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Related AF
It started as two sisters talking out loud on the gym treadmills.
Related AF is where opinions get aired, ideas get poked, and nothing is rushed toward a takeaway. We talk culture, confidence, habits, nostalgia, and the everyday things that shouldn’t matter — but somehow do.
No advice.
No alignment.
Just thinking out loud.
Pull up a chair.
We’re already mid-argument.
Stay if you want.
Related AF
No One Told Us Relaxing Is A Skill.
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Open heart surgery, sound baths, mammogram trauma, nervous system healing, yoga grudges, and Kelly announces she may want to start doing pot.
So… a very normal episode of Related AF.
Bonk Banter And The Hiatus
KellyOh, are you in a bonk bonk? Rebe, you you didn't you got mad at me for bonking. Well, I'm gonna leave it open. Oh, okay. So it's only one bonk. Not bonk, bonk. It's not bonk bonk, it's just bonk. All right. Should we address our listeners? Absence. Our absence. Our our three listeners. Our three listeners. One of one of who is Evan. Evan, we see you. We don't actually see him. Our OG, our OG fan. Oh yeah, yeah. First one. Listen to every episode, I think. Thank you, Evan.
KristinSure, we can address. I mean, it kind of goes into what we were planning on talking about. Not that there's a plan. Like, okay, so I don't want anybody to think there's actually a plan, because there's never there is a plan. Like it's not that we don't think about it, but we never go for the plan. Yeah. It never, it never, the plan never actually happens, but there is, we do put time into it. They don't ever happen.
Mom’s Surgery And The Waiting Room
KristinBut our mother had open heart surgery.
KellyBig surgery. Still think I could do it, but it was big surgery.
KristinKelly could not have actually performed the open heart surgery. I think open heart surgeons who are out there listening to this, which is absolutely zero. But if there is one, we understand that you have skills beyond our comprehension. Oh, yeah. We don't have to qualify that. I can have dreams. You can. You could be the person who zip ties. Yeah.
KellyUntil we figured out that they weren't actually zip ties.
KristinNo, I know. That was super disappointing. When she just like yanked them off, I was like, oh my goodness.
KellyShe came home with a with a train track full of zip ties down her chest underneath a bandage that I thought for a month and a half were actual zip ties holding her together. They weren't. I don't know what they actually did, but they were not actually fully through her.
KristinI think they pinched the skin between because there was two pieces of plastic that that's where the zip ties were.
KellyAnd the zip ties were like holding the plastic together.
KristinYeah, I think the zip ties were holding the plastic together, which pinched the skin together because they the stitches are on the inside of the body. And then that's just glue.
KellyIt was a rather remarkable thing. It's remarkable what they can actually do. They can open you up and hook you to a machine that that basically bypasses all of your life functions, and they can like fuck around with your heart, and then they can put you back together in relatively not much time.
KristinIt was like what we were sitting there for like what five hours? Yeah.
KellyThey they they took us from the nice waiting room and they were like, You're gonna go into the ICU waiting room, the cardiac waiting room. And I thought we were getting an upgrade. I was like, ooh, VIP following the nurse to this other waiting room. It was like the janitor's closet that they had stuck all the mismatching chairs, all the mismatching random chairs in, and that's where we were hid the remote so that no one could hit on terrible TV because we were the first ones there, which I think is your right.
KristinI think if you're the first one in the ICU waiting room, then that's your right to like hide the remote.
KellyIt's your right to hide the remote. It is, yeah. You you get it because I did not want to watch Let's Make a Deal. The larger waiting room was so nice, it had booths and separate sections and vending machines and all kinds of stuff.
KristinThe ICU was a trip too.
ICU Reality And Care Teams
KellyI liked it.
KristinThe nurses were great, great, amazing nurses. It was I thought it was funny that mom got all male nurses, yes, like from start to finish. She had male nurses.
KellyThe lady at first was a female nurse.
KristinYes, yes, yes. Then that was the one that took the brunt of no Steven, poor Steven took the brunt. Steven was the overnight nurse, and and I Steven took the brunt of mom's of mom. Of mom's healing journey. You are a rock star wherever you are. But yeah, no, so that is the reason why we've been absent from this for so long, and also kind of the reason why everything has been on hold for trying to get this even further down the line. But sorry, Evan, if you're listening.
KellyYeah, he's the only one. Evan and some some some person in Virginia.
KristinI don't know if this person travels or if there is multiple people in Virginia. Shout out Virginia. But hopefully, now that we have been past that, that will be the biggest interruption that we experience for some time now. So, anyway, that's addressed. What did you want to talk about? Healing. Oh, healing. See, this is what I mean about no plan. You've known this. Yeah, I know, but this was your plan. This would you so so so what about healing? What okay, all right, start over. We're just if I could do the rewind noise, I would, but I can't.
