Episode 22: State Testing Stories That Shouldn’t Be Real | The Edu20/20 Podcast

Welcome to the Edu20/20 After Hours Podcast… and yes, we’re ending the season with state testing. Because what better way to wrap things up than revisiting one of the most stressful and chaotic times of the school year?

In this episode, we’re sharing real stories from state testing--the kind that sound made up until you’ve actually lived through it.

We’re talking:
• The rules, the pressure, and the “did I sign in blood?” meetings
• What classrooms actually look like during testing week
• The moments where everything goes sideways (and you can’t do anything about it)
• And how teachers somehow survive it every single year

If you’ve ever made it through testing season, you already know. And if you haven’t… buckle up. Source moments pulled straight from real classroom experiences.

Chapters:
0:00 Why state testing deserves its own episode
2:22 The rules, the pressure, and the setup
4:20 What testing week actually feels like
6:38 When things go wrong (and you’re stuck)
9:32 The story we will never forget
12:01 How teachers survive testing days
14:00 The moments you can’t control
15:34 Ending the year (and season) with perspective

https://www.edutwentytwenty.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:12

And welcome back to the Edu 2020 podcast After Hours. Uh, for those of you who are just now joining us for the first time, my name is Courtney. I'm Shannon. And we are part of a larger group of people known as Edu 2020. And our specialty is simplifying education for educators. That's what we normally do. But on the After Hours podcast, we talk about things that you normally wouldn't talk about with education. We just talk about anything and everything. Anything. So you're in for a treat today. This is our last episode of season one, Shannon.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

I know, but how cool is that? No, I feel I feel great about it. You know, yeah, it's it's been a good run. We've had some hilarious interactions. We have had a great audience. Um, we have probably told uh way too much information about ourselves. No, we we keep it, we keep it real. Um so today's topic. Too much information ever really. I mean, you know, we we just are pretty open. Agreed. What is it? And we'll be even more open in the future, won't we? Yes. Um, so scared right now. So many stories to tell, but we're going to talk today about for at the time of this recording, um, we're about to enter a special time in education. Special time. Um, called state testing.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Some of y'all are instantly triggered by that.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Right, right. Somebody's like, turn it off, turn it off. No, we're gonna talk about the good, the bad, the ugly, um, but mostly the funny. Most of the funny, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

Yeah, with state testing. And also the trauma we've endured with state testing. Um, for those of you who don't follow us on social media, on any platform, we are at edu2020, the words written out, EDU, the numbers 20 and 20. There is a state testing video that has gone viral probably multiple times at this point. Yeah. And it is of Shannon being the testing coordinator, telling a group of teachers the uh rules for testing. And I play the new teacher, and one of our other team members, Jessica, plays the veteran teacher. It is one of the funniest. Like, I can't, I still I know what happens and I still laugh.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

It makes me cackle every time.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

If you have not seen that, play satire. Go on our social media. Like at one point, Shannon mentions like the adult diaper. Like you can't go to the bathroom, you have to wear adult diaper. I have to wear an adult diaper. So we're gonna talk about that ridiculous. Yeah, I mean, sometimes it feels that way. We're gonna be talking about our state testing horror stories, state testing um experiences. And of course, we're all about solutions at Edu2020. Uh, but there's some things about state testing that we cannot change and we cannot control, so we might as well laugh about it. And that's what we're doing here.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

That perspective, that is great perspective.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

So we're gonna just make some some light of it because it is very hard to be a teacher during state testing season. It's very stressful, stressful for your kids. Everybody knows it, it's a necessary evil. But uh we are just gonna share some stories today. So I'm looking forward to jumping in and talking about all things state testing. So, Shannon, I think you should lead us up or lead us off, should I say, with your infamous story about state testing this one lady that you knew.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Okay, so don't have to use names. No, I definitely will not use names. All of the details from like start to finish. Okay. So um we know that anybody who has ever gone to the, you have to have a meeting every year that preps you for state testing and give you the laws and the rules. Sign in blood. Yeah, basically we make a joke, you have to sign in blood. Like you have to go to your finger and yeah, yeah, and sign that you went to this meeting because it tells you all the rules. Yeah, documentation, documentation. And so every year, the rules, and I've even seen some recent TikToks for some other states who have come out with even crazier rules. And I'm just like, really? Just when you think it can escalate, it escalates. Um, but anyway, so we had just uh finished with one of those meetings, the the testing coordinator meeting, and you have to all this documentation and sign it out. And some of this causes real fear for people because like people even come and inspect your classrooms because you can't have like basically you have to take everything down, you have to cover everything up, and you really have to cover yourself to you know with integrity to make sure that you are not cheating in any way.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

