Build at Danville fbc

Resting in God's Faithful Love: What Psalm 25 Teaches Us About Trust, Waiting, and Being Changed

• Danville fbc • Season 1 • Episode 33

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What if the most powerful prayer you could pray right now is not 'fix my situation' but 'change me'? David did not ask God to remove his enemies first. He asked God to teach him, shape him, and make him know His ways. That shift in prayer changes everything. Are you trusting God with your salvation but quietly trying to manage your own transformation? God's faithful love does not depend on your performance. It rests entirely on His faithfulness.

Watch Sermon here: https://youtu.be/NY6TPkZ1RRE
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SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Build, a podcast from Danville First Baptist Church. Build is where Sunday's message becomes Monday's conversation. Each episode we dig deeper into what God is teaching us, talk about how it shows up in real life, and help you keep building your faith beyond the weekend. Let's get started. Welcome to Build, the podcast of FBC Danville, where we aim to build on Sunday's sermon, but ultimately build on our relationship with Christ. This week we were still in the Psalms, some are in the Psalms, and we were in Psalm 25. And I mean, I is there I about to say, and it was another good one, but I don't think there's a bad psalm. Right for sure.

SPEAKER_03

Um that one's really good.

SPEAKER_00

It was really good. And if you noticed, uh Kelly is back with us today. Dusty has Upgrade. Yay! Dusty's on his way to church camp with a whole bunch of youth kids. So good luck to him this week.

SPEAKER_02

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

But uh we're gonna keep keep this thing going here. So uh I know we'll get into it. Psalm 25 though, there was I felt was a perfect next place to go after 51. Like there was just so many of the same laments, which the my first takeaway from that was that uh the struggle is not just one and done. Right. And and that's okay. Like it that's it's not good or bad, but it's it's uh I'm it may be reassuring that you're gonna continue to to work through all of these things and continue, you should continue to call upon God for all of the same things and until I mean yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't end.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know, the when I the first time that I really dug into the Psalms and really thought about what they meant, what the you know, those types of things stu to do a psalm series is when I realized like, oh wow, like I I don't talk to God right. You know, I I fluff everything up. I I I I'm not I'm not authentic with in my prayers. Right. I have I have like canned prayers, you know. And what's funny is too, quick tangent, like as Baptists, we can be kind of uppity and critical of the of the creedal denominations of our faith and how they have these, you know, rote prayers and it's just memorization and religious and all that. And it's like, but when you stop and listen to our public prayers, they're all pretty much the same most of the time, um, which is one of the things that we uh guard against and work to break and fix on Wednesday nights, is getting out of the rote prayers. Uh and I get why you do it. Like you're you're in public and you just kind of, you know, Lord, thank you for this day is like a taking a breath to give yourself time to think about what you need to say.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, you know, and I also think this is kind of off on another tandem, too, but like even children when when you need your mom or your dad's attention, like, hey dad, dad, can we, hey dad, can we, dad, can we do this? Dad, hey dad. Right. And how many times do you like, Lord Jesus? We pray and ask Jesus that you will Jesus, hey Lord, hey dad, are you listening to me? Hey dad, like because we're just so about it like that. We're so about us.

SPEAKER_01

I noticed that we do always be bringing the note, but that's I've never known upgrades, told you.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, but it's like you know, we do that in our prayer because I just think too, that's just that maturity, you know, not remember I'm taken away, but like not remembering the covenant that was made. Yeah, and we don't, you know, we're just not remembering it's not it's not about us, it's right, it's always about him. And but we're like that child mentality, hey Lord, dear Lord, right, Jesus, Jesus, will you help? But hey, hey dad, dad, dad, dad, you hey, look at me.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly, exactly. As you said that though, it made me think uh I had a youth a month or so ago after a prayer service mention this kind of like an observation they had made that they were praying, praying with some some older men in the church, and you know, not that they were knocking their prayers, but you would you would give a specific prompt. And he said every single one of them would start and pray for the like they may have already prayed, but they would like had to go through their rote before they ever got to the actual thing because like because we become right creatures of habit, really, is what it is. Right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I mean, we're not great at communicating all the time with each other, exactly, much less with the infinite, invisible creator of the universe. You know, we struggle with that sometimes, but for sure. But on the Psalms, like I, you know, you notice that authenticity, and the thing that jumps out to me, and it does it every single year that we get back into it, is how many of the psalms are lament psalms and how terrible we are at lamenting in our modern society. We're terrible at it. And I think it is one of the biggest downfalls and biggest holes in our faith and in our walk with Christ is that we don't lament. And people and I I I think it's for a lot of reasons. I think part of it is the you know, pull yourself up by the bootstraps mentality, be tough mentality. You know, it's that's the fear of being vulnerable because that makes you exposed to being hurt. It makes you weak, and you can be harmed if you're weak and and all that. And I and I get that. And and and to be perfectly honest and on the front end, like nobody likes a wine bag. Like, you know what I mean? And that and that's not we don't want to be lamentors that are whiny, right? But it's okay to actually go to the depths of of subjects that are difficult and hard and that you're walking through. And I fully believe that often the reason people have trouble grieving and healing and dealing with the hardest parts of life is that we don't give ourselves time to grieve and lament and we don't express it. We cover it up with platitudes, we cover it up with, well, you know, it's for a reason and all these cliches and all that stuff. And man, I'm telling you, from my own personal journey, the times that I have gotten raw and honest and explosive and depths of the soul emotional, not boo-hoo-hoo emotional, like depths of the soul emotional with God are the times I've on the other side of that I've come out different, healed in a way that I I couldn't have otherwise been had I not expressed that deep, deep lament of my soul of God, where are you? God, when are you gonna do something? God, I hate this. God, I blew this, and I'm so, so sorry that I was so bad at this, that I was such a bad example, such a bad example at Basseter, all the things that that can come from lament. And I I I have to be careful when I preach through a series on Psalms because I'm drawn to the Lament Psalms because I was so I still am not good at it, but I was so bad at it for most of my life. Bad at just feeling period, much less being able to express sadness or disappointment or hurt or shame or any of those things. And so, you know, to be perfectly honest, uh summer in the Psalms every year is absolutely cathartic and and and therapizing for me. Like it brings health to me, and I hope that it does to others. That to see that that King King David struggled. Right. There's all these other like it's okay, not not whiny, not curl up, call up, you know, curl up in the corner, being worthless to your family and your church and society. It's not what I'm talking about. Right. Talking about being authentic about what you're walking through and trusting the God of the universe to walk through that with you, to carry you through that with you. And there's just a power and a depth of intimacy that is there and only there. And if you don't go there, you never experience that beautiful part of God.

