The War For The Family

The battlefield has entered the home, and most families do not even realize they are in a war. We sit down with James and Angela Holland of Set Apart Farms and Herbs of the Torah to talk about the spiritual warfare behind cultural pressure and how it shows up as distraction, identity confusion, anxiety, isolation, and family disconnect. If you feel like your house is loud but lonely, busy but brittle, this conversation will give you language for what is happening and a practical path forward.

We dig into why the mind is the first battleground, using Ephesians 6 and 2 Corinthians 10 to explain strongholds and the daily work of taking thoughts captive. We also tackle media and attention head-on: phones and algorithms “disciple” kids and parents for hours a day, often faster than churches or families do. James shares what he sees when fathers lose purpose and discipline, and why boys without challenge and masculine mentorship will still search for it, just in all the wrong places.

Angela brings the health and wellness lens, connecting spiritual pressure to the body: exhausted moms running on caffeine and cortisol, families overwhelmed by processed foods and nonstop input, and kids who are overstimulated and undernourished. We talk slower living, real food, clean habits, prayer rhythms, and simple schedules that calm the nervous system and create room for God’s peace. We also share a practical tool for rebuilding connection: intentional, screen-free meals and table talk that trains gratitude, respect, stewardship, and self-control.

If this strengthens you, subscribe, share it with a friend who feels overwhelmed, and leave a review so more families can find help and start rebuilding from the inside out.

Transcript

Welcome And War For Family

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Living Inside Out Radio Show with John Peek.

SPEAKER_08 0:16

Welcome to Living Inside Out Radio. I'm your host, John Peake. Thank you for being here today. Our show today is the war for the family, winning the battle from the inside out. We've got a lot of scripture that ties into this because after all, it is a battle of spiritual warfare, so you would expect that we need the spiritual tools. So today's really about where faith, family, and freedom and leadership come together. Here on Living Inside Out, we believe the battle is won or lost in the mind first. We are raising warriors, not spectators, but disciplined families, not distracted families, men and women, little boys and girls, and who live from the inside out spiritually, mentally, physically, relationally, and financially. So we're going to expose the spiritual warfare behind many of the cultural attacks that are destroying marriages, confusing children, weakening men, and exhausting women, isolating people, and distracting entire families from God's design. And joining me today are our friends James and Angela Holland from Set Apart Farms and Herbs of the Torah. So welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having us both together.

SPEAKER_07 1:21

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_08 1:26

I don't know how many people are listening, but you know, it's obviously going to go out to a lot of on a lot of different platforms. And so I think it's some of the most important work we can do where we talk to families about the spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, financial, and start building them up a little bit at a time. So the battlefield has entered the home. There's no doubt about that. Most families don't even realize they're in a war. And we each have our own testimonies about that. And in particular, we as we were talking before we started the show, that you could be in a spiritual battle, and because you're not a spiritually minded person, or let me put it another way, you're not operating under the Holy Spirit given by Jesus Christ. You have another type of spiritual warfare going on that is causing you to be to be blinded.

Spiritual Warfare And The Real Enemy

SPEAKER_08 2:10

And because we don't recognize the war, we're fighting the wrong enemy. So in Ephesians 6.12, it says, For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities of darkness. So the real battle is spiritual, and spiritual warfare always manifests in the culture. I can remember as a teenager getting off course pretty fast, pretty fast. And really before I was a teenager, I was already experiencing spiritual warfare in the family, through the marriage of my parents. But again, you know, you don't really realize it. But there was something interesting that was happening to me personally when the spiritual, when it would manifest obviously. For example, in the rock and roll music, ACDC had a song Highway to Hell. And even though I wasn't following Jesus, there was something about that that was like, I don't like that. I am not, even though I was actually manifesting all the behavior on it and not even being a believer, so it truly was on the Highway to Hell, but I didn't like the song. I didn't like what it stood for. Van Halen had a song, uh, Running with the Devil, and I was like, nah, not that. Even though I was discernment. It's funny, I didn't even know I had uh there, but you know, God has his hands on us in so many ways we don't even realize. But I do remember exiting a Van Halen concert, and they were handing out the the pamphlets, you know, kind of like the chick publications. They had various type of and they're handing out about that very song, Running with the Devil, and evangelizing it, people coming out of the concert. So, you know, it's interesting how God places people in certain roles, and he's done that today with the three of us, to broadcast and use media as a powerful platform to create light, to bring light into people's lives. The

Culture’s Attacks On Identity And Home

SPEAKER_08 3:52

enemy attacks our identity, he attacks truth, family structure, masculinity, femininity, children, attention, peace purpose. He counterfeits all these things and brings all kinds of uh confusion. He doesn't need to destroy a nation overnight. The enemy just has has to slowly weaken the family. As the family goes, so does the the nation. So look what families are facing today. Endless digital distraction, pornography, social media addiction, isolation, anxiety, fatherlessness, fatherlessness, uh, over medication, identity confusion, rage culture, entertainment replacing discipleship, parents outsourcing mentorship to screens, to other people, to groups, to societies, to sports teams, to martial arts schools. Uh they want somebody else to do it for them. And so many people don't even realize there is a spiritual warfare. So this is a question to James. James, you work with families and veterans, men dealing with trauma and identity loss, and what are you seeing happen to families when they lose purpose, discipline, and connection?

