it yourself, you know, just practice it or at least plan it and do something that you've done before. Yeah. Um, same with your makeup, like just do it. If you if it's something new, yeah, practice it. Don't do something that's like right before the shoot and it's gonna stress you out if it doesn't go the right way. Yeah. You know, like build in a buffer time or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

Um another note when it comes to makeup is most people, if they especially if they don't wear a lot of makeup, they feel like their makeup is way too heavy before a photo shoot. But let me just say that it's always better to have like a little more color on your cheeks or lips or something.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Translates better on camera.

SPEAKER_04 22:43

It translates a lot better on camera.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Okay.

unknown 22:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

There's probably a fine line there.

SPEAKER_04 22:48

Yeah, I mean, there is, but like better than like no color in you completely like sure.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:56

One-dimensional. You know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

No, I get it. I get it. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:59

Um, and make sure it's the right color for you. You know, like if your foundation is not matching your neck, like if it's close enough, you won't be able to tell a difference, but because of sunlight or whatever, we'll kind of blend that all out. But if it's a big difference, you know, then that's that's another thing.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

That's another thing that you'll be self-conscious about, and that will translate in your photos.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

Yeah, blend it. And then if you have, like in our instance, because we're in the northwest, like we'll we'll go through a season where the sun's out and we'll be very tan. And so we need a certain foundation for that.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

And then we'll go through seasons where there's no sun, which is like the rest of the year.

SPEAKER_04 23:37

It's true.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

And so we'll be a little bit more pale.

SPEAKER_04 23:40

Now, also, once you put in like the work to prep for like how you're gonna do your hair and face and and you do it, then I just say let it go. Don't worry about it from there. Don't fixate on it and be worried about it throughout the shoot. We've got you, like we will make sure if anything goes awry, you know, we'll yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

You're really good at when you're doing the shoot at actually like s noticing things, like if uh if a hair is out of place or something like that, or you know, you're you you're much better at that. I can't I rely on you heavily for that stuff.

SPEAKER_04 24:14

Sometimes it's nice to have a third set of eyes like on that. Like so if you have a uh family member or a bridesmaid or something that can watch for out of place things, that's helpful.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 24:24

Um, you know, and especially if it's people we don't know, we don't know what their hair is supposed to look like. So you know, or what they prefer it to look like.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Yeah. Yeah. What about stuff that's specific for kids? Okay, not a couple things.

SPEAKER_04 24:37

The number one thing that I edit out of photos is snot. Boogers. And I hate doing that. I mean, I obviously if it's cold or some something like that, like I don't I can do it. Um, but if or snacks. Like if your kid just had a snack, you know, just like wipe their face before we start.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

I can't come in and wipe their face. I'm a stranger most of the time. Right, right. You know, that's gonna freak them out. So just you know, and gently do it.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

I've seen a lot of they like scrub the face and then they're all red and they're mad and whatnot. So yeah, just you know, do the loving thing for each other, do burger checks, do anything in my teeth checks, yep, do you know. We still do that for each other. Do I have like something in my eye? You know, all of those things.

SPEAKER_03 25:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 25:30

Um, and then I'll do my best, but um honestly on our end of the camera, there's a fine line between making you more uncomfortable because we start picking out things that are wrong or like off, you know, and doing the thing where we're like, oh, we need to fix this, we need to fix this. Obviously, if it's something major, yeah, I'm gonna say something. If it's something that I know it can fix, and and you're so stressed out that if I come in and like do one more thing, it's gonna just shut it down, then I'm not gonna do it. So if you guys can do that for each other, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

It's very it's a team effort, right? Yep. Um you're always really good at noticing when when people have things in their pockets.

SPEAKER_04 26:14

Please take the things out of your pockets.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

So that is a note that you had specifically because it's a real thing, especially for guys, cell phones in the front pocket, that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

It's gotta come out.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 26:27

Um, and you know, there are times when we miss it because either the timeline's rushed or we're focused so much more on making you feel comfortable or kids are okay or something like that. That, you know, there are times when we miss that. So if it's just easier, it's easier for you to just start without anything in your pocket. Yep. If you need to have a bag that's like the catch-all that we just keep right next to us, yeah, bring it, do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Yeah, like an accessory catch-all. Yeah. Yep, that's good.

SPEAKER_04 26:54

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

And uh hair ties.

SPEAKER_04 26:56

Hair ties are my nemesis.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Every time. Yeah, you'll notice when when the gals will put the hair tie on their wrist and everything.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

And girls, let's be real, if you have long hair, a hair tie lives on your wrist. Yeah. You don't even realize it's there.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:10

Um, but yes, for shoot, it needs to come off.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Yep, exactly. Yes. Guys in sunglasses is another thing. Yep. Um, and I guess uh within that, sometimes we'll have uh folks with transition lenses.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

So sometimes like I'll ask, you know, or what if it's not like a super like formal and it's not that big of a deal, I'll I'll let them keep it on or whatever. And even with the sunglasses, like for weddings specifically, sometimes I'll do shoots with the guys and they all have their sunglasses on. That's kind of fun. But if you're the only one uh that's wearing sunglasses, yeah, like that's one of those moments that, yeah, let's take the sunglasses off and then either set them aside or put them somewhere. And and another thing with like accessories is sometimes people will just take off accessories and hold them in their hands.

SPEAKER_04 28:00

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Now let's set those to the side. Let's get them out of the photo completely so you can just be more natural and the grandmars are so cute, they always hold it behind their back. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

And it looks so like obvious that you're holding something behind your back. Like that's not normal. So just let us hold on to it or set it aside. It keeps it. It's okay, you'll have it right back.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

Um, but yes, the transition lenses is great because um, you know, most people who wear glasses all the time, they feel uncomfortable without them. Yep. So if you guys are doing like a formal portrait, then same thing. I'm gonna ask you, is that okay for you to have your glasses on, even though they're very transitioned? I cannot see your eyes.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:42

Um, and if you are good with that and you don't want to take them off, then that's totally fine. Most people will do one of each. Like let me do one without and one with so that I can see your eyes. Yep. Um, but sunglasses on top of the head are a big no-go for me.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

No, no.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

No problem.