So let's talk about that for a minute. Um, this for those of you who aren't educators, this is a very traumatic time of year. And it's because we do have to take down our decor anything that is educationally related has to be taken off of your walls and c or covered. And so your classroom looks like a ghost town because it's been bright and colorful all year long with words and and numbers and all the things, and then it's just complete blank. Then you have to like reconfigure your room because you can't have your kids sitting in their normal configuration, usually have to be in rows, like my kids sat in groups. Um, and then mine had to sit one year in a certain order because we had to hand out the tests in a certain order, and then you can't even test your kids in most school districts. Were you able to test your kids? I couldn't test my own kids.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Yeah, I mean, we did we did back then, um, of course, right? Um, and this was now I I did I was still teaching on the end, like it was all digital by the end, but even like with Chromebook security and all of the all the things, and and then there's so many things leading up to it, like the kids had to have testing codes and you had to know all these protocols, and the whole building was just so tense, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:25

There's even like small group testing. So some kids get pulled out, they have to go to a different room. So then you have to practice the schedule of how are you going to rotate the kids? Because if you don't practice before, it's gonna become chaotic for the actual testing. So there's a lot leading up to this, and it's very stressful. And I think that that's what we really need the people to know in the audience that if you aren't a teacher, it is very a very intense week of your life, and it feels like it's 84 years.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

And then if something unusual happens during the test, like if a kid barfs, you have to fill out this testing irregularity report.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

And you get fined. So you get well, not for the kid barfing. Okay, not for the kid bar barfing, but if you have an irregularity that's not necessarily barfing, but let's say, like I remember when this isn't really date myself, but when my kids would skip a bubble when they were bubbling and they had to erase, it was called like excessive erasures. That was a test of regularity. Oh, I've never heard of that one. Oh my gosh. So, like there are certain irregularities that you can be fine for. Obviously, people come in and watch you give the test to make sure you're not hinting at anything. It's just a lot.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Yeah, it's a lot. So anyway. Well, now I so I was assigned. Um, so I was proctoring the assessment, right, for my kids, but I was assigned, I was assigned a co-proctor because they wanted to make yeah, double security. And so we had parent volunteers, like we had to send notes home to ask parents to come in and volunteer.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

They let you do that, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Well, so one of the uh my test proctors was somebody who was in my class in high school and I was teaching her kids, and she was very chatty, and I didn't know how to get her to stop talking during the test because I was trying to be real polite and you know, she gave time out of her day. Well, so then we had a hallway test proctor who was like looking in the windows and monitoring, and so I got in trouble afterwards and said, You're talking during too much during the test. That cannot happen again. And I was like, I didn't know how to tell her not to be so chatty without being, and I was like, We've got to be quiet. And so she just would whisper instead of stop talking. And so I was like, maybe y'all can reassign. I she was fat, she's a great human, but yeah, just that kind of stress, like unnecessary.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

And it just you never know when it's gonna end. So, you know, one group will be done or a couple kids will be done.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

It's just what would happen if you had to go to the bathroom and during the middle of this like two-hour test.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

