A Brooklyn Wake Up Call: The Decision That Saved His Life with Arcy Vazquez

Arcy, known online as Eternal Coach, grew up in Brooklyn in the 70s and 80s, where staying safe meant staying aware, and where “normal” could include knives, fights, and the constant pressure to prove yourself.

 He shares the moment his mom pulled up while he was on the corner and gave him a life saving choice. That moment plus what happened after,  is when he realized you can leave New York, but New York does not immediately leave you.

We also dig into what he does now as a life coach after retiring from the Navy and how he feels about Florida after being here just 3 years.

Follow Arcy The Eternal Coach

https://www.instagram.com/eternalcoach?igsh=MWZwaWM1bWRxb3poMA==

Visit The Website 

https://eternalcoach.com/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZnRzaARJ7uBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAacP45__gTisAQLBK6RdL6kiPEopuLO4qK43XVlNH0fAA7hZlgxuNLuOhravEg_aem_o_bQLqfulvK4mq7bX8Zw7g

Help send me, Lizzette Perez to a special retreat for Moms like me with special needs kids.  My twins, Mia and Maya were micro preemies and have Cerebral Palsy.  Listen to episode 1 to learn more about my journey.  Besitos to you! 

https://labeledandloved.networkforgood.com/projects/263440-lizzette-perez-s-fundraiser?fbclid=IwZnRzaAPeHelleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEehKNOt12egjyNjg4KAL6EKPfuJ1os0hn0016v3gWXC5Yg93wCndPvViV_UBU_aem_-qclcBvRHEHJbL6cQTryVA

Thanks for listening!  Don't forget to Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode'

Transcript

Meet RC From Brooklyn

SPEAKER_01 0:00

My guest today is RC, known as Eternal Coach. Welcome, Mr. Brooklyn.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Lizette Perez. Brooklyn, stand up.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Yeah, how you doing today? You know what it is. Thank you so much for joining the podcast. I'm glad to finally get another Brooklyn story on the show because there's been a lot of big Bronx energy on this show so far. I'll allow it. I'll allow it, you know. Tell the audience a little something about yourself. Introduce yourself. We'll start with why you ended up moving to Florida.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Man, Lizette, we got similar stories. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, the same way you were forced out of New York City when your mom said we going?

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Yeah. Happened to you?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Man. But in front of my friends, we were right there on Pine Street, right between Atlantic and Fulton, playing stickball right in the middle of the street. And I was with my best friends, Eddie Vincent, Eddie Rod, you know. My mom pulled up the brown duster car that they all made fun of. She pulled up. She drove up. Oh, we're playing stickball. And she said, if you want to save your life, get in the car right now. And my friends were looking at me. They were like, we were just playing, we were playing stickball. All the guys were out there. And it was like a moment where we all stood still. My friends looked at me and he was like, nah, don't do it. I looked at my friend, looked at my mom, and I'm like, I'll be right back. I got my bags, literally, like whatever I got. Got in the car and left.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

How old were you?

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Right there, I was 16. Because she moved me from New York City to upstate to Latham. Because I was doing so bad in New York City, where I got kicked out the house when I was young. So I was forced to live with my dad. Because she thought my dad would make me into a man. And my dad was making me into a thug, is what it was. And she would sneak up on me. I'd be on the block with my two best friends, Eddie Vinson, Eddie Rod. And Eddie Vinson was this Italian dude that like was, I guess he was with the mafia. I don't know. But I'm just saying, like, the pizzeria at the corner, right there on Pine Street and Fulton. There's a pizzeria right there. He worked in that pizzeria, and all the cars are. Now listen, before I I wanted to stop right a second.

Rewind Party And Gen X Respect

SPEAKER_00 2:03

I we do have static first. I want to kind of correct. Okay. We got some static. And I want to address that first again to the whole story. The static is at the rewind party.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

With one or two jams recently, yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

At the rewind party. Uh-huh. I'm over there in VIP buying bottles. Here in Orlando. Okay. Here in Orlando. $300 bottles. And it takes two hours for y'all to pay homage to Gen X. I thought that was the whole point. No, no, no, no. The 70s babies. Y'all are going from 85 and up, 86 and up. I'm like, shh.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Well, we were we were doing what we used to play on the radio. We started in 88 and then went away. The radio station went away in 2014. We got flipped to something else. So this party was like one of our first big, big parties like that back in Orlando. We came back in 2024. We're still, we're still new to Orlando again. Okay, so although we're a throwback station, we did not start as a throwback station. And now we're back and we kind of go back from 2014 back to what? Whenever.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

So right, right. But you know, yeah. Other than to 102, like all the time. All the time. So hearing your voice, and then you know, you coming up to the VIP table and saying hi. I was like, man. I didn't think that was gonna happen. But you know, I was still a little kind of frustrated that because you wanted to hear what?