SPEAKER_04 28:59

No, no. So yeah. So make sure you guys are just, you know, presenting well, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yep. Um then tags.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

Tags. So um sometimes new outfits are bought for shoots and ice tags are on. Remove those, or if you're planning on returning it, it's fine. Just let me know and I'll try and figure out how to hide it.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Yeah, it it has happened for sure.

SPEAKER_04 29:24

Um, but also wrinkles and clothing.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

Even new clothes with creases.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Yep, that kind of stuff. If the crease is in a weird place or whatever because they're new, that's something you want to make sure. And I mean, I guess technically we're supposed to run stuff through the wash after we get them, anyways. Yeah and everything.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

Get the poison off.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Yeah, I mean, I get it. I I rarely do that actually. Who does that? But if it's if it's something that I'm gonna wear for something formal or I know I'm gonna be wearing it for a photo shoot or whatever, just make sure that it's ironed out or you know, whatever, and get the get the creases and the wrinkles out.

SPEAKER_04 30:00

Yes. I mean, it's one thing to think, oh, they can just help me out and fix this later. Like, please. And that's I will say wrinkles in clothing is rough. Tough it is hard to get out sometimes. So it's it's a lot of extra time on the back end. So it's not anywhere near as long to iron it.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Yep. So that's yeah. I mean, that affects turnaround time, so that affects how soon or how much longer it'll take to get your photos back and everything. It all plays a part in it, guys. It all plays a part.

SPEAKER_04 30:32

Yep, yep. Now, it's not the end of the world, but yes, please it is helpful. Teamwork, right? Teamwork. Um, okay. Also, shoes.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

Shoes are a thing that most people just think about what would look best with my outfit. This is gonna be cute. But if you're wearing shoes that you cannot move in, that's very problematic for your shoot.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Yeah, some practicality has to come into play.

SPEAKER_04 30:58

Yeah, and think of your the terrain that you're gonna be on, you know, specifically for family shoots or weddings. I guess like if you're gonna be in grass, you know, you don't want stilettos. If you're gonna be climbing over rocks and whatnot, you don't want to be in heels. You want to be in something that you're not gonna slip or break your ankle or you know, so yeah. Yeah. Same with guys, you can have slippery shoes, you know. Make sure that you're wearing something that is appropriate, um, not only for your outfit, but for where you're gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Yep. That's good.

SPEAKER_04 31:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

I mean, I guess for groomsmen, sometimes they have to wear the shoes that come with the tucks or whatever, you know, kind of a thing. Sure. So sometimes we'll make a decision as the photographers to kind of put you in a place that's not gonna compromise what you're wearing, stuff. Absolutely. Brides specifically for like their dresses and stuff like that. We're not gonna walk you through mud. No, no.

SPEAKER_04 31:52

Um you can get those little um, there's like little plugs to put on heels.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Oh, yeah, yeah. I have seen those before. Yeah, so you're gonna be. Oh, for walking on grass, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:02

Yeah. Um, but yeah, I guess the shoes is more so for non-wedding things because for weddings you do have a more formal attire. So um, so beware of that. And we're more mindful of that when we're choosing locations. But um, but on a regular shoot, like if you want to be by the waterfall, you're gonna be climbing up and down rocks and whatnot, and trails and whatnot. You're not gonna please don't wear nice shoes, like like heels, you know.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

Or at least throw them in a bag, yes, and then you can switch into them once once you get to your spot.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

And I have people who do that, but also keep in mind that that takes time.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

So you're gonna spend a little bit of time adjusting, which is fine, you know, but you just you only have so much time.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Right. I suppose that's the difference in doing like an engagement shoot where you have a good amount of time to be able to walk into locations and get prepped and anything, opposed to like a mini session, like a 15 minute mini session.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Like you're not gonna have the time in your in your small window to be messing around with your outfit and stuff like that. Wardrobe change. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 33:11

Yeah, it takes you a whole shoot to change your wardrobe. Yeah, so just be mindful of that.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Yep. Um, now I I've always struggled with finding my style.

SPEAKER_04 33:22

Yeah, yes, yeah. Me too, though, actually.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Yeah, I think it I just as a guy and everything, and just my my own personal nature, I've always struggled at finding my style. And so I've noticed you have like resources um as one of your so of your notes.

SPEAKER_04 33:39

Especially when you're not doing just like a solo shoot, you know, seniors, you can wear something that you love. It doesn't matter what it matches with anybody else. But for families, couples, you know, weddings, but um people like one of the hardest parts of finding what to wear is finding something to wear that works for each person but yet goes together with everybody, you know. Yes. Yeah. And so that is a question a lot of people ask me what do we wear? How do we know what colors to wear? And um, I will just say that the internet is a wonderful place for this. Like I can give you my opinion, absolutely. And I have some people who will send me like screenshots or phone grabs of this is what I bought. Does this work? This one or this one? I'm happy to help with that. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, but you can also just go on the Google or Pinterest and be like family photo shoot inspiration, and it will pull up a bunch of like actual mood mood board or you know, inspo board type things, you know, um, to give you a visual. So um my kind of rule of thumb is choose a color palette, yeah, and lean into neutrals, but don't be afraid of color. So, like if you choose a color palette, you pick one neutral and one color, or maybe two neutrals and a color, and then um everybody's outfits fit within that. Yeah. So um patterns are fine if they're like a more muted pattern and you don't have a bunch of different ones and not everybody's using it. Accessories are great, but the idea is to complement each other, not to match perfectly.

SPEAKER_01 35:21

Yeah, and that's that's across the board. Like that's that's something I do for video shoots too, for like talking heads and stuff like that, like knowing what the background will be, what colors in the background, and then you you you go from that and then you find the complementary, you know, outfit colors for them, and then also something that's going to look good with their skin tones and stuff like that. And so it all plays a part, like it's all part of the aesthetic. Um, and so it just takes a little bit of effort to go out, yeah. Um, and and look into that and everything, and it's actually kind of fun once it's you once you see it all come together, like wow, that looks really good because I put in that little bit of effort.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

Yep. And it's not like it can be challenging, especially if you have a big family across all ages. But if you're sticking to more neutrals or like solid colors or some it or if it's a color palette, that means like there are several versions of that color, like several several shades, you know. Yeah, exactly. And then so it works. Um it then it again is kind of fun. But yes, definitely use the visuals online if you need like some help with that. Um and I don't recommend like perfect matching outfits because it just kind of comes off as a little corny, I think. Uh yeah, I mean they're each their own, but like unless it's intentional. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

It just a miss a missed opportunity, I think.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

Um to just really add visually.

