Episode 13 - Gina Trick - Business Strategist & Mentor

Gina spent years hiding behind the “good girl” persona, the one who kept the peace, never rocked the boat, and avoided conflict at all costs. Growing up in a household with a verbally abusive, controlling, and gaslighting father, she learned to stay quiet, never express her opinion, and work tirelessly to meet impossible expectations. She did everything to avoid confrontation, always trying to be perfect, all while knowing it would never feel like enough.

Her mask has been achievement. On the outside, she appears as the high-achiever, the strategist, the one who can handle anything. But underneath, it’s driven by a need for external validation, praise and recognition to provide temporary boosts of self-worth that never last.

Gina rarely speaks about how her drive to achieve stems from growing up feeling inadequate. She was never praised, no matter how hard she tried, and that shaped her into someone who pushed harder and harder, eventually running herself into burnout while managing a 7-figure wedding and events business. Ninety-hour weeks and trying to make everyone else happy quietly destroyed her, even as she kept everything looking perfect on the outside.

What she wants the world to know is that her success hasn’t come from having it all together. It’s come from unravelling the patterns of her past, admitting that she doesn’t always feel good enough, and learning that true visibility means showing up as she is not who she thinks others want her to be.

Her experiences have taught her that self-worth cannot be measured by others’ opinions, achievements, or the hours she works. Real self-belief comes from within, though it’s an ongoing journey.

For Gina, being truly visible means speaking her truth without a mask, not chasing approval, not pretending to be confident or perfect, but letting people see the real her: the strategist, the mentor, and the woman who rebuilt her voice after years of silence.

Through her story, Gina shows that you don’t need to chase validation or burn yourself out to be worthy. By dropping the masks and listening to your own voice, you can build a business and a life that feels as good as it looks. If she could recover from burnout and reclaim her power, others can too.

https://ginatrick.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ginatrick/

https://www.instagram.com/ginatrickstrategist/

www.joannawoodphotography.co.uk
www.instagram.com/joannawoodphotography
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-wood-photography-6747a7235/
https://www.facebook.com/joanna.wood.13/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Hi, I'm Joanna, and this is Stories from Behind the Mask, the parts we edit out. Every week, I'll be sitting down with entrepreneurs who've built businesses, created legacies, and dare to show up in the world. And we talk about the stories they usually keep to themselves. The doubts, the wins, the personal challenges, the moments that changed everything. This is about being seen, unpolished, and completely real. So, if you're ready for honesty and truth, it's time to share today's story from behind the mask. The parts we edit out. Today we have the lovely Gina Trick, who was a uh speaker at my exhibition event last year for Unmasked. So, welcome Gina. Hello, thank you for having me. You're welcome. Um, so just give a brief intro um into a bit about you, what you do, your business, um, and just a little bit of backstory.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

So 21 years in under 20 seconds. So I am an online business and AI strategist. So basically, I help people to grow their businesses, but it's using strategies that fit the person. So instead of like this strategy works, follow it, we'll look at your values, your personality, your time, your energy, like what you like and dislike. And then we get strategies that will actually fit you, that you're actually gonna do, that you follow through on. And then we bring human-centered AI into that as well. So it's all about not losing your creativity and not just using AI to replace you. It's about how you can use it to support you, so then you can be more human in front of everybody. Um, and I'm also co-host of The Edge, which is um how to stand out in a crowded market. They're in-person events that we're doing. Um, but yeah, 21 years since I started my first business, which makes me feel like a dinosaur, um, and still loving it. That's always a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

