Episode 11: The Girl Chat We All Needed with Hannah Adams

Episode 11 of Beautiful Chaos with Natasha is the definition of a major girl chat the kind you wish you could bottle up and replay with your best friends.

This week, I sit down with local influencer, wife, and mom of three, Hannah Adams and let me tell you, she is a spitfire Leo in the best way.

From the moment we sat down, the walls came down. This wasn’t surface-level conversation… this was real, raw, and completely unfiltered. The kind of dialogue that reminds you how powerful it is when women show up honestly and just say the things.

We talk about friendships the good, the hard, and the ones that shape you. We get into marriage, the reality behind the highlight reel, and what it actually takes to show up for your partner and yourself. And of course… we had to get into book talk, because what’s a true girl chat without it? This episode feels like sitting around the table with your people laughing, venting, relating, and leaving feeling a little lighter and a lot more seen.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Navigating adult friendships and evolving relationships
• The real side of marriage and communication
• Motherhood with three kids and balancing it all
• Book talk, current reads, and why it matters
• Showing up authentically in every season of life

If you love honest conversations, a little sass, and a whole lot of “same, girl”… this one is for you.

 Episode 11 is LIVE on YouTube & anywhere you get your podcasts!

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Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeart
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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This episode is sponsored by LBL Land and Cattle LLC, your source for the healthiest belted Galloway beef cattle for your table. And remember, always eat beef. This episode is sponsored by Polo Grill. When you're craving a dining experience that feels timeless, refined, and truly unforgettable, there is only one place to go. At Polo Grill in Tulsa, every detail matters. From hand cut steaks and fresh seafood to an award-winning wine list and impeccable service, this is where special moments are made. Whether it's a date night, a celebration, or an evening just because Polo Grill delivers classic elegance with modern flavor. Polo Grill Exceptional Dining. This episode is sponsored by Grazy Girl Creative Luxury Catering and Boutique House bringing luxury charcuterie, beautiful events, and unforgettable experiences. Friends, if you're looking for an amazing charcuterie and a beautiful place to celebrate, you have to check out Grazy Girl. Their boards are next level, perfect for birthdays, showers, bachelorette parties, girls' night, and special occasions. Their boutique house is stunning and every detail is designed to make your event feel special. They even offer gorgeous Airbnb for stay vacations and girls' weekends. So whether you're planning something big or just want to treat your people, a crazy girl is the place. Go follow them, book them, and see it for yourself. But trust me, you'll love it. This episode is brought to you by Magnolia Soaps and Bath Co. If you've never been to Magnolia Soaps, it's more than just a store. It's an experience. Everything is clean and made without harsh chemicals so you can feel good about what you're using. They have soaps, bath bombs, body scrubs, laundry wash, candles, really everything you need for your body and your home. A lot of their products are even made right in the store, which makes it feel really personal. They also host girls' nights, birthday parties, and events where you can make your own product, which is such a fun experience. You can visit them on Cherry Street, Woodland Heels Mall, our downtown Broken Arrow, or shop online. Once you go, you'll see why everyone loves it. This episode is brought to you by Party Perfect Events. If you're planning a wedding, Party Perfect is your go-to for making your big day seamless and beautiful. From tents, tables, and chairs to linens, place settings, and a full event setup, they have everything you need to bring your vision to life. Whether you're dreaming of an outdoor ceremony or a fully styled reception, they handle all the details so you can actually relax and enjoy your day. Because your wedding should feel special, stress-free, and completely you. If you're getting ready to say I do, party perfect events has you covered. Go check them out and start planning your perfect day. A mom, a wife, a creator, a woman doing her best in the middle of the madness. This podcast was born out of the moments I thought would break me. When life felt too heavy, too chaotic, and too lonely. But somewhere in the middle of the struggle, I realized I wasn't the only one. So many women are walking through their own storms, caring stories they've never had a safe place to share. This season, I am sitting down with women who have walked through fire, rebuilt from the ashes, and found healing in places they never expected. Women who are brave enough to tell the truth, the whole truth about motherhood and everything that comes with it. Marriage, mental health, lost identity, and the beautiful mess of real life. Nothing is off limits. Nothing is filtered. This is where we are honest and where we remember we are not alone. So let's dive in and find the beauty in the chaos together. Hi guys, welcome back to The Beautiful Chaos with Natasha. If you're new here, I'm Tasha and I'm just a mom and a wife, and today's episode, we are talking about it. Today's episode, we are talking about navigating friendships with motherhood. And I could not have picked the most perfect guest for this special episode to talk about it with. Everybody, welcome, Miss Hannah Adam.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Hello, I'm happy to be here.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

I'm so glad you're here. Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm really nervous. What was your thought like when I when I messaged you? I was so scared that you were gonna back out.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

I was so scared. I was like, please don't back out. I was also scared that I was gonna back out, but I was like, let's do this. Like I made this commitment like three months ago. Yes. And I hounded you.

unknown 6:09

You did.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

I did. Because I'm a bad texter.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

I'm I'm a bad texter too, but you do have three kids. Yes, that's a lot. You are busy. You are so busy. Okay, so let's just get into it. Okay, let's do it. Can we tell some of the listeners of who you are, what you do, how many kids you have.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Tell us a little bit about Hannah Adams. So my name is Hannah. I have three kids. I'm just out here up to my eyeballs and kids. Okay, three kids is a lot of kids. Um, I'm a realtor here in Tulsa. Yes. My only hobby is I like to read. Other than that, my kids and my husband pretty much that's my whole life. Yeah. Did you ever think that your life was ever gonna be like that? I prayed and dreamed that my life would be like it is right now. So you're truly. Literally. So you're just in heaven, you're in your name. I sometimes find myself pausing and just being like, oh my gosh, like I cannot believe that this is my life.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Oh, that's beautiful. I'm about to cry already. Yeah. But it is. I mean, you think about it. I mean, we both come from small towns and here in Oklahoma, and we are now moms, we are wives, we are building our career. You have built such a platform on social media with your content creating and all of that. And you have been so honest and so vulnerable on social media. And I mean, you should get emotional. You should sit there and be proud of what you have created for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

I am. I am a really emotional person.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

Well, I'm an emotional person too, to an extent, I feel like, but I just think it is nice just to sit back and be like, okay, I did this. I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

Doing it even when it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Even when it's hard. So, how did you get started in your influencing content creating world?

SPEAKER_03 7:59

Okay, so I had a friend that this was back when, like in 2019, when you were doing like straight up fashion post. Yes, finding something to hold in your hand, taking a post picture of an outfit. And I had a friend that was doing it, and she was just like getting free stuff, and I was like, I want free stuff, like I could absolutely do that.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

And so she just kind of showed me the ropes, and um that is around the time. Actually, me and Pap were already friends, and we this we had no kids, okay. So we had all the time in the world. Right. We would get all of our outfits and spend a whole Sunday and go and drive around and do your content shoot. Yes. We would take five to seven pictures of each other. We would find, listen to this when we first started out. We would like find random people like that had nice houses and like take a picture in their front of their driveway, like in front of their garage door. We would take five to seven pictures for the whole week and just pump out content all on all on a Sunday. That is dedication. It was. I could absolutely never know. Absolutely never do that.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

But you still post so much content now, even with three kids. I feel like it's taken me, like I posted something yesterday and it took me like almost five hours just to edit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

But I'm late to the game though. I'm late to the game. If it took me a long time, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to do it. Like the editing. Yeah. I feel like I just put it in two times speed and I do just little edits. Yeah. And just throw it all together. Yeah. And like my on-feed stuff has kind of taken to the back burner. I'm more of a stories gal now.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:35

That's easier in motherhood.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

It is. It is easier, I feel like. So it just blew up. So you just kept on posting content with Pat, and then you guys just did your thing, and then next thing you know, you have this world.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

Yeah, so I think that really I grew more whenever I stopped doing. I feel like I grew more becoming a mother. Yeah. Because you're more relatable. Because my stuff was more relatable. Yep. And that is the niche that everyone's looking at right now. And I shared me crying and just the good, the bad, the ugly, just the all of it.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

You had a really, really rough postpartum with your first doctor. My second.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

With Miller, sorry. Yes. Okay. Well both. They were both had their different challenges. Um, Georgia, I had her like three days before the entire world shut down.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

A COVID.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

Yes. So I had her the 8th of March and the world shut down the 12th. Oh yeah. So like I was really isolated because we didn't know like what we know now. Everybody was scared. Like, I didn't want to be around people. So it had its challenges, but she was a great baby. Great. My second cried for like 22 hours a day for nine months. Wasn't she colicky though? I'm that's what they tell you when they don't know what is wrong. Yeah. It was horrific. It was absolutely the hardest time of my entire life. Like it was so rough. When I think about it still, I just have to pause.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Yeah. It was it was brutal. Didn't your husband work on the road too?