SPEAKER_02 36:54

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 36:55

But yes. Um definitely like what you said about skin tone. Um for those of you who don't see the world through light like we do, um, colors affect light. So um imagine like the sunlight hitting something, what kind of colors bounce off of it?

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Yeah, like we live in a very green part of the world. Yeah. And so something that we constantly battle is green color cast from bright sunny days.

SPEAKER_04 37:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 37:24

So um, if you're wearing something, say a neon orange shirt, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

You're gonna be orange.

SPEAKER_04 37:30

In the sun. You're going to be orange.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

You're gonna be orange.

SPEAKER_04 37:32

There's no way around it.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

So consider that in choosing your colors. I usually say avoid neon colors. I personally love really rich tones. Yeah. Pastels can be nice too if you have some color on your face. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Yep. So, but yes, um, just think of that when you I think the only time I haven't encouraged like neon stuff is like we just did our awkward family photo shoot or like an 80s inspired kind of a thing. Like again, it's all intentional, right? And so if it's kind of an inspired shoot that's more fun like that, then oh man, yeah, press into that kind of stuff. Absolutely. But for the average photo shoot, you know, that kind of stuff, that's kind of more what we're referring to.

SPEAKER_04 38:16

Yeah. And don't be afraid of color, but just be intentional with it, like you said.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 38:21

Um, yeah. So I think that overall, those are my suggestions. That's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

That's great practical stuff.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

Yes. Yeah. It takes some prep work, yeah, some planning and intentionality, but it really helps you feel better when it comes to the day.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

Yeah, but I I know at the beginning we mentioned this is actually a little bit deeper than I think people um give it give credit to um because uh there's kind of a a deeper, deeper level to this whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 38:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

Um and so um you have let's get to the heart of the matter on our notes.

SPEAKER_04 39:01

I did write that. Let's get to the heart. Um, yeah, so which is the mindset. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:11

The mindset that it's easy to have versus the one that we want to have.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:17

Okay. So like it's easy to get caught up in the how am I gonna look? In the I wanna send this out, I want it to look nice, you know. Yeah, I want it on my socials, I want it in my Christmas cards, I want it, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 39:30

How is everybody gonna view me? Right. And make it about that.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

Because that's what, you know, yeah is presented out there.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:39

And I don't even think it's presented completely intentionally, it's just like the human nature, right? Like we start to get insecure about things. Yep. Um, so that's that's a mindset that we struggle with. The one that we want to have is a total perspective shift of what is the whole point of doing this to begin with? It's the why behind it. Who is this for? Yeah. Is this for strangers on the internet?

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Nope.

SPEAKER_04 40:09

Is it for your kids in the future? Yep. Your grandkids, your legacy, yeah. Is it for your own self to remember every part of you know your journey, right? Amen. No matter what it looked like. Because let's be real, life is not perfect.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

No, ever. Nope.

SPEAKER_04 40:31

And there's highs and lows, and there's beautiful things in all of it. And they're worth remembering.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

I think that's why life is so beautiful. Yeah. There's so many ups and downs, so many opportunities for memories.

SPEAKER_04 40:42

So if we can somehow, and it takes work, um, shift our perspective from how is everybody gonna respond to this? Yeah, to viewing this as no, this is a gift.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:56

You know, this is something to cherish.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Yeah. And then when you share things from that perspective, yeah, it's the the the way people perceive it and view it doesn't matter as much anymore. And now you can enjoy it more. I think personally, I think it's true.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

It's true. Um, so this definitely applies all across the board, but I figured we could kind of dive into both weddings and family photos on things we've noticed to where this perspective would be helpful.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:27

Um, you know. So yeah, let's start with weddings.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 41:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

Weddings.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

So, first of all, what would be the whole point of documenting a wedding? Pop quiz.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

For me, yeah, it's remembering a very unique and uh particular moment where you get most of the important people in your life together for one single event. Like that's pretty rare. Um, and so I'm like, I want to remember this like in all the moments in it and everything. That's what it is for me. That's yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:10

I mean, while you're alive on this planet, yeah, it is the only time that your friends and family from now both sides of your family, right? Your wife's side, your own side are all in one place. Yep, exactly. Like the only other time could be a memorial where you're not there.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Yeah, you know, like so, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:29

Um it there's a lot of weight in there. It's significant, like our name says a day of great significance. Yep, yeah. So the whole reason for documentation is to like hold on to that. Yep, exactly. Because memories do fade away, right? They do. Um, so it's not for Instagram, it's not because it's a have to. No. It's a it's a gift for future.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

It's a gift that keeps on giving.

SPEAKER_04 42:56

Yeah, it truly does. Um, so yeah, that was a totally on the spot pop quiz. But um, I think that it's important to remember not only for the couple and their family and wedding party, but also for the guests.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:12

Like this is this is important.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:16

And if you've been invited to the wedding or asked to be a part of the wedding, you are important to them. Yeah. You know, and so that's kind of a big deal. And it's it's good to uh how do I say it? It's it's good to honor that by being a good guest, good yes, member of the wedding party, yes, good family member. Be good and supportive of not only them and their vision, but their documentation. So yeah. Um one um one thing I noticed for weddings is a lot of people always Say candid are my favorite. Like, I love candid moments. I want that to be a big part of the gallery or a big focus in the video. And I would just like to remind people like that if you want candid stuff captured, you have to be candid. Yeah. Like, yeah, you can't just stand there. Yeah. You can't just like ask every two seconds, what do I do now? Yeah. You know, like just forget about the formalities and enjoy your moment, your people, all of that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 44:32

Um candid is un uh is unprompted but and natural.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

And natural. That's what chat said. Yeah. Um so it's funny because we try to blend into the background on wedding days. We you know, we are one of those who wear all black, so they kind of like subliminally like ignore us at some point, you know.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 44:55

