When Gun Violence Hits Home With Natasha Betancourt & Erika OBrien

A single moment can erase a whole future and leave a family doing math with memories. I’m Lizzette Perez, and this week I have two friends with me that share a story, that’s heavy but necessary: two mothers, two sons, two different states, and the same ending. Natasha Betancourt my childhood best friend (From The Bronx,  in NYC) opens up about losing her son Nicholas Vargas Jr. to gun violence in New York. Erica O’Brien (originally from the Bronx, now in Orlando) shares how she moved to Florida to give her son Phil a better life, and still lost him to gun violence in Florida. If you’ve ever believed “it could never happen to me,” this conversation challenges that belief.

We talk about what grief really looks like years later: guilt that doesn’t shut off, PTSD, anger that comes in waves, and the pressure to stay strong for the siblings also dealing with grief. Natasha and Erica share how siblings and grandkids carry the loss, how a home can feel haunting by their absence, and why rituals like birthdays, angel anniversaries, favorite meals, and cremation can become lifelines. They also say plainly what not to say to a grieving parent and what kind of support actually helps.

Then we move toward prevention and purpose. Erica explains her nonprofit work and her mission to fund youth programs and bring back youth centers, especially for middle school and high school kids who need safe outlets. We get into gun safety, locked storage, access, and why community support can change a kid’s path before a tragedy happens.

Natasha shares her experience with No Voice Unheard 

If this hits your heart, please leave these Moms a comment and review so more people can find these stories and this message.

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Transcript

Why This Conversation Matters

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Bestitos to you, I'm your host, Lizette Perez. From Apple to Oranges is a podcast about the New Yorkers that now live in Florida. Real stories, real people, real moments happening in both New York and in Florida. And who knows, maybe one day you'll be a guest on the show too. Because one thing I learned over the years is that when I meet another New Yorker, we can't seem to stop talking about it. And this podcast is gonna get down to all the reasons why. Today's episode is a very special and a very heavy one. If this happens to be the first time you're checking out the show, please follow the podcast, which is still pretty new, and check out my very first episode called You Could Take the Girl Out the Bronx, but that episode is about me and my transition to why I moved to Florida, why I never moved back to New York, how I became a radio personality, and my journey as a special needs mom to twins with cerebral palsy. Now, all my guests prior to this episode had no clue why they were joining the show. They all happily agreed to come on, even though they didn't know the name of the podcast, which made it fun to get a reaction in real time. I figured, you know, this was something that no one had done before, and I knew it could go either way. But spoiler alert, no one hated the idea, the concept, or the fact that I had them on blindly. They were into it. Now, today's guests and all my guests from here on out will know exactly why they're joining the show. So now we can all better prepare and be ready to discuss what the show is about and giving you the fun vibe this platform was created to be. But also, we will touch on topics like today's guests and their story. They will share about their experience, about the violent way they lost their sons to gun violence. Something no mother ever imagines that they will actually experience. But yet, my childhood best friend, Natasha Betancourt, who once lived across the street for me on Wheeler Avenue and the Bronx, she shares her story, her grief, and her struggles on healing and forgiveness on this episode. And you will also meet Erica O'Brien, who currently lives in Central Florida, who left New York to keep her son off the streets and avoid something like this from ever even happening. But it did, and it happened here in Florida. Today I would choose to listen more than I speak. I let them share their story. I give them the floor to talk, to discuss. This conversation is gonna be draining for them because sharing a story like this will have them relive details of the events. And today I ask you to listen with an open heart and an open mind. And please take a moment after the show and show these moms some love. All right, send them a comment. Especially if you're a mom who has also experienced a loss like this, we would love to hear from you. So thank you both so much for being here today and for being brave and sharing your story. Please introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Oh, hi everybody. My name is Tasha B.E. Betancourt, and I'm from New York. I'm originally from the Bronx. I currently live in the Lower East Side.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

And I'm Erica, originally from the Bronx, currently living in Orlando.

Meeting Natasha And Erica

SPEAKER_02 2:48

The fact that you both are here right now, like Tasha's here on vacation. That's why I brush you in. And I almost don't know where to start with this story because the reason why you're here today, I'm already in a chokehold behind it.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Erica, tell us why you moved to Orlando. I moved to Orlando in 1997 when my son was two years old because I wanted him to have a better life. Because I knew what I grew up. I was, I was, I was a bad teen. I was horrible. And I didn't want him to go through that. So I brought him here and we created our life here and he went to school here. During high school, he was introduced to uh weed, and that became his best friend. And when he was 23 years old, someone that he's bought in weed off of plenty of times called him and was like, hey, take a ride with me. He was like, All right, come get me. The person didn't tell my son that he was going to serve someone a pound of weed, that he did not know this person, never met him before in his life. So he took my son, and what had happened was the kid got in the car. My son and my nephew were in the back. The kid got in the car, not realizing anyone was in the back, pulled a gun out on the driver to rob him. My son slapped the gun out of his hand, I guess, which startled him and caused him to shoot. My son ended up shooting because we are gun owners. My son shot him in the cheek. He got out of the car and ran. The person that drove him didn't know what was going on. All he was hearing was gunfire. So he panicked, got out of the car, started shooting. My son never made it out of the car. My son was the only one that didn't make it to the hospital. He was a John Doe for almost 20 hours because he didn't have his ID on him. And the only reason the I found out because the hospital called me about my nephew. And when I kept on asking for my son, they asked for his name and they pulled his ID, and the John Doe that they had that died on scene happened to be my son. What year was that? That was in 2018.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Oh wow. Tasha, you lost your son in 2018. Yes, I did.

Erica Tells Phil’s Story

SPEAKER_01 4:43

So for me, my experience is that I live in New York, and my hope and my dream is to move to Florida and to try to give my kids a better life. Also, my grandkids. I lost my son in 2018. His name was Nicholas Vargas Jr. He was driving his vehicle that he just got two weeks, three weeks earlier. He worked very hard. He was a father of three. Actually, two at the time, and one that he didn't know he was about to have. And he was very happy to have his car. He was a friend that would give you his shirt off the back. So obviously that night he said, Mom, we we were all hanging out. He said, Mom, I'm gonna pick you up in a few minutes. We're gonna go home. Let me just drive my friends home. And they lived literally right down the block, but because he had a vehicle and he could do that now, he did it. And he made it maybe a few blocks away from where we were at. He had a stare down with a person in the street, a young kid. Actually, he was 16 years old. I didn't know that at the time, but gang member in Manhattan. And all they said was, What's up? Like, what up? And the kid just shot, and one shot hit my son in the head, and he killed my son instantly. We were able to have him on life support for a little while. I was able to make it to the location while EMS was still working on him because my nephew was in the vehicle, and I'm grateful that nobody else got hit. But at the same time, I can't understand why my son was hit. And this has affected my life in so many different ways. He wanted to come to Florida. That was our dream. We were working together to move here. And then to hear that you lost your child from a gun violence out here as well kind of makes me second think a little bit because I do still have a teenage son that I do fear for. I kind of bottle him up and for my own PTSD reasons. But I do know I have to still offer a better life, and that's kind of my reason why I do frequently come to Florida every three to four months. My dad lives here, so and he is an active gun holder as well. I'm not against firearms. I've grew up with firearms in my life, my whole life. I've had a hunting license since 12. So I just really feel that some stupid people can get their hands on weapons and don't know the effects that it can have on not just one person that they you know actually kill with it, but an entire family. It can be a community, there's friends. There's so many people that get affected by it. In my case, my grandkids are now fatherless. They do know of him. We speak all the time of him. We were always celebrating his anniversary. His birthday, actually, this week was his birthday. My son would have turned 30 years old. And this is just a chunk of his life that he will never be able to experience. And, you know, it was just taken. And unfortunately, the kid that took him is gonna still live his life. And we just got justice this year, but he's still living, he still gets to see his family and his mom. And he had a child during this whole situation while he was on the run for four years. He did have a child, and he continued his life like he did nothing, which was the worst part, I think, for me and my family to know that his life continued to progress forward, and ours is still in a standstill.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Because my son was he was the man of my house, he was my provider, you know. Since a very young age, he decided I'm done with school, I'm gonna work. He got a job in construction, you know. He smoked his weed, he did what a normal teenager does in New York, but he minded his business, he loved everybody. Like I said earlier, he would give his shirt off his back. And you personally knew him. You knew how much of a loving kid he was since day one. I mean, I visited you when they were about four years old. It it's a big impact in my life that I don't sometimes know how to deal with, but I am learning continuously every day to cope with this loss. It is a big loss. Nobody wants to bury their child. Yeah, the rule is your child is supposed to bury you, you're not supposed to bury your kid. But unfortunately, we had to endure this pain. And I don't think that there's any comparison or words that can describe such a loss. You know, when your child walks out of the door, you expect them to return back in one piece. I mean, that's the golden rule. Just make it back home. And on these nights, our babies didn't make it back.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Well, again, I say to the both of you, I'm so sorry for your loss. I love you both, and I'm glad I got to introduce you both today. Connecting my New York and my Florida world. But what's crazy for me to hear is how similar your stories actually are. Tasha, you experienced this in New York. Erica, you experienced this here in Florida. And clearly it's a problem around our country. But what I'm hearing here today are similarities. I didn't expect to hear. Because Erica, I wasn't even familiar with your experience. So far, I've heard it happened in 2018. It happened in a car. Their cousins were in the car. You both have younger sons. But Tasha, hearing your story and now knowing what happened to Erica's son, happened out here in Florida. I know you already made a comment about it, but I want you to tap in a little more now that you've had a few minutes to process it, a few minutes to, you know, think about it a little more. Like, I didn't bring Erica on. Again, I didn't know her story, so I didn't bring Erica on to be like, don't come here or anything like that. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

