Protect What Matters

Danger rarely announces itself, and stress rarely stays contained to just one person. We sit down with James Holland and Angela Holland of Set Apart Farms and Herbs of the Torah to get practical about protecting what matters most: faith, family, health, and readiness. The heart of the conversation is simple but challenging: when a veteran is struggling, the whole household feels it, and real change accelerates when the family stops operating in silos and starts healing, planning, and training as one unit.

We talk about the hidden drivers that quietly strain marriages and parenting, including chronic fatigue, anxiety, poor sleep, digestive issues, and inflammation. Angela shares what she sees across generations and why “what can I take for this?” is usually the wrong starting point. We dig into root-cause thinking, biblical principles of health, and small environmental shifts that help a home feel peaceful on purpose, from tidying as a team to lighting, worship music, and simple nervous system resets.

Then we move from health to readiness. James explains why situational awareness matters more than fighting: early threat detection gives you options, lowers risk, and helps you get your family home safe. We also share what our upcoming family readiness workshop includes in Webster, Texas at DefendFit, with hands-on self-defense basics, transitional space safety, and practical planning for children and vulnerable family members.

If you want stronger relationships, smarter preparation, and a calmer home that reflects your faith, this conversation gives you a place to start. Subscribe, share this with someone you want to protect, and leave a review so more families can find these tools.

Transcript

Protecting Faith Family And Health

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the Living Inside Out Radio Show with John Peake.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Welcome back to Living Inside Out. I'm your host, John Peake. We've got our gre guest today, James Holland and Angela Holland with Set Apart Farms and Herbs of the Torah. Today's subject is protecting what matters, faith, family, health, and readiness. So our goal really is to promote a workshop as well. So we get to see you face to face. We get to you know specifically give you some tools that you'll interact with us, and it's going to be very powerful. So the workshop will be in Webster, Texas at DefenFit on El Camino Real over by Johnson Space Center. We're going to give you some tools in family self-defense and situational awareness. We'll talk about natural remedies for health and healing, some very simple things that you'll just start to phase in as you phase out. Other products that we've seen and the science shows us they aren't good for you. We'll be uh talking about relationship intelligence and having uh some interaction uh with Angela and James, giving us some great example on building a stronger marriage, even when you're under stress. And for example, how to be smart and argue responsibly, because you will have disagreements. And then we'll we'll tie that all together in our faith and purpose and leaving a family legacy. So it's so important that we affect our generations in a positive way and counteract the culture that's coming in so heavily against the family, against our faith, against our Constitution, even. So thank you for being here today where we help people live from the inside out, faith first, family second, and purpose in every area of life. So we're talking about something every husband and wife, parent, grandparent, veteran, and first responder needs to hear. How do we protect what matters most? Not just from crime, and not just from illness, and not just from cultural pressures. All those are all very real, and we will deal specifically with those. But how do we build, you know, families that are spiritually strong, emotionally healthy, physically prepared, and deeply connected? So thank you for joining me today, James and Angela. It's always a pleasure to have you here. Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Thank you so much. We're happy to be back.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Well, I always I can say this every show, man. The more we talk, both on air, live, and in color, and you know, before the show, after the show, on the phone, I just feel very connected to set apart farms and living inside uh in Herbs of the Tour because it fits perfectly inside everything I want in my life, too. Right? I want healing and deliverance. I want to be transformed from the inside out. I want to be healthy and well. And I just read the other day Benadryl causing dementia in Alzheimer's. They've got proven track record, and I checked it with AI. Of course, you got to believe AI, right? But it's always good to get educated and see the science out there behind

Veterans Feel Isolated But Aren’t

SPEAKER_03 3:12

it. So, James, you've worked with many veterans in their families. So, what's the first thing you learned that surprised you?

SPEAKER_06 3:19

I'd say one thing that continues to surprise me is is how many families think that they're uh alone uh with what they're going through. Right? I'll talk with a veteran who's convinced that his situation is is uniquely hopeless, right? His his anger, his shutdown, his nightmares, sense of failure, um, or whatever it may be, maybe all of the above. Well we'll talk and and then we'll we'll we'll talk with his spouse and and and hear the same isolation on her side, right? And the kids feel it too, even if they can't put uh words to it. So what surprises me is how common that story is and and yet how isolated everyone feels while they're going through it. Um I'd say and you know another big surprise is just how much uh changes when you stop treating the veteran as the only patient and start working with the whole family. Uh when the husband, the wife, and the kids begin uh healing together, sharing burdens, learning skills, uh praying, training, and you know, m making changes as a unit, the the pace of transformation is completely different. And the veteran isn't, you know, trying to climb out alone anymore. The whole family's moving together toward uh health and purpose.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