SPEAKER_03

And you seek Him through your prayers and you ask things, not not like help me. You it says in verse uh four of Psalm 25, it says, make me to know your ways. That's like you're making me. Make me, mold me, shape me, uh-huh. Not me. Not not help me, help me, which we need that. Right. Lord give me the happy meal toy that I want my heart. Right, right. But but make me that that's that's saying you do what you need to do. Right.

SPEAKER_02

Because I don't even really know what you need to do. I just know you need to do something. Right. Because I ain't doing it right.

SPEAKER_03

And that's a har that's hard to pray because that's hard to get real with in in your own heart.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So so quickly on Psalm 25. Psalm 25 is is a uh chiastic uh poem, a prayer, and it's also a I just lost the word, just completely lost it. It's an ABC prayer. Acrostic, thank you. Uh just when your mind goes blank, right? So it's an acrostic. So as you're going down the verses, in the Hebrew, each first word uh of each verse would be the next letter in the Hebrew alphabet, except it breaks pattern uh down about three-quarters of the way down, repeats the R, what would be our R, uh twice, skips over two letters. But for the most part, and even in verse two, I didn't talk about this yesterday because you can't talk about everything in a sermon, uh, or it would be even longer. Uh but verse two, you actually have to go to the second word to get B. So it starts with God, and then the second word starts with the B. So it's messy all over, and it just fits the messiness of the psalm. David is lamenting his own sin. He's lamenting uh the difficulties of living in a broken world because of sin. He's lamenting his enemies who are coming after him. He had enemies before he was king, he had enemies while he was king, some of them at his own making, some of them not. Um, and and it's just difficult.

SPEAKER_03

Some of his own family.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, his own sons, um, you know, which was definitely his own fault.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And sometimes those enemies, the ones that are your own fault, maybe he hurt even the worse. Right. Yeah. Um, and and I think that's part of what he's confessing, is that this is some of this is truly my fault. And so he's lamenting his sin. And uh in the in the chiastic form of the of the prayer, you know, he's got this part leading up. It's like a a chiastic form is like like a bullet point, bullet point, bullet point to this point, and then you work your way back mirroring what you've talked about up here. And he starts with disgrace, he kind of ends with disgrace. Uh, he has one more thing that ends, but we'll get to that next week. But we only went through the first seven verses because as I'm studying, as I'm studying, I'm taking notes, I'm taking notes, and I'm like, we ain't getting through this to this week. I'm not even gonna try this time.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think that you're gonna get through it next week either.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I actually thought about that.

SPEAKER_03

It might be it because it there's just such, I mean, because as I'm like reading this, I'm like, I can't, man, this was good. I can't wait till next week.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, there's no way that middle part can be its own sermon for sure. And that may be the way the Lord takes it up. I mean, eight through ten. That's all the way to 14. It's just right.

SPEAKER_03

That's good stuff. And yes, and then you got the rest of it. I mean, like, there's no, I don't, I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

You could so so the question is once you realize, okay, we can't go through this whole thing in one sermon, uh, where do you stop? And why do you stop there? And what is the point? I've I've told you guys this before. I've never said it really publicly, but that is always the question in my mind. That's when I know the sermon is ready, when I know clearly what the point is. We can get up there and and and I can, you know, expository preach several verses, and that's gonna be good. Just right going through the verses is going to be good. Like that, you're gonna something's gonna hit someone somehow, somehow. But I always try to have a point to a message. And we may make 50 points, but we want to make a point over and over and over and over so that when we walk out, hopefully it sticks with us longer than the parking lot is is the is the hope there. Uh and and so I was like, all right, Lord, well, where are we going? Where are we going? And I'm like, what really is the point of this of this psalm? And really it's that without the faithful love of God, I don't have any hope. So that's what changes everything. When I when I believe in that, when I trust in that, when God acts upon that, when God's when God shows up and and demonstrates his covenant loyalty to his people, that's when everything changes. And in my own life, when I rest in the faithfulness, the faithful, steadfast, unchanging love of God, that's where everything works. That's where the power is, that's where the joy is, that's where all the fruit of the spirit is. All of it is because I'm resting in the love of God. The true love of God is where the peace is that surpasses understanding. And whenever I'm operating in my strength and my willpower and my energy and my wisdom and all of that junk, it sucks. Like I'm so bad at life apart from when God works through me. Uh and so that's the beauty of this psalm. So that's what we stopped at verse seven and really camped out on the chesed of God. Uh, if you need to know what that looks like, it's right there. Um actually it's right there, right to lift, not left or right, Hebrews right to lift. Uh, and it's it's the uh the steadfast covenant, faithfulness, faithful love of God. We we have all these different adjectives to explain it in English. It's one word in in the Hebrew, chesed, and um that's where we camped out. That God has a covenant with his people that he has promised to uphold, that he will dwell with them, that he will be with them, that he will love them, that he will forgive them, that he is merciful and gracious and slow to anger, faithful to give blessings to thousands of generations. Like that is the covenant that we can trust in. And and thankfully, Daniel is not powerful enough or bad enough to break that or mess that up, thankfully.