SPEAKER_01 3:25

What did you want to hear?

SPEAKER_00 3:25

No, not not that I want to hear it. I wanted to hear like, because y'all are paying homage to people. I'm like, well, you know, the 70s baby babies kind of built all this. We built the culture. You know, they they they said they said back then, you know, like the World War II guys were the best generation, you know, they they built the bridges and the buildings and you know, the most patriotic. I give them that. But Gen X built the hip-hop culture. You know, and started and I was born in 71. So growing up in Brooklyn, New York, in the 70s and early 80s, you know, it's it was definitely an experience that I'm glad I survived. You know, it's a blessing I got out of there. But man, it's like a movie in my head.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

So do you miss New York? Now that you've been away for so long, because you was you said you were 16.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

No, I was 16 when I moved upstate, but I was still going back and forth to New York City and Latham because all my grandma, everyone's still there. Your family's there, yeah. Right. Then I joined the military when I was 18, and then I was like kind of gone. But every time it was like holidays and Christmas and all the birthdays, I would fly back to New York, you know. So I was always going back there, but then I was always, I kept my New York license forever. Like I wouldn't give it up. You couldn't. I'll be stationed in California. They're like, your California license? I'm like, no, I'm keeping my New York license.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

So let's talk about your child, your actual, like when you was a little kid.

Growing Up Dodging Violence

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Like, what was it like growing up in Brooklyn?

SPEAKER_00 4:42

I'm gonna say, like, we had my mom, my mom was a single mom, and she's an educator. So she's big on like school and big on common sense. So at a very young age, mom was like, you guys gotta take public transportation, you know, get to school. And and I'm like seven, eight, you know? Yeah. And I was living over there in 210 Hemrod Street. So I come over seats. I'm gonna be addresses. 210 Hemrod. That's straight, that's like my knickerbocker over there. And early, young, I would, you know, get up early and take my sister, get on the bus, get on the train, go to school, and come back. And one time we came back, Lizette, true story, me and my sister walk in the house, and you know, I open the door, I walk in, and I see someone in the house in the back room. And he turned around and looked at me. So I told my sister to run. And I closed the door, but my jacket got caught in the door, and so I was stuck and I couldn't get out. And I had to open the door again, and it was crazy. But my young experience in New York was pretty much dodging violence. I got so many episodes of, you know, me being a young kid, having a knife to my neck at a coffee shop, you know, things like that that just keep on recurring. That my young childhood was always avoiding violence.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Were you scared of the city? Or do you feel like it was just such a norm that that was your day-to-day? You just knew to look out, but that's right.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Yeah, it kind of makes you into like a quiet lion. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, you know, the people out there are tougher than you and they could beat you up. You you feel it, but you also know that you could you could hurt somebody. But you don't want, but you don't want to go down that road because they're just as crazier than you and they have nothing to lose, you know, and they're looking for it. So not that I'm afra I was afraid of New York. I was just really aware of what the situation was when I was there.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Which I feel a lot of us who grew up there was like that. Because even though, you know, I was a female, my parents kept me home for the most part. You know, it was very rare that I could have run the streets by myself and go places. But when I did, I knew I had to be tough. You know what I mean? I just knew I had to carry myself a certain way. Especially if I was dragging my little brother and my little sister along, which many times they were like, Yeah, take your brother with you. And he was a baby. But, you know, we had to do these things. So yeah, I just wondered too, like, as a boy growing up in New York, you know, how that shaped you and how it led to your mother pulling up while you're doing something fun, it seems. You would think that if that's something you were into and that was the focus of you, you know, kind of staying off the streets, is by doing something constructive, like playing stick ball, you know. Don't pull me out, mom.

Selling Drugs And Getting Pulled Out

SPEAKER_01 7:11

But she did.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yeah, that was one of my I was actually like selling drugs. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

So she found out.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

She found out, and I was in the I was in the corner. Like I said, Eddie Eddie, my best friend, Italian, Italian dude in Brooklyn, you know, during that time. We were untouchable. Like we were at the corner of uh Pine and Fulton, and no one's no one's gonna come up to us, no one's gonna say anything to us, and we just kind of like protected in that corner. And you know, we were young and the whole masculine and acid. So I was kind of like young and dumb, you know, just doing that stuff, smoking.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

So you was doing drugs too?