Obviously, we'll step in when we need to, but like the goal is to not be focused on. Yeah. And um yet again, it's easier said than done because we have gear. We don't have like a ton of over like large gear or something, but you know, a guest will see a camera and they'll kind of get a little squirmy.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

Yep. Yeah. So many times I've tried my very best to be hidden and I'm trying to capture these quote unquote candid events, you know, people just hanging out and having a good time, smiling. And then all of a sudden the person will kind of catch me out of the corner of their eye. And then it's like it's over at that point. It's over. And then they even say to the person they're talking to, the camera's on us right now, and then they get super awkward and everything. I'm like, ah. So that's why I try to hide as much as possible.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

Yeah. If you can, don't do that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:47

You know, well, and I I try at the very beginning of the day to introduce myself to as many people as possible, let them know, hey, I try to be a fly at fly on the wall kind of practice, you know, and everything. So if you see me pointing the camera in your direction, just ignore me. Go about your business, keep having a great time, keep enjoying the day. Just trying to capture the the day as it's happening.

SPEAKER_04 46:09

So and there are some people who are not uncomfortable. Like we said, there's some who aren't that way on camera and they like to interact with the camera, which is also great.

SPEAKER_02 46:21

I love that.

SPEAKER_04 46:22

Um, especially if that's your personality. The couple knows that's your personality. And so, like, feel free to do that kind of stuff, you know, as long as it's an appropriate time for it.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

Um, but yeah, I think that it if you're attending a wedding, just kind of again remembering the why.

SPEAKER_02 46:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 46:41

And and you can hopefully just learn to ignore us.

unknown 46:46

Yeah, hopefully.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

Unless we ask you to do something like look here or do this or whatever. Um, so yes, in order to have candid moments, you have to be candid. And I would say that applies to the couple as well. Like you can't you have to be able to let go.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 47:00

Just let it let it be, let it happen. Like, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

So um it's actually kind of fun once you once you figure that out. Yeah, because then you can just literally there's no pressure at that point. Like there is no pressure.

SPEAKER_04 47:16

For sure. Yeah, for sure. Um and again, that's that perspective shift. So like if you kind of are even preparing before the day, like this is how it's gonna be. Like if you're nervous about it, just constantly remind yourself like, yeah, this is why I have cameras there. Yeah. It's not to put on a production, it's to for them to observe what we are doing.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

Exactly. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 47:38

Now I want to um speak to the wedding party or guests. I guess it can be family too.

SPEAKER_02 47:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:46

So everybody else besides a couple.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_04 47:49

Um, so I mentioned that you had been you it's a privilege to be invited into this space, right? So it's it's an honor.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

It is an honor.

SPEAKER_04 47:58

Um, don't act like you don't want to be there.

SPEAKER_01 48:01

Yeah, come on, people. I mean, right?

SPEAKER_04 48:05

Don't be a scrooge. Um, yeah. So I think it's easy for I mean, things happen and things can be stressful on wedding days, but uh again, remember the why. Yep. Um so this couple has gone through months and months of planning this day. They are planning your experience of the day as well. Guest experience is now a huge thing in wedding planning. Um they're thinking of you.

SPEAKER_02 48:32

Yeah, you know? Yeah, they care about you.

SPEAKER_04 48:34

So be respectful. Yeah. Participate when they have things happening that you should participate in, you know. Um, yeah. Don't just be a bump on a log and a scrooch.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

Right. I think there's a perspective shift within that too, because I think the winning industry has kind of gotten a bad rap for being like, you know, extravagant, you know, and and that kind of stuff, which I I kind of understand that.

SPEAKER_04 48:59

I get it.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

But if we have a perspective shift that this is a big celebration, yeah, like historically we've thrown big celebrations for for important milestones, you know, stuff like that. Like, this is not a new thing.

SPEAKER_04 49:14

No.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

And so if we switch our perspective to, oh, I have to be there for this, and this is, you know, what a big show this is, or whatever, you know, kind of a thing, and we switch it to, man, I get to be a part of this awesome day for these guys. And they've really gone all out with everything. And keep in mind the the guest experience that they've tried their very best to create for you, yeah, and your family, and whoever's there with you, and everything, like perspective is everything. It can it can make or break your experience with everything. And so I think that's important to remember and think about.

SPEAKER_04 49:51

Absolutely. Um, and I will take that one step further for those who are in photos. If there is a photo prompt or something, especially wedding party, and um, these are not just ideas to make you look stupid. Like that's not what this is. Like oftentimes prompting is something to get a reaction. Yeah, it's not the prompt itself that is necessarily a the photo moment.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:16

Um, but sometimes they're kind of out of the box or might make somebody who's a little more reserved feel silly. Yep. Um who cares? It's not about you. So, like, no offense, but you were invited into this space. Yep. This is their moment, this is what they've decided on. Yeah. And if you are the only one in the group who is not participating, yeah, you're gonna stand out like a sore thumb.

SPEAKER_01 50:46

Yeah, yeah. Be a good sport, yeah. It just brings the whole thing down.

SPEAKER_04 50:50

So yeah, and if you have that perspective shift, you can make it fun. You can just have fun with it, you know, and you can giggle your way through the whole thing. I don't care, but participate, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

Yeah, don't be a Scrooge.

SPEAKER_04 51:01

Don't be a Scrooge. Okay. For guests, um, I this is probably gonna be a much longer version of this episode, I'm realizing, because I keep having more things. No, so for guests, um same thing with your Scrooge faces or RBFs or whatever. Um, you guys are in the shots.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:26

You're not just like in the background, you are in the shots. So especially in the ceremony, um, like if you're on the inside aisles or the front row, you're gonna be seen. Yeah. So there's nothing worse than having this beautiful moment of you know, bride walking down and somebody's in the background or right next to him, really. Yeah, just with the most awful scowl.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

Just being a grump.

