The Beautiful Chaos with Natasha

Episode 12: The Pressure Behind the Highlight Reel ft. Bethany Morris

• Natasha • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Season One of Beautiful Chaos with Natasha comes to a close with one of the most honest and emotional conversations yet featuring special guest Bethany Morris.

In this season finale, Natasha and Bethany sit down for a raw conversation about motherhood, divorce, relationships, social media pressure, mental overload, and the reality behind the perfectly curated highlight reels we see online every single day.

Together, they discuss the importance of creating safe spaces for our children making sure they know they can come to us no matter what they’re facing. From navigating difficult conversations to raising emotionally safe and secure kids in today’s social media-driven world, this episode dives into the challenges modern parents are carrying behind closed doors.

Natasha and Bethany also open up about the hidden pressure of being a content creator and influencer. The constant pressure to create, stay relevant, look perfect, and continue showing up online while simultaneously balancing motherhood, marriage, healing, friendships, mental health, and everyday life can become exhausting and overwhelming.


This episode covers:
Divorce and navigating hard seasons
Mom guilt and emotional burnout
The pressure behind social media and influencing
The negative impact social media can have on women and families
Raising children who feel safe talking to their parents
Marriage struggles, identity loss, and mental load
Balancing motherhood, work, and real life behind the scenes
Learning to give yourself grace during overwhelming seasons
Trusting God even when life feels uncertain


This finale is vulnerable, relatable, emotional, and deeply honest a reminder that nobody truly has it all together no matter how perfect life may appear online.



Because at the heart of Beautiful Chaos has always been one thing: creating space for real women to have real conversations about the beauty and the chaos of life. 



Episode 12 featuring Bethany Morris is now streaming on YouTube and anywhere you listen to podcasts.

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SPEAKER_00

This episode is sponsored by LBL Land and Cattle LLC, your source for the healthiest belted Galloway beef cattle for your table. And remember, always eat beef. This episode is sponsored by Polo Grill. When you're craving a dining experience that feels timeless, refined, and truly unforgettable, there is only one place to go. At Polo Grill in Tulsa, every detail matters. From hand cut steaks and fresh seafood to an award-winning wine list and impeccable service, this is where special moments are made. Whether it's a date night, a celebration, or an evening just because Polo Grill delivers classic elegance with modern flavor. Polo Grill Exceptional Dining. This episode is sponsored by Grazy Girl Creative Luxury Catering and Boutique House, bringing luxury charcuterie, beautiful events, and unforgettable experiences. Friends, if you're looking for an amazing charcuterie and a beautiful place to celebrate, you have to check out Grazy Girl. Their boards are next level, perfect for birthdays, showers, bachelorette parties, girls' night, and special occasions. Their boutique house is stunning and every detail is designed to make your event feel special. They even offer gorgeous Airbnb for stay vacations and girls' weekends. So whether you're planning something big or just want to treat your people, Grazy Girl is the place. Go follow them, book them, and see it for yourself. Trust me, you'll love it. This episode is brought to you by Magnolia Soaps and Bath Co. If you've never been to Magnolia Soaps, it's more than just a store. It's an experience. Everything is clean and made without harsh chemicals so you can feel good about what you're using. They have soaps, bath bombs, body scrubs, laundry wash, candles, really everything you need for your body and your home. A lot of their products are even made right in the store, which makes it feel really personal. They also host girls' nights, birthday parties, and events where you can make your own product, which is such a fun experience. You can visit them on Cherry Street, Woodland Heels Mall, our downtown Broken Arrow, or shop online. Once you go, you'll see why everyone loves it. This episode is brought to you by Party Perfect Events. If you're planning a wedding, Party Perfect is your go-to for making your big day seamless and beautiful. From tents, tables, and chairs to linens, place settings, and a full event setup, they have everything you need to bring your vision to life. Whether you're dreaming of an outdoor ceremony or a fully styled reception, they handle all the details so you can actually relax and enjoy your day. Because your wedding should feel special, stress-free, and completely you. If you're getting ready to say I do, party perfect events has you covered. Go check them out and start planning your perfect day. Welcome to the Beautiful Chaos with Natasha, the space where real life gets a voice. Here we talk about the messy, the meaningful, and the moments that shape us. I am your host, Natasha. A mom, a wife, a creator, a woman doing her best in the middle of the madness. This podcast was born out of the moments I thought would break me. When life felt too heavy, too chaotic, and too lonely. But somewhere in the middle of the struggle, I realized I wasn't the only one. So many women are walking through their own storms, caring stories they've never had a safe place to share. This season, I am sitting down with women who have walked through fire, rebuilt from the ashes, and found healing in places they never expected. Women who are brave enough to tell the truth, the whole truth about motherhood and everything that comes with it. Marriage, mental health, lost identity, and the beautiful mess of real life. Nothing is off-limits. Nothing is filtered. This is where we are honest and where we remember we are not alone. So let's dive in and find the beauty in the chaos together. Hey guys, welcome back to the season finale of Beautiful Chaos with Natasha, episode 12. I literally cannot believe I am saying that. That is wild. 12 episodes. And today for the season finale, we have the one and only Bethany Morris here with us today. And you are a ray of sunshine. And I am just so thankful that you are here. Happy, happy to be here. So excited. Thank you for having me. Oh my gosh, of course. Of course. I cannot imagine not having you. I've been pounding and like texting you, blowing up your phone, all of the and you finally answered. I know that you have a lot going on. You have four kids. Yes. You're a content creator, but also you are from Broken Arrow, just like me. Just like you, girl. Did you graduate from BA2? No, I went to Metro. Okay, yes. I forget that you guys, you and your sister, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, okay. We moved over there.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. And is your mom and dad still in town?

SPEAKER_02

Yep, they're right in Tulsa. We're all within like 15 minutes of each other. It's the best. Yeah. I love it. It's the best setup.

SPEAKER_00

I love it. Oh my gosh. Okay, can you just share with us a little bit who is Bethany Morris?

SPEAKER_02

Oh my gosh. This is a daunting question. I don't know who I am right now. I'm going through this crazy season of life. Um, but I am. I always start by saying like I'm a Mama Four. I don't know why. I guess that's like my identity right now. So, Mama Four, I live in Broken Arrow. I create content through Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, all over the board. And I absolutely love it. Um, you know, I spend so much time with my kids, but when I'm not with them, I like to read, journal, go for a walk, do things like things like that. Yeah. Love that. Do you have any other hobbies that you like to do? Um, okay, I've gotten into like romantic books, like the fantasy ones.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, girl, I've just finished Shield of Sparrows. Is it good? So good. You've got to get on. I will tell you that the first 60% is a lot of world building. So if you like world building type of fantasy lover books, that is the type. That's all to go in for it. Yes, yes, yes. I love it. So you're a mom of four. How many uh giving me their names?

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so I have Elijah, who's seven, then I have Marley, who's five, and then Rivers and Noah are twins who are three.

SPEAKER_00

The name River and Noah, oh my gosh, if I ever had a second, I would do Noah and a R.

SPEAKER_02

I was so hesitant about it, but now I'm like, I see her, and I'm sure everyone feels like this with their kid, but I'm like, I can't imagine choosing another name. I love that you choose it for a girl. I know. I loved, I love the gender-neutral names. Same. And it was perfect for her. Same. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's why I named Rowan Rowan, and I love that too. Loved spelling it with a Y. Oh, yeah. So cute. I love it. I love unique names like that. Same. And then I thought it was going to be unique, and then next thing I know, I'm seeing it again. Yeah, that's how it goes. This is freaking annoying. Yeah, literally, that's how it goes. Okay, so give us just a little bit of what life was like before you dived into social media.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so before social media, I was a teacher, and anyone from Oklahoma knows teachers just don't really have that earning potential to like make more money. And as we had more kids. Your education system sucks. It really does.

