Father Knows Best Show
Father Knows Best is a locally produced Question and Answer show on Siouxland Catholic Radio 88.1 FM. The show is hosted by Father Mark Stoll. He is a priest in the Sioux City diocese, canon lawyer, and trained media person on air. The program airs on Wednesdays at 9pm.
Father Knows Best Show
Father Knows Best—Episode 38: Funerals; St. Paul; and Deacons
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Wednesday September 30, 9:00 pm on Siouxland Catholic Radio 88.1 FM
Episode #38 of Father Knows Best sponsored by St. Augustine Indian Mission in Winnebago, NE features Father Mark Stoll addressing questions about funerals, St. Paul, and deacons.
Tune in tonight so we may discover, learn, and engage our hearts, souls and minds so we may be illuminated, informed and inspired. Please send your questions to fatherknowsbestshow@yahoo.com.
I have questions. I don't understand. I'm confused. What's going on? This is not what I learned in school. What does the church really teach? Welcome to Fundamental's Bush. The studios of 88.1 FM, KFA C Pankasu City, and K-O-I-A. Storm Lake. Brought to you by the St. Augustine Indian Mission, Winnipeg. We all have questions and the curiosity about manners of faith as it is normal for humanity to ask questions and seek answers in the timeless quest for understanding regarding manners of faith in the church. We believe that there is no such thing as a foolish or dumb question. And I say the only dumb question is the one that is not asked. And the reality is that the questions you have are like questions others have, and so it is good to ask. Sometimes an answer leads to more questions. Sometimes the questions and answers will lead us to insights we never considered. We at Siouxland Catholic Radio want to invite our listeners from Jackson, Nebraska to Elk Point, South Dakota, to Stromlick, Iowa, and everywhere in between and beyond, send your questions to us at Father Knows Best Show at Yahoo.com. Or mail them to Father Knows Best, Sioux Lan Catholic Radio, 701 West Fifth Street, Sioux City, Iowa, 51103. During this time, once a week, I or another guest will do our best to answer some of the questions I've received here at the studio so we may discover, learn, and engage our hearts and souls and minds, so we may be illuminated, informed, and inspired. So I thank you for tuning in. We invite you to open your mind, let the questions begin, and let your curiosity find its voice. Tim, are you ready for another round of questions and answers this evening?
SPEAKER_00I am so ready for it. You know, Father, we were talking before we went on that you know you have learned so much by the research that you're doing on these questions. I've learned so much by just sitting here with you for all these weeks. So I hope incredibly. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Great questions. And again, one of the things that helps make the show great is of course is Ann, who is at the control board, who makes sure that this is all recorded and gets on to the air. And so grateful for everybody who's helps put the show together. So, Tim, let's uh get to end our questions. I think we're gonna pick up from last week.
SPEAKER_00It does sound like we're gonna pick up from last week, and you know, this I think I have a few of my own questions here. So this is the first one. This is a continuation from last week regarding my question about rosaries, wakes, funerals, and memorial services and changes in how Catholics and their families say goodbye to their loved ones, including the more popular practice of cremations in the Catholic faith.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and so last week we talked a little bit about uh the the wake, which is also known as the vigil for the deceased, and that takes place the evening before the funeral. The second ritual is the funeral, and then that follows, you know, the next day when the body is brought to the parish church, and then we celebrate a mass. And again, that funeral mass begins in the usual way we do any mass, you know, with the greeting, name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The priest then blesses the casket, prayers are then prayed for the deceased and for the family and friends. Again, there's a reverence of the body of the deceased, you know, with using incense. And this is one of those masses that has really no conclusion, no concluding right, because at the end there's no final blessing other than this as an announcement either by the priest or deacon says, Let us now take our brother or sister to his or her place of rest. And so the continuation will take place at the cemetery. So that funeral is a is a wonderful opportunity for us to get together again to pray for family, for friends, and for the deceased. The third ritual then takes place at the grave, at the cemetery. This third ritual zone is the rite of committal. This is where we find the final prayer of farewell for the deceased, again, prayers again for the family and friends. It includes the blessing of the grave. Now, the committal officially is actually the lowering of the casket into the grave. Again, it's not always done, but if you ever get a chance to see this, it's really a powerful uh sign of that they're being lowered in the grave that's going to be their home for the rest of their lives as far as their body is concerned. And then not all families like you know, see that, and so sometimes it's not always done, but it can be done. Then there's also additional prayers and intercessions for the deceased, and then the final blessing and dismissal. Now, also, of course, in the case of uh