Stories From Behind the Mask - The parts we edit out
Step behind the polished surfaces and curated feeds. This is where we hear the stories we usually keep to ourselves — the doubts, the triumphs, the moments that shaped us. Each episode, I sit down with bold entrepreneurs, creators, and change-makers to uncover the parts they’ve edited out, the truths they rarely share, and the lessons that transformed them.
If you want to see people as they really are — messy, human, and extraordinary — this is your front-row seat.
Stories From Behind the Mask - The parts we edit out
Episode 18 - Nerissa Heald - Leadership and Empowerment Consultant
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Nerissa has spent much of her life hiding behind strength, competence, and perfection. As a manager, a friend, and a leader, she smiled through exhaustion, fear, and self-doubt, believing that being “the strong one” was the only way to be seen, respected, and safe. Her mask projected confidence, resilience, and control - yet beneath it, fear of rejection, invisibility, and not belonging ran deep.
Her journey has been marked by people-pleasing, corporate silencing, and health battles, including colitis that left her bedridden. These experiences forged a determination to help women reclaim their voice, set boundaries, and embrace their worth. She has been broken, betrayed, and tested - yet she continues to rise, unapologetically embracing both her strength and vulnerability.
For Nerissa, true visibility is showing the face behind the armour, speaking even when her voice trembles, and allowing the world to see the human beneath the success. Her story is one of rebellion, courage, and authenticity: a testament to surviving hardship, learning from it, and helping others find their own power along the way.
Nerissa hid behind strength, perfection, and over-giving, masking fear, illness, and heartbreak. Now she stands unapologetically in her truth, showing that vulnerability and resilience can coexist, and that true worth is not up for negotiation.
https://www.nerissaheald.co.uk/
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www.joannawoodphotography.co.uk
www.instagram.com/joannawoodphotography
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-wood-photography-6747a7235/
https://www.facebook.com/joanna.wood.13/
Hi, I'm Joanna, and this is Stories from Behind the Mask, the parts we edit out. Every week I'll be sitting down with entrepreneurs who've built businesses, created legacies, and dare to show up in the world. And we talk about the stories they usually keep to themselves. The doubts, the wins, the personal challenges, the moments that changed everything. This is about being seen, unpolished, and completely real. So, if you're ready for honesty and truth, it's time to share today's story from behind the mask.
SPEAKER_01Happy Wednesday. It's another story from Behind the Mask. And today we have my fabulous friend and unmasker, Narissa Heald. Good morning, Narissa. Good morning. How are you doing? Good. How are you? I am good, thank you. Good, good. And so uh Narissa was part of my Unmasked project last year, and obviously today we are talking a bit more about her and who she is. So, Narissa, just give us a brief intro about who you are, what you do, and yeah, a bit about your journey.
SPEAKER_03Well, do you know what? Before we start, Joe, I don't know whether you realised, but it was actually almost to the day, this time last year, that we did my photo shoot in Birmingham. And that wasn't. Yeah, because it was the 11th of June. But it was a Wednesday, so yeah, it's a year. And that was very much the start of seeing how photographs can really help you in your business. And that was one of the reasons that I went and did Unmasked. So we might say mask slightly different, but yeah, it's the same thing. Unmasked. Yeah, so there you go. I didn't think, don't know whether you realize that, but um so yeah, hi, I have come from a varied background, big corporate career. Um, lots of putting pressure on myself, I guess, through that corporate career and before that corporate career, to eventually almost burning myself out and finally getting to a point in 2020 where um I had a bit of an unfortunate uh thing happened during COVID in that I got a dental infection and it flared up a long-term condition that I'd got because of burnout, which is ultraspiccolitis. Um, and I was really kind of put into a corner where I had to take voluntary redundancy at the end of 2020. Um it was a little company that I worked for. I worked for Coca-Cola. So, yeah, there's always bits of Coca-Cola in my background because once it's in your blood, it's in your blood. Do I drink Pepsi? If I have to. Um it's still there. So, yeah, so what did I do? When I left there in 2020, I was on a long road to recovery and I knew that I needed to slow down and then knew it would probably be two to three years of recovery. Um, but I decided I wanted to start my own business, and I'd watched one of my team do an e-commerce business. He created an e-commerce store for golf gear, and he'd been incredibly successful. I was like, you know what? I could do something similar. Um, and