SPEAKER_00

What grade did you teach?

SPEAKER_02

I taught third grade, and then I went to Epic Charter Schools and I taught special education. So I went preschool up through 12th, and I really had a hard time with their model. Um so that's why I took a leave from Epic. Okay. Because I agree completely that the whole dynamic of education in Oklahoma is just a big mess. It is a big mess. Moved on from that. I posted a video at one point and it went viral on TikTok. And it's when TikTok, I'm trying to remember what year it was, probably like 2021. So I missed the big wave. That's the story of my life, by the way. Like I missed the wave of everyone like going viral from like posting their cat dancing. Yes. And I posted a video in 2021 and it went viral. It was so funny because I was running around my house and I was like, I'm an influencer.

SPEAKER_00

I literally, and I really did. Watch out, guys. Watch out.

SPEAKER_02

But you are though.

SPEAKER_00

You have built a beautiful platform, a beautiful business from the bottom up. You have such a huge following, and you're so authentic when you do your videos, and you're just so real. I think that's no, I don't think. I know that's why you are known because you just call it as it is, and that's who I am as a person. Yeah. And there's no gray area with you. It's black and white. It's very truthful. And I feel like if you're gonna dive into this industry, especially as a mom, you have to be honest. 1000%. You have to be transparent because it's they will call you out.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, 1000%. And it's actually something I had on my mind to like talk about was that like with influencing, I used to be like, I want to grow a following. So I would look at everyone I followed and I was like, what do they have in common? Like what makes me follow them? And it like broke my heart because I was like, they're all really happy, but I don't always feel happy, and I don't want to just share happy content because this is hard. Like every mom can attest, like it is hard work, and it's like you don't want to be a Debbie Downer. You know, there's people who get online all the time and it's like victim mentality and this and that, which I can be guilty of too. But I was like, I want to be the balance of like sharing the highlights, but also sharing the reality of being a mom and just life, like in general.

SPEAKER_00

Because life isn't always beautiful and butterflies and rainbows and everything that people think it is. And I think that's I think when it comes to the content and the influencer world, especially as mothers, we do have to show both sides. Right. Yes, we don't want to be Debbie Downers and we don't want to act like my life is miserable, but my life is miserable some days. Yes. My my kid, for example, woke up at 2 30 today and didn't go back to sleep. I don't know if she fell back asleep just because my husband drove her to the ranch. So it's like, I'm tired. Exactly. I'm I'm outtouched. And I think if we continue to talk about it and we continue to share it, I think more moms will feel more confident in their motherhood journey.

SPEAKER_02

1,000%. It's validating, and sometimes that's all you need. You don't need any advice, you don't need the next hack from someone that shares, like, here's what I did. You just need someone to say, like, I'm in the trenches with you, and you're gonna get through it. And I hear you and I see you. Exactly. To be seen is to be, what is that phrase? Like, to be seen is to be loved or something. Yes. And I'm like, it's so true.

SPEAKER_00

It's so true. Makes you feel loved. So when you decided to get into the influencer world and the content world, were you scared at all? Or did you feel that God was like using you in some way?

SPEAKER_02

I was actually so much more confident and at peace with that earlier than I am now. I think there's just more pressure now, and it's um when you're depending on it for your income, it just takes some of the fun out of it. When I first started sharing, I could have posted myself dancing in like underwear and I probably wouldn't have cared. But I don't know why. Like insecurity crept in, and it's I'm in a better place now than I was, but it's definitely something that I was fearful along the way. But in the beginning, and I would tell anyone that when you're getting started, you literally cannot be afraid what people think. And it's a mental thing. Like everyone hears that, like that's the advice everyone gives. Like, you can't care what people think, post your video. But until you learn to like embrace that, like you're just not gonna go very far.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And that is something that I'm learning because I'm just now getting into the influencer and content world because I didn't realize how important that is when you build your brand. Right. No idea. People want to see what I'm doing. People want to see, like, I did a teacher appreciation reel and I posted and have over 500 views on it. Yeah, I mean, that's a lot for me. Yeah, but I'm just like, you want to see what I'm doing for teacher appreciation week. That's a little bizarre. It's crazy. It's it's kind of wild what pops off and what people want to see.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, 100%. It's always shocking.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, because I'm not gonna lie, I was I was the judgment person. I was judging all y'all. Y'all setting up the cameras, getting out of bed, doing all these things. And those are the videos that are most popular that go viral. People want to see your day-to-day life and how you do it, but what they don't see is the pressure that you put on yourself and the anxiety that it causes to get it edited. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

And like once you have one video do really well, or even a few, I always feel pressure. Like every video has to stack off the last one and to perform better and do better. And like, I've been in seasons where I've been in the 200 view jail. I've been in seasons where I'm like, how am I not breaking? Like, I have all these followers and I'm not, I still have that happen. And I've just learned like you can hide your likes, like you can hide your views, and then it kind of takes some pressure off. But at the same time, I'm like, I just don't care. Like, you can't delete every piece of content if it doesn't perform well. No, no, people go back and delete content. I mean, I've I've been guilty of it. Don't tell anyone. Don't tell anyone because I'm on the podcast. Actually, I just said that on Instagram stories the other day. I've deleted content if it doesn't perform well. More so just like if it's something that's not catching, and I'm like, okay, there's no point in having this out. I'll even save it. Like, cause sometimes if you it's just the algorithm and it's like this isn't long form right now.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, that's a whole great.

SPEAKER_02

So I'm like, I'm gonna save that in my back pocket for another day.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't even think about that. Yeah. And plus you said the algorithm. The algorithms, that is what I'm battling right now. And I'm just like, it's funny because like what I do, like my hashtags, like if I hashtag like Christian TikTok or something like that, those pop off. Yeah. But if I do like mom talk or if I do Oklahoma mom, like nothing is popping off.

SPEAKER_02

And I've learned, and I they said something about like hashtags don't matter, and it was like ingrained in me. I was like, they matter. I did a video and didn't put any, and it performed really well. So I guess it's all just trial and error and playing around with it, like anything else. What is something you've never said out loud about being an influencer? Oh gosh, something I've never said out loud. Um, it can be lonely because it's like I know it's the craziest thing. You can be lonely. I know this is literally, I was thinking about this as another mental note to talk about. It's just like you're constantly connected to people, like all the time, but you're not actually with them. And I remember when I was a teacher, like I loved that, like going into the teacher's lounge and you'd bump into someone and talk. You don't have that. And like I'm at home and I'm making videos. That's like you're not with anyone, like you're just making a video, posting it. And you don't have like as much as I love the community I've built, and I genuinely can't imagine getting to where I've been without their support. They are the best community. There's like a level of relationship that you just can't reach through the internet, right? And so, like when you're at home all day, like behind a computer, behind a phone, like you just kind of miss those personal relationships.

SPEAKER_00

And those one-on-one conversations, and I mean having like what you said, everyday conversations, having those relationships, because you do are just talking to your following right through the through the camera. Yes. So, how have you flipped that to make it feel less lonely?

SPEAKER_02

I do a lot with my family. I'm like I'm normally freakishly close with them. Like everyone might know.

