Episode 11 - Tracey-Jane Hughes - Listening Whisperer

Tracey-Jane has spent much of her life putting others first - her children, her clients, her family, even the storms and dramas of people around her. From early setbacks, like being in a wheelchair as a teenager, through the grief of losing her mum, to financial struggles, business challenges, and the breakdown of her marriage, she often hid behind external circumstances. They became both a reason and a shield - distractions from listening to her own needs.

The mask she wore was serenity. Calm. The smile that suggested everything was fine, even when she was holding storms inside. To the outside world, she looked like the safe harbour in chaos - collected, steady, even distant at times. But the truth is, Tracey-Jane was deeply present, feeling everything, processing everything, and supporting others while quietly holding her own pain.

There are parts of her journey she hasn’t often spoken about: the painful unravelling of her marriage, the realisation of patterns of conditional love, and the exhaustion of carrying so much responsibility while feeling unseen by those closest to her. Yet through these experiences, she’s discovered her own strength - not the strength of perfection or control, but the strength of honesty, self-trust, and choosing herself.

For Tracey-Jane, being truly visible now means listening to all the layers of herself - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual - and expressing her truth in whatever form feels right. It’s about no longer silencing her own needs to fit someone else’s expectations, but instead stepping into life as her liberated, authentic self.

Her story is one of resilience, compassion, and quiet rebellion - a reminder that even the calmest waters often run deepest.

Tracey-Jane has spent years wearing the mask of serenity - calm on the outside, while storms raged within. After loss, grief, and the breakdown of her marriage, she is choosing to unmask, to listen to her own truth, and to embrace all parts of herself. Her story shows that true strength doesn’t come from holding it all together, but from the courage to let yourself be fully seen.

https://www.tracey-jane.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/traceyjane/

www.joannawoodphotography.co.uk
www.instagram.com/joannawoodphotography
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-wood-photography-6747a7235/
https://www.facebook.com/joanna.wood.13/

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Hi, I'm Joanna. And this is Stories from Behind the Mask, the parts we edit out. Every week, I'll be sitting down with entrepreneurs who've built businesses, created legacies, dare to show up in the world. And we talk about the stories they usually keep to themselves. The doubts, the wins, the personal challenges, the moments that changed everything. This is about being seen, unpolished, and completely real. So, if you're ready for honesty and truth, it's time to share today's story from behind the mask.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

So, welcome to another episode of Stories from Behind the Mask, the parts we edit out. We have the beautiful Tracy Jane who's today as part of uh this week's podcast. Welcome, Tracy Jane.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

How are you? Thank you, Joa. I'm really delighted to be here and see you again. It just seemed a long time since we were celebrating the unmasking last year.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

I can't believe it's been the last six months. That's fine past. Um so I'd just like you to introduce yourself um and let everybody know just a little bit about you, a bit about your business, what you do.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Okay. So I I help leaders birth potential through compassionate and intuitive listening. I guide people to find clarity in the chaos that is often our lives. It is often, it often comes up in all sorts of different ways by helping people to listen more deeply, to reveal the possibilities, create solutions, and develop opportunities that are there but are often hidden. And I think that's what's been really interesting about this this unmasking project, Joanna, because what I've realized is I help people listen beyond the masks.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Um you helped a few of the unmaskers with their stories as well, the path that was taking them.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Yes, yes, I did. Um there was a there was a few that just needed a little bit of help just to sort of unravel, again, it's it's what's there. It's it's not we all we all know our own stories, we all know our own experiences, but there's often stuff that we either hide behind the mask or we choose to keep hidden behind the mask, but it's often in those places that our brilliance lies. And I know from my personal experience, my life journey, that it's those hidden deeper beyond the mask places that are actually our superpowers, and those things that are actually where our nuggets of gold are that help others in their lives, whether it's being a mum, a parent, whether it's being a supporter, um, whether it's in business, whether it's in work, our careers. And it's been a really fascinating journey for me these past few years to really understand that for myself, so that I can now help other people to understand that for themselves.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Tell us a little bit more then about the the past few years running at when did you start your business with helping people unraveling their stories?