yoga had really helped me to recover and brought me back into myself. I'd done a lot of mindfulness breath work through um a holistic doctor, actually, um, who was part of the hospital. So I decided to design my own yoga mats and I created a brand called Carmen Chilled, which was the ironic opposite of Coca-Cola. Um, and off I went and I imported the products, I designed my own brand, and I thought, you know what? This is easy. I replaced my Coke salary in six months. That's what I'd actually thought. Right. We're six years on now, right? Um, and I I also know, you know, people like Stephen Bartlett talk about failure and learning from failure, and he has a head of failure and all of that sort of stuff. And that really resonates with me now because I made a lot of mistakes in running Carmen Chilled. And I've still got it, it's there on Etsy at the moment. But I bought a thousand water bottles to go with my yoga maps, right? Big, huge error. I've still got about 250, I'd say, in the garage. Um, but I still have that, and it was a huge learning curve, and that was that was part of my kind of initial coming out of corporate. Um, and then three years on, I realized, you know what, I need I need more. Um, and I'd been a sales manager for a very long time. Um, and I loved managing people, I loved helping them grow, learn, enhance their selling skills, get to where they wanted to be. I was a bit of a mom to my team as well. So they wouldn't wouldn't just come to me for their selling skills, they'd come to me for all sorts of problems. And I'd sit in a car next to them all day, like nurturing them. Um, and I kind of missed that element. So I started uh naristaal coaching in 2023, which is uh helping entrepreneurs and SMEs actually to find confidence and to really enhance their own selling skills. Because if you've got a business, if you're not selling, it's not a business, it's just a hobby. So a lot of people could benefit from the skills that I'd learned over those 22 years at Coca-Cola, and I started doing that, um, which has been really good and another learning curve, another huge learning curve. Um, and added to that last year by becoming a firewalk and empowerment coach as well, which is like right up my street, sort of getting people high energy and go, go, go and motivated and all of that kind of stuff. So, in a whistle stop tour, that is that is me. Um yeah, and I've learned a lot along the way, but a huge part of that has been taking that taking that mask, mask off, um has been huge in the last six years, I would say, because the mask was was firmly on in my corporate days, uh, like many people that work in corporate.
SPEAKER_01So is there a version of yourself that you had to present at Coke? 100%. 100%.
SPEAKER_03And to be honest, it wasn't my best self. Um, I can honestly sit here and say I was not well liked at Coke. I was very competitive and had a lot of ideas. And now, since leaving there and understanding myself more, so I've done a lot of work around things like human design, which I'm a projector in human design. And the biggest thing with projectors is they're misunderstood because projectors can sit at a meeting table and know the answer before anyone else. Now, if you're not invited to share your opinion on that, you just sound like a know-it all, and people just roll their eyes at you and dismiss you. Your boss feels threatened by you and just tries to bring you down all the time, and that is basically what happens not all the time, but but quite a lot of the time, yeah. And I think if that if if I'd realised that part about myself before then, my life could have been quite different at Coke, and I do things differently now, yeah. So it's you do have to present yourself in a certain way in corporate, and that that is the way it is. And and and they were very much like particularly towards the end, um, there was more initiatives coming on board about being yourself, but yeah, there's still a there's still a way to go, I would say. Do you think it costs you anything? Yeah, it costs you a piece. Um, and in my case, it cost me my health because the frustration levels and stress levels of constantly being opposed by people or people trying to kind of catch you out, if you like, or not seeing the good in what you're trying to do. That that does that cost you a night's sleep, it costs you several nights' sleep. And what that did to me over the years was yeah, make me ill. Very, very, very ill. So it's a huge cost, yeah, a huge cost. And I think sometimes you have to care less. And what I mean by that is not not don't care about things, but actually let things go over you sometimes. And what I've learned certainly since leaving the corporate world is in it isn't always me. It might be something that I'm triggering in someone else to create that reaction, but it's about my reaction is what counts. So, you know, event plus reaction equals outcome. That's a jack, Jack Canfield thing. Um, so it's always watching your reactions, isn't it? And catching yourself and thinking, well, why do I feel like that? And that's something that I've done a lot of work on since I've left the corporate side. Um yeah, pay dividends.