SPEAKER_01You can't do it either. I never did a sound effect before ever. See what this is bringing out of me? Oh my gosh, I'm so see what this is bringing out of me. I just made a noise. That was pretty good.
Sound Bath Basics And First Reactions
KristinSpeaking of noise, before we get into this, actually, since you brought up the word noise, I want to talk briefly about the sound bath. That's healing. Okay, so then all right, let's let's step into healing with the sound bath. You've even got your little bracelet on. I do have my bracelet on.
KellyWhat color you got a purple bead. Yeah, what is it? Ooh, I wonder mine's a turquoise bead. I wonder what yours means. You can look it up.
KristinKelly convinced me to do a sound bath. And for those of you who don't know what a sound bath is, you lay on the floor on a yoga mat and you listen to noise and you meditate for an hour. And I was very confused. I'm still almost very confused about how I feel about the sound bath. It's a confusing. Yeah, you looked confused. I was very confused. You looked very relaxed, but very confused. I okay, it worked, right? Yeah, it did work. That works. I was relaxed. And you felt things. Yes. I I was very convinced that it works. It was also probably one of the hardest things. Okay. Yeah, no, it was one of the hardest things that I have done. Because after about 30 minutes, I was crawling out of my skin just by just sitting there. Not because of the sound bath, but just because of sitting.
KellyJust because of you sure it wasn't because of the sound bath and your your body's reaction to relaxing. No. Definitely not that.
KristinNo, it couldn't possibly be. It's I think it's I think it's it's more like um it's not possible. It's not possible.
SPEAKER_01No, that's not a possibility.
KristinIt's not no, I'm saying like I after like thinking about it, like coming home, like it was a very relax I was very relaxed after it was a very relaxing experience. But I think that like the last 20 minutes were very hard for me to stay there. It's hard to stay in the attention.
KellyAnd that has nothing to do with your body's reaction to relax. I was seeing visions and all kinds of things.
KristinSee, like I was I was super I was super relaxed for like like I said, the first 30 minutes. The last 30 minutes were a struggle bust for me. But I think it's my personality. I have a I have a hard time just sitting listening to noise. That's called relaxing. But I mean, like I can relax with the best of them though. Like I can spend all day in bed. I can I can not get out of bed for a whole rotting. I mean, I guess it depends on your mind frame, right? And there's the difference.
SPEAKER_01I walked right into that. It's rotting to some people is relaxing to others.
KellyI think you can rot and relax, or I think you can rot and continue to perpetuate anxiety and all of those other things too.
KristinI do relax.
KellyLike I do know how to relax. I don't just sit and know how to relax. I think the extended period of relaxing is what I'm talking about.
KristinWell, but I also think too, though, that it's not fair to kind of think that like meditating for an hour, that's hard work. It's hard work, that's what I'm saying. It's hard.
KellyYour mind at some point it wakes up. Yeah, it's like, no, I'm done now. And I think that journey of doing that longer and longer, yeah. I just the work.
KristinI don't I don't know if I'm ready for an hour. I'm saying it's like that's I think that's why I was confused. So it used like an intermission for the beginners to allow you to like leave or yeah, and like regather myself because once I hit the wall of meditating, I was back in that room and I could hear everybody's breathing. I could hear every shuffle, I could smell everything. I was I was hyper aware of everything that was in the room, and that's what was driving me crazy. Is like I can't just exist here. And then I kept telling myself, okay, just relax, just go back to where you were, just relax. And then that's what brings on the anxiety.
KellyIs like because you're trying to make yourself do something it doesn't want to dig the room.
KristinI couldn't get back into my headspace that I was in for the first 30 minutes. It was very nice. I was like in a forest, and there was like little sloths and monkeys jumping. You need to like reverse it. I literally think that my mind just hit a wall of medicine. No, I agree. And it was like, we're done medicine.
KellyI completely agree with what you're saying.
KristinI would do it again, especially now that I know what to expect and what to expect from myself, I think will be yeah, I think that's a big thing. Like, I don't think I'll want to scratch my skin off. 30 minutes would have been perfect. I would have been like, this is I would have been singing the praises of Soundbath if it would have ended at 30.
KellyBut talk about after, even like after the scratching your skin out. You said you were calm, so it worked.