SPEAKER_04 51:52

Yep, just ruins it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

So if you're gonna sit on the inside side aisle, especially, like I have done an announcement before you have like at the beginning, when I've kind of noticed, and this is from experience, right? This is like I haven't said something before and then I've regretted it later because it's like, oh my gosh, like, come on, people. Absolutely. And so I'll do like a fun thing, like, hey, you guys are gonna be in all the shots, put on your smiling faces and everything. This is the best day ever. Woo! You know, kind of a thing. Just the hype guy, you know, and everything. And it's usually it usually translates pretty well with everybody and they start to smile and stuff, and they do that. It it's it flips a switch in their minds, you know, after they realize, like, oh, you're right, like I am gonna be in the shot in the shots and everything.

SPEAKER_04 52:38

Well, people don't think about that for sure. No, no, but it's true, yeah, it's true, and it ruins it real fast.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

Yeah, so I think I've started mentioning things more often than not, you know, when I can remember. That's great.

SPEAKER_04 52:49

Yeah, I actually remember that one of those weddings, and it was a really cool idea. The couple had requested all the guests to wear black, yep, like all black, which is cool because it's like a uniform, but so many people looked so grumpy that it looked like a funeral.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

I think sunglasses too. Like they're wearing sunglasses and everything. It literally looked like a funeral.

SPEAKER_04 53:11

And it was like, oh no, this is gonna be like a day of mourning video. Like, that's not what this is.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

Like, so oh man, I could have had so much fun with that if you had it.

SPEAKER_04 53:22

You could have. Oh my god. So yes, if you are one who does not, you know, want to have to worry about your facial expressions, just sit not on the middle of it.

SPEAKER_01 53:33

If you want to hide, then hide.

SPEAKER_04 53:35

Hide, yes, yes. And another thing is don't wear something super bright or loud and sit right there either, because you will also stand out.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 53:45

And I cannot like stress that enough. That's really difficult.

SPEAKER_01 53:50

And uh perhaps if we can speak to like the couples or anybody who's gonna be helping them like throughout the day or whatever. If if you can instruct them, if they do see somebody who d decides to attend and wears something like that, maybe they can be on alert and be like, hey, what a great outfit. Can you sit over here? It's a little loud, like if you can be the bad guy because you actually know these people.

SPEAKER_04 54:17

That is a perfect bridesmaid job. Yeah, or for sure. Like just kind of be aware of that.

SPEAKER_01 54:23

Yeah, because I I mean, we we will say something if we need to, but I hate it. Yeah, I hate having to say stuff like that because I don't know these people, and then they obviously will think, you know, whatever of us, which I don't really care exactly, but yeah, but it is awkward.

SPEAKER_04 54:38

We don't know the dynamics, and so we don't want to like we don't yeah, we don't want to encourage drama, but like or cause drama, but I hate being the bad there are that is specifically like the job of the wedding party to look out for those things, right? So that's great. Yeah, um, I did see a a cool idea where um a couple had their wedding party sit in those seats on the inside of the aisle instead of standing up with them, which was cool because they could not only see the wedding rather than trying to stand in a line staring at the back of each other's head.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

Just trying to peeker at each other. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:15

But then the whole aisle shot was people in their, you know, their colors, it was their best friends.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

I love that.

SPEAKER_04 55:22

They were truly excited, you know, like same with the um the recessional, like after the kiss and they're walking down. That's the best time to be like cheering, happy faces.

SPEAKER_02 55:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 55:35

I cannot even tell you how many times that shot of like the couple doing a dip in the aisle and somebody's turning around with this their phones in their hand, they're scowling, yep, or whatever. I think we've even had do you know what I'm gonna say? We've had somebody cut in front of the couple before because they could not get out of there fast enough.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 55:54

Like, what is even happening? Yep, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:58

Yep. Awareness, people. Awareness. Yes, but but even like to your point, when when the couple wants to do a dip at the end during the recession, what walking out and everything, do a just really epic. The whole point of it is they want to have all of their guests in the background.

SPEAKER_04 56:17

They want you in the shop.

SPEAKER_01 56:18

Yeah, and so I think something that we can probably get better at too is, and I've tried to do this with like officiants or whatever, like make an announcement.

SPEAKER_04 56:28

Yeah, like let them know.

SPEAKER_01 56:30

Make an announcement that, hey, at the end of the ceremony, the couple is gonna be walking down to the end of the aisle, they're gonna do this epic dip kiss. We need you guys to stand and just erupt in applause and joy and everything for them because that's gonna be such a great memory. The whole point is because they want you there, they want you to be a part of it, they want you to be in the photo and everything. Like, take that chance, take that opportunity to like show your joy and excitement for the couple, right?

SPEAKER_04 56:59

It's an act of love, yes, exactly. Um, it's sad that that has to even be announced. Like, I wish our culture could come to that point.

SPEAKER_01 57:07

But I think we have become a culture of um spectators, yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:13

But if you're invited, you are invited to participate.

SPEAKER_01 57:16

Participate.

SPEAKER_04 57:17

So, yes, I love that idea. I think it's worth the announcement. Yep, I agree. Yeah, because that is a so to all of our couples, to all of our couples this year. Yeah, please do that.

SPEAKER_01 57:30

We're gonna we're gonna make a note right after we finish recording this that we're gonna we're gonna talk to whoever we need to to make an announcement to everybody.

SPEAKER_04 57:38

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 57:39

Yeah, it's gonna just be better all around.

SPEAKER_04 57:42

Okay. Oh man, I love that idea. Yeah. Okay, so um, I would say one other thing um in this don't be a scrooge area, and this is for couples. Um now listen, full disclaimer, I get that some people are super shy and hate being in the center of attention. Yeah, um that is a whole other part of this, you know, yeah mindset that we, you know, have a hard time with the whole thing. But once again, these photos and videos are for your memory sake. Like so whatever you commit to doing on the day is going to translate. So when you look back at those photos, you are gonna either see, oh my gosh, I was so uncomfortable, I hated being on camera, or you're gonna see, This is the moment I saw my bride for the first time. I can't believe she's gonna marry me. You know, like so you have that power. Yep, but you just have to figure out how to get outside of your head, right? Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:56

