Episode 12 - Hela Wozniak-Kay - Sister Snog Connectress - Author - Sub stacker

For more than two decades, Hela has been the heartbeat of Sister Snog, the bold, bodacious, tribal brand that has connected extraordinary women across industries. To the outside world, she’s The Connectress: magnetic, stylish, and endlessly generous in the way she celebrates others. But behind the sparkle of the brand and the stage lights of her alter ego, there’s a woman learning to be seen not just as The Connectress, but as Totally Hela.

She’s spent years shining the spotlight on others by weaving connections, cheering from the side lines, and curating a community where Sisterliness thrives. The UNMASKED experience arrived at just the right time, a moment of truth where she could step out from behind the brand and let the world meet the woman who built it.

Her story is layered with colour, culture, and courage. The hats, fascinators and floral crowns she wears aren't just playful accessories. They're symbolic. The flower crown, rooted in her Polish heritage, embodies youth, vitality, and a deep connection to nature and tradition. It’s her reminder that even at 63, she’s in a “teenage renaissance” embracing life with renewed curiosity and the wisdom of experience.

She’s entering a new era, one that might take her beyond Brighton, even beyond Britain. A chapter of expansion, creativity, and raw honesty. One where she’s no longer just the connector of others, but the storyteller of her own life with all its humour, heart, and human imperfection.

For Hela, being visible now means more than magazine covers or Netflix dreams (though she’s still manifesting both). It means standing fully in her truth, flaws, sparkle, and all and letting her realness be the bridge that connects others back to themselves.

Her greatest legacy is the constellation of friendships she’s built, the women she’s championed, the laughter she’s shared, and the colour she’s added to every life she’s touched.

Because, as Hela says, “In the cookies of life, friends are the chocolate chips.”

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hela-wozniak-kay/

https://www.sistersnog.com/

www.joannawoodphotography.co.uk
www.instagram.com/joannawoodphotography
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-wood-photography-6747a7235/
https://www.facebook.com/joanna.wood.13/

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Hi, I'm Joanna, and this is Stories from Behind the Mask, the parts we edit out. Every week I'll be sitting down with entrepreneurs who've built businesses, created legacies, dare to show up in the world. And we talk about the stories they usually keep to themselves. The doubts, the wins, the personal challenges, the moments that changed everything. This is about being seen, unpolished, completely real. So, if you're ready for honesty and truth, it's time to share today's story from behind the mask. The parts we edit out, and today's guest we have the wonderful Hella Vozniak. Good morning, Hella. Uh good morning from Scotland. We Bonnie Scotland, how are you? We Bonnie Scotland indeed. That was a dreadful accent. I can do better than that.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

How are you? I'm very well, and uh lovely Easter. Uh there was a little bit of snow, actually. Was that? Yeah, only only like a little sprinkling, and um, and there was some apparently up a mountain, but I wasn't up that mountain. So um, but today is just glorious. It really is springtime in Scots in Scotland.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Springtime in Scotland is beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

The daffodils are everywhere, you know. We've gone from snow drops that you know were they the the first the first little sign of spring, and then now seriously, everywhere you go, it it really is daffodil uh party.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yeah, ours, ours are disappearing slowly over here down, down, down, down. Oh no, they're they're still here.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Golden trumpets, that's what I call them.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Beautiful. Um, so before we start going down the road of spring flowers, um hello, tell everybody a little bit about who you are um and what you're known for because you you are Mrs. Sister Snog.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