SPEAKER_00

My family's always been very, very, very long.

SPEAKER_02

So we spend a lot of time with them, and then I have um a lot of just one-off friendships that I've just maintained through the years. Um, I'm in a Bible study. I have another group of friends that we meet like once a month and we'll go out to dinner or something. So I'm always connecting with and that maybe I don't know, lonely may not be the right word. Maybe I'm just I I'm just in a season where when you have four kids, like it's so hard to invest in a lot of relationships. Like one kid, like I'm sure you feel that it's hard to find the time to go have coffee with someone and just go to the case.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, don't even get me started on this conversation because it's so real.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, it is. So it just makes it challenging.

SPEAKER_00

And then on top of it, you're a single mom.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

So you're balancing your influencing world, your content world, your mental health, taking care of Bethany, going through a divorce, also having four kids on top of it. So you do have a lot of plates in the air. Yes, everything's being juggled. And I just hope that you're just able to give yourself just a just just the grace that you need.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's really hard. I think that for me with my kids, I'm so overwhelmed. But I like to say, and I'm sure like there's a lot of married people who could say the same. There's just a level of commitment and energy that moms put in. And I feel like I was doing that, I've been doing that for years alone without the support that I should have had. And that does something to someone mentally, emotionally, physically. Like, I can remember feeling so stressed, like more so then than I do now, because at least now I've accepted like I'm gonna do this myself. Like, I can get my routines in place, my structure, like everything like that. But it's really hard at the time when you see someone next to you and it's like, I'm drowning. Could you assist me, please? Like to communicate that and still not get the help. I know there's moms out there who feel like that.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, no, there are moms out there that are living in a household with another person and they're a single parent. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

And it's just and it's hard, and I'm I'm never going to be someone who advocates for divorce unless it's like the right circumstances, because there's some people who will get online and it's a coping. I I don't ever want to just sit there and talk about all the negatives, but like it's not something that I think should ever be glamorized because it is painful. It is so like there are just aren't words to describe the layers of pain and hurt that someone goes through when you go through a divorce. Yes, yes, and like as someone like in the thick of it, I'm still like I don't talk about it much on my social media. The pain every day does not go away. It's like grief, like when someone's like, So we're literally grieving something, grieving.

SPEAKER_00

You're grieving a person, you're grieving a life that you thought you were gonna have. So I don't know if you know this about me. I don't know if I've even talked about this on the podcast before, but I was previously married. Were you? Yes, I was married uh to my ex-husband, and we were young and dumb, and I think both families, both parties can agree we should have never gotten married, and I think we both how do I say this? It wasn't all his fault, it wasn't all my fault. We were just young and dumb and we should never gotten married. I wanted the wedding, and he just wanted to give me what I wanted, but we were 20, I was 24 when I got married. I was young too. And I was like, what am I doing? And I think I don't I don't I'm not saying get a div get a divorce just to get a divorce. I'm saying there are reasons to do it, but I don't think unless you've uh gone through it, you don't really understand. Right. But I didn't have children, I didn't have to fight for anything. The only thing I had to fight for was our debt that we were in. But I'm sure it's still painful, like the pain of it.

SPEAKER_02

In the grief of like And it was embarrassing. Yeah. Oh, 1000.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, the embarrassment was so embarrassing. And then we try and then we try to get back together and work through it. And then we both looked at each other like, let's just let's not try that.

SPEAKER_02

Let's just not do this anymore.

SPEAKER_00

And I think everybody was happy at the end of the day. But like, I mean, everyone comes to me sometimes, I was like, okay, so the divorce process, how was yours? I'm like, I literally paid $500, yeah, signed the papers. It was like a year process of him and I going back and forth, and then he signed, dropped him off at the house, and moved on. I moved on.

SPEAKER_02

Which is kind of like I don't want to say it's how it should be, because like it's just so sad to me, like grown men, and I guess women can be this way too. I haven't had that experience yet, or seeing anyone act like this, that's a woman, but I've heard a lot of men, like they just make it very difficult. Because it hurts their ego. 1,000%.

SPEAKER_00

All they care about is their ego. Right. They can all they care about is what how is this going to affect them and their um what is the word I'm looking for? Um, ego, and then what's the other one? Um, self-esteem, maybe? Yeah. 1,000%.

SPEAKER_02

Manhood. Manhood, yeah. I think that like the difference is that I I feel like I'm very self-aware and I'm not a perfect person. And I can stand here and say that, and I can list mistakes I've made, things I've done wrong, ways I've I failed in the marriage. And I can own it. And I can say I took accountability and I said, I want to do better. Like, I don't, I don't want to be like that. That's not who I am. That's not who Christ called me to be. It's just when someone's not willing to grow, because I can work with anyone willing to say, like, I did wrong, I messed up, I want to move forward and do better. You cannot work with someone who's a rock who's like and who just doesn't care.

SPEAKER_00

And who are just set in their ways because sometimes there are men out there, and this isn't just we're not trying to be bashful, guys, to the men, to the men, to the listeners, but we are talking about divorce today, and we are talking about we and it is a t heavy topic for mothers who are going through it, is that if you are in a hopeless marriage and your significant other isn't willing to grow, there's no growing, there's no movement. Your life is paused, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

It's limbo and it's yeah, excruciating. And that's what I'll never understand. I will never wrap my mind. Mind around it because I just look like I saw this video, it's like the family that I had, and you see your kids and everyone, like your husband, like everyone playing and having fun. And I'm like, those moments happened. And to be honest, like there are still times when you see glimpses, and it's like, why? Like, why throw it away over inability to just say, like, I want to do like no one, that's not something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of to want to do better. We all mess up in life. It's how you choose to react and how you choose like who you want to become. Right. And I want my kids to see that. Like, I want them to see like you can make mistakes. I've made mistakes. Like, I've you take accountability and you do better. Like it's as simple as that. 100%. And you stopped making those mistakes.

SPEAKER_00

And we also want to preface that we have tiny humans watching us. Yes. And watching every move we make, and the older they get, the more they are absorbing. 1000%. And I will die on this heel. I always believe in two happy parents and two happy houses. Do not stay together for the kids. And I've always I've always preached that. And that's something me and my husband, we've had conversations about. If there's ever a point in our marriage where we're like, okay, we have done everything and it's getting to a point where we are talking about this, let's do it. Because I don't ever want to have my child grow up in the unhappy household that I I witness between my biological mother and my father. And that's what I just tell all of my girlfriends who are going through it or are thinking about divorce or whatever the case may be. The kids deserve a happy mom and a happy dad. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

And the biggest lie from the devil that I have had whispered in my ear, and that others have said to me is like, the kids are going to be so traumatized. No, they're not. I'm like, no, like I I I mean, you do what you want, but like for me, like I'm confident as a mother that my kids are gonna heal and they're gonna come out of this they shouldn't have to be resilient. I don't think kids, I hate when people say that like kids are resilient, they shouldn't have to be. Right. Um, and my job is as their mom is to soften it and to make it a healing process for all of us and to show up for them how they need and to be there and not to dismiss their feelings, but to be like, we're gonna be okay. If someone's constantly told, like, this is awful, this is the worst thing, like how do you think they're gonna feel? Yeah, this is awful, this is the worst thing.

