What Would Your Legacy Say About You

A city naming a day after a Marine forces a sharper question than “Who’s famous?” It asks, “Who actually changed things?” John Peake sits down again with Staff Sergeant James Holland, freshly honored by Pasadena, Texas with June 3rd as Staff Sergeant James Holland Day, to unpack what that recognition really points to: service after the uniform, leadership that outlives rank, and a legacy measured in families restored, not applause collected.

We get honest about the hardest part of military life for many veterans: the transition to civilian life. James describes the confusion of coming home with your body still wired for combat, the lack of mentorship, and the broken systems that promise opportunity but often deliver stigma. We talk veteran identity, purpose after service, and why preparation matters months before separation, from employment and finances to learning how to show up as a husband and father when the mission board disappears.

Then the conversation goes deeper into what civilians misunderstand about veterans, using one bridge-word almost everyone knows: betrayal. We connect trauma, TBI, marriage strain, and healing, and why Set Apart Farms focuses on the whole family instead of treating the veteran in isolation. We also explore faith-based recovery, integrity at home, and the practical habits that build strong men: embrace responsibility, seek real mentors, guard your inputs, and do the hard things on purpose.

If you’ve ever wondered what your name would stand for if it landed on a calendar, this one is for you. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more families can find the show.

Transcript

Why Pasadena Named A Day

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to the Living Inside Out Radio Show with John Pete.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Welcome back to Living Inside Out Radio, 9 20 a.m. Talk Radio, Patriot Talk Radio, Faith, Family, and Freedom. Today we have uh James Holland back, and we're going to be talking about a very special day today. What makes a man worth naming a day after? And so Staff Sergeant James Holland left is leaving and has left a legacy on the community of Pasadena, Texas, and they've honored him by making June 3rd Staff Sergeant James Holland Day. And so we just had that. June 3rd just passed, and they did honor him. And it's not necessarily something that's going to stop traffic necessarily, but to have your community that you're from name a day after after you is quite the honor. So congratulations, James, and thank you for being with me today. Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

And again, thanks for having me back. I really feel honored, not just for the day, but to be here and talking with you right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Well, I've said this before: the more we talk, the more alignment I see, you know, with set apart farms, herbs of the Torah, Living Inside Out. You know, it's all a blend of the combination of different things. And, you know, it's a really highlighting aspects of Living Inside Out, the 7M's, by uh, you know, aligning with the set apart farms and herbs of the Torah, because these are really things that are critical to our development, you know, everything from servant leadership to health and wellness to person protection to recovering from trauma. So I'm really excited. So today we're talking about something rare: not a celebrity, not an athlete, not a politician, a Marine, a husband, a mentor, a man who continued serving long after taking off the uniform. So it's not just military service and sacrifice. You know, the transition from a service member to a civilian is not easy. And, you know, purpose after service is probably more important or just as important, let me put it that way, as the purpose that you were serving for. Because it's going to be a likely a lot longer, long-term impact on the people directly in your family. And the impact on our generations can last decades and even centuries, just like the impact of uh fighting for our freedom can last decades and centuries as it has for our country. And we're under threat. Our country is under threat, our government's under threat, our families are under quite uh big threat, right? Social media and infiltration of our government from left-wing and wokeism and Islam and communist socialist. It's just something that will never go away. It's a fight for our lives and our very freedom. So you know, I have some questions for you today, James, but let's talk just briefly before we get into the questions about this aspect

Service After The Uniform

SPEAKER_03 3:05

of serving after you take off the uniform. Many service members consider themselves service members. They're not calling themselves veterans, they'll use that. So how does that strike you when a uh Marine talks about himself as a service member?

