(EN) Your reconnection toolkit with Maikel Bailey

In this BrightBond episode, Patrick Duriaux welcomes Maikel Bailey, certified Master Intelligent Executive Coach, leadership development expert, and mindset specialist, for a practical and hopeful conversation about rebuilding real human connection.

Together, they explore why reconnection does not need to start with a big gesture, but often begins with one small, brave action. Maikel shares insights on how people can move from “I don’t have time” to “I can do one small thing,” and why being social is not the same as feeling truly connected.

This conversation offers practical ideas for deepening relationships beyond small talk, building stronger connections across generations, and creating habits that bring more presence, trust, and meaning into everyday life.

You will hear reflections on:

• The difference between being social and feeling connected
 • The first hopeful signs that reconnection is possible
 • Small brave actions that can rebuild relationships
 • A gentle 7-day plan to start creating more connection
 • How different generations can meet each other with curiosity
 • A simple weekly habit that builds connection like compound interest

If you are looking for practical ways to reconnect at home, at work, or in your community, this episode offers your reconnection toolkit.

Contact: BrightBond@alto.cool

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BrightBondOfficial

Maikel Bailey

https://maikelbailey.com/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

A warm welcome to Brightbond, the podcast about real human connection across generation cultures and everyday life. I'm Patrick Duriot, and here we share a real conversation that leaves you with practical ideas to create more connection at home, at work, and in your community. Today's podcast is about the theme your reconnection toolkit. Or in other words, what type of tool, tips, tricks that we can get to reconnect with other human beings. And to have this great topic and to speak about this great topic, I'm honored today to be joined by Michael Bailey. He's a certified master intelligent executive coach, leadership development expert, mindset expert, and someone who spent decades helping leaders build stronger relationships, better cultures, and more authentic presence. Michael has over 30 years of coaching experience. So we are lucky to have such an expert, such a great human being in our podcast. Michael, it's great to have you here, and welcome to Brightbone.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

Ah, Patrick, thank you so much. It's an honor. I'm going to enjoy this time that we have together with you and your podcast followers.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Okay, wonderful. Um, I usually like to uh start on a positive note, but I always start as well with warm-up questions. So, my first two questions for you, if I may ask you, how old are you today and where are you based?

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Well, today I am 74 years old as well. I am in the United States. I live in the state of Utah. I live in a city just north of Salt Lake City called Bountiful.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

All right, that's great. So Utah, great region, a lot of nature, beautiful nature, a lot of mountains over there. So it's a great region.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Ah, thank you. It is. It is a lovely area to live in, it really is.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Wonderful. That's great. Also, I'd like to always uh start the podcast on a positive note and finish on a positive note as well. So I always ask my guests, what gives you positive energy at the moment, Michael? If you can share that with us.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

That's a great question. It's it's it's a bit of a moving ball. Uh depends on the moment, the place, the time. It's it's not one particular thing. Sometimes it's just jumping into something, getting something started. That's a great place. Sometimes it is uh slowing down and uh listening to other people and hearing what's going on with them, just kind of to start taking in with their the vibe of the uh the atmosphere that they're bringing. Other times it's just slowing down myself and just simply saying, let's tune into what's going on here and let's get rid of anything that um might be getting in my way. Sometimes we just pick up stuff uh unwittingly or unknowingly that just uh it's kind of like barnacles on a ship, you might say, that we need to take time just to scrape off and be free of so that's easier for us to float and sail forward. So it's uh I think a lot of it's just kind of awareness of self and other people in the situation. So uh, but the I think the main thing is this. Here's the main thing if I were to distill it down. Believe. Believe that you can take any moment and make it better if that's what you want to do.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Great. That's a great philosophy as well. It's almost a philosophical line uh for life. It's amazing. Great uh to hear that from you side. Uh, we spoke a bit about uh human connection. We we worked quite a bit together already with Michael. Um I I would say that Michael has a gift. I think he has a gift as an executive coach to always ask the right question, the deep questions who really sometimes pick your brain big time, but at the right time. So it makes people ready and he knows when people are ready to go deep. And I think it's something not easy to do as an executive coach, and I think it's a real, real talent. And I'm happy to uh speak with uh Michael about the human connection. Sometimes we speak about feeling maybe disconnected as well. And I wanted to ask you, Michael, with your depths of expertise as a human being, as a coach, as an executive coach. Um, what would you say is maybe the first uh change that maybe people can do um if they feel disconnected?

