Father Knows Best—Episode 31: Holy Communion for People in Senior Care Facilities; Popes Speaking Out About War; Status of People Seeking an Annulment; and Marriage Preparation.

Wednesday August 12, 9:00 pm on Siouxland Catholic Radio 88.1 FM 

Episode #31 of Father Knows Best sponsored by St. Augustine Indian Mission in Winnebago, NE features Father Mark Stoll addressing questions about Holy Communion for people in senior care facilities; popes speaking out about war; status of people seeking an annulment; and marriage preparation. 

Tune in tonight so we may discover, learn, and engage our hearts, souls and minds so we may be illuminated, informed and inspired. Please send your questions to fatherknowsbestshow@yahoo.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I have questions. I don't understand. I'm confused. What's going on? This is not what I learned in school. What does the church really teach? Welcome to Father Knowles Bush, the studios of 8821 FM, KFA C Pankasu City, and K-O-I-A Storm Lake. Brought to you by the St. Augustine Indian Mission, Winnebago. We all have questions and the curiosity about manners of faith as it is normal for humanity to ask questions and seek answers in the timeless quest for understanding regarding manners of faith in the church. We believe that there is no such thing as a foolish or dumb question. The opportunity to learn and to connect. And I say the only dumb question is the one that is not asked. And the reality is that the questions you have are like questions others have, and so it is good to ask. Sometimes an answer leads to more questions. Sometimes the questions and answers will lead us to insights we never considered. We at Soulan Catholic Radio want to invite our listeners from Jackson, Nebraska to Elk Point, South Dakota, to Stronwick, Iowa, and everywhere in between and beyond, send your questions to us at Father Knows Best Show at Yahoo.com. Or mail them to Father Knows Best, Sioux Lan Catholic Radio, 701 West Fifth Street, Sioux City, Iowa, 51103. During this time, once a week, I or another guest will do our best to answer some of the questions I received here at the studio so we may discover, learn, and engage our hearts and souls and minds so we may be illuminated, informed, and inspired. So I thank you for tuning in. We invite you to open your mind, let the questions begin, and let your curiosity find its voice. And so, Tim, are you ready again for this evening for another round of questions?

SPEAKER_01 1:48

I hope that the listeners truly do realize how blessed they are to hear the answers that you give every week, because I have learned so much in listening to these every week. I hope they feel the same way.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Well, thank you very much. Again, I really appreciate everybody tuning in, and and again, I really appreciate, of course, Ann is here at the control board to uh record and to uh make sure we get on the air. So, Tim, I know we got a number of questions we want to get to tonight, and so let's see how many we can get to. And so, who's our first question from, Tim?

SPEAKER_01 2:16

This is so weird, but this is pretty much gonna be my show because all the questions that came in have come in from me. But this make no mistake about it, this is Father Mark's show. I'm just support.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

And you have a lot of questions, just like everybody else.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