SPEAKER_04 5:00

Um,

When Fathers Disconnect And Drift

SPEAKER_04 5:01

you know, when families lose purpose, discipline, connection, the home slowly turns into a dog. I think we've we've discussed this once before. I see a lot of disconnected fathers, right? Men who love their families, but feel so overwhelmed. And sometimes even ashamed that they check out instead of leaning in like they should. And they're they're they're physically, like mentally and spiritually they're somewhere else. And when a man loses purposely dressed, um, and you know, often fill the boy with whatever is rolling, getting drinking, becoming a workaholic, or addiction, anything that comes within feeling useful and uh instead of confronting the actual world. Right, and the whole family feels like a leader or the whole family. The leader would come back every early, uh anything to read that they feel online. Um protecting the physical after her defeating show up. And so on the outside all you know, it looked like normal life. But everyone's in different rooms, right? Everyone's on on different screens, and you know, spiritually it's a house of everything. And um, you know, what what we've seen is that when you reintroduce the purpose of the discipline connection, something really powerful happens, right? You get a man back into the world and to the word of God, and you get him moving his body, and you get him meaningful work to do and and and align him with his purpose, and surround him with his brothers and tell him the truth, um, and his clarity starts to come back.

SPEAKER_08 6:43

That's that's amazing.

Strongholds And Taking Thoughts Captive

SPEAKER_08 6:44

That's powerful we talk a lot about when we talk about spiritual warfare, we talk about strongholds. And Second Corinthians 10, 3 and 4 talks about this very thing. It says, For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. You think about that, I you mean I can have the power to control my thoughts? You can. God can give you the power to take every thought captive. That's really the starting point, that that willingness to stop and surrender to the Holy Spirit instead of going down that road of those thoughts, whatever they are, that if they're not of God, they're of the flesh. And so strongholds are patterns of thinking that oppose God's truth. And culture is now mass-producing strongholds. The average family consumes more media than mentorship. We've seen it here recently in the news of teen takeovers, where they're literally taking over cities, city blocks, beaches, uh resort communities. Um there's a lot of trouble happening. There's gunshots, you know, there's there's people getting shot, stabbed, there's overdoses, there's uh all kinds of rapes and and just terrible dark stuff. So for Angela, question for you. Angela, from the health and wellness side, what are you seeing happen to women and families physically and emotionally?

SPEAKER_07 8:16

Yeah,

Exhausted Moms And Toxic Overload

SPEAKER_07 8:17

I mean, what I'm seeing is that the spiritual war James just described is absolutely showing up in women's bodies and in their children's and kids' behavior and in the overall health of the home. So most moms that I talk to, they're completely exhausted. They're running on caffeine and cortisol and sheer willpower. Um, their nervous systems are frying from constant noise and constant problems to solve and no real rest. And on top of that, there's a toxic overload from processed foods, which who can you blame them? A lot of them are things that you have to get through quickly, right? Artificial ingredients and chemicals and everyday products that the body was never designed to handle. And so you had overstimulation on top of that, screams going all day, and loud content, and constant notifications, and you have stress hormones like cortisol staying high all the time. That's where you see anxiety and mood screens and sleep problems and hormonal imbalance in women and even in young girls. So families, they they also aren't eating in a connected intentional way anymore, like we spoke about last time. Meals are rough, separate, or in front of a screen. And that disconnects people not just from each other, but from how God designed food and rhythms to calm the body and support healing and keep refueling us with the energy that we need to get through the day. Kids are constantly overstimulated and undernourished and eating the way that God intended. And parents wonder why everyone is anxious and irritable in the home. What I tell women is that a lot of what you're feeling is not because you're crazy or weak. It's your body founding the alarm the way it was meant to. Artificial lifestyles and nonstop threats are at war with how God created us to live. We don't have any work to exhaust us, nonstop 24-7. And he's clearly very effective at it. But the good news is we can start to push back, right? Through slower living, real food, cleaner ingredients, simple rhythms of prayer and rest the way that God intended us, making intentional time to connect with God and take his covering for each day, having a mindset of stewardship instead of survival. And those things will begin to lower stress. We'll be able to balance our hormones and create space for God's peace to actually land in the home. When we align our habits with his design, we're not just getting healthier, we're closing doors. The enemy has been walking through for years, and that's going to lead to generational healing where our children now get the blueprint um to do this.

SPEAKER_04 11:01

Yeah, slower living now is good.

