14 Years in the Making, Part 2 ft. Corinne McLochlin

Corinne is back on the pod for part two of 14 Years in the Making to unpack relationships, long engagements, and all the love lessons in between.

Transcript

Corinne 0:06

Hi, welcome to Go Get Hers. I'm Corinne and I'll be your host today. She's normally the host, but I'm taking over. And I'm gonna interview her today.

Alyse 0:18

You are. We'll talk less, I think.

Both 0:20

We'll talk less. We'll giggle less. That's insane. No, I know I'm sorry. I can't imagine. Because there was some story that actually I was we're missing. We're missing one that's funny. We're like really funny to us. To us. And to that one guy. Everyone thinks we're funny too. Everyone thinks we're funny. Everybody wants us. Everyone wants us to.

Corinne 0:37

Let's start easy. Let's start easy. What is the most overrated spot in Chicago? I can't believe you're willing to say this on air.

Both 0:43

Do you know what it's gonna be? No. We've been there. We have? Together. What year? Oh, that's a good question. Maybe 2023. Oh. The VIG? No. Actually, remember that video we started? It was in front of there. Holy Tavern? Yes. That place fucking sucks. What? That place sucks. This is a hot take. It sucks. It's the worst hot. And mind you, it's Hogsalt. I thought it's saying people as Bavette's. Yeah. But it's the worst, dude.

Corinne 1:11

Don't they own the Green Street Meats there too?

Alyse 1:13

They do. Green Street Green Street smoked meats is good. Have you been a high five ramen in the basement?

Corinne 1:18

No, but you've wanted to take me there. You can't just skate over it. What is it? Because really, like the vibes are immaculate.

Alyse 1:26

They're okay.

Corinne 1:27

It's a massive, it can sit so many people and it has good lighting, I think.

Alyse 1:32

I just think if I were to pick Hogsalt, it would be anywhere but there. For some reason, the food tastes different. It doesn't taste like a hog salt restaurant. Like, and mind you, the the best thing about the hog salt restaurants is that you can literally get anything at like all the same places. Like they serve all the same stuff. So like you can go to Guilt Bar and get a Bivette steak. You can go to Trivole, you can get a Bavettes steak. It's hard to tell if Alyse is like just like so much more advanced than me, or if I just am an idiot. I think I like yeah. That's I'm I'm a chronically online. So I just feel like I just I'm more online than you. You just know things. Yeah, so I just like right. And guys, I read books. It's really late. No, she which is I mean, she's smarter than me in like other sense, but but two, I used to date a fat ass. So like, and by fat ass, I don't mean he was fat. I just mean being literally he was like literally he was like a foodie and he was one that got me into food. Yeah.

Corinne 2:26

And so I were talking about it was like a recipe for disaster. That's not true. But it was like Alyse was bound to just become like this major foodie because he was like so into it. They would and you still do this today, like look at the recipe before or look at the menu before you go, right? And you know what you're gonna order. Like she like builds excitement for the place.

Alyse 2:48

Yeah, and that was I mean, and that was I hate to hype him up. If he ever listens to this, you can't say I never said anything fucking nice about him. But like I did love that. I mean, he he was he would be on like Yelp looking at all the pictures. It's amazing. But also, too, he he did like um I would we also go to restaurants and I like when I look at the menu. I was like too. You could trust him. There was that was the one thing I could trust him on though. Mind you, I couldn't trust him to do anything else.

Corinne 3:12

On the paint color. We were talking earlier about how like if you have ever painted walls and you just know like the color white, I can't remember the word you used to like the adjective used for it, but it's like cream. I wanted cream still. Well, no, but yeah, but it's like it's like dealt, like you have to be really careful. Like it's a fine line. Yes. Because like if you were gonna go for like a very warm house, I like literally I'm thinking, like, if you're gonna have like a like burnt orange chair or something, sure, you can do this like eggshell type of right, like white, but otherwise you're just gonna end up with yellow and all your stuff is gonna look wrong. Yes. Go ahead.

Alyse 3:48

I was telling her the story about when I was on the verge of moving in with my ex, we repainted his whole apartment and he owned a like um commercial real estate and construction company. And he I mean, I feel like should I be like making up nicknames for like my exes?

Corinne 4:06

Yeah, what should we call him?

Alyse 4:08

I feel like I have to naturally just like call him Mr. Collab because that's why I used to call him online years ago, remember?

Corinne 4:12

Okay, I'm so for that, but I'm also against it because it's still the name of your company. I know. Yeah, because eventually there is gonna be like a legit Mr. Collab. Like I'll call him. I was gonna say you should just bleep out every single time we say his name. And we're swearing. Um no, but okay, fine. For the sake of this, we'll call him Mr. Collab, but just like, no, actually, no, we should just call him nothing. Not again, like he's not the worst person in the entire world. We're not saying Right, no. It's just more like, why we're not trying to give airtime.

Alyse 4:43

Like, what else? We'll call him Mr. Construction, because I just said he owned a construction. Yeah, we'll call him Mr. Construction. I did think when I first met him, though, that he like was a construction worker. Is it hot or not? I can't say. No, I was like, why did this person? I sat on him in my hinge likes for like a month, like months. Not even months, like maybe like days. Wait, so is his job title say something about construction, like commercial construction? No, looking back, it did say owner of like I just saw the Yeah, but you see owner of the city. No, it said project manager and something. Okay, okay. Yeah. That's not a very wonder one. But what made me question it was that he told me that his he was like, oh, my guys are painting this parking garage. So I thought him and his guy, I thought he was leading the crew and painting. Sure.

Corinne 5:28

But we're not saying that that's a shitty job.

Alyse 5:32

Amazing. No, but I just I just didn't know. I mean, that's just like I I didn't really like I was on the apps just like fooling. Anyways, that's besides the point. But anyways, we were gonna move in together. He owned a company, so he had his like people paint the apartment. And the thing about paint, especially when it comes to cream, is that if it has a drop of yellow, it's gonna come out yellow. Yeah, especially if the whole matter what the the carpet was tan. It pissed me the fuck off. Um, anyways, so like he thought he ate with one paint color because he went rogue on one. But it sounds like he did eat with that first one for the bathroom. Yeah. So he like went rogue. We paint, we picked all the paint, like we literally had like swatches on the walls. Like we went to the paint store every weekend, like the Home Depot. Like, we were very it like we delivered it. No, I and I think that's what I tell people is that I think when we broke up, everyone's like, it felt like a divorce. It felt like like a bomb had been dropped. Yeah, like paint shopping. I've never done that with Devon. I mean, we I mean we had redecorated the whole entire apartment together, dude. Yeah. But we broke up. We literally had to sit down and tally out who paid for what. And he had to like he had to pay me out for the furniture because he wanted to keep it because I had like redesigned his whole entire apartment. It was cute, came out really good.