And this one's actually very personal. My mother-in-law is a seen in a senior care facility. She watches Mass on television every week and dutifully performs a spiritual communion. It has been roughly seven years since she physically took the Eucharist in presence. Is this a problem for her faith life?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Thank you, Tim, for that question. Again, I think this is not only a personal question, but I'm sure others have the same questions with loved ones in uh uh centers. And so again, there in short, they say it's not a problem that your mother-in-law's faith life has not been affected by not having received holy communion in the last seven years because it's not her fault. Right. Um, you know, it's not her fault she has not received holy communion. Now, of course, we the church does teach that we are required to receive holy communion at least once a year. This is, of course, based on the understanding that we can physically go to holy communion and that there is even someone who can bring holy communion to us. And of course, you know, based on the understanding that uh, you know, all this, and if we cannot go and can't make it to Holy Communion, we cannot go to church, or someone doesn't bring Holy Communion to us, we would be exempt from this yearly requirement because it's not on our conscious, it's not our own conscious decision not to go to Holy Communion. We want to go to Holy Communion, but no one brings it to us. Or there's no way for us to get to Mass. Again, that would exempt us from the precept of the church to receive Holy Communion at least once a year, especially during the Easter season. Now, for people like your mother-in-law who is in a senior care facility, it would of course be appropriate for the facility or the local parish to provide transportation for those who want to go and able to go to attend mass at a local parish church. It would be appropriate for the local parish to send and experience holy communion on a regular basis to that senior care facility. It would also be appropriate for a local parish to send the priest on a regular basis, at least maybe once a month, to offer mass at the senior care facility, especially those Catholic, you know, especially to visit those Catholic residents who are unable to attend Mass at their local Catholic parish or, you know, the local church. Again, as we talked about a previous episode on anointing of the sick, you know, pastors are responsible for the sick within their parish boundaries, including uh senior care facilities, even if they're not their own parishioners. Yet, of course, we know that with fewer priests, there is a challenge for pastors to minister to their daily parish needs, including daily mass, funerals, and other duties, and to get to senior care facilities. But it has been my experience in the parishes I've served that I've had at least scheduled one mass each month in one or more senior care facilities within the parish boundaries I'm serving in. Of course, when a funeral comes up on the day that I'm scheduled to go to the senior care facility, you know, mass might be canceled or postponed. And then, of course, you know, masses at senior care facilities are not usually offered on holy days such as Sundays, all Saints Day, Christmas. And so, again, residents are unable to go to Mass and receive Holy Communion on these days. And so we need to do our best to offer, as priests, I'm saying we need to do our best to offer mass at least once a month or at least send Holy Communion extramurance holy communion on other days, and again, all done in cooperation with the administration, the staff of the senior care facility. And so when a priest or an extra minister's holy communion is not available to visit the senior care facility, we would hope that the Catholic residents would at least be watching Mass on TV or online, and they would be doing what we call a spiritual communion. That is, they are receiving Jesus with this holy desire, you know, a holy spiritual desire to receive Jesus. Again, it's not the same as physically receiving Jesus Holy Communion, but this is an appropriate and approved way for those unable to attend Mass, to receive Holy Communion, and participate in Jesus, receive Jesus physically. And so oftentimes online broadcasts of Mass provide a prayer for spiritual communion, such as the one that's used on EWTN for their masses, and this prayer goes as follows My Jesus, I believe that thou art present in the Blessed Sacrament. I love thee above all things and desire thee in my soul. Since I cannot receive thee sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart, as though thou wert already here. I embrace thee and unite myself wholly to thee. Permit me not that I should ever be separated from thee. Amen. And that prayer is written by Saint Aphonsus Marie de Ligori. So again, it's a wonderful prayer again to offer ourselves for spiritual communion. So again, if a priest or experienced holy communion is not visiting the facility, you know, or uh on a regular basis or at all, or even for many years, I again it's appropriate for a family member to contact the pastor or the parish in which the facility is located, and then request a visit from the priest or an experienced holy communion. Again, as we spoke about in episodes 21 and 22, you know, it's appropriate to notify the priest that she's there, to make sure that she's aware, and again, she would like to receive Holy Communion, even be anointed, as I described in episode 21, which again includes that as an opportunity for saccharilliation as well as the reception of Holy Communion. Uh, and again, there's also, I'm sure other Catholics in that facility would like to have that same opportunity. And so my ultimate question is, you know, why has your mother-in-law been neglected so long? Is it due to a lack of awareness of her parish or pastor or the parish in which the facility is located? And again, about the other Catholics there in that facility, you know, who need that maybe that pastoral care and spiritual care. You know, is her parish or pastor, quote, too busy to visit? You know, again, this is why it is the family's right and even obligation to contact the pastor of the parish in which the facility is located, again, to ask for or request that visit from the priest or experiment of Holy Communion. But in the meantime, it's good news that Jesus is still with her since the last time she did receive Holy Communion. She's not sinning for not going to Mass and receive Holy Communion because, again, she's not physically able to go to Mass. She's confined to the physical, the senior care facility. Again, she has not been given the opportunity to receive Holy Communion. And again, she is doing the best by watching Mass on TV to help her to pray and maintain that spiritual connection with the church with Christ. Right. So again, it in the bottom line, it would be good for family to do the best they can to contact the pastor. Again, I would hope the priest, her pastor, would be able to respond to her and visit her. Again, beyond that, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

