Episode 10 - Rachel Dunford - The Impact Specialist

For years, Rachel hid behind a navy logo - safe, professional, but silent about who she really was. The moment her brand finally reflected her colour, passion and love for her work, everything shifted. She began to show up as herself. Bright, bold, visible.

But appearances can be deceiving. Known for her confidence and sociability, Rachel often battles with social anxiety behind the scenes. Networking rooms, events, even simple gatherings could feel overwhelming, and yet she learned to manage it by becoming more selective - choosing spaces and people that allowed her to feel safe and understood.

Her mask has been the image of a successful businesswoman who has it all together. The truth is less polished. Alongside her work, she has solo parented her two children most weeks while her husband works away in television. It’s a juggle, one that sometimes leaves her dropping balls no one sees. Add in health challenges over the last year and a half, and there have been moments where her business couldn’t run at full tilt - though few would have guessed it.

Rachel rarely talks about her decision to change her name, taking her stepdad’s surname to honour the man who has always been her true father. It’s a piece of her identity that grounds her, woven into her business and her children’s names, carrying the love and stability he has given her throughout her life.

More recently, she’s been exploring the possibility of ADHD - a revelation that explained decades of masking and self-criticism. Realising that not everyone’s brain races at 100 miles an hour has been both painful and freeing. Her speed, her creativity, her productivity - they’re gifts, but they also leave her drained, self-critical and sometimes too hard on herself.

Rachel’s confidence can dip, often tied to her physical performance. Sport and fitness give her bravery, but repeated injuries this year have dented her self-worth. That’s partly why her work matters so deeply: she helps women uncover their true impact through the voices of those they serve, cutting through the noise of comparison and helping them see their worth reflected back with clarity and honesty.

For Rachel, visibility means honesty. It’s about showing the grit behind the gloss: the solo parenting, the exhaustion, the determination to hold onto her values even when the business world prizes noise over meaning. Her story is a reminder that strength isn’t about never struggling - it’s about showing up anyway, and creating impact on your own terms.

Rachel built her reputation as a confident, colourful businesswoman - but behind the brand was a quieter battle with anxiety, self-doubt, and the challenges of solo parenting while running a business. Her journey has been one of unmasking: from honouring her true identity by taking her stepdad’s name, to exploring life with ADHD, to redefining visibility as honesty, not perfection. Today she helps others see the real impact of their work, proving that strength lies in showing up as yourself, not in hiding behind the mask.

https://racheldunfordconsulting.co.uk/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theimpactspecialist/

www.joannawoodphotography.co.uk
www.instagram.com/joannawoodphotography
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-wood-photography-6747a7235/
https://www.facebook.com/joanna.wood.13/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Hi, I'm Joanna, and this is Stories from Behind the Mask, the parts we edit out. Every week, I'll be sitting down with entrepreneurs who've built businesses, created legacies, and dare to show up in the world. And we talk about the stories they usually keep to themselves. The doubts, the wins, the personal challenges, the moments that changed everything. But this is about being seen, unpolished, and completely real. So, if you're ready for honesty and truth, it's time to share today's story from behind the mask. Today's stories from behind the mask. We have the beautiful Rachel Dunford, who was part of obviously my cohort of our mask as last year. Hello, Rachel. Hi, it's so lovely to be here. Thank you for having me. Welcome. Thanks for being here. Um tell us a bit about you.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

What you do, who you are, the usual Oakadoke. I'm Rachel, and I call myself the impact specialist. My work helps other business owners understand the impact that they make through the work that they do. I help them evidence the things that change as a result of the services or the things that they provide to other people. And then I help them use that evidence to make really good, powerful business decisions because I believe that if we think about the way that the work that we do affects other people and we really consider our services from the uh from the perspective of the person receiving that support, we can understand what we do really well, where we're not serving our customers so well, where there are opportunities, where there are gaps in our um in our offer, all kinds of really powerful things. How well we price our services, how well we're communicating what we do to the audiences that need our support. And I really believe that that evidence can help you really fuel your business's growth. And it doesn't require you to worry about the size of your turnover or the scale of your work, because to be perfectly honest, that's the least important thing about what you do in a business. Uh the difference you make for me is much more important, and so that's what I spend my life talking about um all day long. Love that. Um when we met, when did we meet two years ago?

