Beautifully Broken

This week we are joined by Stephanie Bullock to speak about her journey into women’s ministry and her upcoming Beautifully Broken women’s conference.

Website and tickets: www.beautifullybrokenministriesms.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/18LyRLbVCn/?mibextid=wwXIfr

 Instagram: @beautifullybrokenministriesms

TikTok: @beautifully.brokenms

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@beautifullybrokenministries?si=l6zqk8M6k0mjPWlr

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Well, we recently did a podcast episode about the struggles that young men face and just kind of men across the board. Um, imagine my shock and surprise when I realized that women struggle too. Who knew? Let's discuss that. This is the Topher Brown show. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Topher Brown show. Appreciate you tuning in wherever you're watching from, wherever you're listening from. Uh, we're gonna talk about some things today that uh frankly I have no idea really about because I am a man and I don't struggle with women's issues, but apparently I'm told that women do have their own certain unique struggles. We talk about we talk a lot about the things that men struggle with on this podcast, but we have failed. I'm afraid I'm afraid that we have failed half of the population by not discussing the things that women struggle with. Um, I am not qualified to speak on this subject, but we do have a guest today that's gonna help us out with all of that. But before we get to that, gotta throw it over to my co-host, Mr. Nick Smith. How's it going in there, bud?

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Oh, pretty good. Howdy, howdy America.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Uh now, neither one of our wives struggle with anything. So we we're not sure what what the subject matter is today. Am I correct?

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Oh, for real. I mean, uh, she has all the answers for me. She's 100% right every time.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yep. Yeah. Emotionally, they don't struggle with anything. Nah. Um, you know. Our lives are our our our lives and our wives are just completely perfect and happy and normal. And um of course, that that doesn't account for all the times when it's not that way. Just saying. Of course we're being hyperbolic. Nobody freak out. Uh we uh we understand and fully realize that uh that women have their own struggles because they're human beings. They're they are of the flesh, men are of the flesh. We all struggle. Um I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't qualified to talk about these things, but uh we did bring somebody in. Our guest today is qualified to talk about these things because she is, in fact, a woman, and she's a wonderful friend of ours. This is uh she's a part of our church and she's a part of our worship team. This is Miss Stephanie Bullock. What's going on, Steph?

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Hey, good morning. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Thank you for being on the show.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Yes, thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Howdy, howdy, Steph.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Hi, hi.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Um, so so we brought you on to talk about a few different things, but before we get into that, uh, who are you? What do you do? All of that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Well, um, my name is Stephanie Bullock, and I live in Brookhaven, been there about 15 years, maybe 16, 17, I'll lose count, originally from Simpson County, but um, but pretty much call Berkhaven home now and have enjoyed raising um our three boys in the town and being a part of the community. Um I actually my my full-time job is that I work at Mississippi Institutions of Higher Learning. We are the governing board of the public universities in our state.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

And I'm I have a fancy title that wouldn't tell you what I did, even if I told it to you. Um, but I I work in the Office of Academic and Student Affairs, where I help with basically adult learner initiatives and um adult learners that are coming back to college. Maybe they started and they stopped out and they're wanting to come back and finish their degrees. And so we we work on strategic initiatives, policies, procedures, degree programs that allow them to be able to come back and break down some of the barriers that adult learners have in coming back. So that's um that's a very rewarding and a very um very challenging job.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

That all sounds extremely complicated. And I don't know how I don't know much of what you just said. But I'm very thankful that they have somebody like you uh doing it there.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

Yeah, most people don't. Most people don't. Um, but I've been married to my husband for um 12 years, uh Chastin Bullock, he's the director over the Lincoln Civic Center um in Berkhaven. We have five total children.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Yeah, he had two from a previous marriage. I had three, um, and they are 27, 25, 23, 22, and 18.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Holy smokes.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Yeah. So um we are we the last one will graduate in May, and we are about to officially be empty nesters, and we are pretty excited about that.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Yeah. Are you is that bittersweet to you or is that just sweet?

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Um, it's not bittersweet because I tell moms all the time, and a lot of our our our senior moms, we we've talked about this. You know, some of them are sad and some of them are are glad. For me, it's a joyous occasion because we've raised our boys for this time. We have raised our children for this time. And I say boys because all of the other moms are boy moms too.

SPEAKER_05 5:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

But we have raised them for the opportunity for them to go into adulthood. And hopefully we have entrusted in and and instilled into them the principles and the and the guidance and the morals and the ethics that they need to go and do. Will they make mistakes? Yes. But we'll be there to help pick them back up. But it's time for them to go into the world and be the person that we have raised them to be. So no, I it's a great time for me. Um, I I have a great relationship with my kids. And I, you know, I feared that it would hinder how much we talk or how much we communicate, but with my older two, they've proven that it it doesn't. I still talk to them on a daily basis, and that it's it's nice. So no, this is a sweet time.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Well, that kind of answers one of my questions. I I do have another one for you though. Um, a lot of us with uh kids under 18, we call 18 the finish line. Is that true or does the parenting keep going?