But there's a lot of lay people, even in the Sioux City area, who do a lot of delivering to elderly people. Exactly. They're correct. Eucharistic ministers and they do a there's a ton of that in Wappahoe City.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Yeah, in fact, you know, every parish has a number of that go out and visit the sick, they do, including the uh senior care facilities, and so hopefully a parish would have someone to go.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

So if you're you're here in Sioux City and you have a relative who's in one of the care facilities and you're not getting it, it should be an easy fix to have that done.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

And that'd be anywhere you're listening to, too, because there's for care facilities all over the place. And again, there's Catholics surely there, and if your love and is Catholic and is not receiving, you know, uh at spiritual care, you know, please contact a local parish.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Let's go to the next one. The next question again is from me. There have been many recent media pieces about the Pope speaking about political issues. Iran war, many being controversial. What was the Pope's vocal position related to World War I slash World War II? Realizing that social media is heavier now than it was back then.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Did the Pope have a position?

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Well, he didn't have social media back then, World War I and World War II. Uh first thing I'm gonna just point out, and the primary you know, feature of the papacy is that the pa the pope is the spiritual head and leader of the Catholic Church. Again, following the apostolic succession of St. Peter, who is the first Pope. And of course, the the the Vatican City, the Vatican State is recognized as a nation in a sense within the city of Rome. And so, yes, the Pope is often recognized as a head of state, as we see when the Pope visits other country, like Pope Leo XIV did earlier in mid-2026 when he went to Africa and to Europe and Spain. Again, he receives often formal welcomes from heads of state. And so, again, the primary role is spiritual head and leader of the church. However, we do see, of course, the popes throughout the ages have addressed worldly issues such as the climate, the economy, and of course, war. And again, some of these statements that the popes issue sometimes are considered political statements. That's how some media designate them. And again, often the Pope is addressing worldly issues on from a spiritual point of view based on church teaching. And so we have seen this course happen when the Pope shared the church's teaching on war and peace, including when Russia attacked Ukraine, and most recently when Pope Leo XIV made some statements in the early mid-2026 regarding U.S. military's attacks on Iran. Now let's go to World War I and World War II. During World War II, the church was served by two popes. Pope Pius X, who served from 1903 to 1914, and he actually died about a month right after World War II began in 1914. And thus he was completing his pontificate, had just completed work on the first code of canon law that would be promulgated later, the next Pope. So again, he didn't have anything to say about World War II, World War I, as I could find. Now Pope Benedict XV again served from 1914 to 1922, again, during all of World War II, basically and beyond. And so during that war, World War I, he did protest in human forms of warfare. He did maintain strict neutrality and abstained from condemning any of those involved in the war. But then each side, of course, accused him of favoring the other side. So again, it's all about perspective. He did also work to alleviate suffering, including working to reunite prisoners of war with families. He encouraged Switzerland to accept soldiers from any country who were suffering from tuberculosis. In August of 1917, he offered a seven-point peace plan to the Allies that was based on justice rather than on military triumph. Again, this plan was rejected both sides immediately. Now, when the war ended in November of 1918, he did call for international reconciliation. He gave general support to the League of Nations while being a critical of some of the aspects of it. And he worked to establish church-state relations with the new nations that were emerging from World War I. And again, during this entire time, you know, he continued to work with his papacy, including issuing the first Code of Canada law in 1917. So again, Pope Benedict the 15th had some things to say, uh, again, trying to keep a little neutrality, but part of it is, I think, is trying to protect too, you know, from being, you know, having Vatican City attacked.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

