Candy Hearts and Hard Truths

We read conversation hearts.
Then we talk main character energy.
Then we decide Lynda had to go.

This is an episode about outgrowing certain versions of yourself — R.I.P Lynda.

Chapters

• 0:00 Candy Hearts Cold Open
• 2:20 Sweethearts Vs Sweet Tarts
• 3:45 Snarky Slogans And Mixed Messages
• 4:50 Pivot To Main Characters
• 7:20 Favorite Leads: Lizzy, Buffy, Veronica
• 10:30 What Makes A Main Character
• 15:40 Action Heroes And Limits
• 19:00 Fear, Risk, And Growing Up
• 24:00 Main Character Energy Explained
• 28:20 Writing The Story You Want
• 33:00 Versions Of Self: Linda And Barbara
• 39:20 Killing Off Old Selves
• 44:00 Highlander Philosophy And Agency
• 49:30 Finding Your Own Archetype

Transcript

Candy Hearts Cold Open

Kelly 0:00

Did you just say anything?

Kristin 0:02

No, these are um [mine's just a heart in the middle of a heart.] Mine's just a thumbs up emoji. It's like really bad one.

Kelly 0:09

Are these emoji? Are they like emojis?

Kristin 0:14

Yeah, and this one's just like the I love you sign.

Kelly 0:17

They have they have words on them.

Kristin 0:19

Mine didn't have words on them. So these are actually called conversation hearts.

Kelly 0:25

What did you expect?

Kristin 0:26

I didn't know that they had like a name. I just thought they were like hearts. They were like the candy hearts. The candy hearts.

Kelly 0:32

But there's lots of candy in the shape of hearts.

Kristin 0:35

Is there the like what else?

Kelly 0:37

Go to the store right now and you will see an aisle full of candy.

Kristin 0:41

It's because of Valentine's Day.

Kelly 1:04

I have a whole box of fucking duds.

Kristin 1:07

This one says peace.

Kelly 1:09

What the head does that have to do with anything? I mean. This one says only you.

Kristin 1:17

Aww. This one says forever. Oh look, there's they have them on the back too. It says always. Forever, always. Isn't it?

Kelly 1:24

Oh, mine has a little heart face.

Kristin 1:26

But isn't forever just another way to say always? I probably shouldn't just crunch in the microphone.

Kelly 1:34

Yeah, that's kind of gross. You don't need to eat them. You're gonna end up with a sugar high.

Kristin 1:39

Probably. This one says live and laugh. Too bad it doesn't have a third side. It could say love.

Kelly 1:44

This one says it's like the ghost of a word. I use. These are like one of these fucking 60 years old. What is that mold? What's happening there?

Kristin 1:56

Um, it says awesome.

Kelly 1:58

No, it doesn't.

Kristin 1:59

It does. It says A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Awesome.

Kelly 2:04

Oh, you are rad.

Kristin 2:05

I am rad. This one says yes.

Kelly 2:08

This one says my bag.

Kristin 2:11

It says my bad.

Kelly 2:12

No, it's my bag.

Kristin 2:13

No, it's my bad.

Kelly 2:14

No, it's my bag.

Kristin 2:16

No. Well, I mean, I think it's supposed to be my bad.

Sweethearts Vs Sweet Tarts

Kelly 2:18

What's what why is my bad better than my bag?

Kristin 2:23

Because at least that's something you would say to someone else. You're not gonna be like

Kelly 2:26

You're my bag. You're my bag. That's a saying.

Kristin 2:30

You're my bag.

Kelly 2:31

You're my bag.

Kristin 2:32

Of what?

Kelly 2:33

Of candy.

Kristin 2:34

When's the last time you called somebody your bag? This one says kiss me.

Kelly 2:40

Dig you.

Kristin 2:40

I would I would like if somebody gave me that one, I would I would like that one. Like if somebody like

Kelly 2:44

dig you?

Kristin 2:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. [Why?] Yeah. Because I think [dig you.] Yeah, I think it's cool. I don't know. I think it's cute. Like out of all those, I would rather have somebody be like, I dig you than you're my bag.

Kelly 2:57

You're my oh, I'm thinking cup of tea.

Kristin 3:01

So what you're saying is people don't actually call each other bags.

Kelly 3:05

I don't know. Nice moob.

Kristin 3:08

I'd rather it's nice boob. [Night.] Nice.

Kelly 3:13

Nice what though? [Nice.] Moob.

Kristin 3:16

Me? Bite me. Bite me.

Kelly 3:18

Oh, bite me. Buzz off. These are kind of harsh, Valent. They are. [Yeah, no.] Bite me. Buzz off.

