The Purpose Project Podcast

Turning Pain into Purpose: A Conversation with Jody Hudson

• Valerie Jones • Season 1 • Episode 5

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What does it look like to trust God in the middle of something truly unimaginable? Not a hard season. Not a disappointing season. The kind of season that brings you to your knees in a parking lot, pounding the dashboard, giving God an ultimatum because you simply don't know how to carry it anymore.

Today’s guest has been there. And what she found on the other side of that moment and on the other side of the deepest loss a mother can face is a faith that is anything but passive.

In this episode, I sit down with Jody Hudson, CEO and Founder of the Alex Hudson Lyme Foundation and award-winning author of My Promise to Alex. Jody shares the story of her daughter Alexandra — a decade-long battle with undiagnosed Lyme disease, a faith forged in the fire of unanswered prayers and closed doors, and the sacred moment of surrender that changed everything. This is a conversation about grief, about purpose, about what it means to choose light when everything in you wants to give up.

"Grief is not the end of my story. Love is." — Jody Hudson

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

  • How Jody's faith shifted from passive to active through the most painful season of her life.
  • What it looked like to wrestle honestly with God — and why she believes those "get down and get ugly" conversations matter.
  • The story of the bluebird and how God showed up for Alex in a way Jody almost missed.
  • The moment of surrender on a plane that reframed everything Jody thought she knew about healing.
  • Why Jody refuses to be defined as a "grief girl" and what she chooses to be defined by instead.
  • Jody's beautiful Holy Week reflection on Mary, Alex, and what it means to grieve hard because you loved hard.
  • Practical wisdom for anyone who is barely holding it together in the middle of their own devastating season.

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Jody:

Going Deeper:

The themes of this conversation — grief, surrender, purpose from pain, and the God who never leaves — are woven throughout Scripture. If today's episode stirred something in you, here are a few passages worth sitting with:

  • Psalm 34:18 — "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
  • Romans 8:28 — "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him."
  • Matthew 25:21 — "Well done, good and faithful servant."
  • Lamentations 3:22–23 — "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning."

About Jody Hudson:

Jody Hudson is an award-winning, highly sought-after speaker on grief, transformation, and creating purpose from pain. She brings over twenty years of nonprofit leadership experience to her work, but it is her role as CEO and Founder of the Alex Hudson Lyme Foundation that she says fuels her purpose. In 2022, she published her memoir My Promise to Alex, which won Best Memoir from the Christian Indie Book Awards in 2023.

About Your Host:

Valerie Gibson Jones is a board-certified Christian Life Coach, Mental Health Coach, and Grief Educator, and the founder of The Purpose Project. Each episode of this podcast exists to help you navigate the messy middle — the gap between where you are and where God is calling you — with faith, courage, and honest conversation.

Connect with Valerie at thepurposeproject.us or on Instagram @purposeprojectcoach.

If today's episode meant something to you, would you share it with one woman who needs to hear it? And if you haven't yet, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts helps this podcast find the women it was made for. Thank you for being here.



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Valerie Jones

Hey friend, welcome to the Purpose Project Podcast, where we talk about what it really looks like to live, love, and lead with purpose and authenticity in the messy middle. That space between where you are and where you want to be. I'm Valerie Jones, a Christian life and leadership coach, and around here, we don't do hustle culture, perfectionism, people pleasing, or self-help band-aids. Instead, we're all about biblical truth, brain-based tools, and emotional health, so you can walk out your calling with courage, without burning out or sacrificing what matters most. Each episode we'll dive into real life stories, engaging conversations, and relatable teaching moments to help you get out of your head and into the life God's calling you to live. Whether you're navigating change, feeling overwhelmed, craving clarity, or just trying to feel like yourself again, take a breath and lean in. You're in the right place. Let's dive in. Well, hey, friend, if you've been with us for the last few episodes, you know we've heard some tender moments and real talk about showing up with God when life doesn't make sense. And today we're gonna hear the story of a woman who understands what that looks like. It's a story about a decade of unanswered questions, about giving God an ultimatum in a parking lot, and then watching him show up anyway, in the most unexpected and unmistakable ways. It's a story about purpose that comes from the beginning of the season of pain, but more than that, it's a story of love, the love of a mother and a daughter, and the love of God. My guest today is Jody Hudson. Jody brings over twenty years of nonprofit leadership experience to the table, but it's her role as the CEO and founder of the Alex Hudson Line Foundation that fuels her purpose. And after today's conversation, you will completely understand that. She is an award-winning, highly sought-after speaker addressing grief, transformation, and creating purpose from pain. In 2023, her book, I Promise to Alex won Best Memoir from the Christian Handy Book Awards. I've linked it for you in the show notes, and I highly recommend it. It's a beautiful, honest, and deeply moving account of her daughter Alexandra's story. And I'm so excited to welcome Jody to the podcast and for you to hear this conversation today. Well, Jody, welcome to the podcast. I want to just jump right in because your story is so uh impactful and it's a big story. So I want to make sure that we have plenty of time. Take us back to the very beginning.