That's so good, man. The whole family carries these burdens, don't they? I think um we're more similar than dissimilar. I say that on the mat, how we learn, how we take in knowledge to protect ourselves or spiritually protect ourselves. When I speak on spiritual warfare and the struggles that we go through and how we deal with it, so many of us are having the exact same thoughts sometimes, troubles, struggles, confrontation, and the same thing on the joy side and good side. A lot of us are having some real successes and they've overcome. And so collectively we can share these uh stories and these really struggles sometimes, or need for prayer, or need for discussion together. And that's exactly why we want to have a workshop. That's why we want to have these discussions on living inside out radio and set apart farms and herbs of the tour. It's about educating ourselves. So some of the things that I think come up are the need for veterans to heal as a whole, as a whole family, with their children and wives. And that's no different in the civilian area. Uh and so this is why we want to show you the love of Jesus, why we want to point you to health and wellness, why we want to help you be intelligent uh with your family, with all that goes on with your health, with your marriage. And it really does start with your faith and then right into the marriage. That's the second most important covenant you're promised in a marriage. And things have a real good chance of going well when you start with the two most important things. That is your faith, and that is your commitment to your family, your wife first. So practical help that people can apply immediately is is the goal. Angela, what do you think is the most

Spouses Need A Real Action Plan

SPEAKER_03 6:05

surprising as y'all reached out to the veterans?

SPEAKER_04 6:07

Um, you know, uh can I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Yeah, it's the same question. What surprised you when you started working with these families and the veterans and all that they were dealing with? And as a veteran's wife, you've already got this experience. What surprised you about dealing with the the family members?

SPEAKER_04 6:25

Um, you know, a lot of what James said, but in a different perspective, listening to the spouses wanting to have a plan for action, but not knowing, you know, where to begin that plan. So instead of feeling hopeless, uh, feeling lost, where do I start? How do I put all of this together? You know, all this information that's out there can be overwhelming, right? Especially when I was trying to navigate the VA system on top of taking care of my daughter, on top of taking care of my husband. The information was out there. It was like a netlane. I really couldn't access it in a real way. And so really getting that schedule and making that information applicable is something that I noticed that a lot of the families were looking for. How to make it accessible, easy to follow, um, and something that they can be implementing right away. Because it wasn't even a lack of um, you know, not wanting to do it, but it's like how do I grasp all of this and make it work for my family because everyone in my family is so different.

SPEAKER_06 7:34

Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's a good point that she makes. It's it's a lot of um nobody's really laying it out there for the whole family, right? It's always either it's it's you know, the veteran or then, you know, the spouse and or the kids. They're all three broken up and they're really not.

SPEAKER_04 7:47

So you're or they'll give you bits and pieces. Well, this is what you do, you know, for making your appointments, or this is what you do um when you're starting your health journey. But how does you know what does my day look like when I have appointments? I have children to take care of, I have health that needs to be addressed. So how do I make that into a coherent plan where it's something that I'm gonna stick with every day?

SPEAKER_03 8:09

Having a plan is key, isn't it? Having some organization in your thoughts and uh the freedom too, I think, communicating with the spouse, between the spouse and the kids, uh, about the bigger picture. We'd like to move in this new direction so we can all have uh express our thoughts, express our feelings. And you know, I used to have these family meetings, and I would have them whether there's anything special that we needed to talk about, you know. Like sometimes I'd have family meetings where there's definitely some issues going on in the house between the kids or something going on at school that happened with one of them, and then the other ones finding out about it and all these dynamics, right? So sometimes you're having a crisis family meeting, and that's good to deal with it, right? I can remember my spouse saying she was kind of fearful every time we had family meetings because of what I might say or how it things might develop or the individual, you know, argument, if you will, between children. Um but it was always calm and it always came a we came out of the family meeting where everybody got to express themselves and talk about their experiences and perspective. And yeah, sometimes you have disagreements, but generally when you have um organization and less chaos and you get to speak your peace and you do it in love and you have your faith, you're driving it, you know, with prayer first and with the knowledge of the word. But that changes everything, man. And how do you impress on the families when they're not in that spiritual mode that they're not maybe not even attending church yet? Um is it something y'all would uh

Family Meetings Prayer And Hope

SPEAKER_03 9:45

model in terms of like this is how we've been doing it, and we weren't always like this. Do you tell them some testimonies of uh what I think of as a before and after model?

SPEAKER_04 9:56

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And as you were speaking, it reminded me of something when I was in sales a long time ago that without an objection, the sale wasn't gonna happen. And I always find that curious, but uh it really makes sense in relationships. So where there's objections, that means someone is trying. They're trying to get their voice across, they're trying to get their needs across. Uh so lots of the times we would start with the objections that we used to have, and how when you can work over those objections and get to a point where the person, um, their objection is heard, then you can actually begin to close the deal, you know, um start working on that relationship and start moving forward. But sharing that you've been through those objections that the children had, the partner had, and you're able to work through those objections with love and with faith and how that looks on the other side, it's often the encouragement and direction that uh individual needs to hear to try it in their own family.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's good stuff, man. Did you see their faces light up when they started seeing hope as you shared some of these things with them?