You still can give us a bit of a backstory about um just a bit about you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Oh, so are you getting to do what you're doing? Oh, like I say, it's been a it's been a journey, but yeah, so when I was 25, I was a hotel manager. So I had worked from being um when I was 15 being a chambermaid, and I worked my way through hotels and became a hotel manager. And when I got there, I was like, this is not what I wanted. Like, why have I got to ask for time off? Why have I got to ask for holidays? Why am I working all these hours? Why am I still grinding away and people still go and reach for the next level? Because no matter how well you did, it was always like, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? And I was like, this is not the life that I want. I was like, I just want some autonomy over my own life. Like, even when I wasn't at the hotel because I was working ridiculous shifts, like they would ring me, you know what I mean, and like ask me things because when you're a GM, that's what happened. So I was like, I'm not really enjoying this, but I used to do events and weddings, so I used to sort of sell those and like organise those and miss the wedding side of things. I was like, oh, it's sort of like a bit of romantic, loved the little stories, loved like here and how the couples got engaged, how they met, you know, all of their stories. So started making wedding stationery and jewellery, um, and sold those online and used to go to wedding fairs and people just like laugh because like I was really crafty. It's like now I don't do any craft, it's weird. Um, but did that, grew my business. Um, but then me and my ex split up, and due to the fact that the Northern Rock had gone bust and our mortgage was with the Northern Rock, they basically sold our house when we split up because we couldn't sell it, um, and left us with a £60,000 deficit, which you can't basically back then you couldn't get loans or anything because obviously the whole economy had completely collapsed. So my only option was to go bankrupt. So in one day, they took my house, my car, and my business all together, and obviously my relationship had just ended. Um, and unfortunately it had ended in domestic violence, so I had that to deal with as well. So, literally just before my 30th birthday, sat in a flat by myself, literally with a few boxes, because literally they'd taken everything from us. They give me £2,000 to start my life again. I was like, thanks, that's really nice. You've taken a 20 grand car off me, you know, a 200 grand house and left me with 2,000. Thank you. Um, and I was sat there, and obviously, I'm not gonna say that I didn't, you know, smart for a little while, but there's something in his, and it must be this entrepreneurial thing, this great, I don't know what it was, but I sat there and I was like, this is not gonna stop me. So I had this really old laptop that they hadn't taken because it wasn't worth anything, and it still had photos of what I used to make. I didn't have any supplies, but I was like, do you know what though? If I get the orders and people pay like 50% up front, I can buy the materials, make the stuff, and then they pay on delivery, the other 50%. So I literally learned how to make my own WordPress website. I put PayPal buttons onto it and learnt all that and literally used these old photographs and started my business again. Um, from there I went on to have a um batik. So it was an accessories boutique, so basically everything for weddings, bar wedding dresses. Um, in a beautiful old converted chapel, I had a wedding blog. So I used to blog all about weddings. You can tell there's a little theme here of how addicted to weddings I was. Went on to have um a wedding events company that had like we ran a venue and we turned over seven figures in the first year. Um, so took it from nothing to seven figures and then burnt out. Because, you know, as you do, this is like obviously over a period of time. Um, and we must have known COVID was coming because we sold that business just not long before COVID. Um, and loads of people had asked us like how I'd turned the wedding venue around, like from it failing and nearly shutting to when we took it over. And I was given loads of advice for free. And I was like, hang on, I know quite a bit about business, I know how to help people, and so that's how I fell into coaching. Um, and then thought I'm not a coach because I give people the answers. So I was like, that doesn't that doesn't work because coaching's like you find the answers within you, and I was like telling everybody the answers. I was like, right, this doesn't work. So decided strategy was more what I do, and I'm definitely more of a strategist in helping people, and yeah, so 21 years in a kind of very quick nutshell event being a roller coaster, it's been lots of ups and downs. Um, it's definitely tested me, but I'm still here, so still alive and kicking.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Definitely. Let's go a bit deeper in into your story because um you talked about um being an overachiever. Yeah, um, and you hid behind the good girl persona.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

So yeah. So I grew up in quite a volatile household, let's say, um, where like my dad could go for weeks without talking to you and just could completely blank you and things. So you were always walking on eggshells, and so it was like, don't rock the boat, do everything well. Do you know what I mean? Like as long as you're doing everything and being a good girl, then it meant that nothing was going to kick off at home, like they didn't need to. And I thought like that was like a control thing because if I could do as well as I could, and it was always that approval thing as well, because like at no point did I, no matter what I did, it was never a well done or a you know, you've done really well. It was just a right, okay. There was no excitement, like, oh, I've done this, and like no, there was just nothing like that. So it was like for me, it was like that, right? Okay, if I get the next thing, it'll come, you know, the will approve, I will get the well done, and then your next thing and your next thing. And it was, yeah, I was always looking for something else that was gonna make me feel like I belonged and that I'd done well, and I was always just looking for that approval because it just like I say, just didn't come from anywhere. Um, and as I've learned now, because I've been talking to somebody about something called reparenting, um, and it's about how if you weren't given that nurture and things as a kid, you've not learned how to parent yourself as an adult. So you don't, so obviously I carried that on because I'd never had approval from them, I never approved of myself. I could never think that what I'd done was good enough. Um, so no matter like I say, being a hotel general manager at the age of 25 is really young, and it still wasn't enough. Do you know what I mean? It was like that thing of like, right, and I was working myself into the ground, like I just worked all the time. I had no social life really. Like my social life was with the people I worked in hotels that were went out on the rare nights that were off in the middle of the week. So yeah, it was always that kind of just do better, do better. Like, and looking for something that just never came. And I was like, I think it's because I never knew what it was because I'd never felt it. So even though I'd probably ticked it 101 times, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yeah, I guess you're you're always you you can't you're always seeking approval. But you don't know where to yeah, because you haven't had it before.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