World War II, the Pope was Pope Pius XII. He served from 1939 to 1958. Again, he saw himself as a Pope of Peace. Again, he was elected six months before war broke out in 1939. Uh he did work to avert war through diplomatic moves, um, including in 1939 in May, he called for an international conference to settle some differences peacefully. And in August of 1939, he made a meet radio appeal to the world to abstain from war. However, about a month later, September 1st, 1939, war broke out. And then he worked to keep Italy out of the war. Now, when Italy entered the war, again Rome was considered an open city, and Pope Pius XII remained impartial and strictly neutral and repeatedly called for a just and lasting peace. In his allocution of Christmas 1939, he laid down five principles to end the war, including general disarmament, recognition of minority rights, and the right of every nation to independence. And again, although he saw communism as more dangerous than Nazism, he did condemn Hitler's attack on Russia. He also condemned the Allies' demand at Casablanca in January 1943 for an unconditional surrender. And then he also supervised throughout the war the Pontifical Aid Commission to help offer relief to war victims, especially for prisoners of war. And he made Vatican City an asylum for countless refugees, including Jews, when Hitler invaded Rome in September 1943. Like Pope Benedict XV, he was criticized for the this time for veiled and generalized language that he used against this cynically planned world domination and the genocide was taking place during World War II. So in the cases of Pope Benedict XV and Pope Pius XII and Pope Leo XIV today, and other popes who have addressed worldly issues such as war, famine, the environment, economy, forms of government, even technology such as AI. Again, we've seen them try to address these issues in the perspective of Christ and the church, doing so in a diplomatic way. Yet some people see their statements from a worldly perspective and call these political. And so there's kind of even a fine line between political and spiritual sometimes. Yet again, I believe that and hope that statements made by our popes are ones that invite us to look at the worldly matters from the perspective of God, seeing all peoples create an image of likeness of God, again calling us to serve and love God and one another despite our political stances.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

I think that is really informative. I'm a student of history, so I was really interested in finding out what kind of proclamations following the faith were made during those historical wars, very similar to our war right now. So he's the so Pope Leo's not unusual.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

No, he's not unusual, yeah. Again, popes have been criticized throughout the ages for saying things that the church teaches. So again, if you're just tuning in, your listening father knows best here on Siouxland Catholic Radio is to answer your questions about faith in the Catholic Church. I'm Father Mark Stowe with Tim Sudin, who's presenting questions, obviously, from you, our listeners. And so, Tim, I believe you have another question. I do.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

This is a three-fur. It's my third question of the evening. My understanding is that an annulment of a marriage is necessary to be considered a faithful Catholic during a divorce. My further understanding is that the annulment takes place, takes some time, a period of time over weeks slash months. What is the status of said Catholic during the interim period of waiting for an annulment and after leaving their spouse?

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Okay, thank you for that question. Again, this question is right in my field of expertise. You know, I didn't have to do any research in this because I've worked for the tribunal of Sioux City for 11 years, you know, a number of years ago. And again, I've worked with many people over the last 34 years who are working to seek an annulment. So again, first, the ch let's begin. The church teaches that once married, always married. You know, from life until death, you are married. Correct. Correct. However, the church is also, of course, aware of the human condition and the fact that couples do separate and they do divorce with no hopes of reconciliation. Correct. So divorce is a civil recognition of the breakdown of the union of the husband and wife. Yet the church sees the husband and wife still in a marital union even though they've separated. Now, both at that point, the man and woman, the white husband, husband and wife, would be still in good standing with the church, able and even encouraged to receive the sacraments of the Eucharist reconciliation, even though I am sick if it's called for for each of those, of course, if they're Catholic. Divorce, again itself, does not designate the Catholic person as being an unfaithful Catholic. Some people believe that. No, divorces does not change that. They are confronting that once they divorce, they are of course not free to date another person or even to remarry since they're still considered married to each other, even though they're separated. The Catholic person or persons would be considered an unfaithful Catholic if they started to date another, or if they married another person before the death of the other spouse, or before the annulment was granted for the marriage. So in this case, the Catholic would still be encouraged and able to receive the sacrament salation, anointing sick of needed. They could attend Mass, but should not be receiving Holy Communion. And of course, they cannot celebrate the rite of matrimony. So after the divorce, either person could file a petition for annulment. And they would do that by visiting their pastor. They'd fill out uh a form, a petitions called to ask the Diocen tribunal to investigate the validity of their marriage. They would then need to cooperate with the process, which could take uh as short as a month, but sometimes over a year, to complete, depending on the circumstances of the marriage. Now, during this time, again, both the man and the woman would still be in good standing with the church, again, able to receive the sacraments of Eucharist and reconciliation only the sick, for those who are Catholic, not free to date, not free to remarry, again, since they're considered married to each other. Again, as I just said earlier, they only be considered unfaithful if they did start to uh date another or marry another person before that annulment was granted. So, in short, if both the man and woman have not begun dating another person, if they have not attempted another marriage to another person, they would still be considered faithful Catholics in good standing, again, able and even encouraged again to receive the sacraments of the Eucharist and reconciliation. And again, this is all through the whole process of annulment. If they wait through that whole process, cooperating the process, if that annulment is granted, then they'd be free to consider another marriage and start dating. And so my recommendation is if you are divorced and have not filed petition for annulment, I would advise you to please contact your pastor and then go through that, uh, even go to the di here, the the the diocese's tribunal webpage of the diocese you belong to, and you can find more information about annulments and how that works and and some more details on this question.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

