Social Media is Fake

Social media practically runs the world—it’s how we connect with friends, stay politically aware, and sometimes even feel like we’re living on the same level as celebrities. But where’s the line between connection and being too parasocial? too aware? How do you differentiate between what's real and whose fake? How should women be navigating the internet? And is criticism ever helpful if it comes without guidance for growth? Alyse dives into it all in Episode 13: Social Media is Fake.

Transcript

Speaker 0:06

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Go Get Hers. I want to start this episode out by giving a moment of silence for our good sister, Megan thee Stallion. You know, I hate to say, I hate to say that I saw it coming because I didn't. I'm gonna say this. I didn't see it coming. But one thing that I know is that where a man can find the audacity, he'll find it. And I think for me, what what makes this not surprising is the fact that he's an athlete. Like to me, athlete equates to cheating. You remember my mom said, oh, I could pull Michael B. Jordan, she's like delusional. I went off principle because I just don't think people that are in the spotlight, especially men, are able to handle the women that are getting thrown at them. And I think I'm a great girl, right? Like, I think I'm cool, I think I'm smart, I think I'm funny, I think I have good music taste. Like I could list a whole bunch of things that I think about myself. But that's not enough. Because where there is a will, there is a way. And it doesn't matter how much you do for a man, they're gonna cheat. They're gonna cheat. And they're gonna go to the press and they're gonna talk to you, say that they never liked you, they're not gonna commit to you, they're gonna string you along. Like, there's really nothing that you can really do to stop that. And that is like, and if, and if you have a good man that doesn't do that, like round of applause. Like, we all are envious of you. But that is really the gist of it. Like, men will cheat at the end of the day, and women will too, whatever. But men will cheat. And uh, you know, okay, but if you are like, what are you talking about? Megan the Stallion and Clay Thompson have been for what, like a year? And everyone thought that they were gonna be like going to the sunset, she was gonna be wife down, like engaged, and they were gonna live happily ever after. I also think Dennis Sierra and them or someone like hooked them up. Anyways, they are no longer. She posted on her Instagram story yesterday that he cheated on her and actually said this for betum cheating, have me around your whole family playing house, got cold feet, holding you down through all your horrible and horribles in all caps, move swings and treatment towards me during your basketball season. Now you don't know if you can be monogamous. Question mark, question mark, question mark. Uh, I need a real break after this one. Bye, y'all. And that is just again, I never saw it coming. Um, I mean, mind you too, like she threw a birthday party, they bought a house together. He named her boat, his boat after her. Um, he bought her a car for her 31st birth birthday, um, a baby blue Bentley for her 31st birthday is really what the picture is on this page six article. Um, she cooked him his whole family Thanksgiving. Like, it's giving monogamous and it's giving relationship. So, in what world could that be misconstrued that that wasn't the case to have her feeling confused and bamboozled for this? Also, too, they were public about their relationship. I'm not even gonna put it all on him because it's not all on him, because if you're the bitch that's cheating with Clay Thompson that's dating Meg the Stallion, why would you do that? You know, why why would you do that? And again, it's it's surprising to me. I mean, I don't know anything about Clay Thompson. I don't know anything about his stats. I don't know, and I don't care about his stats. One thing about me, I don't care about a man's accomplishment if they're a shitty human being. You can have all the money, all the glitz glamour. You can have saved a child dying from cancer. That doesn't negate the fact that you're a terrible human being and you're an asshole for me. Like that the one doesn't outshine the other. So, but he was like just seemed very like nice and quiet, and it felt like she brought out the silly side of him, and you know, I'm just I'm just appalled. But between Meg The Stallion and Wes Wilson, I mean, I just I'm at a loss for words, guys. I really, really am. I uh every week it's something with this with this damn summer house thing, and I and I wish I didn't have to talk about it, and I wish this wasn't a common um theme on the podcast, but like it has to be addressed, and I have to give my two cents. So on Summerhouse now for the reunion, everyone was anticipating the reunion, anticipating the reunion, anticipating the reunion. And their audio clip of the reunion leaked. And what had happened and what was