SPEAKER_03

I thought you did a beautiful job too of of reminding us where those are all found in scriptures about the about the covenant that God did first with Abraham, that that God himself walked through that. And I'd I'd kind of, you know, you forget things and you're like, oh my gosh. Yeah. And then it just is a big deal. It is a big deal. But like some we need that re reminding. And then it also uh listen, all that is just it's the reminder that this whole book is about the one that the hero of of Jesus, the rescuer of Jesus, the the promise sign. Like that's what this is about. It's never about us. But we sometimes want to make it about us, but it's not to you, oh Lord. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

It is important that to remember that that that the covenant first started with God. And and I I think probably uh uh it might be not uh understood the importance of that. Like I think people sometimes know, like, oh it's it there's a covenant, and and most often that just gets I think placed on the Israelites and everybody kind of focuses on that that was to them. But no, number one, no, that's to every follower. Uh and and the importance you pointed out, like that normally that would have like that was a a normal thing to have happened so much so that there was a proper way to do it, but it was usually a covenant between two people. Right. One person had a responsibility, the other one had a responsibility. Right. And if either one of them broke it, right, but the covenant of God is something that man can't hold and so wasn't even involved in the cutting of the covenant. Right. That it was God alone, so everything rests on him. And like it just everything makes so much more sense and and this greater understanding of what relationship, what what what this following looks like when you fully understand that from the very like he laid it out so purposefully that it all falls on him, he's behind it all. Because it's all for his glory. I am going to do this. I'm and and then and then we see it fulfilled by one perfect God man to to to fulfill it all. Yep. Like it it's you know, like you like can't make it up. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03

Well, and it's so crazy because you're right, it's so simple. Why why do we struggle? All we have to do is rest in him. Like that's it. Like that just abide in the vine. Yep. Abide in the vine. Nothing else is our responsibility. Yeah, he does the sanctifying, he does, he does the saving, the sanctifying, he does all of that. But our sinful nature is just a yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I'm getting getting ahead a little bit to next week, but the key to staying there is in the next few verses that we get to. There's there's two keys in the next few verses, which is what we'll we'll get on next week. Um, but you know, we we don't want to stay in those two keys. We want we want it to be us, we want to grab the reins. Like, okay, I'm waiting on you, God, but I can see this thing right there in front of me that I can grab and take a hold of. I can do something about that. And and I'm not saying we shouldn't do things, I'm saying we shouldn't do things apart from the will of God.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That that waiting. Yes. The waiting. It's it's I say it often, like the waiting is the hardest part, no matter what it is. Like we have dear friends right now waiting on medical answers, right? Right. And that's that's harder than knowing. Maybe sometimes that's harder than knowing that you have a terminal illness. It's like at least if you I I know what I'm fighting, I know what I'm facing, but the like the up in the air, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting is excruciating on things.

SPEAKER_03

I remember a long time ago, I don't know, it's probably about five years ago. You you did a Facebook post. You would do this a lot um several years ago, but you would put some random question out there like, what do you regret the most in your relationship with Jesus or like in your discipleship? And I remember thinking, not waiting for God's best and taking it into my hands. That goes like Abraham and Sarah, I feel like are always such a great example of that. She, as being a woman, you know, sees a an answer for her husband and thinking that she's doing the right thing and and actually hurts.

SPEAKER_02

I know God said he and I would have a a son, but there's the percy option right there. Right. Maybe he meant maybe he meant have a son with her. Yeah, you know, and that'll that'll be good enough.

SPEAKER_03

And didn't wait for God's best, therefore entered a whole nother sin that affected. And like you said, this that rippling effect of sin and how it doesn't just affect right here, it keeps going and going, and we're still Satan always convinces us that our sin isn't going to have the ramification.

SPEAKER_02

It's only, even if this goes bad, it's really only gonna kind of bother you, and you can handle that. That's okay. And that's never the case. It always takes you further and costs you more than you thought it was going to. Always. And it always affects more than you thought it was going to, and it always affects the people most that you don't want it to the most. That's what that's what it does.

SPEAKER_03

And again, here's David teaching us, you know, how to ask God to teach us his paths. And David knew he was going to be king when he was young, but and had all these opportunities. And you mentioned that, all the opportunities he had to kill Saul, but I think about that.

SPEAKER_02

Like in that cave, I'm telling you, man, I'm slitting Saul's throat. This is it. He's he's put him in my hands. Obviously, God has delivered this man into my hands. Obviously, and I can go be king. I can get out of this cave, I can like stop with the running and the living like a vagabond. Like, I can go to the Dad Gum castle, man, to the temple. I'm just gonna go build a temple. It's gonna be awesome. Like, see you, Saul, bro. Like, you should have done better. Sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

But he didn't, he didn't, and in that whole story, though, it's so great because then he even goes out and proves I'm the better man. I didn't even have to kill you to prove to everybody here. And it's not even me, it's it's God because he's placed you as king, and I'm gonna honor him by honoring you.

SPEAKER_02

Which like the underlying what's the underlying truth of that? That judgment isn't what brought the most glory. Mercy was.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that gave me chill bumps, Daniel.