SPEAKER_01Well, if we're a mask, we had to do your story, and you said that you spent much of your life tiding behind strength, competence, and perfection. Did you find that growing up as a a young girl?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think um growing up, um, my dad particularly was very much um a perfectionist, still is, um, and wanted the very best for me. I was an only I'm I am an only child, still am. Um, but not just an only child in my immediate family, but the only child in the whole family. So all eyes were on me growing up, and there was an awful lot of you need to try your absolute hardest in everything. Um, and and that played out later on where I went to university, um, didn't meet the best crowd of people, but ploughed on right to year four on my own, um, turning up every day, complete solitude, sitting in lectures on my own, you know, and actually the stronger thing to have done probably would have been right, let's come home and move universities, even take a gap year, take the pressure off yourself because it doesn't have to be perfect, and you don't have to just show this face of strength where you know you can turn around and say, this is not good for me, I don't want to be here, rather than crying into my pillow, you know, and and I think that there is a lot of values that get put, and it's conditioning, isn't it? Everybody has conditioning in their life. And and I think when you unpick that, I mean, this is my 50th year, I'm gonna be 50 in like two weeks' time, right? Boy, have I learned a lot in those 50 years. And the biggest things that I've learned is that it, you know, the conditioning that you have as a child, if you can look at that and understand why you're a reacting or acting in a certain way because of that conditioning, and you can course correct and you can do things differently. And the pressure that comes off your shoulders is just massive, huge. And a part of that is taking that mask off and showing the vulnerability and sometimes asking for help and saying, Yeah, I need help.
SPEAKER_01What made you realise that the mask no longer fit? I need to talk about more health issues in time to tell.
SPEAKER_03Um I think because I mean if we look at if we look at the e-commerce business, calm and chills, I had that I was almost blase about the fact that it was gonna work. Now, yeah, you've got to have a positive mindset, yeah, that's part of manifestation and all of that kind of beautiful stuff, but there was there were actions there that I needed to take. Like the the failures, I guess I paid too much for my for my items, I had too many variations, I bought too many. You know, those things are key things that I've learned I've learned from. And it was almost like I was going to do it, whatever. I had my blinkers on, and that was part of the mask, really, in that I know how to do this, I can do this, if they can do it, I can do it. And that's your ego talking. And I think part of the unmasking is putting your ego to one side and saying, actually, I know I know nothing about this. I need help before I do it, I need to research it more, and I need to go in with my eyes open that actually, you know, let's catch it. If it's not working, let's bring it back in line rather than just keep plowing on. So that probably was one time that the mass started to come off where I realized, oh no, hang on a minute, this is not actually bringing in what I used to work for Coke. This is this is a hobby, and it still is a hobby now. It's my business on the side, and you know, I still love it. I still love what I created. I'm still proud of what I created. Um, but I'm not naive enough to turn around to you and go, this is a multi-million pound business. It's really not, it just ticks over and it's a nice to-do, you know. Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01What felt uncomfortable and risky?
SPEAKER_03What felt uncomfortable and risky when what when the mask starts coming off? Yeah. Oh, everything, everything feels uncomfortable and risky, doesn't it? You're I I started mixing with new people, so you're putting your trust in new people, you're quite often investing in people where coaching is concerned because you're desperate for help, and that it feels you kind of security blankets taken away from you, and it you don't you just don't know which way you're going, and it's unfamiliar territory, and nobody, you know, as a human race, we're not wired for change. We have to pull ourselves in and and you know, give us give ourselves a talking to almost when you're going through change, and and that change curve that I've learned so many times at Coke with all the corporate models, you know, you go through that fear and anger almost that things are changing or not working until you go all the way through it and then finally get to acceptance. But um yeah, it's it it all feels uncomfortable. And I think the one thing that I've learned is if it doesn't feel uncomfortable and you don't feel scared, then it's probably not big enough. So, and that's that's where I started doing more and standing on stages and mixing with more and more and more people. And I've you know, the network that I've got now is like nothing like what I had at the beginning, it's it's huge in comparison.
SPEAKER_01Is that surprising of you? So we've come out of the other side-ish, you know, always evolving, but always what's what's has anything surprised you about you?
SPEAKER_03Um yeah, my resilience, I guess, and I am I still have all that knowledge, I still have all those skills, but I'm much more discerning now about where I offer those, and I sort of listen to those invitations more now. So I guess the most surprising thing about me is like that I've I've accepted myself, and that's big for people, isn't it? Like I've accepted, well, this is who I am, but because I know that I can react differently now, so I can catch my emotions, and I used to get very, very stressed, very emotional, very hot-headed. I don't do that anymore at all, and no job, you could put me back in corporate tomorrow, and no job would do that. You know, I got offered a big corporate job three weeks ago, and because the culture was not right and the values were not right, I turned it down. Yeah, that surprises me. That's huge. That's huge, you know. Someone offers you a six-figure salary and you turn it down because you think I'm not working with people like you anymore. Not a chance. That's that's massive.