And shouting about what you do as well. So, like I used to be like peacocky, do you know what I mean? I what everything I did, I would tell people, I was like, look, I've done this, I've done that, and I would shout about things because I was just wanting somebody to go, like, well done, that's amazing. And it made me probably look quite a cocky person, if you know what I mean. Like I was shouting about all these accolades, and that's not who I am. I'm not that type of person, but it was obviously me as a younger person was just like somebody please love me, please give me some acceptance.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

So the old version of you do you feel like you've discarded, you feel oh no, she's still there every day.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

She's still there, she's still there, but we have a little understanding now. So it's honestly only been in the last kind of few years that I've really started to understand where all of this has come from, and like the reparenting has been a massive thing of it, of understanding that like I'm really into psychology and things, so understanding about how you know, like your subconscious is 95% of your brain, and how that most of that's formed before the age of eight. And obviously, at that point, I'm in a volatile household where I wasn't getting and getting a 10, and like in that so that little Gina, we call her little little Gina, is still there because she's still crying out, going, I need love, I need acceptance, I need to know that you know I'm wanted, I'm enough. And so she still sits there, but when she kind of comes, I'm like, now I'm like, as me, Gina, adult Gina, I'm like, it's all right, you know, we've got this, like you don't need to kind of worry about those things, but it's still a conscious thing that I have to really pick up on. And there's still times where something will happen, I'll react like an eight-year-old, and I see it's happening, but I can't stop it. It's just such a quick thing, and like my reactions because I'm like, it is that thing of like they're not accepting me, they don't love me, they don't want me, I'm not good enough. That's then my initial reaction to a lot of things. So when certain things happen, or you know, when you get like a little bit of negative something back at you, and you're just like, oh, and it is like a wounded child, but now I understand it, it's something that's gonna take time, but I'm working on it, but at least I understand where it's come from. Whereas before I used to just be like, What's wrong with me? Why why am I so like emotional with certain things? Like other things that can be as blooming hard as a stone. Do you know what I mean? But other things that trigger is, it's just like, what on earth? But now it's having that understanding, and I think that's so important, but I think that comes with age because you've had the time to start seeing these patterns, and then you've got time to start digging into things, and it's such a long process to then uncover like what's going on. And like I say, I mean, I'm 46 this year, and I only found out about reparenting at the back end of last year. Never even now it's this whole new thing where I'm just like, oh my god, like obviously it's all psychology and stuff, which like I say, I'm a bit of a psychology nerd, so it's really interesting. But I'm like, I can see now exactly what's going on. Fair enough, at the minute I can't stop it. Sometimes I can catch it, but at least when it's happening, I understand it, and then I can go from there and go, right, okay, what do we need to do?

SPEAKER_01 12:48

That's deep.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

It's very deep. It is, it's it's like I say, it's work. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Without a doubt. Yeah. Do you think it um it quietly cost you anything over the years?