like a military funeral, a military service, you know, there's the usual military rite with taps being done and the presentation of the flag. Now, let's talk about the preferences. So again, that those are the three rituals vision for the deceased, funeral, and then the rite of committal. Right. The preference of the church is again that the deceased would be present in a casket for the visual of the deceased, next day of the funeral, and then the rite of committal at the cemetery. However, we also know that you mentioned cremation. So cremation was formally as of July 5th, 1963, with the instruction made by the Holy Office in Rome, and then included in the 1983 code of canal law, that it allowed cremation to take place. Again, this instruction taught that cremation is not intrinsically opposed to Christianity and the Catholic funeral rites and the sacraments should no longer automatically be denied to someone who chose cremation. They provided that the choice is not motivated by denial of Christian doctrine, namely like resurrection, or because of hate for the church or any of the similar anti-Christian reasons. Now, of course, you know, before 63, the uh cremation had been prohibited and was strongly imposed because cremation was often associated with materialism, atheism, Freemasonry, and denial of the resurrection. It was in 1997 that permission was granted to the United States of America for us to allow to have a funeral mass in the presence of the cremated remains. You know, before then, cremated, you know, body could be cremated, person could be cremated, but those cremanes that earn would not be in the church. But only a memorial mass would then be celebrated with the cremanes not present, probably in the hearse or the funeral home car. But then since 1997, again, we have allowed to have cremations present for the funeral mass in the church. And again, the only difference you can see really, other than there's no casket, there's an urn, there's no place of the pall when the cremenes are present in the urn. Now, since 1997, we have seen in the church a large increase in the number of wakes and funerals and burials using cremes. Even up to about 50% of those funerals involve cremaes. Now, this is another thing that we've saw happen. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, remember that time when a limited number of people could be permitted to attend the vigil for the deceased, the funeral and the burial? Again, the people limited, I think it was like 10, and that even included the funeral home director and the priest. We now have seen fewer families requesting the vigil for the deceased. We're even seeing people skipping the funeral, and even more requests for the funeral take place at the funeral home outside of Mass. And so there is this tend to skip the vigil for deceased and also have a visitation before the funeral at the Mass, you know, or at the church. And so the visitation actually takes place maybe an hour or two before the funeral mass at the church. And then we've also seen uh requests for what called celebrations of life. Again, are not part of the church's uh tradition. It's really practices that I think are driven by convenience and cost factors. Now, again, the preference again is again for the vigil of the deceased at the parish church or the funeral home, and then the funeral mass at the parish church with no visitation before the uh funeral at the parish church, followed by the burial. Again, with with with again, that's either with the body or we're also cremains allowed too. Now, following these rites of the vigil for the mass, excuse me, the visual for the deceased, the funeral mass, the burial, um, these are off really beautiful and wonderful farewell ceremonies and rituals for the deceased. And again, as we have seen some of these premises kind of slip away, we are also now seeing currently today bishops around the country, and even some pastors who are tightening diocesan and parish funeral policies. They're working to emphasize a more uh stricter adherence to the order of Christian funerals, uh, again, amid this popular evolving practices that are departing from the norms of the church, including, you know, visitations, eulogies, cremated remains, other irregular practices, other liturgical anomalies, as they call them. So give you an example. July 1st, 2026, Bishop Thomas Papriki, if I remember if that's how he's pronounced it, papriki, I believe it is, paparaki, diocese of Springfield, Illinois, anyway. He explains that his goal is to ensure that Catholic funerals in his diocese conform to the norms of the Catholic Church. And so again, he again emphasizes again the three parts of the order of Christian funerals. Again, the vigil, night before the funeral, the funeral mass, could also be a liturgy outside of Mass, and then the rite of committal. And again, really, he wants is working to prohibit again that practice of visitation at the church on the day of the funeral before the funeral, and because again, that should really take place at the vigil of the deceased. He's also asking priests and deacons, you know, to uh might lead these vigil prayers, you know, even to do so, even without the gathering of family members. So meaning that if a family decides they don't want to have a vigil, he's asking priests and deacons to still go to the funeral home and do those prayers, even if there's no family around. But again, he's encouraging people to participate. This can happen again in Springfield, Illinois. Again, he goes on and notes that families may still gather the funeral home for brief prayers before the transfer of the body to the