Jody Hudson

I was born to a single mother who was not equipped to take care of me. So I was placed in foster care immediately, and then I was adopted when I was about six months old. Now most people think, oh gosh, well, that's good, right? And yes, that is good, but unfortunately, both of my adoptive parents struggled with alcoholism. So I tell people I really spent most of my childhood trying to really forget about my childhood. I kind of lived in my own bubble in my own world. Fast forward to 2011, and it was after almost 20 years of marriage and having two children, Garrett and Alexandra, that I found myself divorced, raising two children on my own, not financially equipped just because of financial decisions that had been made and they were not good for the family. I was processing all this at the same time that my daughter, Alex, had developed what was called a medical mystery since she was in fifth grade. So, you know, I had a lot on my shoulders during that time. I was, you know, trying to raise my children, trying to find out what was going on with my daughter, trying to have a full-time job and be a full-time mom. And it was really, you know, quite overwhelming. But I think also at the same time, my faith was definitely being formed, and it was really um, you know, having me lean into that relationship with God to say, okay, Jody, this is also overwhelming, but you know what? I'm just gonna put my faith in him and I know that he's just gonna keep guiding me. And and he did.

Valerie Jones

If you could describe your relationship with God in that before season, before everything started to unravel and things started to get difficult, what what word would you use to characterize your faith in your relationship with God in that in that time?

Jody Hudson

I think before all this happened with Alex, my faith was pretty passive, meaning that um I was born and raised Catholic. We went to Mass every Sunday. I checked off the boxes, I had my first communion, I had my confirmation, I did all the things that we do in the in the Catholic Church. And then when we had children, um my husband, my ex-husband was Catholic as well. So we knew that was what we wanted to do with our children as well. So I, you know, made sure they followed through on all of their sacraments. So I feel like for me, I thought I had a really good understanding of what God looked like and what my faith looked like, but when I look back on it now, I definitely feel I was more in this passive role with my faith. It wasn't really like taking a plunge and really diving into my faith. And as I look back on on my life, I feel like sometimes, you know, I don't want to say God allows these things to happen in your life, but He just he does give you those opportunities to grow with Him if we are receptive to it, right? Right. So we're not closed off to Him, we want to learn more about our faith, we want to learn, you know, how to be a good mother and that role model for our children. So I think it was all this evolution of my faith, and it was, you know, just this natural progression of my faith leading up to everything that happened with Alice. So again, I thought I was doing great, I was a good Catholic, checking off the boxes, but boy, when I look back on it, now I'm like, Jody, that was really sad.

Valerie Jones

You thought you had it all figured out, and then right. And then I I can relate to that so much. I've there have been seasons of my life where I'm like, I'm doing pretty good, and then life takes a turn, and you're like, oh wow. Uh maybe maybe not. So, yes, take us there. Tell us, tell us about Alex.