Kristin 3:26

Yeah. See, mine are cuter. Mine are like yes please.

Kelly 3:30

Well, you you have the sweet tarts one. This is the these are the traditional ones.

Kristin 3:33

Look how cute this one is. It says yes please on one side, and then it has a little winky face.

Kelly 3:38

Oh, I thought you said a little winky.

Snarky Slogans And Mixed Messages

Kristin 3:41

No, we didn't get we did not get them from that store. Main character energy. Are we are we ready to go into that?

Kelly 3:53

Yeah, I think I think so. But I don't know if I'd call it energy or just main characters.

Kristin 4:00

Oh, so you want to talk about actual characters and like different but [we can.] Or or anything, anything main character.

Kelly 4:07

What does main character mean to you?

Kristin 4:09

Um I mean it depends on the context.

Kelly 4:11

Well, give me what give me one.

Kristin 4:13

The context like I mean, like main character is obviously somebody who is the main character of [their own story.] Well, yeah, well, I mean of the story. Their story, your story, my story. Like like the main character will change depending on what story you're telling. But obviously they're the focal point of the story.

Kelly 4:33

It's a very basic explanation of main characters.

Kristin 4:36

You asked. I answered.

Kelly 4:39

Who's been your favorite main character?

Kristin 4:41

Again, though, in what? In a book, in a movie, [in a whatever] favorite romantic movie. Yeah, but you have to- I mean we have to narrow it.

Kelly 4:48

Why?

Pivot To Main Characters

Kristin 4:49

Because I could because A, you're giving me too much to choose from.

Kelly 4:53

So ask me.

Kristin 4:54

Okay, who's your main, who's your main character? Well, why do I just say it then? Why am I asking? Yeah.

Kelly 5:03

Because I want to be asked. I want to be asked at the dance. I don't just want to go.

Kristin 5:13

Do you know I always just went to dances? I don't think I ever went to one dance with anybody.

Kelly 5:18

I went to prom with somebody.

Kristin 5:19

Did you? That green dress that looked like drapery.

Kelly 5:23

No, that wasn't my prom dress. That was homecoming freshman year.

Kristin 5:27

The green dress?

Kelly 5:28

Yeah, that was homecoming. Freshman year. My favorite main character, I want to say is Elizabeth Bennett, because that's just what comes to my mind. But if I'm going to dig deeper than that, my favorite main character is. [I told you, you gotta narrow it down.] Why? I can keep thinking. I can think I have plenty of time. We have plenty of time. We have nothing but time. I can sit here and I can think and I can run through all the characters. You know who else I like is Buffy.

Kristin 6:02

The vampire slayer.

Kelly 6:03

But the Sarah Michelle Geller vampire slayer. The other one's fine, but it's [I liked the movie.] I didn't not like the movie. I'm just saying if her if I'm like thinking about main characters, yeah. Buffy.

Kristin 6:19

She's a good main character.

Kelly 6:20

I'm re-watching Veronica Mars, and I like her as a main character.

Kristin 6:24

She is also another good main character.

Kelly 6:27

Do you want to know why?

Kristin 6:28

Why?

Kelly 6:29

I don't know.

Kristin 6:31

Well, wait, do you do you seriously not know why you like them?

Kelly 6:34

No, I was actually I was thinking that I should know why. I feel like all three of those people, well Elizabeth Bennett aside, well, maybe not, I don't know. But I I guess I don't feel like they're in it for themselves. Like they have a strong sense of self, but they're not in it for themselves. And I guess that would apply to all three of them.

Kristin 6:58

I mean, I would say less so, Elizabeth Bennett, only because the story is a romantic love story.

Kelly 7:05

I don't think she's in it for herself. In this she's the main character of the story, but I don't know. Her motivations are not self-serving in the majority of that book.

Favorite Leads: Lizzy, Buffy, Veronica

Kristin 7:17

Yeah, well, I think we should keep going on your main characters.

Kelly 7:21

You want me to keep talking about them?

Kristin 7:24

Yeah.

Kelly 7:26

Just talk. Just talk.

Kristin 7:31

Well, okay, but why why is Sarah Michelle Gallers Buffy and not the original movie Buffy? Just because you had more time with her?

Kelly 7:41

No, I do think they're different characters. I don't remember the original movie Buffy all that well, so I might be speaking from a colored memory. Like the the hints of the ghost of that character that I have in my mind, because I've probably only watched that movie once or twice, is that she's like a little flat, a little a little like action movie flat. She's a little like edgy in like a in like a caricature way.

Kristin 8:17

No, I I believe they had a training montage. I'm pretty sure there was a training montage in the movie.

Kelly 8:23

They had a training. They probably did.