KristinIt did work. No, I was super calm. I was super calm. And I was not calm getting there. Like I was going into it. I was not in a calm headspace, but I was on the way home. I was very cool. I was super calm. Even Dalton was like, You're very calm right now. And I was like, Yeah, I know. I but I I feel calmer since going on this yoga journey that we have been on for the last, I don't know, what do you call it? Three months? Was it been since January? Probably four months.
KellyI've taken on my little app 45 yoga classes.
KristinSo there's no way to judge that. Because you go all you go like four times a week. Yeah. But anyway, so relatively new yoga journey. But I I do feel I wouldn't say calmer, but I would say more subtle. Okay, so now that we got now that we're introduced to sound baths and yoga, what else about healing is on your mind?
Why Breathwork Belongs In Recovery
KellyWatching mom have to go through the surgery, the aftermath of the surgery. I feel like, and and having also been on the yoga journey, I may not have put these things together before that, but I feel like there is more that can be done in general medical healing, especially in situations that big and that drastic, to prepare patients for the aftermath. Because a big thing for her wasn't even it wasn't even necessarily her heart and how she felt, it was just dealing with being uncomfortable, just dealing with not knowing how to like breathe through things, not knowing how to exist in discomfort and and know that you are healing. I'm safe, I'm healing. I am just very uncomfortable right now.
KristinWell, I think too, like, not like well, and I guess we should kind of preface it. I'll I'll I'll take the hit if she ever listens to this, which I don't think she will. Our mom, if there was a superhero villain to my god, she would be it. Like if like she's not good at not being anxious. Continue. Oh, that was it. That was all I was I was just trying to preface.
KellyShe's not good at not being anxious, no.
KristinYes, and uh like she's a problem jumper. If you solve a problem for her, she will jump to the next problem because it's not about solutions, it's about problems. But I don't think that that is that's uncommon.
KellyNo, I don't think it's uncommon, especially in high intensity situations like the aftermath of open heart surgery.
KristinOh no, I I'm just saying that you're we're also dealing with an individual who their baseline is high anxiety.
KellyHer baseline is high anxiety, but I was at all of the pre-op appointments and they kept saying things like you might feel depression, you might feel anxious, here's breathing apparatuses, you're going to have to breathe very deeply in order to keep your lungs inflated so you don't get pneumonia, so you don't die. And they didn't really prepare her mentally or uh breathing is a physical thing, but there is other parts of breathing that I think they could have done a better job than like in the ICU, maybe better lighting, maybe some mood music, maybe, maybe some nurses that are actually more energy and meditation coaches that can help her learn how to breathe. Box breathing probably would have helped, you know, quite a bit, but and maybe not so much everyone hates Raymond, and maybe a little more, you know, mindfulness.
KristinThere is a large gap in the healthcare system when it comes to medication and healing, like or medication versus healing, right? Like, I don't know if our systems and and people are trained for healers, right? That's what I'm getting at. Yep. And and that's no shade at anybody or or anything to do with the system. I just think it it is a large overarching gap that, like, yes, somebody who goes through the that type of larger surgery and things like that, it is kind of one of those things where why can't you cover uh six months of yoga after? Yeah. Maybe they should give recommend you to a yoga studio or a breathing coach or a like before. So you even learn how what breathing deep. I mean, the only thing is before about that though, is that like like she's kind of an anomaly in that fact of that.
KellyShe doesn't know how to breathe deep. I don't think so. No, no, no.
KristinI no, I meant that people that get that specific surgery normally get it in extreme circumstances. Like they don't normally know like they wake up one day and get that surgery in target and then they're on the ground. Right. Has happened. They don't necessarily have the buildup that she had. But the fact that she did have that buildup, it would have been nice if somebody would have been like, hey, you know what helps is a take a yoga class for the next three months while we're waiting for the surgery or learn how to breathe or whatever. It is a big gap in our system. And I think that it is something that people should be more aware of and take agency in for themselves. Like it is a helpful thing that I think a lot of people miss in life.
KellyLike the little breathing toy. If you don't actually know what taking deep breaths means, hey, taking breaths that deep it can make you anxious because it is something your body isn't used to and it almost feels like suffocating on both ends of it, you know? And so you don't know what to breathe deeper, you don't know what breathing into your your the middle of your body actually means.
KristinEven just especially for somebody who is as a high anxiety as we're kind of talking about, like like you and I personally are talking about it. Like her anxiety is so high that I can see just thinking about breathing because you have it, it's something that you normally don't have to think about. Just having to think about it could bring on a bout of anxiety, and we saw that like it would bring out anxiety because you have to think about this thing that you've never had to think about before.
KellyAnd she breathed even before the surgery when they gave her that little toy, she was only getting to 500. The thing goes to 5,000, she was only getting to 500, so she normally has very shallow breaths, which doesn't but I think that's more because she doesn't practice breathing, right?