said was that Amanda, the girl who betrayed her best friend and is dating her ex, doubled down, had no remorse, um, tried to say, like, just because I, you know, just because I'm not I'm separated, not divorced, like I'm supposed to be celibate and single for the rest of my life. No one said that. You lazy. I'm trying, I'm trying so hard not to be not to not to go there. No one said that. Okay. No one said you had to do that. Sierra was like, you could have picked literally anyone else in New York, literally anyone else in the world. You chose him. Then Amanda came back and said, You can't help who you like and who you fall for. Sierra said, Yes, you can. To which then Amanda said, according to you know you can't. And that is where Amanda Batullah needs her motherfucking ass beat. She needs to get pounded to the ground. She needs to actually get beat up because the context behind her saying that Sierra said that was the fact that Sierra said that as it pertains to liking someone outside of your race. So to then spin that around and say that to her, that that's what she said, to try to make it seem like it's okay that you're dating your best friend's act is diabolical. And you deserve to get like, like I said, people have gotten their ass beat for less. Okay. I'm not a physical violence person. I actually, you know, I'm saying this with a grain of salt, but to to weaponize that against her is insane, insane, insane, insane behavior. And she actually needs to crawl, she needs to dig a hole and put herself in it. Mia, one of the girls on the show, she told Amanda she was like, You went from being married to one of Wes's side bitches. Like, this is unnecessary. Like, why are you doing this? And that is perfectly sums up, sums it up. Why are you doing this? Like, out of all the people, why are you doing this? You think this guy is worth losing all your friends over? But I I said it. She's always gonna choose the guy. She's always gonna choose the guy. Always, always, always will choose the guy, and that is always gonna be Amanda's downfall. And my and mind you, Kyle looking good and fresh as ever. That man does not age. I actually love Kyle, but you know what? I also saw someone, Sierra's better than me. Okay. Sierra is better than me. I would have been, been, did my big one. I would have been married to Kyle, which is Amanda's ex-husband. I would have been married to him. We would have been bought a house, we would have been doing collabs as a DJ. We would have, matter of fact, he would have retired from DJing because she always wanted him to. He would have retired from DJ and said, Oh, I want to focus on my relationship with my wife and having kids. I would have been pregnant by him. I would have pulled a Lindsay Hubbard. I would have shown up to the reunion eight weeks pregnant with his baby. Okay. I Sierra Miller is better than me. She threw a drink at Danielle for less. So I and then people I'm sure criticized her. I wasn't watching the show when that was live. But if she did it now, I'm sure everyone would be on her side and would have truly nothing bad to say, especially me. And if they do, whatever. Who cares, dude? She needs it. Amanda needs her ass beat at this point. So moving on though, to the fact that, you know, social media has a such in a chokehold in me, especially at the moment. Like I don't think I've ever been ingrained in so many people's drama for no reason. Like, I'm feeling the parasocialness creeping up on me and the feeling like I know these people. And I'm and not even that, it's a weird dissociation between like I'm attached but not attached. Like I don't sit up at night um thinking about it, but I do like empathize and sympathize with the fact that like these are real people, and these are people who get online and people are talking about them all the time and have something to say. I mean, me included. So I'm actually adding to the narrative, and I hate that, but they're just like every other day there's something going on in someone else's life. So and I can't even begin to comprehend or yeah, even comprehend the type of like damage that can do to your psyche and your being, and how much therapy and how many weeks and days of therapy you would have to go through in order to really sort through all this. And then that made me think about the fact that millennials truly are so lucky that we grew up in an era where there was limited social media that I think that I am the woman that I am today, and my friends are the woman that they are today. And the reason why I think millennials are so more even keeled, and you know me, I don't like a Gen Z. And that's okay. And when I say I don't like a Gen Z, not the Gen Z people I know I hang out with. Okay, I'm talking, I'm generalizing, so don't come for me. But I think the women, the reason why we're such strong, independent thinkers is because in most cases we had to think for ourselves. We couldn't go online, we couldn't ask Google, we couldn't ask Alexa, we couldn't ask any other resources besides