SPEAKER_02 6:08

The parenting continues, but it is in a a very different light. So now I'm having to transition from I can't make the decisions for them. And I can't really or shouldn't uh strongly persuade them. What I can do is give them my experiences and and the knowledge that I have, and I always follow it up with now you have to make a decision that is best for you.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

And whatever you decide, I'll support that.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Yeah, there you go. That's great. That's great, fantastic. Uh, I know all of her kids, and they're all wonderful human beings. Um, my son is especially attached to your son, Addison. Yes. Addison's 20.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

He's the 22-year-old, he'd be 23.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

My son absolutely adores Addison. They're their best buds whenever they're together.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

They are.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Um, and uh your your husband, also a dear friend of ours. Um, we've done a lot of life together. You are in fact the first uh female that we've had on this podcast.

SPEAKER_05 7:10

Well, well congratulations on that.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Uh not that you needed that uh, you know, to put on your trophy case. But uh you are so we uh specifically um we're gonna talk about your ministry and and conference and everything coming up, but I kind of wanted to specifically talk about some of the issues that women struggle with because you know, being somewhat hyperbolic in the intro, but it really is quite a different set of struggles that men have set aside from women. Sure. Women have a completely unique, unique set of struggles that they deal with, and it's just because you know God made us different that way.

SPEAKER_04 7:49

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

And uh we're meant to, in my personal humble, like our pastor says, yet accurate opinion, uh, we're supposed to compliment each other in that way so that we can help each other with those struggles. Um, you know. Um so I think that's I think that's the way that God designed us. But um from your perspective as a as a woman, uh no longer a girl, but you're a you're a mom and you're a um you're a business, you're in business and you've you've got all this life experience and stuff. Um, and we can get into as much as your of your personal story as you want, feel comfortable with. But what do you see kind of what uh out there in the in the culture right now? Um what are the main things we talked about on our podcast where we're talking about young men? There's a there's this like concerted effort from influencers, social media influencers, uh, internet influencers to pull these young men in every which direction to get them to come around to their point of view. Does that kind of content exist in the women's space? Do you are there are there people that are trying to to pull you in in a hundred different directions?

SPEAKER_02 9:00

Yes. Um, and so one of the things that I notice is first of all, we are very emotional creatures. Um, and that is also by design. How we use that is is um critical. And one of the things that I see with influencers and social media right now is is is that that confidence, self-worth, being deserving, being worthy. Um and and that comes from all different directions to your lips need filler, um, your forehead needs Botox, you need this Korean um skincare to have the glass face, um, you know, self-tanner, um, which I'm guilty of because I don't like tanning beds, I don't have time. And um it's all about it's about image, yeah, which the deeper root of that, in my opinion, is that self-worth and and being worthy. And that is um to me, it's fine to want some of those things, but not at the expense of you believing that you're not worthy.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

And so one of the things that I love to make sure through the ministry that women that know they know and they believe is that you are worthy just the way you are. God created you in his image. And so you are worthy just the way you are. And so now, do we all have ways to grow in areas to grow in? Absolutely we do. Even I have areas to grow in, but that doesn't make us unworthy or undeserving of his love and his grace and his mercy. And so, so yeah, influencers are pulling people in there in ways that make them feel like they're not good enough.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