SPEAKER_02

Um David walks out, say that again. David walks out and says, See, I could have killed you, but but but that wouldn't have brought me as much fame and glory as saying I could have killed you, but I didn't, because you're God's king. Because you're God's. Until you're not God's king, then we'll see. But right now, you're you're the man God put in place, and I don't get to usurp that no matter how bad you treat me. I'm gonna show you mercy and grace. Like it is David. In those moments, when David gets it right, he is he is a picture of Christ. Right. And what Christ has done for us is so beautiful when you when you see those things. But you know, I'm gonna chase you. A little bit of a I may derelish right here, Josh. I'm gonna chase a little bit of a theological tangent here. Um, and and I I hesitate to even throw the word out because it's so charged that people may not even hear what I say after that. But you know, you you start really looking at what scripture says, and you start and you think about it, and you pray about it, and you mull on it, and you meditate on it, and it's it's like so God walked through that covenant all alone. God clearly said, I'm gonna save who I'm gonna save, and I'm gonna keep them saved, and that's all there is to it. That sounds a little bit like a certain doctrine that people like to not like, but it sounds pretty scriptural, you know. It does. And the more I study scripture, the more I see the beauty in most of the five points. I'll say it that way. But there's a lot of truth in that thing, and there's a lot of beauty in that in that doctrine, in the doctrine of Calvinism. I'll just say it. Um there's a lot of there's a lot of power in resting in the sovereignty of God. And the and the older I get, and the more I'll think about it, I'm like, I got did I have agency? Did I have choice in what I to a degree? But there were so many things out of my control that brought me to the moment of salvation. Sure. So many things. I I didn't get saved because I wanted to. I got saved because God chose me. And I don't know why. I can't explain that. I can't explain why God would choose me. I think he chooses those that he knows will choose him. I think.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But I don't even really know what that means. Right. But but the older and I hope wiser I get, and the more I hope I'm getting closer and closer to Jesus and really seeing who he is and experiencing him, him for his goodness and his grace and his glory, the more I'm just resting in the beautiful sovereignty of God.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That he saves, he sanctifies, and he glorifies. And I look forward to being glorified. I'm tired, frankly, of being sanctified. I'll be honest. Sanctification is a war. It's an absolute war. That's the way scripture describes it. It's I'm warring with myself in sanctification. Uh, but he's gonna keep me in that, and then he's gonna glorify me either when he calls me home or when he when he comes back uh to restore things uh to its rightful place. And I just find peace in that, you know? I just find peace in that, and I just I want to rest right there in that truth that I know I know God is in control. I know God is holding me, I know God is keeping me, and I know God has grace and mercy that surpasses the darkest depths of my soul that I wish I could take a spoon and rip out. But I can't. Yeah. But but one day he's he's going to gently remove it. He's already done it in in eternity. Yes. But one day I'm gonna experience it in reality, in experience.

SPEAKER_03

And you said something like war with yourself, and that's what it is. It's war with yourself. But we want to focus that war on other people. Yes. And like you preached about that, I don't know, several months ago about we have a common enemy, it's not each other. Yeah. We we forget that.

SPEAKER_02

The enemy is the enemy and it's not the other people. Right.

SPEAKER_03

And we forget that sometimes.

SPEAKER_02

Sometimes, like daily.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Just drop just cut me off in traffic, and uh and we become enemies real fast. Right.

SPEAKER_03

And then then sanctification happens, and then you have that inward battle within yourself.

SPEAKER_02

And have to repent for the things I've said and the things I've gestured and how long I was on the horn, a little too long. Gotta be sanctified, you know, all the things. I I make fun of it because really it's uncomfortable how how bad we are at being holy and following the good things of God and focusing on the things of God. So yeah, we I I made that point late in the sermon yesterday that that uh we sometimes trust God for our salvation, but we act like sanctification is is ours. Our responsibility. I love that too. And there's it's not it's it's not our I mean, it is our responsibility to to do something, but it's not our responsibility to be sanctified. We can't sanctify ourselves as well.

SPEAKER_03

We can only respond to what's well and you even said this is what I what I really appreciated, but it should motivate us to do well for him from from victory, not for victory. And I I liked that because I sometimes I'm thinking, sometimes I get frustrated because I'm like just saying you're sorry is not enough. Like, y'all, we have to be better. Right. Like we have to be better because like what are we doing here? We can acknowledge things, but if we're not murdering it, if we're not removing it from our life, we're not honoring him, we're not honoring the sacrifice.

SPEAKER_02

We're well, I think that's flippant. That's what James, I think that's what James means when he says faith without works is dead. That that you show me your faith, uh, you show me your faith by works, and I'll show you my works by faith. I say that backwards, but you know what I mean. Yes, yes, yes. And he's not saying that you can save yourself, he's saying that there's no real effectual purpose and and and effect in the world unless you are living this out. Like it doesn't actually mean anything unless you're living this out. If you're not working your faith out in love, then it is not changing anything in your life. It's just words.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Just like like testimonies. I mean, you hear this all the time, but I always think of yours when you're preparing for a sermon, like here, God has had this calling on your life and you're preparing for a sermon, and then the gift of conviction. I love that, Dusty. You said that the conviction is a gift, comes upon you. You're like, I can't preach a sermon until I go take care of this friendship.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Until I go confess this that I did years ago and make this right. You share in a private conversation if I actually shared that in public. You shared that in public.

SPEAKER_02

I have okay. I don't remember if I I was gonna share it again if I had not.

SPEAKER_03

No, you had you shared that in public, but you didn't share it again. Somebody might not have heard that. But see, I I try to pay attention to stuff.

SPEAKER_00

But you know, it's it's it's such an interesting thing because because you're right, like in the sense, like I I'm not a big words person, and and there are there's definitely gonna be some cases where you you do need to say those words to that person, but they shouldn't be empty. But like for me, I also will can most often will respond if you just start doing it, doing like treat like if you were mad at me and I'm like, and then you just start being nice, well, then I usually reciprocate that that your actions were enough to make me change the way that I felt about you. You don't have to even tell me that you're sorry. I just think that you the way you now are treating me shows me that you didn't mean that or whatever, whatever the thing is.

SPEAKER_02

So what what about the question of you know, when it comes to God is responsible for our salvation and our sanctification? Like what area is it hard for you not to grab the handles of of your sound sanctification, of your of your walking this thing out in your life? Is there an area that jumps out to you other than just like all of them?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I'll tell you, right now I'm a part of a women's Bible study and we're doing about identity and where our identity comes from. And this has been a a struggle for me because you're as a I don't know how as a woman, your identity comes from like how like you're mothering your children, um I mean, in the workplace, your status at at your job, people pleasing, making sure that you're liked, like it's it's been really hard. So just the sanctification process of I can't, I only need to worry about pleasing Jesus. And if that means that I'm pleasing him, but I'm not doing what this person expects me to do or wants me to do, that's okay. Yep. And I just have to be okay with that. So that sanctification is is has been hard.