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Yeah, it was uh showtime. Yeah, we were in the front row, weren't we? We were, we were. Realities, very important people. How is your how is your um how has your backstory got you to where you where you are now with with your community? Because I know you said in your last story that um you're very sociable and you feel like that you have to put on like a persona for your work rather than being you, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Yeah, so one of the things about the work that I do is that I've I've got a business community called the Impactful Community, and it's a space for women who run their own businesses who want to be known for making an impact. And I came up with it because I just felt it was the thing I wanted for me in my business, and I didn't think it existed. I wanted to be able to kind of hang out with like-minded women without feeling that I had to shout or show off about you know how much money I'm earning, because frankly, there have been many points over the last 15 years of self-employment when that was not something you'd want to shout about. Um, and so I created my community, which is something that that predominantly meets online, because I felt that there was a gap for that sort of stuff. But the real truth behind it is that I actually find networking really challenging. I um suffer with social anxiety a lot, and it's really funny because people who meet me in real life, like in the flesh, in human form, um never believe that I find socialising intimidating. But the reality is it takes a lot of energy and effort and preparation to get from my safe space at home into a room full of goodness gracious me, like strangers. Oh gosh, no. Like I find that really intimidating. So um I have to really push through that facade, that mask, if you like, um, to be able to host my community. And people still say to me that they are surprised I find it challenging because I can kind of switch on a sort of persona when I have to, but it does require a lot of extra energy. And even though I host my community twice a month and have done now, what are we in March for? Like for a year and a quarter, so that's a lot of times of doing the same process. I still have to psych myself up and I still have to um, you know, give myself the courage and I still have that imposter syndrome thinking nobody's gonna show up. Of course they do, of course they do. I mean, they're paying to be part of a community, but it still feels, yeah, really out of my comfort zone, and that is the reality of of what it feels like for me for sort of running my business. But I have to pretend to keep to keep it being successful, I think. How is how is the community going? Um, really well, actually, really, really well. Um, we just had a lovely campaign for International Women's Day where members were inviting somebody in their network, or you know, a friend of theirs who they thought might share or enjoy our space. And we had some lovely new faces coming and joining. Um, and we are starting, I did my first ever in-person event, which um it turns out is not for the faint-hearted running an event in central London. I mean, yeah, that simply the price of finding a room on its own was enough to make you want to run away and hide. But it was wonderful to bring people together in person, and actually I didn't feel scared on that day, and I think it's probably because I have nurtured the relationship with each of the people in that community. And I can, I can, if you ask me about any of them, I could tell you what they do, what they what they're like, you know, the things that make them excited, the things that they find intimidating, because I um I'm careful that it's not a space that's just enormous for the sake of the size or the scale. It's really slow and intentional in the way that it grows. So we have around 80 members at the moment, which is a not insignificant number, but also it's not huge. Like there are plenty of spaces where you'll find lots more people, but for me, that's you know, it's it's good because it feels like I can get to know every single person and you know, champion them and their businesses and give them a sort of nurturing relationship in yeah, from my perspective. So bringing them together in real life the other day in February was just so joyful. And we had cupcakes. I mean, what's not to like? Lovely people and branded cupcakes. It was a recipe for success. Copycake anyway. My kids were very excited when I came home with the extra 24 that we hadn't managed to eat.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

How do you find um you said about you you you put on a bit of a mask when you're having to to host these communities? Um we talk about masking, obviously masking a lot. Um when you joined me and the unmasters last year, how are you feeling at that at that point in time in your journey?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