SPEAKER_03 11:13

So when I had Georgia, he started a new job. And when I had Miller, he had just started a new job. And so he said he still has that job. And it was just a really great opportunity for our family. And he was like, I'm I'm gonna do it. And I was like, okay, we're doing this. So when I had Miller, he had just started, and so he had to go and travel with like four different people in his like internship or like his training. Yeah. Yeah, that was rough too.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

It was rough. So when you look back on those times with Miller specifically, because it that was a hard time for you, what got you through it?

SPEAKER_03 11:52

I I barely survived, I feel.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

That's how I felt too.

SPEAKER_03 11:55

I barely, barely, by the skin of my teeth, survived. And oh my goodness, sometimes I'd just be rocking her and putting her to sleep and just so thankful the day was over, and I would still be have anxiety putting her down because I was like, She's gonna cry within 30 minutes, and I'm gonna have to come back up here. Exactly. It was awful. I mean, I had to lean on Kale a lot. The Lord, I mean, I don't think if I would not have been a Christian, I would have survived. I am so serious. It was a dark time, it was a really dark time, and like all my friends and stuff had new babies too at the time. So I didn't want to like burden them with my I literally hate my life. I hate what's going on in my life. My baby is the only one that is having these issues. Yeah. And everyone else is just happy going on.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Did you feel alone in that time? Because when I was going through like my postpartum, I felt like I couldn't connect with anybody because I couldn't look at them and be like, I'm drowning. Like I have no connection with my child. Like I feel like I'm in a third world country.

SPEAKER_03 13:00

I I seriously felt like I was on an island.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

I always in the middle of the ocean by myself, drowning. By myself. And everybody was at the everyone's on the uh uh what are they guys? What are they called? The shore, just waving at me. That's how I explained it to my therapist.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Yeah, yeah. Keep it up. Do you need anything? I'm like, yeah, I actually I don't even know what I need. That's how much I need. Yeah. And trying to maintain and be a good mom for my other baby that I had, who was still a baby. Yeah. How old was Georgia when you had Miller? She was a little over two. So she still really deeply needed me.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

And she And you went through the threes with Georgia when Miller was a baby.

unknown 13:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Girl, you cannot pay me. And now Miller is just like the best and just like the sweetest. When was their turning point for Miller?

SPEAKER_03 13:49

And your postpartum. Right at a year. I really feel like I hit my stride at about a year and she stopped crying. So it was wild.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

She literally just cried constantly. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Constantly. No matter what. It was wild. And then at a year, she developed like really bad eczema. So then we started a new whole whole another. But at least she wasn't crying. But I don't we can handle the scam. We just can't handle it. Like I couldn't handle the crying anymore.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

I so when Rowan cries, for me, like I have such a hard time like calming like my nervous system. No, I feel like I'm being attacked by a bear. I can't regulate. I can't regulate. And so if I can't regulate, she's not regulating. So that's why like now, like it's it's bit me in the butt now because I just say F it and just give her whatever she wants now because I just cannot manage the crying and the whining.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

I'm a holder. Yeah, I don't like the whining either. I'm a holder. Miller still, she is almost four, and she's my hold me girl. Oh, hold you all the way. Hold me. She'll help me. Will you hold me? Rowan is.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Will you help me, mommy? I need help, mommy. I can't put my shoes on. I can't put my panties on. I can't do this. I can't do it. It's so sweet.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

It's so sweet, but she's getting so big. I'm like, she's not gonna ask me to hold her for that much longer. I know. But now I have a new little baby too that needs you. Yeah, he needs me.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

How does it feel having a boy?

SPEAKER_03 15:09

It's been really sweet. I feel like when people ask me that, I don't know how to answer yet because he's still a baby. And I feel like I would be this obsessed with my third baby because I know they're my last baby. So I feel like I'll almost never be able to adequately be like, oh, how's it different having a boy versus a girl because he's my last? Really? So I'm just like soaking in everything because he's my last baby.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Are you sure about that? Yes, you are. I'm sure. No, I'm one and done. So I don't know if you uh knew that about me, but so yeah, I didn't. Oh, yes, I'm one and done.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

What what made you decide that? Um if you want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

Oh my gosh, of course, of course. Um, my mental health. I was how do I say it?

SPEAKER_03 15:58

No, I will get it because we all know.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

I always felt like I was dying.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

I never, I didn't connect with her for two and a half years. I cared, I mean, I loved her. I mean, she's my child, but like, there was no bond. There was no want to be with her. It was, I sounds terrible. And one day she's gonna listen to this, but it sounded like I was in jail. Like I was locked in this room by myself with this baby, no with no manual, had no idea what I was doing. My husband was gone. Mom and dad were at the ranch, and I was by myself, and I had no idea what I was doing. And I postpartum is a wild time. It's like the wild west. But it is the wild west, but then add mental health on top of it with like I have ADD, ADHD, I'm all sorts of jacked up. So finally, it was two and a half years. She was two and a half years old, and I had I finally broke. I was like, I need help. I finally broke and got the help I needed. Yeah, it really is. So I'm on all the medicines, I'm in therapy, I am back in church. We are doing so.

SPEAKER_03 17:03

So, were you not active in church when you had your daughter?

SPEAKER_02 17:05

No. You weren't? No.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

Okay, so that helped you get back.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Maybe that's why it happened.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Yes, yes. Well, I also was scared to take Rowan out to public places. I wouldn't take Rowan anywhere, even to my in-laws. I was petrified to do anything with this child. I took her to the mall for the first time over spring break by myself. What are you scared of? The control. I can't, I can't control the situation, or like I'm scared something's gonna happen. It's more so I it's just so much.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

So it's more you than it is her.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Right. Okay. Yeah. So now that I have overcome some fears, it's been like we went on our first family trip. I went to Branson for the first time with her, and she loved Branson. We love Branson, and it was it just showed me like I'm just so grateful for the Lord because it showed you you could do it. I can do it. And we're now we're finally making through progress, and she's getting older. I'm like, you want to go to Disney World? Let's go to Disney World.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

Might need extra medicine for that, but let's do it. So we after we had Miller, we were done. No more kids for me. Absolutely not. Both of us were on that because Kale not only went through it with me, but saw like how hard it was on me. And we were both like, we can and and it's hard on your marriage when you have when you are that high strung all the time, when your nervous system is that dysregulated, and you are just in fight or flight all day long. Yes. It is it is so hard on your marriage. That was the hardest year of our marriage because I mean, our not to be like mean, but like I felt like my life like sucked at the time, and I had a healthy baby in my arms.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

And that's something that people don't talk about. People don't talk about the the nightmare of what we go through mentally and how we change. I was a different person. I wasn't fun to be around. Me neither. I was miserable. And then I had to put just like this fake face on and act like I'm and butterflies and rainbows, and I'm posting all these pictures on social media trying to convince myself that I am loving motherhood and I was absolutely hating every second of it.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

Yeah, so around nine months, I really felt like I came up for a breath, a breath of air.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

Was it hard for you to do that because you had such a good experience with Georgia and then with Miller, it was a complete opposite.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