SPEAKER_02

You know, I I made the confession last week in in prayer service um about the fact that God has convicted me of being a peacekeeper in the in my own life a lot, but here recently there's just been bam bam bam bam bam several things, several things that I've I've worked through, things from a long time ago, things from right now, and all just I had I had and have and and am working through breaking an identity of peacekeeping. Like that's you could really kind of boil it down to that, to a prideful point of idolatry, really. And what I mean by that is I want to kind of uh work that out a little bit. Like it's okay. I I can take it, put it on my back, I'll carry it. I can handle that. What can I handle? I'll do it for you, I'll fix it, I'll serve, I'll do, I'll go, I'll do, I'll do, I'll serve, I'll do, I'll go. And all the while pretending like not handling this issue or saying this thing that needed to be said that was truthful. And I'm not talking about I'm talking about multiple areas of my life, multiple situations, multiple relationships, multiple events, and calling that grace. Not doing what I'm supposed to do, not saying the thing I'm supposed to say, and all that, acting like that's mercy and grace. But really, what it was and is when I do that is cowardice. Yeah. It's cowardice. And and when you're not operating in the spirit, you're fearful and you're and you're and you have cowardice. When you're operating in the spirit, you have power and you have cur courage. Courage comes from, I mean, to be in courage is to have the spirit in you. That's literally what the word is. You're walking in his confidence. Walking in his confidence. And and you're walking in his true grace and in his true mercy. Um, and I just I said it last week out loud, and it was a watershed moment. I was like, that's it. I am done being a peacekeeper. I am going to be a peacemaker. And it's gonna be uncomfortable some days, and that's fine, but I can't carry this idol of peacekeeping one more step or one more second. And had to confess that to the Lord that that really has been a two and a half year journey of him breaking me of that pride of being able to carry all the things for everybody. And it's, you know, it goes back to the sermon that you've already referenced. When when we just when when the Lord gave me that and distilled that down for me, source, enemy, and others. I have the tendency, I'm pretty good at not making other people the enemy. But I'm really, it's really easy for me to try to be the source for everybody. And that's what peacekeeping is for me. That's what I mean when I say I'm trying to be the source for all things. I'm trying to carry things, do things that aren't mine to carry and do. Right. Uh it's that I can be a resource, but I am not the source.

SPEAKER_03

And at the end of that, probably somewhere surfacing is like we do that, or we tend to do that because we want people to like us or come to us with things or bring things to us.

SPEAKER_02

And we want the very thing that God is sitting there waiting to give us.

SPEAKER_00

I can I can just through love. Yeah. Real love. Well, and I I can uh as an observer see how that's probably compounded for you because anytime you find yourself in a place of leadership, people automatically want to come to you and put things on you so that uh number one, they don't have to carry them. Like now this this is your thing, and or what can you do for me in some some way. And that's yeah, I mean, for the becomes more than you than you can than a person can handle. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Which let me do a disclaimer real quick for Daniel. We're I don't think he's saying, don't dump on me and don't come talk to me. That's not it. Absolutely not. You're you're confessing and admitting just that like you sometimes try to do that in your own might and in your own strength and in your own power.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, not through the power and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit's presence in your today is an is an easy example, an easy physical example of that. Okay, it's an easy physical example of that. Now, I'm talking about more on the relational spiritual side, but it but it plays out physically in your lives too. Like we had we had issues this morning with transportation, with the with church and all that. And I'm telling you, without without a second's thought, without a moment's notice, without a shadow of a doubt, I would have jumped in and just fixed that myself, maybe up until last week, but definitely with with up until the last uh year or so where I have where the Lord has been breaking me continually. I've said it in on Wednesdays numerous times. The Lord has been breaking me of pride just continually now for like two and a half years, like really working on that. Like not the not like pride, right? The quiet pride inside of us that we don't talk about. Yeah, I did that. Exactly. Yeah, I yeah, I can take care of it. I took care of that, you know, like like I would have had if I'd have jumped in the car and fixed it today. Right. But it also would have been completely to the detriment of my health and of those that are my primary responsibility. Right. Yeah. Right. Which is why the answer was no, no matter how bad that insecure, unsafe kid that just wants a hug and to be loved and accepted inside of you goes, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. Then somebody will like me and say that I'm good. Right. And then I work hard and that and that I have value.

SPEAKER_03

Right. But then instead, like but maturing in leadership and knowing that, hey, you're the adult, like ponder this, pray over it, and I know that God's gonna give you a solution. And so not asking you to do this, but like I trust your wisdom.

SPEAKER_02

And and that's so but that's an example because you we, you know, you first brought me the information, and like I'm glad that you did.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_02

I don't want you to not bring that to me. I'm not sure what you're doing. Right.

SPEAKER_03

And I wasn't asking for you to, I was just saying, hey, this is what's going on. You're you're we I'm saying adult because Josh, I've joked about that. Like, when did we become the adults that are responsible for things?

SPEAKER_02

Like you look around, you're like, who's surely my mom and dad felt more adultish at this age?

SPEAKER_03

Surely like when I think that all the time. I do too.

SPEAKER_02

I'm still waiting to grow up one day.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And when we look around, we're like, who who is the adults in charge? And we're like, we are.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, really?

SPEAKER_03

Because I don't feel like that. Anyway, so sorry.

SPEAKER_02

No, it's true. But you know, uh, you know, so yeah, it's not the pastor going, you know, please don't bring me your hard stuff. No, no, it's a privilege to walk through the hard things of life with people that you love and care about. You know, it that's not that's not the thing. Like that's actually part of my calling is to is to walk through that with you. That's part of what a shepherd, a pastor does. You're good at that. Well, stop it.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you are you're gifted in that, and that's that's a good thing. So, but it but thank you for sharing with us that with that comes that that weakness in you of of trying to carry it all on your own.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, be a be a peacekeeper or a people pleaser. There's all types of words you can put on on top of that.

SPEAKER_03

And or given grace. Like that's that was a way to like you pretty fine to that. You know, like I'm giving them grace.

SPEAKER_02

That even sounds spiritual.

SPEAKER_03

It does sound spiritual, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like I'm all I'm just a half step away from being Jesus. I'm giving them so much grace and mercy. No, Jesus probably would have said, you know what, this isn't good or right, and we need to do something different. Uh-huh. That's what he might have done, and that's beneficial to my kingdom, right?