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Yeah, I was doing drugs. I was smoking blood. More than weed. I was smoking weed and I was experimenting with mesculine. I didn't know what that was. I didn't know what that was back then. I was young, I was almost like 14, you know what I'm talking about, you know. But I felt very protected where I was, so you go with it. I guess one day my mom would sneak around with my aunt Rosie, who you remind me of. Really? So, Rosie, this there's your twin right here. And she's she saw me out in the street selling drugs, and she went to my dad's house. She says, Hey, Junior, Arcy is out in the corner. He's all high, he's all messed up. Like, what's going on? Like, what are you doing? Like, I didn't bring him over here for this to happen. And my dad said, Is he with Eddie? She goes, Yeah, he's with Eddie. Like, he's fine. He's fine. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

He's safe.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah, he's good.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Is what your dad was trying to say.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Don't worry about Arcy. He's okay. He's with Eddie. They're there. Don't worry about him. I guess the next couple days, my mom was like, nope. And, you know, even so, even though I was enjoying that life, I knew it was a dead end. And my mom drove up and said, You want to save your life? Get in the car, and how she looked at me, and how serious she was. I was like, Yeah, I'm out of here, guys. I'm out. But the problem was I took New York again upstate. You know, and if you want, you know what I'm saying? So the two years I was up in Latham, I mean, it was an all-white neighborhood. Lizette. I was the only Puerto Rican in the whole school and two or three black people in the whole school.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

I feel you on that. That's how I felt when I moved down. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

When you went, when you went, you went to uh hold on, hold on. I remember you said you went to, yeah, yeah, you uh you left. I I I hear it, I heard it.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

You was like my first episode.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Yup, yeah. And you went there, it was like you felt ah, you had all the chains on, the bracelets on and the birthday cake. And it was, it was like my birthday too.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

It was my birthday when I was at Lake Mary High School at the time, which is so different. It was so different. Like everybody in Orlando area that had moved down was moving down to East Orlando, to Kissimmee, to Daltona, you know, to all the to Dr. Phillips area, you know, but in Lake Mary, we weren't there yet.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

So I felt like you. I felt like you.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

Crazy. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 9:44

But it's crazy because you were still in the state of New York. But how far Latham was from Brooklyn? That was far.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Like three hours. Yeah. Three hours away. My mom, you know, bless her heart. We were driving down from, you know, from Latham to New York. It was a snowstorm, and she's like, I think I got four flats. I'm like, what, mom? I got four flats. We pulled outside of the road, no flats, mind you. You know, so my mom is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

She's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

So what actually brought you to Florida?

Upstate Culture Shock And Survival

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Okay. So the whole Florida thing was this. When I left the military after 30 years, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 10:17

When did you go to the military?

SPEAKER_00 10:18

I went military in 1990.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

And that was a couple years after Latham? Is that what that actually?

SPEAKER_00 10:23

I actually enlisted in the military from Latham. Okay. Yep. And then 1990. So when I went military for 30 years, I just knew I did not want to go back to the city. I just don't like snow. Because I was young, I was shoveling snow my whole childhood.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

They made you do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

So my wife, she loves Boston and she likes Rhode Island. And that's where we were kind of set at. She's like, we're gonna go to Boston, we're gonna go to Rhode Island. I'm like, man, at least it ain't New York, but I still don't want to do the no East Coast like that. But she loves Disney. Like, my wife is a Disney fanatic. Okay. Like she loves Disney. My whole house is just all like you in Disney World, right? And I said, baby, here's a deal. How about I buy a house in Florida, in Orlando? Oh, she looks happy. Close to Disney. No, would would that make you like not want to live in Boston, Rhode Island? She goes, if you get me a house in Orlando, it's a deal.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Man, it was done.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

That's that's what did it? It was done. How close are you to the park?

SPEAKER_00 11:21

25 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

You got annual passes in a week, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 11:24

You know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Oh my gosh. Well, that's funny you say that because you know, as much as she loves Disney, she, I'm sure she's a Disney adult. Does she do all the crazy things like wear the outfits to the park and everything? Or she keeps saying like okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

So one day, this is a true story. This happened recently. Uh huh. She dressed up like Pluto. Oh, yeah. Like the like the dress, the ears, the earrings, like Pluto.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

Not a princess, Pluto. Pluto.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Everything. Wow. What we didn't know it was Pluto's birthday that day.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Oh, wow. That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Yeah, so we went online, you know, take pictures of the characters, and one of the characters was Pluto. But before we got in there, she goes, Oh wow, you're here for Pluto's birthday. So we're like, Oh. Stop playing off of you, dude. Oh my gosh. And we got in there and the whole place erupted. Because it's like, you know, so now our new thing is gonna be like, now that we know what the day of the birthday is, like bring a cake, you know, because she loves Pluto.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Yeah. That's so cute. So just like Disney adults love Florida, that's how I love New York. That's how I miss New York. You know, it's like if I could, if I could have an annual pass and step through the gates and I'm in New York without having to

Military Life And Moving To Florida

SPEAKER_01 12:31

fly over there and do all the trouble of traveling, I'd be there too all day, all the time.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