Yeah, and it's really hard not to compare your kids. Right. Like through through everything, too, but we were just like, something has to be wrong with her. Like, something has to be wrong for her to be this bad, really. Well, I mean And she's like a newborn baby, and we're like, what is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Um, I felt like that with Rowan too when she was a baby. I mean, I got her tested for autism. I'm like, what is going on with this child? She was feeding off of my energy. The second Hannah, I swear on my life, the second that I got the help I needed and I was doing better, she was a completely different child.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

A project of their environment.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Yep. And I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

She was in fight or flight mode too. She was in fight or flight mode too. And our kids, they do, they watch everything, everything we do, they listen to everything we say. Yes. How we react, how we talk about other people.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Yes. Yes. Don't even get me started on that topic. We had to have a conversation with Rowan about uh we can't make comments.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

We don't yes, we don't talk about uh people's physical appearances in our house.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Yes, we do not. Yeah, that was the first.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

If you have questions, you can ask me when we get in the car or at home, but we do not comment on people's physical appearances.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

And she's three and a half years old, and I'm just like, my husband called me like when it happened, and I was like, oh my gosh. Okay, we have to have the conversation with her because she doesn't know. No, kids don't know what they don't know. And she was like, why, mommy? She's in the phase of like, why, why, why? Motherhood. Motherhood. It's like that Jenny and Georgia, motherhood. Motherhood. Did you watch that show? I haven't seen the last season. I haven't either. I haven't either. I haven't. But you know what part I'm talking about when she's like doing the time, like doing the poem. Cracks me up every time. Love it. So, in the midst of all of like your we both had difficult postpartums and all of the things, how did that affect your friendships?

SPEAKER_03 21:31

Um, so I am really fortunate and my best friend. We now people joke and are like, you guys plan that, la la la la. But all of our kids, we have me and my friend Pap. We have their our old, our longest age gap is four months. And so we have So you guys are pregnant together.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

And for the listeners, if you don't know who she's talking about, she's talking about her best friend Paisley.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Yes, her name is Paisley.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

And she's also an influencer and a nurse and a And she does all the things.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

All the things. And so our two oldest are four months apart. They were supposed to be seven weeks apart. So like I had to have gotten pregnant like the day she told me that she was pregnant, basically.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

That is so good.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

And they ended up being four months apart because um Aiden came early. Right. And then the middle two are four months apart. And then the boys are like six, they're six days apart. Is that not wild? That is wild. Yeah, so I don't know. She was also drowning too. And my brother. But y'all were just but y'all were able to drown together at that one. And you know, I feel like I was in such a low place that I just kind of pushed people away at that time because like I didn't, I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to, I did not want to do anything. I like was existing. I was existing during the time. One time my sister showed up at my house because like my family was genuinely concerned about me. Oh yeah. I would be too. She was like, you probably should like Miller's like screaming and crying, and she just like showed up at my house and was like, why don't you go to Walmart and like just like go walk the halls? And I was like, okay, I will. And I like opened the door to her. I saw her there and I was just like, was it hard for you to ask for help? Oh yeah, I don't ask for help. I don't do that.

unknown 23:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

Mm-mm. I still can't. I find it extremely difficult to ask for help. Why? But I love to help other people, and I will be the first one without you asking to show up to help you. Right. Yeah, but I can't do that myself. I don't know. I don't know. Have you always been that way? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

It was hard for me to ask for help. And I think, especially in motherhood, that it's hard to be like, okay, hey, we need help because I mean, this generation, we're just now talking about all of the heavy topics. Yeah. Because like our parents, like our moms, they did it themselves. They figured it out. So they kind of just, I mean, it's it's different.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

It's Yeah, and I didn't want to burden anybody. Like I like can barely be around this child that's screaming and crying all the time. Like, I don't want to burden somebody else with it. So I just kind of But just that hour break from it.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

I just did it. Yeah. I survived.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

You did survive, and she's here, and now she's wonderful, and it was just a blimp in time, and it went by so so fast now that I'm out of it.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

It was just now they're gonna be four.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

She's gonna be four.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Is that crazy? You're gonna have a four-year-old. I feel like we just had them yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

Six and a four-year-old. I cannot even I cannot even imagine. I Georgia's age is on two different hands now. I can barely talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Oh my gosh. I remember when you got pregnant with Georgia. I know. And now she's six.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

That's wild, Hannah. It's heartbreaking. My life has gone by since I had kids. My life has flown by. Oh. Absolutely flown by. Bennett just turned 10 months old, and I literally just I just had him last week. He's 10 months old. He's 10 months old. I just had him last week.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

I don't. That's crazy. It's unbelievable. That's crazy. Okay. So I kind of do want to dive in into the friendships world. Did you ever feel like for me? So like I within my friendships, I feel like since I'm like in my mid-30s now, and I'm like trying to build beautiful chaos. And also I'm a mom. And I think when it comes to friendships, the grace isn't there like it has to be.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

It has to be.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

And that it has to be. Like I'm not socially available for you like I was five years ago.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

Which is, I mean, and you can have friends that are certainly in different seasons than you. But I do feel like in my season of life, it is important for me to have friends that are in the same season as me. Like absolutely. My husband, like my husband needs me, my kids need me, my home needs me. Yeah. I have to work too. I don't just get to stay home. Right. And so just being able to meet those friendships, like where you are in life, is so important. Like it's I love to have a friend that I can be like, hey, I have like 10 minutes. What are you doing? Right. Can I come over really quick? Yeah. Can I invite myself over, please?

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Can I just like walk in the door? Yes. So yeah, I mean, I think so. Right now, did you so this is how I view friendships right now, and this is what I'm experiencing is that like we're like in our building our life season. Right. Correct. You know what I mean? So nobody really has talked about that and how awkward it can be. Okay. And for me, like shifting into the woman and the mom and the person I am today is that some friends will fall back. They they're not moving at the same speed.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

And sometimes that naturally happens. And it's kind of nice for it to happen that way. Like those people will be like, oh hey, how are you? How are things? But not on like the intimate level of hey, I just had the worst day of my life. Like, can you talk?

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Yeah. So that's that's been difficult for me, I feel like, in this friendship season is that it's funny because I'm one of the last ones that had kids in my group of friends. Okay. So I was the wild animal party person, and they were all, I mean, they were always busy, and I'm like, oh well.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Like, you don't understand anything until you have your own child. You do not.

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Girl, don't even get me started on that topic because it's so true.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

Because I was one of those people that was like, I would never let my kid do that. And like yesterday, Miller wore one croc and one tennis should to Sam's. Okay. Amen. I'm not fighting that. Nope. Pick your bow. She was so happy that she picked her clothes. She was so happy with it. I confirmed before we left that that's what she wanted to wear. We wore those to Sam's.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

1000 with confidence. And I think when it comes to your friendships, people don't understand that. You do not know what it's like to be a mom until you are a mom. Yeah. Until you are in that season of life. And another thing is the season of life of your child's ages. So, like my person, my best friend who is my Paisley, her kids are a lot older than mine. So they're Kate is gonna be 11 and Sadie's gonna be eight, I think. So, like, yeah. So, and Rowan's three and a half. So it's like we're in two different seasons of motherhood. So she's over here, like trying to like remember how it was for her. And it's it's just funny because I think when you are in those different phases of those friendships, that sometimes it can be difficult to keep those friendships alive.