SPEAKER_08 11:03

Man, that is some powerful understanding and and you know, shining a light on some of the most important problem areas. And so the family was designed by God to be a place of discipleship, protection, healing, and purpose. But if the home loses this truth, culture fills the gap, this vacuum. And so

A Table Guide For Discipleship

SPEAKER_08 11:24

I've designed uh a living inside out table guide that's a placemat. And so inside the living inside out 7Ms, you're gonna just walk through that little by little right there on your dinner placemat. Turn it over from the pretty wood grain color on the back, and then you have the living inside out in full color, and it's gonna show you how to really think about your conversations while at the table. How you can have real conversations, no phone, no filter. Your parents are guiding it, they're not losing control, and they're not trying to control every moment of it, but they're allowing their kids to talk about some things that they'll highlight. Did you live aligned with the truth today? Did you show respect at home? What did you learn today, or what did you teach somebody else? What did you consume to make you stronger or weaker in terms of food? Did you stay under pressure under control when you felt stressed out? Did you exercise and did you put fuel into your body? Did you uh act responsibly with your time and your energy and your and your money or our money? Many times they have our money in the you know, who knows what they're doing with some of the the blessings they have to them if they don't recognize them as blessings. And so the living inside of the thing is.

SPEAKER_07 12:37

That's a great um thing to implement. Such a great thing for such a great thing for families to implement what you're speaking of.

SPEAKER_08 12:43

Yeah, you know, the goal is to have like a minimum of three meals together weekly, fully engaged, no distractions, just honor com honest conversation with a growth mindset, not per perfection. You know, the idea is to train strong, live free, defend what matters, you know. Um and there's a lot of different ways to do that. And so I actually turned this displacemat over. I gave it to one of my families that's already operating at a high level. They've got five kids from eight to twenty two. And so their oldest is away at college. He's just graduating with his uh degree to be a pilot and uh in an aircraft mechanic. So obviously he's doing really well and they're doing really well at home. But I'm training their 16-year-old daughter, and so I uh when the dad came to pick her up, I I walked out there just you know talking to the parents like I always do and and making sure she gets in the car. And then we got to have a little longer conversation. And then so I said, Hey, I want to show you something. So I went and got my table place mat for the teens. And I just uh I said, What do you think of this? Because you're already doing this. You're like the perfect person to look at this that's already been operating with a strong mentoring capacity, and you you've you've it's proved out because you're you've got kids that are successful and those that are in the pipeline that I'm sure will be successful. I'm very impressed with her 16-year-old daughter already. And I've only had her on the mat for a month and a half, but so he looked at that. He was sitting in his truck and he's like looking through it, and he wasn't in a rush. I think so. He's like, you know, I was just talking to my wife last night about what are we going to talk tonight at the table tonight? What's our conversation? And so I can see right away that this will be a good guide to stimulate like an organization instead of just chaos or me coming up with a question, having a roadmap like this, wow.

SPEAKER_07 14:38

Yeah, our daughter would love it.

SPEAKER_08 14:40

He's like, Can I take this with me? Yeah, please take that with me.

SPEAKER_07 14:42

Yeah, children love to be included and looked at and seen and heard.

SPEAKER_08 14:47

We're gonna talk more about that. We're gonna

Sponsor Break

SPEAKER_08 14:49

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SPEAKER_00 14:53

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SPEAKER_01 15:53

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SPEAKER_08 16:58

Coming

Media Shapes Identity And Attention

SPEAKER_08 16:59

up with segment two is about media identity and the warrior for the mind. So Angela, on that last question that I gave you, I loved how you answered it. All that you said. Are you looking at the Angela discussion on that I sent you on the email? Uh we we have your layout so we know what question's coming. Well, you see the below the question, so it says Angela's response direction, and it gives you just the highlights. Are you looking at that, Angela, when you're talking?

SPEAKER_04 17:31

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we get to see it, like, okay, you know, make make sure we hit at least three or four of those into our answer.

SPEAKER_07 17:37

Uh which is so easy to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 17:40

Well, yeah, you know, I mean, you did it so well. It's like she has to be looking at those questions that answered that so perfectly. You know, you're getting a lot of content from experience. But you know, the idea of this the direction of your your response, it's coming from a real place of experience and and care and you know, your heartfelt understanding for women and moms. And it just went down that list so perfectly.

SPEAKER_07 18:17

And so I just really want to have women take their children and their families and their house back because they they forget, and especially coming into the faith, you kind of think at first, oh well, the man's the lead, and that's where the the power is, and it's a little bit different, but the more you study and get to know the scripture, no, uh he he he gave us some very powerful territory to guard.

SPEAKER_08 18:40

Man, that is an understatement for sure. I think the woman in the home, the godly woman in the home, has so much influence. And an ungodly woman, conversely, has so much influence, it's so dangerous to have that kind of uh whether it's a man or a woman, whether you know it's in the workplace or in the home. But because the home is the training ground for life, man, it is so much more important.

SPEAKER_04 19:05

It's not that our job women are very influential. When you look through history and you look at organizations and movements even that have come about, vast majority of them came about because of women.