KristinBecause I and and I I don't think that's something that's unique to mom. I I think that would be that's what I for most people it would be anxiety inducing, yeah, to like all of a sudden have to like what do you mean?
KellyI have to think about my breathing, and I have to go deeper that hurts, yes, or I think it hurts, yeah, because I'm not used to it, yeah. I feel like there is a more holistic approach to healing that we should talk about versus holistic medicine and conventional medicine.
KristinI feel like, isn't that kind of the way that there's no one who's gonna advocate for you the way that you will advocate for you? It's bunk. It is, it is because I in and I think that there are some amazing people in healthcare out there. Oh, yeah. Every I love my every nurse in that ICU, every doctor and surgeon that we ran into during this whole experience, I was super um impressed with the best medical team I've ever experienced. But it it is it is surprising to me, taking the people part out of it, just the healthcare system itself. You have to be your own advocate. You almost have to know the questions going into appointments, which is crazy to me. Right. But maybe it's better that way, like just playing devil's advocate, like maybe it's better that way because then I have to learn more about my own health journey. And and that's what's led to yoga. That's what's led to a lot of the lifestyle changes that I've had in my life because I'm an advocate for myself.
KellyI do actually think it's better that way because A, I think that we don't have enough doctors and nurses. No, and they do see a lot of people, and they can't research every single person. And you should know what's going on inside of your own body. I think the stigma of you actually knowing what's going on inside of your own body is the thing we might need to work on a bit. Like, I I can come in there and I probably I'm an expert in myself. Yes, I know what's happening inside me. I know I've lived with myself for a lot of years where I know when something's off, I know what normal is, I know what normal isn't.
KristinYes.
KellyAnd if I hear something and it triggers something in me of like, oh aha, maybe that's what's going on. Maybe listen to that and and use that as information or data against all these other things that you know. Right helping you
Self-Advocacy And Mammogram Horror Stories
Kellyhelp me.
KristinRight, exactly. I got my first mammogram, what, two years ago?
KellyWhat?
KristinYeah.
KellyOh, I guess me too.
KristinI was like, why is that why is that surprising? I don't know. But um, in and they found something, the guy who reads the printout or what or the image. He was like, oh, and I was like, no, that's just scar tissue from a from a surgery I had like 20 years ago, like it's been there forever, you know. And like he didn't believe me. He didn't believe that like that you had surgery that that that I knew that there I was like, oh yeah, that like like lumpy thing. Yeah, I I know about that. It's been there, it's fine. I've I've had it for at least 15 years. And he like looked at me like I was insane and stupid. And I was like, why would I lie about that? Like, why, why? What would be the point? I mean, I went through the whole thing and it's nothing, it's scar tissue, just like I thought.
KellyAnd saying, Okay, okay, let's just get it checked out so we have a baseline, right?
KristinWhich, but it was more like, oh, you've had it for 15 years, and I'm like, Yeah, bro. Like, yeah. What did he say? Oh, if I was his mother, he would be telling me to get it checked out. And I was like, A, I am at least three years younger than you. So let's go with sister or something. Or daughter. Or daughter, yeah, like like something more like more appropriate. I mean, the whole the whole thing was just condescending, and I'm like, we don't need to be condescending during this process. Like, like, like is I know my body more, like, so like take that and say, Yes, it's probably nothing. I suggest we still get it checked out, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And move on. But don't treat me like I don't know what I'm talking about.
KellyYeah, that's the part where I think I'm okay advocating for myself, I'm okay understanding how busy. But I shouldn't have to fight. I shouldn't have to fight you for what I know. Yes. Just take what I know. And if if you could take what I know and what you know and put it together, you're gonna end up with at a much better spot than if you discount what I know.
KristinTreat it as an individual conversation, not like a blanket of like, oh, well, most people don't know what they're talking about.