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Yeah, so I always think about that. I'm like, well, what service are you providing now, right? So out of the military. Um, you know, I see it all the time. I see these, I see these retired first sergeants, sergeant's major. Um, you know, they did 20 years in the Marine Corps, 24 years, some of them they went in at 18 and they're now 42, 43, 44 years old, and they're just retired, right? They're like, I'm done. And so all all you see them do is, you know, they're fishing, taking pictures of the fish they caught, and taking pictures of the miller light they're drinking. Like they've done their service. They've they're done. And it's like, you're 42 years old, you're four. Like, what are you doing? Like, what kind of service you so you just took that whole 20, 22 years, 24 years of service, just quit. In my eyes, that's how I see it. It's like you should take that knowledge, those lessons learned, you should take all of that, all of that leadership that you've developed and now bring it into the community, right? Because that's all it did is it trained you for the community and put that effort into your family. And so I think it's just really sad. It's like to me, I see a switch that's just flipped off on on people when they leave the military and they think that their time in the military was their service. And it's like, and now they're you know, whether they come out and they just get a normal nine to five job or they're retired after twenty-something years and they're just not doing anything. And it's no, no, no, no. You but the military they spent a lot of time, resources, and money in training these individuals on how to serve others in leadership positions, right? So how to be placed into a leadership position and lead others and serve others in that leadership position. You shouldn't just throw that away. Right? I want to see you get involved, you get involved in the community, you know, whether that's just on the city level, the county level, the state level, the federal level. Get involved. Um you you're some of the best that that's that that's that's that's the pool we need to be dipping into when it comes to some of these political positions and these elected official positions, these individuals that understand that voting uh that they're doing the the the power that they have, the voting power they have is lended to them, right, by their constituents, by the lended to them by the people in their community. And instead of the management type of politicians that we have, the ones that go in there and say, Well, I'm in this position because I know better and I'm smarter than everyone else, so I'm gonna make the decisions. Uh we need those servant leaders to get into those positions, those elected positions, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Yeah, I think you're hitting it right on the head. I you know, when I look at my life in the past I'm 62 now, and I've had great leadership, I've had solid leadership, I've had very poor leadership. And as I look at that dynamic, I think uh the secret to living powerfully and energized and impactful is this aspect of giving. We've been receiving most of our life as we get from youth into adulthood. And then you're going through the military, for example, and you're receiving all this leadership training and group training and how to work together to get out of the military or get out of a college or get out of a leadership position along the way in the corporate environment, and to retire and do nothing that gives back or not giving back along the way, I think we miss a lot of growth. I think we live miss a lot of uh passion for living, the aspect that makes us feel good about what we're doing in life, and that causes a lot of depression, it causes a lot of damage to other people. So finding purpose is the reason I think that we're given opportunities to grow. The Lord, whether we realize it or not or even believe in Him, is constantly looking for ways to help us grow. And sometimes that's through suffering. Some people have to suffer a lot more before they finally turn their lives and start looking for a new way of thinking. Others, you know, they feel very blessed by being able to do certain things, and that kind of jolts them into this idea of serving because they do have it so well, they do have it so good, and they recognize it. And so it's hard to say. I've seen, you know, why are why so do some people react one way and some people react another in terms of those things? And it's hard to say, but I would say that a lot of it comes from DNA, your biology accommodation,

Marine Lessons That Still Matter

SPEAKER_03 7:40

and your environment that you're raised in. But let me ask the question this way: what lessons from the Marines shaped your life the most?

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Uh well, so this might sound strange to some, but bad leadership, right? Bad leadership taught me more than anything in the Marine Corps, right? Those bad leaders that I had to deal with taught me uh how not to treat others, right? So the the the J.R. Fullwoods and the Chad Mattells and the Scott Carlisle's and the Dallas Shaws and the Scott Wurtz of the world and the Richard Creviers, those were some of the most useless individuals by and by far the worst leaders that I ever came across in the Marine Corps, just to name a few. Um they taught me how to be better, right? I learned from really poor leadership. Now there were also good leaders in the core, obviously, that you know, they kind of hardwired a few things into me um that I still carry uh every day today. You know, one of those I would say probably is that um excuses don't change reality, right? You either complete the mission or you don't. And and and that mindset's kind of carried over into how I leave, you know, how I leave my family now and how I serve in the community. And um I mean there was there were several, uh let me think, very important lessons. Uh well, okay, something I learned from my peers, right? So not just from leaders, I learned from my peers that you never fight alone. Right? That was that was a huge lesson. You don't fight alone, you weren't meant to. Uh you know, in the Marine Corps your your life literally depends on the man next to you. Um that taught me loyalty, it taught me accountability, the overall value of brotherhood, right? And today, um the way that looked, the way I I utilize that lesson learned is uh is refusing to isolate. Like when life gets hard and staying, you know, I attempt and I I constantly try to stay plugged in into uh men and friends and and and brothers that I served with who were gonna be truthful with me, tell me the truth when I go to them with a problem. And they're not just gonna tickle my ears. Um another lesson, probably one of the biggest ones, this one I I think about often is pain. Right? Pain's either gonna break you or build you. And you know, the Marine Corps is gonna teach me pain, but it you know, it taught me to do the hard things on purpose. Right? That was the way to go with it. Don't look for the easy route. Do the hard things on purpose, whether it's physically, mentally, or emotionally. Um, and I believe that's kind of you know, that the discipline that the Marine Corps installed in me is exactly what God used later when he started reshaping my life, right? Training that I had received and the lessons that I had learned in the Marine Corps gave me that framework, kind of what it means to endure and protect and just to keep going when quitting feels easier.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

Totally get that. Absolutely. Yeah, I made the comment one time to a mom about we were talking about our daughters, and I said, Well, I said, My daughters haven't suffered quite enough yet, uh, just by living life, and so they haven't learned some hard lessons yet. But I'm I'm I'm hopeful that they'll suffer early on while they're still under my leadership, so that they're they become young adults, they'll gonna have make better decisions. And she's like, You want your girl to suffer? I said, Well, it's not a matter of me wanting to my daughters to suffer. They will suffer. Well, you all have had to suffer. But I'd rather them suffer early on under my leadership and make their mistakes instead of making them more difficult, consequential to you know, mistakes as an adult. So yeah. What was harder, James?

Why Transitioning Home Feels Harder

SPEAKER_03 10:55

Becoming a Marine or transitioning out back into civilian life?