SPEAKER_03 28:40

It is, and it is hard to have groups of friends too, I will say, at my age. I'm over it. I'm over group friends. I'm over it. I'm so over it.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

I I'm not 20 anymore. I can't do it.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

I think that you should have like one or two really good friends. And my sister is one of those people for me. I'm really fortunate to have my sister be one of my closest friends. And but group friendship has always been hard for me. The devil really attacks me in that way. I feel I really struggle all the with feeling left out. Yeah. With nobody likes me. Yep. Nobody wants to be my friend. Yep. So he really attacks me in that way. Yeah. And so I'm like a I'm a really big feeler. So, but then if you like mention that, you feel like you're just like crazy pants, you know.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

And then they look at you like you're you're in that so that you feel left out. Yeah. And why did I not get invited? And like all of these things. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:29

Seems so high school. So like I would just rather not be even put myself in that situation at 30 because the one or two friendships that you have, like, I think that those are what you should cling to, and those are what because and like to be honest, in the season of life that like you and I are in, we you you do not have the emotional capacity to pour into that many people. No, no, I don't. Not anymore. No, and so it's really nice because like obviously me and Paisley have kids that are all the same age, so it's super easy. We see them at church every Sunday, like we sit together at church.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Y'all are wild. No, we go, baby, we go to the 8:30. What? Yes. Girl, good for you.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

I like to get in there and have it and just have my rest of my whole day.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

You should you I'm telling you, you should come on Saturdays. Come on Saturdays. It will be a game changer.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

If it was just like my core Southern Baptist raising, but I'm I'm a Southern Baptist too! I have to go on Sunday days. No, you don't.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

No, you don't. Come on Saturdays with me. I sit in the very front row, right in the middle.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

That's wild.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

I'm a mid to back row. No, I am front row center, Pastor Eric. He gives me a hard time all the time.

SPEAKER_03 30:35

But see, but they're also, it's nice about their friendship because I was actually, they came over Saturday, and when she left, we were texting each other. We're like, every time we leave each other, we're like, bye, talk to you in five minutes. Oh, I love that. Because like it's just like one of those things that you're like constantly this like talking all the time and it never ends. And so we were talking, we were like, wow, like this is so amazing. Like it just feels so like effortless and just like a really big family, and just like, hey, what are you doing? And I like you guys just want to come over and we'll figure out dinner. Right. Or like, hey, can I come over to your house? Like, can I invite myself over to your house? It's not weird. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

And those are the type of friends that you want to hold close, but talking about the group friends thing topic again, I think it is harder to have those type of friends in your mid-30s.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

It's so hard. It's fun to like go to dinner and stuff and like have those people that you can like go to dinner with, like, maybe like once every other three months and stuff. But it is, it's hard to hold on to group friendships. It really is. And I want to.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

I don't have the mental capacity or the bandwidth, really. I really know.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

I want to. I love it when I see like people like on Instagram and stuff, and they're like, have all of these friends. And I'm like, how do you have all of those friends? Like, yeah, how do that many people like genuinely like love you and care about you and all of that? I'm like, why can't that be me?

SPEAKER_02 31:51

And I have a big army. I do have a big, big army. I do. And I love my lifers, I call them my lifers, and I mean, some of those friendships, we've been friends for 25 years, some of the friendships have been friends for a year. Like, um, but again, we're all in different seasons of our life. So when I started getting better and all of the things, I noticed that my friendships were changing. And I and I was always the one that was always available for everybody. And now that I'm not available, it's really it's really it's really pissed off some people. Aw. Yeah. That's sad. It is sad. It is very sad. They weren't adaptable. They weren't adaptable, adaptable, and it's hard because it's like I was I was always available, but now since I'm not available, and I could barely even write a text message back to you right now because I'm so busy and it's why don't you love me? Okay, I don't have I don't have time for that right now either.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

I have a really good group of friends that are there for me when I need them. Same. Take care of me postpartum. Yeah. Make me feel loved on my birthday. Yes. And I do love to have that group.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

But yeah, it's hard. And no one talks about friendships and motherhood ever. It's kind of like I saw recently, like, I don't know if you like seen it on TikTok or whatever, but people are saying, oh, if you really love that person, you would make time for that person. I cannot even make time for myself right now. Yes. How how do you expect me to make time for someone that I do miss? Do you think I don't want to see my friends? Do you think I don't want to go to dinner? Do you think I don't want to go do or go on a girl's trip? I mean, just to try to book something these days, it's like, I'll see you in six months. Yeah. Just wait till the kids get older. Yeah, we have sports.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

We do. And you got three. Uh-huh. Oh, I can't even imagine it. I cannot even fathom. I cannot. Do you but have you also seen that if you want a village, you have to be a villager?

SPEAKER_02 34:05

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SPEAKER_03 36:26

Amen. And that was one of my 2026 goals was to be a better villager. And I feel like. Go in more depth of what a villager is. I feel like I've done a good job so far. To like, you know, if you see somebody's one of your friends struggling to just to just reach out, like take a meal. It's not hard. I'm a I'm a natural helper. I like to help. I like to just do. So like this, just just to show up. Just to show up. Like, even if it's for five minutes, if all I can give is five minutes to give it. Absolutely. I'm a I thought of you friend, or this made me think of you friend. Yes. And I love that. And I want people to do that to me. Yes. I do. Yes. Like I saw this and I thought of you, so I got it for you. Yes. I love to do that. I love it so much. Um, just like the taking of the meals. The showing up when they need you. Like, you can tell, like, when one of your friends need you, I feel.

SPEAKER_02 37:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

You can. Yeah. And like last night, one I this lady that I literally don't even know, okay? This mom in Georgia's class had a baby over spring break. She had a C-section. It was also her third baby. So and her oldest is Georgia's age. So she was like the same season of Plypostomy. So I off the class list, I texted her over the weekend and I was like, hey, I'm going to bring you dinner Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Which one works better for you? And she was like, Wow, that is so nice. I was like, I know what it's like to have three kids. Yeah. Elf will be there for your meal. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like those things that you wish that you had, like of the village that you wish you had. You have to be a villager for other people if you want a village. 1000%.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

And I think right now I'm just like, I was telling this to my husband last night. I just feel like I'm having such a difficult time, like balancing everything. Oh, the balance. Like I I used to be the first person to text you back. If you now you could barely get a hold of me now. It's hard. And it's wild.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

And like you're expected to say, you're a mom, you're a wife. You have to like, you have to be a housekeeper. Yep. My gosh, you should probably work out. You should probably eat good. You have to buy the groceries. You have to plan everything. I have to look at the lunches. I have to pack the windows. So let's go on and on. Have to bathe the kids. Like all of the things have to make sure they're like clean, have clean clothes. I have to do so much. There's so much balance that has to happen in my own life. Just me. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

And then at the end of the day, I don't want to sit on my phone. I just want to sit back and read my book and just decompress, and I'll get back with you tomorrow. But I feel like, I feel like maybe I should just probably start like being more vocal about what's going on, maybe. Because I mean, I have my village and I'm thankful for my village. But I think sometimes it's like I just don't have the mental capacity to even text. Like I'm telling Steno, like sometimes when you text me in the morning, I don't even want to text you back. Like, I love you. Like, I will see you when you get home from work.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

I sometimes don't like it.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

You like it?

SPEAKER_03 39:24

I like it. So you know that I'm here.

SPEAKER_02 39:27

My friend said I need to put my reads on so they can see what I love a good red receipt.

SPEAKER_03 39:33

I love it. I want to know that you read my message.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

Really?

SPEAKER_03 39:37

Yes. Uh yes, I love to be able to see when people read my messages.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Oh my gosh, people would hate me.

SPEAKER_03 39:42

See, and I just don't. Especially Kale because I know like he's working on the time, so like I want to know if you saw my message or not. Yeah. Is that crazy?

SPEAKER_02 39:51

Is that creepy? No, no, that's not crazy. That is awesome. So have you ever taken a step back from a friendship during this season to protect your peace?