SPEAKER_00

Right, right. They're not gonna they're they're gonna think this is the end the the my life end of the freaking world. Yes, but also when the kids get older, they're gonna look at you and say, Mom, thank you. Exactly. And it's just so having a lot of people. And they're gonna look at their dad and say, Thank you, dad, thank you. I know it was hard for you back then, but thank you. I love you. And that's yes, and that is something like right now, I think, when you are in the depths of divorce, especially with children, everything is so heated and so hot that you know you're not able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I just I just hope I can give you the encouragement and other moms that are listening, encouragement that this is just part of the season right now. It's not going to be like this forever. And you are gonna find someone that loves you. You are gonna be with somebody, and this is just this is just a part of it, it's a part of the journey.

SPEAKER_02

And I want so desperately to just like accept because I have a hard time accepting like God can take something that feels so excruciatingly painful and so like my like my world is ending, like this is the crazy thing that's happened, and I still have moments where I think that, but I want to believe like, okay, God, like I know your plans are better. And it's I don't know. I saw a quote that was like, We're the first generation of women who left for the kids instead of staying for the kids. That is so true.

SPEAKER_00

That is so true.

SPEAKER_02

And I'm like, I feel that deep in my soul because it generational, like it is a it's a generational thing. It runs so deep generationally.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know if you guys know this, but I went to school with Bethany's sister Hannah. So I grew up around Bethany a little bit when I was younger. I've got to see her mom and dad and their marriage, and they are role models of what marriage is and a partnership is. So back to my question, did you feel the pressure to stay in your marriage because that was how you were raised?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. Pressure might have been the word. I think I felt like Expectation. Expectation. I felt like a failure because um my sister is in a loving, happy marriage. My parents obviously are in a loving happy marriage, and that's all I've ever wanted. Like the rug that was swept out from under me with all of this has been devastating because of that. Because I'm gonna cry probably. You're okay. Showing up to like holidays alone, like without your significant other is really hard. When you see everyone else having what you want, like it's just hard, and you're like, why don't I have that?

SPEAKER_00

Like And you are and and you and you are going to have that. You are going to have that.

SPEAKER_02

I believe that one day that could happen. And I think what God revealed to me is like just be okay to heal, like let me heal you and believe like my hand, my hand is in this.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, you have to be healed before he before you can be and before that door can open. And yes, I totally understand going to the holidays and seeing your significant other and seeing your sister and everybody, but like God has a plan for you. And even though that is the most annoying thing to say, which it is, you don't do not compare yourself to them, to anybody in this world because there is a reason why this is happening. You are changing people's lives with what you are sharing is with when what you are talking about. You are taking the stigma away, like what you just said our generation, we are leaving for the kids. Yeah, we're not staying for the kids anymore. And provo to you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02

It's just so like um I think when I like this has not happened overnight, and I don't think people understand that. This took years. Years years of trying and quite literally making myself the I if somebody took a video of me in my house trying to communicate, I I looked crazy, like I will completely say it. And I was called crazy, but I knew in my heart, I was like, I'm not crazy, like I'm saying the most basic things, like what I want out of this is not crazy, like I just want basic, bare minimum. And that's when I realized, and I think God genuinely revealed it, you're begging for dirt, you're begging for less than the bare minimum, and you're worth so much more than that. And so through this, it's like I said the thing about leaving for the kids. I feel selfish ever saying like it was for me, but I do believe my kids deserve a mom who doesn't feel crazy and who knows in her heart, like God says this and this and this about me. If I stay with someone who treats me this way and talks to me this way, who does not show me love in any capacity, I'm demeaning myself. And I would never want my daughters ever to see that or to feel like that one day in their own relationship. It's such a complex subject, as I'm sure you know, because I like never want to talk and sound like a victim. I've made mistakes, I'm imperfect, but I wholeheartedly to my core believe I'm a workable person. Like I'm not stuck in any way. Somebody could come to me and be like, I don't like that you did this. And I would look within myself and say, Do I need to like do something different?

SPEAKER_00

Do I need to reevaluate?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, how how did I hurt this person by my actions? And I think it's scary when you look at someone and tell them what you did hurt me, and they stare at you stone cold and keep doing it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

The narcissist is part of it.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Do you ever have any mom guilt? Oh, all the time.

SPEAKER_02

I think I like I go to therapy for that. Like always feeling guilty about everything. And that's not how it should be.

SPEAKER_00

No, I'm an individual too. I have a really hard time with um my time management, with like how for example, I'm building a brand, I'm building a podcast, I'm building a company, I am trying to build a future for myself and for my family. And I feel that it's taking away from Rowan, and I never want Rowan to be like, well, the podcast was more important than me.

SPEAKER_02

That's literally, it's like deciding between, and like now as I'm becoming this single mom, it's like I don't have a choice. Like I feel like it's all riding on my back, but I'm like, my emotional needs have not been met for a long time, and I'm sitting here pouring myself into my kids to meet theirs. I'm like But who's taking care of you? And that's where I'm like, I have to have I'm really bad about it, like designating time for me, and I need to put my phone away. Like I need to stop scrolling as my free time. That's not a good way to pass time. Like, I need to read more of my fantasy romance books. But mom guilt is something like whether you've been a mom, I feel like for five years, ten years, I'm like, do you always have it? Like when your kids are grown up, do you still have mom guilt? I mean, did our moms have mom guilt? I don't know. Like, do they have you ever talked to your mom about that? She says certain stories, like, because I've asked her about our childhood. And you know what's funny is as she always does, if we ask anything about our childhood, my mom's like, I don't remember. But there are instances sometimes that she's like, I remember when I did this, and I'm like, so these core memories are gonna stick with me like until I hit the grave. Am I ever gonna move past it? Like, I think if I'm sure we've all had the yell moment when you like remember that one time you like lost your shiz on your kids, and they were like, I can't stand like if my kids look scared of me, I'm like, oh my gosh, like I'm a monster. What am I doing?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, Shane, that happened to me in the middle of the night today when Rowan was up in the middle of the night. She was laying there and she was just we're still we still have a passy. I have no idea. She was not a passy baby girl. She was not even a passy baby. She found it like she found one somewhere. And anyway, so she was like taking her passy and then taking this toy, and she was like banging it. It's like 3:30 in the morning. This morning. And I looked out and I was like, Rowan! And she's like, mommy, you scare me. I'm like, oh my god, dude. She's gonna eat you out of the house at the right page of three. Literally. Oh my gosh, yeah. Mom guilt was really hard. I feel like ever since I had Rowan, I haven't been able to like really fully enjoy myself. Is that true? Yeah, that's valid.

SPEAKER_02

No. I feel like a lot of people will say this. I was talking with some moms about this recently. It takes so long to feel like yourself again. After having kids. Yeah, they're like, oh, like your hormones settle after this. I'm like, not me. Mine must be raging. It takes me out of four times. I feel like I'm just now, and I I don't think anyone's the same version of themselves they were before kids, but I'm just now feeling more like myself.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh. Okay, so I recently was at a meeting with uh this beautiful soul. Her name is uh Bailey. Hi Bailey, I know you're listening. Um she's gonna come on for season two, but we were having a meeting and we were sitting there, we were talking, and she's like you and I. She had a very, very, very hard time with postpartum, and she said something that like stayed with me, and I cannot wait to talk about it, but I have to mention it when you just said about the um different versions of ourselves. She said, You uh walk into the hospital as one person, yes, and then you leave that hospital as a completely different woman. Yeah, and you don't even know who that woman is. And I was just like, I have goosebumps, you can see it, I have goosebumps. Like when she said that, I resonated with that so much because that is-crazy if you think about it. It's literally you walk in as this one person and then you walk out as a completely different person. And you have a baby in your arms, and you're like, what do I do with this baby?