SPEAKER_00 4:00

I guess I've always done it, but I haven't known that I've been doing it until probably 15 years ago when I was a busy mum. I was running my own at that point in time. I've now I've just completed on that. Um I ran the Bra Lady uh franchise business, and I was, I think I'd already finished um, I'd sold bras for mums, and I was helping other women to run their own home bra fitting services and running online businesses, all of those things. I was busy, two young young boys at primary school at that time, and we'd had to move home because we had lots of debt, so we'd have to sell our home and we already um bought a uh we rented, and I was feeling down, I was feeling a bit of a failure, quite a lot of failure actually. And in all that busyness, a friend asked me if I would train to be a listening trainer because they wanted to set up a listening service at their church. And what do busy people do? Well, you know, they say yes, don't they? So I said yes to doing this listening training because I it it clearly called to me, and it was a very good friend, and it was just one of those things, and that very first session, I realized that I wasn't listening as well as I could be in any part of my life. So when I got home that particular day, I remember Jack, my youngest, running into the kitchen going, Mummy, mummy, mummy, and really wanted to share something. And I was cooking tea and I'd also got my laptop open because I because I'd been at the training session all day, I'd got other things that I needed to do for um for clients. And I just turned around to him and said, Stop, Jack. If you want me to listen, give me two minutes whilst I just finished this off. Because I'd been so guilty up to that point where I was sort of listening to him and sort of listening to a client and sort of putting my attention into the food I was creating. And that particular day, that first day on the training course, it was like, nah, I'm not listening well or as well as I can do in any part of my life. So from that point on, our home lives changed because we sort of stopped, you know. I stopped people and said, no, you know, that's not listening. We're not listening to what you're saying. And it shifted, it turned things around quite a lot, but it also turned my business around because I realized that I hadn't been listening to what I wanted for my business or to the clients that I was working with at that particular time. And listening really gives clarity, but we often choose not to listen because it can often be hard to hear what is going to be said, whether it's our mind, whether it's you know, uh our turnover, whether it's something somebody else is saying somebody else is saying, it can be hard. So we often choose not to listen because we don't actually want to hear what's being said. Because if we hear it, we've got to do something about it. So we don't. Yeah, it's much easier to stay in what we know. You know, it's it's often more comfortable in the space that we know than it is to get uncomfortable in the space that we don't know, even though there's parts of us that are going, oh, this isn't, you know, it's getting uncomfortable. Um so from that point, I have been um listening more, listening more deeply. I've been supporting clients in a different way. Um, like I say, Bra Lady has now gone. That's part of my part of my story, but is no longer not currently part of my future. Um and I love helping people realize their own potential. It's like we we don't we don't realize how brilliant we are because we're not always taught that or supported to be or express ourselves in our own way, but is right for us. We're often channeled into someone else's way.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

You say that um in in part of your story for a mask that you you were you felt unseen by the people closest to you. Yeah. Is that how you feel like you can you can help other people actually see themselves because you felt unseen?