SPEAKER_03

Because he is about kingdom building, that's right. And sometimes we get about I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Ego building.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, that's a good way. Ego building. I was yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I I think to to answer your question, if I can make this make sense, I tend to be uh better at not doing things. And and and I I struggle in the being obedient to do the things. So like yeah, if you you can task me like don't I just well not doing the bad things? Yeah, not yeah, I cannot do those things. That's totally easy. But if you if I'm supposed to do something, it was just kind of like what you're saying, if I'm supposed to do something that's beneficial or helpful, but it's outside of what's natural or comfortable, so I struggle uh dealing with that and being obedient in that area. Um you know, like I see it this this sounds like it's that it's uh more of a a physical thing, but it it that's just the surface of it that like I'm uh in in probably the worst shape of my life. You know, that was that's that's where I am. And I s and I say that physically, but that that seeps it seeps into your spiritual because like if I can't be uh if I can't take care of this body, you know, how good am I being at taking care of of my of my soul and and and feeding that? I I if I put in junk here but there's the the difference is I can stop putting in the junk but then it just stops there. And that's not where it like it then it becomes So stopping the negative but not doing the positive. You know, okay, well I'll just quit I can quit eating the junk, but I'm not gonna get off my duff and do anything to go the opposite direction. Right. I just like I'll just stay in this this one spot. I can maintain this.

SPEAKER_02

I'm heading off the cliff and I can hitch the brakes, but I'm not gonna go back the right direction. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

So that's and I see that into the the spiritual I can I can I can quit ingesting things that are that are detrimental to my psyche and to my that are gonna deteriorate my spiritual well-being, but then it's harder to then put in the good.

SPEAKER_02

Um another question we had uh uh that I have um going along with with what I've been talking about, really people pleasing, peacekeeping, all those types of things. That's why God's Hasid, His faithful love is so it's why it means so much to me, uh, is because when I operate from that, I'm not afraid to let people down for the right reasons. But when I'm operating in my own strength, that probably is my greatest fear is to let people down in my own strength. And when I know that God's faithful love is always gonna show up for me and that he gives me my identity, and that he is going to lead me and guide me and teach me and make me, as David says, uh, and he is clearly telling me no, because of this reason or that reason, it doesn't matter if the thing is good. It's not that the thing is bad, it's that the thing is not right for you right now. Whatever it may be, I could give a hundred examples. Yeah. But when I'm operating out of my identity of being a child of God, who you are, and that I can trust his faithful love, then if what he's calling me to do lets people down, I can do that. But if I'm operating out, I can't, I can't do that. That is my weakness in my uh in my makeup, in my personality, in my in my flesh. That's that that's my weakness. And you know, it's it's a weakness that like it's a strength and a weakness, like all things. Right. The same thing that motivates me to serve and love and care is also the same thing that is your weakness that drives me to do that for my own pride and my own ego's sake, my own, my own kingdom instead of instead of God's kingdom.

SPEAKER_03

So um and that goes back to like the very beginning of the psalm about waiting, yeah. And trusting and waiting, letting Him take care of those needs, and that's not trying to to fix it. Sure.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. What about what about that? What's the time that's been hard in your life about to wait on the Lord?

SPEAKER_00

So the two bookends of things, um, one of the the bigger decisions that we ever made is when we decided when we k when we knew that we were being called to be missionaries and and I and go to Alaska, uh figuring that out and that was a l that one there was a lot of anticipation and you and like, you know, you're ready to do a thing and it like I'm ready now. And I tend to be like if if I'm if I've decided that we're doing that, I don't have the patience. Like I'm ready I'm ready to go. When when you say it's time to go, I'm ready to go. And so I was ready to go. And you know, there was a lot of things that had to get worked out. And like in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that long. It was like six months. And everything was was done in six months. Um, you know, but there was definitely some times when I I I knew that this is the time to be proactive. This is a time to sit, and then okay, now be proactive again. Like I I you you were you were patient and now I need you to do this. And I I could feel all that. Where it was kind of hard was on the back end when like it was hard to live in Kodiak for is for different reasons, for different for us differently. Like I didn't mind being far away. That wasn't what was hard about it. Um didn't really mind the weather. I didn't mind the weather. So a lot of the things that really bothered most people didn't bother me, but you know, there was there were definitely some the struggles that came along with it. But when it came time, we would always say, this is not it's not easy, and there's so many reasons that it should, this shouldn't work, and it's all because it's all all happening because of God's grace. And we're given the grace for each day for all of the things that took place within that. And that go that can be happening anywhere, but there were more specific things in that. And we would always say if something bad got happened was on us, something was stirring up, like was the grace lifted? You know, and that would always kind of reset us to like no, this is just kind of sucks. Until it got to the point when when then it had it was the grace was lifted, but the time was not right. And it was a it was a different place to be in, a role reversal almost, because Kelly was the one that she was like, this is it. We're leaving today, you know, and I I knew that she was right, that the the the time was was coming. That you know it would it was end. It was at the end with doors closing. But I just I said I hear you, but it's not right. The time is not right. And I wish that it was because I understand that this is greatly affecting you. And I'm not saying that the time is not right because I'm trying to avoid, because I'm trying to keep peace.

SPEAKER_02

I'm trying to avoid it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, just not you're right, it's just not the right time. And that that went on for a year. Yeah, almost almost a year that I I kept like I know, I know, until the day that I knew that the like, okay. That's that it's time. And in a month and a half, like we're sitting here.

SPEAKER_02

You know what I think the the turning point was was the first time that we had a Zoom together, and I said Michaelina's name right in the very first meeting.