KellyOne of the reasons that I started doing the concierge breast image. Is because of my first mammogram. And maybe that's why I think it's been so long because I've had like 17 of them. Oh, yeah. In two years or three years or whatever. But my first mammogram ever, they gave me the mammogram, and then they stuck me back in the waiting room. And then someone comes in and they go, Come with us. And then they stuck me in a closet. I'm not joking, a closet. And they were like, This will be your last image. I'm like, of my life? Am I dying? Like, what the f is happening? And so they left me in this closet and then they took me into another room. And then they they were like, we need to do an ultrasound because we found something. This is this is literally all the information I'm getting. And I'm crying on the ultrasound table, like, oh my god, I'm dying. I have I have cancer, like this, oh my god, like this is it. And because no one's telling me anything. No. And so they do the ultra and then they come back and with a piece of paper that says probably not cancer on top. But then I have to go get mammograms every six months for the next three years to follow a thing. And so then I went in for my second one, which took me six months to schedule. And then I get to the hospital. I scheduled it six months in advance. I get to the hospital, they take me into another closet after I've been sitting there for two hours. And someone sits me down and they're like, We don't have your old images because we never got them. And so we can't do your scan today. And I was like, get the fuck out of here right now. I was so mad. And so I was like, so this is incompetence, right? And she was like, Well, I wouldn't say that. I'm like, well, I would. Because I like flew up here because I was somewhere else. I scheduled this six months ago. And you're sitting here telling me that someone on your end didn't do their job of making sure you had all the paperwork to get me my appointment today. I'm like, can't we just do the images and then you can get the other images and then you can compare them later? She's like, well, then we can't close it with insurance. Well, go fuck yourself. Then I spend a thousand dollars a year now, so I can go to the mammogram place that gives me a mimosa and gives me a little robe, and it's like a spa, and I get Madeline cookies, and I can go whenever I want, and I can get whatever pictures I want. And the doctor sits down with me and she shows me the pictures and points everything out. It's wonderful, it's a wonderful experience.
KristinEverything we do is based off of our insurance companies. Yeah. And it's like you can't close it with the insurance. I mean, like, eventually you can, like, once you do your job and get the other image. But you could do it tomorrow. Yeah, like close it tomorrow. Right. Like, but to not render service because you didn't do a part of it. Like, like, are you supposed to carry around pictures of your boobs in your pockets and like hand them out to people?
KellyYeah, like any access to them. That's on you all. Like, if you want me to be responsible for it, tell me. I'll put them in a file folder. I'll bring them with me. I'll show everybody.
SPEAKER_01I'll show everybody.
KellyYou want to see them? Here you go. This is the inside. Here you go.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's great.
SPEAKER_00Got no secrets. I don't I really don't have any secrets.
KristinNot anymore. All right.
Yoga Class Grudges And Safe Spaces
KristinWell, what else about healing?
SPEAKER_01Don't make a plan, Chrissy. Just let it flow, Chrissy. We've been doing good. It's 41 minutes in. We got. No, actually, no, we know we've been doing fine. You could have been thinking about healing this whole time. I've been saying this for weeks.
KristinThis is not if if we're if we're just riffing right now. We're always just riffing. That's the whole point. I felt very targeted at yoga. I felt like it was, I felt like she targeted me. That teacher targeted me. Anti-healing?
KellyBecause you didn't get your cold towel?
KristinNo, I just I felt like it was very personal. It was very personal that she did not give me. I was the only person who didn't get a towel. She was telling me.
KellyOh, David said that they she put it in their hands and not on their foreheads. Were your hands like there was no towel around me? I even looked.
KristinI looked.
KellyI was like, oh, maybe, maybe I didn't get but were you like clench fists clenched and she didn't think you wanted one?
KristinHad my my hand she could have just laid it on top of your hands then. She could have just dropped it on my forehead or said, here you go, and put it on the floor, or done she could have done eight the hundred things, but she chose not to give me one. So maybe it wasn't targeted then. Maybe she just didn't know how.
SPEAKER_00So she's just stupid.
KristinYou said it, I think. But yes, maybe my maybe I was a little fast to be harsh.
KellyBut if it felt targeted, how does it not feel targeted when you open your eyes and you're the only one without like I wasn't there because I didn't go because I only like certain yoga teachers.
KristinYou were so lucky.
KellyIt's a space where I go to actually recharge, which is a very you should be picking about it. Yeah, you don't have a lot of those spaces nowadays where you actually get energy back. That's not a thing that happens a lot in modern life right now.
KristinEven the gym takes your energy, yeah.
KellyLike Spider-Man, yeah, it's like hard there sometimes. Like the guy who snuck up and took the treadmill the other day just because he was old doesn't mean you get to steal the treadmill.
KristinHe was like stealing it in slow motion, though. Cause I mean he was he's that old that like everything he does is probably in slow motion. When you were going even slower, where were you? Okay, well, I made eye contact with him and he kept going anyway. And I was like, okay. And then he looks at me. You went away.
KellyOh, was I not supposed to take this treadmill? It's a battle of wills right now, sir.
SPEAKER_01And if you weren't 85 years old, I was telling you like Chuck and do another treadmill. I was trying, I was, I was trying. I thought he was just gonna, I just thought we were just gonna see old man sail over the treadmills. You did good though.