SPEAKER_00 9:45

I I think I think I again the the looking back um to my childhood, I think there were some um elements of not being seen or supported to be me. You know, I was one of those that was channelled into things that you know weren't necessarily um in my best interests, but you know, my parents were doing the best they could, you know, and it's not a it's not a criticism, it's just what happened. So I have recent I'm recently divorced, and it's it's been a year actually since a year as we're recording this, it's um a year since um my ex-husband now um told me something that I couldn't unhear and I couldn't ignore it, and it's not for me, this wasn't about not forgiving or forgetting, it was actually a pattern of his that I could no longer be party to, and I had felt I'd been feeling increasingly unseen and unheard within that relationship and not being listened to, so because of that, I suppose I withdrew quite a lot from that, and we didn't spend as much time together as we used to. Um and yeah, I absolutely understand how sometimes quite easy it is to stay in relationships where you do feel unseen and unheard. Um and again, I I suppose I I whilst I knew that there was no I didn't perceive a reason to make a change before this new knowledge came a year ago.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Do you feel like being putting yourself maybe in a box or having that mask that you felt like you had to wear because maybe it was it was uh a coping mechanism for part of your relationship.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Yes, and I think I I'm a mum. Um my boys are early twenties now, um, and I think there is something about being a mum in relationship with the children's dad that can often mask um the truth about the relationship. Um I think I have always been somebody that has put other people first um until this last year, actually. Um so and it's almost like that has been the mask. The mask has been other people, the mask has been because I can do it. It's just like you know, some of these things come very easy to me. And I love helping other people. I really love it, and it's absolutely a gift, you know. I love nurturing, I love cooking, I love, you know, supporting, you know, bringing out people's potential that includes my husband and my children, you know, that's all part of it for me. It's not a, you know, I do this in my day job and I do this at home. It's all been part of who I am and how I express myself. But I think what I came to understand through the unmasking process was there was a lot more to my masks than I'd considered previously, and I've done a lot of personal development work, um, a lot, and I thought I knew myself really well, and I guess I did. I I guess I did, and I I I still do, um, because actually it only took me it probably only took me two weeks to decide that that was it with my marriage. Um, you know, I've got some friends that said, Oh, it took me 15 years to get to where you got to in three weeks, you know, it's just like, well, so I think I knew myself very well. So I was able to really listen deeply. I took, you know, we both had some time away from each other, um, and I was absolutely totally away. I was in the middle of nowhere in Sicily that had already been planned, actually, fortuitously. It had already been planned. Um, and and and my husband was was up on in Scotland, so we were totally separate, and and I could do nothing but listen to myself at that point in time, and we often second guess ourselves, we often um make excuses for ourselves or tell ourselves a story that you know well, this is okay, and that's okay, but in that totally different space, the only thing I could do was listen to myself.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

And sorry, sorry, you were gonna say something. I was gonna say we don't listen to ourselves enough, I don't think.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

No, we don't. We don't, we are always um we're always listening to something else, you know, listening to podcasts, which are wonderful things to do, but if we are you know driving on in the car listening to somebody else talking, whether it you know it might be an audiobook, it might be the radio, um, it might be somebody in the car with us, um, we might do that when we're out walking or running or at the gym. When do we listen to ourselves? You know, we are constantly listening to other people, which is why I think you know, people find it really hard to meditate because they're just not used to that silence, they're not used to that listening to themselves. Um, you know, I have never listened to other things when I'm walking, you know. To me, my walking time is my is my listening, it's my meditation time, it's my um connecting with myself and nature time. Um but I know so many people that don't, you know, my my boys are both runners, and it's taken a lot to get them to not listen to stuff whilst they're running.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

I think it filled you feel like you have to fill the void of silence with something, whereas I don't like walking with music or podcasts, or I'll do it occasionally, but it's nice just to hear everyone around you rather than what's going on in your ears.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Yes, yeah. You know, the birds are stunning at the moment, yeah, absolutely stunning. And just listening to the wind in the trees and you know the cars going past, it's yeah, there's so much, there's so much that we miss because we're not listening, or we're consciously blocking it out, and sometimes it's unconscious, sometimes it's unconscious blocking. Yeah, like I say, that that first day when I realized that I wasn't listening to Jack when he was so excited, you know, to be telling me something from school because I was busy cooking and busy doing this and busy doing that. It's just like, you know, that's not that's not listening. Yeah, was too busy.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yes. And I was at an event last year where the speaker said that busy is a dirty word. Busy, you're not busy.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Yeah, busy, busy doing what?

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Busy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

What are we busy doing? Not a lot. Are we busy? Are we busy trying to get more knowledge? You know, it's like, why do we need more knowledge? Well, sometimes you know, we need it because we're we want to be a doctor, so actually we need to know about anatomy, and we need to know about this, we need to know about that. But what are we busy doing? I think we've got a step back as well, yeah. And I think sometimes we're busy trying to get other people's opinions when actually we've got all the answers ourselves and we're busy finding out what other people think when if we spent a bit of time with ourselves we'd get the answer quite quickly.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