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Without a doubt, yeah. I mean, I had very few like friendship groups and things. I used to kind of, I think because I was always masking, I was always showing I was a different person. So like I think I said about it on stage. So when I went to school, like we didn't really have any money. So like a lot of my friends where I grew up is a place where there's a lot of affluence and then there's poverty, and so there's one school. So you've got really, really, really affluent kids going to school with kids with nothing. And so my friends were in big posh houses, their parents drove posh cars, they had all the latest gear, and like I didn't have any of that, and so it was like, how do you hide things? Like, and people, I don't know whether you'll remember, there was a shop called Winners, and this is before home bargains and all that, and it was like a cheap shop where people saw no makes. But back then, if your mother or father was seen wash shopping in winners, it was like a dig at you. So it was like your mom shops in winners, and one day my mom had put my PE kit in a winner's carrier bag, and so going to school for that, do you know what I mean? Things like that. Like, you know, my friends would have cans of pop, I'd have a recycled bottle with juice in it, do you know what I mean? Like things like that. I couldn't have um like school meals, so there was always that. So I used to, I used to lie, I did used to lie to people about what were had and what were didn't, and like literally would never have been picked up from school, do you know what I mean? And like people, very few people came back to my house. Like it was like, you know, this is who I am, this persona. And like I'd go and try and go through charity shops to try and find makes of things so I could try and fit in. Um, and I always remember so kickers, you'll remember kickers when they were in fashion in the 90s and everybody had kickers, and I was like, oh my god, I want kickers, but they were really expensive. And my mum, bless her, my mum worked her socks off. And about a year after the kickers trend was kind of dying down, bless her, she'd been and saved and saved, and she'd bought me some kickers, but they were brown, not black. Oh no, and so I felt horrendous because she'd like literally, you know, like my mum, bless her, had nothing. She used to just not get anything for herself. Do you know what I mean? And I was just like, oh my god. And so I wore these brown kickers because I didn't want to upset her, but then at school, it was just like, why the brown not black, and everybody's gone over them and like, oh, they're so last year, and it was things like that. So I used to try my hardest. So, like, yes, I would say it definitely cost me a lot of friendships and things like that because I would never let people in because I didn't want to see them see what was going on at home, I didn't want them to know what I was growing up in, and like now I can talk about it, but obviously, when you're a teenager, like it's just so so hard. And yeah, so like I say, I had a very small friendship group and then it's carried on as an adult kind of again. I've got a lot of people that I know. I know loads of people when I say, Oh, I've got a friend, I've got a friend, but they're not really anybody I pick the phone up and say, you know, this has happened. Can I have so I've got loads and loads of them people that's around me, but very, very few people who really know kind of me.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Yeah, I'd say I'd say I'm the same. I've got a lot of people I know. A very like count on one hand how many people I could phone up and say help you know or actually know the stories that that make you.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

I think as well. I suck to think as like because of the way I grew up, I became so independent, like fiercely independent. Like I could look after myself mainly from the age of 10. Do you know what I mean? I could clean for myself, I could do me washing, I even was ironing, do you know what I mean? I would c cook stuff. I literally learned to look after myself, and so I'm very fiercely, fiercely independent that way because I had to be, because it was a survival, you know, nobody else was going to do it for us, so I decided to do it for myself. So now I think that's the other thing is like it it is that hard thing as well of you know, don't get us wrong. I know when to ask for help business wise and stuff, and I've started getting better personally, but it's still really hard. Like I've got a major control thing because I'm so used to it, and like try and, you know, when somebody else sort of says something, you're a bit like, oh god, I don't want to admit they're right. It's that little bit of control where you're just like, Oh, so yeah, I would say as much, you know, sitting here, yeah, I know that it cost us quite a lot, but I can't sit and dwell on it, if you know what I mean. Like, I've kind of go, that was the past, it's happened. The only person it hurts by me kind of clinging onto it is me. So it's that thing of like, I have to accept that my mum and dad did the best that they could with what they had, and that they had underlying things going on. Um, and that that's taken me until in my 40s. Like I was very bitter before that. Like, and it's taken me till like now to kind of go, Do you know what? Like, actually, there's other things going on. You know, I haven't spoken to my dad for like 25 years. I don't have a relationship with him, but I don't have any like negativity towards him now, if that makes sense. Whereas before, if I spoke about him, I'd be like, brrr, you know what I mean? I'd be like all this stuff. Whereas now I'm just like, you know what, he had shit going on as well.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

That's the thing I don't think we realise when you're growing up as a kid what your parents are going through. They're just they're just your mum and dad, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00 18:37