But there is quite a bit of backlog of annulment process uh processes, is there or is there not?

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Not really. Okay, you know, it's it just takes a while. So uh my understanding like the diocese of the city, they're doing maybe around 100 annulments a year. Okay. So again, with the staff they have on, they can handle them in that time. So it's okay. Yeah, so it it varies from di tribunal to tribunal, but but again, if if you're found for annulment, again, be faithful to the church's teachings and you're you know in good hands.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

That does not seem like a very long time at all if they're doing a hundred a year.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Yeah, okay. All right, sorry, fourth one.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Yeah, the last class maybe the last one to date. The Catholic faith evolved from pre-Cana classes to marriage prep. Has there been a major major change in the doctrine or theory in what is taught to couples prior to marriage?

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Thank you for that question. Again, this question comes in the field of my expertise. Again, they haven't done much research because I've served in 2028 parishes in the excuse me, 27 parishes in the Diocese City. Again, the tribunal for 11 years, and I've worked with many couples in the last 34 years helping them prepare. For marriage. So we're now looking at how we prepare people for marriage. And so, in short, nothing has really and has changed, but let me explain a little bit how the marriage process worked and kind of even the Diocese of the City, what has changed. The church has developed, of course, the process of preparing couples for marriage because we teach, as we see in the Catechism of the Catholic Church and Canon Law, that the marital covenant by which a man and woman establish between themselves a partnership for the whole life is by its nature ordered toward the good of spouses and the procreation and education offspring. And again, this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament. And so the process of preparing couples for marriage includes, again, meeting with the pastor or other persons in the parish to help prepare them, to assess their decision to marry each other, to help them work together for developing their relationship skills, to help them understand the sacramental nature and purpose of marriage, including its individual ability, lifelong commitment, the good of the spouses, and the procreation and education of children, and of course to ensure there's no impediments to the proposed marriage, such as they have a prior marriage. So this includes taking part in some form of even couple-to-couple programs or meetings or other classes such as natural family planning, completing necessary paperwork, and recording that so that marriage can be recorded in the parish files and on the baptismal record, and of course planning the liturgy. So over the years, the diocese has developed various programs. We have developed a program called, we actually utilize a program called Sponsor Couple, another program called Pre-Cana, another program called Online Marriage Preparation, and right now we're using a program called Witness to Love. Again, these programs are all part of the marriage preparation or premarital counseling. Pre-Cana was part of a marriage preparation that we use in the diocese for many years, where the couples would first meet with the pastor and then would be sent to a conference or retreat-like environment on a Saturday over a weekend with other couples to develop their relationship skills and again talk about the sacramental nature and purpose of marriage. In the 1990s to early 2000s, we also introduced a program called Kana 2 for those who are entering a second marriage. At the same time, parishes began offering a program called Sponsor Couple, where an engaged couple would meet with a trained married couple to again help them to go through developing the relationship skills and understand the sacramental nature of marriage. Again, parishes that offered sponsor couple, and again, you know, pre-Cana, again, sometimes we see some problems. And this is part of what we do as a diocese as parishes, too, to evaluate the effectiveness of our programs. And so, again, sometime in the early mid-2000s, if my memory is correct, there were some problems that were developing with the sponsor couple program in some parishes, including challenges to find and qualified and willing married couples to be sponsored couples. And so, in short, we eliminate the sponsor couple. We then required pre-cana that day or weekend. But again, we developed some issues with the pre-Cana program, which included scheduling of dates and locations for the events. Again, finding trained and qualified married couples to be presenters, finding priests who are available to be spiritual directors and offer mass and recollection at those events. And again, one of the disadvantages of pre-Cana is lack of one-to-one meeting with an engaged coupl with another couple. And we even had, believe it or not, couples who would sign into the session but then did not participate. They actually left even before it began. They skipped down program. And again, this program became an issue too when COVID shut us down because we cannot meet in person. And so the diocese then also began using online marriage preparation program, which allows couples to meet virtually with a qualified and trained married couple someplace in the United States. Again, to go over uh you know the aspects of marriage and relationship skills. Again, these virtual meetings, of course, are not as effective as one-to-one. And so we've worked on moving towards a new program called Witness to Love. It's like the sponsor couple program. Again, it's developed by a Catholic married couple in Louise End 2015. But again, it utilizes the fact that the couple preparing for marriage then choose a couple in the parish that they find as inspirational and they work with them. And then that couple uh is given some materials and training, and again, it really enhances both the couple preparing for marriage, but also the couple then that's also already married and working with the couple. So, in short, again, there's been no major changes in the doctrine or theory of what we do. But what we've changed has been due to some programs and materials that uh have not become as effective. Um also we're starting to address more uh modern issues such as introduction of social media, smartphones, and other technologies that prior generations didn't have. And again, we're all trying to be more effective with today's generation who are more, let's say, fast-paced, less engaged with the church. And again, we're all doing this for the good of the couples, preparing, helping them prepare for a lifelong commitment and for the good of the spouse and for their children. So I hope that answers your question.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