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Uh oh, by far transitioning. Yeah, it was way harder. Right? Coming home was a little confusing. Yeah, that hands down. You know, the uniform came off, uh, but the wiring kind of stayed the same, right? My nervous system was still in full f uh flight and combat, you know, but uh now I was like standing in a grocery store aisle or sitting at a dinner table. And there wasn't really a clear mission, right? There was no daily briefing, no brotherhood like before. Um people just kind of expected me to just, you know, flip the switch off and be normal again, and I didn't I didn't even know what that meant at the time. So transitioning out of the of the forces um is is is is a difficult one, right? Because you ask yourself, you know, all these you have all these questions, right? Who am I now without ranking and without the unit? You know, what's my mission? Uh, you know, how do I be a husband and a father when my brain's still wired like it's downrange? And and that part is far harder than food camp or any school trainings that I had to do because there's there was no handbook, right? There was no mentorship in that part. There was no guidance at all. And so most of the battle is happening, you know, in your own home, in your own mind. And so this my opinion, the transition process from the military back into the civilian world is very broken, right? That's one of the root things that we would like to try to try to fix within the military is the transition process. It's a very broken process. Um, the military does not set you up for success at all. As a matter of fact, they actually hinder it. They have this ability to kind of give service members a false sense of of security, right? They tell them all the time, well, when you get out, you know, everybody's gonna want to hire you, um, everybody's gonna be looking for your skills and your leadership abilities and all this. Well, that's just not true. Because in today's world, there's a huge stigma that's around veterans now, right? Whether it's uh addiction issues or too many, you know, medical appointments, the VA constantly, you know, making these medical appointments for people. So, you know, people don't want to hire guys that are gonna be like, well, for two days next week you've got to be gone at the VA. And uh, you know, maybe anger issues. They don't want to hire that. So there's not there's not this overwhelming force and drive out there in the in the civilian world of just wanting to hire veterans. That's the false sense of uh security that the military puts in these guys' minds. And um and they don't do a good job setting them up for success, knowing that they're gonna be leaving the military, you know, six months out or eight months or nine months out. They don't do anything for them to set them up. Right? It's almost like one of those things where like, oh, you're leaving me. You know, you're leaving us, you're not sticking around, and you're not gonna stay in like I did, you're not gonna stick around, so you're leaving us, so you know, whatever, figure it out. So it's a very broken system, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

I totally get that. Yeah, we talked about uh needing to pass new legislation, and you're actually on a new mission uh with Set Apart Farms to work that angle of uh passing legislation that sets soldiers up with a plan six, eight months out, whatever it is, to start thinking about what it's gonna take to be a husband, be a father, be a civilian, you know, be an employer, or thinking about starting a business and handling money. So I really love that. It meant so too much to me when I found out that was your new mission that I was like, wow, that's really what living inside out is about. It's about preparation to be successful and live powerfully. Now we can take those skills they learned as a Marine and as a veteran and give them purpose, put them within an ecosystem so they can do just that very thing. Well, there's a scripture that says this about your service. Greater love has no man, no one than this, to lay down one's life for his own friends. John 15, 13. And that's what you've done as a veteran. That's what we do as husbands and fathers, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 14:47

Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

Well, listen, we'll be right back.

Sponsor Break

SPEAKER_03 14:51

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SPEAKER_02 14:53

No, just say just when you learn that kind of love, right? And not the uh abstract uh meaning of love that we have in 2026, it brings a whole nother level of what it means to actually be a friend and a lobo.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

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SPEAKER_03 17:26

Welcome

What Civilians Misread About Veterans

SPEAKER_03 17:27

back to Living Inside Out Radio. I've got my guest again here, James Holland, Sergeant James Holland, who's had a day named after him in Pasadena, Texas for June 3rd in honor not just of his service, but what he's done after he's got out of the military with set apart farms and trying to transform veterans' families, not just the veteran themselves, but the whole family. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Which is why it's a perfect fit for living inside out, where we have the 7Ms to bring that whole ecosystem to build them up spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically through the 7Ms, ministry, marriage, mentoring, media, martial arts, muscle, and money, so they can have the kind of powerful life they envision for them being veterans and being told that they're going to be leaders in their community, they're going to be getting a great job. And so, yeah, we I that's very possible. We just have to go through this uh aspect of healing and overcoming strongholds and thinking. So this next segment is called building families instead of just surviving. And so we're gonna talk about some things that James has dealt with with his wife Angela, being a veteran that's recovering from TBI, traumatic brain injury, recovering from shoulder surgery, the need for shoulder surgery first. Five years it took, four years and eleven months just to get surgery, and then having a bot surgery that paralyzed and going through his testimony of wanting to end his existence and then recovering from that and having a divine intervention, all that has led up to his ability to be a servant leader. So today's we're gonna talk a little bit about closing out the last segment. We had a question that I wanted to ask, and that is what do civilians misunderstand about veterans, James?