KristinYou did, you did. You you you did not throw an old man.
KellyBut be but uh back to the but because yoga is a space where you actually get energy back, I do think that you have to be picky, and I will only go to people I'm absolutely sure about.
KristinNo, like having that missing piece of the puzzle that she put it in people's hands and knowing that I don't sivasana with my hands out. I don't have to. No, I I put them on she could have laid it on top of your hands. She could have, or she could have just said, here's your towel. Well, she could have said, here's your towel, and then I would have opened my eyes and and grabbed the towel from her. Um, but but I will be generous in my thinking, and maybe she just didn't know how. Maybe I was a little quick to Okay, so she teaches yoga on the reg.
KellySo she should know how.
KristinI mean, I won't take another yoga class from her, but I will be more generous in my thinking towards her should I ever see her again. That's my commitment to being a better person. Healing, healing, healing from the healing, healing myself into a better person.
KellyI mean, you are you're wearing your bracelet from the sound bath, so you may it must have gotten something carried forward from it.
KristinI didn't hate it.
KellyDo you have your phone?
KristinYeah.
KellyWhat is what is that bead and what does it mean?
KristinOh, the purple one? I don't know. How do I know what it is?
KellyIs it amethyst? Is it amethyst? Let me see.
KristinYeah. Like, what does amethyst mean?
KellyWell, what does amethyst on a lava rock bracelet mean? Oh wow, it's that's that's what I asked it.
KristinWait, what does turquoise mean?
KellyI don't remember. It's on my phone, but I don't have my phone. Oh, you know what? I do have Chat GPT on my computer though.
KristinOh, you asked Chat? I'm sure.
Bracelet Meanings Reiki And Energy Trust
KellyI asked Chat everything. What do you mean? It's my best friend.
KristinAn amethyst on a lava rock bracelet symbolizes a powerful combination of grounding stability and spiritual calm intended to balance emotions and enhance peace of mind. The lava stone offers emotional stability, strength, and grounding from the root chakra, while amethyst brings calm, intuition, and spiritual insight. Maybe she did know something about me that I don't know. Maybe we should go up to Sedona.
KellyYeah. I want to do a Reiki session. Hmm.
KristinI don't know if I'm ready for that. That sounds I'm ready.
KellyI'm ready. But see, I think you need it to be with someone you trust because it is an exchange in my mind. The way I think about it is it is some sort of exchange of energy. And so I do feel like you need it needs to be with someone you trust, or you're gonna end up having your energy sucked out of you and replaced with crap energy. I don't want that.
KristinNo, I was just thinking of going up to Sedona to shop for like crystals.
KellyOkay. We can do that too.
KristinOkay.
KellyOkay, so you're ready for my realization?
KristinOh my god, my so wait, let's let's cue this up the way that it was cued up to me.
KellyIt's not realization.
KristinYesterday. We're walking. What were we doing? On the treadmill? We're walking on the treadmill in the middle of the gym. And your sister, if you have one, if you don't picture a best friend, somebody, somebody you know, they turn to you and they say, I had an epiphany, but I won't tell you until we talk on the podcast. And so what do you do? I just said, okay. So now we're here. We're here. So so fast forward to today to today. To now. And now I get to hear the epiphany that I didn't get to hear yesterday. So lay it on me.
KellyI
Cannabis Curiosity As A Healing Tool
Kellythink I want to start doing pot.
KristinOh wow. Okay. You want to start doing pot. Like smoke a joint?
KellyWell, no, because it's stinky.
KristinLike eating.
KellyYeah, but see, what I don't like about gummies is that I'm really into gummy, I'm really into gummy things. Like what are they called? What are the like like what are like the fruit fruity fruity dewis? What are what are the fruit the fruit squishers?
SPEAKER_04Fruit snacks.
KellyFruit snacks. Thank you. I love fruit snacks. And I will eat fruit snacks like like I will shove them in my mouth. I can't even have I can't even buy them because I'll just eat all of them. Okay.
KristinSo that's what's bringing this whole pot thing on though?
KellyMy healing journey.
KristinYeah, yeah. But what where did we go? What where where where'd the pot thing come from? Who put that in your head? Nobody.
KellyIt just popped in.
KristinDuring the sound bath? I don't understand. Where did it come from?
KellyIt's been a while. Like a year. I've been thinking about this.
KristinFull disclosure, I've never smoked pot. I've never done drugs. I don't know what it's like.
KellyI've done it once, and I had to hold my eyes in my head at Coney Island.
KristinThat's why I don't want to do it.