SPEAKER_02

Literally, what do I do with this chicken? That is and we still don't know. And we still don't know anymore. Every single day is different, every day is different.

SPEAKER_00

And no, but seriously, like I think I I I think when it comes to the mom guild and the postpartum and us trying to find ourselves again, it does take a very long time.

SPEAKER_02

An unfortunately long time.

SPEAKER_00

Unfortunately a long time. But like what I said, well, does it ever get easier? Like, I mean, Rowan spent the weekend at my parents' house last weekend, so I can get some stuff done, so I can get caught up on things, and I'm I didn't even enjoy it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

The second she walked out that door, I was like, come back. It never ends. And and time feels so different now because a weekend when we were in our early 20s felt like a weekend. I get a day away now, and I'm like, I blinked, and my kids are back back. Yes. Also, like there's just so much stuff on the back burner that when you do catch up, you spend the whole time frantically getting it done. I don't know. I went on a vacation with my mom and sister, and we did nothing. Like we stayed in Broken Bow at a cabin, didn't leave. We brought all the food back there. It was the most refreshed I've felt. And so, like, because you know, you go on a vacation and sometimes you're like busy with it when you go to your kids with your kids, it's a work trip.

SPEAKER_00

I haven't taken Ron on a vacation yet. We've only gone to Bronson.

SPEAKER_02

Take your time, girl.

SPEAKER_00

I just like like um one of my one of my sister-in-laws, I have three sister-in-laws, and one of them said, I'm never going back to the beach. Why would I go to the beach with my kids? Oh, it's just a bunch of chaos, a bunch of work. We're going to a resort with a butler. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I said, absolutely freaking literally. Yeah. And go, yeah. I'm a huge, I'm seriously still contemplating taking like a healing trip by myself when the time is right. But I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna do it. Take a week.

SPEAKER_00

I've been saying it for so long, and I think the girls are old enough now where you can step away for a little bit.

SPEAKER_02

And I have the best support system, so I know it'd be fine. You should do it. I might not come back. I'm checking.

unknown

I would.

SPEAKER_02

But that feeling when you're gone, it's the craziest. We all know it as moms. You leave, you get in the car, go on the plane, and you're like, I miss my kids.

SPEAKER_00

So me and my husband went on our first vacation together in five years. I couldn't even enjoy myself. Looking at pictures the whole time and thinking of like, what's really looking at pictures, stressing about what she was doing. Is my mom and dad okay with her? Is she okay? Yeah, that's the other thing's worrying about that.

SPEAKER_02

The caretakers are okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because I mean our parents are getting older, so I'm like, are they okay? Are we uh is she okay? And look at Daniel and I'm like, what do we do with our time? And it's just it it's yeah, it's it's hard to relax.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, it's hard to relax and be present when you're away from your kids. It's I don't I don't know what it is. It's like if you're on a in a car going 100 miles an hour and the car stops and you're supposed to get out and walk, and you're like, I don't know where I'm supposed to go. Oh my gosh. I'm lost in the world.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, that is just how it feels. Yes. This episode is brought to you by Magnolia Soaps and Bath Co. If you've never been to Magnolia Soaps, it's more than just a store, it's an experience. Everything is clean and made without harsh chemicals so you can feel good about what you're using. They have soaps, bath bombs, body scrubs, laundry wash, candles, really everything you need for your body and your home. A lot of their products are even made right in the store, which makes it feel really personal. They also host girls' nights, birthday parties, and events where you can make your own product, which is such a fun experience. You can visit them on Cherry Street, Woodland Hills Mall, our downtown Broconero, or shop online. Once you go, you'll see why everyone loves it. This episode is sponsored by Grazy Girl Creative Luxury Catering and Boutique House, bringing luxury charcuterie, beautiful events, and unforgettable experiences. Friends, if you're looking for an amazing charcuterie and a beautiful place to celebrate, you have to check out Grazy Girl. Their boards are next level, perfect for birthdays, showers, bachelorette parties, girls' night, and special occasions. Their boutique house is stunning and every detail is designed to make your event feel special. They even offer gorgeous Airbnb for stay vacations and girls' weekends. So whether you're planning something big or just want to treat your people, Grazy Girl is the place. Go follow them, book them, and see it for yourself. Trust me, you'll love it. This episode is sponsored by Polo Grill. When you're craving a dining experience that feels timeless, refined, and truly unforgettable. There is only one place to go. At Polo Grill in Tulsa, every detail matters. From hand-cut steaks and fresh seafood to an award-winning wine list, an impeccable service, this is where special moments are made. Whether it's a date night, a celebration, or an evening just because Polo Grill delivers classic elegance with modern flavor. Polo Grill, exceptional dining. So when it comes to protecting your piece and protecting your children's piece, when it comes to being a content creator, how do you b balance that? Do you ever feel pressure to share them? Aren't you are you feeling like you're pulling back more?

SPEAKER_02

I would say I've scaled back. And if there's a direction I'm headed, it's taking them off the internet completely. Yeah. Um, which I personally like it's hard to talk about because I know some people are very passionate and they should be. I do not exploit my kids. Never have, never will. I'm never gonna look at them and say, say this for the camera or do this. Like if I happen to post something, it's a raw moment and I happen to have my phone out. And even then, like I don't share all of those. My content is 95% me.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_02

And I can't stand like like the people who it's all about their kid, like their whole page is their child. And I'm like, that to me, like that's just like exploitation of your child.

SPEAKER_00

It is. Did you hear about the Tennessee law? Oh, yes, I did. And then people are moving out. And then he and then he claimed, Oh, I'm not moving out. I'm like, no, boy. Yeah, you guys put your ass on the market. We all see you, we all see what you guys are doing because it's so it's so popular up in Nashville right now. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

And people moved, I think they were one that moved from California because of the same laws. And my kids, like, I do a lot of UGC, so it's never posted on my socials. And I have one It's UGC. So that's user-generated content, and it's videos I make for brands, and I don't post it on my page, but they'll run ads with it on Google or Facebook.

SPEAKER_00

Meta, Meta, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And every now and then I'll get a toy one. And if it's one like my kids really want the toy, I will do that. And then I have bank accounts for my kids and I'll put the money in that account for them. Good for you. But I don't, that's very, very rare. Right. Because that's just not a path I want to go down. But I just feel better about not posting it on my own channel. And even then it's still like I tell brands up front, like, you're gonna get raw footage. I'm not asking my kid to do anything, they're not an actor, they're not an actress, period. Right. I really see myself taking them off the internet soon for my own reasons and reasons that are being presented to me. And I'm okay with that. Like it's never been something that I'd fight. Like if someone said, like my my thought was always this if tomorrow whoever owns social media channels wakes up and says, You can't have your kids on here anymore, would my platform stand on its own two feet? And I was like, Yes, it would. If someone can't say that, I think that's a problem. Because they could very well do that at some point. No minors allowed, no children under the age of 10, 12, whatever.

SPEAKER_00

Where was it? I think I just saw it. Is it crazy that we get all of our news from TikTok? Literally. I think I saw a video of that in Europe now that it's banned. That if you're not 18 and older, you cannot have social media.

SPEAKER_02

Valid. I mean, my kids are not gonna have social media. How are we okay?

SPEAKER_00

Let me let's talk about that. What are we gonna do? What are we going to do when these kids are old enough? Yeah. Because do you know my story about my cell phone? No, I'm scared. Should I buckle in? Buckle in, girl.