SPEAKER_06 11:00

Yeah, absolutely. It helps. I mean, it it really helps with veterans. You can see it in the veterans almost like a sigh of relief when when we share, like, okay, well, we're not just saying I understand what you're going through. No, no, no, we we literally like we went through the same thing. Right. And this is our story, right? Here's what happened to us. Um oftentimes you'd be surprised how many times veterans go to the VA and they're speaking to a student, a resident student that has no there's there's no connection there at all. Right. And so they'll say, um, and that gets frustrating after a while. So then when you finally get a family and you're talking to them through these issues and problems, you're like, listen, we don't just understand it, we went through it. Right. We were there.

SPEAKER_04 11:42

We lived it. We were facing divorce, we were facing separation, we were not in the faith. We every objection that you have, we we live. So uh we understand, and and yeah, that definitely that's what you want to hear when you're going through it too, is not a dead flat. Oh, I understand, but tell me how you understand. What did you do? What did it look like for you?

SPEAKER_03 12:03

Right. I find that so uh freeing. For example, when my father would share something about his past, something he went through, man, you fully captivated listening, eye contact, no distraction, you know, because you're like, you know, it's a real conversation. And I think having those real conversations and sharing um your failures many times is much more powerful than your successes. But that process of going through the struggle, failing, coming out of the failure, and rediscovering a path forward is something that so many families are struggling with right now. You know, the divorce rate and I wanted to say various types of abuse, which abuse abuse of alcohol, abuse of drugs, abuse of food, uh really it's abuse of time and it's a shame. It's a waste of the mind, right? We're really wasting our minds by not paying attention to the simple the simple flow of knowledge that comes through the word first. So I go back to my living inside out, the ministry, things that come through the word of God and your per finding your purpose and calling, and then right through you know the relationships that are in our life that are causing stress and and or blessing and recognizing those, being thankful for those that we do have that are great, and then fixing or working towards creating the right boundaries or changing our thinking around how we're managing those things. So right on through the other seven M's ministry, marriage, mentoring, media, martial arts, muscle, and money, um, helping you to get healthy and and defend fit, right? Defending the things that are causing problems and getting fit in all the right ways. So this is what the workshop will deal with on some practical application on leveling up in these various areas and some breakouts where you can communicate with the people that are that are there just speaking uh naturally you feel like sharing. I think that'll be a powerful, powerful thing too. So um let me ask a question. Um when y'all interact as a husband and wife, do you do any role playing for uh the veterans in their families that might make them laugh?

SPEAKER_06 14:11

Yeah, I think the things that have happened to us uh that are not even role-playing, we just tell them the truth and it's it's almost amusing enough. And it's especially because they understand it. Um you know, they get it and they're like, Yeah. There's a lot of times we'll tell a story or something that we had to go through and and the result of it. And and I mean, a lot of times they're like, Oh my gosh, you two? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:34

Or even the little ones. When I first started um, you know, my faith-based counseling, I was very muted in faith, and forgiveness just wasn't something that I really understood, you know, and sharing that, being open and raw and being like, wait a minute, like I'm supposed to forgive this stuff or are you kidding me? Like, no, I'm taking tally, and until it's all even, like, there's a debt to be paid. And so just sharing that, just being yourself with these people, um, sometimes it's just the humor that they need, or or just to even, you know, break a dead stare and get that half grin to be like, okay, you know, I I can relate with that. There's there's one of us right there in that story.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

That's awesome. Listen, we're gonna talk more about that because now we're getting somewhere into like this meat and potatoes that I love. The second segment here is healthy families and strong families. And um, we're gonna talk about that. We'll be right back with more from Living in Step Out Radio with James and Jamal to set up our farms and go to the tour. Don't go away.