Kristin 8:27

She was kick-ass. I thought she was kick-ass. She's one of the first movies that I remember being like I'll be a rewatch. I would if I yeah, I would. I would totally rewatch it. Also another good movie.

Kelly 8:40

See, I can do it. You can do it too.

Kristin 8:44

My favorite character main characters. Like you would think that it would be easy for me because I'm a huge reader and movie fan and whatever, not that you're not, but I I don't know. It's it's like when someone asks you what your favorite movie is. It's a really hard question for me because I'm like I'm like, what genre? You know.

Kelly 9:06

Why you need to know that?

Kristin 9:07

Because like there's so many.

Kelly 9:09

Romance. [Um] you can just say whatever, like like those three people are not my favorite characters.

Kristin 9:18

It's not it's not even that. It's that my mind like literally just goes blank.

Kelly 9:23

Because you don't want to make a decision.

Kristin 9:24

Probably, not because you don't have like I'm learning something about myself right now in this moment.

Kelly 9:31

Just pick one, pick anyone, just say a name, say any name.

Kristin 9:34

Uh but like literally blank. Like, I

Kelly 9:37

I gotta no, you're not blank, you're not blank. You can do this. You read and you watch things all the time.

Kristin 9:43

I know. What did we what's recent?

Kelly 9:47

You're just gonna pick the last thing you watch.

Kristin 9:51

No.

Kelly 9:52

Jesus.

Kristin 9:54

No, I mean like the any it doesn't like man or woman, whatever. It doesn't matter, whatever. Whatever. Well, because I think I'll think of something like, no, that's not my favorite. Just say it. Say one, say one. Next thing that comes into your mind is just say it.

Kelly 10:11

Just say a name.

Kristin 10:14

I'm not.

What Makes A Main Character

Kelly 10:18

There are no stakes here. This is the low the lowest that stakes get. You can't just refuse. We literally, we literally set all this stuff up and turn this shit on. We can say things out of our mouth. Say a name. Say a name.

Kristin 10:43

Oh, I thought we were talking about main character energy. I didn't think we were talking about main character energy.

Kelly 10:47

You can say name, but no, I'm not. I'm like a dog with a bone. Just say a name. You can't say no.

Kristin 10:58

Um Emma.

Kelly 11:01

Okay. I think that's all I needed. G reat.

Kristin 11:05

She's the one with Mr. Knightly, right?

Kelly 11:07

No. Yes. Yes.

Kristin 11:09

Then Emma. She was such a troublemaker. Like a good-hearted troublemaker. [Yes.] I love that kind of character.

Kelly 11:16

Well, see, there you go. What do you like about that kind of character?

Kristin 11:19

I'm not devoid of like I have thoughts. I just like picking like a character out of thin air is hard for me.

Kelly 11:27

But what about her as a main character?

Kristin 11:30

Like I said, she's a troublemaker. She's rebellious in her own way.

Kelly 11:34

You like rebels.

Kristin 11:35

Mm-hmm. Princess Leia. I do like Princess Leia. Especially when she sneaks in and saves

Kelly 11:42

everybody.

Kristin 11:43

Basically. Yeah. Yeah. No, I do I do like Rebel. I I like but fun rebel. Not like not like

Kelly 11:51

without a cause.

Kristin 11:52

Yes, not without a cause. But like like good-hearted hi jinx. You know, okay. So I like the first one. Like is like like is about as as far as it goes with me, but John Wick.

Kelly 12:08

In life?

Kristin 12:10

No, no, no. I I only like John Wick. I don't love it. I didn't need any of the other movies. I understand it's unpopular opinion.

Kelly 12:17

People like the those movie?

Kristin 12:20

Yeah.

Kelly 12:20

Oh. They're too action-y for me.

Kristin 12:23

I like a good action movie.

Kelly 12:25

I like a decent action movie.

Kristin 12:28

What what's a decent action movie? Like what's decently action?

Kelly 12:31

Diehard. It's a decent amount of action. [Okay.] I don't like aggressive amounts of action. Like adrenaline pumping, like Crank. Mm-mm.

Kristin 12:42

We walked out of Crank.

Kelly 12:43

We walked out. That's one of the only movies I've ever walked out of.

Kristin 12:46

Oh, I walked out of that one. [Too much for me.] I walked out of crank, and the only other movie I've ever walked out on was um the superheroes, sad sack superheroes. The guy that was like the blue and giant and like their their comic books or whatever.

Kelly 13:01

Naked for no reason. What the hell was that? The night that was like out of the middle of the night or something. I don't know. Night shifters.