Jody Hudson

Yes, so it was in fifth grade where Alex, um, who'd been playing sports, I say her whole life, her whole life leading up to fifth grade, but from you know, four or five years old, when you can get involved in sports, she was doing soccer, playing softball, doing all the things. Um, and she had an older brother, so that just naturally made her that much more competitive and wanting to keep up with her brother, right? So in fifth grade, she started developing joint pain inflammation. And when I took her to her um primary doctor, he said, Well, you know what? It it seems natural. It just seems like you know, she's really been um overworking her body. So maybe give her some ibuprofen, maybe you can, you know, tape up her ankles. And it also could be growing pains. Maybe she's growing, so I really wouldn't be you know that worried about that. Well, nothing got better. In fact, things got worse. Now, mind you, she's very competitive and she wanted to keep up with all of her sports. So here she was, you know, wrapping up, taping up, like she looked like those commercials on Charmin where they're wrapped all in toilet paper. Well, this was Alex, like wrapped up in, you know, adhesive bandages and all the tape, so she could continue on with her sports. And so she basically just sucked it up, and then she started having digestive problems, eating problems, where she um, you know, would break out in rashes and her stomach was, you know, having some issues, so it took her back to the doctors, they ran more tests, took her to specialty doctors, and this was going on for like a good six, seven months, and everything came back to us negative. So they said, you know, she might have this, she might have that, but really, Mrs. Hudson, you know, it's it's something that she probably will outgrow. Um, because right now it's just a medical mystery to us. We have no idea why she's having these problems. So imagine as a parent, when you know something is wrong with your child, Valerie, and you keep going to these doctors and they keep just saying, nope, you know what? We can't figure it out, just suck it up. And so she did that, you know, from fifth grade all the way through high school. She eventually had to give up playing sports because she just couldn't run. I mean, it was affecting everything in her life. And high school was really a hard time for her because kids identify by their groups. And so she had always identified with other, you know, athletes, with other gals playing sports or cheerleading. So those were her social groups. Well, all that disappeared when she couldn't participate in that any longer. She so she really had a hard time in high school and still trying to, you know, figure out what was going on with her. She applied to many, many colleges, and she got into her dream school, which was UCLA. She wanted to be a Bruin and she wanted to study in the nonprofit field. Well, unfortunately, she also started to lose weight because she couldn't eat as much as she normally did because of digestive problems and everything else. Took her back to the doctors, and they thought maybe it was an eating disorder. Maybe it's all in her head. And because she was losing weight and because she was getting weaker, she just didn't feel comfortable with going away to school. So we decided let's do junior college for two years, build your strength back up, we'll we'll by then surely figure out what's wrong with you, and then you can go away to college. Well, it just kept declining and declining and declining. And Alex on her own, because she was very, very smart, found this doctor. Now, mind you, it was our 40th doctor from when she first started in fifth grade until she was now post-high school in college, trying to figure out you know what's wrong with her. It was a 40th doctor that we found down in LA that got outside of the box, and he was um really good with digestive um, you know, issues. So we took her down there, and within the first five minutes, five minutes of our conversation with me showing him all of her test results and her whole history, he said, Mrs. Hudson, has anybody tested Alex for Lyme disease? And in 2017, I was very ignorant myself, and I said, What is Lyme disease? And no, I don't even know what you're talking about. He goes, Well, everything that you have told me and all of her symptoms seem to match up with that. Let's test her and see what it comes back with. So we tested her. It took two weeks for the results to come back, and sure enough, she tested positive for Lyme disease. Now, in that moment, and I remember I was working at Catholic Charities, a nonprofit in um Fresno, and I was in a board meeting, and Alex had gotten this the call from the doctors, and she, you know, drove down and they got me out of the board meeting and said, Your daughter needs to speak to you. So I met her in my office, and and she looked at me and she's like, Mom, she goes, I got you know the test results. And once she told me what they were, we had this moment where 10 years of people saying it was in her head or saying it was a medical mystery, like we finally had affirmation that yes, it has not been in her head, yes, there is definitely something wrong with my daughter, and yes, now we have a name to put with it. It's Lyme disease. So we felt vindicated, but then we were like, what is it and what do we do and how do we treat it? Right. So it was this whole you know jumble of emotions that we went through, and therein began our big, you know, search and journey for Lyme literate doctors and treatment. Which was quite an ordeal. It was quite an ordeal. So as parents, we want to fix everything, right? Like when our children are little, we fix their bruised and skin knees as they get older. We fix their broken hearts from relationships. I was like, okay, I'm gonna fix this. Like I've got a diagnosis now. Thank you, God. Like we know what it is, let's just knock this out. Right. So I go online, did a bunch of research, connected with people that knew something about Lyme disease, found this great facility, and I called them up and I said, time is of the essence. Alex has been dealing with this with 10 years. She's down to probably about 90 pounds at this point. She's 5'6. On a good day, she'd weigh 120 pounds. So, you know, she's lost a lot of weight. So we need to tackle this. So got her into this facility, which mind you is not covered by insurance. So this was everything I had to do out of pocket. And I thought, one week we're gonna knock this out, she's gonna be on a good treatment plan, and we're gonna, you know, be in really good standing here. Yeah. I was so naive. I had no idea that one week of treatment is not gonna cure or fix something that had been in her body for 10 years and had impacted every organ. In fact, after that one week of treatment, I brought my daughter home and basically in a wheelchair. She was so worn out from treatment, so worn out from IVs and everything that they had done for her. I realized it was just too much. I mean, we were throwing like a whole kitchen sink at this body that was already so beat up from battling this disease on its own. So at that point, we had to really just whittle things back. Found a Lyme literate doctor that worked in conjunction with this doctor that had diagnosed Alex with Lyme disease. And then it was just a lot of different treatments, which I'm not gonna go into now. That's why I wrote a book because there's so much of Lyme disease that you can and cannot do. So that was in 2017, and unfortunately, all the money that I poured into Alex, all the cross-country treatments we did in the next year, um, we just could never get a leg up on her disease, and she passed in March of 2018.

Valerie Jones

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you lost your Alex. And I'm sorry for the ordeal leading up to that moment. You said something in the book. You said the surrender of control had been the hardest challenge for my faith. And you've already alluded to it, right? We like to, we're problem solvers by nature as women, right? We like to fix things and hold everything together and hold everybody else together right along with us. And so, what was that like navigating that season? You talked a lot in the book too about you know being determined to show up, to put on a brave face, even though internally you were just emotionally exhausted and kind of crumbling under the weight of all of this. What what was that like? What did it look like to be brave? What did it mean to you to be brave in that season? And just walk us through that a little bit.