SPEAKER_03 4:51

Oh, that's a great, great question because it has so many vicissitudes that you could pursue. Um indulge me for a moment. I've got a friend that I've known for 40 years. And uh I admire him greatly. Uh is a wonderful friend in so many ways. I felt such a great connection with him, and uh he got himself into some trouble, uh broke my heart. Um he uh ended up in in prison for a number of years. Um and after I found this out, he'd been in prison for a while and um and I wanted to write him. And uh this is one of those moments which you're kind of talking about, this is kind of difficult kind of a thing. Um, but I've not known quite how to get that conversation going just through letters, just through letters, and I've been pondering this because uh it was a kind of complicated relationship. And um I think the way to begin that is perhaps really simple. And it is with an attitude of goodwill. Just an attitude of goodwill. I wish you well, I hope things go well for you. Uh it's a lack of animosity, it's a lack of judgment, it's a lack of any kind of contention or adversarial positions of shaming. It's just a feeling of I hope you are doing good, and I'm here to bring you more goodwill. I have nothing to bring to you but my good, my love, my care for you. And as and I think it's this approach that is both positive, affirming, and yet soft. It's a soft approach because we don't really know what we're stepping into or how they're gonna be. But if we come with that positive, affirming and softness, no matter where they go, we can't go wrong. Because we can keep that kind of mindset of whatever you say, what do you do, whatever's going on here? I am just gonna be that person that it's okay with. Even if you turn it on me, I am going to be okay because I know how to take care of myself. So yeah, what's what's happening? How are you doing these days?

SPEAKER_00 7:13

That's amazing. And thanks for sharing that uh personal story of yours. And he feels that you're really coming from a good place with good intention. So it's a beautiful tip, I think, for all the listeners as well. Uh, coming with a good intention and from a good place, it's a it's a nice tip to uh reconnect maybe with some people, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think it's also, I would say brave from your side. And that's uh also something we talk quite a bit uh also in uh executive coaching or leadership, we speak about to be brave. What does it mean to be a brave leader or do leadership with bravery? Um, I wanted to ask you in that standpoint on this word brave, what does it mean? You think you um I'm speaking about you as a human being and also as a coach, and you coach a lot of leaders around the world. If you would say, you know, a small brave action that people could start to connect or reconnect with people, what what would be your definition of being brave in that standpoint?

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Well, uh for my last response there, I think it's uh that's a little bit like that. There's a difference, I think, between being brave and being courageous. Uh, I think courage courage is has a certain kind of mental clarity and conviction about it, that yeah, I know what I'm doing, and I I'm gonna go do this thing, and uh I've got a strong sense of inner strength, inner courage, inner uh determination about that kind of a thing, you know, that I and I know what it is I'm doing, where I'm gonna be uh going and what's ahead. Whereas Brave, I think it is um it's it's a it's a combination of curious curiosity and duty and a willingness to say, I don't know what's going to happen. And to the best of my ability, I'm willing to take on whatever comes my way. So it's this sense of self-trust. I think there's a sense of self-trust. So if you were wanting to connect with somebody or reconnect with somebody, this idea of I'm not sure, uh, I'm not going to judge it. I'm going to be very open-minded about it. And so I'm willing to take a risk out of the curiosity to just see what happens and trust myself that I'll be able to figure it out, maybe not that moment, maybe I'll come back. But it begins with, I think, bravery begins with self-trust. I believe in myself enough that I'm willing to take this step into the unknown.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

That's a very interesting uh concept that you just mentioned about being curious as well. And uh, as you say, there's probably sometimes a lot of uncertainty, and we don't know where we left maybe the relationship with someone. And you you linked brave as well. Uh, and I wanted to ask you, can you would you link brave actually being with being curious? Or how would you link brave and being curious together?