I I think if I could speak to the grooms for just a moment. Um and Michael and I have been married now 21 years this year. Um, and there's a lot of life that that comes with that. There's a lot of memories, and so we we did a vow renewal at 15 years and everything, and so we decided to to have people out and go to the beach and everything and make it a fun thing and and everything. But the moment that I turned around and saw you in your in your dress, like I just I couldn't hold back tears. There was so much emotion that flooded me. And if I could go back and talk to my younger self on our wedding day, I mean I did enjoy our wedding day, but it was it was a little chaotic. I mean, we told the whole story and everything. But if I could go back and talk to my younger self and now talk to the young grooms that are getting married that are gonna be newlyweds and everything, that is a moment that you do not want to miss. Like this is not in that moment, it's not about anything else except seeing your bride. And if you could put yourself in your future self's shoes for just for a moment, yeah, like it is it is the best moment in everything. If you allow yourself to feel in that moment, if you allow yourself to just get a little glimpse into the future that you guys are gonna have, it's gonna change everything. Again, again, it's that perspective shift. Like if you can if you can be in that moment, you know, and just really enjoy it and see your bride, like truly see her. Like that's a epic moment. I don't, I do not want you guys to miss that. Like, don't miss it.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:41

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

Don't be distracted, don't be caught up in other things. Like if there's things that have happened during the day or there's things that you're still thinking about they're gonna happen later, yeah, get rid of it. Like the to the best of your ability. Just forget it and be in that moment. Do not miss that moment. It's it's a very special moment.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:00

I think that goes both ways. Yeah. I mean, just think for a second of like you were at this moment to start with. Like that is wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:12

Yeah, it's part of the journey.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:13

You're like you've made it to this moment that you know that's a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:19

So yeah, again, it's a mindset. And I those are good words, babe. Thanks. Good words.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:24

Sometimes it works.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:27

Um, but yeah, so if you can just commit to being present, you know, and being in those moments, that's gonna help a whole lot. Forget that you're even on camera.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:37

Yeah, amen.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:38

Um, yeah. The other thing that I have written down is, and this is um probably the last thing for weddings, is um just to trust that your team has got you. Like as far as we are prepared, you know. We we are used to dealing with this not only scenario, these wedding days in general. Yeah, we've had every every curveball thrown our way. Yeah, you know, like we're ready to handle that so you don't have to. Yep. Um, we're ready to present you in in the best way we can, you know. Yep. And part of that goes back to one of our earlier episodes about commun communication. If you've already communicated with us what you're nervous about, yeah, or um what you're insecure about, then we know how to handle that. Yeah. So we're gonna keep that in mind and we're gonna guide you through what we have to.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:37

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:38

Um, but also we're just gonna get we're gonna take care of stuff you don't even know we take care of.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:45

Yeah, we're in your corner, guys. Like you're not just client, you're not just numbers to us, you're not just clients. Like this is a big like when we when we say this is an honor, we're serious. Yeah, absolutely. This is this is why we do what we do. We realize that what an honor this is to be able to do that. And so, yes, when you're open with us about things that you're insecure about, all that kind of stuff, like we're in your corner.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:08

Like we're we're we're we're there for you guys.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:11

And so communicating well and then just trusting that on the day of we've got you, you don't have to worry about anything like that at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:20

Um, that should help you keep the mindset of why you're here and not have to worry about logistics. Yeah. Um and relax. Yeah. And same with like the poses and prompting and stuff, like you again, you may feel silly. Like that's intentionally something I will do.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:38

Um, and there's a reason behind that, and that's to break you out of that camera paranoia and get your mind focused on something else. We have lots of tools in our two box toolbox. Wow. Yeah. There's that caffeine again. Um, so yeah, it's a trust thing, um, but it's also a partnership because we can only do go so far, um, you have to give to you have to participate in your own day, right? Like so yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

Exactly. That's good. That's great.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:13

Oh, this makes me so excited for weddings.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:16

I know. I know. In the sun is out right now, too. It's beautiful. Wanna get out and shoot. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:22

Yeah, I think is there anything video specific that you can uh speak to? And most of it's like kind of broad stroke. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:32

I mean, I think we spoke to it as far as weddings and stuff like that. Is and it all translates, I think, across the board is just um, you know, I do my best to make sure that you know my process of trying to be a fly on the wall. I'm trying to capture the day as candidly as possible. And the only time I'll ever step in is like the same time we're doing, you know, posed photos and stuff like that, or or wedding party stuff, you know, when I try to prompt something fun, you know, that's but all my stuff is better for with motion. And so I yeah, I try we try to prompt motion and movement and interaction and stuff like that. That all translates way better than me just moving around you when you're holding a pose, kind of a thing. Yeah, you know. So so I think that's that's more of along the lines of video and everything.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:19

Don't you don't have to freeze in a place.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:21

No, don't freeze in a place, just you know, continue with what you're doing, just have a great time. Um, if you can, ignore me. You know, I try to be invisible, but I understand, you know, it's not every day you see a guy with a camera on a gimbal or something like that moving around you.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:38

Yeah. Um and so I can't ignore you.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:44

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:45

But that's because I love you.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:47

Well, I love you too, sweetheart.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:48

Oh, yeah. That is great, such good um insight, though, because I I it never fails. I crack up every time um when people see you with a Camera and they are posing for a picture and they stop and they're like, Can you take a picture of us?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

Yep. And I'm like, I I I totally understand. I understand less when I have it on my gimbal. Yes or when I have it all rigged out with a mic and a monitor and everything. Um, but I do understand when I'm just holding it, it looks like a just a photo camera.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:20

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:21

I mean, cameras these days can do both very well. And so I I do get it. So I try to be understanding um to the best of my ability.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:30

But it's so funny when it happens. I love it. Yep. Um, that is one other thing that will communicate as best as we can at the start of the day or throughout the day. Like, hey, that we're your your crew, like this person and this person are doing photos. Usually it's the girls are doing photos, the guys are doing video. So, like, just so you know, like you don't have to stop moving. And honestly, that works for photos too, most of the time. Like, you don't have to freeze and hold it for 10 seconds for a picture anymore. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:57

Like, yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:58

That's I got you. I'm used to chasing little kids around. Like, it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:02

Um, the only time I I would say to hold more than a half of a second is a kiss.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:10

Especially the kiss.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:12

Three seconds, then release, guys.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:14

Please. Please. It's really hard to edit two faces into a kiss if you miss it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:21

It's not a it's it's not a a peck on the cheek with your with your friend or whatever. Right. And it's not a make out session.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:29