It does. But just as a quick follow-up, have you found that it's better to address couples one-on-one or in a group setting of having four finds? One-on-one best. One-on-one is best. Because then we can, you know, have an interchange between the two of you.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Exactly, we have an interchange, and we can also find where the couple is at and maybe start where they're at and then move them forward as we need to do. So, yeah, one-on-one is best. So, again, I think that's gonna whoops, we're gonna come to the uh end of our show tonight. So I think in the next episode we're gonna talk a little bit about Melangelica and her EDWTN network, uh, some questions and whatever that, how it's all started. We're gonna also talk about hopefully the uh excessations of the church's judgmental times, and maybe look at some of the attractions of some non-Catholic churches for Catholics and maybe talk about more. But again, I really appreciate you tuning in to Sue and Catholic Radio as the offer both national and local programs, including Faith in Action, Draw Near, Life Plan, Catholic Ministry Professionals, the Vine Mercy Chaplain, of course, Sunday, morning mass. Please also check out the Facebook pages of Sue and Light Catholic Radio and Father Knows Best for more information about this show, including more information about questions and answers I've addressed, and more information I have not addressed on this show. As we wrap out today's questions and answers, please extend I I extend excuse me, I extend our thanks to our listeners for tuning in. Your curiosity and engagement make the show possible, and we're always inspired by an incredible range of topics you bring to the table. Again, I hope you found the answers to both informative and lightning, and that you carry some new insights with you as you go about your week. If your question was not answered today, maybe you'll hear the answer to your question next week. If you missed this episode or like to re-listen to this or other episodes, please visit our website, SudanCatholic Radio.com, and visit the programs drop menu and to click on local programs to find this episode and other episodes of Father Knows Best and other local programs. Again, if you have any questions besides Tim, please send your questions to me at Father Knows Best Show at Yahoo.com and mail them to or mail them to Father Knows Best at Sudan Catholic Radio, 701 West Fifth Street, South City, Iowa, 51103. And thank you to our sponsor, St. Augustine Indian Mission, Winnebago. Please join us again next week, Wednesday at 9 p.m. for another round of questions and answers. Till then, stay curious, stay faithful, keep your light shining, keep those questions coming. For now, I'm Father Mark Stowe, your host, signing off. Wishing you a great week ahead, and mighty God bless you, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.