What made you um realize or come to the realization that having a certain mask didn't it didn't fit especially with the I guess with the listening.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Yeah, I I I was that busy person, you know. I I was that doing everything, I was that um, well, I've got five minutes here, I'll do that. You know, taking the boys swimming, and I would always, you know, I would be using that time when they were swimming to be doing something else, probably business related, probably replying to customer emails or you know, being on social media at that time, um, rather than watching them swim, which is what they wanted, they wanted me to be there and present for them. Um I've forgotten your question now. So I've been doing that all day.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

So uh the realization that the the maybe the busy mask, we'll call it the busy mask when it didn't fit, when you felt like you had to take a step back and actually breathe and go, I've got five minutes. We don't need to fill that five minutes with something else, maybe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

I think I think the mask, I think that particular mask, and probably all the masks around it, started falling when I got to rock bottom. When I um my business browse for mums had had an exponential growth. Um, started that in 2004 when my youngest was three months old, and it grew and grew. And 2008, we had the credit crunch, and that started the same month as my mum's prognosis for her cancer came back and She was given 18 months to live. Um, and my youngest son started primary school, and that all happened in the same month. Sales halved in that first month, so I'd just taken on premises, just taken on a three-year lease, and all of this stuff happened that was outside of my control, and I wanted to spend time with mum. So my business, like I say, halved. So I'd increased all my costs. I'd taken on staff, increased all my costs, and mum died nine months after that prognosis. So it was quite a traumatic time, which then led to the business going down, sales going down and down, and me being in a situation where um there was not enough money coming in to pay not only the business bills, but to put food on the table. It was in Lancashire, so bowels of a mill, you know, was I was paying, you know, what just about what I could afford for this space where all the brow stock was, and I had no connection with other people. And I remember my head hitting the desk going, I can't do this anymore. And it was that realization that I didn't need to do it anymore. What was I doing it for? Because the business that I was running at that moment in time wasn't the business that I set up, which was about personal connection, which was about supporting women directly, which was about helping women find what they needed to support them at that moment in time. And at that moment in time, you know, that was through bras, but you know, I'm still doing that in a different way now. And that's when I started to realize that actually it was like the mask of the business that was almost like I was hiding behind that, and I felt such a failure. I felt you know so guilty that I'd brought this on my family, even though those external circumstances I couldn't control, that I had to put that mask down. So that's when I took the decision to sell the retail business and held on to the things that I love doing, which was the supporting and training other women to be braffeters, and continuing the training. I've again I've always been a trainer, so you know it was doing the things that I really enjoyed, and that's when the other masks started falling away because it was like, what am I doing this for? What you know, what what am I showing my sons? You know, that it's that it's good to be unhealthily attached to things that don't make you happy, because that's what I was. It was an unhealthy attachment to things that didn't make me happy.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

What surprised you when you you managed to come out of the other side and and sell the business and actually start enjoying what you were doing with purpose again?

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Yeah, I think I think I was surprised. It was just like actually, this is easy now. You know, I wish I'd done this sooner. Like so many people, you know, we hold on to things for what seem like the right reasons at the time, but uh that's when we're not listening, and then I think that's the comfort blanket, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 26:03

It's feels like security, but actually not it's holding back in some respect.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Yeah, because I was so used to being tired, I was so used to being so busy, I was so used to being tied up with well, I'll just do this and I'll just do that, and I'll try this and I'll try that. And I was so caught up in all of that, that busyness, that I wasn't listening. I wasn't listening to myself, and you know, my underneath all of that, it was you can do things differently, you can actually live life, you know, because I wasn't living, you know, surviving, but that wasn't living, and that was that really what I wanted to show my boys? Not really.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

Well, then you end up in a survival mode. Absolutely, so what's feeling more honest and aligned with you these days? You've been on quite a journey the past 12 months, and and it's been amazing to see you and and all the other Amaskas fly and the wings aren't clipped anymore, as I keep saying, you know, everyone's fulfilling their dreams and having joy in the back in their lives. So what's yeah, what's what's your alignment?