The only fear that I have is that they do allow young people to hold a weapon. I don't think that the gun rules are as strict as they should be. Not only here, I mean in New York, in other states, there's active crime with the young people. Unfortunately, it's not back in the days, like when I grew up in the 80s and the 90s, that we box it out. Right. Give me fighting. We're always fighting. We fought all the time, girl.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

I mean, you know, you and Jeanette were always fighting.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

We were we used to go at each other's throats, but you know, unfortunately, these kids don't know how to pick up their hands. To them, the solution is to just grab a weapon, a knife, a gun, and they don't think about the effects not only to the person that they're gonna harm, but now their life has been affected. It's it's it's it's impacting themselves, it's impacting their family because now their family has to visit somebody in jail who wants their child in jail. You know, these kids for some reason they seem to think jail is like a retreat or a vacation home. They don't take how serious it really is and how much it can affect their mental. And half the time it makes them a little worse than what they really came in there originally as. Yeah. You know, some kids learn from it, some don't. Some of them will become repeat offenders and continue to go back in. And it's unfortunate that our youth is getting sucked into this crime era. I mean, crime right now is outstanding in any state you go to. I mean, and I think it's because they need to have more stricter laws on the gun rules, gun safety needs to be taught a little bit more better. Parents need to lock up their weapons, you know. There's so many things that can be prevented if they just tighten it up just a little bit. Yeah, you know, Erica.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

What's your son's name? My son's name is Phil. Phil? How old was he? He was 23. Nikki was 22. Wow, so close.

Natasha Tells Nick’s Story

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yeah. But what I do want to tell you is when I moved out here, I sheltered my son. So I didn't allow him to know the streets. He had book smarts, but I wasn't allowing him the street smarts. Whereas I had it, but like I said, I didn't want him to grow up the way I did. When you're time, when it's your time, it's your time. And as a parent, like I don't know if you do, like all these woulda, coulda, shoulda. I do all the time. Right, like the guilt. Had I allowed my son to experience a little bit more of the streets at a younger age, I don't feel it would have rolled into what it did. Because once he got that taste of freedom at 18, it was, he was on and popping. He got a car, he got a license, he was smoking weed, he was chilling with his friends, he was doing car races. He lived the life that I did the car races and all that. He was the other version of me. But I did, I grew up in the streets. My mother was a drug addict. I left home at 13, so I was in the streets and I didn't want my son to see that. I didn't want my like that's not what we moved here for. So I did shelter him, and I take blame for that. Another thing is, as a mother, like everyone will sit there and tell you, there's nothing you could have done. Nothing. I'm his mother. My my only job in life was to protect him. And I didn't. I couldn't. The last time I seen my son was the day after Thanksgiving. He was going to his girlfriend's house for the weekend. The next time I seen him was December 1st in a coffin. The whole experience in general was just heart. Like, they autopsied my son without my permission. I found out, like, without even confirming that it was him. I didn't even know. Oh, wow. Like, because remember, I told I had said they asked for his name so that they could identify they don't allow us to identify the bodies. Next thing I got a call from the medical examiners asking me if I wanted to donate his organs. Wait a minute, nobody even confirmed to me that this was my son. No, keep him, nobody can have nothing like. And you just react in that moment, like, this is my baby. I even turned down the state was gonna pay for his funeral because it was murder. That's my son. That's my baby. I'm gonna, it's not easy. Like I go through days where it's just like I'm still in denial. My son is in, you know, witness protection. He's gonna walk through that door any day because it didn't make sense. If you were to tell me my son got into a car accident and died, I can understand that. He's a horrible driver. But murdered my son? He was a teddy bear. Like I got pictures of him literally in a teddy bear costume in his 20s. Like this, he was just, he was loving. He was he wasn't violent. And he was the type of person that you don't like him so what? I don't care. He moved on with he didn't care what nobody thought of him. And I loved him for that. And he made me the mother that I am. But like we'll never get over the guilt. That guilt lives with us. But like you said, it's not the same. When we grew up in New York, we had youth centers. I had UBP on prospect. That's where we went. And I didn't have a parent to sign me in. So I wasn't an official member, but they knew my situation. They took we had these things.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

They took you in. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Like we were able to go, I was able to go to the youth centers with all my friends. I spent most of my childhood in skate key.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

Like we had we were probably there at the same time. We were probably there together.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah, like I I was a skate key kid. Like, but we had those outlets. These kids don't have it no more. And the biggest reason is it's the cost.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

So Erica. Being that you so far, because you've been here many years now, you stood here after that happened to you. You didn't leave. How did you do that, first of all? Like Tasha, I would probably be like, Car, I'm like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 15:21

I can't take it here anymore. I did leave, I owned a condo when he was alive, and I did leave that condo. But the simple fact is, every single night I woke up hearing banging on the door like if he was knocking to come in. Because I was once I go to bed, you can't come in my house. Like, you don't pay rent, you don't get keys. So it would like I will every single night all I heard was banging on the door, and I'd wake up and be like, oh shit, Phil. And I was like, I can't do this. So I left. I went into another house, just like I I bought the first thing that I can find just to get out of there.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

It's so funny. Because my son used to come home every day at like two in the morning, one, two in the morning, and get up and leave at five. But I have a camera on my door, and every night at that time, my camera triggers off. There's like nobody there. It's but the camera triggers off and it's supposed to be like through motion. And I always say it's my son. Like he's coming home every night at that time.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

It absolutely is. Because even even when I moved into the other house, they'd be knocking at my door. Like I remember his godmother, this on the six-month anniversary of his death, his godmother came down and we went to the scene and we put up a cross and we, you know, did a little memorial. And I went and took a shower. And when I came out, I heard knocking. So I went to go answer the door and there was nobody there. She goes, You heard knocking? And I was like, Yeah. She was like, When you were in the shower, I heard knocking, and I went to the door and there was nobody there. I said, Phil's visiting. Then a couple of months after that, the girl that he was with before he passed, she came over and we were sitting on the couch watching movies, and all you heard was the front door door handle shaking. I didn't know what it was. I went and grabbed my gun. I told her, get in the room. There wasn't nothing out there. Wow. Nothing out there. So yes, they do visit us. So what I did is I I had my son cremated so he can I can take him everywhere. I didn't believe in it. It wasn't something I wanted to do. But someone, when I was making the arrangements, someone I grew up with asked me, told me, Erica, if you bury him, you will never leave. You will never leave here. So my son, his ashes are in a bang because that was his thing. So I honored his life. He's in a bong. He has little areas, pictures of him, gifts that people have given him are all in this table, and that's how I keep him alive. You have that. I actually have a bracelet that I forgot to put on.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

I always travel with him, his little urn. I had him cremated as well because I always knew I wanted to move to Florida. And I said, if I bury him, nobody's gonna visit him. You know, like once I'm gone, I'm gone. I don't have planned to go back to New York ever again. I actually want to try and convince my other kids to transition down here as well. Just, you know, again for a better quality of life. Hopefully I'll hit the lottery out here. There's better chances out here than they are in New York, but that's a far-fetched idea. But I always said if I buried him, we wouldn't visit him. And I had him cremated. And every vacation I go on, if I go out of the country, I don't care where it's at. The kid is always with me at all times. He's my screensaver on my phone. He he made me the person that I am. I was a young, you know, I had him at pregnant at 17, had him a week after, two weeks after my 18th birthday, and he made me who I am and actually have a daughter that's born the same day as him. They're one year apart, but they were in the same grade. I guess he wanted to be having a twin, and he purposely got left back and stood in the same grade with her, and he protected his sister the whole entire time. And they look alike. It's so crazy. It's so hard, you know, like to still see his kids. Oh my god, they look exactly like him. The baby that was born when he was, you know, gone, and my son never got to meet this little boy is splitting image of him, and he acts just like my son. It's like I have I feel like God gave me a second chance with him. And it's the things he says. Oh my god, he's like, I'm a grown man in a little kid's body. Like, wow. He says these things, it's so crazy. Um, and I just look at him like, Were you here? Like, Nick, is that you? But I definitely I feel his presence. I feel him all the time. I feel, like I said, the camera goes off. You hear shaking of the doors, I feel the breezes of wind passing by. I'll light a cigarette. He smokes cigarettes, he smoked his little joints. I light it next to his offrenda, like his memorial, and I can see it like somebody's pulling on it. It's so crazy. Like, it's it's like kid, and it's like when I do something he doesn't like, like he'll make something stop. If I play a song, he'll it just stops out of nowhere. It's so crazy. And I can hear him say, like, mom, I don't like that, like, change that, change that. And I'm like, it's so hilarious, but it's it's never gonna be easy. It's so hard. Statistically, they say two years to get over a loved one. Whoever invented that, I don't think really loved the person that they lost. And that's a mom never get over it.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

And that's probably a different statistic for you guys. Like, yeah, it's what you go through is so extra. Yeah, you know, it's not it's a loss that it's incomparable with any. How how was it for the siblings, Erica? Because you said you have another son who's how old now?

SPEAKER_00 20:34

14? Yeah, he'll be 14 in March. So God must have known what he was doing because Phil was supposed to be my only child because I didn't want kids. So I was like, all right, this is my boy. Me and him are gonna rock out. We're gonna do this. My kids are 17 years apart. God knew what he was doing. When I found out I was pregnant, I was like, how? Yeah. Like, I mean, I know how, but I'm protected. I promise you, like, I am birth control queen. Right. Because I knew I didn't want no more. Yeah. I cried for two weeks. I was like, God, why would you do this to me? Like, this is not what I want. God knew that's what I may not have been what I wanted, but it was what I needed. Because had it not been, and everyone said that, if you didn't have Jace, I'm worried about what you would have did. I said, All right, number one, the two people I blame for this is the person that picked up my son because he was too greedy to let a sale go, but too coward enough to do it by himself, and the kid that robbed him because he was greedy and wanted to- he should have he should have informed him also what he was going to do.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

It's like he went in there blindly, just being a good friend, being the person he was.