And I don't like that because that is untrue.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Yeah, amen to that. Um, yes, the Lord, I 100% agree, the Lord made you exactly who who you are. That and and sometimes that doesn't mean that you're supposed to just stay right there. You're supposed to grow. You're we're we're we are constantly supposed to be growing. And hopefully, you know, if you're listening to this podcast and you're a believer, you're growing closer to the Lord and you're really understanding who it exactly it is that he made you to be.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Yeah, and and and and it may be it may be self-image, but in a biblical sense, sure. Self-image that needs to change. You don't need Korean skincare to change your biblical image and grow spiritually the way that God and and becoming the woman that God has intended for you to be. Um, what you need is just scripture. Yeah, what you need is a a a wise mentor, a biblical mentor. What you need is to get into the word daily and pray and meditate and actually spend time with him. That is what is going to change your self-image in a biblical sense, so that then you can go and make other disciples for him.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Yeah, that's such a good word. Um, and you know, kind of what we experience uh on a daily basis in the manosphere, if you will, as they all like to call it these days. I don't even know what that means, but me either. Um in the manosphere, what we experience is a lot of guys um trying to get you to, you know, be be the boss man. Like you, you need to well, we talked about like Andrew Tate and Nick Fuentes and some of these in social media influencers that basically are telling you you need to assert your dominance over women, you need to treat women just any type of way, treat them, you know, use them for uh your own purposes, because that's what being a man is. Like it's it's a it's a real thing that these guys are really like kind of pushing. We call it the woke right. It's uh you know, you have a woke left, but there's also a woke right, and it's like the extreme polar opposite of what the woke left is. And it's these guys that are a lot of them are racist, a lot of them are anti-Semitic, but what they definitely are is trying to pull these guys over onto their side in the with the guise of this is what you do to be a real man. Um now what I've seen on the from the women woman sphere, if you will, if we're gonna use those terms, is something kind of similar. It's it's this whole um, and you tell me tell me if I'm wrong or tell me if you've experienced any of this stuff. It's this whole um you don't need a man and you don't need anyone else uh to help you but help you be who you want to be. You can do all of it on your own all the time. Um and it's kind of the same, it's kind of like this the same side of uh two different sides of the same coin. In the manosphere, we got people who are um trying to tell us that we don't need anybody to do the things that we need to do. And I feel it's I feel like it's the exact same way in the woman's sphere, too. It's like what what I fear is it's taking our dependence away from the Lord and putting it on ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Yeah, absolutely. So as you were saying that, what what came to mind was that that is so far from the design that God has for couples, for married couples, that that's so foreign to me. And so, no, I haven't experienced that because if I am scrolling and I see that, I probably keep going. Yeah um because it's not edifying to my soul. And so, no, I'm I'm not listening to any of that now. That doesn't mean that other women aren't listening. Um, what I would what I would say to anyone that may be watching that is listening to those sorts of um influences is that God made the woman to be a helpmate, a suitable helpmate. Um, and I'm I'm gonna butcher it, um, but Ezer connecto. Um I probably said that completely wrong and with a southern accent, and that's okay. You can look it up. But suitable helpmate, that is what a woman is to the man. And and helpmate means that even the man, then it's a partnership. It's not a dominance one over the other. And yes, the woman is supposed to submit to the man, but the man is supposed to be submitting to God. And so again, it's a partnership, even up to God, it's a partnership, it's a three-way partnership. So um, yeah, I would I would give warning to anyone listening to that, that that is not biblical. And I would, I would challenge you to get into your word and find out what God is saying about what you should be doing. And even if you're a single woman, you haven't found that that helpmate yet. Um, you need to be preparing to be the suitable helpmate that God wants you to be for the man when he brings him to you. God will bring the man to you. That that's key. You're not supposed to be seeking the man, you're supposed to be praying for whoever that is, and God will bring him to you. You need to be preparing for that moment by by seeking after Christ and seeking after him and loving him and loving only him. Because when you are loving Christ and you are becoming closer to him, then and only then can you be prepared for the man that is God has prepared for you. And it will not be a man that is that thinks he needs to impart dominance over you. That's not biblical.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Exactly right. And I can remember, you know, I I touched on this a little bit during that episode. Um, I can remember back in my 20s uh when I was living life just any kind of way. Um thinking to myself that you know, um I'm not cut, you know, I'm I'm not cut out for long-term relationships. I'm just I'm not gonna commit. Um it's all just kind of a game, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then the Lord uh chose to just wreck my life, you know, for lack of a better uh phrase. And at the same time bring my wife to me. Uh allow us to meet, set up the circumstances to where we we met, and my whole outlook changed, and that and I think that's kind of speaking to your point. When I met her, my whole outlook changed on long-term relationships. Yes, and it stopped being primarily about me and started being about us.

SPEAKER_04 17:28

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Um, and then not to even not to mention like bringing kids into the equation, like then, then it's just it's all different again. That's a whole nother level of complexity. Yeah, exactly. It's a whole different perspective that you have. Like, I'm sitting here now, I can remember just having this kind of narcissistic mindset in my 20s of um just going after the things that I want. Uh this I want to be a rock star, I'm gonna be a musician, I'm gonna travel the world, blah, blah, blah. And then I kind of got that for a second and realized that it was all empty and void. And then now, post getting married and uh father of three children, I'm like, oh no, no, no, no. That's what I was meant to do.

SPEAKER_04 18:09

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

I was meant to be a husband and a dad.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

That's what I was meant to do. That's all I ever am. I'm good with that.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Yeah. And isn't it cool how God gave you the desire of your heart for just a minute for you to fully understand this isn't the plan I have for you. I'm giving you a taste so that I can get you to fully surrender. Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Right. Otherwise, I'd wound up alone. And I think I think that that that's what I'm seeing kind of out there is is on both sides of that coin. The the the women who are being told, hey, you don't need no man, you just need to to to climb the corporate ladder as much as you possibly can and become the boss. Then a lot of these women are winding up alone. Yeah. They're winding up past the age of being able to have children. And a lot of them experience some serious regret in that regard.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

I have friends like that.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Yeah, and I think men experience the same thing too. You know, obviously our biological clock is different from women's, but uh we get to uh past a certain point uh where we've done all the things that we want to do. Yeah, that there aren't any women left out there that want us. No, that don't that want anything to do with us. Yeah. And so we wind up alone. So I think that's the key takeaway is that like you if you're selfish, you focus on me, me, me, me, me, me. It winds up in you being alone. Correct. With going back to things.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Going back to something Stephanie said, like being in love with God, I think a lot of partners don't realize that it is not only okay, but it is correct to be in love with God more than it is to be in love with your spouse. Oh man. Preach that.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Preach that all day long. That's the that's the hierarchy of, you know, kind of where we're supposed to be, right? Correct. God, family, friends, work, church, whatever it is that falls up falls under that, but God has got to be number one. I think that could be said that's an encouragement for single people too, right? Some people, some people are single their entire lives and they're called to be that way. I I've I have so much respect for people like that who have submitted to that calling. And I know a couple of folks who have just remained dedicated to being single, living a life of celibacy, and the whole deal is just like, oh my gosh, how do y'all do that?