I am Mrs. Sister Snog, yes. So, well, for the last two decades, I've been um I've been out with my butterfly nest uh net looking for wonderful female founders, business women, and um and and saying, come and join Sister Snog because I do believe there's nothing quite like being connected. And um, so Sister Snog is a tribe, I would say, rather than uh a club or a group. And um over the years I have had the utter joy and privilege and pleasure of connecting marvelous women. So my my day really is um is is all about thinking of ways where members can meet each other, connect with each other, do business with each other, collaborate with each other. And I do kind of believe that uh it's there are there are so many groups, clubs, collectives out there, but there's something about Sister Snog in that it has its own particular um brand. And I have to say that I have certainly met some of the moves and shakers of today, those that are growing empires, but it's not about size, it's it's about what you see and vision, and um which is why I guess I was totally uh attracted to the magnet that is unmasked. And and and it keeps and it keeps going. I think that's the thing when you hit on something that that has legs, it starts to become a snowball, it flies, it gets a new pair of wings, and um and and you know, we can only really do business with people that we like doing business with, in my view. Absolutely. That's that's where I'm at. So Sister Snog, it's not Sister Snog Scotland as as such, in that it's going to be um a different organization, it's just peppering the membership with um, there are some wonderful Scottish brands out there, and there's a big sort of artisan culture, and there's great community, even in a small place called Methven, which is where I live, um, which is a very tiny little place, but I'm getting to know people by name, and I have some um dog biscuits in my pocket.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

So when I meet people with dogs, how to make friends and influence people who've got dogs.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

So um uh, you know, I think I'm known as the lady with the pink coat, but I think that might have to go now the weather's changing because it's a big pink coat. I can imagine oversized for a small person.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Brilliant. So we first met at um the brand new magazine. We did was it two years ago?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

I think it is about two years. I know the years seem to fly by, seriously. No, crazy. Where does the time go? I don't know, but um, yeah, so I've known Olivia. Well, you know, I've I've known her from the earliest days of brand new and and seeing how she's grown and developed, and Showtime, you know, was was and is um you know, a great sort of platform and magnet for that attracts again, you know, remarkable female founders.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

I think once you get in those spaces that you find all these incredible people.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Oh my you do, and and you know, everybody's linked in one way or another. And you know, I I I think about and I talk about the connection Lou because you know, I've met you, you've met me, then you know, there are some people that we then both get to know. And um, Gwen, for example, another unmasker. Well, she doesn't, she's not exactly a name, but but she's in Scottish terms, so you know, I've got to know her, and it's it's really, you know, I think you need to be open to it, and um, and also, you know, add a bit of sugar and chat to people and see what they're up to. I'm very nosy, so that's quite handy. I like to know what people are doing, what mischief they're up to.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Yeah, absolutely. So when um when we first met, Helen was very she's very colourful, always wearing something that's fabulous.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Apart from trying to wear black today. Well, I thought it might be quite good for the uh the colour sort of balance. So I thought I'll I'll go, I'll go neutral.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