SPEAKER_03 40:02

Do you know what I think is so important in friendships and especially Christian friendships? Tell me, sis. Is to be able, we are, I am 32 years old, okay? Is to be able to take constructive criticism. Yes. Especially in Christian friendships, your friends should want you to be the best version of yourself. If your friends see you doing behavior or doing things or acting in a certain way, your friends, the people that love you and that you love, should be able to call you out on your behavior and for you to maintain the friendship. 1000%.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Don't even get me started on this.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Don't even get me started on this.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

You should grow with that.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

Yeah, no, yeah. And people should, I did a Tasha take recently on people are just so easy of letting friendships go these days. It is wild. Like the boundaries, or you took it so seriously. Like words have meaning. Okay, yeah, words have meaning, but I didn't mean it in that way. Or like like what you just said, like if there is like a something I should be working on, tell me. Yeah. Don't let me walk around look like an idiot or be a fool.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

At 32, there are very few things that you should not be able to work through and maintain friendships. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

And the fact that people are so easy just to write people off these days, it's absolutely mind-blowing.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

And it's sad. Like if Paisley tried to stop being my friend, I would literally show up on her front porch and be like, we're talking this out.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

Oh yeah. If Aaron ever did that, I would, or my or Missy, like I would literally be like, I'm not gonna be able to do that. You don't have the option. Yeah, there's no option not to be friends with me. You signed this contract 20 years ago.

unknown 41:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

Yeah. Yeah. And I think recently in my friendships in my 30s, it's just people just write people off so quickly. And I'm like, I don't, I don't have the capacity to chase you or have the bandwidth to even express the frustration of if we do have a difference on opinion, or if I hurt your feelings and I don't agree with it, I'm still gonna be apologetic. Like, I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't agree with it, but I'm sorry. Does that make sense? I've always been that type of person that like we don't have to agree on everything and we don't have to see everyone's perspective, but you can love and have respect for that person. Yeah, and there's a kind way to do everything. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 42:33

There is a kind way to deliver every message, I think.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

Yes. Friendship breakups are wild, but the ones that are even more wild to me are the ones that it just naturally just do you know?

SPEAKER_03 42:47

Sometimes I think about that because like I think about um. I used to talk to you every single day. I used to like have friends that were like my best friends ever, and then I just like searching my brain like the files and like what happened? Like you talk every single day and then it just like slowly dissipates. Yeah, that is wild.

SPEAKER_02 43:09

That's the that's more wild to me than anything.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

It really is. Like the three girls that were in my wedding, I don't really speak to at all. But nothing happened, yeah. Not one thing happened, it just like slowly dissipated. And I when I think about it, I'm like, that is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

So I've been married twice. So uh my first wedding, I don't talk to any of my bridesmaids besides my sister and Vanessa, the other ones I don't speak to, and one, God bless her soul, she passed away. And with Daniel, I still talk to all of mine. That's nice, but one of them, the friendship has drifted away, and I never in a million years, I never thought that friendship would ever I know. It's like we spent so many years together, made so many memories together.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

One of the girls I know, like if I sat down with her, we would just pick back up. Oh yeah, that's how me and this person are. But isn't that weird though? It just like kinda just drifts. And nobody talks about how awkward that is. It is. Because like you see them stuff on social media, and then like you think. I think social media plays a big part in that. Yeah in your drifting friendships. Because you feel like you know what's going on. So there's no need to reach out because you see what's going on. Oh my gosh, you're so right. Yeah. If you deleted all your social media right now, you would have to pick up the phone and call your friends and ask what's going on in their life, what they're doing, how they are, how your kids. We don't have to do that because we just see. Right. There's no we don't have to do anything.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

The downfall. The downfall of it. And it's, I mean, it's like the effort. You don't have to put any more effort into things anymore.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

And everything is so.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Social media is killing friendships. I think social media is killing a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 44:54

It is. Marriages, friendships, how you view yourself in motherhood. How you view yourself just in a person? In a person. Yeah. All of it. Scary. So with You know, that's a big thing on my social media. I don't want people to come to my page and feel I don't want them to feel any kind of way about themselves or their lives when they leave my page. I want them to believe better than they came. I want them to smile when they leave my page. Right. Or feel good. Or feel like they can relate to it.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Yeah. You know? Because we need that. We don't need the pictures perfect. We don't need to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 45:34

I don't want to see a stark white clean house. Yeah. I don't.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

I don't understand people who sleep with white sheets. I just don't.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

I have white sheets.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

I don't understand it. I do not understand it.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

They're not they're not white anymore. And everyone's like, because you can bleach it. I'm like. You can't. No, you can't. I'm like, okay. There's only so much you can bleach. Yeah. I'm a sweaty gal. I'm kind of gross. Like white sheets. White sheets are gonna say white for anybody.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

So why did you pick the white sheets then?

SPEAKER_03 46:04

I just they're so crispy and clean looking when they're crispy. But they're brown now. So they're clean cream now, but I'm dead. When they're new and clean guy, you can't be the crispy white sheet.

SPEAKER_02 46:16

Uh not mattress, but comforter. No. But I did for a while. See, I don't get that. Y'all people are.

SPEAKER_03 46:25

Now I have a I have like a multicolored quilt, which is like way more my vibe. Yes. But you know, in my in my marriage, like I am the dirty one. Kale is the clean one. Really? I would have never guessed that. Oh. Kale is very type A. I am very type C. You are type C. I am type C.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

I'm type everything, I think. It just depends on what's going on.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

Kale maintains most of the laundry in our home. Excuse me? And he works. He does your laundry? He is the main provider of our home and he does most of the laundry. Well, I don't do my husband's laundry. Amen. He does mine. He does his own and he does mine. That is a man. He is a he's a good man, Savannah.

SPEAKER_02 47:07

That is a good man.

SPEAKER_03 47:08

He is he is a good man.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

So when it came to your marriage and motherhood and parenthood, have you guys been able to hang on to your guys' connection?

SPEAKER_03 47:20

Yes, I feel like we've maintained it really well. I do, I like I said, the the year that Miller was born, I do think was our hardest. Yeah. But we made it through. We made it through. And he makes me laugh. Yeah. We laugh so much together, and we always have. And I just feel like, God, he's just the best. He really is. I love that. He really is. Like, I don't think. And how many years have y'all been married? This year will be nine. Nine years. Are y'all gonna do anything for your 10? Yes. Okay, so we're we've been thinking about it recently and just like trying to decide because we were like, should we just go to Hawaii? No. No, go to Hawaii now because it's flooded. And then I don't know, there's just so many things we want to do. But this year, like we've worn out our our babysitting already, and it's only like what March. Oh my god. Because we're going to Palm Springs this weekend too and leaving the kids. God bless. But we do, we've we've made time for each other, we've made time for our relationship. And I just really couldn't have picked like a better person for me.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

I think that's where uh so me and Danielle were about to be married for five years, and we're in the five-year vet, I think, a little bit, and we were talking about it last night.

SPEAKER_03 48:30

But see, you're talking about it though.

SPEAKER_02 48:32

People don't talk about it. People literally look at my marriage and like, how do you guys have such an honest conversation? It's like you have to. I was like, I have to. Like it will not work for me if I don't have a full blunt conversation. I looked at him last night and I said, I said, I don't know who Daniel and Tasha are in the in this moment, in this season of life, because we are literally surviving. Roommates, roommates, no intimacy at the moment, not much. And I mean, it's just, it's just, we're life in. And we're just we're growing. And I just I just so down and I was like, let's just make sure that we're growing together. And he was like, I love you. He's like, I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

And men need that, yes. They really do. And like I will say, like, I do feel like I have a really awesome, great marriage, but we we do, we have to have conversations, and it's not all butterflies and fun over here because we do be yelling sometimes, okay? Yeah, and I have to remind Kale at least quarterly of how I like what makes me feel loved. Yes, because me and Kale have different love languages.

SPEAKER_01 49:38

Me and Daniel do too.