I mean, the simple act of going there was a terrifying thing for me because I think I'm kind of so used to working from home. You know, I did it before the pandemic made it fashionable. I was sitting in my front room on my own years before everybody else copied me. Um, and so I've got quite used to spending time on my own. And if you add into the mix the fact that my husband has a job, which means he's away a lot, I often survive long periods of time with no adult company and two kids for entertainment in the evenings. So I got quite guilty of becoming quite reclusive in my in my sort of day-to-day business life because it felt safer and easier. So simply making the journey to come to see you, um, not you personally, but you know, just doing that sort of gesture of going somewhere far away, driving to a different place. I mean, I'm not great at maps, that's another problem. Um, you know, that would that felt terrifying. And I also have this sort of imposter thing about whether I, you know, whoever thought that I'd have a makeup artist or somebody helping with my hair or taking my photographs in that way, that all felt like I was living somebody else's life for the day, but it was such an empowering. You can see behind me, my picture is always there. Um, what such an empowering experience because it there's something comforting in realizing that that you are not the only person who might be experiencing that sort of inner dialogue. Now, I don't want to wish the anxiety that exists in my head or anybody else, but it is a comfort to know that you're not broken and you're not weird, and it's not just a you thing, and it's a thing that you know, it's just how some of our brains work. And um so it was gorgeous in the end to actually kind of be there and be a part of that process and to meet some of the other ladies on the same day who were doing the same thing, but also really empowering because um I'm also all about being authentic, and you know, I stick to the same things that I talk about in my work, and I'm not going to change just because it perhaps isn't the sort of dominant or most popular narrative. Like I just am not gonna shout about turnover and volume and scale of stuff online, even though it seems to be quite a quick way for people to attract potential customers by going, you know, if you do this with me, I can give you this huge transformational numerical result. I'm just not gonna behave like that. So I think it sort of fits well with me being honest and authentic that I took part in being an unmasker, you know, because um I'd rather let people understand who the real me actually is than having to perform or to pretend. I think.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Is there a version of yourself that um that you feel like you have to present before you started your business? Because the name said that you work on a corporate space for a while.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Yeah, um my first well, my first job was in a kind of small business, and it's actually where I met my husband in the in the same office, and then I realised quite quickly that it's not a good idea to work in the same office as your other half. So I went and got a corporate job in London and spent the next few years as a management consultant in a big one of the big consulting houses um in central London and wore the suits and um, you know, had to sort of deal with the pressures of the corporate culture, which never really sort of sat well with me, but I never challenged it and I never put a foot out of line or anything. Um, but I did used to, I mean, I care deeply about the work that I do, and that has never changed through all the jobs I've had, but I used to get told I was too emotional in the office because you might have been able to see how I felt if somebody criticised my work. And I think also as somebody with undiagnosed officially but fairly high chances of ADHD, the kind of rejection rejection sensitivity stuff that kicks in when somebody is offering feedback on your work, which is absolutely fine and to be expected and to be welcomed. And I I would I continue to ask people to give me, you know, commentary on the stuff I do. Um, I often found it very difficult to pretend about how I, you know, because it would hurt me deeply if what I'd done the first time wasn't perfect, which is a ridiculous standard to hold yourself to, but it's what I've grown up always doing, like since a since childhood, I've always felt like I needed to be totally perfect. Um, my parents are wonderful human beings, but both of them had teachers. And so if you grow up in a house where you're, you know, you're living with head teachers, one of whom is your actual head teacher, you have to behave really blimmin' well, like you don't put a foot wrong, and you kind of have high expectations put on your shoulders, and then you put them on your own as well. Um, so I always expect that the stuff I do is got to be really, really good because that's what's always been expected of me. And then when it isn't, because of course I'm I'm just a human, I'm not perfect, then I would find that comment too really difficult to take, which would then result in me being told off for being too emotional, which frankly, these days would result in me telling somebody where to put that observation because bother that.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

I guess it must have been really hard to feel like you had to dampen, not not damp, but make yourself smaller and dampen those emotions.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

And that must be hugely frustrating.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Really hard because it's it's like pretending that you're somebody that you're not. I remember um it's happened in a couple of my previous jobs, and I think perhaps that's part of the reason why I have become so determined. Well, it's too late now, but when I started being self-employed, I was so determined that that was always going to be my future, that I wasn't gonna get a job working for anybody else. I've had a line manager, you know, comment on how my face betrays my emotions and people know the mood I'm in before I've entered a room. And that may well be true, but there's just something about the way that you deliver that so it doesn't sound like the hugest undermining of somebody's confidence or huge criticism. And actually, there's nothing wrong with feeling emotion and being honest about how you feel about a certain situation, as long as you're not causing harm to somebody else. And I think on the whole, I probably never did. Um but yeah, it was really, really difficult because it's not the thing, it's not the done thing to do, is it? You know, to cry when somebody tells you that your work's not perfect. Um, but because I had those like high expectations for myself, it just felt so disappointing that I didn't get it right first time. So now um I mark my own homework and it's all perfect.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Yeah, I I totally get the um whether it was perfectionism when I was younger, but the the criticism, it was like stab in the chest, like really personal, physical, isn't it? Really personal, and I think I've had to keep working with my husband for years, I took things so personally if something went wrong, yeah, that yeah, that's how I've always been so trying to get out of that and try and had to train literally train myself to not take things personally, which has been really hard. Have you have you done that?