church or the place of communal. Again, this is really part of our custom, too, that we would gather before we uh transport the body to the church. Again, this can be also these prayers can also be led by the funeral home director, maybe a staff member of the parish. Again, even a relative if the clergy are unavailable. Now, again, we look at this uh procession to the church. Again, this was a wonderful thing. I remember, you know, some parishes are still doing this, but we've seen less of this now. Procession from the funeral home to the church. Um, again, it serves as a reminder to us, this procession to the church, that when the deceased person first entered the church through baptism. And so it's a wonderful way to remind ourselves of what this person experienced through baptism. Then again, the Bishop of Springfield, Illinois also points out eulogies are not permitted. Again, words of remembrance can be done as long as those words speak about the faith life of the one who died and gave praise to God. Because oftentimes we bend to wakes or funerals and we hear people talk about the loved one, and the person becomes the praise of a main focus of attention and becomes the main focus of attention. And again, they don't mention even anything about their faith life, who they were as a as a person of faith. And again, the homily and the words of remembrance, too, you know, should have a God as the primary focus. And again, we need to also avoid some very inappropriate things being said in church, which we've all heard said. And again, we also have people who, when they do eulogies, for example, really become really overcome with grief. And so again, he's asking that words of remembrance be submitted even for approval by the pastor at least three days before the funeral. And then only the priest and deacon will then read the words of remembrance. And so this is one of the things that the Bishop of Springfield is doing to help kind of tie in or close down some of the wild practices of funerals and wakes, but again, he's reaffirming again the practice of the burial of the body. Again, still, you know, cremation is okay, uh, but again, we must be uh those cremated remains must be interred intact, not scattered, and interred within 30 days, he says. There's other bishops, including Bishop David John uh David Bonner of Young Center, Ohio, who again has also issued similar statements and decrees to end irregular practices such as visitation or viewings before the church, which points out when we do visitations before the funeral mass, it is actually compromising the sacred space, you know, by the noise and activity that becomes unbecoming of this reverence that is due the Blessed Sacrament. Bishop Robert McManus of Worcestershire, Massachusetts, again issued a statement here in May of 2026, again, pointing out again about the cremation issue, but again, pointing out that the body is preferred. And again, one of the things that we're seeing here is that this body is preferred because it helps, as psychologists point out, it helps when they when people see a dead body, it helps them start bringing a little closure to when someone dies. The presence of the physical body in the casket helps bring that closure. A fold over person sitting beside an urn does not have the same effect of bringing closure to the family. They had no body, no cremanes, a lot of those people. And so some of those people are still suffering from the loss of their death one because they have not been able to bring closure. Because they've seen no body, no cremates. Now, again, if cremation is chosen, of course, the cremates may not be divided, they might not may not be placed in multiplications, they may not be scattered in any location, they might not be kept in private homes, may not be kept in or placed in jewelry, and again, insurment must be done relatively soon and not after a long delay. And so again, purpose, all these norms that we've seen some bishops and priests now doing, again, is all about helping to bring uh dignity and reverence to the mortal remains of our loved ones, and again, also to remind ourselves that too, the cemeteries that we uh have are places of hope for our people, for ourselves even. And so I also want to point out in addition, I talked about this in an earlier episode about the order of anointing the sick and the pastoral care. Again, in 1925, the UCCB included prayers after death, and those have been retranslated again in a pattern that we've seen other translations done, and they're beautiful prayers. In fact, uh one of those prayers I actually use occasionally here on Sioux Land Catholic Radio, it might be here here, played occasionally when I pray often a prayer for deceased loved ones. So it's a beautiful prayer. And so, again, we do have some you know anomalies going on, you know, irregular practices in the in our in our churches, but again, we really want to see again us moving towards vigil for the deceased, a funeral the next day, and then rite of committal at the cemetery. And again, all these rituals combined really do a wonderful job of honoring and praying for the deceased, praying for and supporting the family and friends of the deceased, bringing closure during that time of loss for the family, and also at the same time celebrating the love and the promises of God due to our hope in the resurrection of the body into new life with God. And after this episode, I'm gonna post on my Facebook page, the Father Knows Best Facebook page, a link to this article about the U.S. bishops tightening the policies, and then you can read more about that. So I hope that answers your question.