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Uh I think one of the big misunderstandings is that uh veterans are either broken victims or untouchable heroes. And most of us are neither, right? We're just human. Okay. We're we're beings. Uh we've seen some things, we've carried some things, we we fall purpose and responsibility and a place to belong. Um the other thing is I think it's it's understanding where veterans come from, um, or their feeling, right? And it's able to be relatable. So how do I get people so when we go and give give you know these conferences or whatever, and we have maybe we have 400, 500 people in that room, maybe 10 of them are veterans or 15 of them are veterans. So how do I get together 475, 400, you know, and eighty people that are telling what you know, how to relate, how to be relatable. I use one word and it's betrayal. Everybody's gonna be betrayed. One at one point or another by something, right? By a person, by a system, by something. Everybody can understand what it feels like to be betrayed. That's the one thing I can thread to every family that we've dealt with, is they have this feeling of betrayal, right? Of saying, we're going to do this, we'll put our life on the line for this, we'll we'll stop for this, as long as I'm taken care of and my family's taken care of in case something happens to me. And then when they leave, the government doesn't follow through. Right? You have the VA system, which is a whole other segment that we could talk about. But there's all these other things that fit through. The government doesn't go into the bargain, and there's this feeling of betrayal. And so then I get everybody kind of understanding of here's where they're coming from, right? It's this feeling of betrayal. And so when you can understand that, um and and understanding that many veterans, over over 80% of veterans, join the military because of running from something. Right? They're running from either abuse or poverty or lifestyle or something. They're running from something and they join the military. So what that is, is there's childhood trauma, right? So it's not that all veterans go in the military. The military is just this traumatic place, right, that's gonna just mess everyone up that goes in the military. Most of these people are are with childhood trauma they've never dealt with before. And all the military was was an amplification of that, right? It was an amplifier. It amplified the childhood trauma that was already there, it existed, that wasn't being dealt with. And when people can understand those three things I just talked about, it kind of makes a little bit more sense.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yeah, I really get that. I think we've all been betrayed, and oftentimes it starts at you know, at a very young age with your family. Family. I can remember uh this very it's a kind of a funny story, but it also highlights um the lack of uh wisdom and leadership we can have as as I know I've had it as well as a father. Um but my parents I got in trouble. I got caught doing something I shouldn't. My parents wanted me to tell the truth. And you're not gonna, you know, get in as much trouble. You know, you're in fact, you're not gonna get a spacing if you tell the truth. And so I told the truth to God's fanking. And right away I felt betrayed, man. I'm like five years old. And I can remember making a quick a decision right then. You know what? I'm gonna lie next time. Because they lied to me, you know. And so I had to overcome this man of lying. You know, I'm just gonna start this knee-jerk reaction and want to lie, you know, because I don't want to uh get compromised again. You betrayed me. And of course, that happens all along the way as we get older, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

I can see how the military would amplify that, certainly. You know, it's uh everything's amplified, you know, it's they they skewed. First off, you know, cutting off your hair and giving you a number, and you know, you're part of a group, you kind of lose your individuality. But now let's talk about coming back home after all that, after all that's gone on with you in particular, um as we just discussed with the TBI and the surgery, and bot surgery, and and what that's brought with it. So from conversations with your beautiful wife Angela, she's such

Marriage After Military Life

SPEAKER_03 23:10

an intelligent person, she's such a a seeker of knowledge, and she's been such great spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical support for you. Talk about marriage after military life, for you in particular, and then kind of branch that out of what you've seen with other veterans.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Yeah, so the military, it almost easy uh but when it came to marriage life, because it was like we had our distinctive roles, right? I thought I was gone training or gone on deployment, and she was taking care of the home and she was holding down that, you know, and dealing with bills, and so it was very split, you know, responsibilities. And then it was once we got out and left that, things changed because then it was like, Well, I'm home a whole lot more now, and you know, we have to share these responsibilities, right? It's not just her uh taking care of the kids and then you know cleaning the house and then cooking all the meals, and it's like I need to also step into some of these roles and help alleviate, you know, give her her space, give her her time um to to go off. It's not just about me, it's about us, right, as one. And um, you know, I really wish we would have had that mindset even when I was in the military. Um, but unfortunately we didn't, right? We had a very split. And uh it wasn't until later when we started to run into problems and troubles, and you know, our marriage was falling apart once I had gotten uh to the aid of body. And it took a lot of things for us to come, you know, to um, you know, and to get to where we are right now, uh, which is why we're trying to help these other families, you know, don't go through what we went through, right? Lessons learned. You know, the Marine Corps utilized this thing that was called uh the Marine Corps Center for Lessons Learned. And it was just a a huge library of online library of of things that had happened and and the way that they had happened in the in the fraction reports of what went on. And the whole purpose of it was for you to look through these things and and their mistakes. Here's the mistakes that unit made, here's what they could have done right. Right? And the reason was so you don't go and re remake those mistakes. And so that's kind of our purpose, you know, one of our drives for Set Apart Farms is trying to hit these families early enough so they don't go through the same mistakes that we have made. We've we've come a long way, we've learned a lot of hard lessons the hard way. And so hopefully uh we can reach, you know, as many of these families as we can and set them up for success.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