KellyBut now it's but now it's illegal and you can actually go and like talk to people about the different kinds of pot. And I don't drink much anymore because I just it's something between the sugar and just the it's just a lot. But I did like the the turning the volume down of a glass of wine, but now it just feels additive.
KristinI'm not not on board.
KellyBut I want it to be more of a hookah experience where I can just like sit outside with my giant tower of steamy smoke and and keep puffing on my hookah like the like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland, but I don't think that's how it works. No, and it's really difficult to figure out how it works when you have never experienced like you you didn't grow up like like finding a way.
KristinNo, well, I mean, okay, because that's the scary part, right? It's like there is a whole bunch of I I don't know what you call them, strains or whatever that do a whole bunch of different things. And so it's like, are you gonna smoke the paranoid one and do that for a couple hours? Because that sounds like my night.
KellyOne, I'm not talking about like tripping my brains out. It could be like that, I guess, but I don't think so. I think it's more like chamomile tea.
KristinAre we so okay, wait? So are we saying that we are going to find a delivery method of pot and you want to try you want to get high one night?
KellyMaybe. You know what triggered this? The Kardashians episode where Chloe takes Chris to the pot store in Palm Springs, and every time we go to Palm Springs, I always ask David if we can go to the Kardashian pot store, and we've never gone because we never have. But that was like, oh well, it Chloe does pot. And I don't actually know if she does, but she did take Chris there, and I think they did actually get high from go because she her hip hurt and she wanted something to help.
KristinI'd I'd be down to try it once. I just know that like because of age and circumstance, it has to be a good environment.
KellySo here's the part about this why I think this is a part of a healing journey. Because I don't believe, and we have both seen firsthand people disintegrate because of overuse of drugs and marijuana being one of the core drugs that those people were using.
KristinYeah, well, yeah, I mean I've I've I've seen every yeah, every every walk of that drinking.
KellyIt it it can be not a good thing for a lot of people. It can be a band-aid for a lot, just like drinking. It can it's the same. In my mind, it you can either it can either be a thing where you choose the right circumstance, the right mind space, but the right thing.
KristinI think the idea of doing it to experience it, like like I think that's probably one of the bigger things is what mind like why are you doing it? What's the mind space? If you're doing it to bring yourself peace, I don't think that's where you find peace. Right? I don't I don't think you find peace in your life or in yourself by chemically altering your thoughts. I think that if you're doing it to have an experience and be more open with yourself, then I think that that's a the then that's like a special thing. Like like like that that that's a special circumstance where you're not going to get like you don't need it.
KellyYou're just you don't need it. And I do think that you hit on something though. It's like it has to be the right you you have to be looking for the right thing. And in my research, and all I have ever done is go on pot stores and look up things and ask ChatGPT about my pot journey, which has not started, it may never start. I don't know. We'll know, we'll see. Maybe one day, but there are pot for creativity, there's pot for calm, there's pot for sleep, and I feel like because it's regulated now to a degree, who knows, you know, I don't know. But I feel like I can get the right thing right versus whatever was happening at Coney Island at three in the morning when I was holding my eyes in my head. I mean, I was having a good time, but I did. I had my uh my hands over my eyes, and I remember the girl I was with being like, Why are you holding your eyes? And I was like, Because they're gonna fall out if I don't hold them here. First and last experience pot. That was it. That was it for me. Because I don't like being out of control.
KristinI yeah, I don't know. I I don't know. I've never felt like I needed it, like any any sort of drug. But I think that's the right time, right?
KellyBecause you don't feel like you need it, and I think that's what you're saying.
KristinYeah, I've I was saying if if you're going to try it, that would be to me, that's the headspace to be in when you do. I don't know. I say let let the pot journey begin. Let's see. We'll see.
unknownWe'll see.
KellyMaybe next time in Palm Springs I'll actually go to the pot store.
KristinWhy don't we just go to Palm Springs pot store? It's not that far.
KellyBecause I keep looking online for luxury pot store near me. No, shut up.
unknownI do.
KristinYou can see it in my Google search. You know what we should do? Maybe we'll do this. Okay. Maybe um we can go to LA and get a Airbnb for the weekend.
KellyLA is nowhere near Palm Springs.
KristinYeah, but we can stop on the way at the Palm Springs place, get the pot, go to the Airbnb, get high. High LA. I don't know because I want to be a little bit more than a lot of the same. So the last place in the world I want to be high is LA. Why not? I just want to see.