Fear, Parenting, And Gun Access

SPEAKER_00 21:37

No, my son went in there because he was gonna smoke for free.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

And that's who he's had an opportunity and he jumped on it, and but still, that person didn't inform him that, you know, hey, this is what I'm gonna go do. He just said, like, hey, we're gonna go smoke a joint. He didn't say anything. I'm sure if your son would have known like they were gonna do a big amount of a sale like that, he would have probably been like, hey, pick me. Up when you're done with it. You know what I'm saying? Like something like that. You know, he didn't get an op an option. He didn't get an opportunity to pick his path, what he wanted to do. So I can't say for you to live with that and blame yourself because that was that person who put him in that vehicle that night.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Yep. And that person sent me a message through Facebook to tell me his words were I just want to let you know that if it wasn't for Phil, we'd all be dead. My response was, You fucking coward. You shouldn't have took my son. I didn't give birth to a security guard for you. The person that did shoot him and kill him, like I said, from even what the detective, like I have all the information. This kid panicked and just shot erratically. A year after, almost a year after, I get a call. I'm no idea what the night I'm like, hello. And the only thing I heard was, ma'am, I am so sorry for what I took from you. And if there was anything that I can do to change it, I promise I would. This is not what it was supposed to be. That was the only sincere apology. This kid was 21 years old with a kid on the way. He took a plea deal. So me and his mother didn't have to go through the trial. You took a plea deal of 25 years at 21 years old. And he with the right lawyer, he could have got off. Because there's to stand your ground law. And he did feel his life was in danger. Of course you do. All you hear is gunfire. What do you feel? You took my baby from me, but I can't hate you. I can't. And I took his calls for a little while, and then it got to be too much because I can't be friends with you because you took my baby. But I do want to go see him eventually. It was the sincerest apology I had. I know he didn't do this because he was a monster. And that's why I sit there and say, like, five lives changed because of two people's greed. You know, and then like the state attorney's office, like, because I was I wanted to know why the person that picked my child up and knowing put his life in danger is not being charged with anything. Not even the drug deal. Not even the drug deal. And you have all the text messages that you knew this was a drug deal. And it was a pound of weed. And I was told they're about to legalize weed. It's not a big thing. What? And they were like, well, he's paralyzed. I don't give a shit. He wakes up to his mother every day. And what I say this to say, had I not have Jace, he wouldn't be waking up to his mother every day. I would have shot him in front of his mother and happily turned myself in and lived the rest of my days in jail, knowing that I got justice for my son. And that's why everyone says I'm glad. And if I and I honestly believe like God knew what he was doing.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

How old was Jace when this happened? Did he understand what was going on?

SPEAKER_00 24:26

No, he was in He was he just he was 2018, he was six.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

So how if I can ask, how did you explain it to him and how did he process that?

SPEAKER_00 24:37

So I still sent him to school as normal, but he was an extended day, and I knew one of the aides in the extended day, and she walked out, and I thought she walked out with her son. And when she walked out, I was telling her, I was like, hey, I don't know how today's gonna look. My son got killed over the weekend, and it was and all I seen was Jace's face like, and I didn't know what to do. That's how we found out. I was trying to prevent him from going up to the coffin because I didn't want him to see his brother like that. But eventually I just couldn't keep him from it no more. I had to allow him to say goodbye. I mean, I think he he was young and he's adjusted to it. And I call him Phil all the time. Like I'm always like Phil, he's like Jace, but he does, like you said with your grandchildren. I I didn't have the opportunity to have grand. My kids didn't want kids. So I didn't have that opportunity. But my son Jace will sit there, you will think it's him. Like certain things he says, facial expressions, just the built of his body. It's just like you're Phil. Like you're you definitely Phil. And that's just let me call you Phil. I'll get your name right one day, but right now, yeah, give me some grace. You know, like that's all I have. And I know when I call him Phil, it's because Phil's there with me, you know, Phil's my purpose.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

Tasha, how did uh Matthew, Tabby, and uh Sasha deal with it?

SPEAKER_01 25:48

So they were all very close, you know, my kids. We I raised my kids in a small two-bedroom apartment in the Bronx. And it was just us for years. They were very, very attached. Like I said, he was a very good protector in our home. I didn't let nobody mess with us at all. So the night that I got the call.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Which was I remember because it was the weekend after you came out and visited us. Absolutely. I had just came to Miami.

Signs, Rituals, And Staying Connected

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Yeah, we had Miami and the ball. Uh we were celebrating. He was showing me some things that he wanted. And I had just got back that weekend, and I was actually going to my girlfriend's house to pick up, like I left her like the kids staying there and some important papers, and I was, you know, went to go pick them up. And like I said, he had just got his car, so he was super excited. I cooked in my girlfriend's house for them, and he had just ate. He asked me like what he wanted me to cook, which was rice and beans and ribs. That was his last meal. And to this day, my kids do not want me to make that. If I make it, nobody eats it. I've tried, they refused to touch it. But we got that call and I took off running. So I was at 225th in Broadway. The accident happened. So he actually got shot on 233rd in Broadway. But my nephew was in the vehicle and in fear of them getting shot, also, they pushed my son's leg down on the gas to get the car to keep going, which was a great thing that they did because a few blocks away was the precinct and there was a parked ambulance there. So that it was like God was there that night. EMS was working on him. They called me. I ran from 225th in Broadway to 238th in Broadway in less than five minutes, girl. And I got there, they were working on him. They refused to let me go into the EMS with him, so I just turned around and I started running to the hospital. My kids asked me when I walked out the door, they're like, Where are you going? And I I didn't know how to say it, and I I didn't know how to deal with the reality of it. What were their ages then? So Sasha at the time, can't remember. She was probably about 16 at the time. Matthew was about nine, I think it was. And then Tabitha was, like I said, one year younger. So she was 21. Tabitha was away at college in upstate New York, about four hours away. That kid held on till his sister came down from school when he took his last breath. As you know, your mom was on the phone and she did a final prayer for him over the phone. And probably less than an hour after that was when the machines just stopped. They asked me, Do you want me to keep continuing? I said, No. Yeah, brain matter coming out. So I knew there was like no chance of him being saved. They told me they could try to operate, but he would be in a veggie state. And my kids and I, we all had a conversation. And as his mom, I said I didn't care. I would take care of him no matter what. Mom was prepared to live that life with him, just and guarantee he was gonna still be with me. But my kids and I, we all came to the decision that we didn't want him to suffer, and we didn't want his kids to see him suffering because they were so young and he was so full of life. So we just ultimately decided to, once he stopped breathing on his own, to let just let it happen. And they took it so hard. They're still struggling, they definitely are still struggling. My son, kind of similar to you. My other son, I wasn't supposed to have. I had cancer at a young age, cervical cancer, and I was told I couldn't have any more kids. And I got pregnant with my son Matthew. He was my miracle baby. And I tell everybody I had a dream, and I felt like God came to me and said, name him Matthew Jacob, which I did, and he is my blessing. And I truly believe, as you said, that God had a plan, and everybody has an expiration date on them. We just don't know when it is. I think that God knew my son's expiration date already and gifted me with the opportunity to have another son because I have two daughters, and I have two grandsons and two granddaughters now, and I'm blessed to have had a part of him. I'm sorry that you didn't get that opportunity, but grateful for you as well to have your other son that can constantly remind you and do things that remind you of him because my son is literally the same way. They were best friends, they game, as they say, game cracked with each other so much, and it affected him so much because he stopped playing his PlayStation for a little while, especially the games that they used to play together. The kids just stopped like doing certain things that they, you know, did with their brother. I saw a big change in my household. Like I said, it just affected everybody in small ways, but huge differences, as you can say. Big impacts that I never want them to feel that loss again. I know eventually they'll feel it one day when I go and choose to leave this world, which I ask God to not make it no time soon. Because I would like to at least make it to a hundred. Don't be all knock on wood. I would like to make it to a hundred. I am one of those optimistic people. But the reality is that none of us are guaranteed our time on this earth, and we have to make the best of the time that we did. And I'm grateful that my son made the memories that he made with everybody that he did, because you went to his funeral, girl, and there was over a thousand people there that literally knew my son and that he made impacts on their lives. He was such a block was there. A caring kid. I mean, if you didn't know him in person, you knew of him on social media. I always took pictures and shared and always did, and that was one thing that changed with me as well. I stopped sharing all of my family life because it took so long for them to lock up my son's killers. I just felt like, I guess, a little paranoid and felt like my family was always at risk of something happening because they are young kids and we did hear a lot of things on social media. I think I knew who the killer was before the police found out who it was. Because yeah, you went through a period of time where you had no clue. So we went through a period of time. What happened was what the they arrested the wrong people. And there were two young men who were in jail being accused of my son's crime for one year, and eventually they did come out because they did, as I said, social media. These kids were talking through Snapchat, Instagram, whatever it was, they were making rap songs, drill songs, all these things, and they were actually speaking about it. So eventually that that's how it happened. The young kid who killed my son unfortunately went on a killing spree during that time. So my son was the first of four people that he killed at 16. So after he killed my son.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Three other incidents?