SPEAKER_03 10:18

I do, I do, I do connect them. And I think there's another attitude about that that can be uh stress-relieving if we're willing to take this on. And that is to make the endeavor fun. If we can add that sense of fun to it or play, that also sucks out a lot of the anxiety and the and the worry and the fear of failure and the fear of you know not doing it exactly right. So if you go with an attitude of fun and play, curiosity and uh bravery just going for it, I think that can divest a lot of the negative that otherwise would hold us back. And so, with that, that kind of mindset, what we're doing at that point is we can't necessarily always make situations, the situation itself safe. Right? We can't make it secure that we that it's safe to go into, it's also secure that it continues to be a good place. So we've got to do that internal environment conditioning for ourselves. And if we can learn how to do that internally for ourselves, then just about wherever it is you want to go, you know, you can decide to go and get there and make those connections. If if you'll make it safe for yourself in terms of bravery, fun, curiosity, and let's just see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

I like this positive angle you just took with being having fun, and that's very important as well. Uh who doesn't like to have fun? Everyone likes to have fun. So I think it's a very good angle as well. And uh curiosity and bravery as well. I think it's a great connection together, the two uh the two aspects of being brave. I really like that very much. You also, Michael, you also spoke about mindset. And uh, I know you're an expert as you know, mindset readers and how to change the mindset of people. Um, I hear, and I'm sure you heard that a lot of time when people say, I don't have the time, I've got too much to do, I cannot do this, I cannot do that. When it comes to a human relationship and human connection, uh, how would you help someone when we speak about human connection or reconnecting, moving from I don't have the time to maybe I can do one small thing? How would you help them approach them? What would be your tip about that?

SPEAKER_03 12:45

Well, I think that begins also with curiosity. Um I don't have the time. Well, um, okay, I can understand that you're busy, we're all busy, we all have a lot of things going on. I've always talked about when you get involved with the coach, you feel like your life is already a glass that's already full. It's not only full, but it's filled up to the top, and there's that water tension that's above the lip, you know, so it's actually above the lip of the glass. Here comes the coach with a carafe of water, just dumping it all in, you know, it's all over everywhere. You thought you were busy before. Um, and and the truth of the matter is, we all know this, if it's important, we'll make time for it. So it's not a matter I don't have time, I've just not made it important in my life. And so um we are so driven by uh in this society uh the dopamine hits. What's next? What's next? What's next? What's next? What's next? Uh and there's a lot of joy, I suppose, in that, but it also can become a treadmill that just wears us down or wears us out. And uh but it's rewarded. That's the strange thing. The dopamine hit is rewarded throughout our society again and again, whether it's in you know, business, professional, even in uh relationships, uh, even in social situations. You know, it's interesting to go to social situations and people are telling you all about their recent dopamine hits. You know, after a while it gets to be a bit of a yawn. Um, but there's not necessarily a lot of reward from uh society about the oxytocin hits, the connection with other people. That's not something that's often outwardly rewarded and celebrated. And so um a person is just too busy uh to do that and slow down and make connections with other people. The only thing that you could probably start getting them to be curious about is perhaps ask them a question. Let me ask you, you sound like you're a very successful person or you're a very busy person anyway. You got a lot going on. How are you feeling? What's your level of just plain old happiness and satisfaction? Could there be more of that? Yeah, you're you're accomplished, you got your to-do list and all those kinds of things. Do you ever feel like there's something that's missing? And the truth of the matter is whether or not they tell the truth, you know, and you never know what that's gonna be like, you know. But the truth of the matter is that what makes the biggest turn on for people is other people. Now, people can be burned and upset and have bad experiences. Yet the truth of the matter is if you get a dog that's sick or it's kind of mentally ill, the best thing you can do is put that dog in with other dogs, and the other dogs will help that dog heal. They'll just teach you to here's the boundaries, if this is how we work, and if you get out of line, we're not gonna beat you up and kill you. We'll give you a little snip or a little push with our nose, or we will do things to help you become healthy and balanced again. That's what dogs do. And so for people, we we look to be around almost always, there's some people that aren't this way, almost always to be around other people who are healthy. Because the healthy people will give us okay signals about being healthy, or that's probably not a good idea, you ought to rethink that or pull that back, or there's all sorts of signals that we can give each other. So, in terms of if you're if a person is saying, Yeah, I am busy, is there anything missing? If they were to look at not in terms of what they're doing, if they would look at terms that in terms of who are they associating with, are the people that are in your life, are they helping you to be happy? Are they helping you to be fulfilled? Are they helping you to feel accepted and worthwhile? Are they helping you to feel that you are a person that matters? Get them to start slowing down about that stuff. Those are harder questions to answer, but they're also very thought-provoking about, you know, everybody I know is it going after the same bone, or we got to get a bigger bone, or whatever it may be. But I don't know anybody that's necessarily happy.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Yeah, it's a great uh insight here, Michael. I really like this question of uh asking ourselves, am I missing something? It's a very deep question if you really think about it and you take the time, take the step back to think about what I am missing here. Um I also wanted to uh ask you your point of view, because again, as you said, we go to a lot of social events, maybe, or we say it's I'm sociable, I'm a I'm a sociable person. And I wanted to ask you what is for you the difference uh between being social and feeling truly connected with people? Because there is a difference and there is something missing between being social and being truly connected. So, what would be your definition of the difference between the two, being social and feeling truly connected with with people?