like the dictionary, the encyclopedia, and like our parents. If our parents didn't know, then we didn't know. Like if our textbook wasn't telling us, we didn't know. So we had to derive a lot of answers for ourselves and give context to a lot of things by ourselves. And even if I could Google stuff, I would have to wait for the dial-up to dial up onto the World Wide Web or for my mom to get off the phone for me to be able to look up such question. And by then I'm like, it's not worth it. Like I'm I'm I'm good on it. But in general, I just think we lack that parasocial um gene or thing because we just typically just didn't grow up watching other people and consuming other people. Even YouTube came up at a later period of time, you know? And I just think about like if I had an Instagram, like an actual Instagram where people are posting all the time and posting what they were doing all the time in high school, I don't know how I would have survived high school. High school's already scary. Okay. Like I think about the girls growing up every single day, because I have nieces who are eight, and I just like am so scared for what the world is gonna be when they get older and how I'm gonna have to help them navigate being teenagers or what they're gonna be like as they're teenagers, the fact that they're so different, them having phones, having access to social media. I mean, even when they I think like my their mom got them a phone and they were like six or something, and I was very against that. Like, I was not like, what does a six-year-old need with a phone? Um, what do they need with the iPad? Like, I don't like them being online. Mind you, they're just like watching YouTube shorts, but they know stuff from YouTube Shorts. Like they have brought up like stranger things to me. They know what Gucci is. Like when I'm like all my Gucci guys are like, are those Gucci? I'm like, how do you know what Gucci is in your six and seven? You know? So I think about them all the time, but high school sucks. My high school was great. Like I liked high school, but I liked high school because I knew what boundaries to set and I knew the people that I was surrounded by, right? Like the thing about my high school is that everyone was just mean and straightforward though. Like everyone was all up in each other's business. Like everyone was so like close and tight-knit, especially like my class and the class above me, and yeah, my class and the class above me. Well, I think we're like the tightest classes that we like did a lot of cross crossing, dating, friends, you know, like we we were just really close. I graduated in 2012, the class above me was 2011. Like we were just a really tight note, tight knit um class. So there was like a lot of overlap in in the drama and the dating and X, Y, and Z. And, you know, back then ask FM was a thing, you know, when you would go on and type like someone a question anonymously. And I would like on mine, people would ask me like random questions about my friends, and you know, like it was just it was so petty drama. But the reason why I knew that my high school was putty was because when I started dating my high school boyfriend, who was, you know, a star basketball player, star football player, X, Y, and Z, and is the one who was getting the notes written to him that I said last episode. I, when we first started dating, we didn't tell a soul, not one person, because we knew that people were trying to sabotage it. Just off just off principle. Just the fact that it was me and just the fact that it was him. And especially to like the girls in his grade, that like I remember one time I came to school with a hickey and someone said something to me, and I was like, Oh, my friend gave it to me. Like, I would much rather have thought that my friend, that people in school thought I was a lesbian than knowing who actually gave it to me. Like, that's how dead serious it was. We also were a really big because I was on palms, as I said last episode. We didn't um, or we like wore jerseys to the to the football games. And um, if you wore someone's jersey that alluded to you guys were like hooking up, right? I never wore that man's jersey until it became an issue where I like I needed it for a like homecoming performance and some other girl tried to wear it. And so I had to like check her and be like, look, actually, uh don't ask my man for the jersey. Okay. It's my jersey. But I just like under those conditions, imagine all that going on and then add social media on top of it. Add the fact that people could get online and talk shit about you. We had Twitter and people used to talk shit about Twitter. I told you about the girl last, like, but that was my senior year. So I already had been like, look, I don't really care. Like, I'm not gonna see any of you people after this, anyways. Like, I don't really care. Like, I think I had become desensitized to the drama by then. But but yeah, as a whole, like, imagine being in high school right now, you know, the girls looking how