Kristin 13:08

The night that never had to exist. Like they were just all sad. They were just sad. That movie. We'll think of it when we have our phones back. Yeah, that those two, I think those are the only two movies I've ever walked out of. I did make dad leave the theater on the first Batman though, because I got scared. But I blame that on him for taking a kindergartner to see Batman.

Kelly 13:30

I made him walk out of E.T. [I never understood why you were scared of E.T.] I never walked back into E.T. I because I'm scared of a lot of things. I live with fear. Fear's a big driver for me.

Kristin 13:42

Fear can be a big driver for a lot of people, but I mean, like, a healthy amount of fear, I think, is in its name healthy.

Kelly 13:49

But I'm not afraid of like, I'm not like fight or flight. And honestly, fight or flight, I'm fight all the way. Like I don't run from things. I run, I will like fight my way out of something.

Kristin 14:01

But do you think that's why you're so fearful? Because you fight your way through it?

Kelly 14:05

No, because I'm I'm I'm afraid of irrational things, but I am not afraid of rational things. Like if I should be afraid in a situation, I'm just like, nah, let's go through this thing. Like let's we're we're going through the wall. But if it's like frogs, roller coaster, teacups, you know, I'm I'm out. I'm afraid. I will watch videos of the teacups online to see how fast they can possibly spin before I will get on teacups.

Kristin 14:37

But see, okay, roller coasters though. I have a threshold. I have a threshold. Disney roller coasters? I'll go on. Because it's Disney. I believe that they have ride mechanics that actually have like advanced level degrees in engineering. Country fair in the Walmart parking lot? I'm not going on those rides. I did once and I cried. It was bad. I kept yelling at the guy to shut it down because I just kept seeing all the screws that would just pop loose because who knows who put this together. I'm not I'm not a big like I have a threshold of fear. Like I'm not fearful at Disney.

Kelly 15:10

But you're [I am] you are less fearful of irrational things than me. Like you'll go fast. You'll do things like that.

Kristin 15:18

Sometimes.

Kelly 15:19

Which has been nice because then I can just get you to go do a thing.

Kristin 15:23

Do you remember when you rented scooters on one of the islands in the San Juans up in Washington?

Kelly 15:31

Yeah.

Kristin 15:31

And you got on a scooter and you went up the hill and they had to make sure that you could come up and down the hill. Remember, you got up it, but you wouldn't come down it.

Action Heroes And Limits

Kelly 15:38

I didn't even learn how to ride a bike until I was 15 years old. I don't like to strap myself to wheels and go anywhere.

Kristin 15:45

I don't know if that's irrational though.

Kelly 15:47

I t's not that fearful. You're rational, but it's not something you need to be afraid of.

Kristin 15:53

I mean like going fast.

Kelly 15:55

A bicycle is not that fast. No. I also don't like falling. I have a fear of falling.

Kristin 16:00

You know, I think the the well, I obviously the I didn't when I was a a kid, because like you said, I like to go fast on things. But now that I'm older, I have a fear of falling or getting hurt. I just said getting hurt.

Kelly 16:16

Like just gonna pop off.

Kristin 16:19

Well, I don't lay up in bed and think about it at night. I'm just saying that like you said you have like do you do you sit up in bed at night and think about falling?

Kelly 16:27

Yeah, sometimes I'll dream that I fell.

Kristin 16:30

I didn't ask that. Those are dreams. I said, do you just sit there and think about falling?

Kelly 16:33

Well, no, I'm laying down.

Kristin 16:35

Okay, well then I don't I don't think about getting hurt unless I'm in I'm I'm actively put myself in the situation that's.

Kelly 16:42

But what are you actively doing to get hurt?

Kristin 16:44

No, but what it I get but the point of it was is that I don't go as fast anymore on stuff. I don't do as much daredevil stuff because I don't want to get hurt.

Kelly 16:53

Oh you never did that.

Kristin 16:55

No, but I mean you're asking, what would I do to get?

Kelly 16:57

Would you go rollerblading again?

Kristin 16:59

Yes, but I would probably actually wear like like protective pads.

Kelly 17:04

I mean a protective pad's not gonna protect you for something popping off.

Kristin 17:09

Well, that's not that's one that's one part of the fear. You could also

Kelly 17:15

The knee pads aren't gonna protect your ACL from [protect your knee.] It could from skinning. [Or breaking, or pulling.] It couldn't actually protect it from any of those things. [No, probably not] just skinning. [Probably.] Yeah.

Kristin 17:32

I'd still wear them though.

Kelly 17:35

So main character energy. What's the difference between that and main character?

Kristin 17:40

Well, I mean, I I don't know. I I thought we were talking about like I thought we were going to talk about a like being or feeling like a main character in your own life, arranging your life in such a way that makes you feel like a main character within it, you know, or the flip side of that, which is not feeling like a main character in your own life.