That's awesome. You know, I had not heard that before, that that's that available to unit members that they could go to this this uh training online to lessons learned. That is such a powerful thing. You know, James, I've been talking about this for a while now with you. This is our fifth show together, and you know a lot about Living Inside Out now. I think I'm gonna have to add a dash after Living Inside and say lessons learned. Dash lessons learned, because that's really what it's all about is taking our knowledge and put it in a form an ecosystem, if you will, a format for other people to learn from so they don't have to make the same mistakes that we did. That's awesome. Right.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

And my you know, my dad, um, yeah, God rest his soul. So he's one of the things he told me young when I was young, um, which helped me actually in the Marine Corps, he was saying, you know, you've heard the term a wise man learns from his mistakes. And I'll keep this uh PG, but he said, you know, yes, a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a smart MFR learns from others. Be a smart, yeah, be a smart one, don't be wise, be smart, like learn from my mistakes.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

Funny, he took the words right out of my mouth. I would said them before you talked as part of that last conversation, because that is so true. Yeah, but I didn't have the MFR. But, you know, I get it. I knew your dad. I knew your dad before you were born, man. We grew up in Pasadena together, and so I know your mom as well. And so it's such a joy. And I don't know if you remember this. This is kind of off topic a little bit, but it highlights how far you've come. But you were back on deployment and we were at your uncle's house and around the pool, and I had my kids, and they were pretty young back then. And you were a Marine man, you were in the Marine mentality, you had not given your life to Christ yet, and you were dropping all kinds of language, man, around my kids. And I was like, okay, I got to get the heck out of here, man. You know, I got to protect their little ears. They're not ready for this uh this of life of a Marine drill sergeant, you know, and platoon leader, man. And so I hung out for a little while, I took them aside, stayed a little longer, but we did get out a little early because of the reality check that you were in right then, you know. So talk about trauma recovery, talk about, you know, coming full circle now for your life and uh taking that knowledge that your dad was putting in very early on of uh learning from other people's mistake, and then even have that example uh lessons learned from the military. And now putting it into set apart farms, you know, I could see very early on when you told me about what set apart farms was about was just that exact thing. You're training them from a lessons learned perspective.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Right. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And yeah, man, let me tell you, I same thing. I have a son in the Marine Corps right now, and I talk to him on the phone, and I have to correct him every every sentence and be like, you know, there are other words. You can use other words.

SPEAKER_03 28:25

Right. It's that way in a lot of industries. I worked in the petrochemical industry, you know, uh as a control system specialist, and uh, you know, even the women, you know, when you're out on the job and uh this blue-collar environment, they'll they're the men a lot of times about dropping all kinds of language, you know. And I had this thing I had to go through where I was like, am I no uh more intelligent that I can't choose, you know, what words I'm actually saying that aren't cuss words, you know, that aren't using the same cuss word as a noun, a verb, an adjective. You know, come on, man. You know, think about what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

So you're exactly right. Yeah, I had to had to kind of go through that level myself and realize that I I ignorant when I talk like that. I cannot do that. And uh yeah, I actually had a leader in the Marine Corps kind of come to me and it was during my time as a drill instructor and was like, hey, look, I'm not saying saying how you have to do, but these these they they look up to you, right? They really do. And if they hear how you are, how you act, how you sound, they're gonna go and mimic it. And and that kind of hit me while I was like, oh man, okay. I gotta change some things.

SPEAKER_03 29:30

That's good. That's rich, man. That's the kind of mentorship and servant leadership we need. You know, I tell you, I couldn't do it. I I couldn't change my vocabulary until I dedicated my life to Christ. And then it was a process where I had to uh start learning scripture and memorizing that scripture before it had uh a complete change in my ability to control that and that changed my vocabulary. But it didn't happen until I started memorizing scripture, right? Verses of the Bible. It's like learning a martial art technique or learning, you know, uh, you know, some form of skill that takes repetition to master. And since it's uh such a battle of the mind, I often use that analogy of fighting firearms and fighting because it takes a lot of reps to get good uh under pressure, so that you're making decisions that are simple in nature, but since there's a combination of back-to-back simple decisions under such great stress and pressure, like a combat situation, that it's very, very difficult. So if it's not ingrained, part of who you are, memorize deeply in your subconscious, you will revert to the lowest level, right? So that's powerful. And so trauma

Trauma Recovery As A Whole Family

SPEAKER_03 30:40

recovery is part of that.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Is it not trauma recovery for set apart farms taught starts taking in uh absolutely it is part of because one of the things you have to realize too is it kind of ties into what you were just saying was the nail in the coffin for me on realizing changing your lifestyle, like what you hear, what you say, what you do, was that we are ambassadors, right? We're ambassadors of the kingdom, of his kingdom, not ours, but his. And so you can't be a good ambassador and and and you know, just every other word's a cuss word, or you know, you need to look good, you need to present yourself well. And in trauma recovery, that's one of the things of memorizing scripture and understanding what that scripture means, not just memorizing the verse, right? You can't cherry pick, you need to understand that entire chapter in order to understand that verse. And that's part of the recovery. And again, it's also the the ingredient we fill is the the together with each other, though, and the spouse. Right? It's not just you know the veteran's war, it's not just the veteran's uh problem, it's it's family's problem. And then when the when the when the family can heal together as one unit, and they are, um, that's where we've really started seeing strides, and that's where we're seeing not very many other organizations or anybody really putting that together yet. Yeah, they're kind of still separating the veteran from the family and and trying to just heal the veteran and then sending them home. Uh again, I think I've said this before, but you wouldn't do that with leadership in the military. You wouldn't take team leaders and squad leaders and platoon commanders and platoon sergeants and and give them all the education and tools and all the, you know, all the facts and then send them out to their unit and say, okay, now go make it work. Right? Everyone trains together, knowing everything, right? Down to the the man on the totem pole, down to the rifleman. He has to understand the plan, has to understand the commander's intent. Um and that's what makes it work. That's what makes the, you know, that's what makes it beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