You know what? You know what, Lizette? I'm gonna tell you the truth. I totally believe you. I totally know why I believe you? Because my aunt Rosie, she's still in New York City. She loves New York. We've been trying to get my aunt out of New York her whole life. She's like 60 now. She's 60 years old. Yeah. And she will not leave. So we went, I took my wife and my family down to meet my Titi, Graham. We know Graham's at right there. All right. So within Williamsburg, right by Will Hall Hospital. Okay. And she knows everybody. Like we're walking through the city where normally you don't know nobody. Yeah. And she just knows everybody. So she loves New York.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Yeah, I got some people up there that would never leave. I got some cousins. I have cousins that do want to come, but they haven't made it yet. But yeah, I just, you know, like you know my story. So I I couldn't choose to come down here. And then I kind of built my life quickly here, which is nice, you know, no complaints. But I do love going back. When you go back, do you go back? I mean, I don't even know. Because you've only been here, actually, you've only been in Florida three years.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Right, right. So we we did go back to meet my aunt to introduce my kids to my aunt a few years ago. You know, that was definitely an experience. But now, no. Well, we do now is go there as tourists. Like I take the kids to like Times Square. Like we do that, you know, Rockefeller Center. You know, now I now I ask him, I'm going down to Brooklyn, and my wife's like, nah, I'm really gonna do all that.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

You could you could touch Brooklyn. You could go to like Time Out Market and go to the little park that's there where you could see the Brooklyn Bridge and just take them there to hang out. The the touristy Brooklyn and go to Washington Street to get that famous picture. You know, you could take the kids to do that. You know, the picture with the Empire State Building with the image to the bridge. But you're like, eh, I'm not that touristy yet.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

A lot of TV shows on TV, like they show awesome pictures of Brooklyn. Like the Brooklyn Bridge. It looks so like But that's not Brooklyn.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

But that's not really Brooklyn, yeah. I know what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

That's Studio 54, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Oh my gosh. So, what do you like about Florida? Or do you have any complaints so far now that you've been here three years? How has that been? Has it been a cultural shock for you? I mean, I know you got to travel the world being in the military.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

So it's easy for you.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

It was it? It was it was easy. It was easier for me because I I've I've been moving around a lot my whole life. So leaving New York was not going back to New York was it's it didn't matter where I was gonna go. I was gonna be okay. I had the wife and the kid, so as long as they were happy. But I I love Orlando. I love Orlando like you love New York, right now.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Yeah, well tell us why.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Okay, so it's got the it's got the attitude. You can find the attitude in Orlando. It's there, you can find it. It's not Miami because I went down to Miami uh a few weeks ago,

Fighting Bullying And Finding Confidence

SPEAKER_00 15:10

and it's just so crowded. You can't even get through Miami. It's like painful. So Orlando has an open space, it's got a lot of Puerto Ricans, it's got a lot of Spanish people, got a lot of love for you. I go to Orlando games a lot, the Magic game. My son's a big Magic fan. I go there, we get good seats. The love is there, no, the energy is there, and I gotta play with the snow.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Y'all you don't. Do you like the beaches?

SPEAKER_00 15:35

We do like the beach. Our friend has a one of those Airbnbs and they tow on the beach. And we go down there, it's real nice over there.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

I'm gonna need that number.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

I got you.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

So you're loving it here. Do you have a favorite memory of New York?

SPEAKER_00 15:50

One of the best um memories I have of New York City was remember, I said when I was real young, I was always avoiding the violence. And as I got a little older, like 14, 15, I was hanging out with that, those two Eddie guys, Eddie vs. Eddie Rod, and you know, and they were like kind of tough kids. And I was hanging out with them. But I was getting bullied in school, in middle school. And they found out, because we didn't all go to the same school, which is kind of crazy. We all we're all in different schools, we all live in the same neighborhood, and they found out this kid was bullying me in school. And he was like, Yo, RC, you can't hang out with us no more if you don't fight this kid.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

So you can't be soft around us, okay? You you can't get beat up and be my friend. Exactly. Like, no, we got standards. So he can't stand up.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

So my grandma, may I rest in peace, right? Grandma, she uh wanted me home at nine o'clock every day. 9 p.m. I was the only kid. So this is a true story. I mean, this is so funny. At nine o'clock, my grandma, and I was literally 188 Pine Street, so that house is like more than three-quarters down the uh street, and I'm up on Fulton Street, and my grandma sticking out the window and she yell my name. R.C. Like loud, R. C. As soon as street lights came on, and my friend would know that. He goes, from now on, when your grandma calls you, you have to fight me home. I'm like, Eddie, I'm not gonna fight you, Eddie. Oh my gosh. I'm like, Eddie, I'm not gonna fight you. So as my grandma said my name, slap, right across, right across my face. Like, slap me.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

You just had to take it or you float him out?