SPEAKER_04 20:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

That is like discipline that can only come from the Lord.

SPEAKER_04 20:29

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Um, but that's because they've got their priorities correct.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Uh and that's that's that's so cool to me.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

And and some of and some of those ladies have committed to that, but not because they wanted to.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

True.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

Um, they still have a desire to be married one day um and to have a a partner in life. Um, God just hasn't seen fit for that timing to be now. Yeah um, but they've still committed to the ways of the Lord and what he wants for their life in as they're waiting. Exactly. Um, and and I'm with you. I have mad respect for those ladies.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

It's so it's so inspiring to me.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

It is.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Uh and men too. There are some men that's correct have the same calling.

SPEAKER_04 21:12

That's correct.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Um but uh what it does is it it speaks to me um just about how dedicated they are to the Lord. I think about I think about Jesus in the garden uh when he was praying, knowing about knowing exactly what he was about to experience. And he had that moment of um, if there's any way that you can take this away from me, correct, uh that would be good, but not my will, your will be done. That's that's a level of of submission to the Holy Spirit that I think that few of us really have gotten there yet. I haven't gotten there.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

I can tell you that. I'm working on it, but I'm not there.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Working on it, working on it, always working on it. Sanctification process is something, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Every day.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

Yeah, absolutely. Um So I want to talk a little bit about your ministry, Beautifully Broken. Tell us kind of how that what gave you the inspiration to start it and then how how you were able to put your feet to the pavement and actually get the thing going.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Wow. So I realized in thinking about being on today, I just wanted to kind of get all my dates correct and remember um accurately. And I I realized that I don't know that I've shared this story publicly like this ever. So I appreciate the opportunity because it's actually pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

It's an exclusive, it's a Tover Brown show exclusive, ladies and gentlemen.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Well, now I really feel important. Um, but you know, first of all, you you're saying my ministry, um, it's God's ministry. And I know that's wasn't what you intended, but I want to make that clear that this is something that God 100% laid in my lap and as a responsibility. And um, and I don't take it lightly.

SPEAKER_05 23:01

Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Um, but back honestly, it's been 10 years. Uh, this is the 10-year anniversary. Actually, April will be the 10-year anniversary that God began to birth this within me. Um there was there was a day in April of 2016. I wished I knew the exact date, but I felt a heavy presence of the Holy Spirit that day, just one that was begging me to spend time with the Lord. Uh, so much to the effect that I actually called into work that day. I could not go to work. Um, I remember crying, um, praying. I would have worship music playing in the living room, and I would just be on my face. I was reading. I was literally begging God. I said, I was like, I know you're trying to tell me something. Could you just tell me? I'm very impatient.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Um, you didn't have to agree.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Um, but I'm very impatient.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

I was agreeing because I'm also impatient. Yeah. I was saying that for myself.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

It's kind of odd that we even get along. But we do.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Um, I I was just begging God. I was like, please just tell me what you're trying to tell me. Like, I'm in agony today. I know you want to tell me something. And he was like, No, I just want you to rest in my spirit today. So I did, but I I did reach out to a spiritual mother of mine and I just said, Hey, this is what's going on. And she said, Have you had a dream lately? And I said, No, I, you know, I don't really dream that much. And she said, Well, ask God to give you a dream. He speaks to us in dreams. And I said, Okay. And and she interprets dreams. God has given her that gift. And so I said, Okay. So I did. I prayed that God would give me a dream, and he did that night. I woke up the next morning and I was so excited. I was like, oh my gosh, he gave me a dream. And I could not wait to call her and tell her about this dream. And um, so I, in the dream, I am on a bus, like a school bus, um, let down windows and everything. Only the inside of the bus was completely white. The walls, the windows, the seats, the floor, everything is white now. And it's just like the inside of a school bus. Um, and I was on this bus, and there were four or five other people on the bus with me, but they didn't have faces. And I could tell that these people were very close to me, but I didn't know if they were family or if they were my inner circle, but I could tell they were people I was very familiar and very comfortable with. And there were watches hanging all on the bus. And all of these details are really important. And I'll tie it all together later. But and I didn't know at the time. Yeah. The dream seemed weird to me at the time. I was like, what in the world does this even mean? And now we have Chat GBT, we just throw it in there and say, give me, tell me what this means.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