SPEAKER_00 14:58

I try, I really try, and actually that is also something that I've struggled with as being self-employed because um whilst there's challenges of having somebody comment on your work when you have a line manager, there's also challenges about when you have uh the sort of way that some people can be quite dismissive of your work when you are not one of their team or one not one of their colleagues. And and I have had to teach myself to distance myself from that feedback, and and partly my husband's helped with that because he he makes TV programmes, and every single second of footage that he captures on a camera will be critiqued thousands of times over in the process of getting it onto the screen when they're editing it and turning whether they use it or not, or whether it actually makes it to the screen, and once it's out there, and so you know, by the very nature of him doing his job, he's going to attract criticism because people have opinions instantly about what he does. And if he allowed that to stop him, he'd never get out of bed. So I kind of we've talked about how I can kind of take that mindset, and almost sometimes I mean it happens less and less now because I think I've found my groove in terms of the work I do. But in previous years, in the earlier days of being self-employed, if I did a piece of work, somebody might have um appointed me to give some advice, some professional advice. I give them the advice, they choose to ignore it, and the old version of me would get really distressed about that being a rejection. The the revised version of me would kind of go, all right, that's your choice. You know, you've paid me for my professional opinion, I've given you it to the best of my opinion, my my best of my uh abilities. If you choose to go off and do something else, don't let me say I told you so when it doesn't work out in the way that I would have, you know, advised you. And that's helped me kind of feel less upset about it. But I think the older and wiser and grumpier and more perimenopausal that I get, the less I care about putting weight on other people's opinions. And there will still be instances day in, day out when I do feel that RSD kick in. Um, but there are only certain people I care enough about their, you know, their opinions are important enough to me that I led it to kind of you know get through that armour. And if a client chooses to completely destroy the work I've done for for them, they paid me for it. It's their choice. Um, you know, we move on, and I try and sort of shed that, but that's partly a it's partly a self-preservation thing. I think it's like a you just have to yeah train yourself to respond differently, don't you? Like you said. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Do you think that I mean we can't change who we are and do you think that not being able to be yourself previous to running your business, that it quite cost you anything, either in in your personal life or or work?

SPEAKER_00 17:59

I'm sure that professionally it did. Like I've been really fortunate that my relationship with my husband is now it's really old, 23 years in, so you know, and he's been with me uh for most of those career moves. In fact, we did meet in my first ever grown-up job. So, like, I don't think I would have changed anything. I think um I wish I'd have been uh sort of spoken up and felt empowered enough to sort of speak more freely when employed by other people. I think being your own boss by the very nature gives you that permission because there's no one else to check in with, and I have become uh bolder and braver as the years go on, and I think that'll probably continue to grow. I think that kind of happens. I think women get stronger and more powerful as we kind of grow into, I don't know, it just takes a while, doesn't it? You know, there's enough things to try and knock us sideways over the years, and you kind of find your grief and then you retire and go and live on a Caribbean island, or at least that's my plan. Um, so I feel like I have created my own opportunities deliberately since becoming self-employed on my own terms, and I've kind of lifted that necessity of being perfect from my shoulders. So, for example, the community is a really good example of that, you know. Um, historically, I would never do something until it was polished and perfect, and literally, you know, you could sell it on a on a in in Harrods, it was, you know, it's absolutely perfect with not a hair out of place. But the community, I came up with the idea, I was miserable because I'd been on my own for such a long time with my husband being away, and I just wanted the connection of like-minded women. So I just talked about it on my LinkedIn or my social media, put a Zoom link out, and got 30-something women taking part in the first meeting, which was ridiculous, but brilliant. And it just proved that there was no website, there was no, there was no funnel. God, I didn't even know what a funnel was at that point. There was no nurturing sequence, there was no kind of, it was nothing, it was free in the first in the first few months, but it it was good enough and it worked, and it had a really good response. Like you got a good really good response. So I realize increasingly so that good enough is that's this is ridiculous sentence I'm going to say, but good enough is good enough, you know. It doesn't have to be absolutely um, you know, meticulously done because you probably miss the opportunity if you if you wait that long. That's what I think I'm realising nowadays.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Yes, and actually you learn more there, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Definitely. Yeah. Where do you think that it started to change even in terms of the way your the way your story started to change and you felt like you were becoming you were being the person that you always were, but without having to hide your layers.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