SPEAKER_00That answers my question completely. That's a very good, very good answer.
SPEAKER_01Excellent. So again, if you're just tuning in, you're listening to Father Knows Best here on Suit Line Catholic Radio, as I answer your questions about faith in the Catholic Church. I'm Father Mark Store joined by Tim Sadine, and we're answering questions presented by actually by Tim this time. Tim, what's your next question?
SPEAKER_00You know, the funny part of this is I knew they were always out there, but I didn't know whether St. Paul had a question on whether he wrote them all. Yes. Here is my question. This is a question related to the 13 letters of Paul or the epistles of the New Testament. Why did he write the letters? I know there was a question as to whether he wrote all of them. That was the piece I did not know. What is the current Catholic leadership position on these letters?
SPEAKER_01Excellent. Thank you for that question. Again, it's a wonderful question. Again, this you know takes me way back to my scripture studies in college and seminary. But yes, there are 13 letters, sometimes known as epistles, in the New Testament, Tribune to St. Paul. And we're gonna kind of let's dive into all of them just briefly and the characteristics of them. Again, reminder that we could probably do a whole semester on all these letters, if not more. And so, some of the highlights. Some of these letters, again, were written by St. Paul, others may have been written by St. Paul, and others we know that Paul dictated to a scribe, or others were written in St. Paul's name. And so the letters that we know Saint Paul wrote, and why, the reason why he wrote the letters, 1 Thessalonians, written by St. Paul. Why to address the fate of those who have died before Christ has returned. So it's questions like Christ hasn't come again. You know, what's going on here? He also wrote Galatians. Again, this uh letter is particularly dictated, was partially dictated to a scribe and partially written by Saint Paul to address a group of churches with a concern about converts who are being confused by some agitators who were attacking Paul's authority and offering again a different gospel. Then Paul wrote Philippians. Again, this actually could be two letters that, or three, maybe three letters that were combined. It was written by St. Paul when he was in prison, again, written to thank the people of those churches for the money they had sent him, the collection they had made. Written to address some uh unity issues to help them stand in unity against antagonism from fellow citizens, and also address people who believed that the whole Jewish law needed to be kept in order to be Christian.