SPEAKER_07 19:16

And I think that's why he went after Eve first, honestly, because you know, when I was in the occult and living the way that I did, I was out, you know, being both babe, right? My money and my power and my status, and those things are not your legacy to trick you. The biggest mistake I ever made was not having my own full tribe of children because I was out there, you know, on the wrong trail doing the wrong things. And so it really is a a legacy to be able to leave behind all of these arrows for him that will keep pushing his agenda forward long after you're gone.

SPEAKER_08 19:51

Perfect. Now we need to talk about this for end recording because oh my gosh, we are recording. I didn't realize I thought I'd stop that. So, with that said, this next segment's to talk about those very things media, identity, and the warrior for the mind. The enemy has always targeted the mind. You just mentioned, uh Angela, that the Satan went after Eve first because of the serious influence that the women have on the mind of the man and the mind of her children. So today, media disciplines people faster than churches do. Many times faster than the parents are disciplined. The phones are now raising children, algorithms are shaping identity, and not just for the kids, but for parents too. And many of us don't even realize it that their children, that our children or grandchildren are being psychologically discipled for hours every day. Wow, that's a heavy thing, isn't it?

Training Kids To Guard The Mind

SPEAKER_08 20:46

So yesterday I had my grandkids, uh, my two youngest grandkids, I had them at the school, and uh, we had decided the day before that I'm gonna pick them up. Mom's got a few things to do, and I'm gonna bring them to the school with me, and they're gonna stay with me. And so I made a time slot, no, we're gonna train, they're not just gonna stay with me. And they were excited about training. They trained with me before, and but it was always in a group. Most of the time it's in a group setting, um, not like we hadn't trained before, but I had a very specific thing to do with them. So I trained them on their perception of what might happen at school if they had a bully or somebody picking on them. So they they picked a couple things like somebody pushing me, somebody, you know, grabbing me, somebody trying to you know hit me. And so we did some some martial art training. And then um I said, okay, now we reached the point where we need to transition as we start to close out. I want to bring in what's the battle for your mind. And so I talked to him uh about Romans 12, 2, and then I quoted it. It says, Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and perfect will of God. And I said, Have y'all ever heard that before? Oh, yeah, we've heard that before. I said, Well, I want you to start memorizing it because it's just like anything else you do, like these martial art techniques. If you don't memorize them, you won't have them available quick enough when you're ready for the battle. And so the spiritual battle, really, you must memorize scripture. I can remember going into an MRI for my first time and I was really tripping big time on the claustrophobia. It started hitting me pretty hard, and I asked him to pull me out. And you hit the emergency button and he pulls you out. He goes, You okay? Yeah, I said, I'm okay, but my mind's tripping really big time on this claustrophobia. And it's like, well, what a lot of people do is we just you know prescribe Valium and then they bring somebody back that can drive them home and they take the value. It's usually not a big deal after you take a valium. I said, Oh yeah, well, I'm not doing that. I said, Are you a believer in Jesus? And he goes, Well, yeah, I am. I said, Well, I said, I'm gonna go through my scripture memory verses that I have in my head that I've I've trained for. I did a Bible study called The Mind of Christ, and it's awesome, man. It has these perforated cards and you memorize scripture all along the way. And so I'm just gonna repeat these scriptures. Let's leave the Holy Spirit shows up. Let's go back in. And so, man, it was a long MRI because it was quite a while ago, and they used to be a lot slower and take a lot longer. It's like 50 minutes. It's brutal. You can't move a muscle, you know, while that machine is rocking along and it's making its loud noise. And so I just repeated those scriptures, man. And that was one of them. Romans 12.2 is one of them. And it really is about purifying your mind, surrendering the Holy Spirit. Don't be conformed to the cultural around you. Well, that means you have to guard your eyes and ears, doesn't it? Because you can't transform the mind with pollution constantly coming in. Corruption begins in the mind. So when it says be not transformed, be not conformed to this war, but transformed by the renewing of your mind. That's talking about scripture, man. Put the word of God in you. So question to James.

Boys Need Challenge And Mentorship

SPEAKER_08 23:46

James, how dangerous is it when boys grow up without challenge, without discipline and responsibility and a masculine mentorship?