Sponsors And Safety Resources

SPEAKER_01 15:29

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SPEAKER_02 16:30

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Chronic Fatigue Anxiety And Sleep Loss

SPEAKER_03 17:31

Welcome back to Living It Inside Out. I've got my guest, Angela and James Holland with Set Apart Farms and Herbs of the Torah. So we're talking about healthy families and strong families. And when I think about how to do that, I think sometimes, of course, because I operate with DefendFit, uh martial art fitness and firearms, I compare things sometimes to this battle we have on the on the mat, battle we have in life, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. And a lot of times I think about it's it's what I'm learning and battle-tested. Am I continually enhancing it as well? And so combat proven, battle-tested is why I asked you both if you're telling your story, you know, the real story of interaction between you two as a husband and wife when everything's falling apart, and then show them how you overcame, because that is combat. And battle-tested is you came through successful. And now you're continuing to learn and grow. And uh I think some of the best ways to learn and grow is not only did you go through the struggle and overcame, but now you're teaching others. So pushing it forward, which is right in the mentoring category. Angela, one l one thing, and there's many things I love about what y'all are doing, but about your ministry and herbs of the Torah is you're helping families return to simple biblical principles of health. You're discussing nutrition, and one that's really big to me along with that is inflammation, the stress, the sleep, the natural support tools. So what are some of the common health issues you're seeing in families, in veterans' families, and church families, and your youth that you're you're doing at at uh church? What are some of the health issues and do they share those openly with you?

SPEAKER_04 19:18

Yeah, um, you know, well, to a point, right? There's always that introductory period where I think people want to listen more than they want to speak. But when it becomes time, yeah, I'm uh especially at our church known as the lady that runs uh the Herbs of the Torah page. So I do get a lot of great discussions, and I love sharing that with um the next generation. But really, throughout all the generations, um I'm seeing a lot of the same patterns across different families, regardless of background, ethnicity, or age. And just to get into those real quick, because I think it's gonna, you know, resonate with a lot of the listeners, is chronic fatigue is huge, right? We have moms and dads who wake up tired, go to bed tired, they're running on caffeine and stress instead of real rest. Anxiety is another big one for both adults and kids. People feel wired and overwhelmed, like their nervous system never gets to stand down. And we've talked about a lot of those contributing factors through environmental, food, pharmaceuticals. Uh poor sleep is almost universal for these late-night screens, right? That's the only time they have for themselves, or regular schedules and high stress that keep the brain and the body from getting into that deep restorative rest that is so important for every age group, and that's gonna spill over into their mood and their focus and patience with one another. So relationships, right, especially in marriage and parenting. One thing that I think is the conduit to it all is a lot of digestive

Inflammation Digestion And Processed Foods

SPEAKER_04 20:50

issues and inflammation. Inflammation is so much bigger than people realize, um, and it's in every age group. So that bloating, that discomfort, the brain fog, the joint pain. A lot of this is tied, as we've talked about before, to process food, sugar, seed oils, and additives again, pharmaceuticals, why they might be helping one issue, then they're taxing an organ on the body that's gonna lead to inflammation, and that's gonna keep the body in this low-grade inflammatory state. And so when your body's inflamed and exhausted, your fuse is obviously shorter, your pain is higher, your patience is thinner, and every relationship feels harder. And it's all connected, it just falls under that umbrella of the stress overload that ties it all together. And so families are carrying financial pressure, emotional baggage, um, all the constant noise and information, especially if you're scrolling and you haven't categorized what you're scrolling and you're just looking at everything that comes out there, and then having that very little um you know, true recovery to time with God, time in prayer and meditation. And so when you combine all of that, you don't just get physical symptoms, you get Homes that they feel tense, and marriages that are strained and and kids who are on edge. Uh one thing I love whenever we have visitors is they just say that your house is so peaceful. And that's because I work to make it that way. It just it's I don't wake up and it's just peaceful, although I would love that. So you have to really cultivate that environment um of peace in your home.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

I don't think uh a lot of people realize that the that health impacts every relationship had that they have. That even your identity yourself. When you're feeling pain, I used to ask my mom why my grandpa was so grumpy, and I didn't realize because I'd, you know, nobody told me that. And and really honestly, grandpa, he didn't my granddad didn't complain, but he was in a lot of pain at various times knee pain, hip pain, joint pain. Working and growing old is not for the weak and feeble-minded man. You gotta be a little bit tough to grow old, and it's a re reward to grow old. But I noticed as I've gotten older, I'm dealing with a lot more inflammation. I'm dealing with uh the myofascial tissue will get stuck, the layers, it gets stuck, and so instead of uh the muscles move the individual striations moving independently, that whole myofascial tissue like saran rip gets stuck, and you have to free those layers up. And you know, that's why they have you know massage and they have various things like um the Theragun was a great tool. It's like a ballistic massage, it doesn't go in circles or orbital, it goes like a jigsaw, it goes in and out, and that really helped to break up. Uh dry needling, where they can actually use uh acupuncture needles and they barely break the surface, but they can spin them and the the stripes, the myofascial tissue will wrap around the needle and free up the layers. And that was really surprising to me because in martial arts I had done a lot of acupuncture since uh the early and mid-80s. And so I'd never heard of dry kneeling before. Most of the time it's hitting the acupuncture points and it's treating injuries or opening up some flow of uh what we call in martial arts qi, it's opening up energy flows to your body on these 12 meridians, and there's a lot of success with it. The biggest the most uh surprising was when I had shingles and I went to my acupunctures and he completely took the pain away. And they were gone within two days completely. I walked out of there with 50, 50, maybe 75 percent uh less pain. But I was I don't think uh any one thing is gonna answer the problem. It's like a combination of things like so spirit, mind, and body. And so I like how you're zeroing in on finding out these problems, the chronic fatigue, the anxiety, the poor sleep, you know, stress overloads, and um the home not being peaceful. That stress, man, is so detrimental to the family's happiness and the marriage happiness.