That's awesome. That's right out of Galatians 6, 2, bearing another another's

Sponsor Break

SPEAKER_03 32:34

burdens. Well, listen, we'll be right back where our next section is going to be tying in uh living in uh inside out uh M's Marriage Mentoring and Minst Ministry. And so Defenfit is a place where you can come learn more about this. You can uh you'll eventually be able to do these workshops with Set Apart Farms, uh, Herbs of the Torah and DefenFit. So stay tuned for that. Watch us, look online, look up Set Apart Farms, Herbs of the Torah, and DefenFit on Facebook. Uh we'll be right back with our last segment today with James and I don't go low, we'll be right back.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

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SPEAKER_01 34:05

Hello, my name is Greg Brainerd, owner of BrainTech, and now another Brain Tech Tech Tip. You sit down at your desk, power on your laptop, and then you wait. You've got time to grab coffee, check your phone, maybe read the news, all while your laptop slowly crawls to live, loading program after program that you didn't even ask for. Sound familiar? Here's the fix. Clean up your startup items. Take control back by pressing Ctrl Shift Escape on your keyboard to open the task manager, click on the startup tab, and then you'll see everything that launches when your computer starts up. Right-click and disable anything that you don't need immediately at startup. Spotify, Adobe updaters, messaging apps, you can always open them up later. Don't worry, you're not uninstalling anything. You're just telling the system to wait until you ask for it. A little cleanup can turn five-minute boot time into 30 seconds. If you'd like Braintech to tune up your computers, give us a call at 281-367-8253. Or visit our website, Braintech.com, Braintech making IT easy for your business. Hello, my name is Greg Brainerd, owner of Braintech, and now another BrainTech Tech tip. You get an urgent email from Microsoft saying your account will be suspended, or a message from the bank asking you to verify a transaction. Or maybe it's your CEO asking you to buy gift cards immediately. Stop, don't click that link. Fishing emails are designed to trick you into acting fast without thinking. They look legit. They often contain real logos and professional language and urgent deadlines. But one wrong click, you can hand over your password, install malware, or give criminals access to your entire network. Here's how to protect yourself. Just offer up your mouse over the link. Look at that web address. Does it actually match the real company? If not, it's probably not legit. Second, watch for pressure tactics. Legitimate companies don't often threaten to close your account within 24 hours. And third, when in doubt, ask your IT professional. Remember, criminals only need you to slip up once, and it takes five seconds to verify before you click that link. If you'd like Braintech to help you spot fishing attacks, give us a call at 281-367-8253. Visit our website, braintech.com. Braintech is making IT easy for your business.

Legacy Starts At Home

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Welcome back to Living Inside Out Radio with Ted Apart Farms and James Holland, and we're bringing together all that we've learned and how to put that into Living Inside Out. This category is going to be starting to cover more of our marriage, mentoring, and ministry, giving our purpose. So this next segment I've entitled Legacy. Why would a city name a dame after someone? And so what an honor to have a city name a dame after you. So cities don't name days after people because they were perfect. They recognize impact. And so the legacy that James is pursuing is transformation in veterans' lives, spiritually, mental, emotionally, physically, and their lives include their families and every other person they touch along the way. So what does a legacy mean to you, James?

SPEAKER_02 37:01

So it's legacy is kind of like uh for me it's it's a black on the wall, right? Or like a day on the calendar, or like a day named after you, really. It's it's the impact of of your kind of obedience, right, on the people who come after you, which is your direct family, your kids, right? So for for me, my legacy starts, you know, it's what's my last name, my kids. Um, it's what my kids carry along after I'm gone. You know, what what remember about how I handled uh failure and how you know how I treated their mom and how I responded to God. And um, you know, uh if if the public story is impressive, but the private story is broken, that that's not really a legacy, right? That's just a performance. And we see that a lot. Uh we see that a lot with people. So, you know, that's a legacy, you know, it it you know, it also looks like it's kind of like a a ripple effect of of the the men and families that we've walked with, you know, with our arms that there's a few generations. That's kind of our purpose too, when we're helping these husbands and wives out. Like our goal at the end of the day is to pass that is for them, it's their children. It's to break generational curses. Um and it's to have um, you know, if if we can get a few generations from now, um they're they're they're growing up in a stable Christ-centered home because you know their dad got help and their mom found healing and and family stayed together. That to me, that's a legacy, right?