SPEAKER_03 49:40

And he tries to love me in his love language, and I'm just like, I don't, yeah, I don't compute like what I'm doing. So, what's y'all's love language? So we'll just go with the top one, okay? Okay. His are acts of service, and mine is physical touch, which I know usually it's probably opposite. Yes. I think I have childhood trauma. Maybe I think I have trauma. Okay, so he would much rather like come home, the house be sparkling clean. That would make him feel so loved, okay? You're like, I just can't do that, bro. Have three kids, bro. I would rather him come home, throw his stuff down, and just like sweep me up in a kiss. Yes. That's what I want. Okay. I read a lot of romance. I want to be romanticized. I want him to, I want him to always be like, if he's not touching me all the time, I don't feel like he loves me. That's a me issue. But like, I want him to hold my hand. I want him to put his hand on my leg in church. Yes. If we're praying and my hand is on the chair in front of me, I want your hand to be on top of mine.

SPEAKER_02 50:40

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 50:40

Like, I want you to be touching me at all times. And it's hard because I'll try to love him in that way too. Yeah. And he's just like, and I he's like, yeah, he's like, oh, I love your loving, but I'm an act of service. And it's hard. So you have to know, like, my main thing about marriage. Like, what you should know is you should know your spouse's love language. Yeah. And it is hard though to love somebody in a love language that's not your love language. No, it is.

SPEAKER_02 51:06

So mine's the opposite. So Daniel is a physical touch, and I am acts of service.

SPEAKER_03 51:12

Like, I feel like that's more common.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

I'm just like, uh, don't touch me today. I love you. Please go take out the trash. Or please mop the floor. Like last night we didn't have Rowan, and uh, my mom kept her. And uh, I was like, Will you please go put all the laundry away? And he was like, So please just put the laundry away. That would be so sexy. And I was like, dang, you're sexy right now. And he was like, What? Putting laundry away. I'm like, yes. I'm like, that's what gets me going. Like, you want me to want you, then you have to have that fill my tank. Fill my Yes, please.

SPEAKER_03 51:48

Fill my love tank.

SPEAKER_02 51:50

And for some reason, I think that men, I think they feel that like we want like the butterflies and the rainbows, we want the roses, we want the expensive car. I don't care if we have no money in the bank account. I just want you to be like, I made you a peanut butter jelly sandwich. Let's go sit outside. Yes, I sat outside, let's go sit outside, eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and let's talk. That's what I want. The connection. The time. Yes. And he's just wants all the leaven.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

All the leaven.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

And I'm like, baby, we got a baby sleeping in our bed right now. That's tough. That's tough. And that is tough. And that is so tough. And so do you ever feel with Kale that like once you're able to like talk about all your feelings, everything like you feel much better?

SPEAKER_03 52:33

Like it's like a weight lifted off your shoulders. Sometimes, but then sometimes, like, if you have those conversations and then the next day nothing has changed, that's hard. Yeah. That'll send me into a fit of rage. And then when I am angry, I get quiet. I'm not like a big talker about like if I talk about my feelings, it's like you should listen. Like, it's a big deal if I talk about my feelings because I don't like to talk about my feelings. So if I'm telling you something and I'm telling you how I feel about something, it's a big deal to me because I don't like to. I don't want to do that. I don't want to talk about my feelings. So if I'm mad or something, I will just get quiet. I won't reply to text messages.

SPEAKER_02 53:07

You do that in friendships too? Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_03 53:10

I don't know what I Yeah. If you bother me, like if I if like I am bothered or like something has like upset me, instantly I will distance myself. And I know that's bad. It's so bad.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

You remind me of my best friend and idiot.

SPEAKER_03 53:25

She's just like, nope, gotta go. Can't do this anymore. And I'm like, girl. I will eventually like come out of it, but like I cannot. I am a distancer. To the point where like no. Yeah. Like you know that I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

Yeah. You know that you've hurt my feelings. Yeah. I'm not watching your stories either. See? I do everything. Is that so childish?

SPEAKER_03 53:51

I have not ever done that. Or I followed it. But I get why. I get why you would do that, like to not see them. Yeah. Because you know, like once some what once something irritating is. The pettiness still lives in our 30s.

SPEAKER_02 54:03

From my space. You're my top friend. The pin, the pinning on your phone, do you like pin your messages? I only have Kale pinned. I only have Daniel pinned. And I usually had everyone pinned. And one of my one of my dear friends saw it, like, I'm not pinned. And I did the same thing to one of my best friends too. And I'm like, I'm not pinned. And then we're all like, what is this? MySpace? Is this Tom Top Friends? Could you imagine if we had MySpace these days? No, it'd be cutthroat. We would be cutthroat. It would be changing every day. It would be scary. And probably every hour.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

Yes. But see, but when when somebody makes you mad or like hurts your feelings, you know, and you like you get irritated with somebody. Right. And then everything they do just like upsets you.

SPEAKER_02 54:47

Yeah, so I think that's what happened with me and my friend that got into the Fallout Out. Because I genuinely believe that there is love there and there is respect there. I think we're just like oil and water. And we're just, she doesn't understand me, and I don't understand her sometimes. So I just think we just exploded and everything just came out. And maybe one day we'll have a conversation. There's no hate. Yeah. There's only love. And I think that's the mature way to handle it. Yeah. We're in our 30s. We shouldn't, it should not be this a difficult to maintain a friendship. Correct. And we should be able to say, you know what? I'm not vibing with this anymore. And that's okay. And did not hurt my feelings. And it was funny because my girlfriends were like, you're trying to act all badass. You're trying to act like you don't care. I'm crying in my car. And I'm falling my eyes out. And I'm like, I'm trying not to care. But I mean, it's a different care. Because 10 years ago, I would be a wreck. Oh my God. The world would have been ending. I would, I mean, yeah. Now I'm just like, okay. And that's called maturity.

SPEAKER_03 55:53

And that's on maturity.

SPEAKER_02 55:55

Yes. Yes. Yes. What's harder? Maintaining friendships are maintaining your marriage while you have kids. Friendships.

SPEAKER_03 56:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

Friendships.

SPEAKER_03 56:06

Friendships. For sure. Yes. I mean, I'm with my spouse so much, and I just like I feel like in the back of your mind, like, you know, you have to like put your spouse first. Yeah. Like, I know that. Like, it's so important. Like, that's the father of my children. Like, they need to see us having a good relationship. 1,000.

SPEAKER_02 56:25

1000%.

SPEAKER_03 56:26

So I put the extra effort in.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

Yeah, definitely marriage. So have you ever outgrown a friendship and ever felt guilty about it? Do you know?

SPEAKER_03 56:37

No. I don't feel guilty about it. I don't either. Not more. Not anymore. I feel like in our 20s I would have. I feel like in my 20s I would have. I just feel like the Lord has given me like really good discernment in my 30s. And I just feel like I really leaned, I really leaned into him in my 30s. And I do feel like I went through a period too where I uh took a social media break. And I because I felt called to do so. And I was like, I just really want to hear from you. Like I want to hear like what you have to say, like what you want for my life. And I feel like in that 30 days, I the Lord blessed me so much and like gave me so much clarity about so many things. Like He blessed my business, my marriage was awesome. And just like I could see things in a different view, and just it's crazy, you know, like what the Lord can do for you in your life, but also in your friendships. Like a thousand. Yes, the just the guiding that he can do if you let him is huge.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

And another thing is is like our parents always say, surround yourself with people that are on the same journey as you. And I think when you are a Christian and you are on that walk of life and that path and following the Lord, and it's important to you, sometimes friendships just don't intertwine, they don't align.

SPEAKER_03 58:04

Yeah. It would be hard, it would be hard to be like to maintain a friendship with somebody right now that wasn't in a similar season of life as me, but also like that didn't have similar beliefs as me, too.

SPEAKER_02 58:16

Right, because I battled with that when I was younger, like in high school, and like I mean, I would go to I mean, we all went. Previous lives. Yeah, previous lives. We all went on Wednesdays to guts or 180 and like all of the things.

SPEAKER_03 58:28

I went to church on Wednesdays for the boys.

SPEAKER_02 58:30

Yes, for the boys, yeah. 1000. 1,000 percent. 1000%. And now it's like, okay, now I understand what they were saying back then. Because like, you know, they were like preaching to us. Like, make sure you surround yourself. Birds of a feather flop together. Amen. And so that's that's where I'm at currently, is that because they do they were right. They were so right. And um, what was I gonna say?