Siblings, Grandkids, And Home After Loss

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Yes. So about a month after he killed my son, he killed another young man or two other young men, and then he shot another older gentleman in the stomach. The older gentleman lived, to my understanding, for maybe about a month and then died from infection and stuff due to his injury. So that counted as well as him killing him. Because obviously the guy would have never had an infection or anything wrong with him had he never got shot. He was an older gentleman, I believe like 50 years old or something. So this kid just went on, like I said, a shooting spree throughout the heights in New York and in the Bronx. At 16, I mean, no care in the world for life. He didn't care about anybody else's life. He was just randomly he shot nine people in total, but out of those nine people, four people actually died. So and went through that time where we didn't know who it was. It took them four years to actually catch him. He was going to Pennsylvania. People were hiding him out. It was just really crazy. He actually did a lot of his crimes with his father as well. It was a big Rico takedown of about 28 people, um, a big drug gun takedown amongst these kids. They were part of like the gang up there in New York. They were just this gang that had no type of care for life. Who they affected, what they did, they were just running the streets, like committing all these crimes, and eventually we got caught up. I just got justice October 7th of 2025. This young man and three other gentlemen on the same day were sentenced to three life sentences plus 200 years added on. But knowing the way the system works, a life sentence doesn't necessarily mean a life sentence because he is very young. He will have the opportunity to get out in a few, you know, he will probably serve serve 25 years, 30 years, but he'll be able to get out if he has good behavior, and he'll still be able to go home and be with his family if nobody does anything to him while he's in jail, you know. But to my understanding, there's YouTube videos out already of him living the same lifestyle that he lived out in the streets in jail. He is stabbing people in the jail system. Eventually, you know, I don't want to say it and I don't wish it upon anybody, but somebody has to feel the same pain that I feel. I don't forgive him. He did try to apologize the day of sentencing, but the two other three other people that were sitting with him were adamant that I would take back everything I said to them when it gets proved that they didn't do it. And everything was on camera. Um, there's photos, there's videos. I will never take back what I feel. I will never forgive them. I know in the Bible it says to forgive. I don't, I don't think that my heart is capable of doing that. I don't, I'm not angry. I was angry in the beginning. I'm more hurt that I've been robbed of seeing my son grow up into a man. That's all I wanted for him was to see the type of man he was gonna become. I know he had a lot of good things happening for him at that time. I'm just curious to see what it would have turned out to be. And you know, all my kids are in a good spot right now, and to see that is a blessing, but it's also a burden for me to know that I can't see my firstborn accomplish the dreams and things that he had for himself. But I'm grateful again to have the opportunity, uh, as you say, around two with my grandkids. And hopefully, my transition coming here to Florida will give them a better life, better schooling, better living. We've always talked about giving a house with a pool and a yard, and that's something I'm working on currently. So, with God's work, he's gonna make everything happen. And my son is gonna continue to bless us and watch down on us and make that happen with him. I know he's sitting right next to the Lord and he's watching over his mama. The same for you. I know. I know that we have guardian angels that nobody will ever have, you know. I know that we have, they're just gonna take care of us. They're gonna take my hairs of standing, they're gonna take care of us, they're gonna make it happen. As we get older, we will see them again. And that's what I keep in my mind that just keep a seat next to me in that golden gate, boy. Mama's coming, not soon, but I'm coming. And the first thing I'm gonna do when you open it is give you that hug and that kiss. Cause I miss him. I miss his face and I miss his voice. I never thought that I would never be able to hear his laugh or see that smile again. I mean, his so infectious, such a big smile, bright eyes. All I have is memories and pictures to hold on to. So, I mean, the siblings try to live with that, but it's nothing like having their actual brother with them. So, as a mother, it hurts that I can't take this pain from them because I'm feeling the same pain for them as well. And when you're a parent, you're not given a handbook as to how to deal with this. There's no book on how to deal with a loss or how to nurture somebody back from a loss, it's hard, and you're all trying to figure it out. And the only thing I can say is to just continue to try to figure it out together. Don't try to keep that pain to yourself. If you have friends that are trying to reach out and offer that help, take it. Take it. They want to cook for you, they want to take you out, they want to come and clean for you, they want to do a laundry, let them do it. Don't feel like you're superwoman all the time. This pain needs you to sit down and relax and embrace it, figure it out and not get past with it, but how to deal with it and deal with it the best way because when you deal with it and you learn how to deal with it, you're able to get your other kids through it as well. You know, it becomes a little bit easier because then everybody's leaning on each other and you start to realize that you're not the only one feeling like this. They feel it too, but they're trying to be strong for you, and they're not trying to cry for you, and you're not trying to cry for them. So it's just like a whole circle of things. Yeah. But again, if somebody is trying to offer you the help, just take it. Don't feel like you can do it on your own, even if you need a little bit of therapy. There's nothing wrong with getting a little bit of therapy to learn how to cope with it. Talking to somebody is always key to your feelings.

SPEAKER_02 39:10

So, speaking of key, Erica's laughing because you started a whole movement with key entertainment. Yes. So I met Erica kind of in the radio music world. She last year was planning a big stop the gun violence. Is that what it was? It was stop the violence, hear the music. And that fell through, unfortunately, but I know you're not done with the whole no everything, everything. So you started a nonprofit. Yes. All right. Tell me a little bit about that, and then we'll get back into some of the other areas that I wanted to hit during the show, which is, you know, hard to do. But oh, before before you do talk, Erica, Tasha, I have like a little confession that I wanted to share with you. Something that I've kind of been holding on to all these days. It's it's crazy because of the fact that we did spend that weekend together. And you didn't come out to Orlando, you went to Miami. Me and Jeanette went down to the house. Yes, you girls came and stayed with me. I opened up that room and said, nope, you're staying. So even though you didn't come specifically for us, you know what I mean? I I've been holding like a little guilt that I that I spent that last weekend with you and you didn't get to spend that last weekend with your son.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

It's okay, baby.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

I felt like that we could be a reminder of what happened. You know what I mean? Like just seeing us would remind you about the time it all went down, you know? And don't live with that guilt.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

No, I know, but it's not a good thing. You still got to see his face when we spoke to him. Yeah. I mean, I still had I went home to him. I did get time with him. Don't don't ever hold that burden.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

No, I just, you know, we felt that. I know.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

We felt that. So I know. We also are my best friends since nine years old. I mean, when my parents got divorced and my dad remarried, we grew up across the street from each other. And first it was like, it started off Jeanette and I.

SPEAKER_02 41:00

Yes, Jeanette was a best friend. But Jeanette, she's the same age. She's two years younger than me. Yeah. About two years. And it was her Jeanette. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

So it started off Jeanette and I, but I think that I was always a little bit more wanting to hang out with the older people more. And Lisette was she was older. I looked up to her. She was cool to me, you know. So I always like cling to her. And it's so funny because Jeanette and I used to literally fight. They were best friends. We were best friends, but we were always throwing hands and at each other's throat. I mean, like always in competition. Always in competition with the boys. Oh my goodness. If she told me she liked somebody, I definitely wanted to make him my boyfriend first.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Like But you know what it was? I think because we knew uh my parents were already talking about moving to Florida for about two years prior to us moving here. So that made, I believe, you and I to, you know, yeah, get to know each other and get closer because I mean took it more seriously.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

We took our friendship definitely more seriously, I think, than any other friendship we had with anybody. And you guys left me at I didn't leave you on purpose. Not on purpose. And then my my dad told me, oh, you you bring some good grades, we'll send you to Florida. Oh my goodness. Definitely came to Florida for one month, and boy, oh boy, that was a time for us. We won't get into that.

SPEAKER_02 42:24

But Sasha almost got sent home. My parents almost sent them back to the Bronx.

SPEAKER_01 42:29

Jeanette snitched us out.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

Jeanette snitched us out.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

He was definitely up to her same stuff. But it, you know, we still we we kept our friendship going for years. I mean, for years. Like I said, we've been friends since nine years old, and I'm 48. We won't say Lisette ain't. But you know, we definitely have this bond that I don't think the states can break us up on, you know. Like wherever I'm at, we always in contact whenever I'm here. I don't care if it's like for an hour, we're gonna see each other.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

You saw me for five minutes last time. Five minutes the last time I came.

Justice, Sentencing, And No Closure

SPEAKER_01 43:09

I came and I made pateles and I made it my business to bring her pateles. Unfortunately, uh my dad still treats me like a child, but I had to get his vehicle back very fast. But I went to both their houses. I dropped pateles there, dropped pateles there, and then went back. And then I said the next time I come back, we'll, you know, we'll be able to hang out a little bit more, which is now. So yeah. I'm I'm grateful for my friendship with you. I love you.

SPEAKER_02 43:36

I always have been. I love you too. I love you so much. We did snail mail back in the day. Yes. I used to count the days when I get my little from Tasha. But oh yes, Erica, I didn't forget. I want you to share what you had started with the nonprofit in memory of your son, and for what goals?