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Well, if you're gonna get a chance to go somewhere with a crowd of people, and you know those people. I had this experience just yesterday, uh going to my church. There's a lot of people there that I like and I can I can socialize with and I can kind of visit with. And then there are those people that I really feel a connection to. And when I feel that connection to, I'm liable to slow down, kibbitz with them a little bit, see how they're doing, you know, check with them and their family and that kind of stuff. Uh, it's there's that that kind of flow that happens when you're really in that connection. And and in that connection, there's great fulfillment. I think that's probably the word fulfillment in those connected relationships. Or the whereas the other one, you know, the social ones, uh, you know, they can be fun and satisfying and they're kind of passing. Uh and that's good. I think it's good to have those kind of contacts as well, those just touch points along the way. Uh, however, if that's all they are and you don't have those deeper kinds of connections, it it feels like it feels like it can be empty. It feels like it's empty for you. I'm just going through the motions. However, if you have the deep connections and then you're going through the social movement, the social bumping elbows and that kind of stuff, the deeper connections enhance the social connections. Whereas the social connections can only enhance so much. There's they're they're not deep water stuff. So you need the both. You need the deep as well as the other. And that keeps a kind of a balance. It also gives you an opportunity to get to know new people. I was listening to a fellow talk this same group the other day. He said, Man, if I had to get out there and get to know everybody in our church, that'd be so a burden to get all those people and to talk to those people. And I thought, I felt just the opposite. I'd be excited, I'd be curious. I'd I'd be excited to talk to each of these people for 15 or 20 minutes just to get to know them, to find out who they are, find out about their families. I found that completely enlivening. I didn't find it to be a burden. And so again, there's this, it's it's an attitude thing about um, I suppose it's a if I were to look at it in a deeper way, let's take it a little simple, deeper way. Are you a person that is carrying burdens and darkness, or are you a person who is carrying responsibility and light? Okay. And if you're if you're carrying a lot of burdens and you feel like there's just a lot of weight on you, you got to go find some people to help you feel lighter, to help you feel accepted, to help you feel like you matter, that you you're important. You need to get that out there and get yourself out there and get those things going. And it's gonna be difficult because if the reason you got the burdens and the heaviness and all stuff is because of past relationships. Yeah. No, yeah. So, what on your part do you need to do in terms of your own mindset of change and simply say, what am I gonna do to change from the darkness, the burdens, the past, and all that stuff, and learn how to lighten up. And I'm gonna tell you one thing. It's really simple. It's really simple. It sounds so hard when you're in the dark place, but it's just a decision. Decide to lighten up. Just decide and start practicing light, being lightened up or just to be lighter about things. So part of that is we have more control over these things than you might think. And also the other part of it is we can influence a lot of people. Not everyone, but a lot.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Um interesting and deep topic uh that you just mentioned, also for people who maybe are facing adversity in life. Uh, as you say, it's a decision sometimes to also connect with the right people, and sometimes not so easy to see who are the right people. But uh yeah, when you have people have uh positive energy around you, they would probably bring you more light, as you mentioned, to uh use the same terminology as you than. uh keeping you at the same level if you're not in the right place. So that's quite interesting. You also spoke um and again I think it's uh the being social we've always been uh we've all been in coffee machines that's where we do the chat uh small chat coffee chat um and I think uh you mentioned a few times during our conversation the word curiosity and that's an interesting one would you say that um the difference between chip chat coffee chats and as we said something more meaningful connection would you say curiosity is the thing which differs between chip chat coffee chat and and going deeper in connecting with people or what would you say or is something else?