SPEAKER_01

I am scared.

SPEAKER_00

But phones were just a thing, taking pictures, social media, whatever. So when I was a sophomore in high school, I took a naked photo and sent it to my boyfriend at the time.

unknown

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00

Stop. Can you imagine? I already know where this is going. Right. Because we're in high school.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, we don't know what's out there being I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I mean, it got spread around the school, all the things I had to move schools. That's traumatic. It was traumatic, but I mean it is what it is. I wouldn't be who I am today. And it's just part of my story.

SPEAKER_02

And then I've heard so many like that's like horror stories about it. Yes, and we can't control our daughters maybe one day doing that. Right. So what are we gonna do? So what are we gonna do? Okay, I say that. I mean, I'm going I'm gonna lock them in a cupboard. They're gonna actually never leave my house and meet anyone, and then it won't happen. I'm actually Gypsy Rose, though. She she found someone somehow, so anyone can do like literally no one's safe. I'm like, I guess really I'm gonna push. My kids are not, they'll get one of those phones that's like you can call. I don't I don't know about like I've heard of these kids' phones. I don't know if they can text, but I seem like they can call and have a yeah.

SPEAKER_00

My friend, she's like in the midst of trying to debate to get her son a cell phone because he's about to go into sixth grade. And I'm like, this. And it's so young. I mean, how how old were you when you got your first phone? Oh, I was like in ninth grade. I think I was in eighth grade. Yeah. And it was a flip phone. Yeah. And you can only call people.

SPEAKER_02

We can't do anything fun on it.

SPEAKER_00

No, we can't do anything fun on it. And we couldn't even text at that point. So now it's like looking back, and we have our little tiny humans, and it's like, okay, so what are we going to try to do to protect them from the real world?

SPEAKER_02

And I will say, like, I was in a sheltered household, I would say, growing up. She were very sheltered. Sheltered. We were very sheltered. Very good. No hate to mom and dad. But I will say, you had your experience with Hannah. She's going to kill me for saying this. She's like, she was a little more on the um tame, crude side. I was over here online talking about Ministry of Australia in middle school, and I was like, chat rooms. Like I was a psycho. I love it. My parents should have locked me up. I love it. All the things they thought that they were like, she's not doing that. I probably was doing that. And I look at my kids and I'm like, you're not having. I will say, think about the internet back then. It was so different. My parents were not educated. They didn't know. None of our parents were educated. It was new. Right. But we know. And I'm like, my kids will not have. I think social media to me is the biggest thing. Like it's a good idea. Did you ever have a Zinga? I don't like to talk about it. Yeah, I did. Bring MySpace.

SPEAKER_00

Bring MySpace back.

SPEAKER_02

Please, Tom.

SPEAKER_00

Tom, please bring it back. I would. I mean, I would literally, I would literally, Bethany, I would pay money to see my old MySpace. I don't remember my name. I don't remember my past.

SPEAKER_02

This is crazy. Look your name up on Google later and just sift through images. I have found my old MySpace pictures. I'm not joking, under Google Images. Really? Very odd. Very odd. Kind of concerning, actually. Yeah, that it's kind of concerning. I don't know what else they have on me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, who knows? I mean, who knows what the heck we were doing back then. But like when it comes to our children, me and Daniel really haven't had this conversation yet. Um, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_02

It's it's complex.

SPEAKER_00

I do want it, I do want her to feel safe enough to come to me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I never want my child to ever feel she cannot come to me about anything. I don't care what it is. Right. I'm your first call. Yep, I love that.

SPEAKER_02

That's how it should be. That's how it should be. But for my kids, I'm like, I want that too. Like, I want to be your first call. I want this to be an emotionally safe space no matter what. What I'm I'm not gonna agree with you on everything, and I'm gonna tell you, like, and give you advice that's hopefully godly advice that points you in the right direction. But I will love you and I'm here for you regardless of anything that happens in life.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And that is the important thing I feel is our duties as moms is to be raising these children in a godly foundation, number one. But also something that I've recently learned is that they are going to have to fail. Yeah. I can't I hate that. And and I hate that too, because I'm very protective of Rowan, even though she's just three and a half. And I want her to succeed. I want her to be in the best school, I want her to be in all of the things because of my struggles. And it's funny because our parents always say, we wanted to give you what we didn't have. And now look at us, we're saying the same thing about our children. And I think if we just are, I feel like if we're just transparent and honest with them and we're just and we know that we were all dumb and young in high school.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Which we were, we were, and I and I fully expect that. I pray to God my kids like every day. I'm like, don't do what I did. But I'm like, and but if you do, I'm here. Like, and I've gone through it. Yes. And especially like there's so many times when you're younger, I feel like things happen and you're like, My life is over, like my parents are gonna kill me, or like no one's gonna love me. And it can be like something stupid, but I'm like, but we're here to tell you like you're it's the same thing we talked about earlier. Like, you're gonna make it through. Everyone who's gone before you will tell you there's nothing you can do in life, like this the world is still going, baby. Like it's gonna keep going.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and that's a thing that I think sometimes in today's society we forget. Yeah, because people are like again, back on a social media topic. It's so public. Everything is known, everything is out there. We have no more privacy, none, zero.

SPEAKER_02

I'm a big fan though, and I had to be cry it out. I still get anxious if I'm in a store and I hear a new one cry, I'm like, where is it? Where is it? What do I need to do here? Your baby's hungry. Like, will you get your bottle? Like, I still have that PTFL. Yes, exactly. And I'll never forget. A mom came up to me in Target one time when she was older. I was trying to make my bottles, the twins were there, everyone was screaming, and she didn't ask to hold a baby, but she was like, Can I help you like make those? And I'll never forget it. Because you know how people are, they're so unhelpful. They say, like, you've got your hands full. Like, why? Okay, okay, break it down, run it back.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. If you see a mom out in public struggling, having a hard time, please ask her if you could help her. Because in that moment, with all of the kids screaming, yelling, crying, and we're trying to get checked out, we're trying to do all of these things, and you're sitting there judging us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I can't stand that too.

SPEAKER_00

I cannot stand it. I cannot stand it out.

SPEAKER_02

My sister one time said it, and she's really good about this. She was like, never parent out of embarrassment. Like whenever you're embarrassed, people are watching, so you're like, be quiet, shut your mouth like to your kid. You're like, Wop whop. Like, never parent out of embarrassment. People can walk on. Go get in your car if you don't want to be here around my kid.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And there I was in a situation where um at Target and I saw a mom struggling, and I walked up to her. I literally heard the baby screaming, found her, and I said, How can I help you?

SPEAKER_01

You're the best.

SPEAKER_00

What can I do? And that's how it should be.

SPEAKER_02

Like, let me I especially moms who have been through it. Yes. You get it. Why are we judging each other? I'll never understand. It is so much mom shame in the community, like mom communities.

SPEAKER_00

Like the mom shaming is almost worse than the mom guilt.

SPEAKER_02

It is. Oh, and that's where it comes from. I'm like, there's things I probably would have never felt guilty of, like, even my phone. If someone hadn't posted a video, like, I don't want to be on my phone, and it shows like the kids' perspective, I'm like, that's so deep. Yes, there's balance, but there's also like if you're working from your phone and that's how you provide the food for your kids or their child, their school tuition, like the clothing on their back, it's okay to be on your phone for a little bit. There's just nuances and balance with everything. And we've made it this isolated, like gen, like one way is the only way to do it.