SPEAKER_04 23:55

Oh, yeah, that's a big one. It's extremely dangerous, right? And we're seeing it, we're seeing the fallout of that all over our country right now. Um, you know, when boys grow up without real challenge, discipline, uh, responsibility, and and even masculine mentorship, they they don't stop looking for it. They just look for it in all the wrong places, right? So it's always like in their in their nature, it's in their DNA, but they're just looking for it in all the wrong places. So, you know, if dad isn't training them, um well then you better believe YouTube, TikTok, video games, and other influencers across social media will. And they all and um, you know, those voices are are more than happy to uh disciple them into confusion and selfishness and and addiction and a lot like what you were saying. Um, you know, a boy who's who's never really been called up into responsibility will usually go on um one of two directions, right? He's he's either gonna become passive and checked out, uh waiting for everyone else to solve his problems, or he's gonna become angry and rebellious, trying to prove that he's a man by breaking things instead of building things. And um without that challenge and discipline, his emotions end up running his life, right? So no one's teaching him how to control his impulses. The foam will become an escape, um, often torn becomes his reward system, looking for those dopamine and serotonin releases instantaneously. Um rage or withdrawal becomes his default when life gets hard. And and that's how you end up with uh grown males who who never really learned how to be men at all. And we have a lot of those right now. Um masculine mentorship changes all of that, right? When a boy has a father, a step, or even a stepfather, um, or a grandfather, a godly man in his life, who who says, Look, I love you and I'm going to train you, and then everything starts to shift. Um, you know, they he learns that strength is not about uh domination, it's about self-control. And and he learns to do hard things on purpose, right? Get up early, right, work, train, uh, you know, protect your sisters and and serve the family and tell the truth, even when it costs them sometimes. From a spiritual standpoint, uh boys without godly male mentorship are are are wide open to whatever the culture wants to put in their heads. Um so you know, they're being told, you know, what it means to be a man by, like you said earlier, algorithms and not by scripture. And so, um, and if if we if we if we don't step in, right, if we don't step in as good parents and and role models and mentors, the world will. All right. And and that's why what you put in front of you or your sons matters so much, right? What they watch, um, who they listen to, uh, what voices they're hearing for hours a day, right? Because that's all discipleship. Um, you nailed it earlier. And and if if they're not being um discipled intentionally by fathers and mentors, um, then they are being discipled by media, just by default. And and that really shapes their identity far more than most parents even realize to say.

SPEAKER_08 26:58

That's right. One thing we say at Defend Fit, that's where I had my grandkids yesterday, is is we say, be dangerous but choose peace, right? Weak is weakness is not holiness. Biblical masculinity protects, leads, serves, and sacrifices. So

Women Versus Comparison Culture

SPEAKER_08 27:13

Angela, when you're looking at, you know, social media that constantly tells women they're inadequate, they're overwhelmed, or competing against impossible standards. So, how do women protect their minds and their homes from this kind of pressure?

SPEAKER_07 27:26

That's such a good question. And, you know, unfortunately, I was in the occult by the time I was 15, and I grew up in San Diego, a couple hours from A with impossible standards for women. And because I I didn't have the things that we are speaking about and are talking about today, it was a long journey. I didn't get baptized till I was 40. So you can see how much time the enemy had me confused. And so it's not only something I experienced as a young woman, but I also see so many women living under a constant weight of comparison. And it's definitely connected to spiritual warfare. Every time they open their phone, they're being told that they're not enough, they're not thin enough, or they're not curvy enough, or they're not organized, or they're not spiritual enough, or not successful enough, or they're staying at home with their children isn't ambitious enough. And that's not just culture, that's a spiritual attack on their identity and their peace, and that's going to influence everything in the household. And so the first step in in this spiritual attack against us as women in our homes and being mothers and wives is to recognize the voice behind it. And so the enemy accuses and condemns. He says, You're feeling, you're behind, everyone else is doing better. But when we hear God's voice, we we know that he doesn't shame. He says, You're mine. Let's walk this out together. Women need to learn to say that this thought is not from my father and refuse to agree with it, to lean back on those promises that that you were telling yourself when um you know you were in in the MRI. And practically you protect your mind by guarding your input to what's coming in. So that may mean unfollowing accounts that are constantly making you feel less in the social world that we live in now on social media and setting limits on how often you scroll, what you're scrolling, and making sure the first voice you hear in the morning is God's and not the enemies or social media. And so 10 minutes in the words, in in prayer before you touch your phone will do so much more for your peace than another hour of scrolling ever will. And you also check your home by setting the tone. So, right, if mom lives rushed and anxious and distracted, the whole house is gonna feel it, and I understand because that was me at one point. But when she intentionally slows the home down, right? Simple meals at the table, regular bedtime, man, schedules are so important, time outside, worship music uh that lifts up instead of constant noise. She is changing things and she's building a refuge, she's taking her home back. So these healthy rhythms, rhythms are spiritual warfare. You wouldn't think it, but rest, real food, movement, and gratitude, they all push back against the fear and the chaos that the enemy is trying to grow in your home. And then there's what we model for our children. So if our children always see us with a phone in our hand or comparing ourselves to other people's lives, they're gonna do the same. And if they see us putting the phone down, looking them in the eyes, thanking God out loud for small things, worshiping through song, involving them in cooking and cleaning and prayer and playing, it's the simple things that are so powerful and what the enemy hates, right? They learn the presence and gratitude of being still with God instead of the envy and anxiety that the enemy tries to push on you. So you need to love who he made you to be. We all have gifts and talents, and we are all made in his image. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. So for any women listening who feel crushed by those impossible standards, you don't have to keep letting that voice in your mind and in your home to just start small. Limit the comparison to your ears in your house with his truth, because that's the only truth that matters. You create pockets of quiet and prayer and simple living for your family, because those choices they might look ordinary on the surface, but they are so powerful, and they are the ways that you guard your mind and reclaim your home as a place of peace and a sanctuary for you and your family.