Kelly 18:03

What does that even mean?

Kristin 18:05

Main character in your life?

Kelly 18:06

Not feeling like a main character. Who else is there? Who who else is around that is gonna be more of a character in your life than you?

Kristin 18:14

I think, you know, like yes, if I'm sitting on the couch by myself watching Buffy, then yes, I am the main character of offering.

Kelly 18:23

I would argue that Buffy is the main character at that moment. [There you go.] But when when are you not the main character in your own life?

Kristin 18:34

I mean, I've I've I've to me like main character energy in your own life is you're doing something. You're doing for yourself. You're doing

Kelly 18:42

what needs to get done?

Kristin 18:44

No, but you're you are doing. You are doing for yourself.

Kelly 18:48

But you what do you do but but do? What do you do but do? Do you do people not do? Do they

Kristin 18:54

there's a lot of people who do for other people. You do for your partners, you do for your significant things.

Fear, Risk, And Growing Up

Kelly 18:58

But isn't that you still doing?

Kristin 19:00

I would argue, but not as a main character.

Kelly 19:03

I'm very confused by this entire Okay, think of the I have been confused by this for a while. Right?

Kristin 19:09

Think of the hero's journey of a main character. [Joseph Campbell.] Sure, yes. The hero goes on a journey.

Kelly 19:20

This is a great explanation.

Kristin 19:21

Well, I don't know if you want me to I don't need to walk you through it. If the journey is not your own and the destination is not for you, I would argue that it is not you're not being a main character.

Kelly 19:33

But the three main characters I named specifically because it wasn't about them. They didn't have to be a couple of things. I'm not saying their motives got them. I'm not saying that, like they they they got the call, right? They lived this mundane life or whatever. They, for whatever reasons, whatever, if they wanted to be altruistic, that's cool. If it wants to be for just yourself, that's cool, but they still answered the call. But but isn't supporting people a call?

Kristin 20:02

I mean, it it could be.

Kelly 20:04

Like, was Mother Teresa not a main character?

Kristin 20:07

If if Mother Teresa did what she did, she what that that is her story. Like those big acts of of heroism and and and altruism, uh you're doing it because you want to.

Kelly 20:20

So even taking care of family and all of those-

Kristin 20:23

I'm saying that you should never take care of family.

Kelly 20:25

No, I'm I I'm more arguing at the point that I really don't understand main character energy as a like as a a thing that we need to say. I don't get it. I don't get how you how anyone could not be the main character in their own story because it's their story.

Kristin 20:47

Making making your life about you and that and that doesn't have to be selfishly. But I like I I think it's okay to be selfish. Like, like I'll just put that out there. I think it is okay to be selfish in your life. [Oh yeah.] Because I I think if you're not, that's when things can go that's when you can wake up ten years down the road and go, what the hell did I just do for all these years?

Kelly 21:15

I'm still trying to understand it. Truly. Truly I'm trying to understand it.

Kristin 21:24

Okay, but like what what is the hard part that's catching you up? Like what what don't you?

Kelly 21:31

I don't know how you couldn't be a main character in your own life. I really, truly don't understand it.

Kristin 21:39

Okay, I I don't I don't know if it's so much you're not the main character of your own life. I think it's are you are you crafting and creating the life you want to be a main character of?

Kelly 21:52

So are you writing the story that you want to read?

Kristin 21:56

Exactly. Is it your story? Is it the story you want to tell?

Kelly 22:00

Ooh, I like this better. I like this better. I don't think that's how anyone thinks about it.

Kristin 22:05

Oh really? Because that's I thought that's how I've been describing it the whole time.

Kelly 22:09

But I like that. I like that explanation. Like, are you crafting the story you want to read that you want to be a main character of? Because that I can see people not doing. I can see people making decisions out of fear or comfort or other reasons. Some of them might need to be made, some of them might not need to be made, but like you put yourself on a path that isn't the book you wanted to write.

Kristin 22:39

I don't know. I guess that's that's how I always thought of it. I I don't like it's I don't know what the internet's [I know nothing about the internet, so] me either. Yeah. So like I don't know what it is in pop culture. But to me, that's what main character energy is. Is like I guess when you're displaying main character energy, it's not about it's not about the other people in your life. It's about are you part of the story you want to be a part of?

Kelly 23:09

You know who my favorite main character is, actually?

Kristin 23:11

Who?