SPEAKER_03 58:59

Because you know what? And and if you want to test that theory, let me just tell you this. If I'm humming a song, if I'm singing a song, you wait. About three minutes later, my husband, he's gonna be singing the same song. He's gonna be the kids, they're gonna be singing the same song. Birds of a feather, they flock together. Like your actions are gonna rub off on whoever you're around. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 59:21

They will. Yes, yes. And I'm not drinking, I've been sober for almost a year now.

SPEAKER_03 59:28

Do you know I really rarely, rarely drink alcohol?

SPEAKER_02 59:32

And that's for a whole nother other reasons. Right. But at the same time, it's going back to surrounding yourself, people that you're in the same. Because my friends, so my closest friends, they st they still drink and they they're still in that party. I cannot fathom. I cannot, not anymore. I used to be, I used, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 59:51

I can have a silter and my heart rate's 175.

SPEAKER_02 59:53

Yeah, I can have a one micelobultra and I'm hungover for the next three days.

SPEAKER_03 59:57

That's not for me anymore.

SPEAKER_02 59:58

And I like having control over my body.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:00

I don't like when other people drink around me either. I get anxiety. You know, I don't think it bothers me. It doesn't, okay, it doesn't bother me. Like, I you guys can do what you want, but when people start getting okay, it's drunk. When people get drunk around me, yes, oh yes, so anxious. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:16

I I cannot, I cannot deal with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:18

I'm just like it's like the WWE. I just like don't want to be around it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:22

Yeah. Same. Same. I'm just like, I'm just not in that phase of life. And I'm like, I'm not judging you, do you, but I don't want to be around it. So it's difficult for me when people are drinking around me. So but with all of that, we don't feel guilty about anything. So, one more thing before we wrap up, Hannah. Book talk.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:45

Book talk, my one and only hobby. I have to ask you, what are you reading right now? Okay, so I just finished The Serpent and the Wings of Night. And so I couldn't even tell you. No, I never even heard of it either. I saw it on TikTok. Okay. Okay. Is it fantasy? It is. Of course it is. It's romance to see. Romanticity. What's the smut level? Uh are we doing like one through five? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:12

The chili peppers.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:14

3.75.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:17

It was really good.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:18

Do you ever feel awkward reading smut? No.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:23

No? Awkward? Sometimes I will like giggle out.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:28

One time I read like a sentence and Daniel's like, what are you reading?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:32

Worse is if Kale gets in my car and the audio connects to my and it's on like the most vulgar part. I'm like, oh, turn that off. Turn it off. Turn it off. Oh my gosh, it's so funny. Because it makes me like giggly sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

I'm like, so do you have like a Goodreads?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:47

Yes. Why are we not friends on Goodreads? We have to be. Yeah, so I started that book. I had no idea, nothing about it. Obviously, I'm waiting for like the new Sara J. Mask books to come out. Okay, I have not read any of them. I have not read Avatar. Joshua!

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

I know I need to read Aquatar. So my brother-in-law.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:04

You have like 16 books to get caught up on.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:07

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I was.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:11

I have to leave.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

That's insane. It's just such a big commitment. It is. And I followed you when you were reading them, and there was a what a time to go back.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:23

And you were like obsessed. I almost got a tattoo. I still would, actually, right now. For real. Really? Dead serious. Was it better than Fourth Wing? Oh, I loved Fourth Wing too so much. I love it too. I loved it so much. But see, if you love that, you'll love Avatar and Throne of Glass. God, it was so good. It was so well written. What was it? She started writing this when she was in high school. High school. I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:48

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:49

So they don't have like any smut.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:51

Well, I mean, that's fine. I'm not the one that like wants like the smut, smut, smut. The smuttiest book I've ever read was Lights Out.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:00

But I read that.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:01

But that really wasn't smuddy either.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:04

You ever read Lights Out? No. You've got to be a little bit more. But I seriously love Fourth Wing. Like I think about it all the time. Same. I haven't read it. You know, that's the only series that I've ever reread.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:13

My sister too.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

My sister rereads it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:16

So I haven't read Onyx Storm yet because I'm waiting for what are you waiting for?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:21

For the next book to come out. That's psychotic. Just read it. It is incredible. Because I feel like those you have to reread because there's so many Easter eggs and so much like foreshadowing. And like especially Onyx Storm, like because Onyx Storm is really confusing to read. Because it's That's what I heard. Because it jumps around a lot. But like if you read it and then you go back and you reread it. You catch things. You pick up more of the Easter eggs.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:43

That's what people say.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:44

Because it's all written in Violet's point of view. And that's so important. Yes. To like have in your mind when you read it the second time. Even the first time, but you really like get it. Uh, especially like the last line of the book. Uh and in which one? Honest storm.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:04

Oh man, now you're making me want to go read it.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:06

I mean, they were so good. They were so freaking good. Are you a nighttime reader or an audiobook girl? I'm all of it. I'm all of it too. Do you know the my toxic trait is I like to have every version of it. I like to have it to where I can read it and listen to it at the same time. Because if I get reading a good book, I just can't stop. Like, that's the one time I will neglect my family. I'm not gonna lie to you. Is like if I'm mid-read, I cannot stop. Like I will be listening to it when I can't, and I will be looking at it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:31

Is it in your monthly budget to have all of that? Because I it depends who you ask. Because I do the same. I have the the actual book, I have it on my Kindle, and then I have it on Audible. Having all of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:44

Do you use Libby though?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:46

No, because I don't want to wait 20 million days.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:49

Girl, I'm so crazy. Listen to this. I got a Denver library card, okay? Denver. And Denver be having all the Libby's. Denver, how did you do that? I can't disclose that on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:04

But yeah, like in my book club, everyone's like, um, uh, everyone's like, yeah, I can't get the book because there's like 20 million people in front of me.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:11

I'm like, yeah, then go buy the book. Tulsa has such a long way all the time. Yes, I do Kindle Unlimited, and then like I have a bookshelf recently. I got on Facebook Marketplace. But I only buy it. Oh, yes, I sell that I only buy like my trophy books that I like absolutely loved and was obsessed with. Really? Yes. Okay. Because I'm a Kindle reader.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:29

See, it's funny because I like listening to books while I'm cleaning or like doing something. But some of the books that I do dive in, I can't just listen. I have to like listen to it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:40

I feel more accomplished if I reread, like if I read them.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:44

Okay. Do you consider listening to a book? Still reading? Yes. Because that's a hot topic right now. People it is a hot topic. It is.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:52

It's the same thing. Yeah. And I'm a two times speed girl. Okay. Okay. You people are psych No, I'm a hot girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:59

Okay, bye. Brain just does not process that. Nope. It goes 100. Well, we already know that you feel like reading is your me time. Reading is your only hobby. Um, has motherhood changed what you like to read?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:12

Yeah. You know what? Maybe it has. Because like I like the fantasy and stuff. I want to be taken away. Like, I when I take me to another freaking world. Like, I just love that. I love to read fantasy. I love to be just like taken to another world.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:27

Yes. And I love the fantasy. Okay, so my husband's a big fantasy reader.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:31

I wish I want Kilder read more than that. And he and he loves it. But also.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:36

Come here, Jinxie. Uh, the kitty cats have made an appearance on this episode too. Um, he's rubbing the mic. I'd splied. Um I was gonna say. Oh, Daniel, um, fantasy. So I always judge people with fantasy. I was like, ew, I don't want a fantasy book. But then I read Define Rivals, loved. Then I read Fourth Wing. Fourth Wing will just change anyone's mind. Yeah, Fourth Wing changed my whole life. And then I just read um, it was the one that I told you to read, and you hated it. You hated it. Quicksilver? Yes, you hated it. I loved it. I liked the second one better. Okay, I haven't read Primstone yet, but we did Quicksilver for our uh uh book club, my book club that I'm in, and I went to that kind of book club.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:23