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Um I think my alignment is is being back to me. I think I've really um it's been quite, you know, it's been interesting because when when we did the photo shoot, it was only two or three weeks after we'd um let the family house go. Um which is quite a traumatic thing. Um and even though you know I'd got a space to be, which is in you know my my friends, my friend's house, um, and I feel safe and I feel supported, and I absolutely can um live and thrive here. At that point in time, I wasn't. I was still in oh my goodness, rub it in the headlight mode. So I think every step I've taken this year has been about finding my foundations really uncovering, taking off all the masks, and going, I don't need any of these anymore. None of them, I don't need any of them, and it's really taken some of that's stripped me back to my core, and I feel that it's only since it's only probably these last few weeks that I've started feeling I'm ready to start taking steps forward again now. You know, my divorce is my divorce has come through, you know, we're totally separated, there's no connection or attachment apart from through the boys. Um and we've had actually some quite nice conversations since that's happened as well. So, you know, there's there's you know, there will always be a connection. We have 30 years together, so you know, there will always there will always be a connection, but we I'm no longer wearing the mask of needing to be that wife, that partner, that supporter, um against all odds. And I think for me, this last year has been finding my core and owning, owning it, you know, and again, letting go of bra lady, it's it's no actually, you know, now it's time for the listening to really shine. That's my superpower, and it's time to really help more people to listen more deeply so that they can unearth their potential and stop hiding because the world needs us all to step into our superpowers right now.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

So, what's future Tracy Jane got in store for the next 12 months?

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Oh, well, that's a question. I think I think it's more, I think it's it's showing off my unmasked self, not in an egoic way, but just um now I'm feeling more confident and stronger, and feeling that I've got my foundations, I'm actually able to start helping more people to uncover and find their foundations. So it's probably it's no different, it's just going to be more of lots of fun, lots of connections, lots of um, yeah, probably some travel, um just enjoying life, actually. Enjoying life.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

That's great because you've had 12 months of a lot, and now you've got all this in front, all this space in front of you just to be you, and I love that. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Yeah, there's no there's no goals, there's no it's it's staying in alignment, it's staying true to me and listening. And I think if you know, I think sometimes we set goals, but they're not aligned, they're not we haven't listened to ourselves, and sometimes we just listen need to listen to the next step. We don't need to know what we're gonna be doing in 12 months' time, actually. The next step is is is all we need right now. The next step is always tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Yeah, it is. If someone was listening right now and they feel like they're still wearing a part of that old self, that old mask, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 32:44

I would say just be gentle with yourself, just be kind. That mask was there for a reason. And whilst you're noticing that it's still there, now you're aware of it, you have a choice. You can keep it or you can put it to one side. But just be gentle, just be kind and listen. Listen to what's true for you.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

Fantastic. Thank you so much, Trans and Jane. It's so wonderful to see your your gorgeous face again after all these months.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

No, it's been really lovely. Um, and you know, I know I I'm quiet in the group and stuff, but I couldn't be anything else. It's just I'm just taking time to be me.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

Yeah, and you only need to say what you want to say when it's the right time to sell it.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

Well, thank you so much um for talking to me today. Um it's just been wonderful to catch up and and listen again to your story and what's been happening.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Yes, because you know, obviously the last six months have been, you know, it's almost like being the next step, the next phase for me.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Yeah, definitely. Um so where can everybody find you on social media or LinkedIn?

SPEAKER_00 34:12

So, yeah, LinkedIn, uh Tracy Jane on LinkedIn, and my website is tracy-jane.com. And Tracy is with an e. T-R-A-C-E-Y-J-A-N-E dot com. Jane with a why. Jane without a why, Tracy with an E and Jane without an Y.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Made that mistake before, got very told of. Oh, thank you so much. Well, the the links will go in the show notes. Um and yes, again, thank you so much for being a part of our mask and being a part of my wonderful broadband. Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

Thank you for pulling it together, Joanna, because you know you listened and you've made a difference to lots of people's lives. So thank you for that.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Thank you so much, Tosa Jan. Well, speak soon.

SPEAKER_00 35:10

Yeah, speak soon.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

Thank you for listening to stories from behind the mask. The parts we edit out are the ones that matter the most. If something in this conversation stayed with you, let it. You don't need to rush to fix or frame it. And if you're in a season of unmasking and finding your story, know this. You don't have to do it all at once. I'm Joanna, and I'll see you next time.