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Like, yeah, I'm not gonna fight you. He's like, and like, so I had to slap box him all the way home. Like every day of slap boxing this kid. So the funny part of this story was I felt like I was ready to fight this other kid now, right? So I'm like, all right. I said I told this true story, Lizette. I told the guy, my friend, I said, listen, you go to school the next day, tell that kid that we'll meet him at the school, and we're gonna fight. Right? So I'm with my girlfriend's, I cut school that day. And I was my girlfriend, like JJ, you know, an Italian girl. And I cut school. I'm walking to the school. I'm walking this, I'm walking to the school by myself, walking down the block. I make a left Lazette where the where the where the school is at. I make a left, and like the whole school Lazette is walking down the street and him and him in the front. Like, and he walked, I'm like, what? And he was.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

How old wait?

SPEAKER_00 18:10

I was 14. Oh my god. I was 14. Had to be. I wasn't in high school yet. So he said, I heard you want to fight me. I'm like, yup. So mind you, I've been practicing slap boxing for the past like month. So when we talk, when we square up, Lizzette, you know, when we square up, I'm like, I could hit this kid. And I didn't want to hurt him. Like, because I'm I'm not I'm not violent in nature. I didn't want to hurt him. So I just started slapping him, like bat, bat, bat. He goes, Why are you slapping me? I said, because I don't want to hurt you. Like, you can't fight actually. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You're actually not, you shouldn't be a bully. Yeah. So then this older guy like tackled us against his car. And when I was like against the car, that kid punched me in the face. My nose. I was bleeding. I went back to my girlfriend's house. She's like, You lost? I was like, no, I I won.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Believe it or not. I won.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

I won. And the next day in school, he came up to me, he goes, We have no beef no more. Like, yeah, I knew you were gonna say that. So that shaped me. Like that, that that event shaped me to be confident that, you know what? Maybe I could protect myself. No, but like, so like that that definitely shaped me confident-wise. So in Brooklyn down there, uh, I had moved to, my mom met this lady, and my mom's always attempting to get me out of the hood is what it was, what was going on. And I moved up to Park Slope. You know what Park Slope is at? Brooklyn. Yeah, you know that movie that Fresh Prince movie? Yes. Like Bel Air? Yes. My mom met this therapist, right? Her name was Carolyn. So we moved up to Park Slope. I was up in like in this, like, you know, like these houses, condos. Yeah. Condos, right? And my school, I think it was called IS 80, IS 188. It was on 18th Street. But I was on Lincoln Avenue. And if anyone's familiar with that, I walked from Lincoln Avenue to 18th Street. To go to school? To go to school. I was like Abraham Lincoln. It was and it wasn't like First Street. First Street started like 10 blocks down, then 1st Street. And I walked all the way there, you know? And I was so bad as that. Like IS88 or IS 2088, there's a main hub school and there's an annex. So I was going to the main school at first. Because I was kind of a smart kick. My mom was smart. So I was smart. But I was also bad because I thought being, I don't know. So I got kicked out of the main school and went to the annex. Like the real thugs.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Yeah. Yeah. So what was that like for you? I mean. It was so bad. Did it put you in your place or did you try to match up their vibes?

SPEAKER_00 20:35

No, it was it was so bad. And to be honest with you, like, not to sound like like what my my problem, my curse was like I was a cute kid. That was my curse growing up. Like, no lie, like for real. Because when I go to these schools, like the girls were very aggressive and like, oh, you cute, you cute. And it's like, well, you got a boyfriend. And like, your boyfriend's a real, like, dude. And when the guys heard about that, a lot of guys in school didn't like me because their girlfriends liked me. Yeah. And and that that courage stuck with me pretty much my whole time in Brooklyn. It really did. You know? And that's why when I had those tough friends, I kind of clinged on them because that was my protection.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

And you're charming. You brought me flowers today. Oh, you deserve them. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

But yeah,

Why He Became A Life Coach

SPEAKER_00 21:18

when Lisette Perez gives you that call, you bring her her flowers.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Oh my gosh, I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

And you had to go through all that to be where you are today. Now you're a life coach. Right? That's what you are. You're a life coach.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Okay, so Eternal Coach, you could follow him on TikTok and all the platforms at Eternal Coach. Was it one specific thing, like the Navy, that led you to this, or was it just everything?