Mm-hmm. Exactly. But even like what's going on in their heads, yeah, and as well, like even though to them they were older when they had kids, because like mum mum was 27, my dad was 28 when I was born, but that's older for them, you know what I mean? Because a lot of their friends were having kids like in like late teens, early 20s, but still I'm going, God almighty, like your mid-20s, you're still young, yeah, you know, like and things like that. And I just look at it and I just go, Yeah, I've got a lot more compassion now and a lot more understanding, and there's no blame, there's no blame at all. I just kind of go, it was what it was, and you know, it wouldn't be what I don't think they would have chosen that, probably looking back now. And that's what you've kind of got to go with. Because I was just like, I sat in so much hatred and shit for so long. Do you know what I mean? Like, I would say because of what happened like with my relationship, because my ex was obviously very controlling, very like verbally abusive, and then it turned into physical abuse, and obviously I'd had verbal abuse from my dad. Like, I kind of sat in my early 30s, like you know, kind of you know, when you're just quite happy to wallow in it and be like, I was quite an angry person, and then I was just like, Oh, you can it, you just can't do that because it, like I said, it doesn't hurt anybody but you, it's only you that sits there, so that's kind of like oh god, it's a long period of time. But I mean, I've been in therapy, thir first therapy since I was 18, so it's it is that thing, and like I hate it, you know, when some people think, oh, it'll be a magic thing, and I'm like, it's not a magic pill, like I know that I'll be doing this work for the rest of my life. It's but as well, I'm quite liking what I'm uncovering. Like, you know, when you're like going, like there's it's not an excuse, but there's a reason, and when you can understand that and you've got that understanding, you can let go of so much, and it just makes it so much easier. So now, kind of don't get us wrong, there's still stuff that I need to work out, but I don't feel like I sit there with like anything, like I've got a lot of compassion for people, like when I see shit kicking off online and stuff, like I can sit with both sides of things and go, Do you know what? I can see both things, I can sit and I can like even when somebody so like I had somebody a few weeks ago who was really, really rude to me out of nowhere for no reason, and then even though they didn't mention my name, was posting all over online about a conversation we had, and so I knew it was about me. And I know that like even probably four or five years ago, I would have been like, oh my god, like you know, they're doing this and they're doing that, and instead I just thought, God, like what's what's happened to them that they have to react in that way? And I just I felt about like it wasn't about me. I was like, that's about them, that's a them thing. They've obviously got something going on, and I was like, I love the fact that now I've got that compassion, like I don't instantly get defensive. I'm more of a case of like what's going on in their lives. Like, I just think like, and and like I say, when I say things, like even when I don't agree with something, I just think, well, as long as it's not don't get like you know, when I see things that are really wrong, but as in, like, if I say something, I think, well, I don't really agree with that, I'm not then gonna sort of start pulling it apart. I just feel like that's their opinion, like that's for them to have. Like, I just think too many people are too confrontational at times about. stuff and I think I just have to approach things with a bit more compassion and that's what I think the best thing that's probably come out of years and years of crap has been that side of us.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

Yeah the both sides of the story. There's always two sides of the story it's never one sided.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Well say three sides there's three sides there's the two sides and the one in the middle that's probably more close out of the truth.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

And that that's the thing isn't it's like and we all see through all these different lenses and things you know like it's all to do with a past. So yeah like I say even though I know there's a lot of things it's cost us in my life I just think well going forward you know what hopefully I've still got another quite few years to deal with so I could take the good going forward.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Do you think other than uh costing you some things actually it's become your superpower it's it's pushed you and driven you to do what you wanted to be able to do.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