SPEAKER_01That is massive, yeah. That is huge. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or stupid, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01How do you feel like you've been in the past year since we started on last year was a nearly a year ago? I can't believe it to where you are now. It's never so different.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, very so and it started before en masse, it started at the photo shoot a year ago tomorrow. Let's be honest, because the person that turned up to that, I knew how I wanted to be portrayed, and you knew how I wanted to be portrayed. But I was never ever before that brave enough to actually do that. And you pulled me through that day, and the photos said everything. And I know in five years' time I'm still gonna get comments about those photos because people were like, Oh, yeah. And and I had it the other week, actually. Somebody looked at my website and it's full of those photos that you took, those amazing, amazing images. Um, and he said, Oh, I love, I love what you've done on your website. It's absolutely amazing. And I think you, you know, you'd fit in really well here. And it was an entrepreneurial networking thing, you just fit in so well here. Because it shows me, the real me, it wasn't the corporate me, it was me and my leather jacket and my ripped jeans. Um, so I think that was the start. And because we did that, and then went into unmasked, and you had my Pinterest board already, so we just continued that theme, didn't we? Um and bought out that cheeky comedian side of me. Um, which is like it's there, but not a lot of people, certainly not in corporate, would know that that's there. But you know, I just like to take the Mickey a little bit, and I love puns and being silly and just yeah, having fun, and and and it's all been part of it. It's just been huge. And in the last year, it's just carried on. Those images are amazing. Yeah, they've just they've changed everything.
SPEAKER_01So, what does vesiferty mean to you now? Being yourself it's a big word at the minute, everyone's saying visibility doesn't visibility that but it's got to mean something inside.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think it can it doesn't necessarily mean showing up on socials because uh it's so noisy out there at the moment, and I've actually pulled back a lot from socials. Um but visibility to me uh means just being you uh when you are out there w talking to whoever it might be, just being yourself, being unapologetically you, and knowing that if somebody doesn't like that, that's okay. You can't be everyone's cup of tea and they can't be yours. So and not letting that cause a chain reaction within you to make you then be someone you're not continuing regardless of other people's reactions because other how other people react you can't control. That's that's theirs, that's not ours. Um so for me visibility is just about standing tall, being secure in yourself and sticking to your values regardless of what other people think.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So on that note, what feels more honest and alarming would be zealons?
SPEAKER_03Um Well, I've just given you quite a lot of examples. I just won't I won't be pigeonholed into a corner to do anything, whatever the circumstance. So, you know, I am sitting here now. I have still got my e-commerce business that ticks over, but it's not, you know, that's that's fine. Leave it where it is. I've still got my coaching business, and my desire for that is to go more down the SME route and to start to help these very small startup corporates, maybe. Um, but also I'm not afraid to say I need extra income on top of that. So let's jump hunt at the same time. But what's more aligned is the fact that I'm not just going to take anything. You know, like it doesn't matter about the money, like my happiness, my health, and being able to show up to a workplace as me is more important than that. Does that answer that question?
SPEAKER_01Is there anything that feels important to say out loud here today? That you missed.
SPEAKER_03I think I've said quite a lot already. That I've been sitting on. I think don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to say I've tried this, I've done it this way, I've done it this way, and I've done it this way, and it's still not working. I need help. Because I think you'll find that many, many people stand up and go, Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. So yeah, that would be my biggest thing is don't don't be afraid to ask for help. Um surround yourself with people that are going to cheerlead and support you. Um and really evaluate the people in your life that are not doing that and make some brave decisions. Be brave and get yourself out of it.
SPEAKER_01Very good advice. Thanks for anyone. For anyone listening today, that is it's very good advice. Um so what does being a mask mean to you today? At this point.