SPEAKER_03

I think that was it. That was it. No, I kind of want to speak to that. And I'm during that year, there was so much waiting, but that I think is when really there was so much deep sanctification in my heart that God revealed to me things that I'd never seen in my heart before. Um, because I think sometimes that's that's was taking sin seriously. We just don't want to see things in ourselves. And we hear about it and we know these things, but until you're uh in a situation that you truly have to just lean on Jesus. You have nothing else. Like there's nothing else to give, there's nothing else to do. You've you've made your bed and you have to lie in it. And just opening up and allowing him just to speak to you. And and we had this challenge, um, our second week of Bible study. And it was like spend five minutes in prayer and thank God for the way that he intentionally made you. And I'm thinking, five minutes is a long time to just sit in prayer. And you think five minutes is not, but it is when you're talking about yourself. And then two minutes in, like, I'm thanking God for the way that I feel like, you know, he's intentionally made me, you know, to have like a teaching gift and the gift of encouragement and all of these, you know, the good things. Sure. And then I started two minutes in, I like that was it. And I was like, and Lord, I know that you've created me this way too, but I don't like that about myself. So how do you want me to change this? And like you then all of a sudden you're having this Holy Spirit. You're yeah, you asked the right question, you're having this Holy Spirit moment. But in that that time that Josh is talking about, where he was like, it's not the time. And I'm thinking, but it really needs to be. But I gotta go. Like I'm not in a good place. But me not being in a good good place in my own was the perfect best place spiritually. And that that was when I had like this big shift in my walk with Christ. Just me Kelly didn't like that place, but my soul yearned for it because I had to be still. He he makes me lie down in green pastures, he makes me know your ways, and there's that's the different place. And when that happened, he revealed pride that I never realized that I had my heart, but I'm definitely I was made with this. Um, I'm not gonna say hard-headedness, I'm gonna say strong-willedness to like I'm gonna do, I'm gonna show you. Don't challenge me. Like, I you say I can't. Oh, I can't just show the I'm gonna show you I can, I can outlast, I can outwork, I can outdo. And it was like I'm resting, I'm I'm seeking, I'm waiting, you know, out of the guidance of a of a God-fearing husband of knowing I'm gonna, you know, yield to his wisdom and discernment. And and I'm thinking that's pride, Kelly. Like you are eat up with with showing people, and that's not what you want to be. I remember her coming to the city.

SPEAKER_02

Am I still trying to please man?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, yes, am I still trying to please man?

SPEAKER_00

And I remember her coming and saying, I because she had that moment, like I'll sh like said the words and like I'll show them. And I knew that she would, and then I can't I didn't really have anything, but then after the revelation coming back and her saying God wants to know who am I showing, who am I proving this to? Because he doesn't care to him that I no, I I'd be proving this to another person, and that's not what I'm called.

SPEAKER_02

And is this not true? It's not, I don't know if it's always this way, but doesn't it seem like that you're waiting on on God to do this thing in your life, whatever the thing is, you know, moving back, like new chapter, or even just you know, to move in your child's life or whatever the thing is, or what college to go to, or what relationship to be in. And and you're waiting and you're waiting and you're waiting. And it's like as soon as you finally get to the spot where you go, okay, you're right. Then it's like bam, it feels like off often, like once you finally get there heart-wise, it's that surrender. Okay, that's what I was waiting on.

SPEAKER_03

So so I it's like it's that release, sweet release. Like y'all talk about that in the podcast too, like that sweet release, that's that surrendering. But the thing that gets me is like surrendering pieces of your heart that you don't even know. Yes, that you need surrendering.

SPEAKER_02

Like, how how often do we pray that on Wednesday nights in the confession time, depending on what area we are in in scripture? That Lord, show me where this is a thing in me and I don't even realize it. Yeah, bring it to my mind so I can confess this and turn it over to you because it is it is under my conscious thought and is controlling me, and I don't even know it. Show me that.

SPEAKER_03

And here's here's where that becomes so real. We we do say we say that and and we we read it in scripture and we bring it to the altar, and even still, you're like, okay, show me. And then you're just like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, twitter, like, okay, I don't see it. A lot of times, for me, anyway, it's like a situation has to occur. Like, and you said it's to be punched in the face, or like there it is. Yep, and you need wise people, and I know you're gonna talk about this just about friendship with the Lord or uh the secret counsel of the Lord, like you you need that in your life because that's that's also where God speaks to you and shows you things in your life because you we even we're praying these prayers, but it's I don't want to say it's ritualistic, but it's like we know we're supposed to pray these prayers. Sure. So we do, sure, but we're not actually sitting there praying the prayer.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Sometimes we are and sometimes we aren't.

SPEAKER_03

Or we're not recognizing it. And I can even go back, and I'm gonna throw it way back, and this is a little bit more immature in my faith, but waiting on the Lord for the right relationship in college, young, you know, thinking, you know, everything everything is a life or death decision, and it has to be this way. And then, you know, friendships don't go the way I want them to go, and then you start feeling alone and and and rejected by by certain group, friend groups, and and you don't get the the position on this leadership team that you want, and things start happening, and then then you want rescuing and you want out of that situation and and you go to something that's comfortable, or um, in my case, it was an old high school boyfriend, and you you you do things and you make decisions because you're not waiting on God's best. Right. And if we would just hate, like like you said, that rippling effect that happens because of our sin, because we're not murdering it. I still I love that terminology. Like we're not just like getting it out. We're not not because we're lamenting our sin. We're not taking it serious.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Because when we do wait on him and he does act in our lives, it also ripples, but for the good. Yeah. Right. Right. And it causes more and more good and more and more glory and more and more compounding of growth in the kingdom when he is the one actually working that when we've waited and he's the one actually working through it. So that that rippling effect is good and bad. It depends on which which which one is operating.

SPEAKER_03

So let me let me put this plug in there. If you are a young person and and you don't know like what college you're going to or what job you're supposed to do, or what relationships you're supposed to be in, none of that matters. Like what matters is like you spending serious time in prayer and seeking God and waiting and resting in Him. Everything else will fall into place. Like, don't rush that. Just be patient and wait for God's best. He will show you if you're in the right heart and the right mind. Which we're lean not on your own understanding and all of our ways, acknowledge him, and he will make our path straight. Don't try to fix things, don't try to manipulate situations because you think it's going to benefit you the most. Don't allow people in your life to manipulate you either. Even people that have well-meaning and want best for you, they're still people and we're flawed. I'm flawed. When I'm giving my daughter advice, I always say, but you know what? You talk to Jesus, you have your own relationship with him. I don't have all the answers. Talk to him. And I'm gonna pray for you. This is my advice. You're gonna do whatever you want to anyway. Um, but y'all, when you wait on God, you're never wasting time. You're never wasting time.