Jody Hudson

So, you know, definitely life is challenging when you are raising children, but then you throw in a child that has special needs, whatever that looks like, you know, and in my case it was with this unknown disease that became apparent to us in in 2017, but then trying to find doctors and people that could help you, and so many times, you know, doors were shut in your face. There was a lot of gaslighting, even when we knew what Alex's diagnosis was, if we didn't have doctors who understood what she was going through, um, it was it was horrendous. There was she was putting a psych lock down one time. I mean, just you know how ignorant the community can be. So trying to wrestle and process all of that with my faith was such a roller coaster ride. You know, I'd have these days where I'm like, all right, God, I'm so committed to to you, and I know you've got this. And, you know, Alex is is such, she has such a servant's heart. She was always doing things for other people, and surely you're going to save her. Surely you're not gonna let her keep suffering, right? And there was this time, it was in December before she passed in 2018, where I had a major, major get down, get ugly conversation with God. And I think sometimes looking back on all of this, we need to really have those get down, get dirty conversations with God because he already knows what's going on with us, but we we have to be able to verbalize it and really bring him into this. So, what did that look like? So I was cleaning one day in my house, like a lot of us when we get angst, we clean, right? You pick up a rag and just start cleaning away. And I just was feeling so overwhelmed. And so I went and told Alex, hey, I'm gonna go run to the grocery store, I'll be right back. Because I didn't want her, I never wanted her to see me being down. I never wanted her to see me upset because I needed to always be so strong for her. And so I was driving away and I got a couple blocks away from the house, and I just pulled over into like this vacant lot area, this parking lot, and I just sat there and I just started like pounding on the dashboard, and I was yelling at God, and I was saying, you know what? I am done with all of this. Like, I don't know how much more you can put me through. Like, I can't take this any longer. And silly me, I gave God an ultimatum. I'm like, you either heal my daughter right now or you take her because we are in purgatory, and I can't I can't keep up with this, and neither can Alex. So make something out of this, but get us out of this purgatory. Like, how dare you leave us here? And so I got it all out of my system. I came back home and let Alex know I was there, and I started dusting again, and I looked outside the window, and we have this courtyard with this beautiful water fountain, and I saw a bluebird on top of this fountain, and it just kind of really calmed me down. And I was like, Wow, I wonder if Alex sees this. So I went back into the back bedroom and I said, Honey, I go, have you seen this bluebird before? And she said to me, Yes, mom. She goes, I see it every day. It comes at 3 p.m. I said, Have you seen it for a while? And she said, Yeah. She goes, I've seen it for the last couple of weeks. And I said, Well, how does that make you feel? And she goes, Well, it's kind of like my sign from God. And I started crying. She goes, Because I know he hasn't forgotten about me, and I know that I have one day here longer on earth. And so I just gave her this hug and I walked outs back outside into the living room and I sat down. And then I'm like, Oh my gosh, like, God, I need to apologize to you. I'm so sorry. I gave it to you. I thought you had abandoned us. Like I didn't know where you were in all of this, but you're showing up for my daughter in a beautiful way. And maybe you had been showing up for me too, but I was too busy. I was too consumed by everything going on. I didn't look up. I didn't look out. I didn't see the signs. And so, you know, I had that moment where I'm like, I've got to pay attention. Like, I've got to pay attention to these signs because when we were going through these dark things in our lives, it's so easy to be in this bubble and think that God isn't there with us, but He's always there with us. We just have to look for those signs.

Valerie Jones

I love that you just said that. I the bluebird, it's of course on the cover of the book, which is beautiful. There is a photo of the fountain. Beautiful in the book. And I I I think about the bluebird and even other ways reading your your story and reading Alex's story, that there really was evidence of God's kindness sprinkled throughout that story. And it is such a powerful reminder that he never leaves, even on the worst of days. And I love that you said we just have to look up and look out.

Jody Hudson

After I saw that bluebird and I had some more, you know, reflection. And like I said, this was December. She passed in March, and I think it was in February, where I thought, I just don't know how much more time I'm gonna have with her. Like we weren't getting answers from doctors. I was doing as much as I could to, you know, keep her alive, but I just I could tell like she was slipping away from me. And one day I said to Alex, I go, you know what, honey? I go, when it comes time that God decides that, you know, He wants you with them up in heaven, that your job is done here. I said selfishly, like, I don't know how I'm not gonna be able to talk to you anymore and communicate with you. And I was goofing around, I'm like, oh, we should have like a little code word. We should have a sign. And she said, Mom, it will be the bluebird. Just like always look for the bluebird. And so I looked up the meaning of the bluebird, and the bluebird is a symbol of hope. And I'm like, wow, this is just like all too perfect. And after she passed, I have to tell you, Valerie, I saw bluebirds all the time. My friends would call me and say, Hey, Alex just popped in. I just saw a bluebird. I mean, it's just amazing how like God was always showing up. Yeah. Well, she's always showing up.

Valerie Jones

He is so kind in that way. You had this moment that you've described where you're just questioning everything. You're frustrated, you're questioning your faith, your sanity, yourself. You said, even at one point, you were questioning Alex. Like, what is actually happening here? And then a bit later in the story, before Alex passed away, you had this beautiful moment of surrender on a plane where you said my heart was filled with gratitude, peace, and acceptance. I finally understood that the rest of her journey was in God's hand and his alone.