Corinne 6:40

Yeah, it's a bummer. But like it was a bummer because I'm like because when I visited his apartment, the only thing I liked about it was the 1942 everywhere. That's the only thing. We knew we could get the rest of it, it was just like a man cave when I visited the first time. Not that it wasn't a nice apartment, but just like it was, you know, like a man a man's place.

Alyse 6:57

Well, I will say something that you're about breakups and about relationships is that your body does your body and your mind tells you before you actually depart the relationship. And I will say, looking hindsight, when I moved out of that place, all I did was just make it a better-looking bachelor pad. I'm gonna be so honest. Like looking back, when I look at pictures, and even when I we dated again and I went over there, I'm like, This is not Alyse. I was no, I was like, there's no, there's nothing in here that screams me. And you were trying to like fit into his shows how much I was getting lost in the relationship.

Corinne 7:32

Yeah. It's also like I what do you like in future state? Would you have wanted to have him just move somewhere else? Because some people say that that it's like I know a girl that moved in with her boyfriend, and like it just like remains her boyfriend's place now. And I was very against moving in.

Alyse 7:50

I literally told him I was like, I'm gonna go to the house. And it's a cute apartment, but I get it. Yeah, but so I mean, this is the thing, one of his exes lived there with him before, and that's why I was like very against it. I was like, why the fuck would I move in here and you live with some other bitch? Oh, some other bitch living. Yeah, it's a little bit. That's not yeah, yeah. But the only reason why I changed my mind was because he was like, Well, we can well, we almost bought a place, you know, that was actually supposed to be two places down from Corinne.

Corinne 8:12

It would have been so bad. Yes. And so fun.

Alyse 8:14

Yeah, but we literally, I mean, I would have had to move out eventually, say it all the time. But it's okay, you would have could have moved into my second. Maybe I would have shut up. Maybe I would have like a lot of people.

Corinne 8:22

I like to think that I yeah, I told Alyse I think that they would unfortunately have lasted a little longer because I feel like I'd be a buffer because like I would just be knocking on their door and like watching the movie with them in between.

Alyse 8:34

Yeah, so we wouldn't have any space or room to fight, maybe um it was also when my brother and my ex-sister-in-law was like moving houses, it just seemed like a lot of work to move. And he said we could repaint and redo the whole thing, buy all new furniture, and he did have like a good apartment. And so I felt like redecorating painting was like the half of it. And again, I just felt like how my my lease ended in December, his ended in like May. So me having to move into his apartment for a mitt for five months and then move again just seemed dumb. Yeah, yeah. So it's just like, I'll just move in there. But um, so yeah, so we picked out paint and he This is a story about paint. Yeah, don't forget. Right, exactly. So he is actually a part of my resilience and my my lack of being able to go with the flow. That's actually the underlying ski uh theme or whatever. Because yeah, he he did good with some of the paint colors. We like repainted the whole, his whole apartment was tan and dark brown. And so when I left though, it ended up being more gray, hints of leather, black. Okay, but like linear screaming man. Right. But in my apartment, mind you, my apartment now is all pink and blue.

Corinne 9:43

Which like you might not be able to get. Like I remember, you know how you can take those like tests online or whatever. Like I felt like that was really good for Devon and I. We took like tests online to see what our style was for homes. Oh, that's cute. And then we both had different stuff, but like it gives you like the follow-up view, yeah, you know, and we both had mid-century modern. So I was like, okay, we can meet in the middle. We're not gonna do like full Corinne, like eclectic like maximalism, but we're not gonna do like Devon's. Yeah. Yeah.

Alyse 10:10

Well, mind you, I mean, like we did agree on everything, but partially because it was more manly. But I do have like a more manly like what about you is manly? No, but I but I do think like my style, because I like leather, I do like dark colors. Like, like like my apartment now is actually sometimes confusing to me that I picked out what I picked out. Really? I don't think because my apartment before then, though, was so black and white. And it was just so like gray and white and marble. But this one has a lot of colorful. Yeah.

Corinne 10:40

I love the color though. Yeah, like you do, do you get direct sunlight?

Alyse 10:44

No. Actually, it's actually, I think because of how the earth is spinning, I get more light in the winter. Because I'm north facing.

Corinne 10:50

Oh, yeah. I in the summer get like the smallest little, it's literally like the top one sunlight for 30 minutes. Comes in and I'm like, this is the best day ever. No, yeah. Yeah I wish like when I buy a home, that is a must, right? Like, get that direct sunlight. No, just such a happy thing. It does.

Alyse 11:09

And then Corinne comes over to my apartment, she's like, Your house has so your apartment has such good light, and I'm like, I know. She always catches, she'll be telling me a story, and I'll just be like, take a look at the side. She'll be in the middle of literally.

Corinne 11:17

I always take I took some today. I know, I saw you because it's the best lighting.

Alyse 11:21

But it's not. Like, I feel like when I film for TikToks, I'm like, I don't there's no light in here. I don't know. Which is interesting. But it's because your light is really bad.

Corinne 11:29

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you do get like a lot of indirect sunlight. Right. Um, but anyways, the wrap of the story is that he yeah, he picked out this.

Alyse 11:37

We did gray in the living room. He went rogue and picked out like this like grayish white in the bathrooms because he had two bathrooms, and then in the bedroom, we wanted a cream. And he picked out one that was like, and I kept telling him, If it had a splash of yellow, it's gonna look yellow. Even a dot, a drop of yellow. Totally, it'll be yellow. And up the whole thing being yellow. And I was telling Corinne today that I was like, if we would have stayed together, he would have came home, the whole entire fucking place would have been painted over. Like I was literally plotting. And he knew that I felt that way because he would text me every day when he left for work and he'd be like, honey, it's gonna get lighter. And I'm like, he's like, it's it's gonna lighten. I'm like, and I would never respond. Yeah.