Sponsor Break

SPEAKER_08 31:47

So good. We're gonna be right back with more from Angela and James and I. So don't go away.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

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SPEAKER_01 32:53

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Building Intentional Homes Without Screens

SPEAKER_08 34:02

So the media mountain is one of the greatest spiritual battles of our generation. Whoever controls attention controls direction. So families must become intentional again. And that's what my placement is about. And it can be a continued conversation you go throughout the day, not just while you're you know having meals, but intentional conversations, intentional meals, intentional distype, intentional prayer and intentional boundaries in the home. So turn off the television sometimes, sit at the table, pray together, train together, work together. Don't always have somebody else do all the things at your home to fix things. Fix things yourself. Do a flower bed. Take a look at the car. Even if you're just checking the radiator the hole, you know, the kids can learn from that kind of thing, that you're paying attention to these things. Go tell them, take them out to the car tires and say, hey, look at that car. Look at these tires today. How many miles do you think are left on these tires? And it's just like having real conversations about things that matter. Tell me it doesn't matter when you have a blowout and you hit a guardrail. Things details like this. And it creates a culture in your home that brings discipline and your children will really appreciate it. At the end of our training interview with my grandkids, I stood them up on these two chairs and had them looking at these framed uh pictures that I have. There's a lot of certificates and all kinds of accolades on the walls for myself and my students and instructors just to bring credibility. But I hung up my definitive place mat on the wall there. And I had them look at the placemat, and I said I want you to ask me one question for each kid and about what you see reading there. So they got up real close and they both asked a question, and then they both asked a second question. The second question, um my grandson, my oldest older grandson, he's 12. He was reading the question

Gratitude That Rebuilds Connection

SPEAKER_08 35:50

that says, What are you thankful for today? That was the question. And he looked at me and he said, Grandpa, I'm thankful for you. I love you so much. Thank you for joining us today. Oh man. I was like, doesn't get much better than that right there. Yeah. Big God, you know, big smile on his face. And his brotherhood's in agreement, man. They're loving it. They get home, they're like, hey, come on, we we got to, where's those boxing gloves we have? And they're they're like, we got to get new toes. And that they're already like prepping for the next session tomorrow. So you know, it does make a difference when you'd make time for your kids. When you'd intentional, you get intentional about anything, it's always going to turn out better, right? If you have a plan. If you don't have a plan, you're planning to fail. Really. That's the cut uh the essence of anything, whether you're running a business or you're thinking about your chores at home.

Hope, Healing, And John 10:10

SPEAKER_08 36:39

So rebuilding the family from the inside out. The good news is families can heal. Strongholds can be broken. Men can lead again, women can regain peace, and children can rediscover true identity. The homes you know become the place of strength again, not brokenness. We don't want to replicate many of the things I went through. I don't want my kids or my grandkids going through that. They're gonna have their own struggles for sure. We all do, right? But John 1010 says that the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. But Jesus said I came that they might have life and that they may have it more abundantly. And I did a deep dive on that scripture. I send it to y'all. Y'all remember me sending that deep dive on John 1010? Yeah. And one of the things that really jumped out linguistically is that sentence they may have life. Yeah, you may have you know more abundance or you may not. Depends on your choices, right? Because it really does come down to our choices daily, moment by moment. So listen, the enemy steals your peace, your identity, your purity, your discipline, your purpose and connection, but Jesus restores. So living inside out is about rebuilding the family from the inside out.

Three Steps For Overwhelmed Fathers

SPEAKER_08 37:52

So, James, if a father's listening today feels disconnected from his family and overwhelmed by life, where should he begin?