Jody Hudson

Yep.

Valerie Jones

How powerful. Wow.

Jody Hudson

Oh, so that was um after one of our stays um in one of the treatment centers. Um, it was a three-week stay. And again, we were just like rolling the dice. Like I had really I'd heard really good things about this facility. People had like gone there in wheelchairs, walked out. I mean, it was like a lot of miracles happening there, a lot of healing, physical healing. And we went there. Um, we had to stay in a hotel because it was just, you know, during the day they would do the the treatments. Um, but on the second day, um, while Alex was having a treatment, I was just lost. I was just, you know, exhausted. Like, am I doing the right thing? This is a lot of money. I had to sell Alex's car. Again, insurance didn't pay for a lot of this. Her dad wasn't involved in any of this, so it was just me, you know, trying to do all this. And so I was sitting down outside on a in a patio chair, and a gentleman walked by and he looked at me and he said, Can I sit down with you? I'm like, Yeah, sure. And so we started talking, and he said, I just felt like God wanted me to sit down with you. And he goes, Do you want to pray? And so we did, and I told him about Alex's story, and he said, Sne up over there on the third floor. He goes, That's my office. He goes, I want you to come every morning, and if you want to pray with me, I will pray with you and I will pray with your daughter as well. He goes, I don't know what this is gonna look like here, and I hope that she can get the treatment that she needs and have it be successful, but I'm gonna make sure that I sustain your faith and help you as you are here, and I was just like so grateful for that. And so I told Alex about that later on when I saw her, and she's like, Oh, well, I want to meet him too. Turned out he was the CFO there, he was the financial you know officer, and he was so wonderful, and so we were only gonna stay there two weeks. At the end of two weeks, nothing had really turned for her, nothing had really gotten better, and so they um said, you know what? Let's give her one more week, and you know, if it doesn't work out, we'll refund you that last week. Like, but let's just see if things can start turning. Well, after the third week, nothing really was turning. Um, and they were so kind, so generous, they refunded me money. We sat there with this CFO on our last day, and we just had this wonderful, beautiful connection with him. We actually had gone out and got him across for his office just as a thank you. And he had written us these letters, and he said, I don't want you to open this letter until you're on the plane. He goes, but I have one for you, Alex, and I have one for your mom. And so we, you know, said our goodbyes, and everybody was coming up to Alex and saying, you know what, Alex, you were so brave when you were here, and we're sorry you didn't get the healing that you wanted. The healing that you gave others, right? Just through your you know beauty and through praying for others has been so remarkable. Like, we are never gonna forget you. And so when we got on that plane, I opened up my letter, she opened up her letter, and I had this epiphany where it's like, you know what, we weren't supposed to get the physical healing, but she got a greater healing, which was her spiritual healing, and from that point forward, I'm like, okay, God, like whatever is meant to be, I'm okay with it. So it really was like the most powerful thing that we could have received, and it just flipped my whole mindset on what healing looks like.

Valerie Jones

Wow, that's really powerful and beautiful, and it's it is clear that God has redeemed uh years of pain and struggle and heartache in uh a way that only He can through Alex's life, through her legacy, and through the way that she showed up during that season. You know, you talk about Alex's brand in the book being kindness, right? She was such a servant-hearted, it was it was all over the pages of the book how she would show up for people that she knew that she didn't know with generosity and kindness and love and compassion. And it is it is incredible to see what the Lord is doing, even still through her life and through your obedience.

Jody Hudson

Yes, I'm I call her the homeless whisperer. I mean, she because of my work, my children were both exposed to working with homeless people and understanding, you know, empathy and and kindness. And when she was really getting sick towards the end, it dawned on me. I'm like, she's so comfortable with those individuals because they were broken, like she is broken. Right. And I think they so identified with each other. It was um, yeah, it was really beautiful.

Valerie Jones

Yeah, it is, it is really beautiful. You said something in the opening of the book, you were giving a speech, I believe, and you said we all have choices to make. People would ask you, I think you were saying this in in answer to the question, like, how are you going to go on? And you said, We all have choices to make. I refuse to walk in darkness, I choose light. And it is so clear that Alex even did that, even in her her short time on the earth. And thank you for sharing her with us.

Jody Hudson

And yes, oh my gosh, you know, and that's what you know, people say, like, how do you move on after a death of a child? And I said, How can I not move on with everything that she endured, everything that she went through, but every day she still showed up with a smile. She still showed up with how can I help others? She took on this redemptive suffering where she wanted to attach her suffering to something greater. So she kind of led and paved the path for me. Like I could not do nothing, right? Like just in her honor and in her legacy, like I had to move forward, write this book so people could, you know, see how incredible she was. I mean, we all say our kids are incredible, right? But no, I wanted to put it in black and white in print and give all the different examples of how she still continued to show up despite what she was going through. And that has been my mantra to this day. Like when I get up in the morning, I'm like, how can I put my best foot forward? Like, how can I glorify God? How can people look at me and say, gosh, everything that she has gone through? And I told you my story from birth to what happened with my marriage and what happened with Alex. It's like everything she has gone through, but look at her, like she still, you know, shines with this light. She still is wanting to do things for others. Like, I never wanted to be defined as a grief girl. Like, I wanted to be defined by his light, through his light, so people can look at me and say, like, I want what she has. And that's that relationship with God.