Corinne 12:16

I would never respond. Which I love because that just feels like so. I will say that like reminds me of their relationship. Because like Alyse, I don't know if we said it this episode or last time, but like you wear your emotions on your face. So like he didn't have to know what was going through your head. No.

Alyse 12:33

He knew. Oh, he oh, he would wake up, look at me, I would be awake already or whatever. And I would your eyes would do the same thing. I would be like, good morning. And he'd be like, it's gonna get lighter or swear. Like he knew. I'm like, I can't walk up, wake up in this yellow ass room. I will say, we got back together, what, two years, three years later. It was, it wasn't as yellow.

Corinne 12:53

So he was that part out earlier.

Alyse 12:55

Yeah, but so he was a little bit right, but it was, but it still was yellow, but I could still I could still tell. Your story lost. I could still tell to me that he was right in the end than it did. I know, like I said, I I hate to give him his props, but I I do unfortunately do think that that relationship was the relationship that changed me in a lot of ways and laid the groundwork to where I am today.

Corinne 13:16

Yeah, I think especially about like like uh experiencing Chicago, right? And like the restaurants, and like now when we go out to eat, like I just let her order because she you know, like when you go out and you're like, I don't know what that is. Like she knows what everything is, and you think that I'm a dumbass for not knowing what things are.

Alyse 13:36

They just don't you guys don't you guys just don't go out to eat that much. You order DoorDash more than I thought you did.

Corinne 13:41

Yeah, well, actually, I don't order DoorDash anymore. This is a story for another day. Oh wow. I order Uber Eats. You know this, right? When I was in Columbus a couple years ago.

Alyse 13:51

But you still do food food delivery, is what I mean. Okay, yeah. It's like the Uber versus the when people are like, I'm like, I ordered an Uber and they're like She means a Lyft. I mean a Lyft because I don't fuck with Uber. We don't have to be a good one. Uber takes forever to or curb.

Corinne 14:03

We'll take a curb.

Alyse 14:04

Yeah, or a curb. The only positive about Uber is that it does um you can get curbs like the taxis on the Uber app. You can't do that on Lyft.

Both 14:14

Like if you go on Uber, there is a taxi on the website. Yeah, that's right. I like though because my Lyft is linked like to your United? No, to Devon. So he can see when I'm on the move. Do you know you can do that? Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, so I took this like test. It's like these stupid gal like tests, or you know, those like strength finder tests. Yeah. And then there's like the ceiling in the basement of like your okay, so like number one thing for me was relator, which means I like like to do things with friends. That's awesome. So like the good of it is that like people's that um it's like a work strength finder or something.

Alyse 14:46

Oh.

Corinne 14:46

So it was my number one string called relator. And so the good, there's like the ceiling and the floor or the basement, and the ceiling is like the good of it, which is people feel included, blah, blah, blah. But then I was so dead set on the basement side of it, which is like, you know, it's like fake, people feel left out because like just all this stuff. And I think you're like that too. Like you're even your strengths, you're gonna be able to spin them into a way that's more like accountable and could be like constructive.

Alyse 15:14

Yeah. I mean, I just think like getting up and doing what I'm supposed to be doing every day is the bare minimum. Cause what else am I gonna do? Yeah. You know what I mean?

Corinne 15:21

Like, I just think like being responsible is a bare minimum thing. I'm an adult. So what the what else am I supposed to do? That's kind of like when you've said, I'm sure I'm hoping you've said this on an episode of the podcast, but like when you're saying bare minimum, it always makes me think of what you say about men because that's like I feel like I'm constantly saying that. Like, if a boyfriend isn't cheating on you, that's the bare minimum. Don't put that in your like, he's a really good guy. Like, I trust me. Right. I trust it on me. Yeah, like I feel like he doesn't like talk to other girls. Like, no, that's that's the bare minimum. That's literally the bare minimum.

Alyse 15:53

That's like literally. We don't have a partner.

Both 15:55

Right. Like, that's I mean, when you sign up to be in a relationship, that's all that's literally what they should or should not be doing. It's like it's I feel like right and wrong are very I as as much as I say that I am like a gray person, which two things can exist at once, there are some things that are inherently just like right or wrong. Yes. And cheat on your partner, wrong. Easy. Like clean up after yourself, right? Like it's just like, should I or should not I not be doing this? Yes. It it's just it again, it's the bare minimum. And so I think, okay, me deciding to start a podcast and put on an episode every week, bare minimum. What the fuck else am I gonna do? Like, you know, but that is, and that's stupid because that is not the bare minimum. You're doing so much more with your time than other people. Right. But I do get what you're saying. Like, your bar for yourself is not the bare minimum. Your bar for yourself, your bare minimum is higher. It is. Which I I again, I think that's like what comes down to like your ex and just like the like part of the reason why I think your journey to find the next guy, like your bare minimum is is higher for yourself. So you have that same standard for other people too. Yes. Like I don't think you we wouldn't be willing to budge for the right person. Right. But at the same time, I think like you aren't gonna spend your time with people that aren't willing to like put in the work. No. And that is like, again, I do credit my ex. I do think that some things, what did I call him, Mr. Construction? Yeah. I do think that he did lay the groundwork of being like, what I didn't the one thing that I know for sure that I want a relationship is someone that's like reliable, dependable, etc. That was eye-opening to me because I don't feel that way about him. Like I don't think that he's reliable. I don't think that he's dependable. I don't think that someone Like he had the means, but he didn't have the um what's the word?

Corinne 17:45

Like he didn't have the like. Yeah, like the discipline the motivation like the discipline. Like in the It wasn't using he had the money, that's what we're saying. Like he had the money to be able to like easily set up a sustainable way of showing Alyse that he cared, not saying money, just saying like But money, but this is the thing that I'm starting to realize as though like back to love languages, is that money doesn't mean anything to me because of what I just said, that my parents have provided everything for me. I have money, but so like what I'm looking for is someone that can more emotionally sustain, fill my void emotionally, because I do think I have an emotional void that I that comes from like my brother passing, and I didn't want to be an extra burden. I already saw that my parents were suffering. I didn't want to be an extra emotional bear burden on my parents for sure. So I internalized a lot of things. So, like someone that's dependable, that shows up for me, that like emotionally feels safe, is something that is more important to me than money. For him, money was all he could really totally give. Like, it's not that he was like completely emotionless. Also, too, I mean to a degree. I'm also to a degree, like emo I'm I'm nonchalant. Like he was Mr. Nonchalant, yeah. Like maybe we should call him Mr. Nonchalant. That's really good. Because he like he was Mr. He was nonchalant, I'm nonchalant, unless there's an issue. Then I show that like no, I actually do care a little bit more, no, I actually like would like this. But I got to a point though, like when we got back together that I was able to verbalize what needed to I had actually the language what knew what needed to change, and he was just literally incapable of doing that. Yes. And I do think to a degree. If you if you tell someone what you need from them and they don't do it, that is a refusal though. It's not even an incapability because if you knew better, you do better. It is literally a refusal to be able to do that. Or you should at least see, or you should at least see growth. Like I think like we talked about it in the last episode. Like my I am a very imperfect person. My husband is like exactly the same. We're all imperfect people. But like to me, if I can see that there's 1% improvement when I give like feedback around like, hey, I don't like this, it makes me feel like this. If I can see you making an effort to be better, like I'm already satisfied. Right. Like, no, I not to I don't expect to never have to remind you, like, I know that like life has a lot going on. If you can just like make an effort that you're trying to get better, like just not doing it all is a disrespectful choice. Like it's a very direct choice not to, especially when you're giving the tools and the means instead of like them trying to guess, you know? Well, so you were with your husband though, how long before you guys got engaged? Five-ish, maybe yeah, like five years.

Alyse 20:29

And you got engaged when you were 29?

Corinne 20:32

I really don't remember. I think I was 20. Oh, yeah. You guys were 22 like a like a year and a half. Yeah. Or yeah. Yeah. Well over two years actually. Oh, really? Yeah, it was long. But I was so I was so grateful for that. But I think I think I've probably told you this. Like, people don't talk about like when you get engaged. Like they're just like, you're engaged. It's amazing. Right. But there's like so much more that goes to it. Like you actually have to be like, shit, I just wanted the ring. Now I have to think if I want the person.

Alyse 20:57

No, but I remember you saying that, like when you got engaged, that you felt like you still like being engaged for a little longer. You're like, I still need to make sure I want to do this. Yeah.

Corinne 21:07

I was like real, like, I don't know how people I'm happy for people if they're sure. I don't care if they get engaged quickly. But I think like for women, for guys, they have to go pick out the ring. They pick out the ring, they buy the ring, they spend their money on the ring, they make the full decision. Like they are uh they are assessing you leading up to that. Like they're like, Do I actually want to? And you're probably on the other side just being like, Where's my ring? Right. So, like they're getting the worst of you. And then you get engaged and you're like, holy shit, like it's not about the ring. This is the person I'm gonna wake up to every single day of the for the rest of my life. You have no idea who that person's gonna be five years from now, ten years from now, because I'm sure as fuck not the same person I was a decade ago. Like everybody's gonna evolve. Like, you have no idea. And then you just kind of realize it's a leap of faith. At least that was my Journey, not that I don't like love and obsess over my husband, but I think it's just like accepting that I love him so much today and I'm willing to put in the work to keep loving him. It's okay if he changes. But like I do think people just that get have short engagements, I'm like, do you really have time to like think through what's happening? Right. Just do it.

Alyse 22:20

And so and it really, I think regardless, it is a leap of faith because you never know. You just don't know. And I think that's sometimes in my mind where I struggle with the idea of marriage, like I all of a sudden have commitment issues, is because there's no plan B. And I'm such a plan B person. Like I'm like, I need a way out. Like I need, I need to know that I have autonomy in this. Relationships, I'm like, I can reverse and leave anytime. But my plan B for marriage can't be divorce. No. And and that's not how I want to go in thinking about it. That like I need to at least have some type of assurance. Yeah. But also, too, it has to be a leap of faith. Like, I don't think I've I'll ever actually be like legitimate, ready. Yeah. But I but I know when I'm not because I've been there. Like I've I've known, like I when I broke up, when we broke up when I was 26, I knew I had so much more ambition in me. And I'm like, I I know this man would love and pregnant. Yeah, he would love me to be barefoot and pregnant. But like I don't want to be. I and I want to be more. It used to actually really piss me off. This is actually crazy. It used to piss me off. I've always like kind of struggled with being someone's girlfriend and be like, oh, this is so-and-so's girlfriend, so-and-so's wife.

Corinne 23:23

The bane of my existence. I'll never, ever, ever forget Devon's first friend that actually treated me like I was not his like just significant other. Yeah. If I don't want to be introduced as Devin's girlfriend, at least I want to be like, this is Karen. Yeah. She's dating Devin.

Alyse 23:40

Exactly.

Corinne 23:40

It's literally so easy.

Alyse 23:42

Exactly. And I remember one time I picked him up from the airport and he and his like license plate was like his last name, whatever. And I guess he like ran to one of his buddies on the plane, and he used to take forever to come out the airport, dude. I'd be like, it's gonna be 30 minutes because he walked slow. Dude, it used to drive me nuts.

Corinne 23:59

I thought you said like I'm not sure. I'm him. If I'm him, I'm I can see him meand, but I can see him meandering. I can see him taking his time just knowing that you're in the car.

Alyse 24:08

And one time I was like, it literally took you 30 minutes to get out. He was like, Did it? Yeah, because you fucking dude. And mind you, he would be in first class, so it doesn't make any sense why you would be like moseying out the fucking thing. And I remember one time too, I this is actually this is actually a testament about how I say I'm nicer. I used to pick him up from the airport. I used to beg to pick him up from the airport because he used to always drive me to the airport. Oh, okay. And so and he used to drive his family to the airport. So I'm like, someone should show you that you also decide to care about you. Yeah.

Both 24:34

Like when I'm like, I low-key him like a hopeless romantic. I really think that airport driving to like in Chicago, like people understand it. It is like I think that that is a love language. No. Because they're committing it's not about dropping you off. Right. It's about the drive home after and the other way around. Yes. Like it's you have to remember it goes two ways. When I drop Devin off, that means I'm gonna be in the car for an hour home.

Alyse 24:54

Yep. Alone. Yep. Do you know what I mean? And I and I think that's okay because what else would you be doing? Exactly. To be honest, my alternative is sitting on the couch on my phone, waiting for him to get in the Uber and come home. Right. I would rather let's cut it out and let's I can I can be on my phone in traffic. Right. I'll be on my phone when I sit there at the telephone lot, whatever.

Corinne 25:14

No, which is But anyways, I get it. But I get it. It's still a lovely, it's like I pretty much believe it's a lovely thing.

Alyse 25:19

But if it's if it's like a bad time, then it's like, okay, bro, like you've got to figure it out. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But I did used to like very be very insistent on picking up from the airport. That's cute. Used to beg him to. And then Corinne, I would be making, I would make him a pot roast, like some food before he came home. So remember one time he called me, he was like, Do you want me to get you some McDonald's from the airport?

Corinne 25:35

I said, I mean the things that Alyse doesn't say until years later because she's literally ashamed that she was so whipped. I used to make him dinner all the time.

Both 25:43

Yeah. I used to be like, crock pot. It would be like, it would, it I would time it to immediately be ready when he got home. Like I would try. I should have taken you to the hospital. I didn't realize you were so sick. I would try to like feed into like because I knew that that's what not that he wanted, but I knew that that I knew that was. That's what every guy wants. But I just knew what he appreciated me. I knew that he would really much appreciate it. So I would like, but I also too, I'm a really good like pattern recognition person. So I knew he took a long time to get to the airport. I knew he took, um, I knew he would like like food. I knew he would be hungry because he was a fat ass. Like I said, he was not a fat ass, but he was a foodie. And I knew that. And so I would do those things. And I remember I like picked him up from the airport, was in his car, but I would be driving his car. Okay, let's just say it'll be his car. Uh pick him up at his car. Because she doesn't have right. Yeah. I will say, when I did have my car, he did like fill up the gas. Like he did do a couple things with it. But again, bare minimum though. If you're in my car and the gas says E and you bring it back E, you're a piece of shit guy and you're useless and you're fucking lazy, okay? Let's say that on record. Oh my God. God forbid the next man that does that to you. Bare minimum because my dad, when I go home, yeah, and he knows I'm going somewhere. This is not. He asked me a whole bunch. Right. Roland Alston is the problem. Roland is the problem. Roland would ask Roland's problem. He'd be like, Are you eating late? Do you need food right now? I'll make you something. My mom, my dad worked his whole entire life. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. Guess who cooks and cleans now? My dad. I'm in love with your dad. My mom literally this morning, she was like, She's like, I guess I woke up too late because I didn't get my coffee in bed this morning. I love her. I said, must be nice because I gotta walk outside and pull on some clothes and we get my own fucking coffee. So I picked him up from the airport. He saw his buddy on the plane. I was in his car, license plate, so it's obvious. Someone knocked on the window. It was his buddy and was like, Hey, are you like so-and-so's girlfriend? I was like, Alyse. You probably literally, and this is my thing. I'm Alyse. And he was like, Oh, like, yeah, I ran to so and because you know, like, you know how guys call each other by their last names. So he'd like, yeah, I ran to blah blah, whatever. And he's like, I he was like, but I know he like had to get his luggage, and I was like, Yeah, he takes like 45 minutes to come out. So like you can stick around if you want. It made me it just made me so upset. And I even too remember when I dated Mr. Quarantine. Yeah, that's good. That's clean. Yeah, what we called or Mr. COVID. Yeah, we'll call him Mr. COVID. Okay. Yeah. When I dated Mr. COVID, is the guy that I quarantine with. Um I don't want to get too deep in the woods, but when the George Floyd thing happened and he was white of a different race, and he like wanted to flaunt me around with his friends. I literally felt like there was a point where I was like, I just don't want to be around your other white friends and just be like your black girlfriend. Then everyone like all of a sudden is aware, is aware now that people are everyone's like, there is a black girl in our presence. Right. And and and black people have it very hard right now. Like, like that's what it felt like. It felt like everyone was like, I didn't realize that race was an issue. Like this girl has been stereotyped for being black before in her life. Yes, and and now he has a black girlfriend. Let's ask her about how she feels about the fact that one of that one of her cousins got killed. Like, that's what it felt like. And it really, and I and I hated that feeling. But like, but it but it did feel like that was like my now my new identity that like not only am I Mr. Covid's girlfriend, I'm Mr. Covid's black girlfriend. That now we have to like hand hold and be like, I'm so sorry this happened. This is happening to your community. Like, I don't need this right now. Yeah, you go, I'll be here. And he really was like actually upset about that because it he was like he was also kind of a pussy, right? He was so emotionally immature.

Corinne 29:31

Like I he was emotionally immature, but he was also sensitive. Like I feel like you and I do really poorly with sensitive guys.

Alyse 29:38

Yes, and that is actually like one of the questions I formulated for was Corinne for what ex I would take back. I would take him back, I would take him back. Not college? only because he has all of the qualities. Like, I think you can outgrow being insecure. You can grow into maturity, as we talked about, like your husband did. But I do think like he was very type A. Like, honestly, during quarantine, I didn't move a I didn't move a muscle, I didn't do a thing. He he would go to the grocery store every day, he would make me breakfast, he would bring me coffee and he would maybe coffee in bed. He would like be like, look at noon, we're opening the bottle of wine, and then this is what we're having for dinner. Like he he was very, very on it. And even too, like when he he used to travel for work, he I remember like he got he had to end up changing his flight or going or something when his friend's birthday was. Okay, he like called the restaurant in advance, like organize organize the whole thing that his presence wasn't known. Like he he was very on top. This is a that's very abnormal. My dream man, honestly. Yeah, qualities, not that. Yeah, for him to be like Saul's like remember I went to like Indiana twice during COVID or whatever. Yeah, I don't remember, but like he organized the whole entire thing. Mind you again, like he was a crazy pants because then he turned around and he he owes me $217.

Corinne 30:56

So but like Do you notice the 17? Like, who cares? Just round that.

Alyse 31:02

What's what's funny is that one of my best guy friends was like, Alyse I'll just give you the money. Because like I don't want to hear about it anymore. Like you and I was like, no, that's your $217. I want my $217. He owes me. He refused to. I was like, I'll go to Judge Judy and go to small claims court. Like, I will take it that far to make a to like make a point. Yeah. Because he can kiss my ass. Is kind of how I felt.

Corinne 31:23

Definitely want to ask this because I feel like you and I have different POVs. Okay. Should you ever offer to pay on a first date?

Alyse 31:31

Fuck no. And I'll give my spiel. So he had this conversation with my cousin at Christmas and he he doesn't like it. My guy cousin. Um he you what costs do men have? Yes. That are separate than women. That are separate than women. They get their hair cut more often, but Okay, that's how much? It's like $60 every couple weeks. Okay, so my nails. Hair. My nails cost my nails and my toes cost $120. My hair that's in my head, even from Amazon, is $70 fucking dollars. Okay. Get two packs, that's $140. Um, my foundation, $60. Um, concealer, $30. Blush, $30. You're not even talking about the big stuff.

Corinne 32:14

No, and I'm right. Like Botox, I get clothes. Easy gel. Clothes are soaked because we can't rewear any of them.

Alyse 32:20

Dude, but also, too, girls have to buy, you have to have a strapless bra, a regular bra, uh a crisscross bra.

Corinne 32:26

You gotta buy nippies and you have to replace them every so often because they start stanking.

Alyse 32:29

Exactly. And then right. And then you have um a mini skirt, a mini skirt, a maxi skirt. You have to have a mini dress, a maxi dress. There's so many things that women have to pay for, mind you. Have to pay for, by the way. We're saying have to. It is have to pay for. It's for happiness, it's for happiness. Yes. But like it's a woman, like if you have lip gloss, lip stain, lip liner, whatever, your lip combo costs $90 fucking dollars. And you're gonna lose it eventually. And so you're expecting me to show up on a date, carry the conversation, because I'm obviously funnier, wittier, and the smarter one in the situation, and you can't put your card down to pay for my little fucking $40 my $20 drink, and the fact that you're probably eating most of the food anyways.

Corinne 33:09

Yeah, I'm thinking, like, I'm trying to think about a first date. Cause Alyse knows, like It's been a while for Corinne obviously. I I think I'm pretty flexible about like splitting regular costs because I'm a corporate working girly. Um, but I don't think I would on a first date. So your cousin felt the opposite. Like he felt that you should at least do the thing.

Alyse 33:31

No, well I just asked him, I was like, what I was like, what costs do men have? And he was like, gas. I'm like gas. Like I was like, things that are specific to women or men. Yeah. He just like doesn't get it. I don't think so.

Corinne 33:42

But Okay, let's ask the other one then. Uh now that we're on the subject of money, should you ever pay for your own flight when you're going to visit a guy? That's crazy. No. Yes, I would pay for my own flight. Literally, I would pay for my own flight. That's wild. I would pay for my own flight.

Alyse 33:57

No, you wouldn't, Corinne.

Corinne 33:58

You don't think so? If I was going to visit a guy?

Alyse 34:02

If if a guy asks you to go visit, you would pay for your flight. You know what? I believe her, and this is what's sad. I believe you.

Corinne 34:09

I think I would pay for my own flight. I'm the one flying.

Alyse 34:12

But he's the one that wants you to come.

Corinne 34:15

But I would want to go too. Like it's not like I'm going against my will. It's my choice, and it would feel like a vacation. Am I just not thinking about it right? She's been in a relationship for too long. She doesn't get the ins and outs of it. Yeah, okay. That's okay. So you're telling me that the right morally that that in your opinion, like to be to have self-respect for yourself, you should not pay for that.

Alyse 34:35

No, and I know I like I think I talked to you about Morgan Stewart before, and you're like, I have no clue who that is. But someone asked her that on the podcast, and she was, I'll have to send you the clip. And she was like, fuck no. She's like, and I have to fuck him too. I have to have to pay and fuck him. Fuck no. She was like, which is really true.

Corinne 34:49

Um that is true. Okay, we've been talking for so long, but I don't want to like discredit the most underrated spot in Chicago because I definitely feel like you have a take for this.

Alyse 34:59

Yes. Which why is it lost on me?

Corinne 35:01

A secret take. Underrated. You can have a couple. Like, what first came to mind that you feel like people don't give enough clout?

Alyse 35:08

Um, and I know that I have a specific answer and I can't think of it.

Corinne 35:13

Okay. Well, we talked about Kerryman in the last episode.

Alyse 35:17

That place on I do think the Kerryman, yes. I also think that Akiro Handroll bar we went to. Like it is like people are talking about it, but it's not like It's not like getting what it really deserves. Yeah, because I think it's so good. What other place? This is not my real answer. I'm so sorry. I don't know why it's like drawn. Like, it's almost like when people ask me, where should I go? And I'm like, it's like I've never been anywhere ever in my life.

Corinne 35:40

Yeah, I feel like you always have good answers for me. I know. Um, this is a good one. This is like so good. What makes you want to embrace being online?

Alyse 35:51

Um yeah, I mean, I guess that goes into unfortunately the credit of my ex. Like, I think I start, I mean, I was posting on TikTok. Honestly, but we were together because we were going to so many places, he was like, You should be posting.

Corinne 36:01

Oh, wait, I do want to back up and say one thing about Alyse that I know. Like, despite what Alyse does, the funniest thing to me is that like she like she does not want to take a picture. Like, no, it's like the biggest chore ever. So, like, when she started doing this, and she's always been this way, she's great at taking pictures. No. But I feel like if it comes to having to take a photo of herself, she's like, No, thank you. So when she started to do it, I just know like she hated having to like clip her own self, like have to revisit myself. I mean, this is painful for me. It was pain, yes. Everything is yeah, but you still do it. And people you have come a long way.

Alyse 36:39

Well, one of my friends did say, she was like, Alyse, I noticed when you post things for girls who collab, you're never in it. And I was like, Yeah, because it's like a dream come true. Yeah, it's like a perfect situation. Yeah, that it's like is supposed to be like not about me. It's supposed to be like that's nice, the content creators' influencers of Chicago, but like I don't want to be in it, and I don't think but it is honestly. So Corinne, I um Abercrombie asked me to do like some UGC like a month ago when Corinne had to step in and be the photographer, and she did really, really well. But I do think that she was like scared to like even me. Exactly. And and she's like, I love them. I asked people to take pictures of me, and I just like want an outfit pick. So like I think my face is in it, and I'm just like mean mugging. They're like, Do you want to smile? I'm like, no. Yeah, like I'm not gonna put my face. Like it, there's a there's a no world where I'm gonna like utilize this and put my face in it.

Corinne 37:27

Well, we also have I feel like I was a little scared because of the last time I made content for you, it was when we were went to the Detroit game. Or the we didn't go to the Lions game, but we had been drinking all day. And granted, like I do like I even though I'm not in like the influencer world, like I do have an eye. Like I think I can see a good photo or I can like admire a good photo at the very least. So like she trusts me enough to not usually be like a bag of shit. Yeah. But I was so wasted and she was trying to do this a voiceover, this voiceover, but then the TikTok got messed up because then the sound was gone because we had done it literally so many times. So many times. And she's getting more and more irritated, like trying to do it. And mind you, there's like strangers just being strangers. Like, I'm clearly taking a video of her. Right. This girl comes up, she's like, You want me to take a picture?

Alyse 38:19

And we're like, No, we're we're like, at first we're nice. We're like, no, that's okay. So yeah, we were nice too. But we're already like tense amongst each other. Yeah, it's tense. And Corinne's tense because I'm tense, because I'm like the shop.

Corinne 38:30

And it's really hot. Alyse has this rule, which is a great rule, where you don't dress for the weather, you dress for the outfit, which I think is really great advice because like as somebody who I don't know, like I just don't always have the vision. Sometimes though, if I like an outfit, just wear that outfit. Yeah. Like, and so we were wearing outfits for slightly colder weather.

Alyse 38:50

Yeah, and it was like in September, but it ended up being like 65 degrees or something. No, it was way hotter because I was like, I think it was like 82. Yeah, and I was wearing like a bomber jacket.

Corinne 38:59

Yeah, so we were hot. Yeah. We were hot and drunk and just wanted to go to the next bar. Yeah. And we were, but we were like, we gotta finish this content. Exactly.

Alyse 39:06

So the fact that she asked, and then we were like, no, thanks. And she just still stayed stood there like looking dumb and asked again. We were like, scram.

Corinne 39:14

Like, get out of there. I didn't actually say scram. But like, that's how it felt. And then there was like this people, this like guy just walked, we were recording, and this guy just like walks in the middle. It just like was this whole scene. It was so I was a little nervous to take content.

Both 39:26

Yeah, but we're getting off track with the. But what was what was funny though about that story is that then me and Corinne um We went to a bar. Then we went to the bar afterwards, but mind you, we didn't talk all the way there.

Corinne 39:35

The whole way there. It was like a it was like a 10-minute walk.

Alyse 39:37

Yeah, and we were like we were like walking separately, like like parallel, but like a distance. And so then, and literally we get into the bar, she goes like, Can we just take a shot and like be okay? And I'm like, Yeah, I'm actually really sorry for like being mean. Like it was one of those things where we're just like, Can we just take a shot and like move on?

Corinne 39:52

Like, just because it's a waste of time. Like you know that we're not gonna actually give a shit about this now. It was just like a waste of energy.

Alyse 39:58

And that was actually our first like trip solo together. Ever? Maybe. Besides like the one time we went to that G Eazy concert and like drove and stayed at my parents'.

Corinne 40:07

Oh, that's right. Okay, wait, but you were saying I was saying how you don't love content of yourself.

Alyse 40:13

I was saying, yes, and I was saying that the reason why I started doing content was because, honestly, it was because of my breakup, and I kind of wanted to be able to like look back and see why that I was being a person. Like, yeah, although I was so sad, I remember just being like, okay, but I feel like I'm gonna look back and romanticize the fact that I I went to the grocery store. Like, I was still being like an abled body person. I mean, and and mind you too, I was like, I feel like I was compromising a lot of things that I said I wouldn't do to do because I wanted to work. Like I was making a pot roast. I was like, she was a pot roast. And I always said I would never live with a guy before I was engaged. And I was willing to do that because it was important for him. And I moved to an apartment I didn't move into. Like I was making a lot of concessions, and mind you, I do think this is because I was 26. I would never make those concessions now, which is why when people get married younger than 30, I'm like it's a little, yeah.

Corinne 41:02

Well, like, yeah. Devon and I even say, like I get confused. I just worried. When we got married, it felt like the perfect time we got married because you know how people say there's like the seven-year slump.

Alyse 41:12

Mm-hmm.

Corinne 41:12

Like we got past that. Because I really do think at some at one point you just like kind of hate each other. Yeah. And then you just like, because you get through that, you love each other even more. Right. And you realize it's hard work, blah, blah, blah. Okay, anyways, but this is about like why you started. Yeah. Wasn't it kind of like after you guys broke up and you were like, I'm not gonna stop going to the restaurants. Right. I'm not gonna stop having these experiences.

Alyse 41:35

Because I did like, I do think there's this thing when you break up with someone that you do think like to a degree elevates your life in a monetary way. You think I did think like when we broke up, I think that's the reason why I brought these things. Right. That's what took me so long to actually like come to terms with it. I will say about talking about him is that I'm not a proud person and I don't let my ego get me in the way of things. That I know I'm not talking about him that I'm like, I want him back, and like we should have worked out. Right. No, but like this was like a big I think it it was almost like a canon event. It was that like everyone has this person or comes to terms with this person. I think I was just dating a whole bunch of people I didn't like or didn't even really like know what I wanted out of life, and it came to me at 26 and I've stuck to my guns, and I'm like proud of myself for doing that. Totally. So that's the reason why I'm like so able to reminisce on it. Because we did, yeah, it was a decision. Yeah, right? Like, it was a decision, yeah. She could have chosen a different path than she's in today.

Corinne 42:28

Yes, exactly. But I I could be married with kids right now, and I'm really happy that that is not what I'm doing. Yep. Despite being single and not married yet, and like not having what I thought I would have by the age of 31. Yeah. I wouldn't, if I were to do it over it, I would do this exact, do it the exact same way. Yes. Um love that. But I did think that I or I like I was doing it to like kind of have like a diary to look back and see like I was still functioning. Right. And then I still like again was still going to the restaurants. I did think like, how am I supposed to afford this to do this? Because he was paying for like all the dinners, but I mean I still did it. I made it work. Right. And now I get invited to restaurants. I was gonna say in the beginning you were forcing it to work. Yeah, you did it regardless. No, and I and then now over time, because you built a community and a company around it, yeah. You've made so many great friends through this process because of it. Like you made it, so now it's just like you it's your lifestyle. Yeah. And it's not like I feel like you don't associate nice restaurants or those experiences with him anymore. You associated with like, I went there with this group for this thing.

Alyse 43:30

Yeah, I think I can acknowledge that he's the one that like transitioned me and put me on, but I do think this would have always been where it went, anyways. There did come a point where I was just like, had to stop caring about what people Oh my gosh, yeah. Thought about it. How did you do that? Because also, too, honestly, it's what you said. Corinne also was the one that was like, when you turn 30, you just stopped giving a fuck. She was the one that gave me that little um synopsis and like MO or disclaimer. It's true, it's true. That that was what. That that was like a life-changing, life-altering situation. I do think turning 30 before it came.

Corinne 44:05

Right. Because how can you say to yourself, I'm a 30-year-old and I care what other people think? It's just almost like embarrassing. Like, what do you mean you care what other people think? You're 30. When I think of like 14-year-old me would think 30 is about to drop dead. Like, how am I gonna be 30 and caring about what people think when I know that behind closed doors, they're just as confused as I am. But the thing is, is like we're all cosplaying. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, nobody really knows what they're doing. Everyone's pretending. No. Like everybody goes home and has the same anxious swirl. Everyone does a thing. It's just whether they're I think personally, like you and I are pretty open about like our pits. Yeah. A lot of people aren't. A lot of people just are like, yeah, it was whatever.

Alyse 44:46

And I'm like, no, no, no, you were nervous as fuck, just like me. It's yeah. And honestly, when you think about it, two decades is enough to be miserable. Yes. Like you have to get like there's comes a point where you have to just like you're doing it yourself. Alviate yourself from this pain and suffering of caring what other people think. Yes. So like there comes a time. So I do think that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I do think that it was just like something clicked that I'm like, I want this. And I like do think I have a lot to share and a lot to like give. Like, I do think I am the opinionated friend. I do think I am like the one that's fine.

Corinne 45:15

If you need her to have a take, she will have a take. Will she maybe change her mind after an experience helps her? Yeah. Yes. But I don't care because honestly, I love a strong opinion. Yeah. Because then it it like, then we can actually have interesting dialogue.

Alyse 45:29

Well, also, I give enough context to where it makes sense. Like, yeah. Like I don't just say shit and I have like nothing to back it up. Sure. Yeah. And I don't like this people. Like, I'm just not like, here's my opinion. What proof do you have? None. Moving on. Like, that's stupid. Because like I have um, and I think it's like again, because I'm science-based, like, I think because I have a science degree. I no matter what it is, who it is, whatever, I need the evidence to support my yes, to support it. Like, yes. I meet someone's example of a hot dog. Like, like I meet someone and I'm like, they give me bad vibes. Like it, I was like, intuitively, their energy disgruntles me and I don't like it. And then later I'm like waiting for the evidence to present itself to verify. Yes. Also that with exes, a lot of my exes I talk about, they broke up with me because they felt my energy pull back and they knew I didn't give a fuck.

Corinne 46:19

Yeah.

Alyse 46:19

Because how do you just say to someone, I don't like you because you just like you just don't fit the bill? It because I would wait for them to do something that you could that I could use as an excuse to break up with them. That's so and they again, and they weren't and they weren't bad people. I just knew they weren't my person.

Corinne 46:34

Yes. It's so different. That's like breakups are so hard for that reason alone. Like I think we talk about this all the time. People just stay in relationships. Yeah. Like we're probably thinking of the same couple right now, where it's like you guys are are just comfy dating. I get it, but like you're not actually thinking about whether the person is compatible, compatible for your life.

Alyse 46:55

What are we thinking about? Okay, we'll we'll talk about it. Um I agree. No, I get what you I I think I know what you're talking about.

Corinne 47:03

No, you don't. The way she's looking at me right now, like her eyes are literally so far back. Okay, wait, let's do this last one. What is something no one knows about you?

Alyse 47:12

I mean, I said it like I think I am like a hopeless romantic. I don't think people were like, I I don't think I don't think everyone like sees that side or like gets that. I don't think everyone gets that side out of me.

Corinne 47:20

Yeah.

Alyse 47:21

Like, I don't think everyone gets like the like let's take a bath together, like let's like I'll make you an Easter basket. Like let's do like I don't think.

Corinne 47:30

Alyse loves all the fun things, but like you are there is a part of you that's like this wholesome Michigan girl that like loves a nice hike, loves a nice view. Like that's what it is.

Alyse 47:39

You know what I mean? Actually, that is what it is. It is what people don't know about me is that I actually am very outdoorsy and I would rather be outdoors in the middle of fucking nowhere than be in the city.

Corinne 47:48

Yeah, it's it's like makes no sense. The other thing I was gonna say that I think of that not everyone knows about you is like the way you just like love Marvel movies. Oh, it's like it doesn't for me complete the brand.

Alyse 48:00

I like No, but I actually do think like the outdoorsiness. Like I rem That is huge. When I when actually when I went to Napa and we were like driving to the um resort where we were staying, I did say, I said, I could literally put your tent in the middle of nowhere and like live here. You could. And my ex was like, I actually I agree. And he's like, I don't think a lot of people actually know that. That like this is where you feel most grounded and happiest. Like you love the city, you love to be able to walk to things, but like Napa being out in the open, sunny, good weather. If you want to go to a nice restaurant, you could. You are a both girl. I like you just are, like you can appreciate, and that's what like I have an Enagram six or some seven, whichever one's like the one that's like in the middle.

Both 48:42

Oh it's like another one, those tests. No, I yeah, I know I've taken an Enneagram. I don't like mine. What is yours? I'm like, I think it's type four, which is the one where I think like nobody understands me.

Corinne 48:52

Like it's like she's like a song. So complicated. Yeah, like the song. Um, like they're like you identify with the song creep, you know? Oh, that's so funny. I don't belong here. Like, yeah, ew. It's gross. I just feel like it's like one of those things like stop thinking, stop feeling so self-important that you think nobody thinks the thoughts you think. It just is embarrassing to me that I'm type four. What type are you? I think a six or a seven. I have to redo it. Okay. Anyways.

Both 49:19

Okay. Thank you guys again for listening. Thank you. My name's Alyse. I'm Corinne. And see you guys next week. I'm no, we need to get petition for Corinne to just be like a regular. That we just like honestly that we actually just need a podcast, but she's like too busy. Dude, you're funny. We better get funny allegations on this. I want like every review to be like, you guys are so funny.

Corinne 49:39

No, I like funny allegations. That's a good phrase. Did you say that? Yeah. What? I want people to allegate that we're funny. Yeah, that we're hilarious. We know that though. That guy told us.

Alyse 49:50

One guy told us we're funny. People tell us.

Corinne 49:52

And he meant it from the bottom of his heart. He did.

Both 49:54

Okay, bye. Bye.