they look, girls don't even look like little girls anymore. Okay. Like when I've been seeing like the prom videos and stuff, I'm like, these girls are 18, 18, 17, 18. That's crazy. Um, and it just also made me makes me think about the fact that like me and my mom have been talking about like when we look back in history books, social media is gonna be reflected on as like the descent of like free thinking, um, individualism, and the scent of like depression, um groupthink, like everything that's wrong with the world, I'm sure they're gonna have like a before social media and an after social media. And especially with like AI and stuff coming up that you can't even differentiate really between what's real and what's fake, I'm sure is like very, very, very, very, very, very detrimental to a girl's self-esteem and her her mental. I mean, plastic surgery is so normalized nowadays, people aren't forthcoming with it. There's more people that are reachable because of their social media, like people that aspire to be like Alex Earle, like who are, you know, partying and doing all these things. And in it just feels like for me personally, it would make me feel like everything is out of reach to a degree if I didn't have that notion, the majority of the shit that I see online is fake, you know. I feel like low-key, the reason why I know everything is fake or why I think everything is fake is because I used to be in the AOL chat rooms talking about I was 18. Mind you, I was like 12. You know, I like it came to a different, and it came to a point where I like I knew, like, I had to lie about where I lived. I knew I had to lie about my age. I knew I couldn't meet up with anyone. Like I knew the the the laws of the internet and knew that like no one who is who they say they they were. And that's what I grew up on. And that's why when I get online now, I'm able to look at people's profiles and see what people post. And I'm like, this shit ain't real. Like I'm able to poke holes into it, essentially, because I used to do, I used to, I used to do that. I used to be deep in the in the AOL chatrooms. Fraud can recognize fraud. You know what I mean? And so I figured that I would talk about how to navigate social media and the tips I would give a girl for navigating social media if she were to like the tips I would give to my nieces when they get of age and it becomes appropriate. Because there comes a time when you're responsible for what you consume on social media. It's up to you to determine when enough is enough. I think that we should start looking at influencers as steak oil salesmen. Like what you see on the internet is not what you're actually getting. And I know it's hard to kind of remember that everyone's lives isn't perfect. Social media is a highlight reel, but that should be at the forefront of your mind when you're consuming someone else's content and someone else's social media page. You should be poking holes in every single thing that they are posting. Because nine times out of 10, like, yes, when people are like, is this relatable or this isn't relatable or whatever? Like, yes, is that that person's reality? Sure. I mean, if they have the content to back it up and that is the reality, sure. But at the same time, like, you see a girl on the boat, who's sponsoring that boat? You see a girl going to an expensive dinner, who's paying for the dinner? Is she getting it free? Is she getting it comped? Like, there's easily ways to put holes. Most of these people, it's a facade. Relationship content. When I see someone post the relationship, I immediately think that there's something wrong. When I see someone post their significant other a lot, I immediately think that they fight a lot and they're trying to verify and show the internet and whoever else is watching that their relationship is intact and try to give someone like something to be jealous of. And that opinion isn't even based on observation. It's not even based on just my intuition. It's really based on experience. Like my relationship I was in five years ago, whatever, the more I posted him, like when I look back on my archives, the more I posted him, the worse our relationship was. Like I can pinpoint every fight that went on between that was going on in between the stories that I was posting. Okay. I've been there, done that, I see it. Okay. The longer the anniversary posts, the worse the relationship. Like you never know what's going on in someone's mind. And not that I'm trying to raise you guys to be, if you're a young listener or whatever, or if you're listening, you're younger. I'm not trying to get everyone to be a contrarian like me. But the thing about me is that I'm impressed by none and I expect nothing. So I can't get bamboozled. I can't get necessarily hoodwinked. Nothing surprises me anymore because as a consumer of social media and a producer of social media, I know that everything online has a nuance and has a spin or fakeness to it. If I even only gave one piece of advice to anyone consuming social