Kelly 23:12

I don't know the name of the show. [Okay, a good start.] But Kate, Kate Hudson. Was Kate Hudson in that basketball show where she's the owner of the team because her father dies? It's on Netflix. [I've never watched that.] Oh, it's so good. [Really?] Yeah. She's my favorite main character for sure. Remember when you said, remember when you said that if someone was gonna play me in a movie, it would be Kate Hudson, and I was thinking like she's blonde. So

Kristin 23:40

well, it's more than that.

Kelly 23:41

But then I watched her in that show and I was like, oh, I get it. I get why it would be Kate Hudson.

Kristin 23:49

Yeah.

Main Character Energy Explained

Kelly 23:50

I never really had that connection to her before, but I do now that I go back and look at all of her stuff, but especially that show. She's just doing it, you know, like in the show. [Yeah,] she's just shit's thrown at her and she's just dealing.

Kristin 24:07

Okay, I'll have to watch it. I've never watched that.

Kelly 24:08

It's a good show. I hope they come back with the

Kristin 24:10

I do have a girl crush on Kate Hudson though. I still can't believe that I can't come up with like a character.

Kelly 24:16

Yeah, Emma was Emma was weak sauce, but I can't.

Kristin 24:19

I know, but like there's tons, there's tons.

Kelly 24:20

There's tons of characters. You read all the time. [I know.] Keep thinking, by the end of this, maybe you'll come up with somebody. So back to being the main character, like writing the story you want to read.

Kristin 24:34

Uh-huh.

Kelly 24:35

Do you feel like you've done that?

Kristin 24:37

Up until now? [Yeah.] Absolutely not. But I I don't feel like I'm done yet, though. Like, I don't feel like my story is written.

Kelly 24:45

No, no, no. Your story's not written.

Kristin 24:47

I feel that like what's led up until this point in my life will like like a turning point.

Kelly 24:55

You're at a turning point?

Kristin 24:56

I'm at a turning point.

Kelly 24:58

And are you thinking about it through though that lens of writing the story that you want to read?

Kristin 25:05

Yeah, I would think so. Well, I because I think a

Kelly 25:08

is it a different book or is it the same book?

Kristin 25:11

I don't know if it could be a different book. Because I'm always in B. I mean, like, I am me.

Kelly 25:15

Is it a sequel? Is it a saga?

Kristin 25:18

God, I hope not.

Kelly 25:20

Um not all sagas are bad, right?

Kristin 25:22

No, but I to me saga implies drama. [Oh.] You know? I think of emotional upheaval when you when you say saga.

Kelly 25:32

So it's not a saga. [I hope not.] Is it a trilogy? That's what I meant. I meant trilogy.

Kristin 25:36

We'll call it a tome. Just a big, big ass book. No, no, I I I feel like I feel like you go through certain we'll call them chapters in your life and sure. Maybe you're you change. You you're you're constantly evolving evolving and changing. Um, but I'm always core, me.

Kelly 26:00

So who's who's Kristen, the character in the second half of the book?

Kristin 26:06

What do you mean who is she?

Kelly 26:07

Who is she?

Kristin 26:08

Me. [Yeah.] But like like like what in what way?

Kelly 26:11

What's your main character?

Kristin 26:13

I don't know. That's a really hard question. Like, well, I'll put that to you. Who's Kelly? And you're it's a hard question to answer.

Kelly 26:18

Kelly in the second part of her book is not quite indifferent from Kelly in the first part of her book. I was actually just talking about this with my coach. So there Kelly has been through three different iterations of Kelly. There's baby Kelly, there's middle Kelly, and then there's now Kelly. Baby Kelly and middle Kelly are way more alike than middle Kelly, who we both pretend didn't exist.

Kristin 26:47

So wait, wait, wait. Middle Kelly is like Baby Kelly and now Kelly got together and decided that middle Kelly didn't exist.

Kelly 26:54

Yeah, in fact, with with my coach, I was calling her Linda.

Kristin 27:00

So you felt you felt like it's so different that you had to give it a new name. Yes. You had to give her a new name.

Kelly 27:06

Yes.

Kristin 27:07

Okay, so why was Linda kicked out of the Kelly Club?

Kelly 27:10

Linda Linda wasn't writing her own story. Linda wasn't. So maybe I do understand this, and that this is a part that I just kind of close off when I was actually talking about this this week. Weird. But I don't I put I must pretend or put a wallop or something that I don't understand those things because I've pushed Linda away so far that I just don't like I don't associate with the I respect Linda for the things that she went through to get her to the point that I am currently. We are in fact the same person.

Kristin 27:54

So wait, when did you when did you kill off poor Linda?

Kelly 28:01

2010.