There was a really practical example of this because when I set up my business, I don't even know what the website was. I went somewhere and used like a pay 25 quid and make your own logo kind of thing and create created the uh very underwhelming branding that um stuck with me for the first, I don't know, too many years of running my business, and it was navy blue. Um, and I don't think I should be navy blue, and I realized that when I met my um amazing branding designer, and she went through a whole amazing process to really understand me and my values and my messaging and what I want people to think about me and how I want to be perceived and seen. And and I showed her a picture of my um my trainers, and they are I mean, I've got terms of them. I really love my my trainers, but there are some neon ones, and they are not you know, not subtle. They've got like bright neon pink and bright neon orange on them. And I sent her a picture of those trainers, and then she came back with this branding um for my business, which was bold and ambitious and bright. And energetic and vibrant, and all the things that are really me like I shouldn't be quiet and navy because it wouldn't work and it doesn't work. Um, and actually, I think from that moment um I started showing up in a way that reflected me much more authentically. Um, I was unapologetic as well because I kind of felt like historically places like LinkedIn were felt really kind of stuffy and navy blue to me, and I didn't dare write a sentence in case somebody, you know, judged me. And it kind of allowed me this sort of freedom to just say, do you know what? I'm gonna use the space I have online to say what I want to say, you know, in my own language, in my own sort of voice, without feeling like I have to talk like a corporate handbook, which is what my previous version was. And I've had it's just how you know it works, it's what's work so much more because I I wear the same clothes as my branding, you know. I am bright, I am in your face in that sort of sense, and I am excited and bubbly about my work, and the navy version of me just didn't ever ever show that. Um, I'm sort of since that point, it's given me a confidence to sort of walk taller and and take my space and um have a view on things because I've always sort of thought, you know, I've got nothing to say, I can't, you know, I can't write an article online, nobody's gonna give a monkeys about what I've got to say. And then I was like, but what gives anybody else the privilege or the right to have something to say? They just choose to own it, and so it's given me that kind of ah, you know what, what's the worst that can happen kind of mentality? And so far, so good.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Is there anything that surprised you coming out the other side? Have you surprised yourself with anything?

SPEAKER_00 23:51

I think I'll probably have surprised myself because the imposter stuff doesn't go away forever, and you still kind of question sometimes whether you should be behaving in a certain way online or talking about certain things. But I still I think what surprises me most is that people that still is still that disconnect between how I feel inside and the courage I feel inside and the way that I might perhaps come across in situations where um I have to be louder and braver. You know, I've taken up chances of sort of standing on people's stages and speaking, you know, not many, but you know, here and there. And the fear and the absolute well, the terror that I uh experience up until the point at which I'm doing it is almost enough to stop me, but just not quite. Um, and I would like that balance to continue to shift, you know. In I I know that nerves continues to be important, but I don't want it to be quite so terrifying, so I'm working on that. Um, but I still think the fact that people people are surprised that I get that sort of sense of doubt or questioning my confidence. That's because I because because now they see this kind of version of me outwardly, and maybe the navy blue bit still exists a little bit inside, the sort of wanting to be a little bit, you know, conform. I I don't like breaking rules. I'm a really like you tell me to do something, I'll do it properly. Like, if you I don't want to park outside the line because you know I might get told off, mightn't I? Um, you know, the naughtyest thing I've ever done in my entire life was when I was a teenager and I stayed in the cinema at the end of a film and watched another film for free. That is literally the extent of my being bad. It's pathetic. We need to we need to fix that. But like I just, yeah, I I still struggle to sort of completely embrace what I want to behave out, you know, outwardly. But I'll get there.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

I think that'll take some uh I think it takes time, and obviously the more you do it, the more confidence you'll get, and the less that inner, inner you, inner old you is going.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Yeah. Caring all you know, caring less about what other people think and being honest. But I still think that it's just this this sort of I feel like my friends in their 40s alongside me are the best versions of themselves. Like we probably think we're living our best life when we're 18 and you know, messing about university, and then we think we are when we're in our 20s and we're you know, our first kind of proper job or whatever. But actually, I don't think you really are living your best life till you get bulshy and perimenopausal. It's the rage.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

We have a lot of that, a lot of that um showing up now as the whole of Rachel online and in your business. How is that feeling for you now?