I was expecting all sorts of things. Disappointed.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Oh, sorry. Sorry that it wasn't multicoloured. Yes, I'm noir today.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Noir. Um so tell us a bit about why unmasked for you was so intriguing.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Um it's really interesting that you ask that because when I hit 60, which was um oh three years ago now, and I um I was kind of into comedy at that stage, and you know, funny women, and so I, you know, Sister Snob does support funny women, and I actually had an event where I thought, you know, I think there's something really good about humour in business, and if you can sort of engage with people, it's not about telling jokes, but it's about telling stories. So I actually had um an event uh and inspired by Mrs. Mazel, so I I became um the wonderful Mrs. Vozniak K who presents anything and everything. And what I wanted to do is as I walked in, I was the the song by Shirley Bassey, um, I'm coming up and I'm gonna get this party started, where everyone's wearing masks. So I did, everyone had a mask on, and um, and I mine was you know gold and everyone's was black, and I liked that idea because I was actually unmasking myself, even though I didn't have that term and I didn't really sort of think about it, was thinking, right, I'm gonna go and do something. Not none of it was scripted, but I did know everybody who came. And you know, there were names in a hat, and um, I had somebody, Susie Payton, who um who is uh a funny woman, and she she does she's a coach, so she uses comedy training on neurodiversity, so she kind of was working with me for some time. Um, and she would just pull the names out, and I would just tell stories about everybody, you know, whoever came out, what the story was, because that's what we're about. And I haven't done anything since, and I've actually thought, I'm not sure that I want to go down the stand-up route uh or even sort of explore it any further at the moment. That's not to say down the line. And that idea of unmasking. So when I when I saw this unmasked, I thought, God, I'm already sort of thinking along those lines, you know, to take yourself outside a comfort zone. I love the idea of what, because we all wear masks, you know, in in personal lives, in business lives, you know, when you're out and about with people you don't know. And I'm a great lover of photography. I mean, I am a you know, iPhone snapper, I'm not a photographer, but I just take photos all the time. And I was curious to see, you know, how this project would progress. And I love the idea of how you described it is that you would get a mask and then we would all decorate, create, use our use our creative skills. And it's not about whether you're an artist, it's what what's inside and what what can the mask represent. And um, and I just thought I will regret not going down this route because I'll be watching and seeing, because I could almost picture it. My imagination is quite florid. What happened was different, but I was like, yeah, there's something really colourful, creative, and it's a beautiful way to get people to share without you know having some sort of circle, you know, some some community circle group where you share your woes. It's about sharing your stories as to why you've got to where you are. Um, and I was like, that's got my name on it. That's the reason why. Especially with your Venetian butterfly mask. With my Venetian butterflies, yes, because um, yeah, butterflies are one of my symbols because we're all we're all transforming all the time, and um, and I am I am known as Mrs. Glue Gun, that is my weapon of choice, and so I thought the two will combine rather than painting or anything. I did think about that, and I just thought, you know, it's about butterflies. And luckily, I have um these magic boxes with all sorts of ephemera and bits of jewelry that I use when I'm licking and sticking, and so I did have a lot of butterflies, a few E. Um, and so so the white mask arrived, and a butterfly, Venetian butterfly, was taken to the photo shoot, which was just incredible. It you know, the creativity, the great thing was you were never going to get, you know, like mirror copies of each. Every single one um told a story and had um, you know, had an element, and I think it opened up for all of us something that you know we didn't really think about at the time. And it was so lovely to see them all lined up, you know. I mean, it is one of those take modern exhibitions, and I I hope that they're knocking on your door and saying that we want to can you imagine a room with like a hundred or two hundred masks?

SPEAKER_02 12:56

So um, if you're listening, so get in there coming on from your your mask and the butterfly effect. Um what what was about uh is there a version of yourself that you felt that you had to present for a long time?

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Um I think the version of myself is more about the version of myself is my diamond decade. So, you know, there's a lot of talk about midlife and you know, the 40s, the 50s, the 60s, and what does hitting 60 mean? Because for a lot of people, it's like, oh no, it was 60. For me, it was like it's the teenage renaissance, you know. I'm you know, my daughter is 24, she's a butterfly aiming to be an actress. Um, so that there is just me, and it's a chance to sort of explore and be an adventure again, having had some sort of a few decades of wisdom and celebrating, you know, the diamond decade, what's what's happening? And so far, I found I found a sort of weird and wonderful freedom of um you know of being able to think right. I mean, even moving to Scotland, that I don't think in my 50s that would have even been on the agenda. Um, but there was a chance conversation. Would you move to Perth? This has come up. And I'm like, yeah, uh absolutely. Without sort of looking into it and Googling it and then, you know, creating some sort of pros and cons. Um, intuitively, Scotland is another country. It's another place that I don't really know. It's a place to adventure. So when I was in my youth, you know, in my teens and twenties, I did, you know, as everyone, not everyone did, but you know, a lot of sort of backpacking and traveling around, you know, with wearing the same trousers for a week, um, going to islands, meeting wonderful people. And I thought it's time for a new adventure. So, in answer to that question, though it was kind of the beginning of something, you know, I think it was the beginning of a new set of wings with tartan on.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

So, going back to your 40s and 50s, did you ever feel like that you are hiding behind a mask then? Was there a mask that you were wearing that you aren't wearing now?