SPEAKER_03 22:44

I'd say that yes and I'd also say the ability to acknowledge or to see other people is a big deal just to be able to see them. I was talking to a fellow we're waiting in line to get like a breakfast or a picnic or something out of a thing. And uh this one fellow he's very affable he's very smart and um very socially conscious and all that kind of stuff and I thought um I'll engage him in a little chit chat here and see where it goes. And uh I noticed that when I started making observations about gee she seemed like a really smart individual and this and this and that was really I he I got the exact opposite of what I expected. Instead of saying oh thank you so much and open that open it up I noticed he shut down why he shut down I don't know but he just shut down so I thought ah this is not a safe conversation with for him uh with me anyway so I recognized at that point this is a fellow that I can keep on that superficial level of just being you know positive and you know happy but probably not a guy that's going to want to go deep for whatever reason. And I respect that. I respect that I respect the depth that he's wanting to go to so learning how to test you know where a person is at and see how they respond uh some people will open up easily and quickly and happily other people are more guarded. We talked about that before that it's kind of a natural thing for people to be suspicious about relationships because of their past. And other people are going to pretty much draw a pretty strong curtain or even a wall you know they don't want you to get any closer they don't want to draw you any closer.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

So you know part of that is knowing uh what signals you're picking up and what to do with those signals and by good grief of all things don't ever ever take it personally don't ever take it personally because you just don't know where the person's coming from they have no idea just say they're just they just happen to be in that space and wish them well goodwill right yeah yeah that makes sense I think you're you're right to say curiosity is a good thing but you have to pick up the signal as you said and uh be respectful if people don't want to open up for XYZ reason whatever the mat the reason is and uh and respect that and wish them good uh good things so that's a a good point uh about curiosity uh to also keep the fine line of not pushing too much when people are not ready to open up so it's uh also very important I think uh in a relationship that's interesting yeah absolutely uh also on a personal level I wanted to uh ask you um a question you know I'm a bit passionate about uh cross-generation or interaction between different generations I was like that I uh practice that at work and also in a private level I did some research around that topic uh what would be maybe one thing each generation and we speak about curiosity what would you say what kind of curiosity generation could do to meet each other so what would be the curiosity from a younger standpoint to a senior or senior to a younger person what's what kind of curiosity they could have for each other whatever the the generation is but if there's a different generation I I'm gonna start with the the older generation the older generation has been through a lot they know a lot they've experienced a lot and um they've had hard lessons difficult lessons and great experiences and so oftentimes they want to start telling and preaching that's the last thing you should do the the older generation need to you need to watch more you need to listen more you need to observe more what's going on about who these people are you're talking to these younger generations and if you're willing to just settle down and be patient not judge not expect it's your duty to straighten them out or to get them fixed or that kind of stuff um when you do that you start to recognize that the generations not uh are are are obviously different but their perspectives are very very very different there's a book out called the way you the way you are it's a marvelous book uh I'd recommend people to to pick that up um Ofra wind winfrey and an another social scientist wrote uh it's a marvelous book and the truth of the matter is our ability to truly understand somebody else is so small it really is very minuscule and so the best thing we could do is do our best to understand that more importantly learn to accept people you know just where they are where they're coming from uh when you're in that middle age area you've got a lot to say you got your lives are busy you're very active and so you're on the go and so you're in the mojo of you know I'm making I'm in the mojo of you know making things happening so that's uh that's a great place to be at um when you're younger it's more like it's all new it's all different you're experiencing things a lot of enthusiasm the hormones are just busting loose all over the place and so uh that expression of discovering who you are is also a different than when you're older or middle aged so curiosity I and it's a very hard thing to do I think is to realize that there is something out there more than you and that something more is different than you and it is not all about you or it's not all about me.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