So if you had to go to the bathroom, because I drink a lot of water, for those of you who don't know me, I'm kind of infamous for it. And I always had to go to the bathroom. So if you had to go to the bathroom, you had to like literally flag someone down the hallway. It had to be someone who had signed in blood for the test, you know, agreement that they had been through the training, they had to watch your kids and be in there while you were gone. But if you had to go to the bathroom every morning, um, if you had to go to the bathroom and you had already checked out your test, because you don't just get your test when you get there, you have to go to a room. It's behind the locked doors. You have to sign that you picked up the test, you have to carry them with you. But if at some point between when you checked out the test and before your kids got in your classroom, you had to go to the bathroom, you had to literally take the tests with you to the bathroom. And so I was just walking around with my ball and chain, putting it on the floor. I'm sure that was not very sanitary, but I put the box on the floor and I just had to go pee with the box in the bathroom with me because you could not leave it unattended.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Well, that just teased me up for my most traumatizing story. It didn't happen to me, but happened to a colleague. Okay, let's hear it. So I'm scared now. So lose the bathroom. When because in in our pre-meeting, basically you were told you could lose your license if you leave the test unattended, if you are caught looking at the test, breaking this. Of course, this was in the printed test days. Yeah. Um, breaking the seal, anything like that. Um total. So you had to count the number of tests and tests answer documents in front of person, sign, write the number, sign, whatever. Well, this poor lady and she was very close to retirement. She was actually over retirement. She she was staying in it for the insurance, and she was so much energy, just a fabulous human. Um well, all of a sudden she gets in the middle of the hallway on her way back to the test, and it hits her like big business bathroom. Big business bathroom trip. And she stops and she looks around, and there's nobody there to like uh take her tests who hadn't signed. And she panics and she was like, I don't know what to do. So she runs into the staff bathroom, but this was this building was old, old, old. And you know the old stalls, there's no room to barely turn around. Well, she she didn't, she said, I can't leave the test out of my sight. So she takes it in the stall with her and she turns around and she couldn't get the stall door closed, and she couldn't get things situated in enough time, so she pooped her pants.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

The question is, did she poop on the test or just her pants? She just pooped her pants. Big business happens in the bathroom. That's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

And I'm only laughing about it now because she knows that I've told this story before and she laughs about it too. Like we have laughed together.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

So, so she was so upset. She was, but she was worse upset that's a good thing. You have to go check the test back in with poop in your pocket. Well, she takes the box straight to the office and puts them on the principal's desk and says, Well, I've pooped my pants, you're now in charge. She was more upset that she was gonna miss proctoring the test with her kids because somebody else had to go proctor it. But she said, I had to go home and I had to take care of things. She goes, but I came back. And I'm like, this is what teachers go.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Just another day in paradise. It was t we call it testing poop gate. Testing poop gate. I mean, that's an appropriate title, but uh, that is real. Like, I I've heard some sort of like kids have thrown up and literally teachers have had to take the test and put it in a bag and still turn in the test form to show that the kid took the test.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Wow. Like it's so wild. I understand some security, but I feel like some things in our government are less secure than these standardized.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Shannon's getting spotted. This is why this is called after hours because she's gonna get us in trouble at this point.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

It's insane.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Right. There are there are tighter security measures to state testing than like even voting at this point. But well, you know, I digress. Uh so what are some things? I do want to know, what are some things you would do to pass the time and state testing? Because like you're locked in a room for, I mean, uh, six hours, maybe three, four at the most at one time. Um, and even like going to lunch, you had to go check your tests back in for lunch and go check them back out. If you went over lunch, what did you do in your classroom when your kids were testing?

SPEAKER_02 12:16

I you weren't allowed to do anything. No. Um, like so my kids were, you know, on their devices taking the test, but I couldn't even, we couldn't even have our Apple watches, no like no, no books. I couldn't be reading. You have to be monitoring students. So I would just walk laps. I would just slowly walk laps.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

The good the good thing was like when I tested, they allowed you to wear tennis shoes because they didn't want you making noise with your clickety clacks on the ground with your heels or your dress shoes. So I was always excited because I got to wear jeans and tennis shoes for that. It's the little things, guys. I got to wear jeans and tennis shoes. I would count ceiling tiles. I think people, a lot of people do that because they just get so bored with being in their classroom. Um, when I'm gonna date myself again, when the Fitbits came out, I had a Fitbit, and so like I was trying to challenge myself to like get in more steps than normal. So that was something I did. I was an absolute nerd. Um, what else did I do? I just I I would do different like uh laps, like different configurations of laps. Yes, different rotations because you didn't want to, I didn't want to take like right turns every time.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

So I would it was just well, and I I could not be still because I next to a student and I got real nervous if they asked me a question because you can't answer it other than redirect them to directions. Do your best. And I didn't want anybody to think I was looking at their their crow book to see what was on the test because that will make you lose your life.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