SPEAKER_00 15:42

There was always a mask. Um, I think particularly, I remember when Sister Snog first started and uh and uh my business partner of the time, Annie, who who is in reclinement, you know, we've known each other nearly 40 years now. When we had in-person events, well, everything was in-person because that's how it was in them their days, um, I would never get up and do any sort of speaking. And I had to do it because I could speak to someone one-to-one or you know, two and me, but when I saw a sea of faces and I was standing there, um, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't do it for a number of years. And as time has gone on, you know, because it's it's interesting because I'm definitely an introverted extrovert, you know, in that I love my own company, but I do always get supremely nervous. If you like worrying what people would think. And now, well, you know, I know I know who's in my tribe, I know who my friends are. I mean, some of them I I have known for nearly 50 years, 40 years, you know. Um this year I'll have been married 34 years, and when when I got married, I had um 11 bridesmaids who I still I know greedy. And uh so I know totally ridiculous. Who all wore um the same material but something different, so I didn't know what they were wearing until the day of the um of the wedding. Um I said you can make whatever you want apart from dungarees, because I didn't think that would be not that anybody was thinking dungarees, you know. So I was still in touch with those people, a lot of the people I've known when I was at university, but I've always had this vision of being in front of an audience but feeling always tense, nervous about standing up. Um, so I've I think I've trained myself. I'm not totally over it. I'm I'm better with strangers who don't know me or people with dogs. You know, I was I did very well with with uh with people who've got dogs. So um, you know, but I'm definitely a feline. If you were to say, are you canine or fee feline, I I'm feline, you know, that's my that's my way. So, you know, what can I say?

SPEAKER_01 18:12

So yes, that's the answer. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

Is there um is there any part of your story that you felt like you haven't been able to speak about in the past?

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Um I think I've I don't really speak too much about my upbringing, you know, my childhood days. Um, because you know, I have a brother who's um who's going to be 86 on April the 20th. So there's a massive age gap. And you know, my parents were of an older generation, you know, um, and they were actually separated for 18 years during the war. So when my mum came to England, she never really learned to speak um English. So Polish was always my first language. Uh and and I think that she she had some, you know, issues of the mind that I didn't really understand at the time. You know, she was she was known as the strange Polish lady who lived at Ten Fife Lane. Um and I as I think I'm still sort of understanding that a lot more as I get older, and maybe I buried that. So that sense of independence, and I will, you know, I'm very high will. Um, and I don't always open up. I don't and when I sort of meet people and they join sister snug, I find I always know a lot more about them rather than revealing things about me. So it's not like I'm a keeper of secrets, but I I I I keep you know whatever information to myself. So I'm I'm very um I'm very anti-gossip and mingles and all that kind of thing. But I did suffer because I suffered quite a lot of it being the strange Polish girl. So I had to work really hard to be accepted, you know, in in the playground on the street. Um my nickname in Balden where I grew up was Hella Washenickers, which um I find really amusing now.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

At the time it wasn't yeah, I can imagine that would have been like as a kid, uh uh horrendous.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

It it was quite uh it was something to deal with, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Yeah, because I'm sure I'm sure as time goes on. Um, I mean, I'm not I'm not someone who yeah, who is a a sharer. So doing something like Unmasked, I'm not even quite sure how much of me I I shared, but I went along. I knew that I wouldn't really know that many people, but that didn't matter because I was fascinated. And what Unmasked did was it attracted those that would get on with each other, you know, just it was quite an instant buzz, you know. As soon as you walked in, whoever was getting their hair done or their makeup, or you know, it was I like being part of things that have got a creative aspect to them, but yet dig a bit deeper and and it's kind of a platform to say what you want to say, you know, and uh and it helps sometimes to express things that that have been hiding somewhere down there. So uh yes, I guess that's it.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

How do how just going back to your um your brother with the twenty twenty odd year age gap? That's yeah. That's massive. Did your mum have him over in Poland? Yeah, and then come over?

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Yeah, yeah. So he was 18 when he met my dad. I think um because she did go to a lot of kind of like I think Polish quack doctors, and I think one of them said, why don't you have a baby? Um because that might that might kill you.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

I'm not sure whether it did or it didn't, but anyway, duh.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