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SPEAKER_01Paul also wrote 1 Corinthians, again, likely dictated to a scribe after St. Paul wrote his greeting, his own words, in his own hands, meaning in his own hand. Again, addressed certain basic flaws in the Corinthians' understanding of Christian community, and also encouraged them for a true appreciation of authentic life in Christ. He also wrote 2 Corinthians, again, written to address opposition to his teachings that uh some Christians, you know, were attacking his authority. He also wrote Romans, again, possibly dictated to a man named uh Tertitus, again to announce his planned visit to Rome and to introduce himself to the Christians in Rome. And he wrote Philomon, again, possibly written by St. Paul when he was in prison. It's a private letter, it's one of those unique letters, it's a private letter written to an owner of a slave whose name is Onesimus, a runaway slave who had come to Paul. And Paul is asking the owner to receive the slave back freely with open arms, and even maybe even to free him, and even maybe allow him to return the slave to return back to St. Paul to help him. So those are the letters that are written by Paul, we know for sure. The letters were probably written by one of St. Paul's disciples, and why include uh 2 Thessalonians, again, is actually written after St. Paul was martyred by someone who likely knew 1 Corinthians and he was working to appeal to St. Paul's authority, again, to counter false belief that the day of the Lord had already occurred, and so again, to combat the false belief that the second coming of Christ was irrelevant. Again, another letter that was probably written by one of his disciples after his martyrdom was Colossians. Again, one of the things that scripture scholars look at is that it uses some words that Paul did not use when he wrote his other letters. It includes excludes, that letter excludes some of his favorite expressions, such as brothers or my brothers. And written purposely was written to bolster faith and to correct some errors and false teaching. Ephesians, again, written after St. Paul was martyred by someone who obviously knew St. Paul's letters very well, even though the letter mentions that St. Paul is the author. And so it uses such terms as heavenly places that differ from what terms other letters of St. Paul uses. Again, written to encourage readers to behave as children of the light and members of the church. Then there are letters that are not written by St. Paul, but under his name addressed to two of his closest companions, uh Titus and Timothy. Timothy is listed actually as a co-author of 1 Thessalonians, Philippians, 2 Corinthians, and Philemon. These three letters, Titus, 1st and 2 Timothy, again, are not forgeries. These are letters that extend Paul's teaching to issues of later days in the church, as these letters express a kind of a more developed church order than was found in Paul's earlier letters. And they're written to address pastoral concerns about church organization and discipline, including calling leaders and all Christians to renewed commitment and enthusiasm for the Christian way of life, again to value and maintain order, and again to offer procedures to do for the proper maintenance of the God's house, so that is. The church. So in review, the letters we know that St. Paul wrote are 1 Thessalonians, Galatians, Philippians, 1st and 2 Corinthians, Romans, and Philimon. And the letters probably written by one of his disciples, 2 Corinthians, Colossians, and Ephesians. And we know that letters were not written by Paul, but under his name Titus, and 1 and 2 Timothy. And so all these letters are basically written to address various issues in each community and to encourage Christians to live in the way of the gospel of Christ. So I hope that answers your question.
SPEAKER_00It sounds like for the most part they were intended to be educational.
SPEAKER_01Yes, they are. Okay. Instructional. Yep. Let's try a third one tonight. I think this will be the last one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and then again, this comes from me. What is a deacon? What are the required educational requirements to become a deacon? And how would you convince someone to become a deacon?
SPEAKER_01Thank you for that question. For the church, we define a deacon is a man who enjoys what we call the third degree of the hierarchy of the sacrament of holy orders, after the bishop and priest. So a deacon is ordained, not to the priesthood, but he is ordained to the min to ministry and service. He is ordained to assist the bishop and to assist priests in celebration of divine mysteries, especially the Eucharist, and also in helping with the distribution of Holy Communion. Deacon can also assist at blessings of marriages, which are going to be a celebration of matrimony outside of Mass. He's given the responsibility to claim the gospel and to preach the gospel. He may preside over funerals outside of Mass. He's also called to dictate to dedicate themselves to the spirit ministries of charity. And so there are two types of deacons in the church who exercise these functions. There is one known as a transitional deacon. These are men who are over the age of 25, who are studying to be ordained a priest. Again, the priesthood is the second degree of holy orders. And anybody studying to become a priest needs to serve as a deacon for at least six months before ornation to the priesthood. Then there are permanent deacons. Deacons who are men who are at least 35 years of age, who are married, or widowed, or maybe even celebrate, who are then ordained to serve as deacons for the rest of their lives. Now the Catholic churches of the East have always had