SPEAKER_00

That is why I started Beautiful Chaos. I love it. Because I was like, why do we have such a high stigma? Yeah, not even just in motherhood, Bethany, it's in womanhood. In life, yeah. In life. I feel like when we were growing up, the the drama was just so excessive. Yeah. And then now we're mothers and we're wives or we're single or whatever the case may be, and we're trying to pan each other against each other. Why or why why is it a competition?

SPEAKER_02

I still think like it comes from all the comparison we see like on social media. And I think there's a lot of I don't want to say miserable people, but it's just like jealous people, I guess. I don't know who feel the need to point out like what you're doing wrong as a mom. Maybe, like you said, woman, wife, human to make themselves feel better. Feel better. Which is sad. To elevate themselves. Yeah. It is. It's it's really sad. And it's devastating to a lot of people's self-esteem.

SPEAKER_00

And stigma- I mean, stigma and mental health. And I mean that's another thing. It's like the mental health segment of being a mom and being a part of this crazy world that we live in today is um it's very important to be able to feel safe enough and say, I'm not okay. I am depressed, I am struggling. Like the last couple of days I've really been struggling. And I texted my husband yesterday while he was at work, and I said, I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm struggling right now. Like I I tweaked my back a few days ago, so like I've been kind of down in bed, but it's like it's I don't think people understand what their words do to others.

SPEAKER_02

Agree. Completely agree. And the audacity people have now because of their access to being able to say what they want to people. Someone said recently, like, you used to compare yourself to your friends and your neighbors, and now people just have this open door to have access to say whatever they even if you're not an influencer, like people can message you, say mean things.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it was like your friend Lexi. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00

This week.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that was a local bizarre.

SPEAKER_00

There was a local influencer. I'm not gonna go into detail, but her name's Lexi. She's so sweet. I've been following her for a while. Um, and she just got ran. I don't I don't even know what the stat, I don't even know what the topic was because I couldn't keep up with it. But I mean, she was brutalized.

SPEAKER_02

Like completely verbally is like assaulted.

SPEAKER_00

Literally, and the audacity that these people have to sit behind your phone, you're a coward.

SPEAKER_02

1000% a coward. And it's so telling of that person. Like it took me into adult hold to understand that phrase. Like, this says more about you than me. I'm a healed person. I don't need to defend myself to someone who's gonna attack me, and I don't feel the need to ever attack someone, unless you mess with my friends, um, verbally. And that's something God's working on my heart for. I did send that girl a little message, um, but God convicted me to not put the colorful words in it that I was going to use, and I kept it, kept it G. But I think I still have a hard time. I don't care if people mess with me. I care when people mess with others, like my friends, or those who are more vulnerable. Yeah. Especially online, like if someone people are just happy posting videos. If people start attacking them, especially if you go for looks, I'm like, who do you think you are? Oh my gosh. Who do you think you are? The nerve. My um, I keep quoting other people. Like, I don't know if it was my mom or someone, but it's like if you can't change it within five minutes, oh, I tell my kids this too. If someone can't change something within five minutes, don't say it to them. If someone has like a booger in their nose, you can be like, hey, you have a booger in your nose. But like you never comment, hey, your hair is ugly. You're like something they can't go get a haircut and fix that. Like, and they're not ugly, but like just saying, if they can't fix it, it's nothing you ever need to comment on. That's how God made them.

SPEAKER_00

1000%. And that's what we're supposed to be teaching our children. But I think when it goes back to what we were talking about, of the people just feel like they have the freedom to say, I mean, we do live in a free world, okay. Freedom of speech, we do have freedom of speech, yeah. But also I think we're losing the respect.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, and that and I think it's aspect of it. I go back to parents, and I can't blame the generation before us, but even now, like having worked with students, seeing like uh It starts from the home.

SPEAKER_00

It starts from the home. It starts from the home. And I think that is becoming more relevant. And where I attend church, that is what we um that's one of our platforms is that it starts in the house with the parents. It does. It starts with you.

SPEAKER_02

Yep. That's the first place we should be going when there's a problem. I remember with students, it's like you'd meet the parents after the student would have these behaviors.

SPEAKER_00

And you're like, oh, okay, now I understand.

SPEAKER_02

It's totally, it's like it tracks in in the most respectful way, like it tracks, especially these parents who defend their kids and the behaviors. It's like if you're going to and I've seen it firsthand, just even in adults, if you enable your child to act that way, if you enable anyone to act a certain way, they're gonna keep doing it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And it's like you said, you have to let your kids fail. My kids are gonna fail, they're gonna have consequences. Yeah, it's just part of life. Yeah, and I mean, we've we've been there. Oh, 1000%. I still have those days. Like, yeah, we all have consequences for our actions and how, even if it's not a physical, tangible consequence, like that's literally like the spirit of sin and and suffering. And like when we sin or fall short, God loves you, God forgives you. There are still consequences in life.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. And I mean, everything does happen for a reason because you could be in a situation and not understand why it's going on or why you made that decision, and then years down the road, you're like, oh, okay, now I understand why I did that. Or and then that's how God works. That's how the Holy Spirit works with you. I agree completely. Now you understand why things are the way.

SPEAKER_02

It all aligns at some point. Yeah. Maybe not right away, like you said, it all aligns at some point.

SPEAKER_00

So what do you do to keep the haters away?

SPEAKER_02

Keep the haters away. You know, I actually don't. I let them come and I I don't block people anymore. It's like, you know what, bring it on. And I don't um, I just don't, I don't know. People used to ask me a lot about that because I did get there have been different situations in general. I don't get a lot of hate anymore. Every now and then people will say like unnerving comments, and I'm like, ugh. But I I just I I'm really at a place now, like it doesn't bother me. Right. I used to be back and forth. I was a banter. I'd be like, well, let me show you what I can say. Like keyboard warrior. Oh my gosh. So recently so guilty of it.

SPEAKER_00

Um, yeah, I'm gonna talk about this. I don't care. So recently, one of my good friends sent me a screenshot of this Facebook post, and this girl that I used to be really good friends with, I mean, we've known each other since preschool. She is a miserable person. And she she posted something, and I'm like, what are you doing? We are 35 years old. Ridiculous. Do you not have I haven't spoken to you in years? Was it about you?

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Unreal.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, that's a fan behavior. Fan behavior. Not a hater, that's a fan.

SPEAKER_00

No, and I'm just like, and so my girlfriend screenshot to me. She goes, What the heck? And so I got on there and I clapped back and I was like, well, actually, I met this person in 2011 before Jameson's wasn't even a thing. It was like a bar or whatever. And everybody started liking it. And I was just like, I was like, even though I mean she literally started beep out of nowhere. Yeah. I was like, what? Like, do you get off on that? Like, what? Like, what do you do? What do you gain? You literally like that.

SPEAKER_02

That is a miserable person. That is such a miserable person.

SPEAKER_00

So now in my platform and be building this and me into the content world, I haven't had anything really happen yet. Um, I've had a couple of comments, but nothing major. But I'm like, wait. I'm waiting for like the shoe to drop. I'd be like, okay, how am I gonna handle that?

SPEAKER_02

I've had pieces of content-I've just blocked them. Yeah, block people, like block. I have had content, like I had posted several years ago that my ex-husband had um gotten my daughter all these gifts for Christmas. And I thought it was so cute. I found them in the closet and I was just a cute little video. The comments were so hateful and negative, like, oh, and this is one area where it wasn't the bare minimum. They were like, oh, celebrating the bare minimum, like the bars in hell. And I was like, it's not about that. Like, this was just a sweet thing. It was just crazy. But I think people interpret videos like I watch videos and I read the comments, I'm like, you guys missed the mark. Like, people just want to be negative.