So um yeah, it's kind of quite interesting about you know the relationships, you know, between mother and daughter, you know, between son and father. Um, I mean, when I so I've got Theo, you know, both me and Jeremy, you know, before she was born, were we like, we're definitely having a boy, but we didn't really want one. We wanted a girl, and did her a girl appeared. And and so, you know, there's quite an interesting Jeremy's got a beautiful relationship with her. I think mine was better when she was my dolly, you know, in the early days of um, she always had amazing birthday parties. I can imagine they were ridiculous, but they're always done with a bit of creativity, and now she is that way herself, you know. And I always said to her, There are two things you need to do. Um, always say thank you and make someone and make people feel special. And it doesn't take much to make someone feel special, and so I like things that are special. Unmasked had a special K factor about it, you know, and um and I hadn't seen anything done like it before, and um, and it wasn't a photo shoot, it was an experience and it's a movement, and it's a you know, it's a big pot of glue or honey that that has linked a lot of people that you wouldn't have known, you know. But sometimes you need something to to be that sort of magnet that um that gravitates people. So, you know, for me, I love the fact that it's carrying on that you've started this podcast, for example, which has inspired me. One of the things that's on the list, my list is always, as I'm sure yours is very long, but you've beaten beaten me totally to the podcast, which is great. You know, a chance for you to chat a bit more to people after the event and inspire those that are thinking about it, you know, this year.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

I mean you could start a podcast 100% of the amount of people that you know.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Do you know what? And and I've written it down because I've got me notes here. I absolutely have to, you know, and the stories and you know what's out there. So, yes, I'm I'm now I'm saying it officially, it will happen. I don't know if it's going to be this quarter, but it will definitely be for the next quarter.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

Good. And I look forward to listening to it as well.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

And I look forward to welcoming you on it.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

We got a deal.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

Um so after unmasked after the wave of craziness last year, um do you feel like you've shown up showing up differently as you um now, or do you feel I think it's making me think about how I'm showing up.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

I don't know whether it's differently externally, but I think it's differently internally. You know, and I think that's the thing because I'm not sure how much externally I'm changing, but you know, we all feel things that people can't see. If our feelings, you know, it all started to pop out like in a cartoon, you know, nervous, tense, uh, you know, unconfident. Um, I mean, I'm very allergic to imposter syndrome as a term because I think too much of it is talked about, but we all have a bit of that, you know. I think maybe I want to need a different term, but it's like, you know, are you good enough? You know, are you fast enough, clever enough, funny enough, you know, enough of a magnet? Um, and I think social media is a great thing, but it's also a double-edged sword because yes, it, you know, everyone's just, you know, more successful, creating more things, being more this, but not, you know, not really, because we've all got so many parts of our lives, and nobody knows what really does hide behind the mask unless you tell them. So maybe I'm being a little bit more open, but I have to be in a situation where I kind of there is a trust there. You know, I'm not someone who will go on Facebook and if I'm having a bad hair day, tell the world in order for everyone to go, oh, poor you. I don't like poor me. You know, I'd prefer and I also don't want to go, oh, look at me, but I like to share things, funny stories, you know. I guess that's why I've started to keep this digital diary of my my um time in Scotland. I mean, I've always kept diaries, but sometimes when I was in Greenwich before we moved to home, I kept one for quite a long time. And then it was just morning pages. I don't know if you've read The Artist's way, but that is it, it's it's it says, you know, get up and just write a stream of consciousness. I I wasn't sure if it was great, so I actually chucked them, but I'm now keeping uh a positive digital diary of my shenanigans and the people that I'm meeting, and there's so many wonderful businesses here, it's very artisan and craft and community and you know, collectives. And um and and I found, I know this is a bit of a strange aside, but I had the same hairdresser for nine years in Hove who came to my house, marvelous chap called Patrick, and I was trying to find someone here, and I did. And it was funny when she was doing my hair, because it takes a while, because I'm not a natural blonde, I know that's a big shock to you. Um, and she was saying, Oh my lord, you know more about Scotland than I do. So I'm really throwing myself into the adventure. And is that to do with unmasked? I I think it kind of is, you know, the unmasking, doing it, being brave, saying, Can I sort of chat to you and interview you? You know, last week I was in the little acorn cafe that's run by a wonderful character uh called Lorraine, known as Rainey, and I got to know about her. So I'm a curious soul. Um, and I think what you've just said, yes, I should start a podcast and and and get people to share their stories, you know, with my questions, because who knows what they'll be like.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Yeah, that'd be fascinating. Uh so have you just just sort of started meeting people and just asking them questions about who they are? Because I love that I'm fascinated by people and their stories, and that's obviously the reason why I started this in the first place. It's the stories.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