SPEAKER_00 43:54

I want you to express that. So I started, I originally started key. And that was because my son loved to see me. I love music. And you turn your pain into passion. And the goal with the key was to be the sole sponsor for the nonprofit. So I got the the nonprofit up and, you know, got it established. And the original goal was to start opening youth centers. Because as I mentioned, we had youth centers. And we need to keep these kids off the streets. And I just feel like my son's death can't go in vain. These kids need an outlet to go. Yes, there's tons of youth programs, but they're expensive. But while I was going through this and I was meeting with going to other youth programs that are active and meeting people that work in or or have youth programs, I realized they need funding, which is when I came up with stop the violence, hear the music. That's specifically anything that's done, the proceeds get donated. So I was like, these programs need it more. If I can donate memberships for kids that their families can't afford it, then they have a youth program. So that became the primary goal. I'm struggling, but I have not given up. Because these that's what these kids need. They need to get off the streets. Not all families can afford, they're expensive. Sports is expensive. My son is in basketball. It's$200 a month for practice. Then there's when they have games and tournaments, there's a charge for that. When there's scrimmages and condition training, there's a charge for that. Like it's$3,000 or better a year. And America don't pay. The money's not there. I mean, I'm fortunate to be an industry that I've been in for years. So I make okay money, but like it's not like we're buying yachts and stuff, but I can afford the extra curricular. And it's tight. So I just want kids to have a chance. These are our future. Like, no parent should bury their kid. Right. Especially at the hands of another kid that just had no guidance. So we have to do something. And I'm doing it with music. You know, hip-hop. Hip hop is my number one. And I've spoken to so many artists about this. That is one of the genres that when I was working through this gave me discounted prices. They were like, E, we rock with you. Let's do this. They stood by this, they stand for it. So I'm gonna keep on moving. Now I'm just gonna find a different way. Maybe rebrand. I was told to stop the violence is what? Deterred everyone. So maybe rebrand it. Maybe stop the violence will become the foundation and donate to foundations. I'm not sure yet. I just know I'm not giving up. And Lizette, you know, I've lost a ton of money trying to get this going. But this is where my passion's at. This is what I'm doing for my son, and to make sure that no mother goes through this. Like, even watching you cry, I felt like I had to straight, I had to be strong for her. Like, we shouldn't have to go through this. Like, we we shouldn't. Not not at a for a 23-year-old kid. They weren't violent kids. Even the kid, like you were telling me with your son, all I could think about is how misguided was he? And he went through this with his father. Like that kid had no chance at life. Right. I want to be able to give kids that. Like come after school, before school, through the summer, like set it up. Just what program do you want to go through? Let's make a donation for this kid to go there. That's the only way these kids are gonna survive these streets. This is not the 80s. When we were young, we could walk three miles away and be safe. I don't allow my son to go two blocks away. And I feel I literally moved so that I could be closer to the school so he can have the freedom to walk to school. And most of his friends are in that area, so he's allowed to go out. Like he begs me, Mom, and there was no kids on the block where the house was. Mom, please let me go out. Please, and I work a lot and I can't take him everywhere. No, and like it, I would get so frustrated. I was like, I lost one kid, I'm not losing another. And he doesn't grasp that, but he also should not have to pay for it, neither. So we gotta do something. Somebody's gotta do something. Like, and it it gives me peace. Because I know that my son would have been right on board if he was here. Like, yep, mom, let's do this. Let's, I it sounds great, let's do it. And that's what because he used to take kids under his wing. Like, you know, kids he went to school with that, mom, they ain't got no place to sleep tonight. They're fighting with their parents. Can they come over? That was him. Here our boys are hanging out and have it the same way. So, you know, like why can't we do this? Yeah. And I'm gonna keep on going and keep on going. And even if I don't have a youth center, there's gonna be a foundation that will fund all these existing youth programs that are active.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

I love what you said about turning your pain into purpose. And Tasha, as your best friend, I could tell you, right, in your face that you need to find a way to forgive. And I know how that sounds, and I know that's probably selfish or even shut up, shut the fuck up, is that no, because it's just I I know forgiveness is for you.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

I know, I know it's for me. I know it's for me. Probably a and I know I think I know what you mean. Maybe a little down the road, um I'll be in.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

Well, you shut it down earlier. You like never.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

I I I probably will. I'll let let's correct it. Let's clear it up. I will never say never because we never know what God is gonna put in my heart. So I know right now I don't feel forgiveness. I don't think I can. That's okay. But I know that I need to. I know that I need to because it's something that's gonna help me get past a lot. I have an organization that I deal with in New York. It's called No Voice Unheard. It is an organization that I got involved with. The young lady started it the same year that my son passed. So I have been one of her number one supporters. I go to all of her events. We do community walks with our kids on a banner. It's a big banner. We do walks, we wear orange for the no gun violence, no guns. I could probably get you in contact with her. She could probably help you out a little out here. It is something that she is very, very passionate about in New York. So Yeah, I would like to. Well, New York, New York is one of the stops. Her name is Melody, and I would definitely like to get you guys in touch with each other.

SPEAKER_00 49:55

That would be great because New York is actually one of the states that Stop the Violence was supposed to go to. So Orlando, because we live here now. I was going to Atlanta because it's on the way, but that's also a big state for music, like especially hip-hop. And then New York was gonna be the next stop. So it's something that I want to take and raise funds for youth programs in all these states. So that would be great. That would be great.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

I definitely give you her link on Instagram so you can hit her up. I'll give her a heads up. I have a text as well. I can also text her and just give her a heads up that you're gonna be in contact with her.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

I just looked them up on Facebook. You could find them on the no voice unheard LLC. Go look them up and go follow them on Instagram at no voice unheard not ever. When I said that to Tasha, were you like, shut up, Lizette? Because I know, I know I can't, I don't have a right to tell y'all how to feel or think. You know, I get that part. And I don't even want to be selfish and bring up my twins, but I have faced my daughter losing her life dozens of times. They were born early, but I have, I mean, she's had probably 50 surgeries. I don't even know how many surgeries and how many times she's been under anesthesia. So of course, I know it's a different kind of grief, and I still have my girls, but my family does go through a lot day to day. We we live in a medical world at home. It's like we're permanent nurses to our child. I I am not trying to compare at all or trying to act like I really get it, but you know, I have been close to losing her. You know, I know I can't compare. You know, I remember with other special needs moms or other moms that were in the NICU with me, and they say all the cliche stuff. I wanted to slap them. It's like, you know, shut up. You can't tell me how to feel. So I I know. Absolutely. I know I know you probably want to jump over and oh, no, girl. Girl, we would have been full. We would have been fighting already.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

I just want to let you know I I didn't feel that way because I want to point one thing out. She had mentioned how it changed everybody's lives, this action, even the kid that, like all these kids, I feel she's still extremely angry like I am, but in her heart, she's already forgiven because a person that has not forgiven would have never said something like that. The fact that it it wasn't just her life that was affected, it was everyone's life, including this young man who did this. So extremely angry. I am very angry. But the figginess, the figuredness is there, but we all have to find our ways. Like I do an angel anniversary. Every November 24th, I have everybody come over and at 8.19 we release balloons. 8.19 is the time that my son was pronounced. My son was at 10 10 p.m. So I and I we release balloons. We have someone says a prayer, we release the balloons, 8.19. Every November 24th, I don't care what day of the week it falls on. Another thing is my son's birthday. Every year on his birthday, I make his favorite food. It's the only time of year that I make it. These are things that I found that help me because I'm celebrating him. So, along with these, because mentally I have to be okay. Yeah. And I did do counseling and I was very, I was like, I got friends, I don't need to counsel. I never did counseling. It was the best thing I did.

SPEAKER_01 53:11

I suggest to people like, if if it's there, like you know, if the counseling is there, take it. Don't don't be stubborn like me. It took me a lot of years to deal with what I'm dealing with, and I still have my moments.

SPEAKER_02 53:22

Oh, yeah. I think I'm sure it's gonna be easier.

Building Youth Programs Through Music

SPEAKER_01 53:24

I didn't take the counseling the way I should have. And I definitely should have taken it. It's not too late. It wasn't, no, it's never, it's never too late. I can definitely still take it, but I think that I'm in a place in my mind right now where I'm learning to cope with a lot of things a little bit more easier. I think because I got justice now, I think that that played a lot in my healing. That played a big role in me being able to go to sleep a little better at night because I didn't sleep for seven years, just waiting for my son to come home, knowing that these kids were still running the street, knowing that they could potentially hurt somebody else. And then also the fact that my other kids are walking around, you know, they're young adults, and New York is not as big as people think. It's a small city, okay? And everybody bumps into everybody, and everybody knows everybody, some way, shape, or form. Okay. And like I said, we were able to find out who it was before the police knew. And it's because social media talks, these kids talk. We were playing detective on everything. Like, when I tell you, I tell you I had pictures, I was sending the pictures to the police. My son's case was all on the news, and they were like looking for these two girls that ran into a store that night. And these were the two girls who lied and said these two other kids' names and distered them from the two other people that really did it. But I found these girls and I sent a copy of their ID. It just so happened like I knew somebody who knew the girl who had a copy of her photo legal state ID. Wow. And I was able to send it to the detectives right away. And from then on, like things just started to like take off and take place. Like it was literally like playing a game of clue, yeah, trying to figure this out. Like I said, it took a few years, but I'm grateful that it happened. I'm grateful that we got the verdict that we got because again, that played a lot of my healing. I still have a lot of healing to do. I will never say I don't. Again, we'll never fully be healed from this. This will be with us till the day we die. Probably we'll be in our deathbed reaching out and calling out their names, waiting for them to pick us up. And I've seen that happen with my grandpa passing, you know, like he was crying for his mom. So I know I'm gonna see my son. I know that my healing is not fully there. Probably, like you said, I probably did forgive them and not fully aware of it yet. Well, you're never gonna forget. And I'm living that every day. I will never forget. It's challenging. And that's the reason why I want to come out to Florida because I don't want to be in the same, like I still live in the same apartment my son lived. My son and I lived in. My younger son took over his bedroom, you know. And to be honest, I've been like, and then you don't want to move to the other room? Like, the other, the other room is empty. Let's uh this is your brother's room. He just looks at me like, no, ma, you know, like I still have his clothes. I never got rid of his clothes. Like, I have them there in bins. I have just so I can like savor his smell, his scent on certain things. I have all his sneakers, like I have his car keys. I even though we don't have the car anymore, I've still kept the set of those keys. Even before I left out here, like I said, I came here for a specific reason, but it was his birthday this week on the 19th. So I celebrated it as soon as I got here. I made a penny. I'm in an Airbnb girl, and I made a freaking penny. You know I can never stop cooking. So I'm like, I made I made so much food, baked mac and cheese, things that my son liked. And then for me, it's different. So my son passed away Memorial Weekend, August 31st. So that's a time where Labor Day, Labor Day. Labor Day, sorry, you're right. I always get them reversed. But that's a time of the year that it used to be a happy time for me. And I used to go outside and barbecue and celebrate. Now my family and I, we call it Nick's Day. It's Nick's Day. We we go outside and we celebrate Nick. We buy balloons, we let them off. There's no more Labor Day for us. Like we have friends that are like, oh, we're doing a barbecue for Labor Day. Come over. I'm like, no, no, thank you. We're having a barbecue tomorrow for next day. You're more than welcome to come. But that's our way of like dealing and remembering and trying to get the kids to cope with it, you know, always celebrating his life. Just celebration of life. I think that's helping.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