If we can start getting that perspective of actually seeing the other people and listening to them and um just catching what what it is that's going on with them they they will feel I'm telling you people feel uh when you really are observing and listening and not judging but just accepting they they it's a it's a it's a visceral thing it's a primitive brain thing just as the same way they'll catch you if you're judging them or shaming them or somehow you know putting them down in even micro ways microaggressive ways um people are a lot smarter than than we give them credit for but they're also in a lot of ways more hungry for connection than they would ever let you on let you on to know so that's kind of the thing to realize that people are not in that great a shape. They're hungry for connection but they're also hungry for the right kind of connection.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Yeah that's a good good point the right kind of connection uh you need to analyze that and understand what's what's is unique in the connection standpoint that's a very uh very important uh way to look at it uh my my next question is actually linked to that and uh I think it's a tricky question I I know you sort of being in a good way and it's a compliment asking in coaching sometimes some difficult questions and that's really revealing you know and picking the brain big time out of people. The next question personally I would not know how to answer it because I think um there's no one recipe it really depends but if you would think about someone who has very little connection maybe close to zero connection what would be um what's would be the seven day gentle plan to build connection if you had to give a kind of an advice to that person who has a not much connection what would you give them advice to do as a little plan?

SPEAKER_03 30:42

So the person you're connecting to has like a zero connection or something okay that's right yeah okay so um you want to connect with somebody that seems to be fairly isolated or alienated or just not connected right yeah that's right okay here's a little trick you talked about tricks tips kind of thing um in your imagination see this individual see them standing them uh there before you and uh see them smiling at you and you're smiling back at them and even engage in a low level kind of imaginary conversation with them how are you what are you doing how are things going for you just having that low level connection in your own mind about who they are and do that every day um over a period of week or two weeks maybe in three weeks and do not be surprised if you after doing that for a period of time if they come up to you and say um why do you seem familiar to me? Or do I know you or um these I I don't know maybe why I'm talking to you but I just feel like it you'd be okay to talk to for some reason. I felt like I just wanted to go and talk to you. What you've done here is in your mind is you've created a friend relationship in your own mind towards this person. Right? So you're kind of setting the table here and in setting the table like that and doing that when you see that person your brain now reacts to them as if they were a friend so you said I start sending out these little micro messages in terms of how you look at them the face your facial expression your smile the the the the the way your eyes are the attention the way your head turns you've already trained yourself to be that person's friend internally you've created that inner reality they in turn they will pick that up they will see that you're doing these things that they can't necessarily see or understand consciously but there's something that's going on with you that you're sending out these friend signals to them they they feel that the way your body's relaxed just all the stuff will start they'll just start noticing you will appear to them to be a friend that you're a friendly person. So that's something that you can do on your own in terms of just the internal stuff the internal stuff the other thing is is if what what people are looking for um in terms of safety safety security a sense of belonging um that they matter that they're important all those kinds of things they're looking for certain kinds of behaviors um the FBI has kind of gone down to these four things frequency the more frequent you can be around that person doesn't mean you're talking to them but just the frequency of being around them. The other one is proximity how close you can be to them doesn't mean you're gonna like nuzzle up onto them but you're not far away on the other side of the office but you're closer to them. So the frequency the proximity uh also the intensity you know what's going on intensity doesn't mean like it's angry but it there's a sense of uh fun or there's a sense of involvement there's a sense of a sense of something going on it's just not you know placid you know zero level emotion but there's there's something going on that we we like that's why we like uh mysteries that's why we like uh shoot them up for superheroes there's the intensity that we're drawn to and then the other thing is duration how often when you're there how long can you be there with them so those are the kinds of things that we look for in terms of just human beings and being a human being so if you want to do that uh create a friendship look at those four aspects and then learn to do that consistently it's literally this little formula I gave you here is literally is how they turn spies that come to spy against us to now working for us. These are the friend signals these are the like signals that if you do these things now of course you could use them manipulatively like some sort of crazed narcissist and destroy people or you can just be one of those good people out that that does this with goodwill and good intentions and you know creating more relationships and more friendships of that make a difference. So those are the kinds of things you take a look at things you want to do simple things. If you want to be just really simple about it just really simple just the universal friend signal is a smile.