SPEAKER_04 38:00

I'd say, well, if you're a father listening right now and you feel disconnected and overwhelmed, the first thing you need to know is the the fact that you feel it is already evidence that God's calling you back. Right? Because numb men don't care. Okay, convicted men do. And so that's the very that's that's one of the very first things. Um that's a good thing. Um, you know, the first step in that is repentance, right? And and you know, having an understanding of what repentance is, it doesn't just mean you're saying you're sorry, right? You're actually performing an action. Okay, you're changing something. You shouldn't have to repent for the same thing over and over again. And and again, that doesn't mean beating yourself up, right? It means agreeing with God about where you've drifted and and turning back toward him. Right? Get honest with the Lord. You know, you know, God, I haven't been the man and the husband or the father that you've called me to be, and I've been uh distracted, I've been angry, I've I've been very checked out, and I'm asking you to forgive me and and to start changing me from the inside out. Right? And that that's that's kind of where the power begins. From there, it's it's simple. Start leading small and consistent, right? Consistency beats perfection every day. And you know, don't don't wait until you have the perfect five-year plan. Right? Just start tonight. Tonight, sit at the table with your family and be present. Put put the phone away, turn the TV off, and uh just eat a meal together, right? Ask your wife and kids about their day. Listen more than you talk. That's another important and um you know that one choice starts rebuilding that connection, right? Which is that one step that just starts to rebuild the connection. Um you you build in sim in simple rhythms of prayer. I think Angela handled that earlier. And you know, and it can be a short as just, hey, before we eat, let's thank God together, right? Or before bed, let's take two minutes and you know to praise the family, right? It might feel awkward at first, and it usually does for some people. And there's some men, you'd be surprised how many men have never prayed out loud in front of their family or with their family at all. And so it's very awkward. Um, and that's okay. Uh your family doesn't need you to be polished, right? They just need to be willing. And so, you know, then just take responsibility for your body and your time at that point. Once you start to to rebuild that connection, that's what you have to do. You gotta start moving, right? Go for a walk with your wife, you know, do some push-ups, pick pick up a project around the house. Get physical. Because physical work and training are gonna clear your head and remind you that you're capable of more than just surviving, right? And and at the same time, you know, start cutting the distractions. You know, like Andy said, less scrolling, less late night media for sure, um, less hiding and entertainment, and um, you know, trade some of that time for presence and and most of all become uh dependable again and all the little small things. Show up when you say you will, right? Help help with the help with dishes. These are all just very easy things. It sounds simple and like it's not gonna do anything, but it it it really does. Read read to your children. Um fix that thing, whatever it is around your house that's been broken forever, right? That you've just been putting off because you feel like you don't have time to do it. Um serving your family daily, right, in little practical ways, it it speaks louder than any big speech you can ever get, any promise you can make. Um you don't have to fix everything this week, obviously. Don't just jump, don't go, don't don't go overboard with it. But you know, like I said, start with repentance and presence and consistency. Those three things. If if you'll keep turning toward God and toward your family day after day, even with small little steps like that, you're going to look up months from now and realize that the atmosphere in your home has completely changed and you're not just a man in the house anymore. Um, you're like this. It's it's it's you're you're now you're a father leading from the inside out. Right? So it's living inside out, but you're leading from the inside out as well.

SPEAKER_08 41:49

Absolutely. The small things really do matter. You walk into your kid's room and pick up clothes and put them in the dirty clothes, arrange things on the desk, help them make their bed, ask them what they're doing. Simple stuff, right? Go to the kitchen, ask if you can help your wife fix something, fix the, you know, part of the meal.

Practical Peace And Rhythms For Moms

SPEAKER_08 42:06

So, Angela, what are practical ways moms can help restore peace and stability in the home?

SPEAKER_07 42:11

Yeah, um, our homes are some of the most powerful territory that there is to guard. And so we need to equally have powerful things we can do in the home to ensure everyone's safety. So um, as a mother, you can set healthy rhythms, which just schedules and uh within the home that tell everyone in the house you're safe and you're seen, and we don't have to live in chaos. And so how you do that is you start with simple daily anchors, and that looks like bringing back regular meal time when you actually sit together, even if it's just once a day, right? You turn off the TV, you put the phones away, and I know you're saying it, but it's so important. You pray over the food and you talk. That rhythm alone, that change starts to calm nervous systems from from yours as a mother to your children. It will strengthen connection and it reminds your family that this home is a place of order, a place of God, not constant hurry and chaos. And so, next, you want to look at sleep and noise because that's gonna affect how you function throughout the day trying to do what we just spoke about. Most families they're overstimulated and they're under-rested, and so you want to work toward consistent bedtime. That's again, I'm so huge on schedules um and routines, especially for kids. Um, and you want to create a quieter evening atmosphere, softer lights, worship music instead of content backgrounds. We have certain activities that are off limits at a certain time. It just goes to reading and quiet drawing and um screen free time before bed, a good sleep. It's not a luxury, as most people would try to make you think on social media. It's actually the foundation for emotional. Stability and nervous system regulation. Um, nutrition is another big piece. You don't have to become a gourmet chef overnight. Honestly, my recipes are like five to seven ingredients. They're delicious, they're nutritious, and they're easy. So just start moving away from highly processed foods and towards simple, real ingredients. Meat, vegetables, fruit, good fat, plenty of good clean water. Um, clean water is so important. Involve your kids in cooking and prepping, like we talked about last time, right? It's not like it improves their health, it creates teamwork and pride in what you're building together. You're building a home and pride together. Spiritually cultivate a prayer atmosphere. That doesn't mean you're preaching all day at them and and correcting them and rebuking them all day. It means that you're just quick to invite God into the ordinary moment in a way that glorifies and exalts God and makes your family desire a God who cares and loves, and they can see that come out through the mother and the father. So you want to pray out loud when someone is super anxious. Don't be afraid to call on all of the beautiful attributes that we have through Jesus and his work for us. You know, you want to thank him for small things in front of your kids. I thank him for everything. Put scripture where people can see it. Um over time that shifts the spiritual tone of your home from fear to faith. Gratitude and simplicity are huge for stability. So the more soft noise and business you constantly juggle, the more frazzled everyone feels. But if you um begin to become more scheduled and faith where you can't. So say no to a few extra activities. It's okay to say no. Make room for slow evenings, walk board games, reading together, or just talking on the couch about your day and the things that are coming up. Those unproductive moments. Um, they're often where we we have real emotional connection and three. And finally, remember stewardship. You're not responsible to create a perfect interest home. Please hear that, women. You are stewarding the atmosphere God has trusted you with. He knows exactly what's going on in your life and the arrows he sent you, and the husband that you are with. Ask him, what is one thing I can simplify today? Where can I bring more peace and less chaos? And as you create steady schedules and rhythms of rest, real food, prayer, and connection, you are quietly and powerfully rebuilding stability side out, one ordinary day at a time.