I think that helps. I think that helps mainly because one of my biggest fears was forgetting. Forgetting him, forgetting how he sounded, forgetting how he smelled, forgetting what he liked. Yeah. So I don't ever want to forget. So this is what we do. We celebrate their birthdays, we celebrate the day that they pass. We we do everything, we move with everything in in mind of them, what they liked. Like I said, I mean, I stopped smoking weed when I got pregnant at 20. Like I didn't do it no more. My son found this. And I remember bringing the bong into the funeral home, and I'm like, listen, so this is the way it goes. I was like, my son was high all day long. Like, this was his thing. He got onto it. He got onto it late in life. So he was what we did when we were 15 and 16, he's doing in 20 and 21. And I remember the funeral home just looked at me and was like, I ain't never done nothing like this before, but I am definitely with it. And they even put like the little weed leaves in his little pamphlets that they made. We decorated like his funeral, like there was edibles, like we just we celebrated his life. Okay, he liked it. And I know he sat there and said, Really, Ma, I have to be gone for you to be okay with this. But I do believe you gotta celebrate someone's life with what they enjoy. Not what you wanted, not how I wanted. The way they did it, right? Absolutely, it's a memory of them. Yeah, it doesn't matter what we liked or not. That wasn't our life. This was their life. If we're gonna celebrate their life, it has to be their life, and I do it every year.

SPEAKER_02 59:16

I'm so glad that you both have been so open and sharing. Erica, I still want to talk about key entertainment a little more. Okay. Do you have a website? Yes. So is there a way for people to donate?

SPEAKER_00 59:28

So maybe you can donate to some of these organizations in the meantime or I had the Imagine Inc. is the nonprofit. Again, 501c3. Like I'm legit all the way with it. I did have the website open for that, but because things weren't adding up and there was so much, I let it, I didn't want to keep paying for it. Right. So I let it shut down. So it's on pause. It's on pause. The website is on pause. I still own the domain, but I'm doing everything through Key Entertainment now. And once I get where I need to be, then I will bring the website back up for things like that. So basically, anything that says presented by Key Entertainment, all those proceeds get donated to this nonprofit so that this nonprofit can blossom to be the what it's supposed to be. And like I said, youth centers, youth programs, everything like that. Key Entertainment is the sole sponsor right now. And we're gonna keep it that way until Imagine is developed to where it's supposed to be. They it's just donations. I do have, because Imagining does have a bank account. I do have a Zealy. Is it Zealy? Zefi site set up. I think it's called Zeffy. I created a it's a donation site, and I created that a while ago, but when I did the websites, because I can take donations through the websites, I never really did anything with it. So there is that. I may bring I have to bring it back up and look into it. But Kia Entertainment is revamping for this year to focus on what it really wants to focus on for imagining. So while I'm working on anything, I will and I'll text you and let you know. What's your age group for your youth that you're trying to reach out to, like your age limits? Middle school to high school. Okay. Because I think those are the most those are the ones that need it the most and the most impressive.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:07

Peer pressure and things are shifting in their life.

Forgiveness, Therapy, And What Not To Say

SPEAKER_02 1:01:09

Yeah, so 12 and up is is the age group that if anyone's listening and they want to help Erica or Bless her, please reach out to me from Apple to Oranges at Gmail. Apple's no S at the end. From Apple to Oranges. And hopefully, maybe, you know, maybe you get someone to sponsor you this year or something. Listen.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:29

Hey, goal. That is the goal. I'm working on it. Give these kids something, and this is gonna be a pocket, a positive impact that you're doing. Absolutely. And when you move to Florida, we could do things together.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:40

Together, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:42

I'm done with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:43

Yeah. I'm so glad that I got to introduce you because uh Erica, last year when you were working on Stop the Violence, Hear the Music, right away I thought about Tasha. I was like, oh, I hope she's out here. In fact, I told you that save the date, bring your butt to Florida for this event.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

And I remember Yeah, I remember you telling me about because you get on saying, I want you guys to meet, I want you guys to meet. And unfortunately, you I I rescheduled that. I actually moved because there was nothing, like nothing. It was three tickets sold. And so I moved it to Atlanta. And seven weeks before the event, not one ticket sold. And I had no sponsors. Like this was all me working two jobs and you know, paying for this. And I was just like, I'm just gonna have to cancel it. I was fortunate enough that a few of the artists were willing to work with me afterwards. So, like I said, what we're doing is we're breaking it up into smaller shows, and we're working on that, and I'll let you know what comes up next. But we're working on smaller shows with the artists that are still willing, you know, to honor their contract with me.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:41

Give your handle so those listening can uh follow you and we could keep tabs on what you got going on because I definitely want to see that event happen. Are you planning to make it an annual thing or it's that's the goal?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:52

The goal is to be annual, and the the goal is to go into every state and donate to the youth programs in those states. So that's that's the goal. But we're gonna start off with Florida, New York, those states. But key entertainment across Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, maybe abbreviated with key, and then entertainment is broken down to ENT M T. Also, Imagine Inc. and Stop the Violence do have Facebook pages. So you can also follow them there. Stop the Violence does have a TikTok page. But like I said, I haven't been too active with them because I'm revamping. So once all of that is, but everything goes on. Key entertainment is still active, and I do everything through that right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:32

I want to say on this show so far, I highlight overall how much I love New York and I still do and I miss it. Because, you know, when I moved here, Tasha knows it wasn't my choice, you know, and it was traumatizing because I left behind a lot of friends and people who meant the world to me, and we grew up together, you know, in the Bronx, and I couldn't let it go, you know. But I'm glad that I got to, I guess, see the best of both worlds, so to speak. You know, I had to forgive my parents for moving out here, you know. And sometimes I don't feel like I really forgave them, you know. It's like, ugh. But Sasha, I hope if and when you do, when you do move out here.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:08

Well, I mean, my house is for sale. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Four bedrooms. Got a pool. Gotta pool. So I water pool. Saltwater pool.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:17

And talk now. And it's caged in. Like, we're gonna have to talk to make it that. Wow. Might just be here sooner than the other.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

Right? You might be here very soon.

unknown 1:04:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:29

But you know, I I I know why my parents moved me here. And um, you know, I could, I could, I could appreciate that. You know, I've got to build my career here, and you know, I've built on the blessings that was meant for me here in Florida, which I'm so glad it led to today happening. And I just thank you both so much for sharing your story. You know, I I I I stood quiet most of the time. I'm like, you know, I don't even know what to ask because this is such a sensitive topic. And having experienced some trauma with my daughter, I know you've been through a lot, a lot. And we we thank you so much for sharing your heart today. And I hope it blesses a mom listening to cope. Because one thing that helped me when I finally realized that whatever I was feeling through what I was going through was normal for me. I didn't feel so crazy. I didn't feel so helpless. I didn't feel like I needed to lean on anybody. Like at first, I was kind of like, we're drowning here. We need help. I wasn't getting the offers you were getting. You know, my babies were in the hospital for months, and nobody was offering to cook clean, take care of Melinda when she was a baby. I didn't get that. You didn't get that.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:33

No. No. But I don't, I don't have a family like that either. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:37

Well, I did, you know, and it was different. I mean, this is a whole nother topic. I'm sorry. But I guess my goal for this show is that someone can feel supported from afar, that they could hear your voice and it gives them a sense of comfort.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:51

Knowing that they're not alone. Absolutely. Knowing that they're not alone. And there's other people in this world that are dealing with things. We might deal with it quietly. But you're not alone. Right. You know, and always try to see past, you know, what's happening in the now. Yeah. And try to think about what's gonna happen in the then, you know? Because there's always a brighter future. We may have lost our our kids, our children, our first, but we gained friendships, meeting new people. We're able to share our experience. We're celebrating them more now than ever. I mean, we only celebrated birthdays when they were here, you know. Now these these kids are getting it all. But it it's good to know that there's there's other people in this world that are dealing with it. And we're not alone, you know, and it's normal to feel what we're feeling sometimes. Sometimes we're angry, sometimes we don't want to deal with nobody. We don't want nobody in our house. And it's okay. Yeah. It's okay to be like that. You know, it's okay. It's okay to say no, not today. Or I just want to be in my room today. It's okay to wake up in the morning and let out those tears and start your day off after that. It's fine. And it's okay to be angry. It's okay to be angry and it's okay to forgive. As you as you said, it's okay for that. Nobody's here to judge. Things happen. And it's how you deal with them, is what matters and what makes it. I'm thankful for you guys being my friends because you guys help me a lot. You're always checking on me, you're always calling me. You know, I'm I'm thankful for the community of friends I have. I may not take every offer that everybody gives me, but I'm very thankful and grateful for my circle that I have and for the people that the Lord has placed in my life to help me deal with everything I'm dealing with right now. It's a lot. It's not, it's not for the average and it's not for the normal. I think God knows we can deal with these battles better than anybody else can. I just met you today. I could see you a tough cookie just like me. So, not that we want it done. Right. Like, shit, don't test us like this. Sorry for the cursing, but I think they know what they what they're doing. Like, we can deal with it. We're gonna get not past it, but we're gonna get through it. Through it. Through it.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:02