Writing The Story You Want

Kristin 28:03

Okay, you you kind of buried Linda in the backyard. No, no, no. I I have the same thing, but like I think mine are shorter periods, like there's a shorter period of time of like you know, roughly around that same time. I I think I became a Kristin that I'm no longer, but it was only a short period of being that

Kelly 28:27

you've been Krissie longer than you've been majority of your life.

Kristin 28:33

I've been the same, [yeah.] With stints of like, oh, I'm gonna try out let's call her Barbara and then I kill Barbara off real fast. So I'm like, Barbara didn't work out.

Kelly 28:47

No, but Linda, Linda was a

Kristin 28:49

Solid of 18 months for Barbara.

Kelly 28:50

Linda was a big chunk of my life. Now baby Kelly and I just pretend it doesn't exist.

Kristin 28:57

But I mean, I would I would like

Kelly 28:59

we thanked her and shoved her off the cliff.

Kristin 29:05

I think you have to do that though.

Kelly 29:07

You do, you do, you have to bury the Linda's in the back. You do,

Kristin 29:11

but I think you have to also be the Linda's for a while.

Kelly 29:14

Oh yeah. I don't did I don't begrudge Linda existing, but I don't have anything nice to say about her.

Kristin 29:25

I completely feel the same way. Like I said, I don't have smaller periods in my life where I think I was like, ooh. So like I think I had a strong sense of self, but when Barbara emerged, I felt like I was making decisions and being someone that I didn't that I didn't necessarily didn't drive, like that wasn't me. I wasn't doing things that like I would have I as as Kristin would have liked to do.

Kelly 29:55

I think that's rule number two of main character energy is a strong sense of self and knowing the things that you want to be doing and sticking to those things. I don't remember what rule number one is, but that's rule number two.

Kristin 30:14

We'll hear it when we play back.

Kelly 30:16

Oh yeah. We're recording this. So we'll we'll catch it on the flip side.

Kristin 30:24

I'm very thankful that I went through the barber of 18 months, but I'm also thankful that I had a strong backbone and and knew who I was because it it was very easy for me to go, oh wait, I don't like this version of myself. These aren't the people I would hang out with. This isn't the version of myself that I would be. I'm like, I don't feel bad letting any of this go. Ooh, Barbara. You gotta you gotta call Barbara.

Kelly 30:53

Like, did Barbara keep coming back, or do you have Barbara and Deb and Ronnie?

Kristin 31:00

I mean, you would probably be a better person to answer that than me because you were on the outside, but I think I had for me the one biggest one was Barbara, and she lasted, like I said, I'll call it 18. I'll give Barbara 24 months, but that's about as much as Barbara had of me.

Kelly 31:18

Yeah, I think it was probably less than two years.

Kristin 31:21

And then I was like, I clock Barbara in the head with a frying pan and drug her out back. But I feel like I I feel like you have to have the Lindas and the Barbara's to learn the lessons that you should learn. And then I think killing the Lindas and the Barbras is the learning of the lesson, right? It's like I learned that lesson and I'm not gonna repeat it. I'm done.

Kelly 31:41

Yes, you have to recognize them or you become them. [Right.] Which is also some fine. Maybe some people want to become Linda, and that's totally fine for them. I want nothing to do with my Linda.

Kristin 31:53

I I do know some people who I feel are stuck in their Linda's. [Oh, yeah.] You know? When it's like, if you could just just just push, just just give Linda a little push and just watch her.

Kelly 32:07

Well, you gotta step out of that body first because if you give Linda a push and you're still in there, you're going off the cliff.

Kristin 32:12

Well, I but if you're giving her a push, then you have stepped out, right? [Yeah.] If you're still in it, you're just walking away from the cliff at Linda.

Kelly 32:18

The first stage, though, is you have to step back and out, take a good hard look at who's standing in front of you, be like, is that the person who's gonna go forward with me?

Kristin 32:30

Then you give them one of them big old Spartan kicks.

Versions Of Self: Linda And Barbara

Kelly 32:36

Remember when you kicked in that door when the [bathroom door] bathroom was locked for like a week, and the roommate or the the landlord wouldn't come and fix it. And we were trying to like chisel out the doorknob, and finally we were like, watch out, watch out. And I was like, what are you gonna do? You're like, just watch out, and he chucked Norris'd the door open.

Kristin 33:11

No, I mean, I I think I think that's an but I also think that's a main character thing to do, though.

Kelly 33:16

Y es, that that is that is the the the root of main character energy is being like Linda you gonna stay here and we're all gonna keep going. Peace.

Kristin 33:33

Yeah. So wait, how long did you how long did Linda last? Like if she was like 2010, like when when did you become Linda?

Kelly 33:40

I feel like I was Linda twice. Okay. I was Linda in like high school,

Kristin 33:48

like after college?