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:31

It's funny. I mean it's so funny. Because most of the couples that I've said that to just laugh. It's true. Three seconds and then release. Three seconds. One, two, three. At least at least three, maybe three to five. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. Nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:49

It depends on if there's a dip involved or yeah. Yeah. Anyways, you get the idea. Yeah. But yeah, that's that is wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:57

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:58

Um, okay. We are into this quite a while, but I want to. This is great. Is it? Yeah. Are we with it? I'm like paranoid we're gonna be a super long. No, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:08

I think, and I wanted to speak to that too, because I know we had said initially like 30 to 45 minutes or whatever, but that's just not reality for most podcasts. So it's true. Now I'm saying like we'll probably be hour to hour and a half uh for most of our podcasts, which is fine. Because again, it's something you can put on in the background and you don't have to pay super close attention to everything we're saying. Like we're just thankful for that you're listening at all.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:34

And so, anyways, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:35

So you can pause and come back later.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:37

Yeah, yeah, it's all good. Yeah, it's all good.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:40

Um, okay, so I wanted to move on to family photos, portrait sessions, but like we're mostly gonna lean into family photos because that is typically the most challenging, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:54

Um, I I have gone through a season. I'm as I get older, this is not as true anymore, but I went through a season where I hated doing family sessions. Like I loved the people I was doing them for.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:07

And that was what kept me doing them. Yeah, but it wasn't like as fun. Yeah, you know, but more as I get older and as of the last couple of years, it's been become more enjoyable because my perspective has shifted.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:21

Hey, there you go. Perspective shift.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:22

Good job, babe. Thank you. Yes, I'm aware of the importance of them and I just have like a different outlook on it. But um the reason why I hated them back in the day was that nobody ever wanted to be there except for mom.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:37

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:38

It was very apparent. Yeah. I'm like, I just know they screamed at each other the whole way here because they're like not acting like they love each other at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:48

Um, so yeah, mom's dragging dad, their kids are, you know, they last all of five minutes before they start to melt down. Yeah. Mom's so hyper fixated on if her kids are smiling, the right smile that she looks so stressed out.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:04

Yeah, you know, and it's like that it's that classic family like stereotype, yeah, like photo shoot stereotype kind of thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:11

Yeah. And that's a real thing. The struggle is real. We've been on the other end of that as well. You know, so like this is not a judgy podcast. This is like live experience, you guys. We have been there.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:25

I have, you know, done the whole snip at my kids.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:28

Like, I say often, I know nothing. Everything that I know is through experience. Like, it's not because I'm like diving into books or you know, all that kind of stuff. Like, I everything I know is really from from experience.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:41

So yeah. Yeah, this is um just what we're learning. So yeah. Um, we get it. It can be stressful, especially if you have young kids who are you know hard to wrangle, or if you have teenagers who have it big feelings.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:58

Big feelings.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:00

Um, it's hard. All all of the stages have their difficulties.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:05

Um 100%.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:07

But it goes so fast, those stages go so fast, and it's like they all have their wins too that are worth remembering, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:18

So um that's right.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:20

So yeah, we have once again a bunch of different tricks and tools that we can use to help um with some of that stress and with some of the nerves and jitters and the pressure that we put on ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:36

Um, but it will circle back to perspective being the biggest thing. Um what I let me look at my notes. Um, so some of the more practical stuff, besides what we talked about in the beginning, which is putting in the work, the preparation beforehand, right? That applies across the board. That applies to this too. Um, some of the more practical stuff is um just making a photo shoot an experience for your family. So whether you're like make a day of it, or you incorporate something that you guys love to do together or meet is meaningful to your family, um, just something to give it more meaning and memory.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:27

Um, that alone takes the pressure off of just physical appearance and interaction.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:34

Yeah. Like the shoot doesn't have to be the primary thing of the day, even like it can be a piece of a full day experience.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:41

Family day. Yeah. I love you guys. Let's let's um put this in, you know, like in documents and photos so that we can remember it forever, this moment, you know, just making it an experience and you guys know each other way better than we know you. So like it looks different for everybody, but um finding the things that you guys like to do together that you can bring it into it. Even as simple as, okay, one of my favorite families, they bring a football to every photo shoot we do.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:14

That's great.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:15

They've done it since their kids were babies. Oh, I love that. And the babies like held the football. Oh my god. And now they're 11. No. I guess he's almost 13. 12 and 11, I think, are the kids' ages. Wow. And we still have a football every time. And it's like a not only is a recreation, so you can see the progression, yeah, but it gives them something to do. They'll throw a football around, or it's it's almost a comfort blanket too. Yeah, for sure. You know, so they love to play football at home, they just bring it, and it's not in every photo, but it's a part of what we do.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:50

So it can be simple like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:53

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:54

That's good. Make it your own and make it meaningful.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:57

Yep. Good. An experience. An experience.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:00

Yeah. Um I mean, you could go as far as to theme it and plan some sort something more extravagant if you wanted to. We've done we've done fake picnics before.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:11

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:12

That was fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:13

It was fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:14

Um, I'll have to have her come tell that story sometime. That was amazing. Um, but like some other things that I think are cool that I'd I'd love to do is like doing a a family shoot at the fair or the zoo or something like that, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So that alone takes again the focus off of just being on camera and makes it a perspective shift. Yeah. Um, yeah. So that that keyed up or tied to the practical stuff from the beginning, yeah, is what I would say. Just really make sure you give yourself enough time and enough preparation so that you're not stressing on it. Yeah. That's good. Let's dive into the heart of the matter again. Yeah. Um, so it's the same. It's the why are you taking photos? And if it's like, oh, it's for my Christmas card, no, but why?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:11

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:12

What's the whole reason you want to share a Christmas card to begin with? Is because you are blessed with this beautiful family that you have.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:20

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:20

Right? So, like, if we can kind of train our minds to be even if you do this every year, a year is a while. A lot's happened in that year.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:31

I mean, even with that though, like traditions are fun. Like, I love traditions. Oh my gosh, I we're big on traditions, we're a very traditional family.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:40

But still, like you can appreciate even the most minute wins that your spouse has had that year or your kids have had that year, and you can celebrate it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:53