I see I always think that everything happens for a reason and that kind of whether it's good or bad you if as long as you learn from it then it's like yes so I wouldn't be where I am I wouldn't be the person I was if I hadn't gone through all of that. And obviously we can't go back and change things so it's much more of a like I said an acceptance and a you know that not blame or anything. So then now I just think well yeah do you know what I know that I am a ridiculously organized person like because I needed because I needed that control and that you know what I mean that order in my life then now I'm really really really organized. But actually that's that is a superpower of mine now. Like it is something that I'm actually really proud about like the amount of people that have said like we've known organized people but like never to your level and like with the edge the amount of people that's involved that come back going oh my god like we've never been involved in an event that's so organized and had such clear communication and we're like this is really good. So yes there's like those positives definitely and yeah I'd like I say I'm very much now of the opinion that you know everything as long as you've learned from it you've just got to kind of go it it's part of who you are now and yeah I think like I say I'm getting to the point of liking who I am as a person now. And that's that has come from all that but it's also come from doing the work in order to understand it and in order to process it and know where it's come from. But also like I say definitely an age thing. Like some people are really worried about age and then I'm like oh my god the older you get sometimes I just go the more comfortable I am with who I am and the more understanding I've got and actually the just the more I feel like I can kind of cope with things and deal with things and yeah I think that's another thing but yeah I mean I hope I've got quite a few superpowers out of it. I'd say you have um where did you I'm you know you've had the you're doing this reparenting thing and you've had um therapy was there uh a point I don't know maybe in the past five years two years year that you felt things have started to shift my biggest thing was probably so I turned 40 during COVID so obviously turning 40 is a thing you know that you're just kind of a bit like you don't know yeah it's one of those things because you're just like I was like right you know what I'm like I'm not young and I'm not saying 40 is not young but you're not like a young young person anymore you're kind of going into that middle aged section where you're kind of like you're off like who am I what am I like I had the whole things about well do I need to change my hair do I need to change what I wear because I'm now in my 40s. I had that going on but obviously we're in the middle of COVID and every the world was upside down and topsy turvy and I've always had anxiety but my health anxiety went like off the charts and it was quite a tough time through the lockdowns and things because I was so anxious but then I also found comfort in being lockdown because I was like well nobody can give us anything like I'm safe so I was like in this little bubble and I think that's like I did a lot of reading a lot of research I was like I'd tried CBT and things like that and I was like these aren't working like things haven't happened and there was just like a quiet realization through that time that I needed to change things and that it was going to have to come from me. So even though I'd you know when you go I know all this stuff I'm just not doing it like I've got all this knowledge like I am an avid reader I love reading so much stuff like I go and research things like if I'm interested about something I'm straight in and like googling it and what can I read about it and asking for stuff and I was like I've got all this knowledge and I'm just not doing anything. I'm just sitting here and yeah so I think honestly it was like turning 40 and all the COVID stuff and like everything that went on like with society and stuff was just like it was like these big seismic things all happening all at the same time and like colliding and like I said like after I lost everything and I was sitting in the flat of my own and there was just something inside of us that went like I need to restart my business was the same through like that I was just like something needs to come out of this I need to do something and it's like there's just some sort of driver inside of me somewhere that kicks in and goes right come on we're gonna deal with this and that's when I was like right I'd always stayed away from what we call woo. Do you know what I mean? Because I'm very science based but I started looking into science behind different things like what people had categorized as woo and I was like wait a minute the science behind this the science behind that like I haven't tried this before if I'm more open but probably about 18 months ago was the biggest thing with the woo stuff where I was like I realized I'd again I'd been researching I had the stuff but I wasn't doing it because it was going to open Pandora's box and it was going to open some of those things that I'd put the lid on and was dealing with and you know when you're like so I'd stayed away um so definitely over the last 18 months is when I've gone into the stuff that I've found the hardest like who I am like why I react in those ways which is why the reparent came up it also um I had my first sound bath which I was like this is nice they're good but yeah and you know like things like that but I was like but again I'd read science behind it and so yeah I was like definitely I would say through COVID something shifted but the last 18 months is where I've really gone and started putting things into place and actually doing some more other stuff. So even though I've had the classical therapy now I'm looking very more about more holistic stuff and kind of stuff like you say that I was very much like this is all just you know like new age stuff like you know like at first if somebody had said about reparent it was about five years ago I would have been like what yeah whatever so yeah yeah that's definitely a new one honestly like when somebody first mentioned it I was probably just like still because I like I say it was about 18 months ago somebody had first mentioned it and I was a bit like yeah yeah like I've not heard of that either and then I did a little bit of digging and then I met somebody who literally that's what she specialises in and had a couple of sessions and you know when you just feel something after a session and you just like the way they said it really hit home and I think when you find the right person that's saying the thing that you need to hear at the right time and it just all kind of did and then she sent me like a few little videos to watch about it and explain things and you know when you just like it it was very much like so I've got Rid which a lot of people don't know what RFID is but it's called avoidant restrictive food intake disorder and it's a sensory um food like basically it's an eating disorder but it's sensory and I've had that for years and just thought I was a picky eater. And when I had the assessment for it she was asking these questions and it was like tick tick tick and she was like right if you've got ROFID normally you'll tick like sort of five or more out of these 10 things well I tick nine so I was like oh bloody hell so when I was doing this repair and thing with her when she was saying stuff it was like these little ticks were going off in my brain when she was like this and she's explaining things and I'm like that's me that's me that's me and I was like oh my god like all of these things make sense and I was like but it's having that open mind and being able to self-identify but I still think it's the right person at the right time and you just find those things when you're ready for them.