Kelly 33:50

Yeah, like when after I left college the first time. I mean if anyone's listening to this, if anyone's out there, I dropped out of college and then I went back. And then I think I think we did the a dance for a little bit. Me and Linda were like in and I finally like Highlander. There can only be one. We had to like we had to fight it out, and I Linda lost. Killed her. Took her head. It was an epic battle. It was Gandalf and the ball rock. It was Duncan McLeod and pretty much everybody else. I battled Linda Richie. Ricky Richie.

Kristin 34:29

I think it was Richie.

Kelly 34:30

But oh, did he eventually have to take Richie's head, didn't he?

Kristin 34:32

Yeah, he did. Oh. He did. [Spoilers. But] for a 35-year-old show.

Kelly 34:40

It's a good show. I want to watch that again.

Kristin 34:42

Actually, yes, I would totally watch that again.

Kelly 34:44

Duncan McLeod is a good main character. [Yes.] Also not in it for himself, unless he is, in fact, taking someone else.

Kristin 34:51

Is kind of in it for himself. Like that's the whole point of the highlight.

Kelly 34:55

I guess maybe that is my quintessential main character. Me and Duncan.

Kristin 35:00

So you as Duncan?

Kelly 35:02

Yeah. Okay.

Kristin 35:03

Not you and Duncan, because Duncan would take your head.

Kelly 35:06

No. No. If you guys are the I don't know. If you were the latch show. Okay, so are we saying are we saying Duncan could take my head if I had sword training? If I had sword training?

Kristin 35:21

Because he was the Highlander. He was the Highlander. You as Duncan, now you are the Highlander. No, you and Duncan. No, but he is the Highlander.

Kelly 35:33

I'd be the Highlander.

Kristin 35:35

Because you just said you and him. It's him.

Kelly 35:39

Yeah, but but I wasn't in that story. So if I was inserted into the story and had sword training.

Kristin 35:46

You re-watch that show and you tell me.

Kelly 35:48

Okay, if I was immortal and had sword training, I could take Duncan McLeod. Um fact. I could take him. I could put up a good fight. Okay. We might go neck and neck, and then we might just decide, hey, maybe there's two.

Kristin 36:04

Maybe there's two. It's the whole thing that wouldn't be the Highlander.

Kelly 36:09

But who makes those rules? We can make our own rules.

Kristin 36:11

They have like a whole like committee of like watchers and people and stuff. Like those were the rules.

Kelly 36:16

So we'll take their heads. We'll band together and take all the. Everybody died.

Kristin 36:19

If if I'm pretty sure there was a consequence for not having for having more than one.

Kelly 36:24

I'm gonna watch it again. I think that I could take Duncan McLeod. If I had sword training. He was a good main character, though. And he was he was generous. He's a generous person.

Kristin 36:38

He's a nice guy.

Kelly 36:39

Yeah, he's a nice guy. When he wasn't taking people's heads.

Kristin 36:43

But I mean, you had to deserve it though. He waited. No. He waited to take he knew a lot of immortals that he didn't take their heads until later on when they he they had to.

Kelly 36:53

When they came for his head and when he had to. [Yeah.] That was Linda. Poor Linda. It had to happen.

Kristin 37:04

The hard one, because there's so many good ones.

Kelly 37:06

Oh my gosh, you just can't make a decision.

Kristin 37:07

No, I really can. Just hold on. You know who was a great main character? Dana Scully from X-Files. Jillian Anderson.

Kelly 37:23

Oh yeah, I yeah.

Kristin 37:25

I did love her. Like growing up. We watched X-Files religiously.

Kelly 37:30

Because she was a skeptic?

Kristin 37:32

She was a skeptic that believed.

Kelly 37:37

Or had the capacity to change her mind.

Kristin 37:40

Yes.

Kelly 37:41

I think that is something that is very important in being a main character.

Kristin 37:45

Yes. Like, yes, her her her job on the show was to be the skeptic to Molders. Like everything is out there. [Yeah.] Like that was her job on the show, but that's not really the role that she played.

Kelly 38:02

What role did she play?

Kristin 38:05

Like she she was there. She was the common sense. She's the barometer, right? Like she was the she was the common sense of the group. And you were like, oh, if if if Scully's in, I'm in, right? Like, you know, like if she if she believes it, I believe it. I don't know. She I she was a great main character. And she was like, she was strong.

Kelly 38:26

She was strong.

Kristin 38:28

And they gave her a dynamic role to play in that.

Kelly 38:33

That's a good one. There you go. See, you did it.

Kristin 38:36

I did do it.

Kelly 38:37

You did it.

Kristin 38:38

I had to look at a whole list of things that I was like, nah, none of these.