media or to my nieces eventually, is to believe nothing. You can't believe AI, you can't believe what people are saying. Like consume with a grain of salt. And honestly, I used to kind of judge people when they used to be like, oh, I am not on social media, I deleted my social media, I don't really scroll. I low-key, not even to be mean by low-key, used to judge those people because I'm like, okay, so you're just like, I viewed it as a weak-mindedness thing, but now I really can identify and appreciate the fact that, like, no, that's having boundaries, right? Like, that's being like, I don't really care what other people are doing. Um, scrolling is detrimental to my mental health. Like, I think that's a really powerful thing in understanding and knowing what your limits are and what you should be consuming and how you're consuming it and whether or not it's going to be detrimental to you and your productivity, your mental health, if it's like a comparison issue. Like, I do think that those are really important things to consider. And that shows actually like the type of willpower and strength you have to make that decision for yourself. And I now view that to be very strong-minded versus weak-minded. So that was a flaw in my character for viewing it that way. And again, I have so much more appreciation for people who do that now because it really is like saying that I admire when people know when enough is enough does not override or negate the fact that I still do think that if you are gonna be on social media though, there is a level of nuance or a level of responsibility you have to like not be a jealous asshole because of it, you know. Like, remember, two things can exist at once. You can acknowledge that, like, yeah, actually, this isn't making me feel too good about myself. I need to take a step back or unfollow these people. That does not give you the right, though, to then go on people's social media and like harass them. It also doesn't give you the right to treat your friends weird because you're jealous of their life and your life isn't going. Like, there's there's nuance and there's conditions to what I'm saying. But again, I do think it is powerful to acknowledge though when enough is enough. If you can't be happy for other people, though, like in your close-knit life, I'm not talking about influencers, then I think there is like another layer to that that needs to be sorted out. But again, two things can exist at once, and there are conditions to what I'm saying, if that makes sense. And while I do think that social media has given us more of like an input, you know, like. We we get information way faster, you know, when things go on in politics. And I do think that knowledge is power. I do think there is like an underlying um innocence that's been taken from us. I don't know if innocence is the word. We also know too much, and we also know too much negative stuff. I actually was on my Twitter the other day. I used to be like an avid tweeter. Um, and I haven't tweeted since I don't think I haven't really tweeted since Twitter became X. And then I started trying to use threads, and then I'm just like, I don't have that many thoughts about the day, unfortunately, enough to tweet anymore or be on threads anymore. But I was on Twitter and I was actually going on Twitter. Actually, the purpose that I went on Twitter was because speaking of Mr. West Wilson, his little West is um going around on social media picture of it. Do I think that's right? No. Am I right about him having small hands and alluding to the fact that that correlates to other things? Absolutely. Do I think that perhaps though he is a grower? Yes. So I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I think it's about the motion in the ocean, not the boat necessarily. That's all I'm going to say about that. It is on Max, though, or on Twitter, if you want to see it. But yeah, I started to read my tweets from 2022 and like before then, and even 2020. And I just feel like the undertone of my tweets were so like very lighthearted and very like silly and joking, and you know, life's not that bad, things aren't that serious, you know. Let's, you know, there there was a there was more hopefulness under all those tweets and more of a lightheartedness that I don't see myself being able to do again, or even like from when I read other people's tweets. Like there's just such like an angry undertone to everyone else's, to everything that's on the internet right now, like regardless. Like whether you get online and say be all happy and stuff, like there's just too much has happened in the past six years. Too much has happened in the past 10 years. And I think that social media, again, while knowledge is power, I do think that it is turning us into these like dopamine deprived individuals that we had before we were exposed to so much. And again, that's me. Like, I'm trying to generalize and say it in a way that's not to, you know, blame it all on the world or whatever. But I mean, but there is a lot going