It is the stories, yeah. That's what you're uncovering. Um, but then you're using your um superpower, which is to be able to see behind the lens, you know, because the the exhibition and the unveiling of all the masks and the photographs, they were quite otherworldly in one way. You know, they were like you captured something behind the eyes or through the eyes. And um, and it's really interesting because going back to my hairdresser, um, because I showed him obviously the uh the print. And when I've got this sort of vision or or goal, maybe one day Netflix will knock on the door and do a um, you know, do a uh an original series or a film or whatever, and who would play you um in in the film or the drama. And for me, it's always Helen Mirror and he said when I looked at, I thought, oh my, you look like Helen Mirren. I was thinking that, which is, I mean, she is 80, so I don't know if I'm wearing well or not.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

But but, you know, if you're watching Helen, if you're listening, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Here's your here's your as the narrator, I thought, you know, a little bit like um call the midwife, where you we I think it's is it Jenny Agatha? No, she's the um the mate. Anyway, whoever whoever does the midwife, um, call the midwife, which I love. So, you know, I think we're all living in in our own story, in our own film, and you decide who you want to attract. So Unmasked um helps you create your film, you know, of the people. I'm sure you've got to know. Did you know everybody, you know, from the beginning? No.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

So probably a handful.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

So it's a new kind of um, it's a new entourage who who are who are actually, it's a living thing, you know, it's not um job done on to the next, I'm gonna start something. You know, I I'm um I always love seeing what's happening, and um, I love the fact that you know you're you're adding to it. It's like a wonderful rum pot. You know, you've created something, then you're gonna add a little bit of something else, then you're gonna go over here and um you know, eventually to the tape. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

Well, our mask is hopefully going to um Luxembourg next year.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Really? Amazing. Is that is that via someone that's seen it or someone that you knew? Yeah, someone you've seen it which is yeah, that well, that's the that's the ultimate, you know, compliment. That that's saying it could go to Luxembourg, then it could go to you know, Los Angeles, then it could go to Paris, then it could go to you know, I don't know, Tuscany. There are a few places. South of France.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Yeah, no, I think that's just brilliant.

unknown 32:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

So is there going to be um, you know, like a a coffee book eventually, or you know, what ideas?

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Oh yeah, I'd like to. Yeah, a beautiful book with everyone's photos and all this.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

It would be amazing. Yeah, you know, because the quality of the photography, I I think obviously it's a showcase for your talent, you know. I mean, if the photos hadn't have turned out, I'm not sure that you would have been able to create the buzz that you have. But they did. Well, they were always going to. I hope so.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Anyway, we digress. We've got one off on a tangent.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

I know, apologies.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

That's all right. Um okay, so what was I gonna say? Uh I had a thought then that it just totally went out of my head. Oh no. That happens. It does. That's perimenopause for you. Um so if someone was listening now and feels like they're still wearing a mask, what what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 33:26

If someone's listening now and wearing a mask, um one they'd like to get rid of. Yeah, you know, I think you have to sort of first of all realize that you're wearing one because I think a lot of masks uh uh undetected. And if there's certain patterns of behavior and you're wondering why do I keep doing that and why does that thing keep happening, which is actually not what I want, you know, there's got to be a reason. You know, we we are all, you know, our own um launch pad, but we also stop it ourselves doing things. So I I would say, I would say, you know, do a bit of writing in the morning of streams of consciousness, put it away for a little while and then have a look at it. And then once you've realized perhaps what mask you're wearing and why you're wearing, and why does that keep happening, and why isn't it not like this? And then if there's somebody or you know, a few people, whether it's a close friend or someone you don't particularly know that well, or someone you admire, you know, be brave enough and say, Can I have a chat with you? You know, don't be frightened to reach out because we're all intrinsically good and intrinsically kind. You know, if someone knocked on the door and said, Hello, you know, can I talk to you about this? Because either I feel you've gone through it, or B, you seem like someone who might listen. I think I think we'd be surprised. And I think we need to talk a bit more and email a bit less. Um, even that it is the way, isn't it? And uh, you know, so that's why, and and I will be sort of judging it up more. You know, today is Telephone Tuesday at um at Snog Towers, and the idea is, you know, ring someone up and maybe someone will ring you up, even if they're busy and say it's you know, you need to say, is it a good time? But you can arrange to talk to them another time because it's amazing what chat you have. Um, I think unmasking publicly, you know, I would, as I say, I would never sort of do it publicly, you know, in a in a stream of consciousness or even do a video of this is how I'm feeling. I think I I'm more about finding, you know, finding the tribe, finding the people that you trust. Um, but there is nothing better than unmasking to someone who you admire, like, and you do need to be willing to listen to. Don't ask for advice if you're not willing to take it, but don't give it if you're not asked for it. Yeah, you know, those people who know, do you know what you should do? Did I ask you whether I should do that or not? But um, but I think a lot of generally if someone reaches out, it comes from a place of kindness, you know, if you're coming back to them. And um, and if you haven't signed up to Enmasse, then sign up and um go on this journey that I've gone on, and so have a a number of others. That's what I would say.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