SPEAKER_04 24:53

Yeah, I'll get lots of messages saying, you know, um, what can I take for a headache? Or what can I take for this? And then I'll send them about 15 questions because it it's all dependent on the root of your headache, of the root of your pain, of what is going on. There's there's background that needs to be had for every single issue.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

You don't want to just treat the symptom, right? You want to get to the root cause. And I know for the three of us, that's why we talk about our faith. It's where we talk about the word of God, we talk about time and prayer and time spreading reading the word and sharing that together as your husband and wife. You know, um, there was a president that said he he he and his wife never went to bed without reading the word together, right before they went to bed. And he said, We did that because you can't really stay mad at each other when you're reading the word of God. You kind of gotta it's convicting. In fact, Hebrews 4 12 says that the word of God is alive and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the bone and marrow and the divisions, and is a revealer of the intents of the heart. So, Angela, talking about communication to manage stress, that's where I think you're talking about specifically creating peace in the home. So give somebody some uh real give them an idea of something you would say to create peace in the home and reduce stress.

Simple Ways To Create Peace

SPEAKER_04 26:13

Something so simple that people can do that doesn't take any type of training. And I people might get mad at me for this, but I promise you it works. Have a clean space, make your bed in the morning, tidy up, put on some worship music, and simply work to create an ambiance that cultivates peace. Right? If we have uh things all over the place and everywhere we look, it's causing us stress because so much needs to be done. The first thing is to, you know, relieve those issues by as a team, right? If you have children, you have helper number one and helper number two, and you make it a family affair just like a dinner. So you start with the simple things and you build up to the more complex things because then you gain confidence, like, oh my house looks great, it feels really peaceful and clean in here. Take a diffuser. Diffuser is such a great way to create a very peaceful type of ambiance as well as get those aromatic benefits of essential oils, and you're learning about essential oils as you're putting them in there. What does this oil do? So, really first just try to create that space, even if it's one room at a time, where that can be a peaceful place for you.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

I like that. I even use them, a lighting change, man, to create a mood change. Sometimes uh that's a big deal when you have these harsh, bright white lights, man, and there are families already coming home from those type of environments, and they really need a huge switch in in what it feels like to be in their sanctuary. I I think the home should be a sanctuary, someplace where it's like your place of peace and rest and revive, you know, a place to recharge, and you're creating a new rhythm, right? And so a place where you can support each other.

SPEAKER_04 27:56

It's wonderful you mentioned lighting, because that can also work to de-escalate things. A lot of people that have nervous system disorders or anxiety, they'll become overstimulated by the environment. And so if it goes the other way, this is such a simple thing, just go into a quiet, dark room for about two to five minutes. And then that will change your system by kind of calming all of the senses. So, like you said, using lighting to to change things, you know, whether you need to go up or down in stimulation. There's just so many simple things um that that can be done that we have access to that we don't need a whole lot of education to right at the beginning.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

Exactly. Yeah. I can remember uh my mom dropping me off at a babysitter, and you know, I'm like, this is a 70s, so I'm like uh seven years old, and and she's leaving me with these hippies that uh live next door to us. I mean, they're really hippies, you know, and they have this mood lighting going, man. There's incidents going on, and I'm like tripping, really. I'm like shocked as a kid, it's not like our house, you know. Uh but I tell you what, man, it was a lot calmer. They had this vibe going on, and so um, of course, I wouldn't say it was like organized and clean, but I know when I clean up, when I get organized, when I have the like, the right mood, and I do a lot of that with lighting and music, and that really changes the communication in the room. And my wife made a comment a while back that she comes back into the bedroom and she's like, Man, it's like a whole new world in here. I go, Yeah, what do you mean? Well, the lighting and the music, it's not like that out front. I said, Well, maybe it ought to be. What do you think? Let's transport it, man, to the living room, to the kitchen, to that dining room. Yeah, it does make a difference, man, the environment you create. I love how you you're focusing on that as a peaceful home, but it should be, in a place where we can connect and get really imagine a family where the mom and dad are really connected and the kids can feel that and they feel more confident in who they are and where they're at, they feel secure and safe, you know. Um well, we're gonna talk about that and practice a little bit of that in our workshops. We're