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Everything. It's like it, I felt like I experienced so much. And I feel like no story will surprise me. I mean, me and you could talk here for days and so much, and there's so much drama and you know, so much separation and personality. Personal, personal drama. And I just feel like I heard it all, felt it all. You know, I just felt like it's all there. And I feel like if so if I was in someone's care, I wouldn't take advantage of that. I feel like everybody needs one twitch. Like one, like one thing. Like this one thing. And it changes your life. And I was that kid growing up where I just couldn't find it. I just couldn't find it. My mom was trying so hard, and the Navy made me into a man. So Navy definitely made me into a man. And when I left the Navy, I just said, you know what? I have to help people. I just have to.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

What did you do in the Navy?

SPEAKER_00 22:40

I was an engine.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Engine men.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Engine.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

What does that mean? Engineer. So in general, so we worked with all the engines. So that was my guess, but I just wanted to be clear.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Yeah, sure. So on the amphibious ships, they got the big engine the down big copustic diesel engines. I worked on those. Also, they allow spec war. So outboard engines. I work with Navy SEALs with the ELD guys. You know, so as an engine, I did diesel outboard it all.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

You told me that you were in the Navy up until the three years that you've been here in Florida now. So from a teen till now, pretty much, you've been in the Navy?

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Wait, how many years does that break?

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Over 30 years.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

30 years, wow.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Over 30 years. From 1990 to like 93. I got out for a year, went back to New York, Lizette. That's what happened. I went from 90 to 93. And my dumb butt, my first three years, I'm in there saying, you know, with the crowd again, no, no, forget the Navy, forget the Navy. FTN, FTN. Yeah, yeah. We only need this. You can't tell me nothing. You can't tell me nothing. Brooklyn stand up, right? So I got my dumb butt, got out the Navy in '93, went back to New York. My goodness. I also work at Tilly Ladders. I'm working, I was making fiberglass ladders, aluminum ladders, wooden ladders. I walk in there, I get to get my resume. He's like, You're hired, go to work right now. Like, okay, you're good. Go to work. And I'm down there with a bunch of retired old dudes. I'm sorry, not even retired. Like ex-Air Force, ex-Army. Okay. Did six years, eight years. And because of my resume, the boss guy put me in charge of the floor, all these old guys. And guys are like, what are you doing here? And he, for real, there's one guy named Chris, you know, white guy. I went to a station, he's making a ladder. He's like, What are you doing here? I'm like, I have to be. I'm like the floor boss. He goes, No, no. Like, why are you working in a factory with us? And you want to be just like us? And I said, Well, if you could do it all over again, would you have stayed in the military? He goes, absolutely. Like, you're an idiot. You're an idiot for being here. And it like, he was like so dead serious, like looked into my eyes. I'm like, you're a dummy. Like, you're dumb. I was like, what? I turned around and the next day, it could have been that day. I just know it was spontaneous. I was I was fixing a ladder. What's that? It hit me in my head. I left that lunch. I said, hey, I gotta leave. And he goes, right, you can leave, but punch out and punch back in. I went to the recruiter's office and I said, Hey, if I want to come back into the Navy, like, can I? Looked at my record. He's like, why would you get out anyway? You're doing really good. He's like, I'm gonna tell you yes, but you gotta do it right now.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

What made you leave?

SPEAKER_00 25:07

New York again? That's a good thing. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

The Navy.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Well, yeah, because I got caught up with I'm too cool to be told what to do. Yeah, I'm too cool. You can't tell me what to do.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

You know?

SPEAKER_01 25:19

The ego part of us New York is.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

Yeah. In my head, I'm thinking, okay, be quiet. Like I want to show out, you know, I was wanting to show out. So I went back into the military, you know, 95, 96. And that time, head down. Because my first three years, I was working on helicopters and HS2. I was I was launching and recovering SH-60 Foxtrots off the USS Nimitz carrier in the Persian Gulf. Yeah. And it was all going down. Like we we launched Alert 5s because, you know, uh, the LaSalle and one of the one of my white um um ships, it is painted white, but Iran Iran attacked it. I can't even know what I'm saying. It's a long time ago. But it we were on scene. So my first three years was very intense. I was there in the hub of the war, and my mom was so mad because my mom was the assistant dean of RPI in New York. Like she was the dean over there. Yeah. So I had a free ride in college. But out and my mom was like, Bendel, like what are you doing? Like, why are you going to the military? I want to be my own man, you know, I want to do my own thing. And I left during the war. When I came back, I knew that I had to go back. I got back. I came back out of Navy and I was being dumb again. Drinking during lunch, you know, with the guys, you know, drinking the 40 ounces real quick and going back to work and smoking again. And I'm like, my goodness, what am I gonna do? Went back in. And the second time it was head down, didn't look back. I I knew I wasn't going back to New York no more. It had to focus. It had to work. Yeah, it had to work. So I so I actually used all my stuff from Brooklyn, and I'm gonna instead of fighting it, I'm just gonna apply it.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

And you're applying it now as a coach as well.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

So explain what you're doing as a life coach.