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Most of the time I don't notice it anymore, because um I've given myself permission to be bright and opinionated, and so most of the time, if things are going okay, then I don't really consciously think about it. If imagine if you know, I don't know, somebody might say that they need to leave the community because and that's totally fine, it happens here and there, people's circumstances change. If you get that sort of moment where you start to sort of go, Oh, oh, maybe I'm not quite smashing it, you know, then you start to doubt yourself. But I have to, I just kind of fight that that instinct that it doesn't take over. Um, and when life gets a bit overwhelming and noisy, then you start, you know, it it you know, you shrink a bit, don't you? But um now my perimenopausal brain's forgotten the beginning of the question. So that's the answer. It's terrifying, isn't it? What was I saying? Absolutely not like at that point just now, it was a blank white page inside my head. Absolutely nothing was coming out of the printer, nothing.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Is there any part of your story that um people don't see? Are you all free and giving way?

SPEAKER_00 28:18

I don't think many people would know about the kind of you know, I I probably wouldn't most people probably wouldn't know much about the kind of backstory, the history, the kind of high standards, the perfectionism, the feeling like I have to be the best behaved child and the school stuff uh, you know, as being something I would wrestle with. I don't think people would know about that. I don't think people would have assumed in the olden days that the Navy Blue Me wasn't the real me because they didn't have any glimpse of anything else. Um so I don't think people today would recognise the version that came before. I think that's true.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

Um Do you feel like that we we as as um in the business space don't have the honest note in conversations that we instead of asking someone what do we do, asking the proper questions so you can actually get to know people on a on not the surface level, but I I actually think my community allows us to do that.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Um, in and that gives me so this sounds probably really contrived, but I I mean not quite there with the most recent joiners because we haven't spent enough time together, but I would genuinely say to you that they are my friends, and that and one of the principles of of our space is that you show up as you're feeling in the moment and you do not have to pretend. And so we have like a drop-in clinic um once a month where you come with something you're wrestling with, like a problem that's been keeping you awake, or you know, something that you don't know the answer to, and it is incredible to watch how somebody shows up honestly and um vulnerably and says what what the thing is that they're dealing with, and how quickly there's this like overwhelming outpouring of love from every all these other brilliant women in the room who have if they don't know the answer, they'll help them find it, and if they you know they'll recommend somebody to talk to, or they'll come up with suggestions, or they'll be searching for it online whilst we're talking talking to help them solve the problem. And I think that's because we are being honest and real and not feeling like we have to perform, because frankly, it's exhausting having to keep that facade up, isn't it? It's exhausting running your business anyway, like it's exhausting running your business, it's thankless at times, it is relentless. And you know, I was talking now just just before we started recording about the sort of the beast of burden that is um that is social media and and and and that responsibility to keep behaving in a certain way and showing up, and and sometimes you just have to sort of go, I'm not doing that for the moment because it's just too much. I think our space, our community is somewhere where I will show up honestly, and and it's really interesting when you're the host as well, it feels like you do have to kind of just pretend that your children weren't absolute monsters and that your house isn't falling apart or that your sister hasn't upset you on a phone, or whatever it might be, before that screen turns on. And I remember one of our drop-in sessions when I was inviting people to sort of put their hands up to say if they had a question that we wanted to help them that we could help them with. Somebody put their hand up and said, How can we help you, Rachel? Like I can see you're struggling today. What can we do to help you? Um, and it made me cry because I cry all the time, but it was just wonderful because they could see through the veneer, they could see that I wasn't actually cooking on, you know, firing on all cylinders that day. Um, and I did need a little bit of the mutual support. Um, and I think the old version of me would have just, you know, stiff up a lip, carry on. Oh fine. Yeah, I'm good, I'm fine. Because if you asked me, I would have, you know, I'd have got really defensive or you know, thought it was a criticism. But actually, um, there's something really freeing about just being open and honest about do you know what I don't have the answers, or I'm not absolutely smashing it at the moment. So, you know, what have you got as a suggestion that would help me? Um it's better than struggling alone, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 32:23

If anyone is listening today, what feels important to you or for you to say out loud um that if someone's listening and they feel like they're hiding behind you know that polished women or they've got a mask they need to take off, or what what would your best advice be?