You're not allowed to look at the test, even though you have to make sure the kids don't skip bubbles, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Or they answer all the questions. Well, I mean, it it's basically feels like the hunger games out there. Is the hunger game. So really it's just two hours of your life where you're just doing nothing. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

If I ever have like a a moment, like I'm gonna tell you about a story for my kiddos, and I always tell the story when I'm teaching um like knowledge building and complexity. But uh one time, that I'll tell you two stories, honestly. One time there was a word kids didn't know, and it was one word that impacted the entire understanding of whatever they were reading, from what I from what I gathered, because they were all freaked out. But like at one moment, all the kids' hands went up, and like you know, you're not supposed to answer questions, you're supposed to be like, do your best, do your best, do your best. I couldn't answer anybody, and you could tell that they were all lost, and I felt completely helpless. So they were all asking about a word. One word. One word, what is this word? I was like, do your best, do your best. And it was the same, every and I was I was like, it was panic ensued. And it was one of those times where like the day before someone from the state had come in to make sure that I wasn't doing anything bad because sometimes state people, it's not just people, state people come in.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

It's just so stressful. But that was very, very, very intimidating.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

So you knew based on the number of hands raised, and it was just some vocabulary.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

Well, it's the same word. They kept asking me, what does this word mean? I was like, I cannot answer. Like they knew I couldn't answer. Right. And I was just like, ugh. But they were wanting to do their best and they were just stressed out. And then there was one time, like I had taught them for so long to explain, explain, explain. And there was one time where it said elaborate instead, and so they were already elaborate. What does it mean to elaborate? I was like, Can't answer, you can't answer. I was like, I had one job. Right. We should have taught them what freaking elaborate means.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Yeah, exactly. Well, uh it's just using vocabulary, right? But you never know. So basically to summarize, we just do the absolute best we can, and then when we learn better, we do better. Or we poop our pants. Or we poop our pants. Um, but state testing is so stressful. It is. I I want to take us back to what you said at the beginning. We have to focus on what we can control because we could fuss about take state testing all day. Yeah, we could. And we could for days. Um, and the the trauma that it has wrought on us and some of our kids. Like uh, I have an aesthetician who says that her child gets so stressed out every year that she gets sick because there's so much pressure on it.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

But I I know that child takes his first one this year. Oh, that's right. He's in third grade. Very stressed out about it. But you know, the bottom line is uh for those of you listening, my good old educators, you you do the best you can every day. And we know that a test can only measure so many things, and we're proud that you made it this far in the school year. Yeah. Everything's gonna be okay because you know what you do every day.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

And you know what your students can do. And we know what they're capable of.

SPEAKER_03 16:27

Absolutely. Yeah, you're more than a test score. Put that on a shirt.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Oh, any other stories you want to tell? I don't think so. I think that we know that everybody out there is gonna do an amazing job this year. Your kids are doing the best they can.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

And when you're stressed out, remember that there was this one time they asked an author of one of those poems or stories that was on a state test. They said, Hey, did you mean for this to be A, B, C, or D? These were the answer choices. And the author was like, none of those. I don't even know the answer to this question. I didn't write it for that reason. Didn't know. So give yourself a little grace because that has happened before. Right. And you never know what's gonna be put in front of you, but we know that you guys are gonna do great this year. And thank you for yet again joining another episode of Insanity on the Edu 2020 after hours podcast. This is the conclusion of season one, Shannon. I know. We can't wait to see you for season two. Absolutely. If you have ideas for episodes, we hope you have a fabulous summer. Yes. Teresa yourself, go on vacation. Drink a drink with an umbrella in it. Not like an act, you know what I mean? Like one of those little cutesy umbrellas. Live your best life. Um, but we will be back next season with more insane stories and content. So you're not gonna want to miss it. If you haven't done so, like, subscribe, do all the things. And we will be posting as season two is getting ready to come out, asking you for what topics you want to hear more about or what stories you want to hear more about. Because I want to still want to hear more about your Walmart grill restaurant experiences. I want to hear more about that. So um, stay tuned, and we will see you guys in season two.