And that's good.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:54

And what that's gonna do is just not only make it more meaningful, but it builds them up, right? Yeah. And it it gives more um what's the word?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:07

Well, I think when you tie it to something like that, it creates it makes it more memorable, like um, you know, altogether. Like it's not just a photo shoot. Like if you tie it to something that was significant, then it makes it more memorable overall. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:22

It's it's celebratory. Yeah, exactly. Um, you know, and I know that I'm not gonna be naive enough to think that every year is great for people and they're not having real hard issues, even while they're doing this. For sure. Because that's very common. Like people are walking through really hard stuff, yeah. But you can always find a win. Yeah, you know, it's good to remember that. So and then it how powerful is it to give the win the attention and the elevation, right? That's great. So and and when you look back on those photos, yeah, that's what you're gonna see.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:59

Yep. So you're gonna say, I made it. I made it. We decided to change our perspective. Yeah, yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:06

So even and for your kids too, when they're younger and they don't want to do it, they want to play on the playground instead. You know, like if you can start speaking this into them that this is not because mom wants it, everybody's doing it, you're gonna do it, you're gonna like it. Yeah, or else, you know, like if you can start speaking into this is super special for all of us.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:29

I'm super proud of you for working hard in your class this year, or you know, overcoming this fear, and we want to celebrate that.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:38

Um, or even just I love you. I love this about you, I love this about you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:44

And that is not just the job of the moms. I want to speak to the dads for a second here because this is a partnership. So, dads, listen, like we have a very important responsibility and a very important role that we play in our kids' lives and it and that we play in our whole family's lives. Like we are, it is very important what we think and how we feel and how we interact and and respond to certain things. Like it's pinnacle to not just our kids, but our wife and the whole experience. Like, we have such a responsibility to create an atmosphere. Um, and we can create it for better or for worse. And that's that's that's the role that we play in our families. And so to the dads, um, myself included, we need to be aware and we need to um, we need to just do better. Like we need to do better, a better job of partnering with our spouses, of of leading and guiding our kids, of creating a culture of celebration, of perseverance, of love, of joy, and all those things. And it's not just in the words that we say, it's in how we carry ourselves, it's in our body language, it's in our facial expressions, it's in our tone of voice, it's all it's all the things like we have a very important role to play and we can do it. Like you can do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:11

You can do it. Oh, I love that. I love that. And um, I think that the partnership is really important there. But I also think that for those who maybe are not married, you know, dads, yep, still do photos with your kids.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:27

Yeah, absolutely. Like, yeah, yeah. You can shift, you can shift perspective. Yeah, like you can help a perspective shift in your kids.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:37

They will look back later when they're adults and they're grown. Yeah, and they look back and cherish those photos, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:45

I think back, man, my dad was strong. Like despite, despite like you said, if you're having a hard year or there's been a hard year and things have happened or whatever, they'll look back and they'll be able to see a photo and be like, man, my dad was strong. Like, I'm really thankful that my dad was strong. You know, and hopefully you have people in your corner too, dads, um, that you can lean on and everything too. But we do have a really, really important role and the ability, it's a gift, you know, to be able to shift perspective, help shift perspective in our families and and be that rock, be that foundation.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:20

Yeah, I think that's great. I think it just it it's uh such an act of love.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:25

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:26

It's obviously very uncomfortable for a lot of people in general, but men uh tend to be even more so. So um it's it's an act of love that your kids will someday really recognize. They will. And it it sets a precedence, it teaches them to you know legacy, yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:48

Pass it down to their kids.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:50

And speaking to moms, like same thing. Um not only in in just speaking into your kids and your spouse and partnering, but um, I know that we struggle with a lot of insecurities and there's a lot of like body image stuff and just like overall from all directions for women. But and it's really easy to be like, no, just do photos of my kids.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:14

Right. Um You want to remove yourself, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:17

Yeah, but don't do that. Don't don't at least sometimes get in front of the camera.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:23

Yeah, your kids want that.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:25

They want that. Yeah, because that's what it's all about. Yeah, is it's what remains when you know we're no no longer on this earth. We have photos to keep the memories alive.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:38

So there's a huge difference looking back on photos of just me as a little kid opposed to me with my parents or with my grandparents, or you know, with my family. Like it's fun to look back on photos of me as a little kid. That's that's fine. Yeah, it's completely different when I get to see my family in those photos. Yeah, like a bring it just floods me with memories and everything. And that's the and I'm at no point am I thinking of how we look in the photo.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:06

You know, I'm thinking of the memories and and all that kind of stuff. And so it's really important. Again, perspective. Yep. Um, and uh yeah, your kids are gonna want those, they're gonna want to remember you.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:21

It's a it's it's something really special. It's a it is a gift that you leave and give. And have it's a gift for yourself as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:30

For sure. Yeah. Um I love that we get to do it, and then I love that we get to do it together. So it's what a what a beautiful life.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:40

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:45

It's so special, but helping other families create memories and stuff like that. Like that's so cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:50

Yes, I agree. Yeah, and you know what? It's not gonna look perfect. No, probably not ever. Yeah, it's fine. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:00

Yeah, life is not perfect, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:03

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:04

Yeah. Great job. Wow. Look at you, you you did it.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:08

You did it.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:09

Like the notes really worked. What really worked, really glowing.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:14

I mean, we could keep going on like the same because obviously we care about it. We could just keep saying the same thing over and over. But I uh yeah, I'm glad to hopefully that will help somebody.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:26

I think so. I think so. I and I think uh if we continue to be intentional, you know, and be aware of our perspective and everything, I think that that plays uh a big role in our our lives as a whole. Yeah, I think that's really important for just life in general. So yes, but it's good. It is good. Okay, okay, we did it. We made it to the end. What a great episode. Welcome back. I'm glad you're back. Thanks. Till next time. Till next time. Are you gonna do another poll for the next episode?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:05

I might. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:06

That's kind of fun. I like to see. We'll see if we sprinkle in like another nerd day or something like that or whatever. But I mean, whatever we end up doing, it's gonna be super fun. It'll be great. Yeah, I love you. I love you, and we love you guys. Thanks for listening. Until next time. Bye. Bye.