SPEAKER_00 35:50

I mean there are great tips so again uh you went really deep with a lot of great advice and I really like the what you just said about using imagination or your imagination uh your self projection being successful at connecting with people all that is very uh I think very useful very deep and I think a lot of listeners will probably be able to to relate to that so uh that's a quite amazing tip uh and that's very uh well thought and a seven days gentle plan I think uh uh it probably needs more than seven days but that's a really great uh lot of uh content and deep content uh from your side Michael so thank you so much for that thank you last question which is also linked with tip and tricks that's what I like to ask my guest as a last question is the bright bone tip or an advice that you could give to the listeners something simple that they can apply maybe next week to connect with people what would you give them as a bright bone tip I would say this um change one thing in yourself and the one thing you can change in yourself is to learn how to be kind to yourself be kind to yourself um whatever is going inside of a person we only see like 10% of what's going on it's like the tip of the iceberg so if they're being cruel or they're being mean or angry or whatever negative things you're just seeing you're just seeing the tip of it.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

What they what they're doing inside to themselves is much, much worse worse. Conversely if you see somebody who's being kind and thoughtful and uh uh amiable and uh amicable and all those kinds of things that they've got a certain sense of you know of being good inside of themselves good and kind um they understand it sometimes we struggle doing it consistently but if you want to um create relationships with reduced contention and conflict and unnecessary competition begin by being kind to yourself understand yourself forgive yourself take yourself off the hook that doesn't mean don't be responsible but you don't have to castigate yourself or beat yourself up or call yourself names or um any of that kind of stuff. Learn to stop doing that. And and they can those can be deep habits. And I remember talking to one woman say so why I said why why why do you yell at yourself and say names, call yourself names and she said well I I feel like I deserve it. You know I made a mistake and so I deserve it. And I just advised her that's just silly nobody deserves that. That's just something that you picked up you know that's just that's a terrible limiting belief you're you don't see yourself for who you really are. Just let it go. So be kind the kinder you are to yourself the more accepting you are of yourself um that will that will come emanate from you and you will you will naturally then do that to other people as well. And if you're doing it now if you're already being kind to other spirit other people but you're not to yourself then say well if I do it for others why wouldn't I do it for me?

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Yeah it's a very valid point very valid point. Thank you so much for that tip. It's uh actually again very deep tip in a sense that uh it's a lot of self-reflection here but being kind to ourselves can very much help us connect with other people that's a very good good tip uh to be kind to ourselves wonderful that's really great Michael I'd like to to thank you so much for sharing all your expertise with us. This conversation was packed with uh deep knowledge deep advice a lot of tips and tricks clarity as well I think you are very uh clear in everything you said and I think you really gonna help a lot of listeners who can relate to all your your tips. I would just want to summarize quickly uh the the brought the podcast today um I think one of the things about reconnecting um sometimes is to start with being a brave and being brave could be also starting with a little step. You don't need to start big you don't need to start with climbing the Kilimanjaro sometimes being brave is also starting with a little step to connect with people. We spoke about time as well we're all busy we all say we don't have time I think Michael was very articulate to say that it's also a question of choice and priorities and importance rather than time and that's for us to self-reflect about that. And repeating actions as well that was also your your point last point you mentioned very useful to repeat best habits, to self-reflect to be kind to ourselves can help also to connect with people and safety and presence with other people being coming and that I really appreciate it as again your example uh with your real life example to come from a good place to try to show the others that you are kind, that you want them to do well. It's a very good I think uh habit to connect with people. Michael did I forget anything in my summary is there anything else you'd like to add you did a marvelous job Patrick thank you so much appreciate your time no thank you that you're doing here you're doing great work here so thank you. No thanks for uh being for taking the time speaking of the time to be part of the Brightbund podcast it was great to have you here great to have your uh tip and to have your knowledge with us today. I would say for the listeners if you like this episode if you found it inspirational or if you think he helped you he might help other people so don't hesitate to pass it on share this podcast is about sharing knowledge. I think you understood that and I would like to thank you too for being here. My question for you is what is the small action step you're going to take next week I think Michael already gave us a good tip good action plan we can take. I would like to thank you to say take good care of yourself. It's very important be kind to yourself stay connected and I see you next time on Brightbond bye for now and thank you Michael bye Michael