a functioning order of deacons, but we here in the West, in the Roman Catholic Church, the Latin Rite, we had them, then we kind of they disappeared other than the transitional deacons. Now we have re-established the permanent deacon under the Second Vatican Council. This is found in Lumen Gentian 29 when it says, at a lower level hierarchy are to be found deacons who receive the imposition hands not under priesthood but under ministry. And so again, we see what happens at an ornation of a deacon is that the bishop lays his hands on the candidate, again, specifying basically a special connection to the bishop in his role of service. And again, since Vatican II now we've seen this graduate restoration of the diacon in our diocese around the country. Again, it can be further can be conferred on married men. Again, if a married man or his wife dies after he's ordained a deacon, he cannot remarry. But again, the ordination of the deacon involves the promises to be obedient to the bishop and successors. Again, imposition of hands and by the bishop, calling upon the Holy Spirit upon that man to consecrate him as a deacon. And he's also presented the book of the gospels, which signifies his role to preach the gospel, believing, teaching, and practicing the gospel. Now, before a man can become a deacon, again, he has to complete our application with uh to the bishop with help of his pastor, uh, the bishop and his advisors with an interview of the application. If it's accepted, then man will be required to enter in a web quality sermon process, which includes tending classes for about five years, again, covering different topics such as church ministry, history, various practicums, again, taking part in various meetings and evaluations with the bishop and his advisors, again, participating in the life of the parish, and again, always with the support of his wife. You know, if he's married, we need his cons the wife's consent. If the wife doesn't consent or is not supportive, then a call to deaconate will not happen. And so this task of convincing uh a man to become a deacon, it's kind of like even encouraging a man to become a priest. Again, it involves prayer, uh, becomes, you know, involves recognizing a person's gifts and talents. Uh, again, maybe a verbal invitation to the man to consider the deaconate. And of course, um, ultimately, this call comes from God, you know, through people like you and you and I, so that this man may discern this call, study it. And again, sometimes just like even with guys who decide they want to become priests, through the process of their sermon and their seminary training, they say, No, this is not for me. Or the bishop may say, No, this is not for you. And so, in short, a deacon is a man who has been called by God to serve in the world of holy orders as a deacon, again, after a required time of discernment and training, ordained by the bishop, and again, commissioned to, ordained to uh help with the celebration of the sacraments, especially the Eucharist, proclaim the gospel, and again to dedicate themselves to various ministries of charity, such as we see mentioned in Acts chapter 6, when the first deacons were introduced. So I hope that answers your question.
SPEAKER_00That does have a really good job of answering the question. And I think we're about to the end of our show here, I think.
SPEAKER_01I think so too. So, you know, gayly, you know, let me let's next week, let's maybe talk about uh about those people leave mass early. Or uh let maybe talk about uh maybe some about can of law. Maybe we'll get into some of the items in the sanctuary, we'll see. But again, we got many more questions to address, and so again, really appreciate everyone tuning in to Sudan Catholic Radio as we offer both national and local programs, including Faith in Action, Life Plan, Catholic Ministry Professionals, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and of course Sunday morning mass. Please check out the Facebook pages of Sudan Catholic Radio and Father Knows Best for more information about this show, including more information about questions and answers I've addressed, and more information that I've not addressed on this show. As we wrap up today's question and answer session, again extend our heartfelt thanks to all of our listeners for tuning in and sharing thought-invoking questions. Your curiosity and engagement make the show possible, are always inspired by an incredible range of topics you bring to the table. We hope that you have found the answers both informative and enlightening as you'll carry some new insights with you as you go about your week. If your question was not answered today, you may hear the answer to your question next week or the week after. If you missed this episode or would like to read listen to this or other episodes, please visit our website, Sue LineCatholic Radio.com, and visit the programs drop menu and click on local programs to find this episode and other episodes of Father Knows Best and other local programs. Again, if you have any questions besides Tim, I know you have questions out there, even from Breeda or Fonda, Storm Lake. Please send your questions to me at Father Knows Best Show at Yahoo.com or mail them to Father Knows Best, Sue on the Catholic Radio, 71 West 5th Street, 7 Sioux City, Iowa, 51103. And thank you to our sponsor, St. Augustine Indian Mission, Minnebago. Please join us again next Wednesday at 9 p.m. for another round of questions and answers. Until then, stay curious, stay faithful, and keep your light shining and keep those questions coming. For now, I'm Father Mark Sorry, host signing off. Wishing a great week ahead. May Almighty God bless you, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.