Valerie Jones

That is so beautiful. I can that resonates so deeply with me. I had I knew a lady in the work that I did prior to what I'm doing now, and she would always refer to us, you know. I've also I've lost a two children, and so she would refer, she had also lost a child, and she would say, Well, we're grievers, we're grievers. I'm like, Yeah, no, I'm I don't want that label. I'm I'm I have grieved, yes. But because of Jesus, I don't grieve like somebody who doesn't have hope. And so I really that is so profound what you what you just said. Um I let's talk really quickly about the after now and your faith and your relationship. You've described the moment in the room with Alex's passing as a sacred moment. I call it the parting gift. The parting gift, yes, yeah, yes, and you you knew very quickly within two days what it is that you wanted to do in response, yeah. Right? And so what's different now? What's different now for you versus before?

Jody Hudson

Uh how have things changed for you besides the obvious I think in that moment, as I call it the the parting gift when you know Alex showed me through her own eyes and her beautiful smile where she was going. Um I flipped my whole thinking, and it didn't happen within 24 hours, right? I mean, it was a process, but I flipped my thinking from like this grieving mother into more of a biblical testimonial mother. Like I wanted people to know that yes, when a loved one, you know, passes, it's tough, it's sad, we're human, we have all those emotions, but yet there's still so much more for us to do here on earth.

Valerie Jones

Right.

Jody Hudson

Like else in her 22 years on earth, she did everything that God wanted her to do. It's like, good job, faithful servant. But he looks at me, I just turned 65 a little while ago, and he's like, woman, we still have a lot of work to do with you. So then you have to ask yourself, how do I live out my life in a servant's heart? Like do an inventory, a checklist. As I said before, I thought I was Catholic, I'm doing everything right, I'm checking off all the sacraments, but like, am I really living out the faith? Am I living, am I really living out what he wants me to do? And that's why I said when it was like all before Alex's stuff that went on, it was a very passive faith.

Valerie Jones

Right.

Jody Hudson

But now I've kind of moved into this recalibration, like a you know, transformation into more of an active faith, like making it purposeful every morning when I wake up, like you know, I I'm doing my you know daily readings, I'm involved in Bible studies. But how am I bringing God into that walk during the day? Like I just can't have them in the morning for that hour doing my scripture reading and my prayers, and then at nighttime thanking him. No, like he wants all of us, like he wants to be with us every second, every minute, every hour. So I think that's what we're we're called to do is to have that act of faith, yeah, and not just think we're doing such a wonderful job because we're checking off things from a checklist.

Valerie Jones

He doesn't want that. No, our faith is not something that we put in a box and pull it out when we need it. And that's that's exactly what you're saying.

Jody Hudson

And you know, you had talked earlier about that whole surrender and control, and I think that's a really important thing with our faith. And you know, it it played its role in so many things that I went through with Alex, but I really have learned, and it's been a hard lesson, but I've really learned that to remind myself, Jody, like God does not want you to control the world, right? He has got control over it. Yeah, what your job is, is to continue to bring him into your world, to continue to bring him into your day, okay? So you focus on that, let him focus on everything else. And when you kind of break it down into that perspective, it's like, oh wow, okay, yeah, I guess you're right. This is his world. We're just living in it. That's right, that's right. How do how do we, you know, how are we good messengers? How are we good, you know, boots on the ground, um, individuals for him? How are we good prayer warriors? How are we showing up for ourselves? How are we showing up for him? How are we showing up for our family and friends? So it really is um a process and it does not happen overnight.

Valerie Jones

No, it takes intention. What's something else that you learned in the process along the way about God? Maybe that surprised you that you didn't know before.

Jody Hudson

But when I look back on my life and I look back on all these things that I've gone through, I think the thing that has surprised me the most is, and it's kind of like the footprints in the sand, that whole story. Yes, it's like all those times where I thought I was going and doing it by myself, and I was alone, and I kept crying out, like, God, where are you in all of this? Like, he was always there. Right. And again, it's just, you know, it was me not paying attention to him and to those signs. And, you know, I think God figured this out with me. It's like, I gotta really slap this woman in the head and send her bigger signs because she's just not getting it. So that's why he did the bluebird and he did these other beautiful signs, and some of them I talk about in the book. He's like, Yeah, she's a little slow to the switch. I need to step this up.