on in the world. I mean, that I I can't, I can't ignore that that there is something wrong with things that are going on in the world. But yeah, I I I do think that is because of social media. We see too much, we know too much, and I a hundred percent get now when someone prefers not to be on it. Um in terms of of navigating social media though, I do think again, like it is up to you to determine when is enough is uh is enough. Like who to follow, I think is the most and best thing that you can do for yourself. Like, are they aspiring you or are they making you feel bad? Are they giving you good advice? Are they giving you bad advice? Are they motivating you in some way? Like, what is the reason for you following them? Like, how are you making that differentiation? And especially too, like influencers are starting to become influencers younger and younger and younger. So I think having your kids consuming social media or even like trying to become an influencer, like that paper trail follows them for forever. Like how we used to say, like, the internet isn't forever, or that used to be like something that my mom would always scare me into believing. Like, she used to always be like, never text someone something that you wouldn't want the whole world to see. And that included like pictures talking about people, etc. Like she knew that that was gonna be used for weaponry one day, which people do come with the receipts now. Like, she wasn't wrong. Um, but it's even scarier though, knowing that how far the internet is going and too, like what happens as soon as someone gets famous. People go on their Twitter and look back at their their tweets and they get canceled for that. Like mom Donnie's wife or something, like the mayor of New York. His wife was under fire for her like tweets from long ago. So I do think that the second piece of advice that I would give to people navigating the internet is to follow people who align with your values, whether it be your friends, your idols, whatever have you. I personally said this before. I personally follow people who inspire me. I have a manifestation like um folder on Instagram that when I see something that I like or someone posts content that I like, whether it's the cadence in which they talk, which is the style in which they're filming, whatever, I use that as motivation and inspiration. Um, I of course love following my friends because I love what my friends are doing. And I wish my friends that are not content creators would post more. I don't know when it became cool also not to post like your regular schmuggler things. I also think that's why the internet feels so overconsumed. Maybe it isn't the word, but like just feel so stale at times because there's less real people living and more curation. And I just want to go back to like when I can see what my friends are having for dinner, you know, like when it was fun and juicy. Um, recently, though, two, like there are two people who when I see their hair makes me immediately order longer extensions and be like, we we're doing this all over again. First one is Megan Markle. If I watch suits and you see me post with a 22-inch bust down, this is because I watch suits because I love her, Megan Markle's hair and that. And then lately, Emma Greed. Emma Greed is the woman that I'm like, I'm about to get a 22-inch bust down. Like, I want my hair to be longer, I want longer layers. And honestly, hot take, I do think that influencers owe it to you to tell you what their political views are and who they sti and what they stand for. And the reason why they don't is obviously because they don't want to mess up their bag and they don't want one to be the other. But if your livelihood is dependent on other people supporting you, you do unfortunately owe it to them to tell them where you lie and so they know what they are supporting and who they are supporting. People who don't, to me, are cop-outs and they shouldn't really have followers. And if you feel that way as strongly as I feel that way, then maybe that's someone you shouldn't be follow, shouldn't be following. And that also too goes from like little young kids. I would monitor the hell out of my kids' social media. I actually don't even want my kids to have a phone. I'll give you guys a flip phone and you can call me when you need to get picked up from school. But until you're in like high school, get a car, you're 16, I don't know that what you need to be on social media for, to be honest. Truthfully, I'm kind of being half serious and half not when I say this. But the kind of content that I like immediately click not interested, are the tarot card readers. I know my life is in shambles when a tarot card reader shows up on my for you page on TikTok. And while I know that they're full of shit, like sometimes I let it kind of get in my head and define me. But I was originally talking to someone and I was telling them about online and the internet, and I was saying that the things on the internet are kind of like tarot card