But yeah, I interpret our vision from the Lord.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Maybe not. Um, but all these watches, and I'm talking about like 1990 watches. I'm talking about like those kind of watches, not smart watches, not Apple watches. I'm talking about like go back to 1990 and the watches we were we were wearing then. But they were all these bright primary colors, basically. And um we were looking for something. We were on the bus looking for something. We weren't frantic, we weren't in a hurry. It was a it was a light, happy mood, but we were on the bus and we just kept looking for something. We were looking under the seats, we were looking in other seats, we would go to the front, to the back, we were we were looking for something. And the bus was parked in the parking lot of a coliseum, like the Mississippi Gulf Coast Coliseum or the Jackson Coliseum where the state fairgrounds are. That's what it looked like, like that circular coliseum. And the bus was parked in the parking lot of that coliseum. And like I said, we were looking for something. Um, and and that was the dream. And she asked me, she said, um, she said, well, I want to pray about the people with no faces. I don't really, I don't, the Lord's not really speaking to me about that right now. But what were the were their primary, was there a color that was more dominant than others of the watches? And I said, Yes, red and yellow were more of the the dominant colors. Now yellow is my favorite color, so that's probably why yellow was. But she said, well, red means anointed and leadership. And I said, Huh, okay. And um, and she said, I see, you know, while you were telling me that dream, I see you on a platform of some sort. Then I said, Okay, and she said, I see you speaking, but that I want to pray about the rest of it. I said, Okay, that that's fine. And so that was in April of 2016. So I began to then just dive into the word and really, really get serious about my spiritual growth. Um, and that's about the time that we were introduced to Center Point. I it was either December of that year or the next year that we began going to Center Point because we've been there almost 10 years now. And so that and that really helped me in beginning to build my relationship and really get serious about getting into the word. Um, so then fast forward until um December of 2022. I can't do math. I don't know how many years that is at this point. Um, but all the way to December of 22, and a lot happened in our lives, um, good and bad, during that time, a lot of challenges, a lot of opportunities to grow spiritually and to that sanctification process. Um, but in December of 22, I made the decision to drive to South Haven and spend the weekend with my very best friend, who now we have been best friends for almost, I don't know, I think we're 38 or 39 years.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

And um, but I'm still 25. And so December of 22, I decided to go spend the weekend with her. And she said, Will you stay and go to church with me on Sunday instead of driving back? And I said, Sure, I'll go to church with you. And they had started going to a new church plant. They were still meeting in the pastor's home at this time, and um, so it was very intimate, very comfy, uh, very close-knit, which was really cool. And he he was uh preaching on Elijah and um in 1 Kings chapter 17, where God um told Elijah to tell King Ahab there was about to be a drought, and then he instructed Elijah to go to um to a destitute place, and he said, You will drink water from the river, and I will send ravens to feed you. And so Elijah went into hiding at that point, but um that and that's what he was preaching on. He was preaching on your miracle is in your need, which is a whole nother word, whole nother day, whole nother topic. But um at the end of the sermon, uh, and this this preacher is has the gift of prophecy, and uh, and Allison had um kind of for forewarned me. She's like, he may zone in on you. If the Holy Spirit's telling him something, he might zone in, don't be, don't be startled. And so I was prepared, but I, you know, I didn't think anything of it. And sure enough, at the end of the sermon, I could tell he would pause and he would stare at me, and then he would say some more stuff, and he would pause and he would stare at me, and I was like, I could feel it. The Holy Spirit just started preparing my heart. Yeah, and sure enough, he he looked at me and he said, You have a lot to say, and you need to open your mouth and say it.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

He said, There are people literally dying every day to hear what you have to say.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Wow. That's serious. You can't can't hear something like that and go, eh.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

I knew. Yeah, I knew this guy, he he is a perfect stranger to me, had met me for the first time that day. He knew Allison and I were best friends, but he didn't know anything else. He certainly didn't know the dream that I just told you that I had had years previous.

SPEAKER_05 31:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

So the Holy Spirit just begins ex just kind of explaining some stuff in my head that and it's all happening so fast, and I'm weeping. And I even verbally said out loud, I said, Don't say what you're about to say. And he continued to talk, and he said a lot of things that aren't pertinent to this talk today. But one of the the key takeaways that he said was um he said, the doors are locked, but you have the keys, of course. After I'm like, all right, God, where are the keys? How do I find them? Where are these locked doors? What's behind them? Why do I want to unlock them? Like I had all these questions for God, and people that know me just know that I'm that person. Like, I want to know the why behind it. I'm not questioning you, I just want to understand your rationale. Like, help me understand your perspective. And so now I'm I'm arguing with God about, well, where are the where are the doors? Where are the keys? How do I find them? So fast forward May of 23. Um, so that's from December to May. We decide that we're gonna take a group of ladies and we're gonna go back to South Haven and the and a group of ladies from that specific church. So we were gonna go to this um concert that was happening there in South Haven. And then the next day we were gonna spend Saturday morning with uh both church ladies group, and we were gonna spend time together in the Word and worship and just share and just have a precious time. And so we did. So we go up there and we we get hotels, we spend the night, we go to the concert. It was amazing, it was a great worship session. Um, it was um Natalie Grant, Tasha Cobb Leonard, um Taya, um, who's uh from I believe she originated from Hill Song, maybe. And um there was one other singer, Naomi Rain. And uh so powerhouse women, amazing concert. We had a great time. But Saturday mornings when we really had the sweet time with the Holy Spirit, where we were back in the pastor's home, both ladies' groups were together, we had brunch, we um uh one of the ladies got on, the pastor's wife got on the piano, we sang, we had worship time, and then um my best friend Allison brought a word that God had really been dealing with her and and and talking about self-worth and and being um deserving and and being able to do the things that God had called you to do. And so um some ladies then came back to Berkhaven and some of us stayed and went to church the next morning. By now, this church is meeting in a hotel room, um, like um conference room. And um, I don't remember what the sermon was about that day, but at the end he brought me back up and he he said a lot of things, and but he he he said um to the congregation, he said, Hey, y'all tell Stephanie the doors are unlocked. You just need to walk through them.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