What Coaching Really Looks Like

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Is that how you label it? A life coach? Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

A performance coach, a life coach.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

And is it something you're doing like specifically, like officially on the side? That's your main gig now.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

It's my main gig.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

My main gig.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Because now you're retired. Now you're retired from the Navy.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

I'm retired.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Okay, so you can do what you want to do.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Oh, do what I can do what I want, and I could I could be selective with clients. Yeah. No, I don't, I'm not, I don't have to like beg you, beg someone to, you know, to be a client of mine. The big thing about being a life coach, a performance coach, is listening attentively and and really not judging. Like you really can't, and and judging is just so normal. Maybe we say you can't judge. We all judge. Like everyone's judging everybody. And it's not because we're mean people, is that we judge whether, oh, if someone's a danger to us. We judge whether can we trust this person? So we judge them by their their mannerisms, what they're doing. So as a life coach, you definitely have to put that stuff aside because you know that's so it's a sacred spot. It's a sacred spot. And I like it. The people who I talk to, they they appreciate the approach. And that's the biggest thing. You know, a lot of people on LinkedIn, they'll come up and be like, you know, hey, I can help you do that. Like, what do you do as a life coach? And it's like, it's not that, it's not what I do as a life coach. It's like what I'm allowing to happen, right? So I'm I'm instead of doing it, I'm allowing it, allowing the moment to happen. And that only comes when you let that space, you know, be free of it, free of all of it, free of all the all the garbage stuff.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

What kind of clients do you look for? And what kind of clients should be looking for you?

SPEAKER_00 28:35

I look for clients who are motivated to be a better person. And tell you the truth, that's the only reason why I charge. It really is. Only the only reason why I I I even charge for it is so that person would take it serious. Yeah, because I do it for free.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

Accountability is hard for people.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Yeah. Yep. I do it for free. And I have done it for free for 30 years. Yeah.

unknown 28:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

But I would, I would do it for free. And I still do do it for free sometimes. But the people who do it for free, they kind of don't take it as serious as the ones that have have some um skin in the game.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

What kind of clients have come to you? Like, I know you probably can't disclose a lot, just out of respect. Can you name some

Client Story And Closing Reflections

SPEAKER_01 29:14

things they go through so those who listening can go, oh, you know what? I go through that. Maybe a life coach is the approach I need to take.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Right. Yeah. So I had this one with one client that I always I'll never forget. I think it was Jessica. I won't say her last name. I think it was Jessica. And if you didn't know her, you would think she had Down syndrome. You would think she did, you know? And she kind of does, but not the full. No, so she don't know. She's she's right there, you know. She could talk and everything. And she was a manager at Dunkin' Donuts. So that put them up for perspective. But if you didn't know that, you would think she was, you know, had something going on. And she reached out to me. So we talked for a long time. It was like a trusting, like, can I trust this guy? I was I had a about maybe over six months, you know. I usually try to keep clients like three months, six months, and that's it. But it was over six months. She had a lot of things going on. And after seven months, she met a guy. She had a baby.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 30:05

She had a baby, Lizette. Wow. Like when I talked to her, you know, she the confidence, the how people would treat her. Like she was, she knew she was smart, but she knew she had a disability. There we go. That's how I want to say it. She knew she was smart, but she was being judged for a disability, and she couldn't talk to people she wanted to talk to. Like she was attracted to guys that wouldn't be attracted to her. And you know, that's a that's that's really tough to even help. How do you help someone with that? You know, and being a life coach is just something you just have to go with it and just don't do anything. You just can't do anything. As soon as you tell somebody this is what I would do, you you take the energy away from them. You take their energy away. So after six months, she she got married and had a baby, and I was like, yo, this, this in the right, we're done. Yeah, done, son. We're done, son. Enjoy your life. Yeah. And she's like, no, no, no, let's keep doing this. Like, no, no, you don't need a life coach. You now you need to just execute. Just execute. You're good. That's my that's one of my best stories of the life coach.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

I love that. They could just reach out to you to become a client of yours. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Go eternal coach. Reach out on www.eternalcoach.com. So once you go to my my Facebook or whatever, you'll see how to reach out to me. Only if you're serious, though, you know? Everybody got family. You know, I got wife and kids. Now I'm I'm uh my daughter's in dance, my son plays basketball, you know. So I got teenagers right now. It's amazing how they get off the hook with everything these days, these kids.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

Oh, and they're loving Florida too.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

Oh, they love Florida. Yeah. Where were they born? Like my son, true story, I was deployed overseas, and my wife was in the in the delivery room with the phone, and the captain calls me down in the engine room. I have to run up to the radar room, and I'm talking to my wife while she's in the delivery room. We're in the Persian Gulf, and I hear her screaming, I hear her screaming. I'm like, You got this, baby. And then we lost contact. Oh man. And so like that, so the you know, the radio men's are like, oh, hold on, hold on. Let's get back, let's get it back. I'm sitting there like, this is what's gonna happen. And they got her back on the phone. I don't know how they did that. Got her back on the phone. I heard my son be delivered, I heard him cry. I hung up the phone. So that was one. And then my daughter, yeah, she got she was born in uh Temecula.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Where is that?