readers. Like they did that give this disclaimer before they get into the tarot card reading, and they say, uh, take what resonates and leave the rest. And I think that's what a lot of people have a hard time doing is taking what resonates and leaves the rest. You don't need to announce that you disagree, you don't need to announce what you're taking. You can just take it and scroll. And I think the juxtaposition between a for you page that AI is, you know, curating for you and separating ourselves from that and into our actual being is the fact that we do have autonomy in what we can control in what we consume. We can control what we consume, we can control what we comment, we can control what we engage in, we can control our mindset of mind space. Now, I think too, the one thing that I typically try not to consume as much of is political things at the moment. And not to say like I have my head in the sand and I don't know what's going on, but to a degree, there are just certain things that I can't I can I can no longer consume. I had to block that Aaron Parness guy because I'm like, I can't do this every second of every day that you're like updating about something crazy going on. Like I'll get the highlights from something else. Maybe that's why my for you page lately has been a little bit more like um pop culture focused. And maybe that's why I'm a little bit more ingrained in the pop culture drama than I am in like other drama, but that is for my mental health sake. And I actually think as a whole, I personally would love to see social media be less critical and more productive. Like I actually was talking to my therapist about this today that notoriously people say that Alex Cooper is a bad interviewer. And I don't necessarily think so, but the thing about criticism is that I feel like it falls flat if you don't have a have advice on how to fix it or do better. So when people say, oh, Alex Cooper's a terrible interviewer, okay, I don't see you interviewing Kamala Harris, I don't see you interviewing X, Y, and Z. I don't see your podcast here. So what could she be doing better? Instead of just saying, oh, she sucks as an interviewer, right? Like, where is like to to criticize someone, you know, like have like a type of positive criticism that it just doesn't come off of you being like a hater, you have to have like some advice in order to make it worth the time of them listening. Like I'm just I'm so tired of people getting online and having all these think pieces and have all this like criticism, but actually adding nothing productive to the conversation or nothing productive to the internet. Like, what value add are you having? And I and I think that's where the point I am in social media and what I want to see improve and improve for like my sake, our sake, my my niece's sake, my future daughter's sake, that I want them to have the critical thinking skills enough to know what's real and what's fake on the internet, while also like if they do have something negative to say, that there's some feedback on it in in what can be improved. Because otherwise, I mean, what really is the point on being on the World Wide Web? You know, like I think again, I think it is positive to hear other people's opinions and differing opinions. And, you know, there are so many positive things about social media. But I also think that the negative things, though, are the things that have been affecting us as of late. And the negative things and the information that we're we we've been giving and the lack of um action to rectify those things, uh and I mean like in a grand scheme, like in the world type things, like like there's just all this negative information, but there's no fix, there's no action, there's no movement. And that is the thing that's depleting our energy. And it's just it's tiring. I will end on this with a funny story that I just recently shared on TikTok that went viral. By viral, I mean like it has like 14,000 views. So to me, anything over 10,000 K goes viral. But I always forget this story, and I thought now would be the appropriate time to share it. And that is the time that Kelly Rowland, yes, that Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child stopped me from walking on a date two years ago. And again, I forgot and someone reminded me, so I'll try to make this quick since it's the end of the episode. But um, yeah, two years ago, I was in the process of getting back with my ex. And the thing about getting back with your ex is that in the very beginning, you don't have to act like you're not crazy, right? You don't have to act like, oh, I have to play it cool, I have to play it chill. No, what are we doing? Why are we doing it? Where is this going? And mind you, too, like when we started to talk again, it wasn't on purpose. It really was just like a friends thing at first. Um, and then one day we just we're not friends anymore. And so we love to go to the movies. Anyone that knows me knows my favorite pastime is going to the movies. I love going to AMC