Fantastic. Um, so one more thing before we say au revoir for today. Um, what does being unmasked with the air quotes mean to you today?

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Um unmasked means to me um to carry on being freer than I was before I did unmasked. Um, to carry on if I've got an idea to follow it through. Because the thing about unmasked, it didn't happen in 24 hours, it happened over a period of time, and I think that's it. It's to say, okay, I am going to do a podcast in Q3. I've just said that. That's kind of part of unmasking. Why haven't I done one before? I've had like years, um, and this maybe is the catalyst that has inspired me. Well, it is actually, because you asked me, and I'm like, yeah, absolutely. So think about when you're walking into a room, how you want to be, but more importantly, how how you want to feel. And if you don't, if it doesn't happen straight away, you know, just keep keep with it. But keep you need to understand what your mask is first before you can unmask yourself and be real and honest and true to yourself. You know, I mean, that's that's the first person you need to address is um is your your little voice, your intuition, the voices in your head. I mean, I would say for me, intuition, when I don't go with it, I had an intuitive thought about unmasked, and I thought if I don't listen, because my intuition is not just me, it's my mum, it's my grandmum, it's going way back, great-great-grandmother. They're all in there, you know, that they're your first port of call, you know. Yeah, the the intuitive family who um who won't take you down the wrong road. When you don't listen to your intuition, how many times you thought I knew that?

SPEAKER_02 38:41

Yeah, listen to your gut, definitely. Definitely, definitely, it will serve you well. Anyway, well, thank you so much, Hella. It's been a wonderful chat with you today. And go and do that podcast. Uh absolutely go and get those people booked into your diary and do it.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Yes. No, no, absolutely. I because what I've loved is your um, I've loved the way that you've done it, a systematic approach, you know, telling people because I think um, I mean, I have been on one or two, not saying that people don't give thorough information because everybody has up to a point, but you kind of I don't know um if if what star sign you are, but I'm a Virgo and I like things that are ordered, you know, and and you actually followed a very um very logical process and get and gave me time to think. I'm a Libra and I like balance. Ah well when when what star sign are you then? Libra. Libra, October, of course, yes. I mean it all makes sense. You like balance, I like things just so, you know. I you know, I'm a recovering perfectionist. I guess that's one of the things I was I'm working through, but it's been lovely, and it and it's a joy just to be part, you know, as I say it, part of it. And I'm getting to know people, and there are more people, you know, to to say hello to, get to know to. And I and I definitely look forward to see what happens in in this next cohort. That's the word that I didn't hear a few years ago. Yes. Collective, collective, yes, collective marvelous. It's been lovely, it's been a wonderful way to start my Tuesday.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

So thank you very much. You're very welcome, and thank you so much for joining us. And I'll speak to you very soon.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

I think you probably will. Bye.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

Thank you for listening to stories from behind the mask. The parts we edit out are the ones that matter the most. If something in this conversation stayed with you, let it. You don't need to rush to fix or frame it. And if you're in a season of unmasking and finding your story, know this. You don't have to do it all at once. I'm Joanna, and I'll see you next time.