He told them to tell you that.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yep. Wow. He said, Hey guys, can y'all tell Stephanie the doors are unlocked and she needs to walk through them? And of course I'm crying again and I'm I'm like, God, I don't, okay, I just just please tell me what it is. And of course, after Dag and I are having this conversation again, I'm like, okay, again, where are the doors? How did I unlock them? I don't even know what you're talking about at this point. And so, um, so that was May of 23. So in June, um, Beautifully Broken Ministries was born.

SPEAKER_05 34:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

God said, You have a testimony that others need to hear, and you need to be telling what I've done in your life. Because a lot of people don't know my testimony. They don't know what God has brought me out of, especially people that have met me after the fact. They just think that I have this perfect life and that everything's just, you know, together and and perfect, and I've never had any struggles and I've never had any challenges, and that Tess and I have been married. Test and I have been married forever, and we have these great children and whatever. That's not true. Yeah, that's not true. You know, struggles um have gotten us to where we are today. And so, um and then he also said, he being God, um, said, and you need to find other women that need to share their testimony. Beautifully broken ministries is about encouraging and inspiring other broken women that are going through things that they need encouragement, biblical sound encouragement from. And that that is what testimonies are for. And, you know, we our struggles are not for us. Our struggles are for others. Our struggles are to help bring others to Christ. Uh, Revelations 12, 11 says, we have overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. And I don't know about you, but when I hear other people's testimonies, even if it's not something I've ever experienced, I'm inspired when I leave. And I am encouraged and I am motivated and I'm energized to go do better or to go do something great or to go help someone else. And so Beautifully Broken Ministries started with God just saying, you need to share, and then you need to find other women to share. And so we do have a podcast, Beautifully Broken Ministries. It has not taken off like I hoped it would, but it has taken off the way God wanted it to. And I have to be, I have to be resolved in that. Um, and and but but in that, and uh just encouraging on social media with the things that God shows me in my quiet time and through struggles that I go through that I share. Um what I what I found is women will reach out. And that's another thing that the that he prophesied over. He said, God will bring them to you. You don't have to go find them, God will bring them to you. Yeah. Kind of like the ravens.

SPEAKER_03 37:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

You know, he he said, the ravens will feed you, they will come to you. He's uh the pastor said, God will bring the women to you. You don't need to go find them. God will bring them to you. And he has. We have helped women in addiction, all kinds of addictions. We've helped women um that were contemplating suicide. We've helped women get out of domestic violence situations and into safety. Um, we've been able to walk alongside women through just life struggles, electricity bill, rent, groceries. Now, we are not financially backed by any specific people. We have one person that that sews into us um as they can. It's not a on a consistent basis. And so we we were able to help financially uh with those things. We're not always able to help financially, but what God really has shown me in that other than sharing testimonies, we are to be a connector to resources. So we I have a great team of people that has worked alongside so many different people in so many different situations that we have a network of resources that we can connect you to in just about any situation. If you need help, we can get that for you. And we can get you to the right people that know how to handle the situation that you're in. So, so let me circle back. Talking about the doors are locked, you have the keys, um, now the doors are unlocked, you just need to walk through them. So, going back to the dream that God gave me in April, do you remember me telling you that there were four or five people on the bus that didn't have faces? And I felt like they were really, really close to me, but I didn't know if they were family or if they were my inner circle. What God showed me, um, which was really, really cool, he finally revealed to me that those people were different spiritual versions of myself.

SPEAKER_03 39:00

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

They were the locked doors, and I had the keys to unlock them the whole time. And it was it was about God preparing me for being able to unlock each spiritual promotion, each spiritual level within me. And that comes from spending time in the word and listening and growing and doing the hard things that we don't want to do and dying to self every single day. And then once all of the doors were unlocked and I just had to walk through them, what God said was, it's time to get off the bus.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

It's time to get off the bus and it's time for you to speak.

SPEAKER_01 39:41

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

And that was so profound to me that I was like, that's why those people felt so close to me.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

Was that something that you had struggled with in the past, like um being on a stage speaking? I mean, I know you sang your whole life, but was speaking ever in the cards for you uh when you were coming up? Did you ever think to yourself, this is what I'm gonna do one day?