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Yeah definitely yeah things come to find you when you actually really need it.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Yeah and that's a bit woo I guess but uh you see if you look at physics the law of physics and things like that like energy and stuff like that and I just think like if you're putting energy out you retract the energy so that is the law of physics and like I say I am no matter what I do I have to look at the science behind it because my you know obviously as was said my subconscious the 95% of my brain that just decides to do whatever it does in the background that I've got no control over that's like looking for the science that's we need evidence to show that this is going to work and so that's where I go digging in but I can find so much evidence now and that's what I love is the fact that now there is more and more evidence around this stuff and more and more people really interested in it. Like if you think 10 years ago Free Sappen had this conversation could you imagine people would just be laughing the socks off at work like whatever like them two are crazy. Do you know what I mean? Whereas now it's like it's so accepted that this is actually true. It's real. It's you know but 10 years ago this is the people that have been working in them fields for years and years and years I just feel like my God like you must have really had a such a strong willpower and knowing of what you were doing because it hasn't been very long that people have accepted widely like this side of things. Yeah it's crazy um so what do you what do you know now that you didn't before about yourself I'm more I would say that I am enough like I can finally say that even if I didn't achieve anything more than what I do now I'm a kind person I'm compassionate I always put others not always before myself but I tend to but as in not without having a negative effect on me if that makes sense um I always do what I feel is right like and I stand up for things that are you know if I see injustices and things I do stand up for the things that I believe in. So I would just say that yeah like after years and years of always wanting somebody else to tell us now I can sit and go you know what I'm not perfect nobody is but I'm a pretty decent person you know I've got people you know that you know and that's the thing like I'm like it's lovely when other people agree but I don't need that like I used to like now I can sit in myself and go like honestly what was it it'll be about three three and a half years ago I sat in a therapist office cry and saying I didn't like myself and she was like why and we picked it all apart and then I started answering my own questions and I was like do you know what I don't like myself because it's ingrained in me to not like myself not because I actually don't like myself and I was like because you know as a little kid you know that's like being self-absorbed or you know all of that like you know you can't blow your own trumpet and little girls should be seen and not heard and keep it all in and you couldn't say nice things about yourself because it's big headed and now I'm like you know what yes I'm not perfect I make mistakes but when I make a mistake I always try and learn from it. I'm open minded I love having conversations with people I love learning stuff I'll admit when I'm wrong bloody hell that's a big one because before I would fight you tooth and nail just to bloody prove that I was right even if I was wrong and I knew it inside so things like that. So now I sit in myself and I just go I try my best and that's all any of us can do yeah definitely so if someone was listening right now what um what would you say to them be compassionate with yourself. Like we are what our own worst critics like when I hear something in my head that's negative I think would I say that to somebody I love like and I literally now stop myself and this is something that I do as a daily thing whenever I start criticizing myself I think if that was somebody I loved would I actually say that to them and when you stop yourself and you start interrupting that pattern and realizing actually that's so destructive. So I would say just be compassionate be curious as well if you think like why do I react like that or why does this happen start getting curious start looking in like Dr Google is never right about everything but at least it's a starting point of going you know like I've even you've got to be careful what you put in AI even with your restrictions obviously no personal stuff but I've gone in and kind of gone like I've reacted like this and like is there something behind it? Is there anything known? Is there something I can look into and used it to sort of like start researching because like reparenting like I said I've never heard of it. I was just like I'm reacting like a child at times why am I being like a toddler so yeah just be curious be compassionate know that you know just who you are now doesn't mean that you're gonna be that person forever. If there's something that you do want to change there's a like you know you can do it. And I think like I say we're we're own worst critics at times and I still honestly believe 99% of humans are genuinely nice people like I do think that society shapes us far too much. We see too much negativity we jump on but I don't honestly think that most people have got badness in them. I think just things pull it out so I still have this whole thing of like I I give people trust straight away if they break it they've lost it but I don't I don't say people earn my trust I want to trust people I want to think the best of people and I just think that that's another good thing for people just have that little bit of like I say being a human again like just trust your instincts trust your guts go go with it and like I say just really really be compassionate with yourself it's like a biggest thing.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Yeah that's so true.