theaters, and there's an AMC theater like right by where he used to live. And a new restaurant had just opened right next to there, and they had a happy hour. They had fire express martinis, so we went and we decided to go there before the movie theater. So we're sitting there, and of course we get into an argument before the movie. And I don't really remember what the fight was about, but I do remember it was something like along the lines of again, like, what are we doing? Why are we doing it? Whatever. And his answer was not what I wanted to hear. Like he's a very rational, practical person. I can sometimes be emotional. Okay, it's my Gemini moon. And he was just like, it's been two weeks. Let's see where this goes. Like, let's see if we actually like, you know, get along a little bit better, whatever. And I, again, in my mind, I'm like, well, it's a miracle, we're even talking. So why in the world are you not on your hands and knees begging for me to take you back? Like, this should be end game for you. Like, I need to see more emotion from you. So we leave, I was pissed. We go back to, we go to the movies, and we're sitting in the theater and we're like early, obviously. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I actually kind of don't want to be here. I actually kind of don't want to go on this journey with him again if he's not gonna be like on his hands and knees, like yearning for me. That's just like not how I envisioned us ever getting back together. And the thing about Alyse is that when things don't go the way that she wants them to go, she kind of spirals. Um, and everything has to be a certain way. Like, how dare you not execute this how I envisioned us executing it? So I thought about leaving. I was like, okay, I'm gonna leave. But also I'm like, okay, if but if I leave though, like this is it. Like we're not gonna probably talk ever again. Like, he's not gonna forgive me for leaving. Like he's gonna view that as being like the worst thing I could have ever done because I just know how he thinks. And so we're sitting there and I'm thinking to myself, okay, I don't know if I'm gonna leave or not, but I'm just gonna tell him I'm gonna go get a glass of wine and I'm gonna let my mind and my body duke it out. Like, either I'm gonna stop at the bar because I have to pass the bar on the way to the escalator out, or I'm going to keep going towards the escalator and exit the premises, and we'll see. And so I tell him I go get some wine, I exit the theater. As soon as I walk out the theater, I look to my right, and this like big guy is just like staring at me. And I'm looking at him, he's looking at me, and he's looking me up and down, like grooming me. And I'm like, okay, look, I don't actually have time for this. I already have a man in the theater stressing me out. I don't need another man to try to hit on me. Also, I'm not interested. So as we're looking at each other and I'm getting closer, a woman walks out of the theater and she has like a bob and she has a blue shirt on. And I'm like, is that Kelly Roland? I'm like, that can't be Kelly Roland. So we so he follows her, and it indeed is Kelly Rowland. And she stops and she's like, they're promoting um the show or movie that Tyler Perry produced like two years ago. I can't remember what it's called. She stops, she's taking pictures, I have my phone out. I'm engaged. Like, I love Kelly Roland. I was a Destiny's Child stand when I was younger. And I run into this girl I see, I know, and I start talking to her. And I'm just like so caught up in the fact that, like, again, it's Kelly Rowland. What are the chances I walk out and it's Kelly Rowland? And in all that chaos, as soon as she walks away, everyone else disperses, whatever. I forget why I'm even out there. I forget why I even walked out there. I'm no longer mad. I'm more zen. I'm calm. I'm I'm like, I literally forgot. I'm literally standing there, like, okay, what now? Like, I'm like scratching my head. And then I think to myself, you know who would really enjoy this story? The man that's in the theater waiting for me to come back because I told him I was going to get going to get a glass of wine. So what did I do? I did get a glass of wine. I went back in the theater and I told him that I saw Kelly Rowland out there and he reacted as he should and was also just a shook. And we laughed and hee-heed and hahaed. And yeah, I mean, we're not together anymore. That's fine. We did go on to a date for 10 months after that. So whatever. But that is the positive experience I brought to social media for this week. And a lot of people thought like it was funny. I think it's hilarious. Um, because it's not every day you run to Kelly Rowan and she stops you and she's and she makes you so starstruck that you forget that you were mad at the ex. You probably shouldn't have dated anyways. So, anyways, um, thank you guys for listening. My name is Alyse and I'm the host of Go Get Hers. And I will see you next week, actually, for a very exciting twist. Stay tuned. Bye.