Valerie Jones

I love that. I think that that's so important though, because even in looking for God in our everyday lives, you've already talked about the opportunities that he often puts in front of us that we can be so quick to rush past, right? Because we're just not keyed in and looking and paying attention and aware. And I I call those my God moments, right? He drops these little tiny pockets of joy right in front of us, or an opportunity, and they are all around us.

Jody Hudson

How many times do we get so frustrated when we're at the checkout line and there's like a long line in front of us, and we're like, oh my gosh, like looking at our watch, looking at the phone. Well, you know, maybe God puts you in that line and he has somebody either in front of you or behind you that you're gonna have a moment with, right?

Valerie Jones

That's right.

Jody Hudson

So I really try and flip the switch and think of things like that, where it's like, okay, instead of being irritated, God has presented me with this moment. So how am I gonna use this moment?

Valerie Jones

We're not as good as we used to be. I think just in general at seeing people, and I think that you've done that so beautifully, and Alex did that so beautifully, even in her most difficult season, and I think it's such a testament to God in you, and it's beautiful, it's really beautiful. Is there something that you learned about yourself through the process that surprised you?

Jody Hudson

When I look back on everything, um couple things like I was surprised by the resilience and the grit that he kept building within me. And then also it was kind of like on the stove when you have just that simmer of a flame. That had always been with me, but I really think even like with your faith, it can keep, you know, taking on different levels of um of depth. And even like within the last six months, I feel like he's ignited my flame, and I'm on high, high, high. And like doing these podcasts, this is all new. I've been doing this for about six months now, and just people like you and other very like-minded, faith, you know, driven women that I've connected with, like there, there's a fire in me right now. And I think, you know, that's like our faith can be best expressed that way by your flame. Like, I feel, you know, a lot of times we just have it on simmer, but when you really lean into these opportunities that God gives you, and you know, the opportunities to do more for yourself and for him, boy, it ignites it, it goes way up on high. And that's where I feel like I'm at right now. So I think that's really surprised me. And I shared this with a couple of people um within the last month or two, and they're like, Jody, we saw like something's going on with you, like in a very good way. So, yeah, I I think that kind of you know surprised me a little bit too. It's like just when you think that God has done everything in your life and you're like right where you're supposed to be with him, he keeps putting that, turning that flame up.

Valerie Jones

We never really exhaust the possibility.

Jody Hudson

There is no end to it, is if we continue to lean in, right? Yeah, and that's the beauty. I mean, if there's one thing that you know people are listening to today, it's like don't be afraid, like stop just tiptoeing into the waters, like do a full plunge, like get in there with both feet because it is so amazing what God can do in your life if you are receptive to it. It's I've I've had so many more blessings. I thought the blessings would have been done by now, but he just keeps blessing me in beautiful ways.

Valerie Jones

You mentioned in our conversation before the interview here, one of your new favorite resources, a book that you had grabbed hold of in the last little bit fervent, talking about prayer, prayer life. And I think that in my life, and I would love to know if this has been true for you too, my prayer life is something that evolved and changed. I understood prayer differently after. My season of loss and grief and tragedy than I did before. Can you talk about that a little bit?

Jody Hudson

Sure. So, you know, I double dip with my faith. So, you know, I still go to the Catholic Church and receive my sacraments. But then through my daughter, I got involved in the non-denominational church. And so I like to do Bible studies in both of them. So I do a Catholic-based one on Thursday, and Friday a non-denominational one. And it was with a new group of women, and they selected this book fervent. So if anyone, you know, has watched The War Room with Priscilla Shear, I think her name is, um this is the same woman that was in the movie that wrote this book. And I never really understood some of my friends who are who are in the non-denominational world. When I years ago would say to them, hey, I need you to pray for my son, I need you to pray for this. They text back and they're like, on it. I'm on my you know, hands and knees, I'm, you know, doing it all right now. And I'd be like, hands and knees? Like, God, that doesn't seem very comfortable. Like, oh, okay, wow, you're really getting into it. But I understand what that is like and how like we talked about faith, active and passive prayer can be that way too. Active and passive. So my prayer life was always very passive. But reading this book, I get it now, where you just really like get yourself in this little space, and you know, you are just going to town and you are being very intentional. And so it's just a whole new level of putting your prayer life into a very active um prayer life. And it has really changed my way of prayer. And I I've been telling a lot of people, if you haven't read this book yet, you really need to.

Valerie Jones

And I think that having a rich and powerful, thriving prayer life is another thing, at least for me, and maybe this is true for you too, that fills me with that courage. It is one of the things that helps fan that flame and to build it into something that is um more than just a simmer. And so it's been really an important part for me.

Jody Hudson

Well, because you you've got, you know, God with you, right? Like, I don't know how people can live their life without God. Right. Like it just boggles my mind. And there have been some seasons where I tried to, you know, do without him because I was just in that place. And every time I bring them back in, I'm like, you know, I don't know why I thought I could do this by myself. No, we were not meant to do life without him. No, right?