Okay. Girl, you should You know what you need to read is Silver Elite.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:28

Okay, I put that on there and no one voted for it. That's how we pick our books. It was lit. I put four books on there and then everyone votes. And the top two books are two books of the move. I pick a random one for my book club.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:39

I let everybody make a suggestion, and it has to be one that nobody else has read, and then I just pick a random one.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:44

And that's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:45

That's it. You but then you get away from like people are gonna vote for like what they always read. Like it's nice to sometimes read something different.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:52

Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:53

Yeah, but I'm a fantasy gal, love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:55

So, like last year when I did my book club, I mean I had a s had a theme for every month. We did a survivor theme, we did a Love Island theme, we did a spring theme.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:04

Oh, see, we just did Christmas books at Christmas.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:06

So I so this year I'm like, I love you guys, but I'm not doing it. Not doing it. We're not doing this anymore. Nope. Um, have you ever hidden from your kids just to finish a chapter? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:17

Uh yes, and one time this book that I just recently read, and the second one's about to come out. Um, I was so I was listening to it. Okay. I did not have the book book. I don't know why, but I listened to the whole thing, and there was like 20 minutes left, and he was like, you know, we have to go to bed. It was like midnight, granted. And I was like, okay, he went to sleep, but I was listening to it out loud. Like I was listening to it out loud, like a psychopath, like on my phone. Like, oh, your earbuds in. I know. Like that's what I do have. Okay. So then like we turned all the lights on on laying there. Because he was like, we had to, I think we had to get up early the next day or something. And I just like laid there for like the next 10 minutes, and I was like, I won't be able to sleep. So I got up and I went in my closet and I finished the last 20 minutes of it by myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:05

Why did you just not put your earphones in?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:07

That, you know, looking back, like, why would I not have done that?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:09

So when Rowan was a newborn and she was sleeping in our room and I was wanting to watch TV, I was like, I can't watch TV because my daughter is literally in the same room. I'm like, my headphones. I can't watch it on my phone. What am I doing? Now I go to sleep listening to my books.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:25

No, I will literally, people will stare at me, but I will walk through, like, if I don't have my headphones, I will walk through a Walmart, a TJ Maxx, with my audiobook blasting on full blast on my speakerphone. I do not care. Do not care. What happens when you want when there's like a big huge mutt scene? You know what? I don't think I would listen to that part out loud, but I do. I will just be blasting it out loud.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:50

Oh my gosh, you are hilarious. Do you feel that for me, my books when I'm reading, it helps me escape mentally?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:57

Yes. It's such a nice pause and a nice break and just like a just like a resets me. Like I just like am at such peace and like it helps regulate my nervous system. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:08

Sometimes I rush bedtime. I'm like, go to bed, amen. So I can get in my bed and read. Were you a reader in high school? No. Me neither. I have dyslexia. So all I'm still friends with all my teachers on Facebook and they're all like, You're a reader now. Tasha, they're like, You're a reader now. And I'm like, yes. Too bad they didn't have audiobooks back in 2001 and 2 and 3 and 4. Mm-hmm. So if you could recommend one book to our reader, to our listeners, what book would you pick?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:37

One book. I feel like it has to be something I just read.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:42

Did I just put you on the spot?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:43

Do you know? If you want like a just a good like escape read, and it is and it's fantasy, but it's not like too much. If there's no like dragons, there's no like mystical creatures or anything, is Silver Elite. It was so good. Really? Yes. It was really good. Is there another book to it? Yeah, it comes out in June.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:02

Or maybe May. Oh my gosh. I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:05

I'm really excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:06

What's uh book has sucked you in and you just could not put it down? Like the number one book that was like, sorry, Kale, you're you're you're solo parents.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:17

The first one or like No. That was the the first one is like Thorns and Roses. No, all of them. I literally didn't come up for air for like two months.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:26

I remember you like posting about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:28

No, it was my whole life. Like I neglected my kids and husband. Oh my god. It was my whole life. Is it really that good? I was so sad for like months.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:37

Okay, I will start it once I wrap season one. Yeah, you should. Can you believe your episode?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:42

I'm jealous that like you haven't ever read it. Ugh, like to go back. It's like to get amnesia and just Yeah. Would would that be the book that you could go back and reread? Yeah, I would read that series again. And Throne of Glass. Throne of Gloss is so good. Like for the first time. Yes. If they're like, okay, we can clear your memory. I was I would want to forget. If they were like, you can forget something right now, I'd be like, Sarah J. Mass, erase all of it. All of it, take it all out.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:07

Oh my gosh, that's funny. Have you read any of the Finlay Donovan series? I think you would really love it. It's just very lighthearted. You can listen to it when you're like cleaning. You should. They're on audible, they're really good to listen to. I went to uh the author's book signing last Tuesday at the Tulsa Country Club, and it was so much fun. And they're just such light rays, they're so funny. It's about this mom who's an author and her batshit crazy best friend Vero, and they're like, it's just so funny. I love that. It's so funny. If there was one thing in your life that is beautiful but also chaotic, what would that be?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:42

Oh, my family.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:43

Yeah. Oh my gosh, Hannah, you are awesome. You are amazing. And thank you so much for coming on today and being your Leo self. We're both Leos. That's so funny. All right, guys. This conversation is one of those episodes that so many of us have needed because friendships in motherhood is not easy, especially in your 30s. And if you're in the season where friendships are hard, are lonely and confusing, you are not alone. Okay, please remember that. And thank you guys for always being here and always listening. And Hannah, thank you so much for being here with us in the beautiful Chaos family. And you are just a spitfire, and I love it. Thanks for having me. Yes. All right, guys, every episode drops every other Tuesday. And you can listen to my podcast anywhere you get your podcasts and on YouTube. Go follow love and subscribe. All right. Bye, guys. Bye. And remember, always eat beef. This episode is sponsored by Polo Grill. When you're craving a dining experience that feels timeless, refined, and truly unforgettable, there is only one place to go. At Polo Grill in Tulsa, every detail matters. From hand cut steaks and fresh seafood to an award-winning wine list and impeccable service, this is where special moments are made. Whether it's a date night, a celebration, or an evening just because, Polo Grill delivers classic elegance with modern flavor. Polo Grill Exceptional Dining. This episode is sponsored by Grazy Girl Creative Luxury Catering and Boutique House, bringing luxury charcuterie, beautiful events, and unforgettable experiences. Friends, if you're looking for an amazing charcuterie and a beautiful place to celebrate, you have to check out Grazy Girl. Their boards are next level, perfect for birthdays, showers, bachelorette parties, girls' night, and special occasions. Their boutique house is stunning and every detail is designed to make your event feel special. They even offer gorgeous Airbnb for stay vacations and girls' weekends. So whether you're planning something big or just want to treat your people, Grazy Girl is the place. Go follow them, book them, and see it for yourself. But trust me, you'll love it. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Magnolia Soaps and Bath Co. If you've never been to Magnolia Soaps, it's more than just a store. It's an experience. Everything is clean and made without harsh chemicals so you can feel good about what you're using. They have soaps, bath bombs, body scrubs, laundry wash, candles, really everything you need for your body and your home. A lot of their products are even made right in the store, which makes it feel really personal. But they also host girls' nights, birthday parties, and events where you can make your own product, which is such a fun experience. You can visit them on Cherry Street, Woodland Heels Mall, our downtown Broken Arrow, or shop online. Once you go, you'll see why everyone loves it. This episode is brought to you by Party Perfect Events. If you're planning a wedding, Party Perfect is your go-to for making your big day seamless and beautiful. From tents, tables, and chairs to linens, place settings, and a full event setup, they have everything you need to bring your vision to life. Whether you're dreaming of an outdoor ceremony or a fully styled reception, they handle all the details so you can actually relax and enjoy your day. Because your wedding should feel special, stress-free, and completely you. If you're getting ready to say I do, party perfect events has you covered, go check them out and start planning your perfect day.