Workshop Skills Family Defense Basics

SPEAKER_03 30:09

gonna give you some safety skills and awareness. We're also gonna do some family self-defense, what that looks like individually, as well as positioning when you're in a group and going through can what I call transitional spaces from cars to building and building to car. And so it's gonna be some good practical stuff. I'll even introduce some pepper spray, both products that I like, as well as how do you use a pepper spray. I'll have a tutorial video that you can take with you. And so just some real good hands-on stuff in our family workshop coming on that's gonna cover uh some of these key things that we've been discussing today. So listen, don't go away. We like to pray, we train, we go home safe, and that's what Livia's got out on Defendia and Zed Apart Farms and Herbsador are all about all those things. So don't go away, we'll be right back.

Sponsors And Training Opportunities

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Life doesn't wait for perfect timing, and danger doesn't announce itself. That's why at DefendFit Self-Defense and Fitness, we train you with real techniques for real situations. From crop begun to knife defense, from stick fighting to firearms awareness, our system is built on real-world defense, not roles or forms. Our DefendFit classes combine intense functional fitness with practical self-defense so you get stronger and safer, all in one section. Whether you want to protect yourself, your loved ones, or your community, we've got you covered. Beginners welcome. All fitness levels invited. This is empowerment you feel on the street and in your life. Visit Israeliselfdefense.net or call 713-252-5836. That's 713-252-5836 now. Defend fit, where your confidence becomes your strongest defense.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

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SPEAKER_00 32:58

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Readiness Plans For Real Life

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Welcome back to Living Ins Dot Out Radio. I'm your host, John Peake, and I'm back with James and Angela Holland that have really continued their service as a servicemen and a former Marine. He's continued his service with Set Apart Farms, and Angela has been really setting the bar high, I feel like, with with Herbs of the Torah and organizing the family. And I think that really helps as you feed off each other. We pray, we train, we go home safe, we make our home safe. And you know, at DefendFit, I teach martial arts, fitness, and firearms. And we teach that confidence comes from preparation. There will be fear if something were to happen, some type of confrontation, but you use that fear to raise your awareness, anticipation, and allow the preparation to continue to grow. Many times I have people call me up because of the fear and anxiety that's something that almost happened, and it leads them to preparation. And so it's really important for you to prepare spiritually, to be fit, to defend fit spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. And so in our workshop coming up, we're going to be talking about situational awareness, early threat detection, a family emergency planning, protecting your children, or aging parents, or even somebody in the home that may be injured. And so gosh, I've had lots of different surgeries over the year due to training and athletics in general. And so I'm always feeling quite vulnerable when I'm recovering from something like that. It could just be you're having a a low energy day or you're sick. But let's ask this question, James, why is awareness more important than f actual fighting?

Why Awareness Beats Fighting

SPEAKER_06 35:13

Uh probably because most bad situations can be avoided long before there's a need to even throw a punch. Right. When you're aware of your surroundings, uh when you see things developing early, you know, like strange behavior, tension in a crowd, um, you know, maybe a vehicle that doesn't look right, someone's paying too much attention to your kids. Um, that early detection, that situational awareness gives you options, right? You can leave, you can leave position, you can create distance, you can call for help. Um that's kind of what it looks like winning before the fight starts. You know, for families, awareness is a mindset, right? It's not paranoia. It's uh it's teaching your kids to notice exits and to to to stay stay close by you in public, to recognize when something fills off and and to speak up, right? It's having basic plans. We talk about planning all the time, having a plan. Um, you know, hey, look, if we get separated, here's what we do, right? If someone makes you uncomfortable, here's here's what you say, and here's who you come to. Um, you know, we we always and we stress this before, fighting's a last resort. You absolutely should know how to defend yourself if things go bad. But with good awareness, good situational awareness, wise decisions, um, and some clear family plans, you can drastically reduce the odds of ever needing to go hands-on. And and so the goal is not really to prove how tough you are, right? It's to get your family home safe. That's the goal.