SPEAKER_00 32:17

In California.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

And I was in San Diego, and the day um my daughter was born, I was having an inspection. I was the um 3M coordinator for a ship. Like I ran all the all the main all the paperwork for all the maintenance throughout the ship. Right? So I was just the admin guy that tracked all the maintenance and made sure the whole ship was doing their maintenance. Yeah. Pretty much. And that morning we had a big inspection, like a big inspection. And my wife went to delivery that morning. I'm walking. So the inspectors, Lizette, are walking down the pier and I'm running the opposite way. They're like, where you going? I'm like, my wife's having the baby. No. I drove an hour, got to the hospital, walked in the room, walked in the waiting room. No, I walked into delivery room and bam. She had the baby. I can't, I can't make this up. I walked in, you meet my wife, she'll tell you, because she's gonna listen to this and she's gonna tell you, oh, he's lying, he's exaggerating. These are all true stories. Walked in, had the baby. So I called my my master chief. I'm like, because I was I was an E7, I was a chief, right? I called my master, I was like, hey, you know, she just have the baby, you know, so we're good. And I heard the captain in the back say, Is the mom okay? And he asked me, Yeah, mom's fine, yeah, mom's fine.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

Get him back here. Yes, bring him back.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

I had driven hour back.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

But at least you got to see the baby.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

But I I wanted to go back because that was a huge inspection, and I did so much work for it, and we did so good. So it was like he was doing it for me. Like he knew I I I was kind of caught that I would go back. So he knew it's like I'd be the bad guy for RC. Yeah. Tell him to come back. He wants to be here.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

I love it. Is there any other story or anything you want to share about New York or Florida before we close the show?

SPEAKER_00 33:56

You ever had Coquito?

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Oh, hell yeah. Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:59

My grandpa sold coquito. Yeah. Down there, Murdo. Oh, the train tracks right there. Yeah. Right there. Um Murdo and Lewis. He saw Coquito.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

The alcohol drink or the little frozen.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Nah, he had the white cart with the icy's. Going with the icy's. Yeah. And he goes, he's scrape it, right? Yeah. Yeah. And like my grandpa did that. Really? And I was like seven, eight years old. And to this day, I don't know where he kept that truck at. We lived in the project. So. Oh my gosh. My grandpa was that guy walking up and down the street selling coquito.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

I missed those so much. I haven't had one in like 25 years. Well, I had a version here. You know, the Puerto Rican culture's here. So there has been a couple times. I did find some restaurant or bakery in Orlando that had them, but they were far from me. And I don't know. I guess at some point I forgot where they were at. And then there was another time I was at like a vendor market and somebody had it in the coconut flavor that had pretty much matched. But I haven't had it. Like an authentic one from New York in over 25 years, I think. That that is that's the taste I miss. The things I was ripped away from. I know you heard my first episode.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Yeah, and the whole thing about when I heard your story about the premature babies you had. Yes. Yeah, so my my daughter was born seven months.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

Really?

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Seven months. So when I heard your story, my heart dropped. Like I totally, and you got real descriptive with your story. And my heart was like, oh my goodness. Cause I know what we went through, and my daughter was a Nikki for two months. And every day after work, we drive there and I sit with her. Yeah. And the big thing they said was you had to like go skin to skin with the baby. And your story, you were saying you couldn't do that for a while.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Yeah. Couldn't do it. So they were three months. Like Mia was 15 ounces at birth. So we couldn't touch them. Their skin would have ripped if we would have just like touched their skin. And it would still see through. I said that I might have left that out the first episode. I gotta go back and listen now.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

It was in there.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

And yeah, like how their ears weren't formed. Yeah, like it was crazy. They were long like a Barbie, but skinny. And they were tiny. They fit in my shirt. Fit in my shirt, like if I put them in a pocket with the kangaroo care. The little head was right here. Yeah, it was they were tiny. They were small. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Yeah, I just want to say, Lizette, that you're a spiritual warrior. I know it. You know it. And yeah, you you you're a real good people. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you for sharing your story. I loved hearing about Brooklyn and the craziness you went through growing up. I'm glad that it shaped you to, you know, be who you are today through all the struggles.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Yeah, we could do part two. Now you have to have to invite me back.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

Definitely. Thank you so much for being here today. And thank you for the love and the flowers. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

Easy day. All love.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

Thank you once again.