Valerie Jones

No, it doesn't work, it doesn't. No. So I want to ask one more question, then I have a favor to ask of you. Yeah. What would you today say to Jody at the beginning? You know, knowing what you know now, what would you what would be the one thing? Or to the woman or man even who's listening, and they're just in the middle of their own hard, devastating season, they're barely holding it together, they're wondering if God's even paying attention. What is the one thing that you would want that person to know?

Jody Hudson

Oh my gosh, give yourself grace because when you look back on life, there's so many reminders and so many instances where you did not think that you were going to be able to survive what you're going through right now. And guess what? You do. Like everything that we have gone through in life, we're still standing here today by the grace of God. Give yourself grace. You know what? God says, I'm I'm not promising you a better roses. Like life is not gonna always be wonderful and joyful, you know. That's why there's so many lamentations. There's so many different, you know, ways of us trying to, you know, worship through all this pain and all these challenges. It's like, give yourself grace. And for me, the biggest thing was take a breath and pause. Like I was twisted sister just like so many times. But if I would have just sat down and like literally just took a breath, you know, and and leaned into God more, I think that I wouldn't have caused myself so much additional pain and anguish.

Valerie Jones

Yes, that's really powerful and important. Again, it's that taking a beat and inviting God into the moment on purpose. Give yourself a timeout. Yes. I say that all the time to my family. I'm like, I need a timeout, I'm gonna put myself in timeout for just a minute.

Jody Hudson

It usually involves coffee too, but yeah, give yourself a timeout, like in the you know, um, in the war room, like find yourself a little closet or or a place that can just be a sacred place for you. You can close the door, nobody will bother you, and just take a breath.

Valerie Jones

Take a breath and wait on the Lord. He's so kind and faithful, and he's ever present. Well, when we spoke in our pre-interview, you shared with me something that you had written for Holy Week for Station 13. It moved me so deeply. It was beautiful and uh powerful, and I really think it just summed up everything that that you represent uh so well, and I wondered if you'd be open to sharing that with us today as we wrap up. Sure.

Jody Hudson

Yep, yep, I have it right here. So I was um in our little Sunday group, I was um chosen just by random, and again, nothing is by random with God, right? But um I had the 13th station, and it's how has Jesus moved me through grief? And I'm like, oh, this is perfect topic for me.

Valerie Jones

Yeah.

Jody Hudson

When Mary holds the body of Jesus at the 13th station, it's a moment that feels unbearable to even imagine. A mother holding her son and processing both love and loss. And yet I understand that moment in a way I never wanted to. When my 22-year-old daughter Alex passed in 2018, I too held my child, and in that moment everything stood still. It was a sacred pause where love and loss coexisted. God met me there and helped me to honor and love my child through the raw pain I felt. I learned that I grieved hard because I loved hard. And love never disappears just because someone is gone. It takes on a whole new meaning. This was shown to me so beautifully through Alex's parting gift when she lifted her head from her pillow and looked up to heaven and opened her eyes and smiled that big, beautiful smile of hers one last time, and then she passed. In that moment, she showed me she was back home with her heavenly father. And though for me it was my deepest and worst sorrow here on earth to let her go, I realized it was her greatest joy. And so I pivoted from a grieving mom to a testimonial. I turned my pain into purpose through Alex's foundation, through writing my book, and through speaking life into others who are walking through unimaginable loss. Just as love held Mary at the cross, love is what carries me through. Grief is not the end of my story. Love is thank you.

Valerie Jones

I don't have words big enough to express my gratitude for for your willingness to share. And thank you for entrusting me with these moments and and your story and Alex's story and for encouraging our listeners today.

Jody Hudson

Thank you for having me. And you know, eight years later, I feel like it was just yesterday that I walked through this uh painful journey, but really through the grace of God, through my faith, and just through Alex's own testimonial, um, you know, I move forward, and I just want to be like Alex, where when my life is done here on earth, God can say to me like he did to Alex, good job, my faithful servant.

Valerie Jones

Jody, thank you again. It is an incredible gift to hold space for the story today. Friend, if you are sitting with something heavy right now, if you're in the middle of your own hard or devastating season, and you're wondering if God sees you or if he's even there with you, I hope what you heard today stays with you. He is there, he has always been there, and he will always be there. Sometimes he sends a bluebird, sometimes he sends a stranger with an office on the third floor, but he is never absent and he is always working. Look up and look out, learn to find beauty in unexpected places. Now, if today's conversation spoke to you, I would love for you to grab Jody's book, My Promise to Alex. I'll have a link in the show notes. And if you want to learn more about the work that Jody's doing with the Alex Hudson Lime Foundation, you can find that link in the show notes as well. And hey, if this episode meant something to you, would you do me a favor and share it with one person who might need to hear it today? Or you can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Those things matter more than you know, and they help this podcast find the women who need it the most. I'll be back with you next month. Until then, remember you're loved, you matter, and you are not alone. The life that God called you to, friend, is worth the fight. Until next time, eyes on Jesus.