SPEAKER_03 36:36

The best fight is the one you never have, absolutely. A lot of that uh is an outpouring of like a continuation, I guess if you will, how we prepare by having medical insurance. We prepare by having car insurance, we have a spare tire, we check the fluids. So at home, you're making sure you have medicine when you need it. And a simple thing, you know, uh you know first aid kit, you know, you have a fire extinguisher and the cold spells coming up, so you wrap the pipes. And so most people are very astute and familiar with all those things I said, but when you think of and you have a discussion with many people about have you ever trained for actual self-defense? And they're like, No, no. And it it's different people in different times that I've had these discussions with over the many years, my 41st year teaching and training. And some people on one side can be real extreme, like, well, I got a gun, so I don't need to know how to do that chop-suey stuff, or you know, um, I don't like guns, I don't want to have that in my house. Or um, you know, I think it'll just kick in when I need it most, so it'll just come to me, you know, kind of living in a fantasy land. Um, there's some that actually grew up doing sports and and and fought the neighborhood. There's some people that have never ever been hit before. Uh so the gamut is huge. But one of the biggest things that comes out, I believe, on training once a week, twice a week, uh in self-defense, uh, some type of martial art is just feeling better, just the confidence that comes uh from exercising and being a healthy body and knowing uh a little bit about the anatomy and if I had to hit somebody or defend being hit, both sides of that you start learning. If I hit somebody here, so listen, I don't want that to happen to me. And so let's remove ourselves, be aware, man, it's a distance, or if I have to verbally engage or physically engage, and and understanding some of the principles behind that is uh a huge confidence booster to men and women. So I've been training a lot of people here lately that have never had any hands-on before, and um they're a little bit surprised when they get um bumped around a little bit and they're like, okay, that's not as bad as I thought. Or wow, that person really needs to control themselves. So I've had this culture on the mat where it can get out of hand or it can be like totally so light that you this couldn't be functional. It's not real. And so I call the training mat a fantasyland. The martial art environment's a fantasy land. And so you had to try to match the uh this ability to train with your partner uh to keep it safe first and build their trust, build the relationship, while at the same time kind of keeping it real, being strong enough for it to be functional, but not so hard that you're gonna injure yourself. And when you're starting out, it's very easy and light, and you go through the muscle memory and you build slowly, build speed and intensity. And uh I have this process I call being a good bad guy, where you actually are being a good bad guy actually helps you to both be safe with your partner while keeping it real and then protecting yourself, helping them to protect you. In other words, don't trust them. I always get people to laugh. Yeah, don't trust your partner blindly, help them to take care of you. And then um the process of what I call my concept of threes where I have this thinking about before every anything ever happens, during the happening and after

Training Confidence And The Rule Of Threes

SPEAKER_03 39:58

it happens. And so it's very common in martial art land to just work on the technique you're working, not thinking about before, not thinking about after. And I think that if we tie that back into relationships and the marriage, I think there's a lot that we can learn from the training environment on the mat in physical self-defense, how we can start protecting our marriages when the husband and wife become a team again and you have a shared mission, shared purpose, shared faith. And you're doing things early so you don't have problems. So there's the before. And then when things come up with the during, you have a process of thinking where you're in unified and not just one person making decisions and without discussing it with the others. But Angela, talk a little bit about that shared mission between the husband and wife becoming a team again when you're dealing with the kids and your husband's home, James is there, he's in the mix, and something may come up that you want to consult with him, and you're you're also wanting to give an answer to your daughter.

Marriage As A Team Under Scripture

SPEAKER_03 41:04

How do y'all work that out on this shared mission?

SPEAKER_04 41:07

Yeah, that's a great question because for me, um, I really didn't get the understanding of working as a team until I came to the faith. So I think for um a lot of people, it's just what is the definition of a team? Are you looking at a team worldly or are you looking at it from scripture? Because it's very different. So when I started understanding what it was to be a team under Jesus, uh, I was able to get very clear directions. Um, you know, so from the wife side, when a husband becomes a a teammate again, a lot of the climate pressure starts to lift, especially in veteran um spouse relationships. It's much a different dynamic than civilian relationships, although this can apply all over any demographic, but I'm just speaking to um our experience of being a veteran couple, and so when you feel like you're carrying everything alone, like a lot of spouses do that are married to veterans. Like the kids, the schedule, meals, health, emotions, and sometimes finances also. It's easy to flip into resentment or bitterness or despair. Um but then when your husband steps back in as a partner, even in small, consistent ways, hope starts to come back. And that's where living under scripture makes that possible because um you're not really understanding what forgiveness is and what unity is and how that works according to scripture, you're gonna be stuck in a lot of these steps, um, because you're not gonna be able to get past yourself and how you're feeling, and it's completely valid. A lot of people have been hurt. Life is messy, and the pain that you feel is very valid. But do you want to live there forever? And if the answer is no, which I hope it is for most people, then at some point you're gonna have to let go of that. And for me, the only thing that was able to help with that was learning about Jesus and and who I could be in him and living by his way. And so then when you understand that respect and communication all can take place, right? You can grow when you see each other showing up. Start right where you are, you can't live in the resentment, um, or will never leave your life. So things like, hey, thank you for handling that, or how can I help you today? Or even, you know, can we pray about this together? Can you pray for me or how can I pray for you? It may sound simple, but they rebuild trust and connection. And there's so many studies about how these types of biblical concepts actually change your brain dynamic, right? And renewing our mind and the word and in biblical principles and concepts. And so then encouragement becomes natural the way that it should be for us when you're on the same team. So instead of seeing each other as an obstacle or critic or problem or a negative aspect of your life, you become each other's biggest supporter. right your one body and that's how it should be you're one together in unity if you create a non seventeen i feel how hard you're trying to what you can or i'm proud of the way you handle that and that feels both of you because you're gonna feel good saying the things and they're gonna feel good hearing no things so for us i'm only gonna keep going back to scripture and prayer because together those are what feel it those are what keep you um in unity you have right you're both part of the thing so when a husband and wife are constantly bringing your fears and their clans and their hope and their children before God is one change the spiritual climate of the home and that's what's gonna allow you to work as a team you're no longer just reacting to life or one another or things that are happening you're standing together under God's covering under the blood of Jesus and that's where marriage moves from looking at divorce or barely hanging on to actually becoming strong and resilient. Um you know we were looking at divorce back in 2015 and now we're headed towards 17 years of marriage and it's literally the best time in our lives because we have so much respect and love and understanding of who we are now that we didn't have before.