It's our new normal.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:03

You know, it's it's become our new norm.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:05

Yeah, every day we wake up to our new normal. Yeah. I do, I will say one thing. The one thing I wanted to express, the first time of me telling this publicly was supposed to be at the stop the violence. I didn't get a chance. One thing I want to express, I was one of those, it could never happen to me. Do not feel that way. Because that is the furthest thing from the truth. Yeah, especially you moving out here to avoid that. I mean, I mean, I remember because I even remember when Trayvon Martin happened. I was like, my kid walks around with his hood up and like this is my kid, that could have been my kid. But deep down in my mind, I was like, oh, that's not gonna happen to me. It's that's the furthest thing from the truth. And if you do know anybody, especially a mother that's going through this, the things you want to stay away from are, are you okay? No, the fuck I'm not. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:48

And and that's what I was gonna ask you too, because we never know what to say being on this side.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:53

Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing. Right. You don't ever ask a grieving mother how they're doing because you're not my brother. Can tell you what his what my response to him was. Another thing is share that. Well, my brother, he that he didn't know what to say, so all he kept on asking was, Are you okay? Are you okay? And then I was like, you know what? Stop fucking asking me. I'm sorry for cursing. Stop fucking asking me that question.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:14

We ain't on the radio. This is a podcast. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:16

Stop fucking asking me that question because my son is dead. I will never be okay. Don't ask me that. Another thing is, don't tell me not to feel guilty because there wasn't something I could have done. We are parents. Our job is to protect our child. I failed. Whether there was something I can do or not.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:31

You didn't fail.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:32

I failed at protecting my child. You can't say that. Okay. You can't say because this this is the way I feel, and I'm living with that. My apologies. Don't, yeah, don't ever, you can't tell them that.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:43

No, you're right. You're right. Because I know people told me stuff not to make this about me again. But yeah, no, you're right.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:48

Yeah, you can't tell a parent how you know how to feel. Because we we're all gonna, even what you're going through, what we went through, what if I would have done this? What if I I mean my son, I remember when Phil had eight, they diagnosed him with ADHD. I was like, well, maybe I shouldn't have drank Pepsi when I was pregnant. As parents, this is what we do. We're always gonna ask, what if I would have done this? And I sit there all the time. If I would have, you know, I may not have been able to stop him from getting in that car. But something I've I along the last few years, maybe if I would have made a different choice, he would have not been in the area to where he could have gotten that car. Like, so it goes back. No, I couldn't have pulled him out of the car. No, I couldn't have stopped the b bully. But somewhere during this lifeline, there was something I did that led up to these chain of actions that happened. So this is what I mean by it. You know, like you can't, we're gonna feel it.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:36

So, how does a family member, a friend support you through it? If there's a mom that's listening because she just lost her son and she is going through all those grievances and all those moments of confusion when it comes to, you know, the grief part of it, how to feel the anger.

Community Help That Actually Works

SPEAKER_00 1:10:51

Feel it. Go through it, be angry. I was mad at my son. I was angry at my son for a long time. Be angry. Feel good. Grief comes in phases and there's no order. It's eight years later, and I'm still going through it. I'm still angry at him. I'm still angry that this kid, whether it be even though he's paralyzed, my son didn't get justice because you're the one that put him in that prediction. How dare you? I'm still angry. I'm still, I still have the guilt. Like, why, like, why? Like, why did you do this? Why would it? It's a mixed emotions. As mothers, I strongly recommend counseling. I was strongly against it. I got friends, I don't need to talk to strangers. That was the best thing that I did. Because by the second session, I was like, and I it just all came out. And when it all comes out, it's just like, because you don't realize you're not telling your friends and family everything. Yeah. Because you don't want to burden them. And like I stood here all the time and I'm like, well, this is mine to deal with. I shouldn't have to down, you know, make everyone feel sad or put everybody in in that down mood because I'm feeling this way. So you end up stop talking about it. And I may not go to counseling irregularly, but when I feel I need it, I'm on the phone with my counselor and we're talking. And it helps because I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, all that. I refuse to be medicated. So if I gotta call up, talk to a stranger, then that's what we're doing. And if I gotta keep on doing what I'm doing, that's what we're doing. That's why I told you it's never too late. I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:15

Unfortunately, I did a lot of therapy when I was young. So that's why I used to wait. Yeah, yeah. I I had a lot of that. I suffered from a few things, but therapy just wasn't for me. I just didn't feel speaking to anybody at the time was for me. I am very in touch with my feelings and my emotions. I'm a crybaby a lot of times. So I am able to just, and not to mention that I have like split personalities. So I'm good with talking to myself, unfortunately. And so those people, all that live inside of me, we all were able to deal with uh with this grief. Like one person was, you know, a little off the rocker, and she was able to calm down the other person. But seriously, I did a lot of crying. I blamed God when it first happened. I didn't know who else to blame. I felt like he was a higher power and he was in control of everything. And I was very, very angry with him in the beginning, and then I got over that stage. Because, like you said, there are different stages of grief. Anger is one of them, and it's the most strongest one, I think, to deal with because the anger leads you to blame people and look at the scenario differently. It makes you question things that you shouldn't question because ultimately you couldn't control that situation, you couldn't control that scenario. Somebody made a wrong decision to do something on both nights going on eight years ago because my son was taken in 2018 as well. So I don't know, something something was in the water these kids were drinking around that year. I don't know. But counseling is it it is. I do suggest it for other people because some people are not gonna be able to deal with it. Some people can deal with it, some people can't. Me personally, I was able to deal with it because I have three other children and I have four grandchildren that I know I have to still function for and still do things because at the end of the day, I am the person in my house. Now that my son is not here, it's me. You know, it's it's back to being me again. Like I had it a little light. I didn't have to work as much as I used to when my son was alive, but now it's like back to getting two jobs again, back to having to try to stack up, back, you know, back to building up things. Like I said, he lost we lost the vehicle that night that um he was taken in because he was taken in it, so it was put as evidence. And then because the case took so long to resolve itself and get justice, we lost the vehicle. There's so much that trickle effect affected this from this event that I'm just like, maybe I should have done the counseling, you know. Maybe it would have helped me a little bit better with some things, but I did take the bulk of that weight on myself. And, you know, like I said, I was dealing with my kids. Like I didn't want to seem weak to them because I'm mom and mom knows how to deal with everything. Mom, mom is gonna help you deal with it, you know, and I think that was more of a reason why I didn't do it. Not that I didn't need it, I probably still need it for other things, but I just felt at the time like I can't show my kids my weakness, my pain, you know, like, oh, mommy's going to therapy. Like, oh, you know, like what's wrong with her? So that was more of a reason why I didn't do it. Not pride, but more just strength. Strength, a little bit of stubbornness, a lot of stubbornness. I'm a capricorn. It's the Bronxian in us. I'm a Capricorn, also, so I have a whole lot of stubbornness mixed in me on top of being a Bronxite. Right?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:46

So I think it, yeah, because that's the same thing. It's like I didn't want to be weak. I was like, I don't know how to be weak. And I'm not comfortable, like I think there's another reason why I'm single. Because I'm not comfortable being weak around anybody. Like, I won't let my guard down. I and the men, even my youngest son's, my youngest son's father, I'm like, I don't think it's gonna work. He was like, you don't want a man because you are a man. Well, you know, like listen, this is the way I grew up. I'm not weak, I'm not submissive, I'm not, I don't, I don't know what it is. I just I can't. So I did really when you said weak, I was like, yep, I remember sitting there saying, I'm not weak, I gotta be strong. Which is why, like, we when you were crying, it was like, I can't be weak, I gotta be strong. I think it's just something that I do think it's a Bronx thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:30

It's our upbringing for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:31

I can relate to that.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:32

I'll just leave it there. I'm scared to say anything now because uh you guys gotta be like, don't say that. No, no, respectfully so, respectfully so. I get it. I love you both so much for coming here today too, and sharing. And um, I just want to give you both an opportunity to like share some last words, whatever you want to say.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:53

Well, I want to say to everybody listening, please help contribute to this organization that is being started. It's gonna profit your kids if you have young ones that you are worried and concerned about being in the street and not having something to do, an outlet. You know, it's it's an outlet for the youth. Think about when you were young, the things that you did, place to play basketball, just to hang out with your friends, you know, like no violence, just normal laughing, and let's just hang out, let's be teenagers. Think about that, you know, and think about how good this is gonna be if it takes off. I mean, there's so many opportunities that could come out of this. I mean, not only can it take your kid out of the street, it'll save a life. It's gonna save a life, and that's the most important part of it all is to save lives. Right, absolutely, you know, because this youth is our future. There are future politicians, there are future lawyers, our future police doctors that we need. We need in this time of age because look around you. People are getting old and dying out, and these kids are not having interest in school the way they should. And it's because they don't have people to really talk to them and guide them and tell them like the support system, the support system. Yeah, you know this. Not every parent is a good parent. Let's just say, for better words, not every parent is equipped to be a parent or know how to be a parent. Right. And your choices, the way you're raising your kid, is affecting other people's lives. And to be given this opportunity to open up community centers in the neighborhood, or even just helping kids get into a program, get into a sports, or you know, achieve a dream that they want to do to get them to where they need to be in the future is a great opportunity. So I hope that people take advantage and try to support this organization. Let's get it off its feet, let's get the funding in so that we can get this going because I'm really supporting you on this and definitely gonna get you in contact with my friend.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:54