SPEAKER_05 46:28

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 46:30

Right. It's those ordinary things that the devil is terrified of.

SPEAKER_08 46:33

Right. You know, one of those I love all that. One of the most powerful things that I really love doing with my family, both as a father, but also as just as a kid, as a teen, is that when we shared, when my dad would tell stories and my grandfather would tell stories, or an uncle or you know, even my mom or aunt, you know, they would tell stories and share a lesson, just kind of a real world story that happened to them. And there is always a lesson in there somewhere. And uh just asking your kid, hey, what what was challenging for you today? Did you make a good choice? What would you do differently? You know, or what made you happy today? Did you get to help somebody today? Yeah, and what are you thankful for? Man, the gratitude goes a long way. So you can't fight battles. That's right. You can't fight spiritual battles, man, with carnal weapons. So you start getting into these kind of questions and interactions and sharing, and you're gonna be shining a light on the goodness of God in your life. And so 2 Corinthians 10, 4 and 5 says, For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. So that

Truth, Prayer, And Family Leadership

SPEAKER_08 47:45

the answer isn't more outrage, it's not more fear, not more distraction. The answer is truth, discipleship, prayer, discipline, communion, leadership, and purpose. The family is still God's design for raising healthy generations. And if we want to change culture, we have to rebuild it at the home. If you want revival, look right in the mirror. In the mirror first, it starts with you and I.

Ways To Connect And Get Help

SPEAKER_08 48:09

So you've been listening to Living Inside Out with John Peake and Angela and James Holland from Set Apart Farms and Herbs of the Torah. And we're gonna share a lot more of our personal stories about the battles we've won and lost. We're gonna continue to feed you great information. We're gonna give you uh access to the Living Inside Out placemat. We're gonna give you access to set apart farms. So just understand that you're not alone. That we want you to live ready with discipline and with purpose, but uh we know that it's impossible to do alone. You've got to have God's help, number one, and you have to think about what's going through your eyes and ears and happening in your mind. So listen, don't hesitate to call me at 713-252-5836. I'm here to help you, and I can put you in touch with James and Angela as well. You want to learn about products, look on Facebook. Uh look if you want to learn about health and wellness products that can you can put in your body and replace poisons, then look at Herbs of the Torah on Facebook and look at Set Apart Farms on Facebook. You can look at the DeFinFit Facebook page as well. Start tapping into the media with power and purpose, not letting it control you, but you take control of it. So, James and Angela, thank you so much for sharing from the heart and thank you for being here on the show. And we're gonna continue, we're gonna likely move to another platform as well and expand this in a video format. So James and I are working the details out on that. But we want to add and continue growing ourselves, and so as we grow, we will grow with you. So you're not alone. So thank you for being here today. Thank you for joining us with Living Inside Out. Watch us uh or I mean listen to us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and um Patriot Talk Radio, 9 20 a.m. on Saturday at noon. And listen, I'm gonna give James or Angela the opportunity to pray us out because I love it when other people pray and bring their power. Awesome.

Closing Prayer And Blessing

SPEAKER_04 50:03

Well, again, thanks for having us.

SPEAKER_07 50:04

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_04 50:05

Thank all your listeners to this platform, right? Because I think it's great communication, it's great knowledge that people need to hear, and people need to hear they're not alone out there with some of this stuff. Um Father, we just come before you uh your humble servants and we ask uh for you to lift up those that are listening and that are struggling and that are uh they're wanting that next step, right? We ask that you you maybe nudge them in the right direction uh to go ahead and take that step. And we thank you for all your provisions, for your person, for your mercy. And we thank you for this time and this connection that you made with us with uh with John and and what he's doing and and how everything is overlapping so much. We appreciate this this opportunity, and we appreciate everything you're moving in our lives and the people that you're putting before us. And uh we want to pray for those out there that are struggling right now and and help them to realize um that you are the way and that small steps taken are taken. And uh I pray for favor over them, and I pray for the health and wellness of our country, and I pray for our country as well for you to continue to expose publicly the corruptness within our leadership and to put your people in their places. And we pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

SPEAKER_08 51:20

Amen. Thank you so much, James. Thank you so much, Angela. Join us again next week for Living Inside Out. God bless.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

Tune in next week for another edition of the Living Inside Out Radio Show.

SPEAKER_03 51:38

Living Inside Out is a spoken movement. It's about training us on the inside out.