SPEAKER_03There you go. It's that take me or leave me. Simple as that. I am what I am. I'm not gonna perform in a way that you think I should perform, whoever it is that's asking. I will be myself and I'm comfortable if you then don't wanna don't want to come with me. That's fine. Being unmasked is just being unapologetic in me. Um and nothing is going to stop me from walking that path, if you like. Nothing could make me go and be something else. Like, like, and and again, the job, me turning the job down, like they wanted me to rule by fear of a on a team, and I'm not gonna do that. So, like, you've got to be certain when you're unmasked right now, I won't be pulled in the wrong direction from anything. It doesn't matter how hard it gets, it doesn't matter how broke I am, I will carry on doing the things that light me up and pushing forward with my business and happily take something else to top my income up, but it's got to be aligned with me, it's got to add to me. And it's not just about you go for an interview, and historically people think, oh, I'm being interviewed, I've got to perform, I've got to impress them. No, when I walk into an interview, they've got to impress me. That sounds arrogant. It's not. You've got to work in that business, you're gonna commit if you're gonna go into a full-time business and commit commit like the best part of 40 hours a week, right? You've got to be happy. So why is it that these I'm getting them a high course now, but why is it some of these companies are like, oh well, no, I need to, you know, it's it's about interviewing you as to whether you're good enough to come and work for us. No, no, no. Are you good enough for me to come to you? It's two-way, it's gotta be both. There's got to be synergy. And I think that's the biggest part of being unmasked is realizing that um and having faith that the right opportunities around the corner, if you put yourself in the right places, you've got to take the action to create the opportunities, but everything happens for a reason. And yeah, just just keep going, keep going. Don't jump into things that are not aligned with you. That's what it means.
SPEAKER_01Hallelujah. I love that. Yeah, definitely going into an interview. You're you've got a bit of some work with these people, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, look for the red flags, why not? Look for the green ones too, because you're not, it's not just about being pessimistic, but if you're seeing red flags, hmm, okay, trust your gut, right? And I knew even before I went to the second interview for that one in person. I knew from the team's interview, really, it wasn't going to be right for me. But I went just to see, and it just was like, okay. Not for me. Thank you, Bad.
SPEAKER_01Not for me, not for me at all.
SPEAKER_03I walked out of that. I did actually, but and and you know what? The other thing I would say is don't be afraid to kind of like sleep on these things because I walked out of there, and as a projector with a lot of open centres, I can be influenced quite easily by other people. So I actually walked out of there, sat on the train and went, nailed that, got it. He told me he was going to offer me the job. Yes, this is it now. And then I went, but what about that that they said? And what about that that they said? And really, Narissa, do you want to actually do that? Is this in line with your values? And within 24 hours, I went, wow, but it's very it just shows, doesn't it, how initially you can get sucked into someone's and other people's ways. And as a projector, I can easily turn into the people around me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it's probably what I think a lot.
SPEAKER_03I know. I that's probably what happens when in my corporate days, you can turn into people around you. So just be aware of that and give yourself a bit of space. Come back to you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you go, oh yeah, this is a really good idea. And then you look back at it in hindsight and go, do I really want to do it? Yep.
SPEAKER_03Do I really want to personalize water bottles and make about three quid each time? No. No, don't do it. But you know, I love it by the way. Palm and chilled on Etsy. Really good quality stuff.
SPEAKER_01It's fabulous, by the way. Yeah. So um, where can everybody find Narissa?
SPEAKER_03Um, you can find me on LinkedIn, Facebook, Insta. Insta is Narissa um underscore healed underscore coaching. Facebook is just narissa healed. Um, and find me on etsy under calm and chilled, the word and then it's all one word, and it's very purple. Um yeah, and my website, narissahealed.co.uk.
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you, Narissa. That was a very um informative. I can tell you were in corporate because the way you talk.
SPEAKER_03I know, might have gone a bit backwards lately with that. I don't know. Yeah. So no, I spent the last five years trying to knock that out of me. It's um and it's really hard because I have been going for a couple of interviews lately, so you have to switch it back on again. But um, yeah, that yeah.
SPEAKER_01But it's not a bad thing. No, I don't think it's about them at all.
SPEAKER_03And that's the thing, it's accepting yourself as who you are, and and other people have tried to knock that out of me, and actually, well, that's just me, it's just part of me. Um, and you yes, okay, I've got a lot of experience in corporate, but also um you know, I have got a much softer side as well, which is yeah, and that would if I went back into that environment, that would definitely be there.
SPEAKER_01So yeah. Well, we'll have been right. Yay. Well, thank you so much for today. No worries.
SPEAKER_03Yay, it's been brilliant. Thank you very much.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for listening to stories from behind the mask. The parts we edit out are the ones that matter the most. If something in this conversation stayed with you, let it. You don't need to rush to fix or frame it. And if you're in a season of unmasking and finding your story, know this. You don't have to do it all at once. I'm Joanna, and I'll see you next time.