SPEAKER_03 38:20

That is so good, man. Well, you just covered those other topics, you know, that I had planned with mentorship, you know, serving after success, you know, yeah, investing in younger generations. That's all part of that. And you know, there's a trickle-down effect, you know, like throwing a pebble in a pond and makes the the weeds go all the way out to the edge, a long ways away from us, maybe even further we can see. So, man, you know, set apart farms has a potential to really transform lives. And so what about what do you hope people say about your life as you go forward with this?

SPEAKER_02 38:52

Well, you know, so honestly, uh I'm at a place in my life where the the only people I really care about having something to say about my life are are my wife and kids. And and this would have been, if you would have asked me this question a couple of years ago, it would have been a completely different answer. You know, for a long time I wanted certain people to understand me and I wanted them to see that my mission and purpose were s was, you know, was sincere and that I was trying to build, you know, what I was trying to build for veteran families was noble and from the heart. But some of those people and uh, you know, were folks that I really looked up to, you know, they were public figures, political leaders, some even, you know, celebrities. And uh over time I found out that, you know, a few of them were living completely contrary to what they they did in public. And so that the image was polished, but the private life didn't match. And that was a hard letdown for me. And it exposed something in me, and and I've given too much weight to the opinions of people who didn't actually walk uh with me or live in my house. And that's part of what kind of freed me from needing approval from the crowd. Um, you know, I don't need clicks or likes or any of that, and and I I spend much energy worrying about what people out there say about my life. I do care what what family experiences from my life. So, you know, if my wife can say, you know, he loved me, he repented uh what he was wrong and he believed for us, and and kids can say, you know, dad was present and he you know he told the truth and he showed up. Um, you know, and he also showed us what what it looks like to follow God, even when they coughed. Um that's what matters to me um more than any headline or proclamation. So uh it's just to avoid your question, if I had to sum it up, I would say uh I guess I hope that people under my roof, so my immediate family can say that I was the same man at home that I was in public. And and and you know, my life pointed them to Christ, not to me. And and else's opinion after that is is secondary.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

That's good. I think that's the most important thing. And by default, if your family's proud of you, other people will be too. I can almost guarantee it.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Yeah, other people see that.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

Yeah, exactly. At least the people that matter the most, you know, the the mindedness, it's pretty obvious when you're doing great things that that's have a great effect on your family. Now, the family still has their own choices to make, don't they? They still have to live by the fruit and the fruit that you've given them and be that. Because not all kids do, right? Not all wives make the good choices, but uh as God is giving you leadership, they're around us, and we're tech talking about our immediate family, have ever opportunity to also succeed. So that's a beautiful thing. So, what advice would you give a young man that's um maybe facing a decision to go into the military?

Advice For Young Men Choosing Service

SPEAKER_03 41:32

Maybe they're facing the decision, I'm gonna get out of the military.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

I would say uh first off, stop chasing comfort and start embracing responsibility, and that's whether you're going in the military or not. You know, I'm I'm when you said a young man, I'm thinking somebody coming out of high school, right? Comfort is uh bad, it can be a bad thing. And and world the world tells you, you know, to do whatever feels good and avoid anything that feels hard, right? And the road leads to weakness and regret every time, I promise you. So you want to choose the hard things that build you, all right? And you know, show up on time, work with your hands, train your body, tell the truth, um, honor your commitments that you make. Um, you know, I would also say get around uh you know those good mentors, get around older men who are actually living the kind of life that you want, right? So so look at who you're surrounded by, look at who you're you're up to, and who love your family, who walk with God, and do the right thing, uh, even when nobody's watching, right? So the definition of integrity. Um, ask questions. Listen more than you talk, you know, when you're around those that that that that individual or those people, you know, let them correct you. Take that correction. And um I'd also say guard your input. Right? You know, what you watch, we've talked about this several times. What you watch, listen to what you scroll through, it's um discipling you, whether you know it or not, you know. So whether that's you know pornography or rage content and you know, mindless media, it it'll eat your strength from the inside out and it'll feed your mind, you know, you you have to feed your mind with truth and your body with things that make you stronger, not weaker. Um so I I would say that, yeah, that's probably what I would tell them. You know, settle settle this list in the habits earth, right? Because real success is not about how many people know your name. Um, it's about how well you love the people under your roof and how faithfully you follow the calling that God has given you.