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:05

Um, I sang for the very first time when I was two years old in the Greenwood or Greenville Civic Center with my my parents and grandparents' gospel group, the Calendar Family, and my grandfather and I had a song, he's still working on me. He would he would sing the first verse, I would sing the second verse, and we would sing that together at two years old, and that was just something that we did. So, no, the stage is not something I've ever feared. I think my fear, um, and I still have this fear, even even coming on here today, is that the devil will say, You don't know the word, you don't know, you know, Proverbs 16, 9, and you can't quote it um without looking at it. You're you you aren't qualified enough to to to speak about the word. That's what that's what the fear is, is is being called to a stage to speak about God's word and being fearful of not being able to recall a scripture or being able to recall where it is or to get the story just right or straight and that somebody's gonna come at you and say, Well, that's not really what the word said. But but I'm having to overcome those fears. But but no, being fearful of being on the stage is is not something that I've ever worried about.

SPEAKER_05 41:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

And sharing my testimony in the very beginning was hard because you have to be able to share the testimony from your story and be careful to not tell the other people's story that are involved because it's not your story to tell, but you have to tell enough of it for people to get the gist. And so being able to craft that story as just mine and not spilling other people's testimony um is a craft. And that took some that took some time as well. Um, so that is how beautifully broken uh ministries came to be, and God is still molding what that looks like and how how what he does with it, I'm I'm here for, even if it continues to just be this little old podcast that maybe somebody runs across and it helps them. Um that that's what it's about.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

It's not just that though, right? I mean, you guys had a conference last year for the first time, the first the first conference. Well, I've I've been told that it's not called first annual, it's called inaugural. I've been corrected on that multiple times.

SPEAKER_04 42:15

Yes, we have.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

Uh so okay, so tell me how that went, first of all, and then are you guys planning on doing it again?

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Yes, so that was a vision that my best friend had. So she and I, we co-founded this together, and I I forgot to mention that. While God gave me the dream, he also said she's supposed to come alongside with you in this. And and she prayed about it for a while and and finally agreed, yes, this is something we we're supposed to be doing together. And so she called me in January of last year and said, Hey, God is showing me, and God gives her visions. God doesn't give me visions like that, but she she will get visions. And um, she said, God's showing me a conference, beautifully broken supposed to do a conference, and God had showed her who some of the speakers were supposed to be, showed her specifically who the worship was supposed to be, um, even the place. And she didn't tell me all of that in the very beginning. God confirmed that with me coming back to her and saying, Okay, well, what do you think about this? And what about having it here? And she said, God had already told me all of that.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

And so it was confirmation. It took me a while to come along because I was like, there's no way we can pull this off. It's January. And those of you that know me and and have watched me plan events, um, which I've done a lot of, you know that I start at way out.

SPEAKER_03 43:32

Right.

SPEAKER_02 43:33

And and I feel like you have to start way out to be prepared. And so, you know, it's January. We're talking about a June conference, and I'm freaking out. But God did it, He brought the right team alongside. I had people again coming saying, How can I help? Yeah, God said, I will bring them to you. I will bring them to you, and He's done it in every situation, and so so anyway, we we pull it all together very, very quickly with God. Help and we wound up having a hundred women. We sold out. I knew there were gonna be a hundred seats, and with the team, it was like 112, 115. But I knew that we had about a hundred seats. We sold out two weeks prior to the conference. We had people on a waiting list that said, Oh my gosh, I didn't get a ticket. Um, you know, what do I do? And I said, Well, I can put you on the waiting list. Um, and it really was I I still have people come to me and say what God did in their life through that conference. And it was totally God. It was we were just being obedient, literally just being obedient to what God called us to do. And so as soon as it was over, we were like, Yeah, we're doing another one. We're doing another one to the point that as soon as we got done tearing down, or maybe it was right after we set up, I can't remember, that's not important, but it was within one of those two days, we went ahead and made a video, a TikTok video of save the date for next year.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

With no plans, no theme, no idea of how it would happen, where it would happen, how the resources would come to be. But we felt strongly enough that the Holy Spirit said, You're supposed to do this again.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 45:10

So, yes, um, we began in October. The team began praying and and asking God to show us what we needed to do in October of um last year. And we had an early bird special. Uh, it'll be in June. It's it seems like June, the last weekend of June is when we will always do this. And so it'll be the last weekend in June. And um, we uh did an early bird special uh in the whole month of February. We sold 60 tickets. 60 tickets. Yes, and we have 200 seats. So we God provided a bigger venue, um, provided, provided, a bigger venue, um, so that we can have we can witness to more to more women. And the the theme of this year is unlocked keys to spiritual awakening.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

Gee, I wonder where that came from.

SPEAKER_02 46:05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

June the 20th, I've got it on my calendar because spoiler alert, I'm gonna be there. No, I'm not a woman. I know, uh, but I'm helping with some of the music to the 26th and 27th, right?