Xanax On A Flight And Trapped Panic
KellyBecause uh so that reminds me of my one Xanax experience. Xantax, Xanax. I don't know, whichever one is not the tummy medicine. So I had to go on a very long plane ride, longest I've ever been, longest I've ever had to fly, and I am not a good flyer. This is fact. I am a terrible flyer. I mentally feel like I have to hold the plane in the air the entire time. And this was gonna be like 24 hours of air travel anyway. So I went to the doctor and I said, I need a Xanax text. Xanax. Xanax. Xanax. And the doctor said, Why? And I said, Because I'm afraid to fly and I have to go to the Middle East. And she said, That's irrational. And I was like, fuck yourself. So she gave me two, and I took one on the way there, and I turned on the Lego movie, and I felt like the lady was coming and handing me sand. She just kept handing me sandwiches, and I just kept eating sandwiches, and I was watching the Lego movie, and I really don't remember the rest of the flight. It's a long time, but that's all I can remember. Isn't that the point of the sand expelled? No, because my whole time in my head kept looping, the engines are gonna shut off, the engines are gonna shut off, and I that that anxiety was like trapped and looping in my head, and the sandwiches and the drooling and the Lego movie were on the outside of my body. I on the inside of my body was panic, trapped, trapped panic, and so that's when I learned you have to work through things. You have to work from the inside of your body, it has to go to the outside of your body, like it has to be a journey, and they have to pass through, and you have to work through them, and that was not the way. Xanax tax is not the way for me to work through anything.
KristinBecause I don't want to go shopping.
KellyBecause LA is like the Lego movie.
KristinNo, it's not, it's like shopping at Palm Show.
KellyWhy can't we go to Palm Springs and get an Airbnb and sit in the desert?
KristinBecause we already live in the desert. I just wanted to see the ocean. But that's fine. We could go from the desert to the desert.
KellySo we'll go to the ocean. Yeah, I'm in like Santa Monica. Okay, we'll go to Santa Monica.
KristinAnd like go shopping at Melrose. Not high. Like, we'll get high at night in the Airbnb and stay in the air.
KellyI feel like I could do some bomb ass shopping high. It would be really colors. I would buy clothes in colors.
KristinI'm I'm I'll stay sober, I'll get you high, we'll go shopping. No, no, no.
KellyHe wants to be the sober person in any situation. Yeah, and how fun has that been? I mean, I still talk to a lot of those people, so I mean it wasn't that bad. No, no, but in the situation, you're not the one having fun. Oh, if we do get high, Joni's gotta come. Oh, Joni.
KristinShe already like I I already gave her my first experience. Who else do you want experience? No, no, I already I promised her. Oh, okay. It's a promise.
KellyJoni can come.
Mother’s Day Call And Closing Bits
KellyOkay, pause and call mom back. Well, she just called. I don't have my phone.
SPEAKER_01Hello, did you just call? Okay, did you just call Kelly?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay, she's she's right here. Yeah, we're recording. What'd she what did she say? What'd you say?
unknownDon't call me on Mother's Day.
KellyBecause you're coming over. You're coming over. I always call my mother on Mother's Day. Well, okay, so well give me a half hour and I'll call you.
SPEAKER_01Never mind. I want it.
unknownWhen can I come over?
KellyI thought Chrissy said two o'clock.
KristinJust come over. Just come over whenever. We're almost we're almost done with this recording anyway. Just just I mean if you want to come over now, just come over now.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's up to Kelly.
KellyI mean Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, mom, stop it. Yeah, just come over now. Just come over now. Come over now. Okay. I'm I'm gonna start out, but I'm gonna I'm gonna catch you in the driveway to sell the doggy. I I don't want them put away, but I you know, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll I'll get 'em so they don't jump on you. All right, okay.
unknownI'll be there in about twenty minutes or so.
KristinOkay.
unknownAll right, bye bye.
KristinIt takes a conscious effort, not To call your mother and then no Yeah, I say let's do pot.
SPEAKER_00All right. Oh, it's Mother's Day and look what I'm wearing. This is your favorite daughter because she loves me because I called her.
KristinYou didn't call her. I called her twice.
KellyMom has had um uh three three to plus plus plus three months of of Mother's Day.
KristinShe's completely fine. She's completely fine. Yes. Well, like and subscribe.
KellyAnd smoke pot. We have a marshmallow fluffing or darma pande to make.
KristinWhatever you want.
KellyWhat kind of ice cream did you buy?
KristinI bought four different kinds. What kinds? Well, there's a coconut one that doesn't have that that was for me. That's peanut butter brownie. And then there is pistachio honey. And then there is just a regular vanilla for all the vanillas out there. And then there is a chocolate. There's a gelato that's like a a chocolate chip, possibly coffee. So what did you get for mom?
KellyThe vanillas. She's a vanilla. She's a peanut butter chocolate person.