SPEAKER_03 43:22

God, there's there's truth in what you say. It's I would smile and just listening to you say it's like this is uh so of what I say in Living Inside Out, and it's a common ground we have because we've learned from the School of Hard Knocks. We've educated ourselves, we've been under leadership that helps us grow. We've seen lots of bad leadership, and we know that's how I'm not gonna do it. And so giving this advice to young men is so valuable because it crosses all boundaries and barriers. Doesn't matter what path you take in terms of military or civilian life, education through college or vocation training. But you do have to educate yourself and you do have to have discipline. You do have to do things that are hard for you and you get rewarded by overcoming and doing the things that are hard. And it's oftentimes you'll laugh about this, I think, James. Oftentimes people tell me when I'm on the mat, and I've said this to other people too, man, you're such a natural. You know, because the physical movement when you see an athlete move, and there's lots of other greater athletes than I am, but when we're in my environment and I'm showing them my drills and skills and they're like, wow, such a natural, huh? I go, well, you know, at this point I have about 70,000 hours on the mat. 41 years. Right. So I know you mean that as a compliment, but it's almost an insult saying that there's no work ethic behind it. Because it didn't not everything comes natural. And I can tell you this, I've seen a lot of people in the training environments. I've seen them in college, I've seen them on the job. People that were smarter, more handsome, more talented, more gifted, and I just simply outworked them and excelled right beyond where they were. They sometimes quit early, sometimes they can't take uh you know criticism, they can't overcome the difficulties. But you know the idea is never give up. Always continue to do your best and be the best version of you, not trying to be somebody else that you're not but man the suffering aspect is something that I think the culture needs to really truly and that goes back to that even that conversation I had with the mom about you know my daughters having to go through their own form of suffering and they're going to be better for it versus trying to make my kid's life as easy as it can be. Now we all do that don't we though it's a battle we fight as a father to make your your kids life better as you go along, right?

SPEAKER_02 45:44

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

That ties right into the question though that what does success

Redefining Success Beyond Headlines

SPEAKER_03 45:50

mean now? Now that you have this knowledge and you're you're with such great truth about the most important things in life that just happen to be part of the seven M's, you know, set apart farms has the same foundation. So what does success mean now to you?

SPEAKER_02 46:03

And it it all comes back to families, right? It's it's my wife feeling safe with me. You know, not afraid of which version of me is it's going to do the door. Um you know my children knowing that their dad's present not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. And work through our program and leave with more hope than the home together. I would I would have to be hear my story or just a lot. Regardless of how many people know about your click or if you know at the end of my life I if the family knows that they were loved and led well and we're safe and and people can say you know you pointed us to Christ and taught us to keep fighting that to me that that fits right there.

SPEAKER_03 47:05

Yeah that's awesome. You're you're right. That is success. And there's a trickle down effect that's going to happen when you have a successful life at home and you've got the great support that you need because everybody's on the same page spiritually, mentally emotionally physically and there's varying degrees of on that you know as we go through life but generally speaking when you lay that great foundation of serv being a servant of Christ and a servant of your family leading from the front all kinds of great things are going to happen. So our scripture for this this aspect of that very thing is Proverbs 1322 and it says a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children and there's nothing more powerful than leaving an inheritance of wisdom and knowledge and understanding who the creator of the universe is and quote that obedience and dis and discipline lead to success of the family. And as the family goes so will the nation so here's a closing challenge. If if your yours he named a day after you what would they say you stood for so this aligns with our Faith Foundry and freedom message for Patriot Talk Radio, for set apart farms and for living inside out as well as Herbs of the Torah. We all have this common ground of understanding it it really is about faith, family and freedom. And the freedom is a gift and it's also a liability sometimes I wish that I didn't have so much free will because that's where I get in trouble. But this is why we focus on Christ. So join us at Living Inside Out and DefendFit. Listen to our show on Spotify and and Apple Podcast Living Inside

How To Get Help And Get Involved

SPEAKER_03 48:40

Out with John Peake hear more from James and Angela on the shows as we go forward and we are getting ready to move towards a video production of this as well and so I'm excited about that.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

James you excited about doing a video production of this I am absolutely I think it's going to be yeah I think it gets the next step. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

I think we can do things with the video aspect that we can't do with just audio but both of them together and you and I talked about it we can always do audio only even if there is video like I'll do that with YouTube put on a YouTube video that I want to hear the content put my my uh headphones in and I'm driving I only keep one and some other ears open to what's going on around me. But yeah it's about growing in education so listen join us uh at DefendFit at 17th El Camino Real in Webster Texas and do some training on martial art fitness and firearms we got a lot going on there where there's all kinds of mentorship as well workshops are coming up and I'm going to encourage James and Angela to be part of that those ones and so you have a lot of things a lot of resources and experience and a lot of suffering that you're going to avoid by by into set apart farms herbs of the Torah and and inside out with DefendFit. So join us next time let's uh close out with

Prayer And Closing Challenge

SPEAKER_03 49:51

prayer. Father we thank you for letting us do this show. We thank you for uh Matt Velazquez and Patriot Talk Radio for giving us the opportunity we thank you for the funds that have come to provide that we thank you for the suffering that you put James and I through so we can share that with you and overcome and help you to do some of those things and to put it in the right perspective when you are suffering you're not alone. We're a family of warriors training with persons and as the scripture says in Proverbs 2717 iron sharpens one person sharpens another so don't if you feel alone reach out to me 713 2525836 and we will get you the help you need. In Jesus' name Amen.

SPEAKER_04 50:30

Amen tune in next week for another edition of the Living Inside Out Radio Show inside out is a slogan it's a mentoring movement it's about training leaders on the inside out of it spiritualist financialists temperament equity encouraged another trend episode of Living Inside Out.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

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