SPEAKER_00

Be happy, people. Yeah. What is that song? Um, did you ever have like the flying fish on the wall? Like it pressed the button. No. Tell me about this. Okay, so my grandpa, he used to have this fish, this bass fish you get from like bass pro. Uh-huh. And every time you would walk by it, it would sing be happy.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Be happy. Oh my gosh, he just unlocked a memory.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm just like, what is that song? We need to bring the fish back. We need to bring the fish back. We need to bring the fish back. Everyone needs one in their house. It's our hiring. Be happy. Life is that. Send the fish to all your haters. Yes. And life isn't that serious. It's really not. It's really not. Like, why are we all up each other's butts? But no, like the haters. Like, let's get over it.

SPEAKER_02

No, I there's a lot of haters out there, and there's a lot of miserable people. I've learned too, like, when you think about who those people are, like, they could be like some old person in a basement, like living in their mom's basement still. Like, that's who we're dealing with. It's not worth your time, energy. Right. I would care if it was a friend. I I I I have bugged up. There's it been, they always say, and you might have felt like this like it's interesting how when you start a new endeavor, the people who support you. You get it! You get it too. And don't that's crazy to me. Started. And don't mishear me, because I have my loyal friends who are so supportive. But there's some shocked.

SPEAKER_00

I was shocked.

SPEAKER_02

And I would consider those people miserable people too, who are jealous.

SPEAKER_00

I'm not gonna go to that extent from for on my on my side, but I was just shocked that it's shocking.

SPEAKER_02

When strangers show up for you over the people who you're like, oh, they're gonna totally like support me. I'm baffled. It's astonishing. It's actually very eye-opening that I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00

No, it's a very eye-opening experience, and I think that's how I think that's why one of the reasons why the Lord put this on my heart was to show people's true colors. Because I've always been the person that's done everything for everyone, but nobody did everything, nobody does anything for me. And something that my cousin Tyler taught me a long time ago is if you are doing things and expecting it in return, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Right. So I learned that years ago. So growing up and getting more mature, I really have embraced that reality and that truth. And I think it's very important to um what is the word I'm looking for? To understand that because I do think people sometimes do give out of wanting something in return. Right.

SPEAKER_02

They have to give something in return.

SPEAKER_00

But it comes to a boundary of like, I'm done pouring all of this.

SPEAKER_02

It's fair to say that to you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Like I'm done pouring all of this into you if you're not gonna pour it all into me.

SPEAKER_02

You're not doing and I think it's different if like, like I see what you're saying. It's different. You're not expecting something in return, but for once you're like, I need my cup filled. You're not doing it with the intention that you'll get anything. But it would be nice to be thoughtful. I feel the same way, and I feel like that's something, yeah. Whenever you're always a person who would go above and beyond, and I've been in a season where I couldn't really do that as much, but I'm in that season right now, and everybody and it's crickets.

SPEAKER_00

It's crickets. I had to have a really hard conversation with one of my dear friends recently, and I was like, I cannot be the friend that you need me to be right now. And she looked at me and she goes, I don't know where you got this expectation that I need you to be that friend. And I was like, Oh, maybe I was putting that on myself.

SPEAKER_02

What you want from others you were saying.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and I looked at her and I was like, I love you, and I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02

Well, see, that's like the growing part of it though, is yeah, and we learn things about ourselves still, even in our 30s. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00

And I think I think people have a really hard time omitting that. Oh, yeah. So in the season of life that you are in right now, what have you learned the the most? Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_02

I'm learning a lot. I'm learning probably too much that my mind can't keep up with all of it, but I'm learning a lot about my value and who I want to be.

SPEAKER_00

Love that.

SPEAKER_02

And this is a crazy thing to say because God's plans supersede anything I want, but I'm learning like the life I want for myself and my kids like is attainable. Like anyone can like anything you want, like you can create that life. I want a peaceful life full of healing and joy, and I don't know the details of the rest of that, but like that's where my life is headed because of the choices I make every day. And I think that that's just that's on my mind every day. Like that's the number one thing I'm learning is like where do I want to be? And it is hard living in the future, saying, like, I want to be here, I want to be here. Like, I'm trying to enjoy the present, so I guess I'm learning that too.

SPEAKER_00

I love how you're I feel like you are in a transitional season, and that you are in a learning season.

SPEAKER_02

I am, and it's hard because I don't know what tomorrow holds. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, you don't have to know what's going to actually so much up in the air. My therapist told me that tomorrow is none of your business. I love that. And I was like, oh, okay, Tiffany, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02

I think letting God take care of it and knowing like he has he cares about me, and it's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00

So my journey and where I'm at is that it's kind of crazy to sit here and think about it, is that I I'm at complete peace. Yeah. God is in control. I I I do not care.

SPEAKER_02

And I think that's how he designed it to be. Like to just trust, like, there was a time I was frantic. And the thought of divorce, I was like, uh absolutely not, like, I can't do it. Like I can't face that, like, there's no future for me if I do that. And I'm at a point now, like you said, where there's just, I wouldn't call it perfect peace, but like there's so much peace knowing like I'm making the right decision and it's going to be what's best for me and my kids. Don't get me wrong. Uh just like you said earlier, there's like a magnet sometimes pulling you back because it's familiar and you want to stay in what's familiar. It's so hard to break toxic cycles.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so we're gonna play a little. Gang called Rapid Fire. Oh. Okay. I gotta be careful because I energy fast. Copy or energy drink. Oh, right now energy drink. Morning chaos or bedtime chaos. Morning chaos. I'm the same. Post it or delete it. Post it. Always. Favorite mom hack.

SPEAKER_02

Uh no hack. Wing it. Not kidding. I always think that I'm like, whatever you do that works for you, do it.

SPEAKER_00

Um one word for this season of life that you're in. Healing. Mom, you are in a healing journey. I mean, it has its moments, but yeah. You are on a healing journey. I am. If you could describe what beautiful chaos meant to you, what would that be?

SPEAKER_02

Even in the thickest of craziest, most chaotic days, there is still something to be grateful for because it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. And that is something that I truly believe in. Chaos isn't failure. Yeah. Chaos is something is happening. Life is happening. You are feeling something. You are embracing something. Absolutely. And that was the point of Beautiful Chaos and why I wanted to do this. 100%. Was so all of us moms, all of us women, even the men, even the men, could feel heard, understood, talk about topics where that aren't really talked about, that aren't really um comfortable to talk about. And I am so proud of you for coming on today and just sharing your heart in the regards of being an influencer and a content creator, also going through a divorce with four kids, having to start all over again, and not knowing what's gonna happen tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02

Well, thank you. I'm happy to be here. And it was actually very good for my heart to be able to share. So thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, I just adore you.

SPEAKER_02

I adore you. Everyone needs to follow beautiful chaos. I'm serious. Oh, you're genuine, and you're great at this.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. I truly appreciate it. I really hope I am just touching one person's life and doing this. And um, I'm just so grateful for every single one of you, and I cannot wait for what's coming next. And I will go ahead and announce season two is coming. It is going to be really special, so stay tuned. And this was the beautiful chaos with Natasha, and I'll see you guys next season. Can't wait for season two. Season two.

SPEAKER_02

Congratulations.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02

You did it.

SPEAKER_00

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