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Trusting your instincts trusting your gut trusting that people aren't all idiots and no but it's that thing isn't it's all like this is going into psychology but your reticular activating system so in your head you've got something that's always looking for evidence. So if you believe something your reticular activating system is always looking for proof that that's right. So if you it's that thing of like you go out and you say all right I never see a blue car you'll see hundreds of blue cars. And if you go out and you think everybody's bad you're always looking for evidence that people are bad. But the newspapers the media good stuff doesn't really sell papers or you know get clicks online. It's all bad stuff. So like that's what's happening and your brain's being sort of dumb but like when you think about it you hear one bad thing and there's like a million good things that's happened that day that people have done that are good. You just don't hear about it. And so it's it's knowing that as well that you know I I honestly you know loads of people sit here and think my god we've got these wars going on and there's all this stuff and I'm like but look at the good that comes out of it like as in look at the other side of all the other people that's doing the good stuff. Like there's there's so many positive stories as well like and I just refuse to sit in the bad stuff and I just go like the other day I was feeling a little bit like because it'd been on about the war and you know ambulance it's on BBC one it's like the documentary. I put that on because to me I'm like God almighty you see these people who get spat at attacked you know sworn at they're trying to do their jobs but in the worst possible moment of somebody's life they're there given that care where they get paid a pittance they've got it's something like 65% of ambulance workers now have got PTSD do you know what I mean like and you just like look at what they do and I was like that is the best of humanity you're seeing that side and I just think go and look for the positive go and look for those little moments where you just go oh my god do you know what there's some people out there that like I just want to go and hug and be like you are amazing like anybody that works in the NHS I just want to hug like you know and go what on earth like people in emergency services I'm like you know what yeah they put themselves to every day I'm like these people are freaking amazing like go and look at them stop looking at all the bad you know go and look at these people that are like doing amazing good out there and they just think that's their everyday they don't see it. People who works for who work for cancer charities or a friend of mine she works she goes and works at Mermillan once yeah like hospice care like she goes and makes tea and you know anybody volunteering I was watching um again it was on the news and it was a little village hall somewhere down south and these seven blokes had started up a coffee club and the whole village now goes two of them have diagnosed with terminal cancer but they wanted they volunteer every single week and go and you know host coffee morning they were like well nobody expects men to do it and I'm like look at what they're doing do you know what I mean like and the whole village is coming out like they started off with like a few people and I think there's about 80 people go to this coffee morning now like it's getting bigger and bigger and I was like this is the stuff that we need to remember goes on.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Yeah like there's so many good people out there and yeah I think like modern society sets us up to see the bad and we give too much time to the worse stuff than other people are doing the bad stuff than to the people who are doing the good things.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Mm-hmm exactly and it's so easy like I say for your brain to go and look for it because that's what we're set up to do. Sometimes I feel like the media just sets you up to fail. So absolutely yeah I don't even watch news anymore it's just too depressing. I don't watch live telly very often I record everything so I can fast forward to adverts I can watch like on streaming and stuff and I don't have to see all that stuff like Graham was laughing at us last night because we're watching something and one of the animal charities came up and I was like I can't watch those nope nope I have to walk out the room fast forward and he was like he was like you just give every penny you had to the animals I was like yes well I think we're about we're about time up I think just about no that's gone really fast. Um so where can everybody find you because obviously we've got the edge coming up very soon um and then the one in Newcastle yes so um yeah where can everybody find you online so obviously Gina Trick luckily is a very kind of easy name to find so I am on LinkedIn I'm on Facebook I'm on Instagram they're like my three that I'm on we do have an edge account but it's just getting going so if you come and follow me you can find anything about what I do. I'm also in the middle of a rebrand at the minute so there'll be lots of exciting new bits popping up and then yeah the edge so we've got 23rd of April in London then we've got the 7th of October in Newcastle and we've got a new one for London coming next year as well so which will be getting announced very very soon. So yeah so and obviously there's lots of this goes on because I like doing talking stories so on Instagram it's always quite funny because you get to see the behind the scenes I love it.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

Well I'll drop the um I'll drop your links in the show notes so everyone can come and find you and yeah thank you again so much for being being my speaker at the um at the event last year it was it was wonderful to have you on stage and sharing your story.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

And sharing your story today it was terrifying on stage you get us up to talk about strategy I'm no problem whatsoever get us to talk about all that and I was just like oh my god what's going on I was like a nervous wreck but no it was amazing amazing group of people and we've kept in touch with so many of them um and it brought together just the best of the best and did what I said it brought good humanity together like to prove that there's good people out there because the group of people who still support each other and I see it all the time not just on a WhatsApp and things actually out in the open online I see everybody still supporting each other and that's like a huge thing for me. Like it's what I'm all about just you know you can help people and still as you're rising bring people with you help them.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Absolutely well thank you Gina so much and we will speak to you very very soon. Thank you see ya thank you for listening to stories from behind the mask the parts we edit out are the ones that matter the most if something in this conversation stayed with you let it you don't need to rush to fix or frame it. And if you're in a season of unmasking and finding your story know this. You don't have to do it all at once. I'm Joanna and I'll see you next time