And I appreciate that because this is a passion. I do want to say I remember when I was a kid, it was a community. I'm not saying we beat each other's kid. Don't beat nobody's kid, but I I mentioned earlier that I left home at 13. There was a woman in the neighborhood who helped kids like me. She would take us in and we stood in her house. Kids like that don't have it no more. You don't know what a child's going through. You know, you have your house and you've raised your kid right, and then this kid has a crackhead parent and doesn't have stability. You don't know the last time they ate, they can't afford anything. Their mindset is different. You have to understand them. Don't judge them, don't keep your kids away from them because of that. I mean, monitor it and make sure that they're not leading your kid. But teach your kid to be that stronger friend and take them out of it because that's what I had. My friends came and got me. I was the youngest, but they came and got me. They made sure I had a roof over my head, they made sure I ate. And hell, I turned out pretty good. We can do that. Like, teach your kids to be a good friend. Teach them what real friendship is. You don't judge someone because of the way they're dressed or because of what their parents do. Judge them for who they are and guide them. Friendship, like people just don't know what friendship is anymore.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:03

And that's why I miss New York and my people there, because I feel like my New York friends are still to this day some of the best friends I've ever had. I know if I need something, I can call Tasha. The majority of mine moved here already. Yeah. Oh, I have some friends here that moved here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gun Violence Numbers And Hard Truths

SPEAKER_00 1:20:20

We gonna talk about that. Yeah, like half a pro half a prospect lives in Florida right now. Yeah, and I I mean, any help, and I'm I I love that she said that and I thanked for it. But it it's not only me too. Like if there's if there's youth programs, if your kids are in a youth program and you have a couple extra dollars, donate it to the next kid. If you see, like with me, I don't want to be city funded because that the city has too much control and you're not allowed to do a lot of things. So this is all through fundraising. So if you see a nonprofit that's out there for the youth, support it because we're not getting funded from the youth. Because I can get I can go get a building from Orlando right now, and they'll give me a building to open this youth center, and I can get the funding to build it, but they will have control. And sometimes kids don't need that. What they need is someone to sit on the floor with them, play a video game and bond, make them feel comfortable and you know, open up. And trust you, these are our youths. They're they are our future. It takes a community, and let's just be a community and do it. I don't care where you're from. If you see a kid that, you know, they can't go to this program because their parents can't afford it, and you have the money, donate it. Find a way, say Yeah, like you know, you see all these videos of all these people paying off people's, you know, kids' school lunches and these little kids raising, selling what was it, lemonade and cookies and raising funds to help. I've seen so many videos, I've seen a few videos of kids who would ask their mother to buy another kid a pair of sneakers because they were being made fun of. That's what we need in this world. Because it used to be that way. I remember it being that way because I was the poor kid that needed, you know, and I always had, I always had, and I think it needs to be returned. Like we need to of everything that comes back, let's be payful. Let's bring that back, let's bring back supporting and not judging.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:11

I want to give them some statistics so they could think about the reasons why they should support your organization. Yes. So in Florida, and this is for 2023, there was about 32, over 3,200 gun-related deaths in Florida. Now, Florida is way bigger than New York, right? Land mass-wise. Okay, there was over a thousand that were homicides, 299 were suicides, and 132 were from kids ages 1 through 17. In New York, for 2023, anyway, and I heard that the numbers improved this year. There were 943 total gun deaths in the city, in all the boroughs, 430 were homicides, 491 were suicides, and 43 were ages 1 through 17. From 943 in 2024, that dropped to like 600 and something, which is a great improvement. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:01

We have a new commissioner.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:02

Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. And I couldn't pull up numbers for 2025 yet. Nor could I find much on Florida, those specific statistics to match like the statistics I just gave you. I couldn't pull up those numbers to compare, but it's good to see that, you know, things have improved in New York anyway. When you hear those, does that ever mean anything to you? Do you care about those numbers? I know you care about your children, your sons, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:28

I do care about the numbers because it just means that there's that many people that are feeling what we're feeling. Yeah. You know, somebody that lost a loved one. And it makes you wonder like, over what? Over what? Like, what gives a person a right to take somebody's life? Like, half the time it's over nonsense. I told you my my son from a look in the street. I mean, it's over nonsense, half these kids. And to hear from ages one to 17 is outrageous. Outrageous. Like I said, I feel gun safety and laws need to be a little bit more stricter. Definitely, if if you have a firearm in your house and you have a child, a young one, lock it up. Or teach them. Lock it up. There's not even teaching you can do. I mean But what I'm saying is like you teach them. No, absolutely. I grew up with with firearms in my dad's house.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:18

Yeah, you teach them like like my room is off limits.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:21

A kid is a kid, you know? A kid is a kid. And you have a friend over, and what if that friend is curious? You know, what if their parent didn't teach them? Now what? Your son, who is fully knowledgeable of it, does not know not to fuck around with it. What does this kid know? Right. That's true. Does this kid think it's a toy? If you took the proper precautions already and locked it up, put that that lock on it, they can't pull a trigger or nothing. There's so many precautions that can happen. You know, I like we hear about the the young kid violence over there in New York also. I mean, it's not as high over there because we don't have legal gun license over there. It's not permitted. Unless you're working with the law department or like a security, armed security, you're not allowed to walk with a gun out there. You don't even have a license here anymore. You can't, no, you can't do any of that. So, you know, it's it's the kids getting it. They go into other states, they're bringing them in. It's probably law enforcement giving it out to these kids to fucking kill each other off. I mean, there's just the logistics of New York. Like, they put you into this circle where they want us to just kill each other. That's the whole purpose of a project, you know? There we're a project to them. The projects are a project, okay? You have to beat those statistics and get out of there, which is one of the main reasons why I want my kids to be out of there. We're not a project, right? We're not rats running around, you know, lab rats for them to see. We're not doing that. We're gonna get out of there. We're gonna give them a better opportunity, and with those opportunities comes the choices and decisions that they have to make. All we can do as a parent is hope that they make the right choices and decisions because things happen, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:59

And I believe this is the time when no matter what, like our government is tearing is a topic for a whole nother day, but I gotta put it out of there. They our government is instilling its separation into us and division over stupid things like the color of your skin and your religion. Like that's crazy. As long as they keep us divided, we're never gonna win. Unite. Get over the fact that that person's Muslim and that person's Catholic and that person's Buddhist. So what? Is one God. We all know this. When we fight the aliens, we all gotta fight them together. We all gotta fight them together. You know, don't be mad at someone because of the color of their skin. Like, and I wasn't brought up that way. So I've never, like, Florida's what taught me that. So what? What I don't give a shit what your the color of your skin is. As long as you respect me, I respect you. Let's respect each other, honor each other. Because as long as we are united, then we have the power to make the changes in these gun laws. Like I mentioned, in the state of Florida, you no longer need a license to carry. I mean, I'm licensed and I'm going to renew my license. And when my son brought up owning a gun, I took him to the class, we took that class together. You will learn the responsibility. I felt he was too young for it, but learn the responsibilities. Make it like our deal was you have to do 30 days in a range after your license to purchase your own gun. And he did it. You know, like just be stronger. Be strong on your kids. Unite. Like we, like I said, it's a community, all of us. It doesn't matter. Like that, that's the only way we're gonna be successful. I remember someone asked me, my accountant, when I started Imagine, and he asked me why. And he asked me, What do you think people are gonna think about this white woman trying to save the black child? I looked at him, I said, one, who told you I was white from the Bronx. We're not white. Right. I said, Two, I never said black children, I said youth. Poverty comes in all colors, bad homing situations. Come in all colors. I said, and if you ever ask me something like that again, we can't do business. His response was, I wanted to make sure you were doing this for the right reasons. That's all I needed to know. And because other, you know, like anybody can know, what are you opening up? Like, why are you doing this? Wow, you know. And he wanted to make sure I was opening it for the right reasons, but it threw something in the face. I was like, I'm not, I'm just trying to give youth a support system. Like, is this the way people really think? And we gotta stop it. Stop it, people. Let's go. We gotta get it together. I promise you, you don't want to live with the grief of losing a child. Or knowing that your child took someone else's life. Kid that shot my son. I called his mother and apologized to her for her loss. Because you lose that person loses their child as well. Yeah, sorry for your loss. Everyone loses. Like it doesn't matter which ended. Just don't be the parent of a child that's gonna kill someone. And you don't want to be the parent that loses the child. So we have to work together. Starts at home.

Final Words, How To Support

SPEAKER_02 1:28:54

It absolutely does. And I believe this was such a powerful episode. I love you both. Thank you for sharing once again. Thank you for having us. And thank you for trusting me to share your stories on this podcast. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:07

I couldn't think of a better person.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:09

Thank you for checking out From Apple to Oranges podcast. Give us a follow on IG at From Apple to Oranges or at Lizette Perez and hit me up if you want to be on a future episode. Leave us a comment below. And if you would like to support the show, don't forget to tap that link. Now my next guest is Michele Valentine. Now she is a Floridian. Her dad is from Brooklyn, but she has not spent too much time in New York. I brought her on the show to share her perspective about New York City as a Floridian, and she just spent the month in New York for her job. I follow her on TikTok and she has so much fun content about her New York experience. I had to bring her on. Plus, she is also a solo travel agent. She's gonna share some expertise on how someone could plan a solo trip. So we will discuss that on the next episode. Plus, share some amazing Florida hotspots for a great staycation and how to plan a solo trip in and mainly out of the country. She loves to travel alone. Follow the podcast so you don't miss out. I'm Lizette Perez's besitos to you. Until the next one.