SPEAKER_02 46:17

26th and 27th, and you're not helping with some of the music. You are in charge of the music. Right. Don't get that twisted. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Um she's she's saying that so uh so that I'll get on the ball.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

Yeah, because yeah, yeah. I I think I asked you last week if you'd listened to the songs I sent. You said, Yeah, not yet, but I will.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

Oh yeah, don't worry about it. We got it.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Don't worry about it. Yes. So we're we're really excited about that, and we're I'm about to kick off in April a series of podcasts and and short videos of of keys and what that means. And um, Matthew 16, 19 is the scripture base for the for the um conference and talking about, you know, that we we have the keys to the kingdom. You know, God, God was God gave Jesus the keys to the kingdom, and Jesus has given those to us through the Holy Spirit. We just need to walk in that authority and being able to understand kind of, I mean, basically what I've just said, where are the keys? Where are the doors? How do I get them? Well, this is how you get them. This is this is how you get them, this is how you find them, and this is how you walk through the the the locked doors that God has for you so that you can live out the purpose that God has given to you, and that's what this conference is about.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

And I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

I think that that right there will preach all day long because how many how often do we try and rely upon our own understanding for things? All the time has given us right here. Has given us the roadmap right there.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

The keys are right here.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

And I can tell you, my wife went to the conference last year, and I can tell you that she had an absolutely incredible encounter with God.

SPEAKER_02 47:46

And um that's all we want.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

Yeah, and I I'm super excited for what the Lord's doing in y'all's ministry. I'm super excited to in some small way be a part of it. Um, but I want you to tell us some information as to how people can first of all tell us how to find the podcast. Is it on your normal podcast uh platforms, Apple and all that?

SPEAKER_02 48:05

It is, it's on Apple, YouTube, and Spotify. Okay, and um, and then we try to also let you know on Facebook uh that it's there uh for you to go and listen as well.

SPEAKER_03 48:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:16

Um so and it's beautifully broken ministries, simple. Um, you should be able to find it that way. Um if you can't reach out to us on Facebook or Instagram or TikTok um and let us know. We'll be glad to to help you with that.

SPEAKER_01 48:28

Tell us how to get uh how to sign up for the conference if we want to come.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

So if you go to beautifullybroken ministriesms.com, so beautifullybroken ministries ms for mississippi.com, um, right there on the the home page, the top header is a countdown to the conference and it says more information. And I gotta give a shout out um to uh Miss Kayla Walker. She's a part of our team, she's an amazing human being, and she has really been helpful with um the graphics for the conference this year. She helped get the website set up and going while I was working on other stuff, and I'm just so grateful that God has brought her alongside as well as the others on the team to do that. So she's done an amazing job with the visuals for the conference. But if you click on that more information, it takes you straight to the page to be able to purchase that ticket. Um the conference tickets are $60, and that get it is Friday night and Saturday that gets you snacks on Friday night, um, a continental breakfast on Saturday morning, a hot lunch. I'm a hot lunch person. I cannot stand a box lunch.

SPEAKER_05 49:34

There you go.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

Hot lunch, which will actually, we partnered with the doll's house here in Burke Haven, Mississippi, and they're actually gonna cater because we wanted to be able to help another ministry. And so be sure to look them up. But we're gonna, they're gonna be giving us the hot lunch, and then we'll have snacks and drinks throughout the rest of the conference for you. You're gonna get a t-shirt, you're gonna get a swag bag, and you're gonna hear some amazing testimonies from amazing women, just everyday people that God is using. But we also have um uh Pastor Andrea Reed, who is from City Heart Church in Jackson, is gonna come and speak to us, to us. And we also are gonna have Pastor Lacia Wabity, um, who her and her husband run um care center ministries in Jackson. And they work with the homeless and the hungry and the needy and the on the streets of Jackson. And they also have a um recovery center as well as a church that they run. And she's gonna be sharing with us, and like I said, alongside with um some other beautiful women that God has a great testimony to share through them. So we're really excited, and we've been bathing this in prayer. We even have a prayer coordinator on the team, like that's her job. And um that we're really excited about what the Lord is going to do, and and we've been really praying for the women that God would have there.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

That's fantastic. We we will certainly be in prayer for that. Um, and uh June 26th, 27th, uh, you guys go and sign up for that conference. I can promise you it's going to be awesome. Uh I know the level of care that Stephanie puts into all the things that she touches, and it will it will be um it will be very well organized and very impactful for you. Uh Steph, thanks so much for coming on the show.

SPEAKER_02 51:16

Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_01 51:17

As our first female guest. I'm thankful for um thankful for your friendship, but I'm I'm more thankful for what God's done in your life.

SPEAKER_05 51:25

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 51:25

And I'm thankful for what he's continuing to do in your life.

SPEAKER_03 51:28

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

And uh it's just awesome to come alongside you in ministry and uh and work together in that capacity. Get to do it weekly, so that's really cool. It is um thank you. So thanks for coming on the show, and uh everybody go to all the links that we have in the description for uh Beautifully Broken and get your tickets and sign up for the uh subscribe to the podcast and all that good stuff. And uh, I think that's a great place to wrap it up right there for all of you guys out there watching. We love you guys. To Mr. Nick Smith sitting in the control room, love you, brother. Love you too, brother. Thanks for all y'all's support. Uh remember that if you'd like to financially support the show, we really appreciate that. That's uh not to get anybody rich around here, but just to make sure that we can continue to afford to do this. Uh, you can go to patreon.com slash tofer brown and you can find ways to support us there. Uh other than that, I want to say God bless you, and we'll see you next time.