SPEAKER_02

No. And along with that, and tying in and back to and maybe tying up, I don't know. Kind of the whole thing that we've talked been talking about today is, you know, we I talked in the message yesterday. David, he he says, he starts with Lord, Lord, you. I'm turning my eyes to you, I'm starting with you. It's you, Lord. And then he quickly says, you know, I got these enemies, they're coming after me. Don't let them, don't let them. So he he he gets in a he gets in a petition pretty quickly, right? But he doesn't stay there long. And then he immediately goes to change me. That that's the that's the that's the prayer of the make me, teach me, show me your ways. Like he doesn't say, change my circumstances. He says, change me. Yeah. And and I think when our prayers shift towards that, I think there's more power in that. I I think it's it's often that we pray about our circumstances when most often we should be praying, God, change me. Change me, change my heart, change my mind, transform my mind, bring my soul closer to you, bring bring in understanding, not physically closer. Uh, just Lord, do the work you need to do in me. That's what I'm in, that's what I'm responsible for. That's what I, in a some sense, am in control of. I can't change circumstances and I can't change people, and I can't change hearts. Only God can do those things. Those I have to wait on God to do all of that. He does all of that, but but I can ask you right now, God, change me, me. Teach me, make me, show me.

SPEAKER_03

And that's when it's about us.

SPEAKER_02

That's the way it's supposed to be about us. Yeah, is the is desiring sanctification, right? Desiring him to make us, shape us, mold us, use us.

SPEAKER_03

Be motivated to change for his glory. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

But that comes back to what I said my problem is, is that I will pray that in the moment, earnestly mean it. And then when he says, Okay, well, here you go, I respond with, yeah, but I just I'd really rather you do it a different way. Right. Yeah. Could you change me some other way? Could you do this easier? Yeah, it's easier. That's always like that's easier, can a hard.

SPEAKER_02

Could you do this more comfortably? Could you not, you know, sounds like you're required to do some stuff.

SPEAKER_00

And I just wanted you to give me something. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03

We all have agreements, but I still, and I can say this publicly because Stuart Creamer has shared this publicly. He prayed and prayed, prayed for an opportunity to share Jesus with someone at college. And the very next day, that kid asked him, Hey, you want to go have lunch with me? And Stuart's like, Yeah, sure, man. Where are we going? He said, Long John Silvers, and and Stuart hated Long John Silvers. And Stuart's like, nah, I'll meet you some other. I mean, like, we'll do it some other time. And then later, God's saying, You prayed for this opportunity. I gave it to you, but because you didn't like where that guy was going, you didn't, you didn't go. And I've it's always stuck with me because like we all have those stories. But how many times has have you prayed and asked? And God kind of like starts showing you, and you're like, hmm, nah, uh maybe how about something else?

SPEAKER_00

Right. This what I've said a while ago about all the things in the waiting and the going and the moving and coming back and all of that. Ultimately, that was I don't know, however, 14, age 14 to 40 is, whatever that math is. That was me also uh trying to do things in my own power. I knew what God wanted me to do a long, long time ago, and then took wanted the older I got and the more mature I was, wanted I needed to take things into my own hands so that it looked like what I sorry y'all, that was kind of weird. The thing just quit recording. Um but we're back. And we're back. What I was saying is that like I things weren't happening the way that I thought they should look. So I started doing things in my own power to do things, and then what resulted is it looked like I ended up at a going a whole different direction. And it took, it took that whole situation and carving out eight years of our life to bring what actually I was called to, what he had put upon me that many years ago. And so, like, I think with all in in all of that, I was in, I was waiting, but I was waiting from that moment to do the thing, and then in the waiting, I got lost. But I'm saying all that to say he was faithful to see me through and eventually drive the path back. Brought you back in rock. Now you're ready. Here, yep, and now you're ready.

SPEAKER_03

And none of it was wasted because in the waiting, whatever it is, he is molding, he's teaching, he's showing you things, he's revealing himself more and more to you. Um, me, I mean, like I you can go back and see all the lessons that you've learned. I see that in your life. In the waiting of becoming a pastor, like 18-year-old Daniel Morris, there's no way, if anybody ever told you that, even though your grandparents said, or you know, for a long time, this boy's gonna be a preacher. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02

No way, but no part of me believed that.

SPEAKER_03

But in in the waiting, he is steadfast and he is faithful. He he's just unfailing and he hasn't failed us yet, and he he won't. Even when we don't like it, even when our circumstances aren't what we want them to be, he is still faithful because he's working in and through those circumstances and he's gonna be glorified one way or another. We can either be a part of it or we can resist it.

SPEAKER_02

He's gonna do it.

SPEAKER_03

He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. Won't he do it? Yeah, he will do it. Yes, he will. Yes, sir. Because if the tomb is empty, anything's possible.

SPEAKER_00

Hope that's not copyrighted. Oh um in the little break that we took to get the audio back on, uh it was mentioned that this could go more than than the two weeks. So uh we may be here for in twenty in twenty-five for a little bit longer, and I think that's perfectly okay if we are. Uh but any other thoughts as we kind of wrap things up here.

SPEAKER_02

I think I've said enough. All right.

SPEAKER_00

Well, we're glad that you uh have been with us today. And if you've missed uh if you missed the sermon or any other episodes of Build or previous sermons, any of that, you can go to fbcdan.com and you can find links to all of those things. Um we were just explaining to somebody to today that fbcdan.com is the place that you want to go. There's other ways to get a lot of different places, but that is the most clear and concise. Yep. So um utilize the website. Um, that's what it's there for. It also gives you uh information on how to be involved in the comings and goings. Well, that's it for this week's episode of Build. So um utilize that. And if you're not with our hands face, find some place. What we build on Christ lasts forever. And just get out of here. Today's episode encourages you. Share it. Keep the conversation going next week. You can find past messages, upcoming events, and ways to connect at fbcdan.com. Let's keep building our faith one brick at a time. We'll see you next time.