SPEAKER_00 32:48

You're comfortable with don't remove the mask because somebody thinks because you think you have to, but equally don't wear it because you think you have to. I think don't push yourself to behave in a certain way that makes you uncomfortable. Um and don't do things like don't go from like navy blue to neon pink overnight. Like it's it's not it's a bit like trying to sort of say tomorrow I'm gonna run a marathon, like it's ridiculous. Those those that transformation doesn't happen, does it? So um, you know, just keep pushing yourself a little bit further to see where where that discomfort starts. Get as far as that, get comfortable, and do it again, and you know, keep because it isn't possible to go from hiding to suddenly being visible overnight, that's just not realistic. But it feels good when you are able to be honest and open and real and authentic. It's freeing, it's really freeing.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

And what do you know now that you didn't before? In the past 12 months since since you came into Enmarse and you've had that 12 month journey with all of us, what was it?

SPEAKER_00 34:05

What did you mean that you didn't before about yourself or well just how freeing it can be to not pretend anymore? Um, but also like bother anybody else's opinions of you, like just it doesn't matter. Um the people who are close to you um will love you unconditionally, and anybody who chooses to criticize you as doing it from a place of their own discomfort or their own inadequacy. So um, you know, if you do choose to only wear pink jumpers all the time, but your friends don't like it, well, that's their problem, not yours, you know. Like it's it's a you know, free yourself of the judgment of other people. I increasingly try and do that. I am just getting more, you know, curmudgeonly and grumpy. That's it's the it's the way to be because the less you care, the less it can affect you. And I don't mean that in a kind of um dismissive way, but your energy and your emotions and your time and your health and your sanity is really precious, and we should use it for things that matter and not be distracted by feeling like we should behave in a certain way for anybody else's purposes because they don't, you know, bother them. Let it more show you that. Yeah, be zen-like like I am all the time, totally calm. Ask my mother with the cheeky smile on her face. Yeah, to ask my kids. How do you describe your mum? Would you say she's calm? No, she's not calm. She's not zen-like, she's the swan. No, she's not even a swan, she's just angry.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

Angry and pulmonal.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Oh, yeah, always, always, but very productive. You know, it goes hand in hand. So you want to room tidy. Oh, sorry, I was just I didn't mean to interject. I was just gonna say if you want to room tidy and quickly, get a peri manopause penapal perimenopausal woman angry, and then I will blitz it in 10 seconds. What the bloody house is doing there? Why would you put that on? Get out of my way of coming through.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Oh dear. So, where can everybody find beautiful Rachel online and social media and your community as well?

SPEAKER_00 36:34

Uh well, you can find me um if you search for the impact specialist on Instagram at the impact specialist um or racheldunfordconsulting.co.uk is my website. And on there on the homepage, you can find all that all about my community. Um, I talk about it a lot on LinkedIn as well. Um, in fact, I bang on about it pretty much every single day. Um, so be prepared to be uh bored by that message. Uh, but it's you know, we are a lovely welcoming space and always looking for more people to come and hang out with us, but um, only if you are more interested in making an impact than shouting about the size of your bank balance. That's the message.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

And I love that message. And I love your honesty, Steve. Thank you so much for being a part of Unmasked and the new podcast.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

Thank you for my beautiful photographs. I absolutely adore them. I like it honestly the most emotional. I remember what looking into the screen of your camera in the room on the day, and it just took my breath away. Like it was like you're a very clever lady.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

Thank you so much. So, yes, thank you for being a part of this. Thank you for coming to talk to me today. And I'll speak very soon. Thank you, Rachel, so much. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

So lovely to talk to you.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

Thanks, lovely. Hi, I'm Joanna, and this is Stories from Behind the Mask, the parts we edit out. Every week, I'll be sitting down with entrepreneurs who've built businesses, created legacies, and dare to show up in the world. And we talk about the stories they usually keep to themselves. The doubts, the wins, the personal challenges, the moments that changed everything. This is about being seen, unpolished, and completely real. So, if you're ready for honesty and truth, it's time to share today's story from behind the mask.