SPEAKER_06 45:18

Right. I think the whole dynamic and formal changes people pulling in different directions or pulling the same direction. You're actually building something together um you know whether like you can you love God or getting out of war or improving your health or serving your community like that you're united around it whatever it is. So there's definitely shared purpose is very important.

SPEAKER_04 45:51

And your family and your marriage and you become part of the most important war that you've ever been a part of which is the spiritual war for the whole territory of this earth.

SPEAKER_03 46:02

This is rich this is my vision for this type of workshop that we're talking about sharing the things that we're sharing right now and bridging this it's almost like a bridge between church and the mat,

A Bridge Between Church And Training

SPEAKER_03 46:14

right? It's like the the self-defense environment that we do on the mat has a certain quality. We get certain things from church that we certainly need always the word of God and application and then we bring it into this workshop where it's a lot more real if you will you're maybe even got you you have feedback right you can speak and interact in a workshop environment where in church you're just listening and watching and just like on the mat you're interacting with another person. So you get to kind of like go back and forth in a workshop environment where it's it's more application oriented than just sitting in a pew and listening. And for some people I think that could be a little terrifying and some other people are like oh man finally you know I get to really interact in a way um around these relationship dynamics and marriage dynamics carry that on to the food and health. So I think I think we're hitting on something very special here that's uh in need. In fact I think every church really should be open seven days a week with various workshops going on certainly always tying the word of God into what's going on but have workshops in the marriage category and what's going on and only for men, only for women but as a couple as well and so what it looks like around food and nutrition and health and let's break bread together at church. And how about media? What's going into the eyes and ears of our kids what's going on in the in the law enforcement community that they know about through the media that we don't know about right so I I have some people um homeland on the HSI home Homeland Security investigations where they they have to expose child pedophilia and human trafficking and there's stuff going on in the media world that the general population doesn't really know and sometimes it's in their home and their children are interacting with this media and they don't even know it. And so having these workshops I think we can bring a lot of truth to uh families and marriages and open the eyes of not just the husband and wife but even the children as well having family workshops where they're doing some hands-on movement on the mat and then tying that into the spiritual dynamic in a very practical way so listen friends if you've been looking for practical ways to strengthen your family this is your opportunity so we will have a family readiness coming workshop coming up in July and in August and we're gonna have different ways of doing that we're gonna be bringing situational awareness self-defense and natural revenues and wellness marriage strengthening tools family based family leadership and veterans first responders first so bring your spouse bring your ch adult children bring your underage children bring a friend bring someone who needs hope and so join us as we move through this and make the changes that you may have not made earlier or want to continue becoming stronger and safer and closer to God and closer as a family so we thank you for being here thank you James and Angela for sharing your hearts we want to get here so let's close with the Ecclesiastes 412 though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Scripture Prayer And Sendoff

SPEAKER_03 49:28

So living inside out strong in faith strong in family strong in purpose at Defend Fit we tray we pray we go home safe and many of the slogans that I I've talked about set apart farms and herbs of the Torah feel the same way about let's close out in prayer. Father God we thank you for today's show we thank you for the sharing of the hearts and experience and failures and successes Lord we ask you to continue to build us up as warriors in the spirit mind and body as we move forth today we bless all the listeners today we bless Angela and James Lord in their home and all that's going on at DefendFit. We give you the glory for all of it in Jesus' name amen.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

Amen thank you guys have a blessed day and we'll be back next week tune in next week for another edition of the Living Inside Out Radio Showing Inside Out is a spoken movement it's about training leaders on the inside out the late another episode of Living Inside Out subscribe to our podcast by searching for the Living Inside Out radio show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify