Marionette Doll's
The Marionette Doll represents the delicate balance between control and surrender. This symbol mirrors the experience of those shaped by trauma and the process of reclaiming agency over one’s life.
In childhood, the marionette can embody the feeling of being pulled by invisible strings of emotions, expectations, or circumstances beyond our control. Each string reflects an external influence: family, society, fear, or survival instincts that guided us before we could guide ourselves. The wooden frame, fragile yet enduring, symbolizes the resilience we carry even when we feel manipulated or voiceless.
Yet, there is a beauty within the marionette, too. When the strings move in harmony, the doll dances; it becomes expressive, graceful, and alive. In this light, the marionette also represents the healing potential: the process of learning which strings to cut, which to keep, and how to move with intention rather than compulsion. It is the story of regaining authorship of transforming from being controlled to becoming the choreographer of one’s own movements.
Marionette Dolls explores these themes through honest conversations about mental health, trauma, and recovery. It’s about acknowledging the strings that once controlled us and, together, learning how to move freely again.
Marionette Doll's
No Regerts: We Need to Talk About Steve
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Why do people get tattoos?
For some, they're works of art. For others, they're reminders of the people they've loved, the battles they've survived, or the identities they've built along the way. In this episode of Psycho Babble, Sarah and Crystal explore the fascinating psychology behind tattoos and why humans have been marking their bodies for thousands of years.
From ancient tattoo traditions and cultural identity to memorial tattoos, trauma recovery, self-expression, belonging, and even tattoo regret, we examine what tattoos can reveal about human behavior and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are.
Along the way, we discuss grief, healing, pain, stereotypes, first impressions, and why a simple piece of ink can carry a lifetime of meaning.
Whether you're covered in tattoos, have one you've been hiding from your parents for years, or have never considered getting one at all, this episode explores the psychology behind one of humanity's oldest forms of self-expression.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.
Welcome back to the dollhouse.
SarahI'm Crystal and I'm Sarah and we are the Marionette dolls.
SPEAKER_03You know just how to twist a job. Make the angels feel like a lucky job. I shouldn't remember here and I did uploading your wicked little plan.
SarahWelcome back to the dollhouse, y'all. Thank you guys for listening and exactly. And I wanted to announce that we did hit 500 downloads. Yeah. Since we started in January, so that's good. So please continue to share episodes as they come out. Hopefully, we you know put out something that you guys are interested in or that you feel deeply about. If you haven't been able to connect to any of the topics we have so far, I apologize, but we're still beginning. We'll get there. And you could reach out and send us stuff that you want to listen to or about. Exactly. Just um check out our link in the bo in the description box. In our bio. In our bio. Well, on our social medias, it is in our bio. So yeah, check it out. We're on all platforms. And if you're listening right now, obviously you know that. But for your friends, spread it out. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not trying to insult your intelligence only, huh? But let's jump in today's episode.
CrystalBefore we get into the psychology of tattoos, I have to ask, how many tattoos do you have?
SarahI had a feeling we were gonna start here.
CrystalAnd it feels important. We're doing an entire episode about tattoos. People are going to wonder.
SarahThat's fair. Hmm. Three, four, five, six, six, I believe. I can think off the top of my head. I feel like I'm missing. No, seven. I'm missing one. I think what's funny is that people assume tattoos are either something deeply meaningful or completely impulsive. Sometimes they're both.
CrystalI think that's what makes tattoos interesting. You can have one person who spent five years planning a tattoo, and then another person who walked into a shop on a random Tuesday and said, you know what? Sounds like a great idea today.
SarahAnd somehow both people leave happy.
CrystalHopefully.
SarahHopefully.
CrystalWhat's funny is that tattoos feel like a modern thing, maybe because they're everywhere now.
SarahI think a lot of people assume tattoos become popular recently. In reality, humans have been tattooing themselves for thousands and thousands of years.
CrystalWhich honestly surprised me. I knew tattoos were old. I didn't realize they were ancient.
SarahVery ancient. One of the most famous examples is a man called Let's see, the Iceman. He lived over 5,000 years ago. 5,000 years? That's oh.
CrystalThat's older than most of the things I could even comprehend.
SarahSame. And when researchers found his body preserved in the Alps, they discovered he had dozens of tattoos.
CrystalWhich immediately makes me wonder what tattoo removal looked like back then.
SarahI have some unfortunate news. I suspect as much. What's fascinating is that many of his tattoos weren't decorative. Researchers think some may have been placed near painful joints in areas of chronic discomfort.
CrystalSo one of the oldest tattooed people we've ever found may have been getting tattoos for pain relief?
SarahPossibly. Which means one of humanity's first tattoo stories might have started with my back hurts. Honestly, that's relatable. Very relatable.
CrystalBut that's what I find so interesting. If tattoos were around 5,000 years ago, then clearly this isn't just a trend.
SarahExactly. And that's where things get really interesting because tattoos weren't unique to one culture. They'll appear all over the world, each in Egypt, Polynesia, Japan, indigenous cultures throughout North and South America. Different groups develop tattoo traditions independently.
CrystalWhich means people separated by ocean somehow landed on the same idea.
SarahRight? Nobody was posting tattoos, inspirations on social media. There wasn't a global trend. Yet humans across different places and time periods kept deciding to mark their skin.
CrystalAnd that feels important because if people keep doing the same thing over thousands of years, there's probably a reason.
SarahPsychologists would agree. Human beings rarely spent this much time repeating a behavior unless it's serving some kind of purpose.
CrystalAnd tattoos seem to serve a lot of purposes.
SarahThey do. For some cultures, tattoos represent family lineage. For others, social status, spiritual beliefs, achievement, protection, community membership, sometimes all of those things at once.
CrystalSo a tattoo wasn't necessarily decoration, it was information.
SarahIt told people something about who you are.
CrystalKind of like wearing a permanent name tag, except much cooler.
SarahMuch cooler.
CrystalOne thing I've always wondered is why humans seem so determined to decorate themselves, not just tattoos, piercings, hairstyles, jewelry, clothing. People have always found a way to change how they look.
SarahThat's actually something psychologists study. A lot of it comes down to identity. Human beings are constantly communicating who they are. Sometimes we're doing it consciously, sometimes we're not.
CrystalSo even somebody who says, I don't care what people think, is still communicating something.
SarahAbsolutely. The decision not to participate can become part of someone's identity too. Everything from clothing choices to music preferences tells a story. Tattoos are one of the most permanent versions of that. And maybe one of the boldest, because once it's there, it's there. Exactly. A shirt can go in the closet, hairstyle can change, tattoos. It's much harder to walk away from.
CrystalUnless you're willing to spend a small fortune and sit through laser treatments.
SarahWhich I've heard are significantly less fun than getting the tattoo.
CrystalThat's what everybody says. It's almost like your body doesn't enjoy being blasted with lasers.
SarahApparently not.
CrystalHumans really looked at his skin and decided there was no comfortable way to customize it.
SarahWe seem committed to that philosophy.
CrystalSomething else I've noticed is that tattoos seem to satisfy two completely opposite needs. People want to belong, but they also want to be unique.
SarahThat's actually a huge concept in psychology. We all have a need for connection. We want to feel accepted. We want a community. At the same time, we want to feel like individuals. We want to be recognized as our own person. And tattoos somehow do both. A tattoo can connect someone to a culture, family, military unit, religion, or community. And at the same time, it can feel deeply personal, something that belongs only to them.
CrystalWhich is probably why tattoos never really go away. The style changes, the technology changes, the meaning stays.
SarahThat's a great way to put it. For thousands of years, humans have been using tattoos to tell stories. The tools have evolved. The need behind them really hasn't.
CrystalAnd that's why I think we're headed next. Because we've talked about how long tattoos have existed. What we haven't talked about is why somebody decides to get one in the first place.
SarahBecause the answer is rarely as simple as people think.
CrystalSometimes it's meaningful. Sometimes it's impulsive. Sometimes it's both. And that's where the psychology starts getting really interesting.
SarahIf tattoos have ex existed for thousands of years, there has to be something they're doing for us psychologically.
CrystalSo let's talk about the question everybody asks at some point.
SarahWhy do people get tattoos at all? The funny thing is that people ask that question like there's one answer. There isn't. Not even close.
CrystalI've met people who spent years designing a tattoo. I've also met people who got one because their friend said, You won't.
SarahBoth of those people exist and somehow both end up the same tattoo shop.
CrystalOne arrives with a folder full of research, the other arrives with confidence and poor judgment.
SarahA dangerous combination.
CrystalHistorically proven to create some incredible stories.
SarahWhat's interesting is that when researchers ask people why they get tattoos, the answer usually falls into a few categories: identity, memory, self-expression, belonging, achievement, grief, sometimes rebellion, and sometimes simple aesthetics.
CrystalWhich makes sense because tattoos are one of the few things people choose to carry with them everywhere.
SarahMost possessions stay at home, most memories stay in our heads, and tattoos stay with us.
CrystalThat's actually kind of a big commitment when you think about it. I struggle to pick a phone wallpaper.
SarahMeanwhile, some people are deciding what they'll be looking at every morning for the next 40 years. And that confidence is impressive. Or terrifying. Depends on the tattoo. Fair. One thing psychologists find fascinating is that tattoos can become part of a person's identity. Identity isn't something we're born with, it's something we build. We're constantly figuring out who we are, what matters to us, what kind of person we want to be. And tattoos can become a little marker along that journey. A tattoo might represent a value, a belief, a milestone, a turning point, a relationship, or an accomplishment. It's often less about the image itself and more about what the image represents.
CrystalAnd I think people forget that part. They see a tattoo and think they're looking at artwork. The person wearing it is usually looking at a memory.
SarahThat's a great distinction because tattoos function a lot like symbols. The image itself isn't necessarily what's important, it's the meaning attached to it. Kind of like a wedding ring. Objectively, it's just a ring. What makes it important is what it represents. Tattoos work the same way.
CrystalWhich explains why two people can have identical tattoos that mean completely different things.
SarahOne person gets a compass because they love traveling, another gets a compass because it reminds them of a parent who passed away. Same image, different story.
CrystalAnd honestly, that's one of my favorite things about tattoos. You never really know the story unless someone tells you.
SarahSometimes the story is incredibly personal, sometimes it's surprisingly simple.
CrystalSometimes the story is I thought it looked cool.
SarahAnd that's perfectly valid. I think people sometimes overcomplicate this conversation. Not every tattoo represents a childhood trauma. Thank goodness. Some people simply enjoy art, some people like decorating their bodies, some people appreciate aesthetics. There's nothing psychologically wrong with that.
CrystalI feel like social media has convinced people that every tattoo needs 20-minute explanation.
SarahSometimes a dragon is just a dragon.
CrystalYeah, we deserve stickers.
SarahRight? Although what's interesting is that even when people think they're choosing tattoos purely because they like the design, there can still be a psychological influence they're not fully aware of.
CrystalOkay, now you've got my attention.
SarahWell, think about it. Why do you like certain images? Why are you drawn to certain themes? Why do people love nature tattoos while others love geometric designs? Why do some people choose dark imagery while others prefer bright colors? Our preferences don't appear out of nowhere. They're often connected to our experiences, personality, interests, and values.
CrystalSo even when people think they're making a random choice, there may be more happening underneath the surface.
SarahNot necessarily in a dramatic way, but our choices often tell us something about ourselves.
CrystalThat's actually kind of cool because now I'm imagining people listening to this episode and staring at the tattoos, trying to psychoanalyze themselves.
SarahPlease don't blame us for any existential crisis, please.
CrystalToo late. We've already started.
unknownDang it.
SarahSomething else researchers have noticed is that tattoos can serve as reminders. And I don't just mean memorial tattoos. People get tattoos to remind themselves of goals, values, life lessons, recovery, personal growth. Sometimes a tattoo acts almost like a permanent note to yourself.
CrystalA very expensive sticky note.
SarahPermanent sticky note. Which somehow makes it funnier. But seriously, there's there are people who look at tattoos every day and use it as motivation. It reminds them where they've been or where they're trying to go. I now want to get like a sticky note tattoo. So bad.
CrystalSo we can write in it. Yes. Oh my gosh. And then we can erase it. Yeah. That's so smart. And that's where tattoos start to become more than decoration, though.
SarahThey're carrying meaning. For some people, a tattoo becomes part of their personal story, not the whole story. Just one chapter, one reminder, and one moment captured in time.
CrystalWhich is interesting because the older I get, the more I realize people are constantly looking for ways to preserve important moments. Photos, videos, journals, keepsakes. Tattoos kind of fit into that category.
SarahThey do. In many ways, tattoos are one of humanity's oldest memory keeping tools. There's a way of saying this matters.
CrystalAnd sometimes what mattered wasn't a moment, sometimes it was a person.
SarahWhich brings us to one of the most emotional reasons people get tattoos, not to express who they are, not to show where they've been, but to hold on to someone they love.
CrystalBecause if you spent any time around tattoo culture, you've probably seen memorial tattoos.
SarahAnd what makes those tattoos so fascinating isn't the artwork. It's what they're trying to preserve. A connection. A memory.
CrystalA relationship that continues even after someone is gone.
SarahAnd that's where our conversation turns next. Grief, remembrance, and why so many people choose to carry their loved ones with them in ink.
CrystalI think memorial tattoos are probably some of the most emotional tattoos people get. Even if you've never had one yourself, you've probably seen them. Names, dates, handwriting, portraits, angel wings, birth flowers, coordinates, all kinds of things.
SarahWhat's interesting is that memorial tattoos are incredibly common across cultures. People have always looked for ways to remember those that they've lost. The method changed over time, but the motivation stays remarkably similar.
CrystalBecause losing someone is weird. That's the best way I can describe it. One day someone is a part of your daily life and then suddenly they're not. But your relationship with them doesn't just disappear.
SarahThat's actually a really important point. For a long time, people thought healthy grieving meant letting go and moving on. Modern grief research doesn't really support that idea.
CrystalI think a lot of people will be surprised to hear that.
SarahThe older model of grief suggested that eventually you detach from the person and move forward. Newer research talks more about something called continuing bonds. Which sounds much nicer, honestly. And it really does. The idea is that healthy grieving doesn't necessarily mean ending the relationship emotionally, it means changing the relationship.
CrystalCan you explain that? Because I think that's something a lot of people feel but don't know how to put into words.
SarahAbsolutely. When someone dies, the physical relationship ends. You can't call them, you can't visit them, and you can't create new memories with them. But that doesn't mean that they stop existing in your life psychologically. People think about them, they talk about them, and remember their advice, carry their values, tell stories about them. In that sense, the relationship continues. It's just different.
CrystalI actually love that because I think most people who have lost someone understand exactly what you're talking about. There are people who have been gone for years and you still hear their voice in your head.
SarahAnd memorial tattoos can become part of a continuing bond. They're not necessarily about refusing to move forward, they're about carrying the relationship forward in a different way.
CrystalThat's probably why memorial tattoos feel so different from other tattoos. They're not really about self-expression, they're about connection.
SarahOften yes. And one thing researchers have found is that rituals can be incredibly important during grief. Human beings naturally create rituals when dealing with loss, funerals, memorial services, anniversaries, visiting graves, looking at photographs. Tattoos can become another form of ritual.
CrystalI've never really thought about it that way.
SarahAnd for some people, the tattoo process itself becomes meaningful. They spend time planning it, choosing the sign, thinking about what they want it to represent. And sometimes family members are involved, sometimes friends are involved, and the tattoos become part of how they honor someone's memory.
CrystalI think that's why these tattoos can be so personal because they're not just remembering a person, they're remembering a relationship.
SarahThat's beautifully put. Because grief isn't really about losing a person in the abstract. It's about losing your specific relationship with that person, the jokes you share, the traditions, conversations, experiences. That's what people are missing.
CrystalOne thing I've noticed is that memorial tattoos aren't always sad.
SarahThat's true.
CrystalPeople assume grief is always serious and heavy. Sometimes memorial tattoos are funny. Sometimes they're joyful. Sometimes they're based on inside jokes.
SarahThose are the best.
CrystalSometimes they're based on something completely ridiculous that only two people would understand.
SarahAnd those are the best too. And that's actually consistent with what we know about grief. Healthy grieving isn't about being sad all the time. People often move back and forth between sadness, gratitude, humor, anger, love, and reflection. The emotional experience is much more complicated than most people realize.
CrystalI knew someone who got a tattoo of a coffee cup after losing a family member. At first glance, it looked random. Then they explained that every important conversation they ever had with that person happened over coffee. Suddenly it wasn't a coffee cup anymore. It was a relationship.
SarahAww, and that's a perfect example of symbolism. To everyone else, it's a cup. And to the person wearing it, it's an entire story.
CrystalWhich I think is why tattoos can sometimes be difficult to understand from the outside. You're only seeing the picture. You're not seeing the memory attached to it.
SarahAnd sometimes the simplest tattoos carry the most meaning. People often assume meaningful tattoos need to be larger or elaborate. And that's not necessarily true. A small symbol can hold decades of emotional significance.
CrystalAnd I think that's why people get so protective of memorial tattoos. They're not just protecting the artwork, they're protecting what the tattoo represents.
SarahAbsolutely. Because in many ways the tattoo becomes linked to the memory itself. Not because the memory would disappear without it, but because the tattoo became a physical reminder of something emotionally important.
CrystalAnd honestly, I think there's something very human about that. We constantly looking for ways to hold on to people we love. Photos, videos, letters, keepsakes, jewelry. Tattoos just happen to be one more way of doing that.
SarahI agree. And whether someone chooses a tattoo or not, the underlying motivation is something most people can understand. The desire to remember, desire to stay connected, desire to carry someone forward. Those are deep, deeply human experiences.
CrystalBut grief isn't the only reason people use tattoos to mark important life experiences. Sometimes the story isn't about losing something. Sometimes it's about surviving something.
SarahAnd that brings us to another powerful part of tattoo culture. The people who use tattoos to reclaim, rebuild, or redefine parts of themselves after difficult experiences.
CrystalBecause some tattoos aren't about remembering the past, they're about taking ownership of the future.
SarahRecovery, survival, growth, healing. Those themes show up in tattoo stories all the time.
CrystalAnd that's where things get really interesting psychologically. And I think this might be one of the most misunderstood parts of tattoo culture because people see a tattoo and assume it's about the artwork. Sometimes it's about much more than that.
SarahDefinitely. I think it's important to make this distinction. Tattoos are not therapy and not a replacement for mental health treatment. They're not a cure for trauma.
CrystalThat's important. Because we're going to talk about healing. We're not gonna say tattoos magically fix emotional. I mean, it helps, but it doesn't fix emotional pain.
SarahExactly. What we're talking about is how some people use tattoos as part of their healing journey, not the entire journey, just one piece of it.
CrystalAnd honestly, once I started looking into this, I realized how common that is.
SarahIt's very common. Many people describe tattoos as marking a turning point on their lives. Not necessarily because the tattoos change them, but because it represents a change that has already happened.
CrystalKind of like a milestone marker.
SarahThat's a great way to put it. A tattoo might represent recovery from addiction, leaving an unhealthy relationship, surviving a serious illness, overcoming a difficult period of depression, completing military service, achieving a major life goal. The tattoo becomes a symbol of something they've already fought through.
CrystalI think that's why so many people use the word earned when talking about certain tattoos.
SarahAbsolutely. For some people, the tattoo feels less like decoration and more like recognition, a reminder of what they survived.
CrystalAnd that's very different from someone just like liking a design. Neither is wrong. They're just different experiences.
SarahAnd one of the things researchers talk about is the importance of agency. Agency is the feeling that you have control over your choices and your life. Trauma often disrupts that feeling. People can come away from traumatic experiences feeling powerless, helpless, or disconnected from themselves.
CrystalWhich makes sense. Trauma often involves situations where somebody didn't have control.
SarahRight. So for some individuals, choosing a tattoo can feel meaningful because it's an intentional choice. They're deciding what goes on their body, where it goes, what it means. The process can reinforce a sense of ownership and personal autonomy.
CrystalI never thought about it like that because when people hear body autonomy, they often think about medical decisions or major life choices, but tattoo fits into that conversation too.
SarahThey do. For some people, especially after they're after experiences where they felt powerless, making a deliberate decision about their own body can feel significant.
CrystalOne thing I've noticed is how often people talk about covering scars.
SarahThat's a huge part of tattoo culture. There are artists who specialize in scar cover-ups.
CrystalAnd we're talking about all kinds of scars: surgical scars, burn scars, injury, self harm.
SarahExactly. For many people, those scars tell a story they didn't choose. The tattoo allows them to decide what story they want to see moving forward.
CrystalThat's actually really powerful because the scar doesn't disappear. The history doesn't disappear, but the way they relate to it changes.
SarahAnd that's an important distinction. Tattoo isn't erasing the experience. It's changing the way the person engages with their experience.
CrystalI remember seeing photos of mastectomy tattoos while researching this episode. Some of them were absolutely incredible.
SarahThose are often discussed in research and survivor communities. Many breast cancer survivors describe those tattoos as helping them reconnect with their bodies after treatment.
CrystalBecause treatment can change how someone sees themselves.
SarahVery much so. Illness, surgeries, injuries, and trauma can affect body image. For some people, tattoos become a way of reclaiming ownership of the body that suddenly felt unfamiliar.
CrystalI think that's what stands out to me is a lot of these tattoos aren't about pretending something didn't happen. They're about acknowledging it did happen.
SarahThe message isn't often they never occurred. It's more like they occurred and I'm still here. And that's a huge difference. It really is. And that theme shows up repeatedly in recovery tattoo. People in addiction recovery often get sobriety dates, symbols representing milestones. Where does that remind them of why they keep going? Those tattoos almost function like an anchor. They can serve as a visual reminder of commitments people have made to themselves.
CrystalWhich is interesting because earlier we talked about tattoos as memory keeping tools. This feels similar, except instead of remembering a person, you're remembering a promise.
SarahI love that. Because that's exactly what some of these tattoos represent: a promise, a turning point, a decision, a version of yourself that fought through something difficult.
CrystalI think that's why the story resonates with people. Even listeners without tattoos probably understand the desire to mark an important chapter in life.
SarahAbsolutely. Humans have always created symbols around major life events, graduations, weddings, religious ceremonies, military service, retirement. We naturally look forward to a way to recognize these transitions. Tattoos can become one of those symbols.
CrystalAnd that's probably why tattoo stories can get emotional so quick. You think you're asking about a piece of artwork, then somebody is telling you about the hardest part of their life.
SarahVery true, because sometimes a tattoo is really a doorway into a much larger story.
CrystalNow, speaking of stories, we have to talk about something that comes up every time tattoos and psychology get discussed. I know exactly where you're going. Pain.
SarahPain.
CrystalBecause eventually somebody always asks the question if tattoos hurt, why do people keep getting more of them?
SarahAnd that question leads us into one of the most misunderstood conversations surrounding tattoos. The relationship between pain, coping, self-expression, and self-harm.
CrystalBecause from the outside, some people looking at tattooing and thinking, you're voluntarily letting somebody stab you with needles.
SarahWhich sounds alarming when you phrase it that way. I mean, I'm technically not wrong. You're not. But psychologically, tattooing and self-harm are very different experiences.
CrystalAll right, let's discuss and address the question that comes up every single time tattoos get discussed. Do tattoos hurt? Yes.
SarahNext section. Thank you for listening, everyone. We're kidding. But yes, tattoos hurt. The degree depends on the placement, the person, the size, and a hundred other factors.
CrystalI've always found it funny that people ask tattooed people if tattoos hurt. Like they're hoping the answer changed overnight. Right? No, mine came with a pillowtop mattress setting. Luxury tattooing. Exactly. But joking aside, I think this is where some people start getting confused because they'll say, if getting tattoos hurts, why do people enjoy it?
SarahOr they'll take a step further and ask whether tattoos are a form of self-harm. That's a question researchers have explained, and it's worth talking about carefully.
CrystalBecause on the surface, they can look similar. Pain is involved, skin is involved, something physical is happening.
SarahBut psychologically, they're usually very different experiences. One of the biggest differences is intent.
CrystalMeaning why somebody is doing it.
SarahExactly. Self-harm isn't generally associated with emotional distress and is often used as a coping mechanism to manage overwhelming emotions. The goal is usually emotional relief. Tattoo typically has a completely different purpose. People are getting artwork, making an experience, expressing an identity, celebrating a milestone, remembering someone. The pain isn't usually the goal, it's a byproduct of the process.
CrystalSo if I want a tattoo of a raven, the goal isn't pain, the goal is the raven.
SarahExactly. The discomfort is something you're willing to tolerate to achieve the outcome.
CrystalKind of like running a marathon. Nobody's doing it because they love shin splits. At least I hope not. If they are, that's a different episode.
SarahA completely different episode.
CrystalWhat's interesting though is that people often describe tattooing as therapeutic.
SarahThey do. And that's where things get nuanced. Therapeutic doesn't necessarily mean therapy. And that's an important distinction. For some people, the process feels meaningful. They're focused on something important. They're creating something permanent. They're marking a significant moment in their life. That experience can feel emotionally powerful.
CrystalI've heard people describe it as almost meditative.
SarahThat's actually pretty common. Still sitting um sitting still for hours, focusing on one thing, disconnecting from everyday stressors, thinking about the meaning behind the tattoo. Many people describe it as entering a very reflective state.
CrystalMeanwhile, I'm over here wondering how long I could sit still before becoming a problem.
SarahWell, that's another challenge entirely.
CrystalI think that's what's interesting is how different people experience tattoo pain. Some people hate every second of it, others act like they've spent the afternoon at a spa.
SarahAnd there's a biological reason for that. Pain perception varies tremendously from person to person. Previous experiences matter, stress level matters, expectations matter, location matters. Yes, it does. Even mood can influence how pain is experienced.
CrystalSo when someone says that tattoo didn't hurt at all, they're not necessarily lying.
SarahNot necessarily, though I occasionally have questions. What's fascinating is that pain isn't purely physical. Pain is both a physical and psychological experience. Our brains are constantly interpreting sensory information. Meaning and context can influence how something feels.
CrystalSo a tattoo and accidental injury might hurt physically, but emotionally they're completely different experiences.
SarahOne is chosen, one isn't. One has meaning attached to it, one is unexpected. The brain processes those situations differently.
CrystalThat actually makes a lot of sense. Most people would rather walk into a tattoo appointment than unexpectedly step on a Lego.
SarahWithout question. The Lego wins every time. That's the true enemy of humanity. Agreed.
CrystalSomething else I noticed while researching this episode is that some people almost view getting tattooed as a challenge.
SarahThat's true. There can be an achievement component, especially with large pieces. Sleeves, back pieces, long sessions. People often feel a sense of accomplishment afterwards. Pain, but accomplishment. It's like surviving a weird marathon. That's actually not a terrible comparison. I'll take it. The key difference is that accomplishments isn't necessarily about enduring pain. It's about completing something meaningful. The pain simply becomes a part of the story.
CrystalWhich is interesting because humans seem to attach value to things that require effort.
SarahThere's actually research supporting that. People often value experience more when they invested time, energy, or effort into them. The tattoo becomes more meaningful because it required a commitment.
CrystalYou know what's funny? Nobody ever brags about the tattoo that took six minutes.
SarahNo. They tell you about the 20-hour session.
CrystalThe one where the questioned every life decision they've ever made. Exactly. I think this also highlights something bigger. Humans have complicated relationships with pain.
SarahVery complicated. Pain isn't always viewed negatively. Athletes in their discomfort. People climb mountains, run marathons, lift heavy weights, learn difficult skills. The context matters, the meaning matters.
CrystalAnd tattoos fit somewhere in that conversation.
SarahThey do. For many people, the discomfort becomes part of a meaningful experience rather than the purpose of the experience. And that's a very important distinction.
CrystalSo if there's one takeaway from this whole thing, it's probably this. Tattooing and self-harm may involve some similar physical elements, but psychologically, they're usually serving very different functions.
SarahIntent matters, meaning matters, context matters. Those factors make a tremendous difference.
CrystalNow speaking of belonging and meaning, there's another reason people get tattoos that have existed almost as long as tattooing itself. The desire to be part of something larger than yourself. Families, military units, religious groups, sport teams, communities.
SarahBecause tattoos aren't always about individual identity. Sometimes they're about collective identity as well. Humans spend a lot of time trying to figure out who they are. But they also spend a lot of time figuring out where they belong.
CrystalAnd sometimes those two things end up written in ink. I think one of the oldest reasons people get tattoos is one of the simplest. People want to belong.
SarahAbsolutely. When you're looking at a tattoo history, belonging shows up everywhere. Long before tattoos were personal expressions, they were often social expressions. Meaning they told people what group you were part of. Your family, your tribe, your community, your military unit, religion, your status. The tattoos wasn't just about you. It was about your connection to other people.
CrystalWhich makes sense when you think about it. Humans are incredibly social creatures.
SarahWe really are. Psychologists often talk about belonging as a basic human need. People need food, shelter, connection, and we want to feel accepted, valued, included, part of something larger than ourselves.
CrystalAnd honestly, most of us can probably think of a time when we felt like we belonged somewhere and a time when we didn't.
SarahAnd those experiences can be incredibly powerful. That's one reason people often form strong attachments to groups. Being a part of something can create identity, support, purpose, and meaning.
CrystalI think military tattoos are a really good example of this.
SarahDefinitely. Military tattoos have a long history. People get unit insignias, deployment dates, memorial tattoos, branch symbols, inside jokes that only people from the community would understand.
CrystalAnd sometimes they're absolutely impossible to explain to outsiders.
SarahVery true.
CrystalYou'll ask somebody what their tattoo means, and they'll spend 20 minutes explaining a story that starts in another country 15 years ago.
SarahThat's because the tattoo isn't really about the image. It's about the shared experience. And the story behind it. And shared experiences are often one of the strongest ways humans build bonds. When people go through difficult, meaningful, or memorial experiences together, these connections tend to become very strong.
CrystalWhich is probably why tattoos show up in so many close-state communities.
SarahAbsolutely. Military groups, first responders, motorcycle clubs, sports teams, fraternities and sororities, religious communities, tattoo culture itself in some ways.
CrystalThat's funny. The tattoo community has tattoos being in the tattoo community.
SarahHumans love recursion.
CrystalApparently.
SarahApparently. But seriously. When psychologists study group identity, one thing that comes up repeatedly is symbolism. Groups often create symbols that help members identify with one another. Flags, logos, uniforms, colors, rituals. Tattoos can function the same way.
CrystalKind of like saying, These are my people.
SarahWithout saying a word.
CrystalI think family tattoos fit into this conversation too.
SarahDefinitely. People get matching tattoos with siblings, parents, children, partners, entire family sometimes.
CrystalWhich sounds sweet until you imagine organizing that group text.
SarahThat may be the most challenging part of the process.
CrystalForget the tattoo pane. Try scheduling eight adults.
SarahThat's the true test of commitment.
CrystalWhat's interesting about family tattoos is that they're often less about the design and more about the shared experience.
SarahVery much so. The tattoo becomes a symbol of connection, a reminder that you're part of something and that you're linked to other people.
CrystalAnd I think that's a theme that keeps showing up throughout this episode. People often think tattoos are about individuality, but a lot of tattoos are actually about relationships.
SarahThat's a great observation. Many tattoos tell stories about connection, connection to family, culture, to friends, communities, or to personal history.
CrystalEven tattoos that look incredibly individual often have social roots.
SarahHumans don't exist in isolation. Our identities are shaped by relationships. So it makes sense to that our tattoos often reflect those relationships too.
CrystalNow, with all that being said, not everyone loves tattoos.
SarahThat's very true. And in fact, some people absolutely hate them. Historically, some societies have viewed tattoos very negatively.
CrystalAnd even today, tattoos can trigger strong reactions.
SarahWhich raises a really interesting psychological question. Why do people make so many assumptions based on appearance?
CrystalBecause the second somebody sees a tattoo, they often start creating a story about that person wearing it.
SarahWhether that story is accurate or not.
CrystalBecause tattoos aren't just about what the person's wearing them thinks, they're also about how other people react to them. And those reactions can tell us a lot about stereotypes, first impressions, and how humans judge one another. Or let's talk about the people who are listening right now thinking I would never get a tattoo.
SarahAnd some of them are saying that very passionately.
CrystalVery passionately. Like we personally showed up at their house with a tattoo machine.
SarahAgainst their will. Exactly. What's interesting is that tattoos have a complicated reputation throughout history. Depending on the culture and the time period, tattoos have been viewed as symbols of status, spirituality, rebellion, criminal criminality, art, self-expression, or all of the above.
CrystalWhich means people's opinions about tattoos are often shaped by more than the tattoos themselves.
SarahAbsolutely. A lot of it comes down to association. When we encounter something repeatedly in a particular context, our brain starts to link those things together.
CrystalSo if someone grows up hearing that tattoos are unprofessional, irresponsible, or associated with troublemakers, they're probably going to carry some of those assumptions into adulthood.
SarahEven if they've never had a negative experience with a tattooed person. Our brains love shortcuts. Psychologists call these cognitive schemas. They're basically mental frameworks that help us make quick judgments about the world.
CrystalThat brain version of I've seen this before, so I know what this means.
SarahExactly. The problem is that those shortcuts aren't always accurate.
CrystalWhich is probably why tattoo stereotypes have aged so badly.
SarahVery badly. There was a time when seeing someone with visible tattoos was relatively unusual. Today tattoos are incredibly common. Teachers have tattoos, nurses, lawyers, business owners, psychologists. Cause I mean, I'm going there.
CrystalYour dentist could have a full sleeve and you'd never know until they reach for a tool.
SarahThe stereotype and the reality doesn't always match anymore.
CrystalI think that's one reason younger generations often react differently to tattoos than older generations.
SarahThat's definitely part of it. Social norms change over time. What one generation views as rebellious, another generation may view as completely ordinary.
CrystalIt's kind of funny when you think about it. There was a time when tattoos could genuinely shock people. Now somebody walks into a grocery store with a sleeve and nobody even looks up.
SarahSocial exposure changes perception. The more common something becomes, the less unusual it feels. That doesn't mean judgment disappears completely, though. Not at all. Humans make first impressions very quickly. Research suggests people begin forming impressions within seconds of meeting someone. Sometimes even faster.
CrystalWhich is wild because most of us know how terrible humans can be at first impressions.
SarahVery true. First impressions can be influenced by appearance, clothing, posture, facial expressions, attractiveness, age, and countless other factors. Tattoos simply become one more piece of the information people use when forming those judgments. Even when they don't realize they're doing it. A lot of these processes happen automatically. The brain is consuming and constantly making predictions and assumptions. It's trying to categorize information quickly.
CrystalBasically, our brains are nosy.
SarahThat's one way to put it.
CrystalI think one of the funniest things about tattoo stereotypes is how often they're wrong.
SarahVery often. People tend to assume that they can understand someone's personality by looking at them. The reality is much more complicated.
CrystalYou could have someone covered in tattoos who is incredibly reserved, and someone with no tattoos who is absolutely chaotic.
SarahAppearance doesn't always tell us nearly as much as we would like to believe.
CrystalI feel like that's a good lesson outside of tattoos, too.
SarahAbsolutely. Tattoos are really just one example of a larger psychological tendency. Humans make assumptions based on limited information. We constantly do it. And the difference is that tattoos make those assumptions visible. Because tattoos often become a canvas onto which other people project their beliefs. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative, and sometimes completely inaccurate.
CrystalAnd meanwhile, the person wearing the tattoo is just trying to buy groceries. And I also think there's a difference between disliking tattoos and judging people for having them.
SarahAbsolutely. Personal preference is completely normal. Someone can dislike tattoos aesthetically without believing tattoo people are bad, irresponsible, or less professional. Those are very completely different positions.
CrystalOh, it's like the lady clutching her purse because she thinks that you're a criminal. But like, lady, my tattoos on my body cost more than your handbag does. Like because, you know, not wanting tattoos for yourself doesn't automatically mean you're against tattoos.
SarahRight. People are allowed to have preferences. The psychological conversation becomes more interesting when those preferences turn into assumptions about character. Because that's where stereotypes start showing up. And stereotypes can be surprisingly resistant to change even when evidence contradicts them. Humans aren't always great at updating their opinions. No, we are not.
CrystalI say that as a human. Same. Now, speaking of changing opinions, we should probably talk about something that happens to a lot of tattooed people. Sometimes the tattoo stays exactly the same, the person changes.
SarahAnd that's where things get really interesting because tattoo regret isn't always about bad decisions. Sometimes it's about personal growth.
CrystalAnd occasionally it's about getting your boyfriend's name tattooed on your neck at 19.
SarahThat too.
CrystalBecause eventually we have to address the elephant in the tattoo shop.
SarahRegrets.
CrystalThe cover-ups, the laser removals, the stories people definitely don't want their children asking about.
SarahAnd the psychology behind why a tattoo that once felt perfect can start feeling very different years later.
CrystalSo let's talk about tattoo regret. Because even if we spent this entire episode talking about meaning and identity, eventually we have to talk about what happens when those things change.
SarahWhich they do. People change constantly. That's one of the most predictable things about being human.
CrystalUnfortunately, tattoos don't always get the memo.
SarahThey tend to stay exactly where you left them.
CrystalVery rude of them.
SarahHonestly. Like extremely.
CrystalI think when most people hear tattoo regret, they picture a very specific situation.
SarahThe ex name.
CrystalAh, the ex the same. Always the ex the same.
SarahTattoo artists everywhere just sighed collectively. They knew this section was coming. What's funny is that the relationship tattoos get all the attention, but they're actually only one type of regret. There's so many categories. There really are. Bad artwork, misspelled words, poor placement, impulse decisions, tattoo trends, and sometimes no mistakes happened at all. The person just changed.
CrystalAnd I think that's one people don't talk about enough.
SarahI agree, because from a psychological perspective, identity is constantly evolving. The person you are at 18 isn't the person you are at 30.
SPEAKER_00100%.
SarahAnd the person you are at 30 isn't the person you'll be at 50. Ideally, we're all growing and changing throughout our lives.
CrystalWhich means a tattoo can end up representing a version of yourself that no longer exists.
SarahThat does not necessarily mean that the tattoo was a bad decision. It may have been completely meaningful at the time.
CrystalIt's actually kind of comforting.
SarahHow so?
CrystalBecause people often treat regret like proof that something was a mistake. Sometimes it's just proof that you've grown.
SarahI love that. Because you're right. A tattoo can represent a chapter of your life that was important even if you wouldn't make the same choice today.
CrystalMost of us have old photographs that make question. Look at this photograph. Most of us have old photographs that make us question our life decisions.
SarahThe early 2000s were a difficult time for a lot of people. Very difficult. The difference is that photographs stay in albums. Tattoos stay attached. And a much more committed scrapbook. Exactly.
CrystalWhat is interesting is that some people end up loving tattoos they originally hated.
SarahThat's true. There's actually something called narrative identity. The it's the story where we tell ourselves about who we are and how we become that person. Over time, people often reinterpret experiences. A tattoo that often felt embarrassing might later become part of a story they appreciate.
CrystalLike the tattoo is a terrible decision, but it reminds me of who I was.
SarahThe meaning changes. Sometimes the tattoos don't.
CrystalAnd I think that's why cover ups are so interesting.
SarahThey really are.
CrystalBecause a cover up isn't necessarily erasing the past, it's building on it.
SarahThat's a great way to put it.
CrystalWhich honestly feels very human. Most people. Aren't trying to erase their past. They're just trying to make peace with it.
SarahAnd that theme shows up repeatedly in psychology. Growth isn't about pretending something never happened. It's about integrating experiences into a larger story.
CrystalYou know what's funny? People without tattoos often act like tattooed people must spend all day worrying about regret.
SarahMeanwhile, plenty of people regret haircuts, relationships, jobs, purchases, social media posts, and an entire phase of our lives.
CrystalAnd the tattoo just happens to be visible.
SarahRegret is a human experience, not a tattoo experience.
CrystalThat's actually a really good point.
SarahAnd if we're being honest, most major life decisions come with uncertainty. Nobody knows exactly who they'll be 20 years from now. That's true whether you're getting a tattoo, choosing a career, moving to a new city, or getting married.
CrystalSo maybe the surprising thing isn't that some people regret tattoos. Maybe the surprising thing is how many people don't.
SarahThat's actually supported by research. Most tattooed people reported being satisfied with their tattoos. Even when there are specific tattoos, they might not choose to choose again.
CrystalThat's interesting. Because if you listen to public conversations, you'd think regret was the norm.
SarahThe dramatic stories tend to get more attention.
CrystalNobody makes a viral post saying, I've had this tattoo for 15 years and still like it. Not nearly as exciting.
SarahRight.
CrystalSo I think this whole point comes back to something we've talked about throughout this episode. Tattoos are really about stories.
SarahAbsolutely. Some stories are we're proud of, some stories make us laugh, some stories make us cringe a little. And most stories contain a little bit of everything.
CrystalWhich brings us to probably the biggest question of the entire episode. Why do humans keep doing this for thousands of years across culture, across generations, across completely different societies?
SarahBecause once you strip away the ink, the needles, the artwork, tattoos may be telling us something much bigger about human nature. Because tattoos aren't just about skin, they're about memory, identity, connection, meaning.
CrystalAnd maybe the real question isn't why people get tattoos.
SarahMaybe the real question is why human beings are so determined to leave pieces of their stories behind.
CrystalYou know, after researching this episode, I don't think tattoos are actually about tattoos. I had the same thought. Which sounds ridiculous considered we spent this last hour or so talking about tattoos.
SarahA little bit.
CrystalStories.
SarahExactly.
CrystalBecause every point we've talked about keeps coming back to the same thing: identity, grief, healing, belonging, growth, memory. None of those things are really about ink.
SarahThe tattoo is often just the vehicle. The story is the important part.
CrystalAnd humans love stories. We're we've always loved stories.
SarahAnd for as long as we've existed, long before books, long before movies, long before podcasts, people tell stories about around fires through song, through art, through symbols, and through tradition. It's one of the primary ways human beings make sense of the world.
CrystalLike cave drawings.
SarahAnd tattoos kind of fit right into that. They really do. Psychologists often talk about something called narrative identity. It's the idea that people build a sense of self by creating stories about their lives. We connect events together, we assign meaning to experience, and we decide what moments mattered, and we decide what those moments say to about us.
CrystalWhich means we're all walking around with stories in our heads.
SarahRight. And tattoos are unique because sometimes those stories move from our minds onto our skin.
CrystalAnd that's probably why people get emotional when talking about tattoos. They're not really talking about artwork, they're talking about themselves.
SarahOr someone they loved, or something they survived, or something they've learned, or a chapter they've never wanted to forget.
CrystalThat's what surprised me the most while researching this. I expected a lot of discussion about designs. Instead, I found stories everywhere.
SarahAnd some of them were incredibly moving.
CrystalVery much so. People remembering parents, children, friends, military buddies, partners, pets, major life milestones, moments of recovery, moments of transformation.
SarahAnd what stood out to me is how often tattoos were connected to meaning. Even when the tattoo itself wasn't particularly complicated.
CrystalRight. A simple date, a small symbol, a few words.
SarahTo everyone else, it might look ordinary. To the person wearing it, it could repres could represent an entire lifetime of experiences.
CrystalWhich honestly feels kind of beautiful. I think so too. Even the tattoos people regret become part of that story.
SarahThe regretted tattoos, the cover-ups, the memorial tattoos, the impulsive tattoos, the carefully planned tattoos, they're all a piece of the same larger narrative.
CrystalA record of being human.
SarahAnd that's a great way to put it because when you step back far enough, that's really what we've been talking about this whole time. Human beings trying to make meaning out of life. And that's not unique to tattoos. Not at all. Some people write journals, some people make scrapbooks, some people collect photographs, and some people create art. And some people tell stories. And some put these stories on their skin and on podcasts. Different methods, same goal. To remember, to express, to connect, and to preserve something important.
CrystalAnd I also think this episode says something interesting about judgment. How so? Well, we spent a lot of time talking about how easy it is to look at a tattoo and make assumptions, but after hearing all these different reasons, people get tattoos, it's hard to not realize how much we don't know about other people.
SarahAnd it's a really important point, because the tattoo someone dismisses as random may represent the most meaningful experiences of the person's life. The tattoo someone loves may have no deep meaning at all. Appearances rarely tell a full story.
CrystalWhich is probably true for people in general.
SarahI would agree with that. Most people are carrying stories that aren't immediately visible. Tattoos just happen to make some of those stories a little easier to see.
CrystalOr at least easier to ask about.
SarahExactly.
CrystalSo I guess the answer to our original question is that people get tattoos for all kinds of reasons.
SarahIdentity, belonging, memory, healing, self-expression, achievement, love, loss, art. Sometimes simply because they like the design.
CrystalAnd honestly, all of those reasons seem pretty human.
SarahAnd they do. Because at the end of the day, tattoos aren't really about being rebellious or fashionable or tough. They're often about meaning. And meaning is something every human being searches for in one way or another.
CrystalWhether it's writing in a journal, framed on a wall, stored in a photo album, or tattooed on someone's arm.
SarahExactly.
CrystalSo if you have tattoos, maybe this episode made you think about them a little differently. And if you don't have tattoos, hopefully it gave you some insight into why so many people have chosen to get them.
SarahBecause whether you love tattoos, hate tattoos, have dozens of them, or never plan on getting one, they're a fascinating window in the human psychology. They tell us a lot about identity, memory, grief, healing, belonging, and the stories people carry through life.
CrystalAnd maybe that's the biggest takeaway. When you see a tattoo, you're not just looking at ink, you're looking at a story. You may not know the whole story yet.
SarahExactly. And before we close out, I do have to ask you, since you asked me, how many tattoos did you get? Yeah?
CrystalI have too many to count.
SarahOh well, that's nasty.
CrystalI've lost, I've lost count.
SarahThat's okay.
CrystalI deserve stickers.
SarahYou do.
CrystalLike a beautiful, a beautiful cathedral.
SarahOh, cathedral.
CrystalYou know, they say your body's a temple.
SarahYou just need to inside the windows and the art window.
CrystalLike a stain, I'm like a beautiful stained glass window. Yeah.
unknownYeah. Good. Yeah.
CrystalAll right. I like that. Thank you for joining us for this episode of the Marionette Dolls Podcast.
SarahAnd if you enjoyed today's discussion, follow, subscribe, and share the episode with someone who has a tattoo story of their own.
CrystalOr someone with a tattoo, they definitely regirt.
SarahEspecially that person. As always, be kind to yourselves. Be kind to each other. And keep pulling back the curtain on the human mind. We'll see you next time. Okay. Bye.
unknownGo get a tattoo. Do it.
SPEAKER_03Don't be sad. Go get a tattoo. Thank you for listening. Please like and subscribe. Please follow us on social media. I just don't need to. Okay.
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
Morbid
Ash Kelley & Alaina Urquhart
Military Murder
Mama Margot Productions LLC
Dark History
Audioboom Studios
Murder, Mystery & Makeup
Audioboom Studios
Dumb Blonde
Dumb Blonde Productions